Year 8 Parents' & Carers' Evening February 2016: Fill & Download for Free

As a female and having lived through that time of life, I’d have to say co-operate with your parents wishes because there is a method to this behavior of theirs. We now live in times of absolute crazy. The most innocent of get together can end in drugs and guns. Parents just can’t feel comfortable anymore. Even the kid with the best intentions can end up in a situation they can’t control. The reality is nobody can predict the logic of a teen and how they will react to situations they are inexperienced with. It would be prudent to embark upon this gradually while you build both you and your parents’ confidence with how you handle things and the development of your judgement.We have come a long way from times when females went nowhere without a chaperone. That was wise because no girl was ever taken advantage of and the fellow always respected her. We’ve evolved to the day when pre-teens (babies) are getting intimate in school hallways with et al. So, here we are at the age of 13 when you are just realizing your first year as a teen and your parents are terrified. Can you blame them? You are going to be a teen in a very difficult time for them to keep you safe. I am sure you are confident with your ability to adapt. That’s typical of a teen. However, just remember - you are a rookie. You don’t know all the dangers that lurk in just being alone with safe friends. It’s those that interlope that can take the whole “going out with your friends” a calamity. You don’t know what a safe situation really is with people you know well. Sleep overs are actually dangerous. Teens don’t know of the dangers that lurk there; yet, they will argue the safety of it into the ground.Here are a few great examples:When I was 14 my friend and I were invited to go to a mutual friend’s cottage for a month. Of course, my Mum refused to let me go. My other 14 year old friend’s parents allowed her to go. So, two of my friends were allowed to be together and I had to stay home. I cried all month about how cruel my Mum was over this decision. She did not want to tell me her worst fears. She just hoped she was wrong with her spidey sense.When my friends returned I noticed my friend who was lucky to get to go along seemed different. I thought she was annoyed with me for not going with them. A month later I heard she went to stay with her Aunt in another province. I was really upset over that. The other friend seemed to avoid me. In one month I lost two friends. I blamed my Mom.The following summer, my Aunt asked my Mum to allow me to go to a cottage and be a companion to her grand daughter. We were the same age. Since my Mum knew the people I was allowed to go she felt it was a safe situation. The first night all my illusions were broken. I was expected to share a bed with the girl and as young as she was I discovered she was a lesbian. I spent my first night fighting her off. I was mortified because at 15 I didn’t even know what sex was. I raged on at her calling her names and my Aunt came into the room to separate us. I did not know how to tell my Aunt what her grand daughter was trying to do to me. So I spent the month on the sofa and in the most unfriendly of environments. My Aunt never knew what transpired. She just presumed we were opposite personalities.When I returned home I explained it all to my Mum. She was outraged. That’s when she told me a parent can never be sure of your safety, so it’s best not to let you go. She thought people she knew would be a guaranteed of my safety; but it apparently wasn’t. That’s because you don’t even know friends you think you can trust with your kids.Then, Mum told me she was right not to let me go to the cottage with my other two friends. That’s when I found out my friend who left the province had sex with the father of her friend. She thought she was in love with him. Actually, they fooled around that whole month without anyone finding out. After returning home she discovered she was pregnant. Men didn’t get arrested in those days. Everyone wanted to keep it on the QT to keep families together. Years later, I discovered my friend went away to have an abortion so she could continue with school. Abortions were illegal in those days, so it was all covered up for decades. My mother never believed in sleepovers after that. She knew she would not put her trust in anyone but herself. She trusted nobody with her child.Now, you may say you are just going out with friends. However, at 13 you haven’t developed enough savvy to even know what trouble your best friend can be involved in. You are still very vulnerable and naive. You don’t think you are; but, from what I just described - picture yourself in those situations and how you would handle that happening to you.In the time I grew up kids were running free from as young as 11 years old. We played in huge gangs of kids. At least 10 of us played ball, hide and go seek, go to the movies and swimming. We were all together and there was a certain amount of safety in numbers against predators. However, that did not prevent one of us getting getting pursued by a paedophile. It did not prevent some of the group trying to cause mischief at a Chinese restaurant. We were all chased by the owner with a butcher knife. Two of the group decided to shop lift and the whole gang of us was rounded up for the police. I could go on and on. These were my lifelong friends; but, they got us all in the soup often. Today, the trouble one can get into is a lot more serious with drugs and guns. You may like these people; but, at 13 you don’t really know who they are in their own minds. You also can’t control the behavior of others. But, with more experience you can make better decisions on friends and alerts to potential problems. That comes only with maturity.If I were you I would be happy to have groups of your friends over for pizza or maybe a BBQ; or, just casually to have some soda. Have a Christmas buffet at your house for friends and maybe Halloween as well. Be where your parents can see you. It may not feel like the way you want to do it; but, you can get to see your friends and any friends will show up for food. Just make that arrangement with your folks and I am sure they will agree to that. You won’t be 13 forever. At least you will learn how to be a good host to your friends. Any true friend will understand this. You may not be able to join them yet but it gives you time to mature and learn more about human nature and how true friends represent themselves to you. It’s all good.

You have failed to provide the one piece of information that is actually relevant to your decision.Do you want to marry him?If the answer to that question is “no”, then it doesn’t matter what your parents think and you should tell them (politely) to go soak their collective heads. If they try to raise the issue again, tell them the subject is closed and you will not discuss it any further.From the way you phrase your question, I get the distinct impression you do not want to marry this guy. If you don’t want to marry him, then you need to tell your parents to bug off. You have absolute veto power over potential spouses, and you need to assert it.There’s another question I would also like the answer to.Does he want to marry you?The only information you have provided is that two people who don’t get a vote — i.e., your parents — believe it would be a good idea for you and this guy to get married.The question you should be asking is not what the people who don’t get a vote would like to see happen. You should be asking what the people who do get a vote would like to see happen. The only people who get a vote are you and the guy.

Do it. My mom made me do it every summer I can remember. I hated it. I wanted to lay around be lazy or play video games but no I always had pages to do first. It helped though because when the school year came I had a better understanding than all my peers. I didn't feel lost and I did fairly well in terms of grades.Plus, it won't take you the whole day and you can still do fun stuff.