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My GI doctor kicked me out.So here is the story. I have chronic heartburn for several years now, and the reason I finally decided to see a doctor was because I was having chest pain when I swallowed certain foods, primarily red meat and/or big bites of food.I have health insurance at work and there is a list of doctors that are part of the insurance plan, so they have a limit on how much they can charge you for the consultation fee. Once you have reached a certain amount of expenses, you request a refund from the insurance company. But they will only refund you what they authorize, which is the maximum fee they should be charging you.When I went to see the GI, I was expecting an endoscopy, but he preferred a barium swallow test. i asked why an endoscopy was not needed, he said they are usually more expensive. That shouldn’t be a reason because my insurance covers it. But ok, I will get the barium swallow test. Once I left his office to pay, the secretary charged me more than the insurance limit. I explained to her what my insurance said, and she said she didn’t know any of that. She has never had that issue and everyone always pays the same fee. Um, ok. It’s fine. I paid.I had the barium swallow test, and the results showed I had a hiatal hernia with a Schatzki ring and grade 2 heartburn. After I told my family, apparently my dad also has it but has no symptoms, and my brother also has the same thing but he ended up in the hospital and had to have surgery since his esophagus was very damaged. I figured the GI doctor would tell me I needed surgery as well. I was tired of suffering daily for 7 years and the pain from swallowing red meat was getting worse.When the GI doctor saw my test results, he was in shock of how much heartburn I had and asked me how I felt with the medicine he gave me, which was acid suppression medication. I said it made me feel a little better but I still had some mild heartburn and chest pain. So he said he is going to duplicate my dose and prescribe it for 3 months. He explained the different types of medication there are, and that he does not recommend surgery, and if I do decide I want surgery, to not come back to his office, and not even mention his name. I was in shock of why he would say that. I asked why it was not an option, if my brother had surgery and had the same issues. He explained the many complications of hiatal hernia surgery and said he will not operate, and again repeated to never come back if I do.I tell him “ Ok , fine you don’t want to operate, you want to give me more medicine, fine. But what about the schatzky ring? It is causing me more and more pain”. He said “well we will have to do an endoscopy”.At this moment, there was already a lot of tension, of course I was upset because of how he was talking to me and he turns around and says “You seem uncomfortable”. And I said “How honest, doctor” And he said “yes, I am very straightforward and that is just the way I am”.I said “fine, just please give me my prescription and fill out my insurance form”. He turned around and said “you know what, you are uncomfortable and so am I. Please leave my office, you don’t have to pay. Just leave” I said “No, I am not leaving until you fill out my insurance forms so I can get reimbursed for all the medicine, exams and fees I have already paid” He said No, I will not fill out anything, please leave.I call my insurance rep already in tears and tell her that I am with the GI doctor and I got upset because he was being rude and now he won’t fill out my form and is kicking me out of his office. She asked to speak with him and he puts her on speaker phone. She asks what is going on and he tells her that I am trying to get him to operate on me and he will not accept something he does not recommend. I said that it wasn’t true, I only asked why it was not recommended and you said if I did do it to never come back. My insurance rep tries talking to him and explains that since he is part of the insurance plan, he is required to fill out my paperwork so I can get all my fees reimbursed. He said he will fill it out if I pay the consultation. I told him “I never said I would not pay, you are the one that said to not pay and leave”. So he agrees to fill out the paperwork, but my insurance rep still on speakerphone says that I should remind them that he should be charging me only what the insurance policy states, he should not overcharge me. Then the doctor says “No no no, I don’t want any more problems. I am not filling out anything, so please leave my office”.My insurance rep tells me to file a complaint and not to worry. I get up to leave and tell him that doctors get fired from the insurance company for these type of things, and you know what he does? He acts like a child and says “Ooooooh” while holding his hands up, like saying “look, I am sooo scared”. I leave the doctor’s office in tears and my husband outside is worried and asks what happens. I tried to explain and said that the doctor kicked me out and refused to fill out my paperwork. My husband went back in, I thought he was going to be my hero and defend me, but again the doctor lied and said I was trying to get him to operate so my husband accepted his answer and left. Wow.I filed a complaint with the insurance company, changed GI doctors and filed my paperwork. I got reimbursed for everything except the first doctor’s fees. I needed his paperwork to get his fees back, I had already accepted that I probably wasn’t going to get it. But after the complaint, the insurance company tried contacting the doctor to get him to fill the paperwork. He said he would but he never did. So the insurance company fired him from the plan and they are now processing the reimbursement of his fees even without the paperwork.At first I thought I did something wrong. That maybe I provoked the doctor. At least that is what I felt my husband thought of me. But after talking it over and after the complaint and talking with the insurance rep, I understood it was not my fault and I did the right thing. She also said there have been other abusive doctors but hardly anybody wants to file a complaint. They just keep quiet. Only 2 other people have filed complaints and she was glad I did, she was glad I spoke up.

