Licking County Domestic Court: Fill & Download for Free

First, take a seat. Remove all sharp objects from immediate area. Breathe in/breathe out…… in with the good and out with the bad. It took 10 hours to unfold, but I can tell you the exact minute, hour, date that my marriage ended.The morning of Aug 12th, 2010 was the start to the best day of my life. To clarify, this is in terms of personal worth, growth, success, accomplishment and the proof to my self that hard work and doing good in all things has its rewards. I was a work in progress still, but I had finally turned my potential into reality. I had managed to steadily do better in life and create a comfortable, safe, stable world for my family for the longest period in my adult life. I gave it my best shot at the “American Dream” and I was achieving it and this day was the last piece of that puzzle. I had become highly respected, looked to for guidance, trusted in my decisions, a team leader that was part of a team and not a commander over his minions.This day I being promoted. Not by seeking out a higher position, but being tapped by the top management to take the place of my former supervisor of several years whom was being forced to retire due to medical difficulties from a kidney transplant. This was my dream job. I had worked in that crew for 3 years and absolutely loved and respected everyone in that area. I had left that area to supervise a smaller area but with the same job functions. We were the maintenance millwright crew at a sizable industrial complex owned by the 3rd largest chemical manufacturer in the world. And two of the biggest chiefs had come to me to ask me to take the position of running the maintenance crew for half of the plant. Wow! 6 years before that I had hired in to a 5 day temporary shut down scheduled repair job in one of the units. Someone saw my pride in craftsmanship and I was asked to stay. Over time, dedication paved the way to this day. I was so proud. Thats the best I had ever felt about myself.I was nine when Star Wars premiered. I was 10 when Metallica put out Kill ’em All. MTv went live when I was 12 and Jeff Spicoli was the role model for the surfer skater metal head crowd I was a part of. It was a badass time to be growing up. But the good times feel and a party all the time attitude of the time pushed a lot of drugs in front of a kid with self worth issues. A major portion of my early adulthood was spent adventuring and exploring every opportunity to see the country and live like there was no tomorrow and experiencing everything under the sun and every high available.Then, one day after being gone on an adventure for a year, my friend and his family and I went for pizza to celebrate my return home. Thats when I saw her. And like a bell going off, I knew immediately I was going to marry her. Man, she was so damn good looking. I knew her from our circle of friends. We had a rock band in the late 80’s early 90’s that had become known in the scene. Got to meet all kinds of people, and had met her one night a decade earlier at a random party.Married her, started raising her 4 year old son as best as I could, eventually had two of our own. She was like the most comfortable friend ever who let me play with her stuff, lol. And we had the same views on the world. She smoked daily, which I didn't care either way. I didn't like weed all that much as the relaxed hazy mind wasn't my thing. But I did like energy….lots of energy.This led to my first ever slide into the other side. I didn't even see it happening, but got in with a shady group of people and lost sight of my world, replaced with an alter existence of staying up and running 90mph. So she left me. I worked on making their home a good home for my kids while I tried to wrestle my life back in order. I couldn't and well, it took an involuntary vacation handed down by the court system to clear me up long enough to grasp reality again. And thats when I decided to dedicate my life to trying to accomplish something in life, to try to succeed. I went to college for a year and a half, then took a semester off to work and fatten up my bank account for the next school year. Thats when I found the temporary 5 day job. After I was there for a couple years, *poof* my wife and I reconciled and worked out the anger and problems and they came back to me.Now I could handle it all. I had confidence, a great job I loved, and we cleaned up our credit and after my first promotion to supervise the small crew, we bought a house. And a new Jeep Wrangler. And I had already bought a new car, prior to her coming back. Life was great. We were having social dinner parties with friends from everywhere. Had money in the bank. I had a chunky little 401K plan that was growing. I loved my kids!!!! They were the best part of it all!!!Supervision was a whole new circle of people. I now saw upper management and the daily worker. I was in on meetings and in the field swinging a hammer. I was excelling at coordinating and delegating and all without yelling or insulting or power struggles. My crew ran smooth. I had their backs 100% and they had mine. But the management side was odd. I saw into the personalities of people who actually had snap-fingers power and pushed around multi million dollar figures in budget meetings like petty cash accounts. And the dark side of these people was much darker. It had to be hidden.I was able to keep myself out of their dirty little political games and their nose burning candies, mostly. Remember, my wife smokes. And I usually found it for her when she needed some. Gateway back into that world on the other side. And I admit, I was headed that way if I didn't watch it. But I was aware and I was keeping my snap. Recreationally my wife and I might split some X pill randomly come across by opportunity, if we had the kids and house under control. Or hold on to it for some later special occasion. This is where the bad nuclear annihilation and genocide of my world starts. Out of sheer coincidence I helped someone out with gas money and diapers and was handed a few of these X-pills as a thanks, which I gave to my wife to put up. No biggie. No alarms. No tornado alerts. I was really hanging in there.I know, this is a long read. But you have to understand at least the general lead up to this day. I was getting promoted! But at home, it wasn't going so well. I was working a lot because of a little financial hiccup we hit but we were doing ok. She had not renewed the profile paperwork for the disability check she was receiving for my son, who is autistic, that she had qualified for while w were split those 3 years. She was going to have to move out, lie about me living there, or just give up that money because of my earnings. I don't lie to the IRS or Government Agencies. They do bad things to evaders. And I told her I wouldn't let her lie about our finances and living arrangements. She was going to have to go get a job for a little while.We started fighting a lot. Over little things. Then she starts hinting that maybe we are in financial trouble because I’m using again. Truthfully, I had slipped up a couple times recently. But the cost of the stuff was chump change, plus I recognized and refocused myself. Now we are at a week before the big promotion. The bank account was starting to fatten back up. Greener pastures on the horizon, right? Sigh of relief coming soon.The weekend before promotion week comes and a virus knocks out our main computers motherboard and hard drive. Im a computer nerd at heart and techie. Always build my own computer, upgrade it and wipe/reinstall in last resort case. I replaced the drive and board and was moving on to the reinstall of windows. Then, that little goddam party monkey climbs on my back and starts telling me i look tired. I need energy. Why don't I go take a little portion of those xpillsWe stashed away, not enough to start really rolling, just to stay up. Goddam monkey talks really nice and it seems innocent enough so i take a half one and boom i’m up, installing Windows 10 and Apps. Its now Saturday morning and i distractedly forget to tell her I grabbed a pill and she comments about me being up all night. So I tell her about the half an X pill I took. And we move straight to guilty verdict and the sentencing phase of my trial. Which is being delivered by screaming. I tried, no guys, I really tried to stay calm, cuz I had gotten us here. and I endured it…..all day, steadily trying to reassure her it was just the pill and I wasnt going off the deep end.Sunday morning, I am up first. Quiet. No yelling. Ahhhhhh….And I hear her rustling around in the kitchen. Then goes back to the rear of the house. Two minutes later she comes flying into the garage, wild eyed, screaming she caught me. She found some drugs on the kids bathroom counter top that I forgot to clean off. Complete. Psycho. Mode. She tells me she tasted it and it was the heavy stuff. I don't know what the hell she licked off the kids bathroom counter, but it sure wasnt what she was screaming it was. I had already packed up the car for our days adventure to the country to a brother in laws for frolicking and merriment and fire charred delicacies. I load the kids while the screaming is still going strong. She informs me she isn't going anywhere with me. And off we go. Quickly.At this point, I have to inform you that I am armed. We had a home protection weapon that stayed trigger locked in a locked case in our closet at the top. I dislike guns. I just don't like being around them. I can fire many types and have but I don't enjoy them. This one was a .40cal S&W Sig Sauer. Nickle plated. Nice. I guess. But the brother in law had told me to bring it and we would fire it out at the back pond. So I packed it the way the CHL people say to transport. Under the passenger seat, clip separate, case locked, trigger guard installed and the slide locked open. Bullets separate in the rear of the car. Safe.And we frolicked. Never fired the guns. Never got it out. Had a great time. He is a drummer and knew a lot of the same music I knew so we jammed out some good tunes for the kids and eventually headed home.As soon I my door opened, she was right there. Told the kids to go inside, and started screaming again as I unloaded the car. I really tried to block it. I tried breathing exercises. I tried doing multiplication in my head. I really really tried to not…….. She wouldn't stop. Finally, I just calmly told her I had enough and to shut up, two days of this was enough. Volume knob went up a notch along with the pitch of her voice. All I said was to shut up. And she pushed me and yelled what was I going to do……slow motion begins, and I can see the heads up display on my rage gear turn on and a cross hairs appears on her forehead as my fist draws back……. and return to reality and I lower my fist and told her I wasn't going to let her do this to me. And I walked out and down the street. I could hear her screaming, “You were going to hit me!!!!”…..nah, that would have been the easy way out. And I don't do the easy way. So I slip back home later and sleep on the couch.Back to work on Monday. The general foreman and Superintendent meet with me and my old Supervisor’s retirement party is going to be Thursday afternoon and they will announce that I am rolling over to that crew to take his place then, starting the next Monday morning. My crew stays busy all week so it flys by…..but at night….not so much.I had decided. This was over. I didn't feel the way I had felt about her. I wasn't happy. I wanted out but I wanted to help her get set up. No messy breakup. I would help her out as much as I could. An apartment not too far away and I will see the kids as much as I am allowed. Just no fighting. No yelling. No more. NO. MORE. So, when I went home from work, I had promised myself to not fight. No matter what. I would stop at the store and get me a cold one. Sit on the couch with the kids and watch tv then crash after they went to bed. She tried so hard to get me to boil. But I didn't. Til Wednesday night.I got home Wednesday night and she was sitting on a barstool directly in front of the door from the garage so I had to pass right in front of her to come in. Same drill, cold one in hand and straight to the couch. Nope. She says I have to go grocery shopping. I told her she could go. She had the grocery money. She said I had to go and to pay. I told her no, that was her responsibility. I paid all the bills, mortgage, phones, jeep note AND CHILD SUPPORT TO HER. She had to pay groceries, Jeep insurance and emergency supplies. Thats it. Until my sons checks quit coming she was bringing in $500 from him and $700 a month from me for Child Support. The whole time we had been living together again. She said that I must not love my kids then if I wont buy them food. (Oh the stab of the knife into the soft tissue with little remarks like that) I grabbed the list she had conveniently laid on the bar and left. Hmmm, the bar was cleaned off with just the list and her phone she had laid down there when I walked in. Shoulda seen that.I went to the grocery store and got it all and returned home. On the way home I was pondering how to ask her if she was still going with me on Friday to a thing we had planned attending in Dallas. I unloaded all the bags on to my arms for just one load in and walked towards the garage door. Blinds