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I love this question Bassel. Now I can get on my soapbox! LOL!Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen throughout our world,Today I am here to help you to understand something that exists all over the world that knows no gender, no economic boundary and anyone can be affected and devastated deep down to their soul. Who is it? It is a person that has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).OVERT AND COVERT. They are two different types of NPD. One can be an Overt which most people can recognize to be flamboyant, overbearing, aggressive, self-aggrandizing, controlling, exploitative, and have extreme delusions of grandeur and a need for attention. The other one is a Covert NPD which also called a Closet NPD, who appears to be shy, quiet, introverted, vulnerable, and/or hypersensitive.WHAT IS NPD? A person who suffers from a Narcissistic Personality Disorder is considered to be mentally disordered. It begins in early childhood when they are 2–7 years old when they are developing their personality.CAUSES OF NPD. I have lived 47 years with a Covert NPD/ASPD. I am quite familiar with their behaviors. Researchers are still trying to find out the exact causes of NPD. Psychiatrists and other therapists believe that their mental disorder appears to come from their environment while growing up, genetics, child’s temperament, and possibly comes from influence of social media.Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.“Mask of Perfection” NPD throughout their childhood develop this “Mask of Perfection” that they wear to the world so that can become accepted. Yet behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that is vulnerable to the slightest criticism or perceived criticism. All of the behavior and traits that they portray to the public are never seen behind closed doors.ENVIRONMENTAL CAUSES. As a result of a child living with their parents or caretakers and being influenced by their behaviors often affects a child because they do not feel loved, accepted, cared for, respected, rejected and abused. These are some of the ways a child is affected and can lead to NPD behaviors.Abuse. A child can be abused physically, verbally, emotionally and/or sexually.Parenting Styles. A child can have parents that are raising their child with the parenting style of authoritarian which is controlling behaviors.Extension of the Parent Desires. A child is used by the parent as an extension of the parent’s needs, desires and wants and not the child’s. The child is not recognized as themselves but as what the parents want in their life for the child.MENTALLY DISORDERED CAUSES. It's not known what causes narcissistic personality disorder. As with personality development and with other mental health disorders, the cause of narcissistic personality disorder is likely complex. Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to the following:Environment ― mismatches in parent-child relationships with either excessive adoration or excessive criticism that is poorly attuned to the child's experienceGenetics: The inherited characteristics of NPD.Neurobiology — The connection between the brain and behavior and thinking of the individual. In other words how a child perceived the behavior of a parent or caretaker.ENVIRONMENTAL— The environmental life the child led at home with their parents or caretakers.NPD MANIPULATIVE BEHAVIORS. There are many behaviors and characteristics the NPD do to manipulate you so you behave the way they want you to behave.LACK OF EMOTIONAL EMPATHY. A NPD’s behavior seems callous, unemotional and selfish. They may be able to playact the part of a loving spouse or parent to outsiders, but you will not see any of those wonderful behaviors behind closed doors at home. They are incapable of loving anyone in their life even their children. They are also incapable of caring for anyone and for caring for their feelings because they Lack Emotional Empathy.SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT. They have a sense of entitlement and require a sense of excessive admirations. They expect preferential treatment from you and all others. They expect things to happen according to their wishes and expect total compliance from their spouse and child at all times.IDEALIZED FANTASY. A NPD is preoccupied with fantasy, success, intelligence, power and obsessed with ideas about “perfect” love, beauty. Although a NPD was most likely put their object of their love on a pedestal during courtship, you will have had to disappoint him at some point and then you become worthless and possibly discarded. There is very little room in between these two states of being.EXCESSIVE NEED FOR ADMIRATION. An excessive desire or need for admiration from others. Admiration and praise act like a drug that they crave and they will go to extreme lengths to get it.JEALOUSY of others and thinks others are jealous of them. They are envious of other people’s accomplishments and may even get enraged at hearing about the successes of others.EXPLOIT OTHERS. A NPD exploits others and is willing to exploit others for their own benefit. They are envious of others and literally think they are better than everyone.LYING. Many NPD are pathological liars. They will try and tangle you up and manipulate you into their convoluted web of lies, deceit and half-truths. Their highly selective memory will filter out the truth. They will blame you and not take responsibility-for anything. They will lie about everything in an attempt to justify their behavior or maintain their inflated ego. If you question their version of the truth, they may get enraged and lash out in anger or come up with an even more absurd lie to explain it away or blame you!UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE. A NPD may exhibit episodes of violent behaviors. Their bouts of anger may include screaming; in your face; hurling obscenities or even physical violence. This is all done to control your behavior. May even force themselves on their spouse sexually even if they are not consenting. They will try to modify their spouse’s and children’s behavior according to their wishes by criticizing them.SUPERIORITY. They will put you down, throw you under the bus and criticize you all in order to feel superior to you. They are addicted to this need to feel superior so it happens quite frequently. A NPD looks down on others that are considered inferior, like housecleaner and Gardner.INABILITY TO RECOGNIZE NEEDS AND FEELINGS OF OTHERS. The needs and feelings of others is not important to a NPD. They are incapable of loving or caring for you or another person even their children because they lack emotional empathyENVIOUS OF OTHERS. The NPD is envious of others and believe others envy them.ARROGANT. Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious.CRITICISM. People with NPD have trouble handling anything and everything they perceive as criticism. They are very critical to their family but they cannot take criticisms even constructive criticisms. They will become impatient or angry when they do feel criticized vibes.DEPRESSED OR MOODY. Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of their perceived perfectionFEELINGS OF INSECURITY. Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation.

