How To Lose Your Platonic Soulmate - The Cut: Fill & Download for Free

Initial 2 years:With a Soulmate, it will be smooth sailing - you get to know each other and love the other with time. You spend a LOT of time together and communicating. If there is conflict/heartbreak - it will be of ‘normal’ nature (depression, cut-off period, minor disconnection). Issues are resolved through communication (no ghosting). Once, you break-up - you could still remain “friends” - being of emotional and spiritual support to the other in some sort. The nature of your relationship could change at a later time (from friends to lovers or vice-versa). It is easy for you to find a turn-around to still be in contact IF you have an obstacle for you to have a romantic relationship. I have been in a platonic relationship myself for 12 years without any problem. Although, I desired them… talking seasonally or at times chatting for 2–3 hours was enough to keep the ‘spark’ going. She never ran away, never ghosted me. She was often the one writing to me and initiating communication. We did have fights Huge fights, but it was easily forgotten and forgiven within a couple of weeks… we’ll have a cool-off period and start over again.With a TF: it will be spent almost physically AWAY from them. Separation set in very early, as soon as Bubble phase (6 weeks- 3months) “pops”. You don’t need to court, text or communicate with them for long hours or remain in contact. You share identical vibration and already know them deeply on an intuitive level. The initial 1–2 years will be spent in separation, where they never leave your mind and Soul - but still, their presence is always felt. Ghosting (from the runner) will be prominent, while the other party chases like there is no tomorrow! Disconnection/separation is gut-wrenching and soul-breaking even the 2 of you haven't made any promises to each other, even due to the fact you’ve not been in any ‘official’ relationship.Awakening:With the TF: Separation, end of Bubble-phase or circumstances surrounding the initial meeting completely crumbles and you descend abruptly to reality with a hard knock. You Soul aches so much from the disconnection that you mentally enter a totally new dimension - you lose closeness to people around you and your normal life, including work etc. This triggers awakening within you. A certain sort of old remembrance, which has nothing to do with your current life. You can not get this person out of your mind no matter what you try. You start to receive flashes, downloads… childhood memories becoming vivid and sensation of incidents that you have no recollection of (likely from past-lives). You have a feeling that there exists nobody beyond them. They are the FINAL destination. As separation lingers, you begin Kundalini rising: where you chakras go on over-drive and where the internal make-up of your body undergoes an internal and gradual transformation.With the Soulmate: I have no clue - as I never had it with my Soulmate, except only after the final break-up, after which we parted ways forever. It was a 3-year long depression. I only moved forward after I met a ‘rebound.Affinity:With both the Soulmate and TF - there is superb affinity and telepathic understanding. Being in their presence is soothing for the soul and invigorating at the same time. Even if you see them after a long period, the connection is still there, it always feels like you are meeting them afresh. You have a deep unconditional love for them. Their smile is heavenly to you.However, with the TF - the intensity and magnetism are 5x more powerful and much much stronger. There is a sense of urgency with the Tf. With the Soulmate, it’s mellow - you will take your time to ride the wave. 3–5 years won’t bother you at all to move along the relationship. With the Tf, it’s ALL or NOTHING.With Soulmate, you’re highly compatible: you resolve your differences easily and make compromises. You overlook their faults. With the Tf - it’s very HARD to ignore aspects of them which triggers you. It makes you run for the Hills, it scares you and is completely alien to you: you feel vulnerable and sense you’re out of your comfort zone.This is due to the fact that you’re in some regards: total opposites. It throws you in for a loop. However, in the long run, these characteristics will help in your joint mission when you’re meant to work in tandem: where one partner is weak, the other is strong. When one is tired, the other picks up the slack. In fact, both of you complement each other.Our Twin mirrors many of the traits that we may lack and we unconsciously seek it order this balancing it out. In many ways, there is a feeling of being “meant to be together”. However, it’s not always an easy one: the differences can lead to frequent arguments about who is “right” and who is wrong. On the plus side, we also learn loads from the other that way.Purpose:The Soulmate comes into your life to nurture your soul, makes you discover yourself and make you fall in love with life and yourself. You mature in spirit while journeying through life alongside them. They bring out your ‘good’ side. They soothe your wound.Your TF comes to make you become the highest version of yourself. They unlock your innate potential. They activate dormant energy within yourself. They break you, trigger you and open your wounds even further. You will attain creative heights upon successfully healing and growing alongside your twin. You do the same to them —-> You come together like interlocking pieces of a puzzle. The Yin/Yang ☯Your merging isn’t exclusively you serve yourself (personal growth, bonding marriage, family), but to serve others and Humanity. This is a cosmic bond and hails from the Divine. It has been scripted Eons ago and only materialising just now, in front of your eyes.No Good, Start the Dance

