Pats Pending: Fill & Download for Free

Answering this along lines of some legal action is complicated.So, let’s take a different approach.Send letters to yourself! Mail them from a post office somewhere on the island. Or better yet, send an email to a friend far away, which will be the text of a postal mail they send to you. Gets a post mark of New York, or maybe Tokyo!The content of the letter, however, should be directed to your PARENTS! They open the letter to YOU, and see it is really a letter to THEM:Dear Mom and Dad,Since you have not honored my spoken wishes of privacy, I thought I would write to you, instead. Since I know you open and read my mail, what better way to communicate with you than by a letter I address to myself…There are some other possible exploits, here:Fake return addresses from scary-sounding places such as the imaginary Immunology Laboratories, whose address is Bubonic Lane, Gland, ID. Message on outside of envelop: “Your genital disease results are enclosed.”Recruit friends to send you all kinds of wacky letters:“Thanks for the $1,000 loan. I am pleased to enclose my repayment of the same. Tell your parents I said ‘Hi’” and enclose some Monopoly money.It was great having you as a guest in our Spokane home, last week. We appreciate your help in design and construction of our marijuana greenhouses…And this one, from an attorney named Pat Pending: “Dear Brandon, We are pleased to advise you that the initial submission of your design for generation of electricity from pineapple juice has been given tentative approval, pending your presentation of final drawings and a working model.”Or maybe this, from a seafood wholesaler: “Dear Mr. Brown, This will confirm receipt of your order for 300 pounds of Chesapeake Bay backfin crab meat, which is scheduled for delivery on (date). Although carefully packed in dry ice in thermal containers, it is essential that someone be present to take delivery and see to immediate refrigeration of the contents…”Then again, this: “Dear Mr. Brandon, We confirm that you submitted the winning entry in our $50,000 sweepstakes, but must advise that owing to your age, the prize money must be collected by your parents or other legal guardian, in person. The actual check will be reduced by $10,000 for payment of estimated income tax, and the check itself will be made payable to your parents or guardian. Your parents (or guardian) must present themselves in person to the following address…Maybe some of these:The idea, here, is to generate a flood of mail, so your parents are kept very busy keeping up, with you.Hope any of that helps.[EDIT:] Many comments suggest that opening mail addressed to someone else is illegal or a criminal offense (mail tampering).Not necessarily.Messing with mail while still in the custody of the post office (which includes mail in a mail box) may be a criminal act depending on exactly what was done.But after receipts by the addressee? No. At that point, the mail piece is no longer in the custody of the PO. However, opening mail belonging to someone else might be a violation of privacy or some other bad behavior. The offended party may sue. But don’t expect the post office to get involved.

Able N. DwillingAmber AlertAnna ChronisticAnne TagonosticAngie O'PlastyBarb ArianBeau NydleBen DoverCrystal KleerDai HorriblyDawn ChorusDeb AucheryDonna KebabEd CaseElla VerthingEvan ZabbuvEve NinnallFran TasticFrank Lee LudicrousGary BaldyGerry AttricHank UrrchiffHerb GardenHugh JarsseIvor BiggunJen Errly-SpeakingKitty LitterLaura NorderLee PuppandownLou SwimminMal OderousMandy Witha-TorquewrenchMay B. TomorrowMel O'DramaticMeg Le ManiacMike RoscopicMinnie SkewlMiss DemeanourMolly BedenumMother Wize-DisposedNeal E. Butt-KnottquiteNeal N. ThtrousersOlly AginousPat PendingPaul TergeistPenny FarthingPhil OssiferPolly CarbonateRay VingloonySian TargueSir PlusterequirementsStu PendousSue PreemSue PernatchuralVic AriousWendy HouseYul B. SorryYvonne de Loanlee-Assacloud

While ideas such as "living life without compromise" and consistently expressing the "Inner Wonderfulness of You In All That You Say and Do" (pat. pending) have some rhetorical appeal, on the whole I think they merely mark their proponents out as life's theoreticians.In real life, the ability / willingness to compromise is frequently vital to actually achieving anything (and sometimes even to merely retaining the liberty to try something else tomorrow).As for being perceived as "better" than other people, purveyors of this sort of nonsense are probably motivated by nothing more sinister than the (understandable) desire to sound incisive and sure.But real life is way more complicated than that - in reality you can only simplify so far before you start losing critical information.