Kissimmee & Lakefront Park: Fill & Download for Free

I served in the British Armed forces for 22 years and as a consequence I’m quite well traveled and have seen many a strange thing. I’ve seen construction workers monkey swinging off a crane in Spain, I’ve seen two men sword fighting after a disagreement in Tunisia and I’ve seen women selling themselves for Walkman batteries in Kenya, but I don't think anything I’ve seen overseas was stranger than this.A few years myself and my family went on our Summer holiday in Florida and we stayed in Kissimmee.Whilst there I went to Burger King with my family and as they took a seat I joined the queue at the counter.All of a sudden there was a huge crash as a man with a shotgun kicked open the main doors, ran to the counter and screamed “Give me all the money”.At this point instead of the guy behind the counter acting on this, instead of reaching for the cash to give him, he just gently said “come on, get out of my store”.With that the guy with the shotgun simply turned about and calmly walked out of the store.I asked the guy behind the counter aren’t you going to report him to the police and he said “no he’s the local idiot, he does this several times a week”.I’ve no idea if this sort of thing is a commonplace occurrence in Florida but the whole experience absolutely astounded me…

In the days before air conditioning, life in Florida was pretty brutal. To combat the heat early settlers built what became known as the Florida cracker house.A cracker house has a raised floor for wind flow (which also addresses the issue of flooding), double-hung windows that can be opened from the bottom to let in the breeze and from the top to let out the heat, high ceilings with overhead fans, and deep porches, often wrapped around the entire house, to both provide shade and to funnel the breeze into the windows. They also generally have a ‘dog trot’ hallway from the front door to the back, allowing for better airflow.It is often made from local cypress, which is termite resistant.Traditional Florida cracker style homeReconstructed farm house in TallahasseeLanier House in Kissimmee, FloridaThe Plumb house in ClearwaterA modern cracker inspired Florida beach homeBrillhart house in Miami, a contemporary cracker houseA History of Central Florida series (Cracker House)

.Miserable.One stands out: the man who lived in a tent.This man lived outside Kissimmee, Florida, about 20 miles south of Disney World.He was calling Social Security’s 800 line. I was the faceless bureaucrat on the other end. In a normal work day I handled an unending stream of calls: problems—some severely complex—questions and occasionally a flaming rant: “You people in the gub’ment think you can just—”It was fascinating—when it wasn’t a bureaucratic slog.This call was in 2008, just after The Great Recession began. To the best of my recollection, the call went like this:M = MeC = CallerA tone sounded in my headset signaling a new caller had come on the line:M: Social Security. How may I help you?C: Hey, man, I didn’t get my check.M: Sorry to hear that. Let’s confirm your address.C: Actually it’s my next door neighbor’s address.M: Uh—why’s that?C: I don’t have an address ’cause I’m living in a tent out in the woods.M: [pause] Camping out?C: No, man. It’s where I live. My home. I don’t have family.M: I see. OK, let’s check the neighbor’s address. [We do. All fine. I trigger a replacement check.]C: How long’s the replacement gonna take?M: Mmm, three to four days. Have enough to live on ’til then?C: Yeah.M: So-o-o, how’re you calling me? Cell phone?C: No. Had to give it up. My neighbor. I live in the woods near him. If I didn’t have him, I’d be f***ed. He lets me use his phone and address. Plus a shower once a week. Other stuff. He’s a real decent dude.M: OK, it’s none of my business, but how did you end up in that tent.C: When the economy fell off a cliff [late 2007] my house went underwater. It was worth less than the mortgage. I had to just…walk away.M: Any other income?C: Just the Social.M: [!] I see. I’m looking at your benefit amount. You may qualify for something called SSI, Sup—C: Already tried that.M: I see. What about a shelter?C: Get real, man! Shelters have bugs, people steal your stuff. No, I’m all set with shelters. It’s like you just said: I’m camping out. I actually kinda like it. [His tone said otherwise]M: Great. And good thing you’re in Kissimmee, Florida, not Nome, Alaska.C: [laughs] You got that right! So, three to four days you think…?M: Yeah. The system’s pretty good about getting replacements out. Well…I wish you the best of luck, sir. I sure hope your circumstances improve.C: Yeah, thanks. [mirthless laugh] So do I. Bye.Another tone sounded in my headset. The next caller came hurtling on the line, breathless, something complex. But I had difficulty paying full attention to them. I was thinking about that man in his tent….