Roommate Agreement Sample - Home Of My Own: Fill & Download for Free

If you’re gonna let somebody stay with you rent free you need to have an exit strategy in place or you’re going to get stuck with a dependent instead of a friend. Start by having a very clear end date to your generosity of letting them stay there rent free. Such as today is February 11 you can stay here until April 11th rent free but after that I’m gonna need you to chip in.Mind you this is only if you actually want to have a roommate otherwise you need to make it very clear that they can’t stay past a certain point. My mom used to call me the patron saint of strays, because whether it was animals, people, or causes, I was always coming home with something or somebody who needed help. 99.7% of the time I wound up the bad guy when I finally had to draw the line and tell them that it wasn’t a never ending free-for-all and that I couldn’t support them for the rest of my life did they have any plans to go get a job or get off the street or I don’t know help around the house a little.Here's a template you can cut and paste. I got it offFree Online Legal Form & Document Creator | Legal TemplatesText Template – just copy and paste!This Roommate Agreement (this “Agreement”) is made as of ____/____/_____, by and between the roommates listed below (each a “Roommate” and collectively the “Roommates”). The Roommates are tenants at the premises located at (the “Premises”):Street Address: ______________________________________________________City: ________________________State: _______________________ Zip: _______Term of Lease – From: _____/_____/___________ To: _____/_____/___________Security Deposit: The total security deposit under the Lease is __________. Each Roommate is responsible for his or her share of the security deposit as described above, and will receive his or her share of the security deposit minus any amount applied by the Landlord after the termination of the Lease.Utilities: The rent includes __________________ as part of each payment. The utilities not included in the rent will be shared by the Roommates according to the following arrangement:Parking: The Roommates are entitled to park their vehicles on the Premises per the following instructions:Legal Considerations:Will the Roommates purchase Renters Insurance: No _______ Yes ______Insurance Company: __________________ Signer: ________ Monthly Rate: ______Damages: Each Roommate is responsible for any damage to the Premises caused by him or her including his or her guests. If there is damage that cannot be reasonably traced back to a particular Roommate, the cost of the damage will be shared equally by all the Roommates.Early Termination: A Roommate may terminate this Agreement before the end of the lease term if he or she gives ______ months notice and assists in finding a replacement Roommate.Shared Costs: The Roommates will evenly split all costs for items used by all the Roommates and placed in common areas, unless otherwise agreed upon.Shared Property: All shared property will be paid for evenly, unless otherwise agreed upon. At the end of the lease term or when the Roommates terminate this Agreement, shared property will be split between the Roommates, or a Roommate may purchase shared property from the other Roommates.Behavioral Stipulations:Pets: Can pets be kept at the Premises: No ___________ Yes__________It is the duty of the owner to care and provide for the pet. The owners and pets are as follows:Chores / Household Duties: Chores and duties will be discussed weekly / monthly (circle one), and individual responsibilities will be agreed upon at those times. Each Roommate must complete his or her chores to the full extent in a timely fashion.Cleanliness Expectations: Each Roommate will keep his or her bedroom and bathroom, as well as the Common Area, including the grounds and all appliances, fixtures and furnishings, in clean, sanitary and good condition and repair. Each Roommate will maintain the cleanliness and neatness of the Common Area and share in the responsibility of cleaning the Common Area.Overnight Guests: Guests are allowed: No _____ Yes______ Only if previously discussed ______Noise Level / Quiet Hours: The Roommates are expected to keep noise down to a reasonable level during the day. After ________PM and until _______ AM, noise should be kept to a minimum.Parties / Entertaining: Each Roommate may have up to _____ friends over at a time. Any more than this amount should be discussed with all the Roommates at least _____ day(s) prior. Parties must be agreed upon by all the Roommates and planned at least _____ day(s) prior.Smoking and Alcohol Use: The Roommates are allowed to smoke in the following areas: __________________________________________________________________________. Drinking alcohol is allowed between _____ AM/PM and _____ AM/PM. The Roommates are responsible for maintaining reasonable standards of behavior and level of noise.Additional Terms:Severability: If any provision of this Agreement is held to be invalid or unenforceable in whole or in part, the remaining provisions shall not be affected and shall continue to be valid and enforceable as though the invalid or unenforceable parts had not been included in this Agreement.Governing Law:The terms of this Agreement shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of __________, not including its conflicts of law provisions.Entire Agreement: This Agreement contains the entire understanding between the Roommates and supersedes and cancels all prior agreements of the parties, whether oral or written, with respect to such subject matter.Amendments: This Agreement may be amended or modified only by a written agreement signed by all Roommates.Roommate Agreement PDF SampleThe sample roommate agreement below details an agreement between the two roommates, ‘Donny P Gibbons’ and ‘Robert R Alcorn.’ Donny P Gibbons and Robert R Alcorn agree to abide by the terms and conditions while living on the premises.2. The Basics: What is a Roommate Agreement?It is a legal and binding contract between two or more people who live together in the same space.As an official written document, it clearly outlines responsibilities and expectations. By signing the document, each person understands the agreed upon rules and responsibilities.Unlike a Lease Agreement, this contract is between the Tenants or Roommates, not between the Landlord and Tenants.People do not need to be strangers in order to have a Roommate Agreement. In fact, friends may need a written agreement to make sure everyone is clear about what is expected so if there is a dispute, it doesn’t turn into a fight.LT TipEven if your roommate is family or a close friend, using a contract to establish clear guidelines will make sure relationships remain amicable.As a reference, people call this document by other names:Housemate AgreementRoommate Contract3. How to Write Your OwnSolid roommate contracts contain three main sections: the basic information about the roommates and the property, considerations of a legal or contractual nature, and basic behavioral stipulations.Basic InformationNames of roommatesResidence addressTerm of the leaseRent (and how to divide amongst residents)Security depositUtilities (and how they will be paid)ParkingLegal ConsiderationsWhether rental insurance will be purchasedHow damages will be rectifiedTerms for early terminationRoom assignments or living arrangementShared propertyShared costsBehavioral StipulationsPetsOvernight guestsParties / EntertainingChores and household dutiesCleanliness expectationsNoise level and quiet hoursSmoking and alcohol use4. Why You Need One and How to Bring It UpWhen you sign a Roommate Agreement, the law recognizes that two adults agreed to a certain set of rights and obligations. Unlike a verbal promise, a written agreement carries more weight and can be enforced. While a judge will enforce financial obligations like a roommate’s responsibility to pay rent, you will not likely get the court to agree that they should vacuum the living room.For example, many roommate contracts stipulate terms similar to the following:A roommate’s girlfriend or boyfriend cannot sleep over more than one night per weekEach person will contribute $10 a month for shared toilet paper and cleaning suppliesAsk each other for permission before having more than 3 friends overTurn off the music and ask guests to leave after 10pm on weekdaysA housemate’s little brother cannot sleep on the living room couch for more than a weekMany universities, including Northern Arizona University, Oregon State University, Emory University, and University of Massachusetts Amherst encourage or require students to use Roommate Agreements for on-campus or off-campus housing. Some towns and cities like the City of Boulder even offer suggestions for avoiding roommate disputes.When approaching a roommate about creating one, be sure to note the benefits to communication and clarity that a roommate contract promotes. While some roommates, especially close friends, might be skeptical of putting part of your relationship on paper, remind them it may go a long way in preserving your friendship in the long run.Even the Big Bang Theory team has to negotiate on roommate rulesLT TipEven Sheldon Cooper thought it was a good idea to have this agreement with Leonard on the popular TV show the Big Bang Theory. Unlike Sheldon, you may have a difficult time agreeing to an annual “Roommate Review” where your roommate’s worthiness is properly assessed.Create Your Free Roommate Agreement in minutes.This form also helps people solve little problems before they become big problems. If you were to neglect using a contract with your roommates, you may face a few of the following:Lost moneyOthers pick pay more rent because one person moves out early without noticeSecurity deposit lost because of damage to the common areasLost timeUnexpected search for a replacement housemateHours of discussions about what should or should not have been doneCleaning up after another person’s mess or unwelcome gatheringLost propertyDamaged personal items borrowed without permissionFurniture in public areas broken by others’ guestsOn a final note, I just wanted to add, it's nice of you to help your friend out and I applaud you for that. I truly hope that they recognise how special you are and they are grateful for the help. I am not trying to be cynical I just wanted to let you know what your options are and how you can protect yourself should the worst case scenario occur.If your friend just need a temporary place to stay and they don’t have any other options then help them work out a plan of action and make sure they stick to it. If they’re not willing to follow certain criteria such as looking for another place to stay, looking for a job, helping around the house etc. etc. then you don’t have a responsibility to help them with Jack all.Regardless don’t paint yourself into a corner where you’re stuck with someone living at your house who thinks that they are always going to have you taking care of everything and when you tell them that you can’t then you run the risk that they will get angry and resentful and you wind up doing serious damage to your friendship.

