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That you cannot always protect your pupils.A 9 year old girl disclosed to me that she had been sexually abused by her grandfather. Her grandparents lived overseas and were due to arrive within days so that her own parents could go on a pilgrimage to Mecca.She was terrified, not for herself alone, but for her younger sister who was of the age that she was, when first abused.The courage it took for this child to disclose to me was extraordinary- she had never told anyone and would not have told anyone if it was not for her love for her younger sister.As the designated person in the school for child protection I immediately alerted social services. They told me to inform the parents (as we, the school has an already existing relationship with them), which I did, but to make a (VERY) long story short, nothing was done and the parents went away on their pilgrimage and left both girls in the care of their grandparents. I tried everything to get the girls out of there including asking if they could stay with me, but was refused by social services and the family.The parents moved the girls to another school shortly thereafter and said that they would take legal action against me if I ever contacted them again.This was many years ago now, when I was a Deputy Head- about 26 or 27 years? I have never forgotten those precious girls and that lesson.Educators, medics, police- we all suspect, see and are told about abuse, but the ‘rights’ of parents always come first- not the rights of children, sadly. It's a very sad truth and a hard lesson to learn.

First of all, it was not an official visit. Meghan felt like going to the school so she went and took all her security with her creating problems for the school. What problems? Some of the kids who went out for lunch couldn’t enter the school without their IDs. There were lots of parents complaining about their children being left out from school. It’s ok, Meghan got her picture:Did she get written consent from the parents to take this pic? How far in advance were the parents informed of this visit? From their reporting, nothing. If my child's image is used without my permission, I would be upset. I wonder how the parents will handle this inconvenience with the Principal as denying children's entrance so a celebrity can stage a photo does not look good. Meghan was not supposed to be there, the students were and it’s not ok to use children as props:About the boy, I would not like a stranger to touch my children either, but that it’s up to his parents. The boy didn’t seem to mind her tight embrace. My opinion only.

My daughter claimed she wanted to talk to people who knew English and hoped to speak out against the governments that censor their words. Honestly, I don’t buy it, it sounds ridiculous, but she’s never done anything bad before. And she’s just 16.Answers on this question seem to be misfocused.It doesn’t matter if she or the parent suggested which places people are oppressed. The concept is, the 16 year old is using something in such a way that her parent was able to see her do it, and responded that she was using this to talk to people who knew English and hoped to speak out against their censoring governments.Here’s the thing: a 16 year old who is savvy enough to even be on Tor, is savvy enough to not get caught doing it, if she thought she was doing anything wrong.A teen who has a parent who claims she has never done anything bad before, is a teen who should have earned more respect than the parent is showing.So, the parent doesn’t buy it.Parents don’t “get” a lot of things teens choose to do.Their music doesn’t fit the style of the parents, the novels they read, the shows they watch, the clothes they wear may all diverge from the style of the parents.None of that makes them “bad” even if it might make them “ridiculous.”Could this 16 year old be entering into an activity that is ridiculous? Might she utterly fail at accomplishing what she set out to do? She might.But if she was set on doing something “bad” she would never have let her parent catch her. How do I know that? Because the parent states the teen has “never done anything bad before.” Which means she is either a serious goody-two-shoes (she might be), or she is perfect at not getting caught.THAT is all we need to know to prove that the teen is not planning something shady.Meanwhile, in two years that “kid” is going to be legal. If she is going to get herself into trouble, better to do it while she is still a minor, and the parents can still save her.Lay down the law now, and Miss Goody Two Shoes might actually do as her parent tells her, then explode onto the scene as an 18 year old with no experience dealing with making a real mess.THAT is NOT what we parents want for our kids.Enough arguing whether or not China is a repressed country. It is irrelevant to this question! Focus on the 16 year old, the future that is only two years away, the relationship between parent and kid, and the history that brings them to this moment.For the parent to feel like there is a problem here, is not outrageous. For the parent to respond to this potential problem by assuming the daughter has suddenly taken to being stupid enough to get caught doing something dastardly in her own home, when she never has done so before, is a reflection of the parent’s uneasy feelings about the daughter growing up.Maybe the parent has seen too much silly fantasy about Tor. Maybe this is a knee jerk panic, that has already calmed down, and the parent is already embarrassed for responding in such a disrespectful way to their daughter. Maybe the daughter is “just 16” and the parent has forgotten how old a 16 year old feels. Or, maybe the parent remembers it all too well.My advice to the parent is to make sure the daughter understands to never send photos of herself to anyone she does not know in person. By 16, I assume she already knows to not give out her personal contact information to strangers.And the rest of my advice, is let your 16 year olds make mistakes now. There will never be a safer time. 18 year olds aren’t particularly more savvy, but they are much more bold, and much more at risk (legally).If my child told me he or she was interested in reaching out to oppressed people, I’d ask them to show me how that worked! How totally fascinating! What an awesome idea for a teen to come up with.Save the parental griping for staying out all night without notice, dropping grades, dangerous friends, drugs and alcohol, suddenly having too much money, and the like.Tor in a 16yo’s bedroom, where the parent can see, is the least of one’s worries.She let you see, she answered your question. Treat her with the same respect she seems to be showing you. Anything less is asking for trouble where there isn’t any.