You stop knowing who you are and how you feel about things. Their worldview and opinions begin to overwrite your own. When you do things they don’t like, they lash out in underhanded ways. They find ways to drive your friends away from you by making fun of them or pointing out their faults or just saying what they don’t like about them. In my case, when that didn’t work, I was simply told that my friends were not welcome at our house. They buy you presents and then withhold them because you were “bad.” They begin to own the narrative of your life, telling stories about how they see you to everyone you know. They rewrite the story that you were at fault, both for the ways that they treated you as well as their feelings (e.g. you made me hurt you). Slowly you find yourself isolated and alone. You start to think you’re crazy, because you feel that way. Your world goes upside down. You attempt suicide, often repeatedly. You want out but you are afraid and don’t know how. You know that they escalate if you find an escape hatch.Gradually, you center yourself around your own meaning and purpose. Because an abusive relationship is, by definition, reducing your self-esteem to the common denominator, you need to fix this. You slowly rebuild your self-confidence in small ways until you gradually move past the point of your abilities when you met your ex began to chip away at you.Are you afraid of your partner? Do you feel like they might harm you? Or is your self-worth still contingent upon their view of you?Think of your life before the relationship. What made you happy? Were you able to depend on yourself to be your own barometer of self-worth? How were your relationships with friends and family different? How were your habits and areas of personal interest different?Twelve years ago I was in a very similar place and I wrote about it extensively in an effort to help others. When I was in your position, getting out and trying to shake out suicidal thoughts, my ex went as far as writing about our relationship and depicting it as something that I did to her, when we both consented to it and the situation was mutual. We hurt each other. Despite how much she continues to publicly attack me and my career, it was worth it to get out of the relationship. I have considered that statement extensively and don’t say it lightly. Otherwise, I’m not sure that I’d still be alive twelve years later.Perhaps first and foremost, you don’t have to let yourself continue to be treated this way in future relationships. This does not mean adopting recursive tendencies and maladaptive patterns to maintain power and control as those cannot help you and can only harm others. No one should be treated this way and unless it changes, your self-esteem will decline to the point where you have a hard time taking care of yourself. I can tell you that from experience.Create some space between you two so you don’t fall into old patterns. Figure out who you can rely upon to develop financial independence and a roof over your head. Sever the ties of dependence and co-dependence all at once. Your partner will likely shift from angry to pleading to pathetic to threatening self-injury so be prepared for this chain of events. Do not respond to threats, even if you are worried about their well-being. Build a support system as that is absolutely essential for recovery.It was scary and traumatic but I still had supportive people in my life and without them I’m sure that I would be dead in a ditch.It gets better. It really does. I wish I had someone to tell me that then. But even when I was homeless immediately afterwards I was so much freer and happier that it transformed me overnight.Good luck!

Before I answer this question, let me make it clear that I am not here to argue opinions on what counts as transphobia (ONLY the Trans community can tell us that) nor am I here to engage in the tired argument of biological sex vs gender. Science has PROVEN they are two different things and History has PROVEN that a seperation of the two is NOT a new concept thought up by “snowflake millenials”. You are entitled to your own opinion about these things, but I refuse to argue facts.Luckily for me, I have been asked this question a few times lately. Here’s what I said:Firstly, please read this article because I don’t have the desire in my heart to come up with my own explanation about JKR’s latest nonsense when others have already done it (friendly joking) J.K. Rowling facing backlash after controversial comments about transgender peopleNow, here is my more in-depth explanation about why what JKR said is at best controversial and at worst bigoted. The answer I am about to give is based on science, and NOT my opinion, so please bear that in mind. The article said “people who menstruate” because it is NOT only cis-women (i.e. people that were born biologically female and who also identify that way as far as their gender) that have periods (in fact, many cis-women don’t and/or have never had periods). People of other genders, because there absolutely more than 2 genders (again, that is science and NOT just my opinion), can mentruate too. Trans men can have periods, gender fluid/non-binary people can have them and so can intersex individuals. The article JKR commented on was being inclusive by saying “people” rather than just women. JKR was being insensitive and ignorant by implying that only women menstruate and decent people are calling her out for it. But people may have been willing to let this slide except that she has made transphobic comments in the past. Her most recent comments are obviously an extension of her rather prejudiced views. Here’s a few examples:“In 2018, she liked a transphobic tweet accusing trans women of being “men in dresses””“In June 2019, she straight-up followed a virulently transphobic British TERF on social media” (look up TERF, I lack the desire to try and explain it *joking*… but seriously, look it up).A tweet in December 2019: “Dress however you please. Call yourself whatever you like. Sleep with any consenting adult who’ll have you. Live your best life in peace and security. But force women out of their jobs for stating that sex is real?” (This was written in support of a violently transphobic woman)JKR is an otherwise intelligent woman, so there is no way these are “mistakes”. She clearly thinks biological sex and gender are the same thing and that the rights of trans women SOMEHOW impinge on hers, which simply isn’t true. It’s sad. I used to really admire JKR as a person and not just an author. But not anymore.