In Douglas County Colorado they had a family assistance unit inside the courthouse. Victims of violence could access advocacy and resources. They also gave out names of inexpensive attorneys who represent victims.In reality, the courts want violence. The judge takes kickbacks from each appointment and there is usually bribes too. If they followed the law, men would have to compensate their victims for pain, suffering, medical bills, etc. No sane man would have ever assaulted anybody. My husband’s hearings were not recorded. When I brought in medical records the good DA asked to be dismissed and a corrupt one took over who collaborated with a bribe scheme.Then they physically kept me out of the courtroom when they sealed the case so they can say that I had no objection and there is no public interest in the case. That was a lie.Be aware that your attorney works in collaboration with the judge and her financial interests and isn’t regulated. They don’t have to represent your interests. My attorney sold me out. I replaced her and her replacement sold me out too.The volunteers at the Douglas County Courthouse stuck with the judges and attorneys who are keeping them in business. The only volunteers who were helpful were ones who had their own building and didn’t depend on courthouses. They told me what the courts are about to do - bring my husband back into the home.The courts forbid victims of violent crimes from sharing their experiences and lessons, or from revealing the abuse they suffer in the courts. No media is allowed to tell your story.Here’s a part of a book that I decided not to write due to safety reasons:4. All's Right in My KingdomInitial Management Conference; Mediation; Temporary Orders HearingIt took me two full years from the time I first heard that the court system was broken to the time I knew the same. Our divorce was going to be simple. We had no children. We've only been married for three years. I wasn't after his money.I asked my husband for $40k as my part of a divorce settlement. I felt that it was only fair. It would make the bad taste left by our three year long marriage fade. My husband agreed that this was going to work. Next weekend, he said, he was going to present me with a settlement offer I can accept. A few weeks came and went by. No word from my husband and no paperwork.I've heard attorney jokes my entire life. Not only that, but my father shared his impressions of the court system with me back when was twelve. Attorneys twist words, he said. They are predatory. Still, through naïveté that the courts maintain with fury, I thought it would be a good idea to have an attorney go over the agreement before signing it. The law is complicated, after all, isn't it? Simple sounding sentences could have legal implications I would be unaware of. Attorney school takes seven years. So attorneys must know something worthwhile, right? Attorneys are expensive but this is an important transaction so it is worth while spending the money to hire one, I felt. Wouldn't an attorney work as my fiduciary? Wouldn't they make sure I did well in my divorce?First CourtEncountersI filed my Response to the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage myself. It turned out to be a life-saving move. Then, to my detriment, and yet quire unavoidably, I contacted Attorney Bonnie Shields. Others told me that they weren't the right attorney for the job. She behaved as if she had something to contribute. I didn't trust her. I let her know I want her to work in a limited capacity only. I was going to pay her by the hour, per project, whenever I need an advice or other services. She said yes.I wonder whether attorneys discouraged my husband. They might have purposely enraged him. If a Judge feels that a divorce agreement is unfair to one party they can reject the agreement. My husband makes six figures annually. The $40k settlement I requested was significantly less than any real legal entitlements I had in the case. I expected my husband to fudge his financial disclosure. Instead, along with his Petition for Dissolution of Marriage he provided an accurate and detailed financial disclosure of all of our marital assets.My husband is allowed to deny the domestic assault of October 2013. His case, like countless others, was sealed. No record of it will be provided by the courthouse. It is sealed in an envelope at the Courthouse basement. But I still have copies of the police report, including his confession. My injuries are well documented as well. And they aren't going anywhere either.By the time friends warned me about the court system, I had already sustained extensive skeletal injuries. My left pelvis, shoulder blade and thoracic spine were fractured. My tailbone was broken and I had a ruptured, bulging and slipped disk. My skull and teeth fractured as well. The glands regulating heat got squished and I chronically experienced disturbing cold regardless of outside weather.I now fully depended on the courts for my survival. I had to prevent permanent skeletal deformities and limping. Only the court could keep me safe or living in our marital home. My premarital condo was rented out to tenants. Further more, I was too injured to transport anything more than my toothbrush and comb. I was out of resources. I had no recourse. I was going to continue a legal battle with all my might. There was no backing down.Initial Management ConferenceA curious man arrived at our home on August 22nd, 2013. He gave me an envelope and said that I was served. He had me sign a piece of paper to confirm that he gave me my paperwork. This was August 22, 2013.Our Initial Management Conference was scheduled for August 24, just a couple of days later. I had no time to prepare. I called an attorney friend who suggested that I should definitely appear in court and not miss my hearing. I should share with the judge my circumstances. I should tell her that I didn't have enough time to consider my situation or any responses.My case was issued the number 13DR30128 in Douglas County Court. I appeared pro-se before Magistrate Moss in division 7. As I was waiting, examining my name on the Judge's docket, a nice lady stopped by. She told me of a self-help center in the courthouse where I could get general legal information and support.My husband was escorted by a friendly attorney, Mr. Stephan Uslan. Many other couples were seated with us in the courtroom. I was glad I could watch them step up before the Magistrate one by one to figure out what this hearing was about. Each couple gave a short description of their situation and the Magistrate issued