were open and I saw her get up and walk away as I approached the door with my burden of bags. I managed to get a hand on the knob. Locked. Grrrrrrrr. I knocked with a knuckle. Normally. I look in and I can see her, standing just to the left of the archway to the living room, 7 feet away. I tap again a little harder with my free knuckle. Not a flinch. Grrrrrrr. I wait. GRRRRRRRRR…….ok FUCKING GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Now I am pissed. I kick the door a few times with the toe of my shoe. I know she heard that and she unlocks the door. Doesn't open it and backs away. I free my two fingers again to grab the knob and open it and a bag breaks, jar falls, spaghetti sauce splashes everywhere and I am primed. This ends. Now. No. More.I admit, I have no idea what I said. I saw red. But I said it very low and only where she could hear it. Something about “if you want to play f’in games we can play f’in games. You going to Dallas tomorrow with me? “ She informed me she would never go anywhere with me in that car and tried to run off. As I said, I had enough. This was going to stop. So I blocked her from her insult and run move. And then I noticed she had her phone in hand. Screen weirdly pointed at me. Whatever, dont care. I am not doing this. No. I go to the couch. I wanna get to the good part. I want to get to the party the next day. So I crash on the couchI’m up at 5:30am, shower and dress and I am out the door!!!!Not a word, never saw her. And I head to work.The morning goes slowly. tick toc. Its Thursday and that means payday. So after getting the guys lined out on the assignments, I make my way in my truck through the plant to the parking area inside the fence up front for the Administration Building. I badge through the Security gate and walk to the building and badge in to the building and go down the hallway to our payroll office.Robin was our payroll admin. Known her for years. She was really cute. Always bubbly and a lot of fun to talk to. So I sit there for a few minutes joking with her and her clerk Jonna and get my crews packet of checks, verify them, sign for them and head back to the gate to badge back in to the plant perimeter. Its important to know that this facility is a MARSEC facility under the protection of the US Coast Guard and Homeland Security due to our docks on the water. We all were processed through a two week long Homeland Security and DOJ background check to receive our TWIC cards to badge in to the plant. These are the same cards the TWA officers at the airports have to have. So I badge back in and hop in the truck and go hand out checks. I like doing that. That moment is the only reason we are in this plant. For that piece of paper. I joke with the guys and remind them about Murphy’s retirement party that afternoon and I tell my Welder Homero to hop in the truck, that I had a job to go get his safety input on for the next week. We pull out and head the same direction I just came from and my radio crackles my name. Its payroll,and Robin says she needs to see me back up there. I answer back that I will head up there but I wanted to show Homero the job real quick. Robin says I need to come there now. 10–4.Hunh. Ever have that sinking feeling? My welder is looking at me and says “What did you do?” “Nothing” I replied. Homero says, “No, you did something, because theres going to be cops there when we get to the parking area. Thats what they do when they come here looking for someone with a warrant.” “Well, I don't have any warrants and I haven't done anything.” I say, and then we round the corner and man, oh, man that was a situation in progress going on at the gate and other side of the fence by the parking lot. Heres what I saw as Homero says “What did you do Boss? What did you do? Ill take the truck back to the shop. If they let you go, call me on the radio and Ill come back to pick you up.”I didn't reply. There was, from right to left, in the front parking lot of the plant outside the Administration Office Building: County Sheriff Car, County Sheriff Car, County Sheriff Car, State Trooper SUV,State Trooper SUV, State Trooper SUV, Full Ladder FireTruck ( the long one) EMT Fire Rescue Truck, 4 plant security trucks and a Homeland Security Truck. I get out of the truck and badge through the gate and walk towards the building entrance and the door swings open and the Plant Manager is standing there and says, “Come on in, Brent.” and I do. He says to not worry, theres some people that want to talk to m, and leads down the hallway I had just been in 30 minutes earlier, past Robins office to the next door. This office is Brenda’s. She is head of Plant Security. He reaches down and turns the knob and says they are in there.Small Office. There are 15 people in this 10X12 office all along the walls. 3 Sheriffs, 3 State Troopers, Homeland Security Liaison, Plant Manager, our Contractor Plant Manager, 4 Plant Security, the Plant Fire Chief and US Coast Guard Liaison. And me in the middle. I smile and slowly make a spin looking at every one of them in the eye and say, “ So, What is this about?” One of the State Troopers takes the lead and says that they needed to ask me some questions, and I replied, “Sure, Go ahead.”“Do you have a gun on you?” “No”“Do you have a gun in the plant?” “No”*pause* Ever have that sinking feeling? After question one, I feel a little wobbly. What is this about a gun? They are mistaking me for someone else. After question 2 I am almost nauseous as the recording from Sunday Night replays at the part when I pull up with the kids after the fun day in the country. As soon as my door opens she starts yelling. I start unpacking and taking in to the garage. She follows back n forth. It get worse and I tell her to shut up………..Oh No…. what did I miss? Oh NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!3. “ Do you have a gun in your car?” Oh God Oh God “Yes”4. “ May we see it?” “Sure, no problem.”At this point I am reeling and had to be a really bad shade of green. I didn't remember to take the gun out of the car and had been riding around with it for 4 days.The room visibly relaxed and the lead Trooper says, “We think we know whats going on here. Have you been fighting with your wife?” I say “Yes, but only verbal and I had been refusing to argue the last few days” They all looked at each other and nodded. Trooper says,” Thats what we thought, Brent. This morning the plant received a call and the City Police received a second call anonymously reporting that you had beaten your wife, were in the plant high on crystal meth and violent with a gun. The City Police are at your residence right now doing a wellness checkup on your family since it is classified as a Domestic Violence Call. Once we clear the gun and she is cleared, we will let you go and our job is done.Our head of Safety come jogging up with a bottle in hand. “I just got permission to do a for cause UA on him from HQ.” Trooper says to me, “You need to go?” and I tell him I could probably go right then. So I fill the bottle, and he tests it with the instant strip and I am clean of course. He takes the result strip out to the officers and they all look and nod and the lead trooper motions to one of the Trooper Trucks.He opens the rear and motions me to get in. We have to ride about a 1/2 mile down the road to where our parking lot is and I guide the Trooper to my car. He lets me out and we stand there looking at each other and he finally asks if I am going to unlock it. I tell him no but you can and hand him my keys. All 6 officers gather around the car, and one unlocks and opens my passenger door and asks me where it is. I tell him it is under the passenger seat like it should be. He reaches in and extracts the locked blue case and they look at it and ask me to open it. i tell them they can and its the very small key on my keyring. He unlocks it and picks up my pretty shiny handgun all locked open and trigger guard lock in place. I could see them oooohing and ahhhhing over it. The trooper replaces it in the case, locks the case back and puts it under the seat and locks and shuts the door. He walks over to me and hands me the keys and turns to the Plant Manager and our Safety man and says “We are done here, theres nothing wrong” and 5 of the officers get in their vehicles and leave. Its just one officer and us standing in the dirt parking lot. The officer says,”Do you mind if I use that office to write my report? ‘ “ Sure. “……..At this point the Safety man says I have to go to his office to sign the chain of custody papers for the UA I took so it can go to the lab for entry into the system. We g, and on the way he tells me they were wrong, there were three phone calls made. The first went to payroll. Specifically to a number with an answering machine that was dedicated to employee absentee call ins which sits on the payroll clerks desk. *more on that at another time* The second went to him when the caller did not get the reaction they desired. He answered and listened to the callers story which was the same as what the officer had quoted except the safety man tried to keep the caller on the line. As part of his job he had a subscription to a background check site that also had a phone number lookup app. He asked the caller to hold a second and he proceeded to trace the number of the caller but the caller hung up. He handed me a folded paper and said that the official info for that number was on that paper and i should see whose name it was registered under. He told me to walk back over to the Admin Building to talk to the Plant Manager to see what to do next.Let me tell you, that was a long walk. As I walked, I thought, no one knew I had that gun in the car. Hell, I didn't even remember i had it. And why did they call and say I had beaten my wife that morning? I hadn't even seen her at all that morning. And what was the plant manager going to say? Was I going to be fired?As I approached the building the door opened and he stepped out. He said, “ This was a very unfortunate and unnecessary incident. Although we, the contractor at this plant, have a very strict no gun policy here, the fact that it was secured properly in a private vehicle outside the fenced perimeter gives us the leeway to overlook what happened here today. Take the rest of the day off with pay, and come see him Monday morning to sort it out but right now too many people had seen the situation and to please get that fucking gun and that car off his property. You are not in any trouble. See you Monday” And he went back in the building.Confused isnt even close to what I felt at that moment as I started walking toward the car. At least I wasn't fired! I heard my name called, and I turned around toward the building and there was the Plant Manager Waving me back. “I need you to come here a minute.” “what the hell do you want now?” I said. I walked up to him and he said come inside. Once the door shut behind me, he turned to me and said,”Man, Brent, you must have really pissed her off. “ “Why do you say that?” “Well, it seems you have priors.”He said. “You knew That when you hired me, it was part of my background check.”“Brent, the officer here called your house to inform them of your release with no charges, as is procedure for a domestic violence case. They informed your wife and she said they couldn't release you, you had prior felonies and that makes this a felony. He is on his way back to pick you up. And, I truly am sorry, but we need to do some paperwork before he gets here. “He was holding my termination papers.I was arrested, given a $15000 bond. She cleaned out the house of valuables and put a TRO on me, took my kids and the brand new jeep. Lawyer for the gun charge was $17000. Lawyer for the divorce was $9000. Payoff on the Jeep was $7000Thats when I knew my marriage was over.And then it got worse. Way worse.Sorry for the extremely long post but it was necessary to understand fully what I lost that day. Thank you for reading it. God bless and may you never meet a person like this.