Once upon a lunch time, my best friend yelled at me.I’ve been friends with her for two years and trust me; I don’t know what I’d do without her. (Although there are some instances when I really want to defenestrate her.)She’s seen my cry, and that’s not an easy view. She’s been through all of my rough days, and she bears with my rage and mood swings. At school, we’re just two halves of an idiot, really.Allow me to come back to my answer.“Ay, are you coming with us to the canteen, or do you have other plans?” I asked the said best friend because she usually skipped lunch.“Don’t irritate me, okay?” she yelled at me and flung to the washroom, tears streaming down her face.“I’m not spoken to like that!” I bellowed at the empty corridor.I was so pissed that I didn’t give a second thought to the fact that she’d burst into tears when she’d left. I muttered all throughout my way to the canteen, imitating how she talked to me.When I was still filling my plate, two of my other friends came (horribly) close to my ear and whispered, “Hey, Pri. Calm down, and forgive her, okay? She was just having a bad day, and is guilty for having yelled at you.”Turns out that she’d cried because she thought that I’d be so mad at her that I’d cut all my ties with her.For many people, I’m just a gust of wind that comes and goes in their lives. But for her? I actually mattered. She was afraid of losing me. She cherished my presence in her life, and didn’t want our friendship to end.I broke down when that was disclosed to me. I’d been such a jerk. Never had I ever thought that she loved me to such ends that she would cry her eyes out after screaming at me. All throughout our friendship, I’d been putting her emotions at bay while she was nurturing my emotions alongside our friendship.I’m a real asshole when I speak to her, but she sticks with me no matter my bad attitude. I’ve indeed found the one in my life, platonically speaking.

You came looking for gay Christians, right?I’m quickly going to state here that there is a “TL;DR” clause at the end of this answer, in case you find my life story too long or bothersome to read, but I would definitely recommend it if you have some time. The more you read about other gay Christians’ life stories, the less lonely you’ll feel :^)Well—it seems like you are where I was about a decade or two ago. You see, I’ve been in the Reformed Church for most of my life (I don’t know if that rings any bells for you, but as I understand it, they are much like the Southern Baptist Church in America; in any way, their teachings are really strict and conservative).So, having been brought up to hate homosexuality and all that it stands for (i.e. sexual perversion, immorality, and lunatic degeneracy), I actually spent my first years in high school in full-power denial about the fact that I was gay myself (even though on some level, I’d known before that). The years after I finally accepted the truth, which is that I was attracted to other guys, were years of strong internal battle, nights of kneeling on the floor and begging God to take it out of me, trying everything I could conceive to change the way I was on the inside.It took me years to realize that what I was doing was in vain, which must have meant that (A) God wanted me to be gay (something I couldn’t possibly be convinced of at that point) or (B) God does not exist. There was other stuff going on in my life at this point as well: my best friend has just killed himself and I was self-harming, often thinking about ending it all. I lost my faith and my will to live at the same time, and went through a whole emo-phase (to put it rather gently). After a while, I pulled myself together and bit by bit I started becoming more stable and a little while after that I regained good faith that God must exist, but I wasn’t ready to answer the question about homosexuality for myself yet. I still struggled with same-sex attractions at this point, of course, and the extent of my sin was mostly constrained to masturbation and watching porn (I figured that had I been straight, I would probably have kept my sexual desires in check with the use of porn in any way, which—by the way—is a really stupid thing to do in any way). I had also experimented with guys (you know, holding hands, kissing each other, making out, that type of thing), but it was purely constrained to “moments of weakness” as I’d explain to myself.I ushered in a new era: the era of acute obsessive crushes. I would get crushes on my friends, my cousins, celebrities, animations, drawings, thoughts, ideas, you name it. Looking back, I think this was just my brain urging me it still needed an answer on the whole gay thing, but I was resolute on not answering it because I didn’t want to face the choice I had to make. There was no part of me that could conceivably believe that God could have wanted me to be gay, and so I avoided the internal confrontation at all costs.Perhaps this is the point at which I’d like to answer your question:I was gay. I knew it. I felt it. I hated it. You could have given me any number of wishes and I’d have spent them all to rid myself of this insanity. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with myself, and I was lonelier than I ever thought, up until that point, was possible.In my last year of high school, I decided to go to my matric farewell (basically prom) with a lovely girl (I’ll call her Sally, for simplicity’s sake) as a “beard,” who was a little bit crazy about planning—and so, she insisted that we go for dancing lessons in preparation. I agreed, on the basic principle that I wanted the night to at least be nice and memorable for her. I was taught to dance by a hunk of a guy (whom I’ll call Lewis, for simplicity’s sake), who I’m pretty sure was gay as well. He would put his bearish hands in mine and tell me to hold him close and lead, sparking feelings inside of me I’d never felt before. I felt so hot and heavy, like I was going to swoon on the spot, and during these instructional intermissions, I’d completely forget why we were there in the first place and only be in the moment, with another man in my arms. Then, he’d tell me to do whatever I did with him to Sally, but the funny thing is: the body never lies. I’d stiffen up and hold her in the most awkward robotic pose you can think of, not knowing how to bend my knees, hold up my head properly, or place my feet. Then he’d show me again and I’d relax my body and do the movements properly, holding him close and tight. Try it again on Sally, and I’d freeze back to pure, unadulterated awkwardness. Save from the sexual things I’d later on get to explore with my hubby, this was probably the biggest sign/wake-up call I’ve had in my life telling me that I am irrefutably, undeniably, and immutably gay.Now, I won’t go into too much detail about the next part, but my mental health started going backwards really quickly from there on. I started splitting into two people: the one that I tried locking up on the inside (the one that got all the blame for being such a lunatic degenerate), and the one on the outside that couldn’t convincably show emotion well enough to function as a normal human being. The loneliness caused me to dissociate from time to time, increasingly so as time went on, completely losing touch of reality or things that happened in real life, replaced by dreams and fantasies about a different life, a different person, and sometimes, a different God.Then, for the first time since I had “found out” that I was gay, it had finally come to my parents’ attention that I was gay. Initially, I was sort of relieved, because this would mean that I could finally get some real advice on what I should do or how I could find some happiness in life. Consequently, my parents told me that for a homosexual to walk with God in life is indeed doable, and I shouldn’t feel excluded just because I have same-sex attractions.. great! All I had to was remain celibate for the rest of my life and quash any fantasy/dream/hope/idea/thought of spending my life “with another man” (knowing I could never in good conscience be in a relationship with a woman, read with another person) and realize that we, God’s children, are all sinners. It’s as simple as that.Some men sleep around at the office, others take what isn’t rightfully theirs, others look at other women, others still use the misfortune (for lack of better phrasing) of others for their own benefit. Rape, murder, theft, blasphemy, idolatry, witchcraft: they’re all terrible forms of the atrocity that is sin. Homosexuality is just another flavour of it—and all you have to do it is not act on it.That was the last time for about three months that my father and I spoke to each other (even though we saw each other every day and spend about 1.5 hours in car together daily, just me and him), and it was also the beginning of my mother trying to present the feminine side of life (with that I mean ladies from the Church) and set up dates with them, because “maybe I just needed some help with the ladies.” Little did she know my life before that had been filled with other ladies coming onto me, that I had to gently reject because I wasn’t attracted to them.[Bear with me—I know this is a long story. But it could save you some time on realizing certain things!]It started to dawn on me that while my parents were, in their own “sweet” way of trying to prevent me from going to Hell, I suppose, showing me what my life would have been like if I took the Scriptures “as-is” and accepted my fate as an eunuch. Case closed. I had read over the words in the Bible more than a couple of times at this point (I was convinced that the translation I was reading didn’t need cross-referencing, because it was the one the “sovereign” Reformed Church used), and it didn’t seem like there was much room for re-interpretation. At this point, the crushes I was getting on guys started to become obsessive; toxic, even. Dissociation started to become a problem, as I started to lose touch of distinguishing between dream and reality, and audio/visual/haptic hallucinations started to become a regular occurence during both. I’d been an academic top achiever up until this point, and the difficulty and sheer amount of subject matter pressurized the situation so much that I was essentially back to self-harming and contemplating suicide.And then, I snapped out of it. I stopped taking Concerta and my grades plummeted, I failed a subject, I lost a bunch of stuff, and it was virtually impossible from this point onward to effectively focus. I went for help: on campus, there was a psychiatric and career counseling department that offers therapy for struggling students. It was free, so I took it. I went every week and it helped me, not because it made me understand what was going on with me, but because I finally had someone to talk to, to at least hear my