This happened to me once. I was debating with my wife about where to go for dinner. We were parked in the parking lot, in our SUV. An older black Dodge Durango parks next to us. All of a sudden we hear a bang and the whole car shakes. I hop out, and this little 7 year old kid had thrown open his door and smacked our car. There was a small dent with a paint chip. The mom was on the other side getting the baby out of the car.At first I thought, he’s just a kid. But then I looked at the corner of the door that smacked our car and it was so worn down, slightly bent, and completely stripped of paint. How many cars has this kid smacked with that door? Does the mom even care? Does she even know?I needed to get the mom to realize that letting her kid do that was not ok. My kids know to gently open the car doors and if they don’t listen we put the child lock on. Maybe she needs a mini van? But when I told this mom what happened, she brushed it off as if it was no big deal. I told her I wanted her insurance information. She got all nervous and went to look for it. Apparently she called her husband and he told her to call the cops. She waited in the car for 15 minutes for the cops to show up. They finally arrived and we filled out an insurance exchange form. We went our separate ways.I filed a claim with her insurance and the repair for the small door ding came to be close to $800. Hopefully she is more aware of her kid and he has learned to open doors slower, being aware of other vehicles.

I thought I was prepared. I thought it would be a victory lap. I thought I would feel happy, and relieved… That’s not what happened. Even though they still said “Congratulations Dr. Lapierre-Landry!”May 10thI finally got the OK from my advisor to start scheduling my defense. I had six faculty members on my committee, and I had been told over and over again how “The hardest part of defending is scheduling the actual defense!”At the time, I was ready to say “those people were right!” I was trying to schedule something for the summer, and most of my committee members were going to be travelling or attending conferences for most of it. I remember just staring at this Doodle calendar as every week of every month was slowly getting filled in. I was losing hope I would be able to graduate in the summer semester, and there was nothing I could do about it.May 25thAfter two weeks of agony (or so it felt like it), there finally was one single day, July 5th, where it looked like everyone on my committee would be able to make it. I officially confirmed it via email. I booked one of the really nice auditorium. I booked my flight ticket and a hotel room (I had been living out-of-state for years at that point).I remember thinking “Alright, the hard part is over!”June 21stWriting my thesis felt like birthing a child after a really successful and healthy pregnancy. And by that I mean: “Why is it so painful and so uncomfortable to push out this amazing thing that I’ve created, that I love, and that will be beautiful once it’s out?”This was a thesis-by-published-work, meaning the central part was made out of papers I had already written and published, and I “just” had to write a long intro chapter + conclusion to wrap it all up. And gosh! Was… it… painful…!Just staring at the page thinking: “I don’t have anything nice to say about you anymore, ok? I’ve said it all already!”But I did it. I wrote the thing. It was good. I sent it out to my committee members.June 30thI had two weeks to work on the actual powerpoint presentation for my defense. Expected format: ~40 minutes. Expected audience: Department faculty members, fellow grad students, friends and family, committee members.Now here’s a thing I know about myself: I can make a kick-ass presentation. I can put together really polished slides. I can create really good looking figures. And I can get on that stage, smile, look confident, and go through the whole thing like I own the place. I can even crack some jokes sometimes!So I actually enjoyed the process. I had a bank of previously used slides I had made over the years, and that gave me time to create some new, even better ones for certain sections.I practiced the talk in front of my lab a few times and got really good comments.I thought: “I got this!”July 4thIt was the day before my defense. I flew into the city where my university is. I recognized my old neighborhood, the restaurants I used to go to. I met up with friends, and said “hi” to the new people in the department. My parents arrived later in the evening, and it was great to see them.I thought “I’m ready.” I looked at my slides one last time. I really did know my stuff.Even though it was July 4th in the U.S. I went to bed really early. The big day was coming up!July 5th - The day of the defenseI really didn’t sleep well. Nonsensical dreams about arriving late to my defense and whatnot. I was just happy it was the