If You Need Medical Help When The Surgery Is Closed Please: Fill & Download for Free

I recently had surgery for some female troubles, and in my pre-surgical appointment, my doctor disclosed that I’d spend most of the time in a position that some might consider undignified.I laughed. I had a similar procedure in 2006 and nobody thought to bring this up. I had already figured how they’d have to position me to do what they had to do. Note: it’s similar to the position women assume during childbirth. Google it if you need to.My new doctor is a talker, and he outlined the ways that my dignity would be preserved and who would be in the operating suite to see. I think he mentioned that my breasts would be covered and that nobody who didn’t need to be in the room would be allowed to watch.I didn’t pay close attention to what he was saying. I was a little too busy marveling at the fact that this was even brought up in the first place. Talking about dignity in the OR, is that the new standard of care?I was more concerned about bacteria being introduced or nerves accidentally damaged than I was about the male doctors — three surgeons and a young, hunky anesthesiologist — seeing me in the undignified position.They also warned me they would take pictures, which they showed me. They’re not appearing in Playboy anytime soon. They did get a nice shot of my liver, which I was pleased to see looked healthy and beautiful. (“Have a drink on me!” my doctor joked.) I also got to see my appendix, which looked like an appendix.I figured the doctors would be more concerned about what was going on with my insides, and getting the bad stuff out. Would they crack a joke or two? Probably. My brother in law is a surgeon and I know they joke around a bit, but not at the patient’s expense. Again, I really wouldn’t care. Go ahead, laugh at my appendix, if it helps.Edit: Some people are questioning why I laughed when the subject of dignity preservation was brought up. Did I find it humorous? No. Did I find it laughingly obvious? Yes. Like I said, I’d been through this rodeo once before and you can bet I extensively researched the procedure and every permutation of my case both times. I work in healthcare marketing and keep up on care standards, so I was surprised I didn’t know this was now something doctors discussed with patients. I’d imagined the journal articles, the CE modules, the medical society consensus statements on covering up boobs and buttcracks.Plus, I guess I felt the issue was trivial, considering what else would be going on. I was thinking, “This guy is going to spend 6 hours carving out my insides while the anesthesiologist keeps me sedated to the near brink of death and this is what I should be worried about?” Other than that, what did you think of the play, Mrs. Lincoln?

All 50 states have “Safe Haven Laws” on the books, which vary slightly from state to state. You can certainly relinquish your baby at the hospital with no questions asked, although for your own safety and medical history information, they will certainly ask you for your name (and there is no reason not to give it because that’s confidential information). You don’t have to give a reason but if you show up at a hospital, alone (or with a friend), in labor, they must give you care and deliver you. They want to help you have a safe delivery and a healthy baby. They may have a social worker talk with you so they can be sure your needs are met. You can absolutely do this without your parents being notified.Now, having said that, I want to tell you about a girl I helped who was in your exact situation. Mai was 15, the youngest of 8 children from a close-knit family. She was 8 months pregnant when I took her call at Birthright (a pregnancy counseling and assistance non-profit agency I volunteered for) in my community. She had hidden her pregnancy from her entire family with baggy clothes, but for one brother she trusted who was away at college that she told. She wanted to release the baby for adoption. We arranged for her to see a doctor in a couple of days but she didn’t make it that long-she went into labor in the middle of the night. She called me and I drove over to her house, picked her up, and she told her parents (who were immigrants from Vietnam and did not speak English or drive a car) she had a bad stomach ache and a friend was taking her to the hospital. We got her checked in and within the hour she was ready to deliver. The doctor that was going to see her for her pre-natal appointment (that didn’t happen) was able to come to the hospital and told her he had an adoptive family ready if she wanted to go through with this plan. She did call her parents 5 minutes before the baby arrived and told them she was having a baby, then hung up and pushed. Her beautiful son arrived at 5:05 am.She did not want to tell her parents about the baby because of cultural expectations they had in their family. She was in danger because there was a lot of shame attached to having a baby without being married (her baby’s father was white and that would also have been a problem to them). Her cousin had been beaten into having a miscarriage a few months before that because of this expectation in the family. Yet, she knew her parents loved her, and did not wish to hurt her, but if the news got out to the larger extended family they would not be able to save face or protect her. She called them again after the birth and she could talk. She had me go pick them up in a couple of hours and they came to see their grandson. They