First, take a seat. Remove all sharp objects from immediate area. Breathe in/breathe out…… in with the good and out with the bad. It took 10 hours to unfold, but I can tell you the exact minute, hour, date that my marriage ended.The morning of Aug 12th, 2010 was the start to the best day of my life. To clarify, this is in terms of personal worth, growth, success, accomplishment and the proof to my self that hard work and doing good in all things has its rewards. I was a work in progress still, but I had finally turned my potential into reality. I had managed to steadily do better in life and create a comfortable, safe, stable world for my family for the longest period in my adult life. I gave it my best shot at the “American Dream” and I was achieving it and this day was the last piece of that puzzle. I had become highly respected, looked to for guidance, trusted in my decisions, a team leader that was part of a team and not a commander over his minions.This day I being promoted. Not by seeking out a higher position, but being tapped by the top management to take the place of my former supervisor of several years whom was being forced to retire due to medical difficulties from a kidney transplant. This was my dream job. I had worked in that crew for 3 years and absolutely loved and respected everyone in that area. I had left that area to supervise a smaller area but with the same job functions. We were the maintenance millwright crew at a sizable industrial complex owned by the 3rd largest chemical manufacturer in the world. And two of the biggest chiefs had come to me to ask me to take the position of running the maintenance crew for half of the plant. Wow! 6 years before that I had hired in to a 5 day temporary shut down scheduled repair job in one of the units. Someone saw my pride in craftsmanship and I was asked to stay. Over time, dedication paved the way to this day. I was so proud. Thats the best I had ever felt about myself.I was nine when Star Wars premiered. I was 10 when Metallica put out Kill ’em All. MTv went live when I was 12 and Jeff Spicoli was the role model for the surfer skater metal head crowd I was a part of. It was a badass time to be growing up. But the good times feel and a party all the time attitude of the time pushed a lot of drugs in front of a kid with self worth issues. A major portion of my early adulthood was spent adventuring and exploring every opportunity to see the country and live like there was no tomorrow and experiencing everything under the sun and every high available.Then, one day after being gone on an adventure for a year, my friend and his family and I went for pizza to celebrate my return home. Thats when I saw her. And like a bell going off, I knew immediately I was going to marry her. Man, she was so damn good looking. I knew her from our circle of friends. We had a rock band in the late 80’s early 90’s that had become known in the scene. Got to meet all kinds of people, and had met her one night a decade earlier at a random party.Married her, started raising her 4 year old son as best as I could, eventually had two of our own. She was like the most comfortable friend ever who let me play with her stuff, lol. And we had the same views on the world. She smoked daily, which I didn't care either way. I didn't like weed all that much as the relaxed hazy mind wasn't my thing. But I did like energy….lots of energy.This led to my first ever slide into the other side. I didn't even see it happening, but got in with a shady group of people and lost sight of my world, replaced with an alter existence of staying up and running 90mph. So she left me. I worked on making their home a good home for my kids while I tried to wrestle my life back in order. I couldn't and well, it took an involuntary vacation handed down by the court system to clear me up long enough to grasp reality again. And thats when I decided to dedicate my life to trying to accomplish something in life, to try to succeed. I went to college for a year and a half, then took a semester off to work and fatten up my bank account for the next school year. Thats when I found the temporary 5 day job. After I was there for a couple years, *poof* my wife and I reconciled and worked out the anger and problems and they came back to me.Now I could handle it all. I had confidence, a great job I loved, and we cleaned up our credit and after my first promotion to supervise the small crew, we bought a house. And a new Jeep Wrangler. And I had already bought a new car, prior to her coming back. Life was great. We were having social dinner parties with friends from everywhere. Had money in the bank. I had a chunky little 401K plan that was growing. I loved my kids!!!! They were the best part of it all!!!Supervision was a whole new circle of people. I now saw upper management and the daily worker. I was in on meetings and in the field swinging a hammer. I was excelling at coordinating and delegating and all without yelling or insulting or power struggles. My crew ran smooth. I had their backs 100% and they had mine. But the management side was odd. I saw into the personalities of people who actually had snap-fingers power and pushed around multi million dollar figures in budget meetings like petty cash accounts. And the dark side of these people was much darker. It had to be hidden.I was able to keep myself out of their dirty little political games and their nose burning candies, mostly. Remember, my wife smokes. And I usually found it for her when she needed some. Gateway back into that world on the other side. And I admit, I was headed that way if I didn't watch it. But I was aware and I was keeping my snap. Recreationally my wife and I might split some X pill randomly come across by opportunity, if we had the kids and house under control. Or hold on to it for some later special occasion. This is where the bad nuclear annihilation and genocide of my world starts. Out of sheer coincidence I helped someone out with gas money and diapers and was handed a few of these X-pills as a thanks, which I gave to my wife to put up. No biggie. No alarms. No tornado alerts. I was really hanging in there.I know, this is a long read. But you have to understand at least the general lead up to this day. I was getting promoted! But at home, it wasn't going so well. I was working a lot because of a little financial hiccup we hit but we were doing ok. She had not renewed the profile paperwork for the disability check she was receiving for my son, who is autistic, that she had qualified for while w were split those 3 years. She was going to have to move out, lie about me living there, or just give up that money because of my earnings. I don't lie to the IRS or Government Agencies. They do bad things to evaders. And I told her I wouldn't let her lie about our finances and living arrangements. She was going to have to go get a job for a little while.We started fighting a lot. Over little things. Then she starts hinting that maybe we are in financial trouble because I’m using again. Truthfully, I had slipped up a couple times recently. But the cost of the stuff was chump change, plus I recognized and refocused myself. Now we are at a week before the big promotion. The bank account was starting to fatten back up. Greener pastures on the horizon, right? Sigh of relief coming soon.The weekend before promotion week comes and a virus knocks out our main computers motherboard and hard drive. Im a computer nerd at heart and techie. Always build my own computer, upgrade it and wipe/reinstall in last resort case. I replaced the drive and board and was moving on to the reinstall of windows. Then, that little goddam party monkey climbs on my back and starts telling me i look tired. I need energy. Why don't I go take a little portion of those xpillsWe stashed away, not enough to start really rolling, just to stay up. Goddam monkey talks really nice and it seems innocent enough so i take a half one and boom i’m up, installing Windows 10 and Apps. Its now Saturday morning and i distractedly forget to tell her I grabbed a pill and she comments about me being up all night. So I tell her about the half an X pill I took. And we move straight to guilty verdict and the sentencing phase of my trial. Which is being delivered by screaming. I tried, no guys, I really tried to stay calm, cuz I had gotten us here. and I endured it…..all day, steadily trying to reassure her it was just the pill and I wasnt going off the deep end.Sunday morning, I am up first. Quiet. No yelling. Ahhhhhh….And I hear her rustling around in the kitchen. Then goes back to the rear of the house. Two minutes later she comes flying into the garage, wild eyed, screaming she caught me. She found some drugs on the kids bathroom counter top that I forgot to clean off. Complete. Psycho. Mode. She tells me she tasted it and it was the heavy stuff. I don't know what the hell she licked off the kids bathroom counter, but it sure wasnt what she was screaming it was. I had already packed up the car for our days adventure to the country to a brother in laws for frolicking and merriment and fire charred delicacies. I load the kids while the screaming is still going strong. She informs me she isn't going anywhere with me. And off we go. quickly.at this point, I have to inform you that I am armed. We had a home protection weapon that stayed trigger locked in a locked case in our closet at the top. I dislike guns. I just don't like being around them. I can fire many types and have but I don't enjoy them. This one was a .40cal S&W Sig Sauer. Nickle plated. Nice. I guess. But the brother in law had told me to bring it and we would fire it out at the back pond. So I packed it the way the CHL people say to transport. Under the passenger seat, clip separate, case locked, trigger guard installed and the slide locked open. Bullets separate in the rear of the car. Safe.And we frolicked. Never fired the guns. Never got it out. Had a great time. He is a drummer and knew a lot of the same music I knew so we jammed out some good tunes for the kids and eventually headed http://home.As soon I my door opened, she was right there. Told the kids to go inside, and started screaming again as I unloaded the car. I really tried to block it. I tried breathing exercises. I tried doing multiplication in my head. I really really tried to not…….. She wouldn't stop. Finally, I just calmly told her I had enough and to shut up, two days of this was enough. Volume knob went up a notch along with the pitch of her voice. All I said was to shut up. And she pushed me and yelled what was I going to do……slow motion begins, and I can see the heads up display on my rage gear turn on and a cross hairs appears on her forehead as my fist draws back……. and return to reality and I lower my fist and told her I wasn't going to let her do this to me. And I walked out and down the street. I could hear her screaming, “You were going to hit me!!!!”…..nah, that would have been the easy way out. And I don't do the easy way. So I slip back home later and sleep on the couch.Back to work on Monday. The general foreman and Superintendent meet with me and my old Supervisor’s retirement party is going to be Thursday afternoon and they will announce that I am rolling over to that crew to take his place then, starting the next Monday morning. My crew stays busy all week so it flys by…..but at night….not so much.I had decided. This was over. I didn't feel the way I had felt about her. I wasn't happy. I wanted out but I wanted to help her get set up. No messy breakup. I would help her out as much as I could. An apartment not too far away and I will see the kids as much as I am allowed. Just no fighting. No yelling. No more. NO. MORE. So, when I went home from work, I had promised myself to not fight. No matter what. I would stop at the store and get me a cold one. Sit on the couch with the kids and watch tv then crash after they went to bed. She tried so hard to get me to boil. But I didn't. Til Wednesday night.I got home Wednesday night and she was sitting on a barstool directly in front of the door from the garage so I had to pass right in front of her to come in. Same drill, cold one in hand and straight to the couch. Nope. She says I have to go grocery shopping. I told her she could go. She had the grocery money. She said I had to go and to pay. I told her no, that was her responsibility. I paid all the bills, mortgage, phones, jeep note AND CHILD SUPPORT TO HER. She had to pay groceries, Jeep insurance and emergency supplies. Thats it. Until my sons checks quit coming she was bringing in $500 from him and $700 a month from me for Child Support. The whole time we had been living together again. She said that I must not love my kids then if I wont buy them food. (Oh the stab of the knife into the soft tissue with little remarks like that) I grabbed the list she had conveniently laid on the bar and left. Hmmm, the bar was cleaned off with just the list and her phone she had laid down there when I walked in. Shoulda seen that.I went to the grocery store and got it all and returned home. On the way home I was pondering how to ask her if she was still going with me on Friday to a thing we had planned attending in Dallas. I unloaded all the bags on to my arms for just one load in and walked towards the garage door. Blinds were open and I saw her get up and walk away as I approached the door with my burden of bags. I managed to get a hand on the knob. Locked. Grrrrrrrr. I knocked with a knuckle. Normally. I look in and I can see her, standing just to the left of the archway to the living room, 7 feet away. I tap again a little harder with my free knuckle. Not a flinch. Grrrrrrr. I wait. GRRRRRRRRR…….ok FUCKING GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Now I am pissed. I kick the door a few times with the toe of my shoe. I know she heard that and she unlocks the door. Doesn't open it and backs away. I free my two fingers again to grab the knob and open it and a bag breaks, jar falls, spaghetti sauce splashes everywhere and I am primed. This ends. Now. No. More.I admit, I have no idea what I said. I saw red. But I said it very low and only where she could hear it. Something about “if you want to play f’in games we can play f’in games. You going to Dallas tomorrow with me? “ She informed me she would never go anywhere with me in that car and tried to run off. As I said, I had enough. This was going to stop. So I blocked her from her insult and run move. And then I noticed she had her phone in hand. Screen weirdly pointed at me. Whatever, dont care. I am not doing this. No. I go to the couch. I wanna get to the good part. I want to get to the party the next day. So I crash on the couchI’m