speedy Orders charting a course for the case to proceed. Some of them had an attorney representing one or both sides. Some collaborated more, but had no attorneys with them.Magistrate Moss studied the documents before her intently. She asked a few pertinent questions and them she would issue her Orders promptly. It only took a few seconds per couple.I was highly impressed with the Magistrate. She seemed effective. It was as if she had an immediate sense of who was before her and wisdom to chart a course. I later learned that judges and police officers have access to sealed records. A police officer hinted that my husband may have more than one assault record sealed. There may have even been a medical analysis available.I learned many lessons from Magistrate Moss. This was my first ever encounter with a court. I knew that as a pro-se party I would be held to the standard of an attorney. The burden was heavy. Standing before Magistrate Moss I realized how easy it is to work with the lay public. She quickly translated the technical language she shared with Attorney Uslan for me. It was easy for me to understand the court's purpose and proceedings. It was easy to proceed. Some of the mystic of the courts faded. They were closer and more approachable.Another lesson was how to distinguish between working judges and those buffering time in partially recorded hearings. A judge who doesn't record her hearings looks distracted. She fills time with lay conversations. This is in sharp contrast to Magistrate Moss's concentrated effort in controlling time and guiding all proceedings.My husband's attorney stated that we are going to meet for Mediation. I agreed. I should have asked for my husband, being the wealthier party, to shoulder the fees for the mediator. But I didn't. Magistrate Moss said that I was to file my Response to the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage by September 30th. It sould include a Position Statement delineating my attitude regarding the Petition as well as a Financial Disclosure. A numbered form was downloadable from the website of the 18th Judicial District. The Magistrate then scheduled a Telephone Conference. I would participate in this Conference at which time we would report on the results of our Mediation. She explained who I should contact to be included in the Conference. The Magistrate also told me to read the Initial Management Orders carefully. I wish I did, but my concussion prevented me from doing so timely. I only skimmed.Later on, when I learned about the Register of Action, I noticed that someone registered that I appeared represented by Attorney Uslan while my husband appeared in a pro-se capacity.I filed my Response on schedule and had my first meeting with Bonnie Shields the next week. She said she'd prepare me for my mediation. I could always ask the judge for Temporary Maintenance, if I wanted. My husband would pay it and it would cover Attorney Shield's expenses.I went to the Self-help center and was delighted to see that our Colorado Statutes are righteous. The entire case seemed hard but doable. Perhaps some good people are in charge?The Deniable Domestic AssaultOur marriage was very short. A mere three years. My husband was 55 years old, never married and childless. He wanted me to raise a child for him that he would not have to bother with, financially, or in any other way.I didn't want to be a single mother. Also, as I realized as time went by, my husband was going to disable my child and abuse them. Also, my husband was going to give my child psoriasis. Additionally, my child would have had to participate in a demonic Pharos culture for no reason, since it was not going to gain them a supportive family.I needed a child friendly home to raise my child. My husband's women were all goblins. They were all old, crinkly, poor and uneducated. I needed him to transfer the freak show our of my house and our of my neighborhood. I couldn't raise a child in this Sedum and Gomorra atmosphere, I felt.But my husband knew that if the child wasn't appreciative of his father's lifestyle they would not support him or serve him in his old age. So these women kept creeping up, making out with my husband right in front of me. They all felt my husband needed a woman who loved him the way they did. "There are six more where you come from, wait in line," I thought. That was not helping my husband's affairs much. He didn't like it.I eventually gave up on having children all together. I loved my gorgeousSedaliahome. I loved the skylights, the green features, the sight of majestic Cathedral Rock out the front porch. I loved my little egg-beater Honda Fit my husband bought me. He was staying with me in myBouldercondo when my bike was stolen. He pretended he was going to stay home as I left to run an errand. On coming back I realized my bike was stolen. I realized he had gone away and left the yard unprotected in my absence. I learned the lesson of never trusting him again. Soon after we went buying a car for me. So I had no regrets.I liked my life. On the advice of a friend we went to see a fertility doctor to get an evaluation for me. I was42 athe time. The doctor was extremely abusive. His "consultations" consisted of him reading test results and hand writing them on a piece of paper which he later handed out to me.. I could get no straight answers. I was left feeling unsupported and uninformed.This doctor claimed that our only chance of having a baby was via repeated FVIs, each making him $15,000 richer. My husband was a millionaire, so money was not an issue. To my astonishment my husband played into the doctor's abusiveness and supported it.I was referred to________________HospitalinLouisvillefor a check up. At my initial consultations the person wanted me to sign a release that the 'Hospital may take whatever they take while I'm hospitalized.' That sounded like organ harvesting to me. I refused to sign it. The person got very