were so very grateful to me (I was worried they would be angry but they were nothing but kind) and kept saying “thank you”. They felt I had helped their daughter, saving them from having to explain to the rest of their family what was going on ( I really wasn’t involved except at the very end, but they just had to put their gratitude somewhere). The baby was adopted by a mixed-race Caucasian/Vietnamese couple who had adopted a similar mixed baby a couple years before. I took Mai home with me to recover from the birth and a couple of minor complications for a week, and the explanation given to her siblings was that she was on a field trip for spring break with her biology class to the ocean (this involved me forging a “permission slip” and a couple of other dicey explanations. I don’t recommend it but at the time it was the only viable option to protect her).Here’s the thing, and I hope you will consider this very carefully: Mai did have a reason not to tell her family. I understand that happens and it could very well be that you have an important reason not to tell yours, either. But I urge you to consider a few things that you may not know. Most people go through childbirth just fine. But it is not an “okay I had the baby, now I’m fine and can get on with my life” sort of thing. Your body will go through huge changes in going from pregnant to post-partum (“after pregnant”). You may be able to hide your belly now, and afterward (hey, it will be smaller so that’s no big deal). But childbirth is messy, and you may have unexpected things happen that you will have a hard time keeping secret.Number one, depending on how far along you are, what will you do if something happens early? Do you you know your due date? What will you do if you go into labor early? Actually, what will you do if you go into labor at home on time? You will be in obvious distress. Your water may break all over the floor or the bed. You may have mild contractions at first or you may be in a lot of pain. What will happen when your parents say “What’s wrong, honey?”Number two, what if you have to have a c-section? It doesn’t happen to everyone but if it does, you will not be able to keep this from your family. This is a MAJOR surgical procedure with an incision in your lower abdomen and IVs. You cannot have a c-section and expect to pop up afterward and just go about your life. You will spend a few days in the hospital. What do you tell your family why you’re gone or where you are? (even a normal delivery isn’t a drive-by kind of thing. Usually at least 24 hours in the hospital is average). You will have 6 weeks of recovery time from the surgery, with an incision to take care of. You’ll need lots of rest, you can’t lift heavy things, and you may need painkillers. You will have to have doctor appointments to be sure you are recovering and healthy. Someone at home will have to know so they can take care of you.Number 3, all new mothers will produce milk in their breasts. When a baby does not breastfeed, the mother will still make milk, it will leak some, and her breasts will be larger and tender. The milk will “dry up” within 2 weeks. But it will be obvious to anyone you live with that “something” is going on. You can put pads in your bra to keep the leaks from getting your shirt wet but it may still happen. Don’t think about using a binder or too tight of a bra to “hide” your extra curves-you could get mastitis, a serious infection in your breasts, and need to go to the ER. It’s an extremely painful condition and you do not want to go through that if you can help it. Some women get mastitis for no reason, too, and you’d need to get medical care for that.Number 4, every mother bleeds, like a period, after childbirth. Even if you have a c-section, the uterus has a job to do. It has been full of baby for 9 months and now has to go back to being un-pregnant so it can get ready for another baby (if one happens!). There will be discharge for up to six weeks. This is not just like having your period. You’ll need pads (you can’t use tampons!) for that long. So you’ll have to buy them without your parents knowing (because telling mom you’re on your period for a month and a half will get her pretty suspicious), and dispose of them without them noticing extra garbage.Number 5, if you have any infection or complication happen after the baby is delivered, if you have a c-section or not, someone will need to take you to the doctor or hospital. If no one knows you had a baby, no one will be watching for signs that you need help. You’d have to figure out how to get medical treatment without them realizing.Please, please, please, get someone in your corner to help you. Birthright is an international organization and they will help you with whatever you need. You have probably not had any pre-natal care and that’s super important for your baby’s health and for yours as well. You can become very, very sick if you develop high blood pressure or gestational diabetes (this can happen especially to heavy-set girls and women but even to thinner ones). You need to be seen ASAP. They can get you to a doctor for free. If you have a friend with an understanding mom, or a school counselor, or an adult female relative you can trust, please go to them for help. You can’t do this alone and expect to have everything just go back to how it was before you got pregnant. I really hope you have the courage to trust someone because it can mean the difference between life and death. Please reach out and take care of you and your baby.