up at 5:30am, shower and dress and I am out the door!!!!Not a word, never saw her. And I head to work.The morning goes slowly. tick toc. Its Thursday and that means payday. So after getting the guys lined out on the assignments, I make my way in my truck through the plant to the parking area inside the fence up front for the Administration Building. I badge through the Security gate and walk to the building and badge in to the building and go down the hallway to our payroll office.Robin was our payroll admin. Known her for years. She was really cute. Always bubbly and a lot of fun to talk to. So I sit there for a few minutes joking with her and her clerk Jonna and get my crews packet of checks, verify them, sign for them and head back to the gate to badge back in to the plant perimeter. Its important to know that this facility is a MARSEC facility under the protection of the US Coast Guard and Homeland Security due to our docks on the water. We all were processed through a two week long Homeland Security and DOJ background check to receive our TWIC cards to badge in to the plant. These are the same cards the TWA officers at the airports have to have. So I badge back in and hop in the truck and go hand out checks. I like doing that. That moment is the only reason we are in this plant. For that piece of paper. I joke with the guys and remind them about Murphy’s retirement party that afternoon and I tell my Welder Homero to hop in the truck, that I had a job to go get his safety input on for the next week. We pull out and head the same direction I just came from and my radio crackles my name. Its payroll,and Robin says she needs to see me back up there. I answer back that I will head up there but I wanted to show Homero the job real quick. Robin says I need to come there now. 10–4.Hunh. Ever have that sinking feeling? My welder is looking at me and says “What did you do?” “Nothing” I replied. Homero says, “No, you did something, because theres going to be cops there when we get to the parking area. Thats what they do when they come here looking for someone with a warrant.” “Well, I don't have any warrants and I haven't done anything.” I say, and then we round the corner and man, oh, man that was a situation in progress going on at the gate and other side of the fence by the parking lot. Heres what I saw as Homero says “What did you do Boss? What did you do? Ill take the truck back to the shop. If they let you go, call me on the radio and Ill come back to pick you up.”I didn't reply. There was, from right to left, in the front parking lot of the plant outside the Administration Office Building: County Sheriff Car, County Sheriff Car, County Sheriff Car, State Trooper SUV,State Trooper SUV, State Trooper SUV, Full Ladder FireTruck ( the long one) EMT Fire Rescue Truck, 4 plant security trucks and a Homeland Security Truck. I get out of the truck and badge through the gate and walk towards the building entrance and the door swings open and the Plant Manager is standing there and says, “Come on in, Brent.” and I do. He says to not worry, theres some people that want to talk to m, and leads down the hallway I had just been in 30 minutes earlier, past Robins office to the next door. This office is Brenda’s. She is head of Plant Security. He reaches down and turns the knob and says they are in there.Small Office. There are 15 people in this 10X12 office all along the walls. 3 Sheriffs, 3 State Troopers, Homeland Security Liaison, Plant Manager, our Contractor Plant Manager, 4 Plant Security, the Plant Fire Chief and US Coast Guard Liaison. And me in the middle. I smile and slowly make a spin looking at every one of them in the eye and say, “ So, What is this about?” One of the State Troopers takes the lead and says that they needed to ask me some questions, and I replied, “Sure, Go ahead.”“Do you have a gun on you?” “No”“Do you have a gun in the plant?” “No”*pause* Ever have that sinking feeling? After question one, I feel a little wobbly. What is this about a gun? They are mistaking me for someone else. After question 2 I am almost nauseous as the recording from Sunday Night replays at the part when I pull up with the kids after the fun day in the country. As soon as my door opens she starts yelling. I start unpacking and taking in to the garage. She follows back n forth. It get worse and I tell her to shut up………..Oh No…. what did I miss? Oh NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!3. “ Do you have a gun in your car?” Oh God Oh God “Yes”4. “ May we see it?” “Sure, no problem.”At this point I am reeling and had to be a really bad shade of green. I didn't remember to take the gun out of the car and had been riding around with it for 4 days.The room visibly relaxed and the lead Trooper says, “We think we know whats going on here. Have you been fighting with your wife?” I say “Yes, but only verbal and I had been refusing to argue the last few days” They all looked at each other and nodded. Trooper says,” Thats what we thought, Brent. This morning the plant received a call and the City Police received a second call anonymously reporting that you had beaten your wife, were in the plant high on crystal meth and violent with a gun. The City Police are at your residence right now doing a wellness checkup on your family since it is classified as a Domestic Violence Call. Once we clear the gun and she is cleared, we will let you go and our job is done.Our head of Safety come jogging up with a bottle in hand. “I just got permission to do a for cause UA on him from HQ.” Trooper says to me, “You need to go?” and I tell him I could probably go right then. So I fill the bottle, and he tests it with the instant strip and I am clean of course. He takes the result strip out to the officers and they all look and nod and the lead trooper motions to one of the Trooper Trucks.He opens the rear and motions me to get in. We have to ride about a 1/2 mile down the road to where our parking lot is and I guide the Trooper to my car. He lets me out and we stand there looking at each other and he finally asks if I am going to unlock it. I tell him no but you can and hand him my keys. All 6 officers gather around the car, and one unlocks and opens my passenger door and asks me where it is. I tell him it is under the passenger seat like it should be. He reaches in and extracts the locked blue case and they look at it and ask me to open it. i tell them they can and its the very small key on my keyring. He unlocks it and picks up my pretty shiny handgun all locked open and trigger guard lock in place. I could see them oooohing and ahhhhing over it. The trooper replaces it in the case, locks the case back and puts it under the seat and locks and shuts the door. He walks over to me and hands me the keys and turns to the Plant Manager and our Safety man and says “We are done here, theres nothing wrong” and 5 of the officers get in their vehicles and leave. Its just one officer and us standing in the dirt parking lot. The officer says,”Do you mind if I use that office to write my report? ‘ “ Sure. “……..At this point the Safety man says I have to go to his office to sign the chain of custody papers for the UA I took so it can go to the lab for entry into the system. We g, and on the way he tells me they were wrong, there were three phone calls made. The first went to payroll. Specifically to a number with an answering machine that was dedicated to employee absentee call ins which sits on the payroll clerks desk. *more on that at another time* The second went to him when the caller did not get the reaction they desired. He answered and listened to the callers story which was the same as what the officer had quoted except the safety man tried to keep the caller on the line. As part of his job he had a subscription to a background check site that also had a phone number lookup app. He asked the caller to hold a second and he proceeded to trace the number of the caller but the caller hung up. He handed me a folded paper and said that the official info for that number was on that paper and i should see whose name it was registered under. He told me to walk back over to the Admin Building to talk to the Plant Manager to see what to do next.Let me tell you, that was a long walk. As I walked, I thought, no one knew I had that gun in the car. Hell, I didn't even remember i had it. And why did they call and say I had beaten my wife that morning? I hadn't even seen her at all that morning. And what was the plant manager going to say? Was I going to be fired?As I approached the building the door opened and he stepped out. He said, “ This was a very unfortunate and unnecessary incident. Although we, the contractor at this plant, have a very strict no gun policy here, the fact that it was secured properly in a private vehicle outside the fenced perimeter gives us the leeway to overlook what happened here today. Take the rest of the day off with pay, and come see him Monday morning to sort it out but right now too many people had seen the situation and to please get that fucking gun and that car off his property. You are not in any trouble. See you Monday” And he went back in the building.Confused isnt even close to what I felt at that moment as I started walking toward the car. At least I wasn't fired! I heard my name called, and I turned around toward the building and there was the Plant Manager Waving me back. “I need you to come here a minute.” “what the hell do you want now?” I said. I walked up to him and he said come inside. Once the door shut behind me, he turned to me and said,”Man, Brent, you must have really pissed her off. “ “Why do you say that?” “Well, it seems you have priors.”He said. “You knew That when you hired me, it was part of my background check.”“Brent, the officer here called your house to inform them of your release with no charges, as is procedure for a domestic violence case. They informed your wife and she said they couldn't release you, you had prior felonies and that makes this a felony. He is on his way back to pick you up. And, I truly am sorry, but we need to do some paperwork before he gets here. “He was holding my termination papers.I was arrested, given a $15000 bond. She cleaned out the house of valuables and put a TRO on me, took my kids and the brand new jeep. Lawyer for the gun charge was $17000. Lawyer for the divorce was $9000. Payoff on the Jeep was $7000Thats when I knew my marriage was over.And then it got worse. Way worse.Sorry for the extremely long post but it was necessary to understand fully what I lost that day. Thank you for reading it. God bless and may you never meet a person like this.If you need to know if your partner is having an affair here's a thread for here.

Where I Lived and Old Age ain't what it used to beLife in MilwaukeeI grew up in the late 1930s - 1940s in a Milwaukee urban environment; my family being Germans from Prussia (father’s side) and some red dog Irish from Dublin (mother’s side), who had immigrated to Milwaukee in the 1850s, entered into businesses (construction, pharmacy and diamond brokerage), and were as far back as I can remember, traditional Republicans. My adolescence were my immortal days when I was completely reckless, full of adventure, dared to do anything, was very physical, and thought the devil takes the hindmost. I can remember all those days well, so my adventures will make good story telling.Back then, Milwaukee was basically a European culture, with large German / Polish / British populations, a manufacturing center that believed in work, fair play and earned rewards. Milwaukee has always been a music-based town with ethnic festivals on the Lake Michigan waterfront celebrating national heritage. With religious zeal, Milwaukee was also a sports town that had a passionate love affair for the Green Bay Packers and Braves.It was home to parks every few blocks, the Lake Michigan waterfront, trolley cars, viaducts, corner stores and soda fountains, beautiful neighborhoods, an excellent school system, and was world famous for heavy manufacturing, custard, Brewies, Harley Davidson, Liberace, bowling, ethnic festivals, being an international sea port and USA freight train connector, Polka dancing, car racing, State Fairs, and the incomparable world class Milwaukee Zoo.Milwaukee was a working man’s politically and socially liberal city where unions prevailed, bars were on every corner, dance clubs dotted every ethnic neighborhood, and where new performing acts tried out and went on to become nationally famous like Buddy Holly, the Platters, Wilson Pickett and Elvis Presley. Milwaukee teenagers in the 1950's conjure images of boys with pompadour hair dos shaped into Duck Tails, Drape pants, Spade shoes, leather Bomber Jackets and girls with pony tails, in bobby socks, poodle skirts and white saddle shoes. And Milwaukee was a ‘dance city’ that emerged a new generation from swing dancing to Lindy and Jitterbug, to Be Bop, to Doo Op, and into the age of Elvis Presley’s rock and roll.Between ice skating at Washington Park, skiing around Milwaukee’s hills and dales, camping at Menominee Falls and running with the trains, going to Hoyt Park and on the amusement rides and to carnival side shows at the Wisconsin State Fair every year, exploring Milwaukee on my Schwinn bike, life was very entertaining. I bought my first car at 16 and became an auto mechanic to keep it