agressive. In the end she had me sign another document. But then she took a Xerox of the first document, where this disclosure was, and combined it with the second side of the document where my signature was.I wasn't pregnant so I didn't have to worry about them killing my baby. I was not going to go under complete anesthesia. So I decided to go ahead with the procedure. The hospital team was horrible. There was an older nurse who worked on keeping me calm and entertained. But a new nurse made me feel like I was getting raped. By the end of it they dislocated my internal organs as to cause constant internal pain. I'm sure its a money maker for them.Once inSedaliaI found a woman doctor that I liked. She said that since I was using Mirena as an IUD all I need is some hormones. My eggs would not survive outside of my womb, she said, since I was older. IVFs had no chance of yielding any of my own children for me. This doctor made me feel supported and informed so I could proceed. To my surprise, my husband started yelling and objecting to her. This was confusing.The evening of the assault I accused my husband of plotting to impregnate me with another woman's baby to use me as a surrogate. I had spent the day down inBoulder. My tenant had left and I had to paint the walls. At this point I was physically very week. I had lived in fear for my life for months.My husband had said that he was going to beat me up. I became like a dear in the headlights. I had a tenant living in myBouldercondo. I could not afford to pay rent elsewhere. I couldn't think of how to get out of the house.I felt that I should take a good night's sleep and when I wake up I should be able to gather my thoughts and think up some resources. But when I woke up the next morning it was as if I never slept at all. I suffered exhaustion and a brain fog.I should have gone out of the house. Spend time at the recreation center. Eat out. Anything to get away from the house. But I didn't know that. I kept taking longer and longer sleep and got increasingly more exhausted. I kept wondering what I would do if my husband got violent. I especially asked myself what I would do when he got drunk, and less worried about consequences. These remained open questions and I had no answers.When my condo got vacated my first thought was moving back into it. But my husband said he would give me $60,000 as my part of the divorce settlement and that was enough for me to buy a condo inAurora. I would be able to continue renting out myBouldercondo and also get a roommate for this wonderful two bed two bath condo with one parking spot near the airport. So I couldn't afford to move back toBoulder. It was better to wait and get streight into my new condo.By my calculation I was going to be divorced and fully moved out by December. I started planning a Caribbean vacation with an old boyfrind fromPuerto Rico.That day inBoulder, preparing my condo for a new tenants, I worried that I wouldn't have any strength to complete the paint job in one day. I took a sleeping bag with me and let my husband know that I was going to spend the night inBoulder. If I alternated between sleeping and painting I could probably get it all done in one trip.To my complete surprise, as soon as I drove intoBouldermy strength and vitality came back to me. Painting was easy. Also, I realized that I only brought two of the right color schemes, and tow wrong ones. I couldn't chip my hardwood walls to get a sample for Home Depot. My computer had all of the right color specifications, but I left it at home. I decided to drive back home.But what if Supermarket Lady was there now, with him? Should I wait till dusk and catch them in bed and post their photos on Facebook? I was too tired, which saved me from this extremely naive adventure. Instead I called my husband's cell phone and left a message: "I'm coming home, get Supermarket Lady out of the house now."Driving back I suddenly felt like spending some time out. I stopped at the Flatiron Mall and bought a meal. I bought me some chocolates to take home with me and had my nails done with wholesome Halloween colors. Bonnie Shields said that the judge was going to look at my spending patterns to decide on Temporary Maintenance for me. So it seemed like a good idea.When I arrived my husband was in the kitchen assembling his fabulous and sumptuousNew Mexicoburritos. There was a shot mug and a half empty bottle of bourbon by the bedside, but it didn't get me started.My husband told me to go brush my teeth right away so he doesn't have to see my ugly face wondering around the house. I let him know, with some certaintly, that this was my house and I was going to wonder through it freely.This certainty, not exactly typical of me, made my husband softer. Since he was softer now, I followed an uncontrollable urge to get his sympathy. I asked him whether he was trying to get me impregnated with another woman's eggs.My husband, quite typically, turned it into a "fight." He just kept repeating anything I said mockingly. He ended up threatening to break my trash composter. I was counting on that trash composter. I wanted it in my new condo. I was tense. But then he let the composter go.I then took a mug of his off the counter and broke it on the floor in protest of all of these ugly women he was making out with right in front of me. My husband grabbed me by my hair on the left and pulled me to the floor.This was it. That was the moment. Now that it had arrived it caught me completely unprepared. I had no weapons on me. I didn't have my cell phoen near by. I could envision the grief and pain of losing part of my scalp. I decided to follow my hair to the floor as fast as I could to prevent severe hair loss.Once on the floor I priced two of my newly made nails into both sides of my husband's mouth. My intention to was to make it hurt so bad that he would have to release me. My husband was undaunted. I worked as hard as I could and he