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If you're a woman, how does it feel when a man opens a door for you? Is it a compliment or sexism? And if a man, why do you open doors for women?

This story also fits into the category of “No good deed goes unpunished”.But before I get to that part, I’ll just say that I open doors for everyone… man, woman, or in between. For me, it has not a bit to do with sexism. I’m an equal-opportunity opener. It doesn’t really require any conscious thought; it just happens. If someone is directly behind me as I approach a door, I’ll pull it open and stand aside, particularly if it swings out. This has led to some awkward positions, if it happens to swing in, but… no biggie. It’s just the right thing to do. I can’t say that I was ever taught to do this by my parents. I’ve just always been courteous. I was the kid that always said please & thank you, who got my friends in trouble with their parents, when they would chastise their kids by saying “Oh, how polite. Why can’t you be more like Stefan?”Why do I do it? To be quite frank, I do it for me. It makes me feel good; perhaps only subconsciously, but nevertheless, it does. So, basically I’ve lived a lifetime of opening doors for other people. I’ve paid a price for this lifelong, continuous drip of do-goodery. Literally. The price I’ve paid is exactly $5000, minus taxes.In 1987, I was living in Florida and working as a Domino’s Pizza delivery driver. It was a good job, in a wealthy neighborhood; tips were usually generous. The crew I worked with were all decent people. This particular Saturday afternoon was a typical day. The Assistant Manager in charge that day was a guy named Lee. He was a short, chubby Korean immigrant, working on his version of the American Dream. He happened to look a lot like Kim Jung Un, except that he didn’t shave the sides of his head in the way that our favorite current dictator does. He was never without a smile, and we were pretty good friends.There were certain routines that we had fallen into, after several months on the job. One of these routines was that each day, during lunch, Lee and I would go to the deli next door, and try our luck with the newest craze that was just beginning to spread across the country… lottery tickets. Each day, we’d both gotten into the habit of spending $1 on a scratch-off, in hopes of getting lucky and winning a million dollars (if your’re beginning to guess where this is going… you’re right). On this summer day in 1987, we both happened to walk out the front door at the same time, to get our ticket. I was a bit ahead of him. I took a left turn and walked the 15 feet to the deli door. He was walking slower. When I got to the door, he happened to be at that certain distance behind me, where a quick decision needs to be made, whether to go through the door, or to somewhat awkwardly wait that extra couple seconds, holding the door. My subconscious made the quick calculations for me, and I pulled open the door and stood aside. I didn’t factor in his slow walk, though. My wait, holding the door, was a second or two longer than usual. A flicker of mild impatience, that I had miscalculated, fleeted through my brain, for future reference… and a moment later, I waved him forward, into the deli. He smiled and said “Thank you, sir”. I nodded, and followed him in. He walked to the counter, bought his ticket and went back to our store. I was right behind him, bought my ticket, and in a minute was back in our store, as well.I pulled out a quarter, from my bulging pants-pocket of tip money, and scratched off the six spots on my ticket. Nothing. As usual. A few seconds later, I heard a shout coming from the tiny office… “Alright!! WOOHOO!!”I turned toward the office and saw Lee sitting in his chair, looking at me. His moon-shaped face was grinning from ear to ear. “I won! I won $5000!!”I ran into the office and looked as he excitedly held up his ticket. Sure enough… three of his scratched-off spots showed $5000.Lee started jumping up and down, holding the winning ticket against his chest. Another driver tried to hold it, to see the winning numbers, and he quickly snatched it back; a little too quickly, it seemed; with just the tiniest bit of viciousness. But that was overlooked, as his excitement spread through the rest of the crew in the store. We were all genuinely happy for him, clapping his back and shaking his hand. There were plenty of smiles, all around. After the initial euphoria started to fade, a thought entered my brain. While still smiling, and still genuinely happy for him… it dawned on me that if I had made a different decision three minutes ago… if I had not been so damn polite… if I had not waited that extra few seconds, holding the door for him… that would have been my ticket!!I was feeling a weird emotion of legitimate happiness, mixed with an equal part of… something else. I’m not sure what exact emotion that was, but it felt like a rock inside my gut. At first I didn’t say anything. But after a few minutes, as things calmed down some more, I just had to say the words out-loud. “You know… if I hadn’t waited, holding the door for you… I would have bought that ticket”.“I know!” he says, looking at me with the broadest grin possible. I smiled back, waiting for the second part of his sentence. He looked away. There was no second part to his sentence.“Holding the door for you cost me $5000”.“I know! I can’t believe it!”, he says.“Thank you?”“Thanks” he says, laughing.“You could thank me with a little reward, if you want”.“Hahaha!”“No, really”.“Okay. Double thank you! Hahaha!”WTF, I’m thinking. “Really? Nothing?”He didn’t say anything; seemingly completely unaware that I was making an actual suggestion. He just kept smiling.“How about fifty bucks?… ten bucks?”“Hahaha.. no way” he says, still thinking I’m not serious.I had to stop smiling. Of course, I had no legitimate claim on any reward. No legitimate expectation. But still, it bothered me. I tried to imagine the situation being reversed, and tried to think what I would have done. I came to the honest conclusion that I would have given him $10, along with many sincere thank-you’s, and a hearty two-handed hand shake. I would have felt guilty if I didn’t. Also, I would have given him acknowledgement that his good deed had been greatly appreciated. But I got nothing. Not even sincere acknowledgement. That really rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t pursue it any further. I understood that it was not fair that I put my ethics upon him. I got it. But it still sucked.Three or four days later, I came into work and heard that Lee was on vacation for two weeks. He flew back to Korea to see family.I could only sigh. I pondered how my good manners cost me $5000. When it comes down to it, I couldn’t have done it any other way. Holding the door for other people was a part of my makeup. The accumulated self-satisfaction of a lifetime of good manners was valuable to me. I used that knowledge to overcome most of the resentment that I felt, but never showed toward Lee, after that. I don’t know how justified those feelings were. Probably not very. I never came to a conclusion. It just sucked too much, and was too internally conflicting to keep thinking about. So I stopped thinking about it. Until 31 years later, when I saw a Quora question about holding doors for people. What can I say? I’m only human.C'est la vie.