running. Washington High School was great and I had the best time of my life with friends, working at KRAMBO grocery as a cashier, cruising downtown Milwaukee in my 1941 Pontiac Silver Streak, and going on double dates to the Drive in Movie Theater or one of Wisconsin’s lakes.Winters snows in Milwaukee were a constant thing, and would pile up and stay for the entire winter, but it was great for tobogganing sledding and skiing at Washington Park while farmers brought in their horse drawn sleighs to provide transportation for the city folk. Every snowfall left tons of drifts, often more than thirty feet high, especially when the City street snow blowers blew snow onto existing mounds of compacted snow laying about on playgrounds and front yards. We built huge snow forts and connecting tunnels with passageways that led to rooms we used as hiding places. But we never thought about getting a big snow collapse in one of our tunnels that could threaten our lives. Of course, with all the cold weather and snow, winter sports were king in Milwaukee. Skiing, sledding, tobogganing, and ice-skating were all our winter playtime favorites. And we never minded the cold, they say you get used to it.I received an excellent academic education in Milwaukee’s public schools. First there was Hi Mount Elementary, then Stueben Jr. High, and finally Washington High School, full college prep oriented school system and at the time, Washington H.S. was ranked the third best high school in the USA (so the Navy told me when I enlisted, it was behind Julliard and the Bronx School of Science in New York City).I was a very active as a child, what with my riding bicycles, horses and becoming a car mechanic so I could drive my pre WW II jalopy, all the adventure stuff camping and canoeing exploits in the deep woods and like keeping in shape with rock climbing, boxing in Golden Gloves and scuba diving at Devil's Lake. Every day of my adolescence I worked out on a speed bag and a heavy bag hung in my basement, doing 100 pushups and several hundred sit-ups. I was a workout freak! And I loved to fight, got into many with street gangs and bullies in school. Oh so young, strong and adventurous! I had ten horses, deep woods camped all over Wisconsin, canoed and portaged many lakes, rode my hot rod and got into motorcycles. My life has been full of getting a great education, working out and keeping fit, reading the classics, becoming expert on WW II Pacific battles in my youth.Life in the NavyIn the Navy I rode a WW II destroyer for three years through countless storm and hurricanes, traveling the western world to more than forty USA, Caribbean, Mediterranean, Middle East, African, Asian and Persian Gulf ports; was the leading Petty Officer for the Fire Control weapons division, marched miles in the Arabian desert with a 90-pound pack on my back carrying a Thompson Machine Gun on Recon with the Marines; was a really good street fighter, did Military Police and Shore Patrol all over the western world,; survived countless fights and rough seas, traveled the world, and fought the Russians. I lived on the periphery of a war zone fighting the Cold War filled with extensive world travel and lots of Military Police duties and street fights with Communists and Islamists where people were killed or injured.After the NavyAfter the Navy, I got an opportunity to be a Main Frame engineer for IBM, spent 3 and 1/2 years in Main Frame schools - finished first in my class - and was stationed at the naval base and went on never ending special TAD product support assignments all around the USA, especially to New York City which had the most and biggest computer applications in the USA. I also got involved in politics and Civil Rights, worked for Jack Kennedy and marched with Martin Luther King, all to work for equality. You could say that generally southerners: white - by culture, and black - by segregation, were educationally and culturally way behind northern peoples. And the whites were mean too . . . fighting Civil Rights to keep Jim Crow racial segregation in place.Living in the NortheastIn 1967 when I was 30, I moved to New York City. It took me a while to lose the negative perspective of human nature that I had developed while living in the segregated south. In New York, I found a new dynamic, friendliness and accepting all types and kinds of people. What got a New Yorker angry was dealing with poor character and behavior, which had nothing to do with race. Everyone was treated as an individual. People were much more sincere and much more caring. In the South, “race” was one of a person's defining characteristics. Up north, it was merely a footnote, if that. One of the first things I noticed was that those of predominantly European ancestry here very often do jobs, which are primarily performed by blacks and Hispanics down South, - and, with no negative stigmas attached. Everyone is down to earth; no one is pretentious.I spent a lot of time in Boston, which is the polar opposite of where I came from in the south in almost every way. Something else I’ve noticed up north that one would hardly ever see down South was a White Male-Black Female couple. These are incredibly rare in the South, but are common up north by comparison and are not considered “strange”. Most of the white guys I hung out with down South said that black girls were “too ugly” or “too dumb”, and that they would never date a black woman. Besides sit was illegal what with southern anti miscegenation laws. As a General Manager in the computer industry and 'Corporate Recruiter' I traveled across the south attending meetings or recruiting at the military bases and found it very backward compared to the Northeast {Massachusetts] where my headquarters were located.We Northerners tend to be more supportive of social egalitarianism: human rights, civil rights, workers’ unions, and people stuff en all. We think as long as you work hard, everyone should be given a fair chance to succeed. Despite both having a traditional culture, midwestern traditionalism didn’t originate from a class-based society and Southern traditionalism did originate from a class-based society. Northerners tend to be far more educated, industrialized, high tech, socially advanced, and immigrant driven worldly. More students from Northern States go to Ivy League and highly academic Colleges and get better-rounded educations. The North generally spearheaded and protected many of the American social and domestic human rights movements as a first world country in the early 1900's to ensure the good of its people. The south still remains in a backward thinking, a capricious slumber in which visions of white power and hate speech are as common as the rising of the sun.I will say that in the more urban areas around the South, and especially those where there are major universities, it’s not so bad, and interracial relationships do seem to be tolerated. But in all the times I’ve been to the Delta - the last being two years ago - I still have yet to see a single black/white couple in the Delta, even though it’s the “blackest” region in all of America. It’s not that the blacks won’t have relationships with whites, but because the whites would ostracize the family of any white man (and especially any white woman) who had the temerity to actually have relations with a black person. White and Asian are okay, but black and white? Verboten. That’s how it is there even today.Living in New York CityIn many ways, NYC is one of the best places on earth to live. There are downs to NYC… but they are minor compared to the ups. Whatever you want is about five minutes from your front door (in a coop or condo, most of that time is spent waiting for the elevator). We have some of the best salsa clubs than any other city, as well as one of the best West Indian Carnivals outside of the Caribbean. Lunar New Year and the Holi festival are also some of the best cultural events that New York City puts together. I also am a friend with some of the most talented artists and performers who one day might be the next star. There is always something to do in this place, no matter what your interests are. You might even try something that you had never thought about trying before. NYC attracts the best and brightest from all over the world. They come from undeveloped regions, rural areas and other big cities. New York is a 24-hour-a-day adrenaline rush. If you’re a Liberal Democrat or amusingly right wing, have the right rap, are literate and articulate and a type-A workaholic (but appear languid and comfortable and can successfully soft-sell), you will, as the saying goes, love New York. And it will love you. Slip, however, and it will eat you alive. If you are turned on by that challenge, you’ll make it there. But not, as the song goes, anywhere.But NYC is very expensive; rents are very high in New York and many people have four or five roommates to help cover the rent (young people). A single, working mother with a child will struggle to pay rent, buy food and pay for childcare, which is the reason why the homeless shelters are overcrowded and housing court has a long court docket. Outer borough rents are ridiculous too. Crime is rampant in some areas. Imagine paying four digits rent but you cannot come outside after dark for fear of getting hit by stray gunfire! Blue Collar jobs do not pay enough for the average person to cover expenses and have funds left over for savings unless you are a professional or such as an attorney or a doctor or if you work in the tech sector or entertainment/news industry.People move here hoping to obtain a good job should reconsider unless the salary is $100,000 or more, otherwise, good luck enjoying New York the way the city is supposed to be experienced. The traffic is horrible – don’t bring a car into NYC. There are crowds everywhere. Wherever you go, it’s you and 20,000 plus of people you don’t know. There s every type of person from every country in the world here, all withy their food, social customs and religions. Everything is open 24/7; the gas stations, grocery stores, Diners, and bars and nightclubs close at 4am. NYC is filled with all sorts of different people, different races and cultures and churches. There are more than 200 different languages being spoken, so you’ll hear different tongues you’ve never heard of see clothing and dress you’ve never seen before. Lots of highly educated people in NYC, you will hear different conversations, depending on your crowd, it maybe more global or deeper into some philosophy or research endeavor.NYC is for the adventurous, skilled and talented, competitive and those loving to take risks. You can make it work. It will kick your ass and it will hurt, but it can be uplifting in so many ways too!Traveling Around the USAI traveled to more than 20 cities in the US and have never saw significant forms of discrimination at all. People are so friendly and welcoming to me. Even in places like Boston and New York where the people are known to be pressed and rude, people still say “thank you” and “sorry” a lot. Another thing that I find shocking most is the cultural diversity of the country. Foreigners like to think that the whole America is not much different from one another, but it’s actually much more diverse. The contrast between the Western and the Eastern parts of the country is very strong. They almost feel like two different countries. Though overall my biggest culture shock (or reality) of America is that it’s a very highly contrasting society and country, with huge geographic differences and that even people’s opinions varied hugely, people are not people but a black woman, white man, Asian guy, Mexican dude, white girl, black kid! And each subsection of Americans has their own stereotype assigned to them and they meet it more or less.I traveled often to the Carolina's and Atlanta and the Deep South into Alabama and Mississippi. The Deep South is a very poor White and Black region, religious, segregated, with lots of poverty, lousy healthcare, crime and social dysfunction. It seems most people live in trailers, drop out of school, have lots of babies with multiple partners, have few skills - the whites voting Republican who don't give a damn about them and Blacks for Democrats who try to improve their but they vote in very small numbers. There is an over-presence of religion. Religious billboards everywhere, churches on every corner, with signs admonishing to believe or else; and their is long list of those going to Hell. . I can’t figure the South out! It seems they are still living their Civil War over and over again . . . always fighting what is good for them because of their animosities toward outsiders and especially what they call Yankees. It almost seems that the Age of Enlightenment had never occurred, stuck in pre-18th Century mindsets regarding science, logic and humanism. Logical discussion seems beyond the range, almost an alien concept, of many who just tout set slogans and opinions, with no basis in observation or research for themselves. It’s mind boggling to find in a “Developed Nation.” It shows all the signs of Brainwashing.I had a great career in the computer industry as an engineering, sales and marketing manager for Banking and Fortune 500 accounts; went to Harvard Business School, wrote books, taught management development courses; was a national recruiter visiting