behaved as if he can barely feel me. I felt like a hobbit fighting a troll. This simply made him more and more angry.I pulled out my nails and he let go of my hair. He allowed me to run to my cell phone and call the police. In synch with our evening, he went to the bedroom and called the police too, as if imitating everything I'm doing and saying mockingly.The 911 operator helped me understand that my husband was drunk. She guided me to watch for the upstairs office where his gun was. A severe panic attack took over me and I began to scream. I was shaking all over.I knew that my husband was an expert, near genius, charmer and manipulator. Way our of my legue. I hoped that my scream would not draw out my neighbors. The fewer lay people around, I felt, the better my chance that the truth would surface. The 911 operator asked me if I wanted her to get me an ambulance. I said no. Try to get the police to understand what happened first. Take care of the rest later. I had absolutely no idea what I would do if my husband wasn't removed from the home. I would have to take it one step at a time.The Deniable ArrestTwo sturdy, large policemen arrived at our home. I was outside on the front patio by that time. One of the policemen stayed out with me. To make it easier for him to understand the truth I stated my story in as simple a manner as I could, no ornamentation.The other went in and talked to my husband. A third one soon arrived. The policemen who was near me suddenly asked whether I had left those marks on my husband's face. I said yes and tried to explain. The policemen asked me whether I fell on my back. I said yes. The police report stated that my husband initially denied the assault. But later, when faced with the physical evidence in the room and the nail marks on his face admitted to it. The police proceeded to arrest my husband.I always wonder whether those nail marks saved me from a murder. Falling down the stairs and breaking my neck does not come with nail marks on my husband. We would both watch Dateline Murder Mystery together and get educated.As far as I was concerned I had faced the oncoming assault and survived it. All I needed to do, I reasoned, was sleep for three days. I would wake up like new. And my hsuband wouldn't be next to me, threatening me.I slept for three days. I couldn't get out of bed for more than 15 minutes. At the end of three days I stayed in bed for the rest of the week. Still unable to get up. The Thursday after the assault I had an Osteopathic appointment inBoulder. My nervous system was shoddy following the assault. It was unmanageable. I felt that an Osteopathic appointment would calm down my nurves.I got out of bed early expecting to be tackled for waking up my husband. Then I realized he wasn't there. This was phantom anxiety. I felt like dancing. But something was wrong.I picked up the two paint containers and equipment and drove over toBoulder. At Home Depot, to my surprise, these sounds were emanating out of me that made nearby people think I'm dying. I felt that I was not up to the paint job. So I rested and went ot see my osteopath. On his table I experienced the same type of shaking I did right after the assault. This as good, he said. This reverses what happened during the assault. He finished his work and told me to stand up. I stood up and felt that I had regained myself now. I was pleased.The night after the osteopathic adjustment I realized that my tailbone was in pain and that I must keep my legs at 90 degrees. I facetimed a friend inItalywho told me that my tailbone was broken. It was going to heal, he said. There was no need for surgery or for any fear.I called my osteopath and asked him if I can come see him if my tailbone was broken. He said yes. On my next visit his wife wore a glove and moved my tailbone around. Unbeknownst to me, my tailbone was now L shaped, protruding to the outside. I later learned that most people with fractured bones often don't realize they sustained a fracture until later, when the injury is aggravated.Shields UnshieldedNext time I saw Attorney Shields I needed a special cushion for my broken tailbone. She didn't tell me that as a victim of domestic violence I was now exempt from the mediation. I naturally dreaded meeting with my abuser. Instead Shields got herself paid to prepare financial charts for me to present at mediation. Attorneys don't have to represent anyone's interests and have no fiduciary duties.The correct response to the assault was for me to file a Position Statement with my case. It would have alerted the Magistrate to my husband's arrest and the fact that I now elect to opt out of mediation for the sake of my physical and emotional health. I should have stated that since I'm physically unable to move out of the marital house now, due to injuries, that I request the Magistrate to schedule a time for Temporary Orders so that I can maintain the standard of living I enjoyed while married while my husband and me execute the steps to complete a Legal Separation Agreement. I should have mentioned that I believe a Legal Separation Agreement is achievable out of court, but would like to continue my recovery process until after Temporary Orders are issued. Colorado Constitution provides victims of domestic violence with court schedules that revolve around their healing process and ability to proceed with a case. Magistrate Moss was one to abide by both Constitutions and all Colorado Statutes. She would have been inclined to grant my request. Of course, I had no medical records to file with the case at the time. I was unable to predict what simple x-rays would reveal about the extent of my injuries. No attorney would have steered me to shorten proceedings or to uphold my Statutory entitlements in this way.I was further ignorant at the time of the down sides of mediation. I should have suggested a private meeting with Attorney Uslan in a library location. This would have freed me