problems. I asked God for forgiveness, to please help me while I figure out who I want to be and where I want to go.Sometimes, and this is one of those times, God answers in a really direct way: I met a friend (for simplicity’s sake, I’ll call her Fran). Fran had lost her Mom at the hand of suicide a while back, and she was going through a really tough time herself. She was a full-blown atheist at the time, one of the kindest people you’ll ever meet. (For some context: later on in life she had explained to me that she’d had a crush on me when we saw each other in class, but that she never thought I’d go for her.) We hit it off quickly and before we knew it, we were buddies for life. Best friends forever. My family was rejoiced because I finally met a girl that I seemed to hit it off really well with. I guess for a while I, too, thought that was going to be my future: to ask Fran if she’d be interested in spending her life with me, as buddies, so that I could at least have the friendship part of companionship. Reflecting on it now, I don’t think we would have worked very well as a couple—our dynamic as friends fits perfectly well. She taught me to own up your role in life and see things for what they are. She, an atheist (at the time), explained carefully to me that if I wanted to really believe in God, I must accept the fact that God created me the way that I am. Gay and all. And so, I started slowly spending less and less time at my parents’ house and more time at hers, until we finally moved in together. The Church was thunderstruck, because I was now living together with another woman without having married her first, but I explained very carefully to them that there was nothing going on there and that we were essentially just “college roommates.” Her gran was also living there at the time, so that made things a lot easier to explain.Now, Fran had another crush during her university career, on a guy, who (for simplicity’s sake) I’ll call Jake. On one fateful Halloween party that Fran and I had more or less organized, the plan was as follows: I was to use my “guy-influence” to be her wingman and try to get them to hit it off, and I did so to the best of my ability. The only problem was, there was no romantic spark between them—whatsoever—and so, Fran got herself drunk. “Weeping on the floor, throwing tantrums, and running around for dear life” drunk. The night ended up in me trying to keep an eye on a passed out Fran, trying to have a conversation with Jake (because incidentally, the three of us ended up spending a lot of time together that evening), and we shared among ourselves that we are gay (although he already knew before the party that I was gay and I already had had a suspicion about him.) I’m going to save some time on the story and tell the reader that Jake is now, as I write this answer, my hubby.[Now we’re getting to the part that is meant to make you see!]Jake and I hit it off really well, too, and within about a month of us knowing each other, I’d made up my mind that I’d ask God for forgiveness, and asked Jake if he wanted to try out anal sex together. Years of curiosity (and having been repeatedly raped for a long period of time in primary school, but that’s a whole different story altogether) had driven me to the point where I felt I needed to do this, and Jake was a kind, sweet, caring guy, so we went for it. Soon after that, we became “exclusive friends with benefits.” In March, five months later, I asked him to be my boyfriend. I wasn’t quite sure how I was meant to justify this with God, but I was so smitten that the dilemma sort of went to the back of my mind.In (just under) three years time, Jake and I were in a tight, covenantal relationship that neither of us was going to give up easily. I still hadn’t figured out how to level this with God—in the meantime, I had explained to my parents that Jake was my platonic soulmate and that we co-habitated because he was also a Christian struggling with homosexuality, and everyone was (kind of) content about it all. The same explanation was given to the Church, so that my reputation might have stayed intact. I tried to convince myself that had I not been with Jake, I would have still been on a track of pornography and masturbation, and how is having sex with another guy really more sinful than watching other guys having sex and pleasuring myself. So at least I wasn’t sinning more than if I hadn’t been in a relationship with Jake.Then I got elected as a deacon in the Reformed Church, and wanting to answer God’s call to ministry, I said yes. I got sworn in as a deacon, once again reaffirming the Reformed Church confessions, even though I was far from clear or even agreeing on all confessions of the Reformed Church. At this point, I’d wear my “bear chain” and jockstraps to service, to try and encapsulate my true self underneath the outer mask, the fancy Church clothes, the fake but convincing smile, and the (almost) genuine attention I’d give parishioners.That’s when I found out about gay-affirming Christianity. Before, I’d always thought it was just a group of people that didn’t feel like branding themselves as degenerate perverts, and instead just turned a blind eye on the Scriptures out of laziness or wanting to have it all. But I was wrong. And (almost) three years of being together with Jake had spawned questions of my own, in my own mind:If the ex-gay ministries are right about reparative therapy and childhood trauma was what caused me to become gay, why was I to blame for all this? I was around 6–7yo at the time—how was I meant