engineering colleges, tech schools, and military based looking for high performance tech professionals and hired close to a thousand for NYC and Mid Atlantic operations. I was very sympathetic toward blacks since they suffered under racial segregation but found that generally they had poor educations and didn't qualify much for high tech jobs. I did my best to hire blacks and women who were highly inspired but also had to take into consideration job requirements. My company's revenue success and my job continuation depended upon being the best player in a very competitive market place. Kind of like NFL football or any professional sports.Life in Upstate NYAfter a 30 yr career in NYC, technology companies were downsizing, and all my terrific accomplishments didn't matter any more, and I took an early retirement at age 55. I moved from the corporate world in Manhattan to the rural world of Route Sales in Upstate New York. I wanted to be “that guy” who retired from his place of employment with a nice farewell party after a life of service, and spent his retirement babysitting his multiple grandchildren in the same house where he raised their parents. I wanted a permanency and sense of belonging! Interestingly, New York City and Upstate New York have always had a symbiotic relationship, as one needs the other for survival and both share multiple personalities. Whereas the City was a conflagration of social ills containing every ethnic type of person and culture, where some kind of opportunity existed for anyone on earth, where anything went and fun was exemplified at every turn, Upstate was the escape point from those big City manifestations, and was the place of relaxation, where camping, mountain climbing, hunting and fishing occurred. We lived in the Hudson Valley foothills of the Catskill Mountains, which has acres and acres of dairy cows, farms, etc. I like the fact that its many small towns have bandstands with evening concerts, parades, not the big commercial extravaganza's like in Manhattan, butcher shops, bakeries other than at the supermarket, small mom & pop stores where you are greeted by name . . . The area is full of lakes, rivers and reservoirs available for fishing and hunting. You are close to the mountains and deep woods so you can escape modern life for an afternoon, go fishing or hunting, and be back in the evening at the local diner for food. I could go on and on.From our front yard you can see the Shawungunk Mountains. They are beautiful and I can see living in Upstate New York biggest bonuses, every morning, afternoon, and night the surrounding mountains and waters never look the same. Different light, weather, time of year, it's always beautiful. And it’s nice for being in the 'burbs but still close enough to commute to Manhattan for work and got out for nights on the town. Upstate New York is littered with small cities and towns. And while the jury is still out on whether urban or rural residents are happier, there's a strong case to be made for the mental health benefits of small-town life. City dwellers have a higher risk of anxiety and mood disorders, and children who are brought up in a city are twice as likely to develop schizophrenia later in life. When it comes to living well, Upstaters may be able to teach us a thing or two. When you are living amongst the hustle and bustle of New York City, you are likely paying at least $2000 a month to rent a room in a shared apartment with a living room and kitchen that share the same 100 square‑foot space. There is probably a rat infestation in your building, the view from your bedroom window probably overlooks a dumpster and a brick wall, and your bathroom probably doubles as a closet. When you live Upstate, the mortgage on your 2000 square foot house is less than $1000 a month.Life in GeorgiaI lived in the south during the 1950s and ‘60s with the Navy and IBM aand during the Civil Rights movement and I can assure you that those years were fully racist and kept very violent to keep it that way. White southerners were ignorant, racist, armed and dangerous and just slightly more stable than an evangelical preacher who blessed racism. I watched men wearing white sheets and hoods to hide their cowardly faces burn an 8ft cross in the yard of the first black family that moved into our neighborhood. The authorities only managed to show up after the men had finished their hate filled display and departed.Because of the civil rights movement that sort of racism was on its way out. The cities had become too exposed for the good old boy network to effectively cover up the racism. Too many eyes with easy access to telephones were watching and in a population where everyone doesn’t know everyone else, it had gotten to the point that the police officer who arrived in response to a call might not look the other way, or worse yet to them, be ‘colored’.During the '60's and '70's there was a feeling that blacks and whites were taking bricks from the walls that separated us. But then those bricks began to be put back in place. At least that's how it seemed to me. The walls remain. Today Atlanta is a very racially diverse city. But this diversity is made up of pockets. There's the Hispanic community over here, the Asian community over there. Each of these communities has pockets within it. Since outright racist behavior was becoming less tolerated publicly, the racism of the 1980’s mostly consisted of under the breath muttering with pure hatred behind closed doors. Depending on who you were, where you were, and who you were with, you might not have even notice the racism was there. If you were a Caucasian male living here, you were reminded of it often as the racists of the time assumed that everyone thought the way they did and would drop their guard if only Caucasians were present. Anyone who thinks it didn’t exist because it wasn’t openly discussed in coffee shops either was too privileged to be aware of it, part of it, or just completely ignorant as to what was going on around them.I moved south in 2005 at age 68 and immediately gained more weight, it's peaceful and quiet but just not as physically active here as in the north. I am about 40 pounds overweight based on Manhattan physical standards but considered skinny here in the south where fatness reins. Gods . . . there are a lot of really fat people here. And I have no arthritis, my hair isn't getting wispy and my voice is still strong and not changing. My skin isn't covered in weird little warts and brown shapes. Only a few wrinkle here and there. People say I look like I am in my late 50s or early 60s. Even my two heart bypass operations in my 50s didn't slow me down. I walk regularly at Fleckers (an exercise gymnasium). If you remain engaged and have passions and curiosity about life, nothing much changes. I have taken good care of physical myself and kept my mind in constant learning mode, whether with books or classes or experiences my whole life. So here I am, all that rambunctious and death defying stuff of my youth gone. Most of my friends have passed. As you get older, ones' circle of opportunities to live life and have friends’ ceases. I miss movies that tell a story. I’m not crazy about gore on TV or movies. Most of all, I don't like today's ultra conservative leaning on white nationalism Republican politics and evangelical (southern) religion - too extreme, radical and hateful for me! It's like America is not a nice place anymore! The USA is in shambles today. Trump and his supporters are a disaster. What a hateful bunch! So life goes on . . . Every time you enter a new decade it feels like you’ve gotten so much older. It’s the 9’s of each decade that gives you a whole year to anticipate falling into the next decade. And once you actually have a birthday, it just doesn’t seem as bad as you anticipated.Living in the SoutheastI think while things got lots better than they were in the 1960s or earlier time periods, racial issues are still a significant problem. And it comes from both black and white. Don't ever think that racism is just a white thing against blacks; it works the other way around too. And 'Political Correctness' just adds to the fire, dictating that even if a white policeman farts on a black criminal he is a racist.So the racists went underground and then lost their collective minds over the election of a black man as POTUS… but that is a different story. Today if they are brave enough to show their faces, they generally label themselves as “white nationalists” or “alt-right”. Failing that they go underground into a like-minded hate filled echo chambers so it isn’t as obvious.To be blunt, the racism in the South is really only noticeable to people who aren’t from the area. To the people who live there, it’s like background noise; it's how they live! By that I mean, unless its volume is turned up, you just consider as being part of living in the region. However, people who have been elsewhere (or who have lived in the South and have returned after many years) immediately notices how racist things still are. I recently took a trip to the Atlanta metro area for a few days and I was stunned at how rude some White Southerners can be and what Black Americans in the South still have to endure,Jim Crow was still practiced; almost nothing had changed . . . including the signs above the two doors to the only doctor’s office in town. One said “WHITE” and the other said, “COLORED”. Oh, they were painted completely over in a Kelly green, but paint doesn’t hide inch-deep chisels in marble so well. And the people still obeyed those signs. The racism’s so thick in the air you can cut it with a knife. If I’d had a lick of sense,I once attempted to open the door to a shop for an old lady who, after hearing my voice and accent, told me she "didn't need any he's from no yanked." I get along with older people and that incident almost broke my heart. One last thing - did you know that the Mississippi state legislature did not ratify the Thirteenth amendment banning slavery until 2013? Yes, three years ago. Oh, they claim that it was because of an “administrative error” wherein they “lost the paperwork” when they tried to ratify it back in 1995 (which was only 130 years after the end of the Civil War, you know)…but any of us who were raised in Mississippi know better as to why it took so inexcusably long to ratify that amendment.A brand of racism certainly does exist in the South in the 21st century [as it does everywhere], one that is peculiarly southern and is complicated in its historical origins and its sociology. Sometimes it's extraordinarily vicious and ugly; at other times it's much more systemic, subdued, and passive. It's never a good thing. It varies from town to town, county-to-county, and even from one parent to another. Southerners tend to have traditional conservative values, lots of religion, and pride in the Confederate heritage that all Southerners share. Southerners tend to dislike liberals, like that they are more religious and don't like socialism. They like their guns; many carry and are better armed than northerners. There is only a hand full of different cultures in the Southern States, while in the Northern States there are many diverse cultures from around the World. Conservative southerners tend to dislike anyone that disagrees with their conservative Republican political and fundamentalist evangelical religious opinions. They are eager to view themselves as morally superior to others. One is not allowed to be gay, transcended, and non-Christian without being looked down upon. Consequentially, the South tends to be bigoted in race, gender, sex, and religion. The south leads the nation in income inequality, poverty, obesity, homicides, violent crimes, divorce, births out of wedlock, and is this least peaceful region of the USA. It’s funny that the one sin the North excels at slightly is Sloth, which is measured according to: “Expenditures on art, entertainment, and recreation compared with employment.” Basically, it just means Northerners have more fun and have more high culture. As far as sins go, that is definitely the one to choose.Northeast vs. SoutheastNortheastThe Northeast isn't the fastest growing but it appears by and far the healthier, most affluent, highly educated and has the lowest crime rate than everyplace else. Actually, the NE dominates the US when it comes to "upper middle class" and wealth. Nearly all of the richest areas in the country are in the northeast, which continues to solidify its wealth dominance with explosion of finance and government employment. The weather gets unbearably cold and the people can tend to be "Know it all M@ssholes." And it's expensive as hell to live anywhere halfway decent. Diversity and modernity is the normal, people are open-minded and vote toward the liberal end of the spectrum and are socially progressive. In terms of spending on education, the quality of healthcare, the standard of living, etc., the New England states are excellent. Massachusetts leads the country in a great many parameters of health and welfare. Also, it has the second lowest gun ownership rate, behind Hawaii, so more children there make it to adulthood than in any other state. Plus all the hundreds of world-class universities and high schools, not to mention several of the countries best secondary schools. Boston also has some of the nations, if