Can those who pay to spread climate change denial be charged with criminally negligent homicide in the event of a future disaster?

Wow. This begs a whole lot of other questions. Perhaps the answer will come to us in the form of a question.Can those who caused the extinction of a species be held liable? Can those who did not support a tax used by the Department of the Interior to clear dead brush be liable if a fire happens and it kills someone? What about deaths from hurricanes since Florida Building codes of 30 years ago that were not as robust as now? So many questions.Back to the main question….What kind of ‘disaster’? A global warming induced hurricane? A hotter summer? A colder winter? Too much rain? Not enough rain? Lets be frank, every climate change model produces all of the above to some degree. Which ones are fair game? How do you verify it was climate change? What degree of proof is needed to show it was specific to climate change and not within statistical norms or probabilities to begin with?And what kind of death? Lets say an 80 year old man in Chicago does not have air conditioning during a 90+ heat wave and dies. Well, if it was 85, he may have lived. Or not. Is that a climate change death? Chicago does get heat waves sometimes, so how do you prove it was climate change that did it? (you can’t) [Or is it society’s fault for not providing him with the unalienable right to air conditioning? ]Lets say the ocean warms…a fishing ground gets a new pathogen that reduces catch, so prices go up, and fewer people can afford the fish and some starve. It that climate change induced homicide that should be prosecuted? and if so, how to you do that? (you can’t) Or a fisherman goes farther out to get his catch, gets caught in a storm and is lost at sea. Is that a climate change death?The six degrees of climate change game? In six steps, I can link any death to climate change. Lawyers….ATTACK!So, lets dissect the question a bit more….not many people actually pay money to deny climate change? It is debated, and there are skeptics, but I would argue more money is spent promoting it than denying it. What if it turns out to be overblown? Do all the climate change advocates get to be prosecuted? (you can’t)Criminally negligent homicide in the future? Well…climate change is slow. Human lives are short by comparison. How do you prosecute a guy who may have been skeptical 30 years after his death when a set of empirical finally arrives to show he may have been wrong. (you can't)Free speech implications. Denying climate change is not exactly yelling “Fire!” in a crowded theater. You are allowed to have a different opinion, be it right or wrong. What about someone who says blood transfusions or organ donations are weird…do you get to prosecute them because their refusal to donate may cost a life? (you can’t)Last question….And what about people who say they believe in it but do not sufficient actions to mitigate it? Why did they fly the family on vacation when they could have driven and emitted less carbon? Why did they keep their heat in the 70s in the winter, not at 63 F? Why did they not all drive a Prius? Why did they not plant more trees? Oh my….they ate meat?!?!?!?! Why did they not recycle more? Are they not even worse than so many climate change deniers…they are actually doing the deeds that cause it!!!! Are they liable too? Is it like a climate hate crime? Shall they also be hung by the neck until they are dead! Dead! Dead! (Squire of Gothos steal)Didn’t think so.

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