I once talked to an acid attack victim.She came to the surgery OPD by mistake on a day when our Plastic Surgery OPD was closed.She had her face covered with a dupatta. I was immediately aware that she had some disfigurement that she was trying to conceal but it was only when I saw her treatment card that I realised what the reason behind it was.I read the entire card and slowly looked up at her. She was looking at me with one eye while she kept the rest of her face covered.“I was asked to come after 4 weeks. Here I am.” She told me quietly.“Yes, I see it written here, ma’m, but our plastic surgery OPDs are on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I am afraid, you’ll have to come back tomorrow.”She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.“Can’t you or the doctors here do anything about this?”“We can but we are not plastic surgeons. We are not experts and we are not the best people to help you.”“No one can help me, doctor. You know it.”I had no answer to that.“If there’s anything else I can do for you…” I said.“What can you do? My life is ruined. All I do is travel between my home, the hospital and the court. The last few of weeks my life have been hell. The pain has been unbearable. I can’t even look into the mirror anymore. What do you think you CAN do? Can you get me to look like before?”, she said, her eye moist and a hint of desperation in her voice.I was trying hard to act professional.I wanted to say that I was sorry that this happened to her. I wanted to tell her that I felt a burning hatred for the person or persons who did this to her. I wanted to tell her that she shouldn’t give up because her life wasn’t over.Yet, I didn’t say anything. Everything that came into my head began to sound empty as I was about to say it out loud. My words all seemed so woefully inadequate to offer any kind of assurance to her.That’s why I was trying to be calm and professional. No pity, no sadness, no anger. I was just trying to do what I was there for: my job which was to try and help her.“I’ll try to call the Plastic Surgery resident to see if he can come here and take a look at you. I can’t promise that he will but I will give him a call.”“Thank you.” She said quietly.Nodding, I took out my phone to call the resident.“I shouldn’t have spoken like that to you.” She said, looking straight at me.“It’s completely fine.” I said immediately. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel bad for me.“No, it’s not. I know what it feels like to be spoken to like this, especially if you haven’t done anything to deserve it.”“Really, ma’m, you do not need to apologise at all. It’s okay-”“You know, what hurts the most? Before this I was recently-”Married? Did the husband abandon her? That was the first thought that came to my head.“-promoted. I was a receptionist in a famous hotel. I was good at my job. People speak to us rudely all the time but I was really good at handling them. There wasn’t a single complaint against me to my manager in the one and a half years that I had the job.”She paused, looking down at her feet.“It’s all gone now. They won’t let me work with this…face. It doesn’t matter how well I handle our customers if they can’t handle my face.”, she said, in a voice that was so matter-of-fact that my heart felt like it was being stabbed.This was a woman who had been serious about her job. She had been excited about her future. She had been independent. The first thing she told me about her life was that she had lost the job she had worked so hard at.I don’t know why but this case affected me so much more than other cases. Medically, there exist even more severe cases in which acid attacks have caused complete blindness, paralysis or in the inability to eat or swallow.I know, of course, that you can’t quantify suffering and everyone has their own battles but this one…this one made me want to stop doing my work and go cry in a corner.I forced myself to look away and called the resident. I managed to convince him to come and examine her.“He’ll be here in fifteen minutes. Please wait outside.”, I said with difficulty because I felt a lump in my throat.“Thank you.”, she said softly and left the room.When you throw acid on someone’s face and they survive the attack, you take from them much of what we consider “life”. You take away choices, opportunities, self-respect and throw them into a world of such suffering that they have never known before.Many victims say that death is preferable.I don’t think I’ll be able to argue with them.