to defend myself? What did I do wrong?If God created me straight and I somehow turned gay for some other reason at some point, why didn’t He help me all those years back when I’d go on my knees and showed repentance for my filthy being, trying to pray the gay away with every fibre in my heart? Or, on the other hand, if I was pre-destined for Hell, why should I care at all?If God created me gay and in His image, why did I have to go through years of self-loathing and believing my life was a lie if I was meant to project His image like a proud Christian? If I was the exception that wasn’t created in God’s image, how should I believe I’m His creation at all?If God has a plan for us, why did He introduce me to Jake if He knew it would tempt me to live a “sinful lifestyle?” The Bible is very clear about the fact that God does not tempt us, because temptation gives birth to sin and God hates sin. Trial and tribulation is another thing, but keeping away from Jake would never be much like trial as much as it is like temptation.If what I felt for Jake wasn’t true love, then how else was I ever meant to believe in anything else? And if it was true love, then how was I meant to discard it like some ungrateful freak?Why have I never felt like I, myself, as a person, belonged in the Church, like others did, even though the Church is the bride of Christ and I’m meant to be a Christian?If being with Jake made me a happier person that found it more easy to be kind, patient, generous, loving, etc. around others, then why should it be the right choice to turn away from him and return to the deep depths of depression, fake smiles, and lying to smooth over the intricacies of homosexuality?Why does it feel like I have to lie, deny, twist, change, corrupt, and mutilate my inner being, the pearl in God’s hand, in order to be a part of His Church?What does it actually mean to practise homosexuality? Is it having anal sex with my partner? Does oral sex count? Masturbation, thinking about him? Making out? Kissing him on the cheek? Hugging him, from behind or the front? Holding his hand? Thinking about him? Just liking him as a person?I could list more questions that came up, but it was the last one that set me off on a path to explore alternative interpretations of what is commonly accepted as the conventional interpretation. “The sun orbits around the Earth” type of interpretation, if you will. After all.. that is what it says in the Bible, isn’t it?In the spirit of evaluating re-interpretations of the famous Bible texts infamously “written to condemn homosexuality as a whole,” (Pharisees beware!) I am not going to extend my answer to incorporate this as well. Others have done it before me—much better than I ever could, mind you—and the information to think about is books’ worth, so I’m going to just put the three first books that I read that competely changed around how I believed at the end of my answer.I’ve since come to believe that there is no way to figure out whether the gay-affirming contemporary interpretation (covenantal relationships between two members of the same-sex are OK in principle) or the traditional interpretation (practising homosexuality is a sin) is the “right” interpretation. But I’ve figured out that it doesn’t matter. There is arguably enough matter in the Bible, which, taking a very simplistic view at what is stated, convinces me that I am on the right path (a lot of which were Jesus’ own teachings, mind you).So, about five months after accepting the ministry as a deacon, I cut ties with the Reformed Church. We went to the reverend, to explain the situation and to formally announce my new life as a heretic. I went to my parents and told them Jake was the man of my dreams, the man that I wanted to one day marry. We went to his parents, told them we wanted to get married.We approached the Presbyterian Church, who has accepted us as fully worthy members of their congregation, and the rest, as they say, is history.To wrap up the story, I’ll add that Fran is a born-again Christian now, who has a strong relationship with God, and her partner, with whom she is in a long-term relationship as well. Similarly, Jake and I are going strong, both in our relationship and our relationships with God. The three of us have stayed BFF’s through it all, and as far as that story goes, it all “ended” happily ever after.TL;DR:I realize that this is a long answer and if you need a quick synopsis, I’ll just say it is perfectly OK to be gay and a Christian. All you need is some faith and some gay in your life. If you want to read some accounts of contemporary interpretations of the Bible, please see the following books:Brown, James V. Bible, Gender, Sexuality: Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships. William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company. 2013.Vines, Matthew. God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships. Convergent Books. 2014.Lee, Justin. Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs-Christians Debate. Jericho Books. 2013.I hope this answer gives you some hope and clarity.It’s not easy to be a gay Christian. Both sides will try to convince you that you should get rid of the other side, and that will not go away until you start to realize that there is absolute beauty in either side. But once you start doing that, you will find transformation from within. You will find the person you need to be, the calling that God gives you, the life and path He has showed you, and the salvation that Jesus paid so dearly for on the cross.Strength and honour <3