morning and I could get out of bed.After breakfast I went to check out the auditorium, and tested the projector, the microphone, my computer. I was fairly calm. Everything was going according to plan.In the afternoon, I went to get changed. It was a new outfit and I thought it made me look really smart.My friends came in. They had brought cookies and snacks for the audience, which was great. Tons of students from the department came and I was just really happy I wouldn’t be presenting in front of an empty room.At 1pm, it started.I’m a good presenter, and I had a really good set of slides to present. This was a big room and a big audience, and I was just really excited to present my work. It all went well.After 40 minutes of presentation, I got a few easy questions from the audience. I thanked everyone, and then the audience stepped out. It was time to answer questions from my committee.This part is a blur.I remember answering questions really calmly, with a smile. I remember saying things like “this is a really interesting question!” or “Yes, we actually tried that, it’s great that you’re bringing it up!”But the whole thing felt like people attacking the beautiful baby I had just given birth to. I know that’s not what my committee members were doing. I know they were just asking questions like any other committee would do. I know they were not trying to be mean.But it felt like I had to graciously tell people to stop kicking my baby and to just let me rest after this long and difficult birthing process.I didn’t like that part very much.After what turned out to be an hour and a half of questions, my committee asked me to step out. I just felt so drained, so fragile, so stressed, so overwhelmed, so shaky…I stepped out and my parents and my friends were there, just waiting for me. I said “it went well” and it was time to wait.Five minutes later, one of my committee member came out and said “do you have Form XYZ for us to fill out?”And I don’t know why, but that’s what made me crack.See, I had printed a bunch of forms for them to fill out, but apparently nobody had told me I needed ONE MORE form, and now we didn’t have the form, it wasn’t there, they couldn’t fill it, and that was that.And even though it wasn’t a big deal, for me it was. As if after all this work, all this preparation, all of what I had given… there was… this missing form… because nobody had thought to tell me about it.I just couldn’t handle it. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t. It became really hard not to start crying.In the end it was fine. They just said I could get the form filled out later. They all came out. They said “Congratulations Dr. Lapierre-Landry!” and gave me a copy of my dissertation with comments written in it.Everybody cheered.My lab mates had decorated a conference room, and there was champagne and cookies.I was just shaking, and trying not to cry.I didn’t feel relieved. I didn’t feel happy. All I could think was “Don’t cry, it’s going to make people uncomfortable.”All the stress I had been bottling up was coming out in a series of unforgiving waves. Apparently I had been stressed all this time. I didn’t even know.I kinda kept a straight face for the rest of the evening. I even (maybe, a little bit) had a good time as I went out to celebrate. I was just trying not to think.I didn’t sleep well at all. I hadn’t read any of the comments my committee had given me yet, and all night I dreamt that they were asking me to re-do half my experiments and that I would never actually graduate. It was just really difficult to find some sleep.July 6thI woke up, and the first thing I did is read the comments my committee left me. The vast majority of them were formatting comments. Things like “there should be a space here,” or “Add a page break here.” A small minority of comments were some helpful writing suggestions, like “this paragraph could be clearer,” or “a citation would be helpful here.”I felt somewhat relieved. Still felt weird, overwhelmed, shaky. But it was ok. I was going to be alright.July 30thIt took me three weeks before I was even able to start working on my thesis again. Three weeks of staying home, taking time off, watching TV, spending time on Quora, and just overall taking a well-deserved rest.Addressing the (very minor, but still) comments I had received was like pulling teeth. It was like asking me, three weeks after having birthed my metaphoric baby if I would like to watch the birthing video. And I didn’t want to.But I did go back to make the changes. And it was ok. And it made the whole text better anyway.I eventually submitted all the paperwork. And a month later I got my degree.Doctor of Philosophy.It took me approximately six months to start feeling happy and proud of my accomplishment. Now a year later, I feel good about it. I think I’m pretty awesome for what I’ve accomplished.Still, not the happiest of experiences.