not worlds, greatest universities, including Harvard and Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Boston is a lovely city, it’s an hour from Cape Cod, and an hour from the ski slopes. It’s also one of the only walkable cities in the country, very European that way, you can survive without a car. But it’s expensive to live there, and the winters can be brutal.Connecticut and Maryland are also states with excellent schools, high per-student spending, good healthcare, and very supportive social safety nets. They are Top Five in nearly every quality-of-life indicator. But again, not cheap to live in the nice parts.SoutheastLook at the conservative areas of the South and Appalachia. Many southern states are measured as "Developing." Such as Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Louisiana, e.g., the old Confederacy plus a few more. Now imagine that all states, all regions, all the country was dominated by a similar conservative culture. Imagine that all government (local and federal) was run by a majority of conservative politicians. Imagine spread across the entire country the same degree of social problems, the same high rates of: poverty, wealth disparity, violent crime, incarceration, intolerance, broken families, illiteracy, high school drop outs, teen pregnancy, low birth weight, infant mortality, STDs, lack of healthy food and health care for the poor and working class, and on and on. Imagine all of that combined.The south is especially troubling, it has the lowest life expectancy, fattest, least educated people, has the highest poverty rate and overall is the most backward region in the USA, but has lots of migration there for its weather, cheap housing and low taxes. Unfortunately, the people on average have a much lower education rates than in other places, and the culture is not as "advanced" as other places. One of the first questions southern people ask you is "What church do you go to?" Tradition is the normal, people tend to be very religious, opinionated, judgmental and are on the ultra conservative end of the spectrum and are socially restrictive. For example, Jody Hice, an ex Pastor with a radio talk show in Atlanta was elected for congress in my district in Georgia. He says it's OK for women to be in politics as long as they are under the political control of their husbands. He also wants to take away the first amendment rights for Muslims. He is a gun everywhere advocates, including bars, restaurants, churches, schools, and government offices, and he enjoys the biggest NRA ratings. He is an ultra conservative who says he will repeal ObamaCare, stop abortion, immigration and Gay rights, and any contraception for women.City life vs. Country lifeAs a born-and-raised big city boy, having traveled the worked and USA widely and lived or visited just about everywhere in the USA, I now have adopted a country life in rural Georgia, and I think it is safe to say I have experienced the best (and possibly worst) of both worlds. They are two entirely different ways of life – each with their own advantages and disadvantages. As for me, I like beauty and nature, but also the convenience, diversity and open-minded people of the city who are also spoiling and have become a necessity to my happiness. OK, I admit it the country life has fewer opportunities but think about it it’s much healthier. You know that people who live in the city are like bees. They are precipitous and bustling. Because most people live in cities, they have a lot more social and business activities: shopping malls and restaurants galore, thrift stores, libraries, and concert venues, just to name a few. Space is at a premium, housing is expensive, and you need more money than living in the country. But city life is exciting and fun with tons of things to do with a huge variety of people. Obviously, to get the most out of city life, you need to be able to afford it. Meanwhile, life in the country differs greatly from life in the city. Country nights are quiet and the expansive sky bounteous with brilliant stars that seem brighter than those in the city. The clean, evening air is permeated with the sounds of katydids, crickets and birds. It all depends, then, on what your preference is on where you'd be happiest. If you thrive around lots of people, don't like being out in the Sun much, and aren't keen on driving through miles of cornfields just to get to the nearest shopping center, then city living would probably be ideal. But if you have anxiety attacks, consider yourself an outdoorsy person, or enjoy being around animals, your life may be complete in the heart of the country.Old AgeToday I am 83 years old and been around the block a few times. I was raised in 1940s - 50s Milwaukee, then a very liberal city that was diverse and on the top of civilized accoutrements e.g.: ethnic - religious diversity, top education, good jobs, lots recreation - cultural, Music - Milwaukee Fest, infrastructure - parks, museums, libraries, health care, etc. That progressive environment existentially formed my life to this day. In between I lived in the 1950s - 1960s Jim Crow segregated conservative South and saw a very primitive, poverty stricken, violent poor man's existence exemplifying man's inhumanity to man all set up by local/state governments implementing legal and institutionalized racial - social restrictions all supported by the evangelical church who said the Bible justified a segregated society with no diversity of ideas and life styles, For some of those years, I was in the Navy and traveled the western world and saw countries struggling to recover from the destruction of WW II and appreciated the USA. But I needed social, economic and intellectual freedoms and moved to New York City where I found a completely different universe, even better than my Milwaukee growing up altruistic experiences.I am making the most of my time on Earth? I feel, for the most part, like I did at 50 (which I considered the strongest period in my life). I abhor the saying “I’m bored” as there are ALWAYS things to do such as reading, writing, researching and always learning, working in my wood shop and activities that many people hire others to do. Nothing is too mundane for me to find satisfaction in. Any vices should be infrequent and not permanently debilitating. The body WANTS to sustain and regenerate, so listen to it. I feel the cold much more. My temper has mellowed and my patience is more. I don't get riled up easily, except over today's divisive politics. I don't like the socialist leaning Democrats much and left the destructive Republican Party and am a social Libertarian now. My sight is slightly worse, but I can still drive safely without glasses, and can read a newspaper without glasses if the light is good. It takes me a bit longer to do serious brainwork. But I see no signs of real mental deterioration. Stuff I write gets published. My stamina has decreased. So far, no chronic aches and pains. Yes, minor injuries take a bit longer to heal, but nothing dramatic. The annoying feature is the need to pee more often: I carry around a rather precise mental map of public toilets or concealed spots when in urban areas.These are the best years of my life. Gone are the stress, competition and uncertainty. I have traded insecurity for wisdom and let me say, it feels wonderful. If you get to the end of your life with no regrets at all, you probably haven't lived that interesting a life. When your traveling days are done, you'll still wish you had taken just one more trip. Even people who had done a lot of globetrotting would wistfully say something like, "But I never got to Japan."My family members, military, work associates and friends keep passing away. Just recently two passed. When friends pass away, it is not just their presence that is lost, it is also the memories they have of you. The "Do you remember when...?" conversations that pepper the elderly reminiscences. Fear of death is actually rare and is commonly a joke. On the other hand, fear of losing one's memories, faculties, or independence is real. We put a great value on having people, who we can trust - especially to carry out wishes when we are gone. Making final decisions can be upsetting, particularly if they relate to young people who are distant in age and lifestyle yet close in relationship. One gets comfort from familiarity; the same cup; the same chair, the same view. One can be disturbed by the disruption or criticism of established habits. Having pets is a comfort, but caring for them can be increasingly difficult when joints get stiff, and even bending over is an effort.One of the most important things you can do to stay healthy in your golden years is to maintain your sense of purpose by staying connected to people and things that matter to you. However, this isn't always easy-especially in a society that all-too-often views older people as a burden. Visit your local senior center. Spend time with at least one person-a family member, friend or neighbor-every day. Volunteer in your community, attend a local event, join a club or take up a new hobby.Perhaps in some ways, one wants to leave the world as one entered it; without fear or pain; without anger or distrust; without possessions or debts; without demands or expectations; in innocence.As for me, bottom line, I am highly organized, very adventurous, a big risk taker, considered a "take no shit tough guy" who doesn't worry and has a positive attitude that hangs around with good friends and life styles and avoided situations and people that annoyed me and am in constant learning mode. There is my desire to leave one's mark; graffiti on the wall of time; an apt engraving on a tombstone or small plaque on a park bench, so I wrote books and stories about my life and commentaries on politics and religion.So, who are the Americans?There has been debate about this in recent times, but it still holds true. Anybody that lives in America is considered an American. Asians are Americans, Blacks are Americans, Indians are Americans, Whites are Americans, Arabs are Americans, and Italians are Americans. People can retain their home culture, but they dissolve into the large American society and are considered a part of it, not strangers or outsiders. If you would believe the media, you’d think there’s a race war going on and there’s an open season on black people. This is grade-A bullshit. I’ve traveled coast-to-coast, right through the Deep South, and people in general get along just fine pretty much everywhere. Sure, racism is a real thing, but it is not nearly as bad as they’d like you to believe. They just like to put the cameras on the scumbags of society like the KKK, Neo-Nazi’s, BLM, and Antifa. These assholes don’t represent the population, thankfully. Remember: news media is a for-profit business. All they give a shit about is ratings, and they’ve been caught by video-bloggers plenty of times fabricating and twisting stories. They are the main reason for the bullshit that’s been going on lately.Friendships seem to be one-dimensional. Most people live in bubbles. In my experience, your school friends remain your school friends. You may occasionally grab a bite to eat, but the topics of a conversation focus on school. Your sport friends remain your sport friends. Your work friends are simply your work friends and so on. Friends from one circle of life don’t automatically enter other circles or groups. Everything seems very isolated from each other. Friendships also don’t have such strong bonds. You may have some good childhood friends that you keep in touch with, but for the most part, people simply do not have a strong nucleus of friends that lasts forever. People veer to the extreme sides of things on almost everything. A good example is the way people look. There’s a lot of fat people and super-fit people in the USA, and not much in-between. Most of all, it’s an awesome place with a wide variety of people. Some of them are assholes, but most of them are great. Americans have a kind of happy excitement about them that I find very fun and pleasant. Europeans are generally a little more stoic compared to them.Remember the 1960s social revolution? Traditionalists feared and fought it, but it happened anyway with dramatic organizational and moral changes to society and government. Society changed for the better, with things like Civil Rights for African Americans and women. Today the civil rights battles are being fought for woman controlling their own bodies, homosexual rights, and immigrants being recognized as an asset rather than as a problem.Beneath the glorious and over fantasized “American Dream” is the harsh reality that Americans slog their back off to survive. On an average 35% Americans are doing more than one job, either to pay bills or to reach a level of a lifestyle that they aspire for. American Dream is not a fallacy. But Americans really want to work hard to achieve it. There is a charm to America, beautiful landscapes, and friendly people. But for all the stuff they talk about how great they are, seeing reality is actually really shocking! The people I met were genuine, friendly warm-hearted individuals. There are a lot of hugs and kisses. In my entire life I have seen people of different sex, even the married ones hugging or kissing all across the USA.Our American Values remain strong on several things, the