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I refer to my patients by their last names, preceded by the appropriate honorific. This is not grade school. I was raised in formal address, Ma’am and Sir.The only time I use a first name is in the waiting room to call a patient, since last names are private when others may overhear.I really don’t call patients by their first names, as a rule. I also introduce myself as Dr Chai. Interestingly, due to the proliferation of APRNs, people use my first name often. Because the nurses go by their first name and I am female like that.Still waiting to get equal respect as younger men who could not begin to touch my credentials or ability. Oh well. I don’t dwell on it.

It depends on the doctor.You must take your cue by how your doctor addresses YOU.If your doctor says, “Hi, Firstname! I am Firstname!” Then you should use first names. This doctor is casual.If your doctor says, “Hello, Mr. Lastname! I am Dr. Lastname!” Then you should use last names. This doctor is formal.If your doctor says, “Hello, Firstname! I am Dr. Lastname!” Then either your doctor is a pediatrician or an asshole.I am formal. I use last names of people with whom I am in a professional relationship. I call workers at the store “Sir” or “Ma’am” even when their name tag is embroidered with their first name. This, in my (possibly regional and possibly old fashioned) opinion, is a sign of respect. I would NEVER call an ADULT by their first name unless they say, “Please, call me “Firstname!” This is ANY adult. It has nothing to do with their societal status. At work, the nurses and MAs are referred to by their first names, which is a way that the patient can figure out who is the doctor. This is a corporate mandate, not my personal choice.Also, many people refer to WOMEN doctors by their first name, and MEN doctors by “Dr. Lastname.” This always feels like sexism to us.

Doctor should call the patient: “Mr.” or “Ms.” followed by the last name. If the patient is gender neutral, it is okay to call the patient “First name, Last name.” Another appropriate gender neutral appellation is “M.” followed by the last name. Upon entering the room, the physician would say, “Em Smith? This is Doctor Jones.”Patient should call the doctor: “Dr.” followed by the last name. The patient will reply, “Hello Doctor Jones. Pleasure to meet you.”These are the dictates of common respect and formality that are appropriate for all adults in the professional community.The only time you may use someone’s first name is: 1-the person is a child; 2-the person is your friend; 3-the person says, “Please call me by my first name!” As a physician, I would probably even address pediatric patients as “Miss” or “Master.” But in pediatrics, it is okay to use the first name of the patient. I personally cannot stand being called by my first name by a healthcare provider.If you do not know the name of the person, the correct way to address another adult is: 1-Ma’am; 2-Sir.The end. Full stop.