from the unnecessary expense for a mediator or the insertion of a mediator's financial interests into the case. \Attorneys have excellent communication skills, far superior to those of mediators. If an attorney wants to gaslight a meeting no mediator can alleviate that. If an attorney desire to reach an amicable out-of-court agreement no mediator is necessary. Naturally, the most futile attempt is to let two unregulated attorneys paid by the hour and free from fiduciary duties or liabilities meet together in the presence of a paid mediator. I'm not aware of any instance in which this actually worked.MediationThe most significant lesson I picked up from mediation is to never, ever, allow attorneys to separate the parties. This is a manipulative, money-making tactic on their parts. The harder an attorney insists that one should avoid the other party, the more likely it is that the other party is ready to settle. Attorneys will say that the other party is very angry and that one's mere presence will prompt them towards irrational and aggressively expensive legal moves. They'll use any number of tactics. Attorneys are not subject to perjury in court or to any professional standards outside of court.By the time of my mediation on November 11th I was in fear for my life. I was relieved to hear that my husband was going to stay in a separate room. Today I know that I had the option of staying in the same room as my husband but in the presence of a Police Stand By. This is a paid civil service from the police department. My husband, the wealthy party, would have paid for this service. The police would have prevented any violence against me while we talk directly.Mediators are paid by the hour. The parties usually share the cost. I agreed to do so.I chose a lady mediator that appealed to me out of a list of available mediators. I told Attorney Uslan to schedule with her. He scheduled Ben Stetler instead. I erroneously went along.One of my friends told me that his daughter attended eight hours of divorce mediation. She paid half the mediator fees and all of her attorney fees. The mediator and both attorneys pressured his daughter to wave away her legal entitlements. The mediation ended with lots of fees and no other result. I hear many of these stories.Driving to my mediation appointment something disturbing and alarming happened. My lower spine started rattling along with the car. I have never felt my spine rattle before. Then, all of a sudden my spine started falling down. The more I thought about it the more I realized that my spine was not made of one bone. What keeps vertebras together? I couldn't tell. Am I going to lose my spine? Will I become an invertebrate? Would doctors have to cut up my foot to pull out my spine? I parked my car and walked into theJeffersonCountycourthouse.I arrived to mediation shaken, literally. The mediator was condescending and rude. I had no idea how he kept his job. He walked me to a room and asked me whether I had ever attended mediation before. I said "no." He proceeded to boast that he was an attorney. He can really move cases forward. He then proceeded to flatly lie and misrepresented the Statutes as I learned about them at the Self-help center. I guess that is the hallmark of an attorney?Stetler was for two hours. He gathered that if he wasted the first 110 minutes I was going to hire him for two more hours of the same. It is not how I work. I don't like being jerked around. Stetler spent long periods in my husband's room. Then he would come back to my room for a few minutes for a short and manipulative discussion, never giving any news of my husband's position or intentions.My husband's attorney walked into my room for the last 10 or 15 minutes of mediation. He offered $289k and the car. He was easy to talk to and I was interested. However, the mediator kept interrupting. His "authority" had already been debunked so he took to yelling and threatening instead.I was inclined to accept Stephan Uslan's offer but couldn't think streght with all the yelling. I wanted to go over a few more numbers and make sure that I'm truly getting half of our marital estate down to the penny.I later learned that mediation offers have nothing to do with any actual statutory legal entitlements. It has to do with attorney fees. The husband offers what otherwise the attorney would take. A divorce runs at around a quarter million. Then there a other expenses. That's what husband's offer. I met a woman leaving 30 years of marriage and she was offered the same as I was. She felt that her legal entitlements were higher, and that it would be worth fighting for them in court. At the time I knew that fighting in court means nothing more than the Attorneys take her part of the marital estate.I told the mediator to report that no agreement has been achieved. It should be easy to come to an agreement with Uslan later, over the phone, I thought. In the meantime I should get Temporary Orders to pay for Bonnie Shields.Bonnie Shields expressed her sympathy when she heard of my mediation experience. I actually cried the whole of the next morning because of still being vulnerable from the abuse I suffered at assault. "Mediators are dysfunctional attorneys unable to survive in the field due to hampered abilities," she explained.At our Telephone Conference with Magistrate Moss I should have described to her my situation in detail. For some reason I worried about wasting her time with lay information. I wanted to be effective. I should have also mentioned that I intend to file for a Permanent Civil Protection Order in a pro-se capacity.Instead, I shortly reported that mediation didn't work and asked for the Temporary Orders Hearing, as Bonnie Shields advised. I told Magistrate Moss that I may decide to have an attorney represent me at that hearing, but that I have to think about because I don't quite trust her. Magistrate Moss scheduled our Temporary Orders Hearing to January 28th