absolute freedom of speech. Yes it is OK to offend people. Yes it is ok to make fun of people. Some so-called liberals are trying to change that but as of right now it is still ok. And yes freedom of speech gives you a right to be racist, anti-Semitic, etc. It is your right to be an a-hole. America is a huge country formed on immigration and consequentially is very diverse what with its different races, religions and ethnicities. America has always been considered strong on 'Rugged Individualism' and 'Self Reliance' and in its gut still retains these values in the 21st century. The belief in a small government and (for now) rejection of socialism, a system for the weak and needy while capitalism is a system for the strong and competent. The American dream is what makes’ US produce companies like Apple, Tesla, Google, etc. No other country comes close to the opportunities that US has. As John Steinbeck said “Socialism never took roots in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.”Polarized AmericaSomething is broken in the American political system again. The country is wallowing in pessimism and cultural conflict; Congress has an approval rate somewhere around 7 - 9 per cent and is useless as a governing body. For years technology has replaced blue-collar jobs and globalism has increased competitive pressures and painfully changed the rules for economic development. Now demigods push racial reasons like non-white immigration for the decline of the economic stability the average American. In today’s America, the predominant emotion among the majority of its citizens is dissatisfaction with not getting what they deserve, fear of the non white mixture brewing in America’s melting pot and anger with established political system. It happened before!The USA is overwhelmed now with left and right crybaby dissenters. They complain and blame instead of exhilarate! Anti everything ideologues coming from a racial blend of black or white, evangelical religious nuts, all uneducated to the issues but full of righteousness, they think the worst of everything. And they are ruining my America! You can easily recognize them right off the bat, they have an enemies list, lots of things they don't like, they have andUs or them' mentality. They believe they are right and non-believers are wrong, there can be no compromise, for their views are sacrosanct. And do we ever have demigods! They are not lovers of humanity, innovation, imagination, science, intellect, but are contented with extremism, fears and anxieties, their minds full of conspiracy, threats and end times. They have got us pegged too, to them you are either a socialist, immoral or the worst, someone who is an open minded 'Free Thinker' and believes modernity and in the First Amendment and wants to change the world for the better.Worst of all, in today’s America, we share, in any meaningful sense, frighteningly few moments together. I believe this is a large part of why our politics are so maddeningly deadlocked. Today, it appears that we have divided ourselves into ever-shrinking tribes into silos isolated by our own truths, which are encased in the bubble of our own self-serving realities. We are largely no longer the USA, but rather the Divided States of America.Even religion plays an ugly hand. Not a good guy anymore, but a firestorm builder. Once upon a time, the Christian faith had an overwhelming influence on every day life in America. But the evangelicals have soured the taste for religion what with their discrimination and fears towards others not like them. Contrary to popular belief, it was segregation — and not abortion — that mobilized the religious right in the 1960s and ‘70s. Conservative political activists worked to organize evangelicals around segregation as an issue of “religious freedom.” Today they organize to stop abortion and Gay Marriage. Evangelicals are also against non-white immigration, free trade, environment and global warming. Prior to the 1970s, the relationship between evangelical Christians and the Republican Party was negligible. In 2016, it’s hard to imagine a Republican party without its hard-core evangelical voting bloc.I thought America was well past its ugly past - you know that slavery, Jim Crow, Ku Klux Klan thing - and we had grown into a more moral and altruistic nation like we were founded to be . . . that shinning light on the hill that illuminated the glimmers of hope throughout the world that looked to us for inspiration, freedom, better things and ideas. Enter misogynist – bigoted – lying – cheating Trump. He is voted into office intent on punishing both the political establishment inside the country and its many outside enemies, scrubbing the pot clean of whatever ingredients are unappetizing to the ordinary folks in the majority, and reinstating the American dream: “Make America great again!” Trump’s promise to scrub the melting pot and reinstate white majority rule was the second reason why Americans voted for him. As he made quite clear during his campaign, he dismissed accepted social norms of “political correctness” toward any minority and, without caring about whether he was accused of racism, misogyny or bigotry, he spoke in the name of the majority of “the forgotten men and women of our country,” vowing that ordinary people who work hard should have a voice, pledging “I am your voice.”America is not perfect and we suffered though great changes, from southern slavery into being a free nation, we manifested ourselves as a liberal democracy, won two world wars, fought a Cold War against communism, won Civil Rights battles, led the world's free economy and were a nation of ideas for the good life and betterment of mankind. That was my America! We were always moving forward and setting an example. It was so easy to see the divide in the USA back then. I think that today these are the same 'bones' for our present day division. It's more subtle today, a cultural, governing, religious, economic divide . . . something like between communism/fascism and democracy. You could even call it our own "Cold War." It manifest in adjectives like optimism verses, pessimism, theocracy verses secularism, progress verses regression, freedom verses restrictions, absolutism and monolithicism verses diversity. But underneath it all were very unhappy and angry people exhibiting a creeping ugliness that was boiling away . . . e.g.: like the Christian Right working on getting the USA to be a theocracy and the removal of separation of church state, the rise of white nationalism, my way or the highway thinking by outlawing other peoples freedoms - born that way homosexuality and women's choice for abortion, practicing religion and voting like you want to, stopping immigration especially from non white or Muslim countries and a paranoia toward modernity and open minded critical thinking.These days we are fighting Islamic terrorism, gun violence and mass shooting at home, a horrific black on black crime wave, nasty populist movements across the world [and in the USA too] seeming to move toward fascism. Our major problems are trying to understand and work with the impacts of highly advancing technology and competitive globalism, the resulting weakening of the old economy and loss of good jobs and the shrinking of the middle class. And enter Donald Trump! He will make America great again! Trump is an ugly person with hateful messaging, he personifies the ugliness, the fear and anger, he feeds it, lives off it, enables ugliness to being the new normal, which is seriously diminishing the greatness of the USA. Our bright light is dimming and only fervently glows now. What we need is a leader who shows us to create the new high tech economy the most people can succeed in.Yes, I have concerns; I think [in general] our government has gotten bloated, bureaucratic fat and sloppy. We have corrupt ideological politicians who work for their own selfish ends and not for the good of the country. There are too many people and corporations on the dole and even looking for more handouts (benefits and tax breaks), some actually expecting bailouts from the government. That includes the unethical "To big to fail" banks, protected government [oxymoron] workers getting can't be fired security with platinum benefits, the Wall Street mentality where anything goes to make a buck, health care that cost to much and provides limited results and misses the poor (we need a single payer system like Europe), the Christian Right that exhibits the worst bigotries, the South looking like the confederacy again and loving it, the bloated military industrial complex - its become a safety net jobs program e.g.: we don't need any more M1 Tanks, southern cultural backwardness Bible Belt mentality that loves the 19th century and is afraid of scientific modernity and social progress.Food is cheap and comes in huge portions. I once ordered a chili and tortilla dish at a simple Mexican restaurant for $6.5. It was huge - I couldn’t even finish half of it, and I am a person with a big appetite. In Israel you would pay more than this for half the amount of food at the same quality. The same goes to all restaurants I went to. Food is cheap, and comes in huge portions. Fast food restaurants are all over the place. Political satire: The late night show hosts mock, question the residents of highest offices on national television and make money. I can't imagine the same happening in India.Flags, flags, flag. Everywhere. It’s like no one in US would know which country they are living in if they didn’t put US flags on every square foot of their porch, front lawn, a cemetery, shopping malls . . . Exception to confederate flags - those folks are proving they don’t know which country they are living in. Or maybe they do. There was this one huge flag, probably almost the size of a house, in Interstate-5, with a sign, "GOD BLESS AMERICA. Support our troops!" In the South, religion is in your face and mixed up with everything. Everywhere. Only in US have I seen “Jesus is Lord” sign under “Mike’s furniture” or bible verses on store flyers. In your face and everywhere, just like the flag.Homeless people. They are everywhere. They stay in public spaces and use toilets at fast food restaurants. Too weird to me. The poverty in cities, so many homeless people with absolutely nothing and suffering from severe addiction and mental health issues. And at least in the cities I visited most of them were black. I didn’t expect that from a wealthy country and it was quite upsetting. You don’t get that scale of poverty in most of Europe.So what happened to my country? We used to be the world's leader and now we follow the devil incarnate. We are terribly divided and our government is totally dysfunctional. What is next?Being a Good ManWhat does it mean to be a 'good man?' For me, it means being strong, honest, willing to learn, compassionate, tolerant, and more than anything, loving to all and with a sense of humor. Notice I did not say religious here, so many of the 'religious' types I have met are ignorant, judgmental, mean spirited and unforgiving - and then of course, are we talking about any religion (I have known good men who were Jews, Muslims, Hindus and Sikhs), or just the Christian religion, I think you would be going down hill there, their track record is not so good in the south, so I think religion has nothing to do with being a good man for many people. For some, yes, but I have seen the some of meanest people call themselves Christian. Those Duck Dynasty folks, there's the kind I am talking about, just because they say Christian prayers everyday does not say they are good Christians, they are racist, homophobic and ignorant people. They sound like the Ku Klux Klan types I ran into in the south during the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s. I almost died when our pastor called them out from the pulpit as Christina people he extolled as good people. Ugh, give me a break. And talking about religion, when you go back to our founders, Jefferson, Madison, Washington, Franklin, etc., they were all good men. Some owned slaves but that was what the times were like back then. Madison knew slavery was wrong and was ready to give it up except the rest of the southerners were not. The moral to that story is that good men are not perfect, they are subject to their historical perspective of the time they lived in, so they have faults too, but they must be willing to change to be counted good men. And what causes change; I would suggest 'enlightenment' and the ability to integrate ideas. I call it the 'decent' bone in your body! Some people never change, their culture is too regressive or they are too stupid.I think Martin Luther King was a good man. I will add Jack Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson in the bunch to; they tried to change things for the better at great risk to their personal well being. While I am at it, I will add my dad in there too! And my uncles, most of my Navy buddies, now, that's the type I call good men! When you think about it, the list gets pretty big fast - there is lots of good men out there. There are a lot of people these days, especially in the evangelical south, that think that religion will change things for the better. Well, it should but hasn't, more hate and segregation have been generated by religion than any other reason.