of 2014.My husband now hired a new attorney, David Japha. Uslan was off the case. David Japha was not a divorce attorney. He was a civil and criminal attorney. When my husband was arrested I got a Temporary Protection Order for three months. My husband was to stay away from me. He was not to go near our house, where the police left me. Chris Wilcox was the DA on my husband's case. I felt I could trust him to do a good job. He felt that I could get a Permanent Protection Order for as long as I wanted, possibly counting on my husband's other assault records. He directed me to a website where I could file for protection in a pro-se capacity.However, when I spoke to the advocate she asked if I had an attorney. I said yes. She said that only my attorney can file for a protection order and that I couldn't. I wasn't clear anymore and thought I should ask Shields about it. Could I have been more gullible? The advocate thought I had an Attorney of Record. Only an Attorney of Record can perform any duties in court, not the party. But Bonnie Shields was working in a limited capacity. I was in a position to decide which jobs to assign to her and which I wanted to perform myself.Bonnie Shields naturally confirmed that only she can file for a Permanent Civil Protection. She would appear in court for Temporary Orders in January and then file for projection in February, she said. I felt that it was a good idea to let Bonnie Shields run the show at Temporary Orders. I didn't fully grasp what the hearing was about - mostly because Bonnie Shields didn't want me to. And if I can't file for civil protection myself, then perhaps Bonnie Shields can, as long as my husband pays her fees. I signed a simple contract with Bonnie Shields stating that I will pay an hourly fee for these services.Bonnie Shields mentioned that my husband's attorney offered to sign a Stipulation for a Mutual Protection Order. It's nothing more than an agreement to stay out of each other's way. That much is already a given with the Initial Management Order. Bonnie Shields read my face and immediately declared loudly that "of course she said NO WAY!"Temporary Orders HearingTemporary Orders Hearings are a temporary device to keep the poorer party living at the same standard of living that they enjoyed during the divorce, but only for the duration of the proceedings. The parties represents their current financial means. Then they compare it to what they enjoyed during their marriage. The Magistrate then rules on living and financial arrangements. This allows everyone to stay comfortable until Permanent Orders are given, permanently dissolving the marriage.The hearing went according to protocol. Bonnie Shields is great with financial charts and numbers. Because I was the victim of domestic violence I took residence in the marital house. I was also awarded $1,200 in monthly maintenance. I was awarded use of my Honda Fit and had to pay for its maintenance. But my husband was to pay my car insurance. He was also to continue paying for my cell-phone and internet service. I was to get a copy of our HSA card to use for my medical bills and he was to keep me on his medical insurance plan. He was to file taxes jointly and share the tax rebates with me.Bonnie Shields additionally requested $10k in attorney fees on my behalf. I noticed that she didn't mention the Permanent Civil Protection hearing in the fees, but didn't know what to make of it. Magistrate Moss said that that the fees be directly paid to Bonnie Shields. I didn't object. The law is that if a judge suspects that a party would spend their attorney fees on other items that those fees can be directly paid to the attorney. Since the funds were at a trust for my use I didn't see a reason to object at the time. It was a huge mistake and the end of my little "kingdom."

Thank you!!! It is exactly the job a of judge. But a judge makes their own terms of employment at the supreme court and they really can’t be bothered to work.Typically, an attorney will leave the room and use signs, similar to football coaches, telling the judge what they should rule on, where the bribes are and how to continue.In more serious schemes the judge gets updates over a 5 star lunch at your expense as to what they should do.You’ll never catch a judge reading any of the filings or working. They also don’t follow the law. Any two attorneys that agree on anything - and this is the new law.I had a judge appoint an attorney to me without my knowledge. I stated that I’m a pro-se party and don’t want the attorney. The opposing attorney gave a long, long long long speech on how I must prove to the judge that I’m worthy of pro-se representation.Here’s the thing - the judge should have cut him off at the first sentence. That is because pro-se representation at the lower level courts is my procedural constitutional right. I don’t have to justify it.I answered myself and the judge turned white. It turns out that at Douglas County, CO, at that time, the Sheriff took surveys about judges and how they oppose pro-se representation. Judges take kickbacks from each appointment and don’t want to have to work.They prefer two attorneys working in unison to make more money faster.In 2018 Gov. Hickenlooper in Colorado passed a law by which the police can do any illegal or criminal favors to a judge and not lose their job. The Sheriff resigned since then. Douglas County, CO was the number 1 county in the whole country back then due to extraordinary leadership. I was even able to get Judge Angela Arkin charged with taking bribes. She had to retire to avoid prosecution. Now it may not be possible anymore.Judge Arkin had a Sorenson Hearing for me. It is a hearing to decide if I need a Guardian Ad Litem. It is Judge Arkin’s job to find out all the truth and control the hearing. Instead she let her illegally appointed GAL, Virginia Fraser Able, run a mock hearing. It wasn’t recorded and a fabricated transcript was filed by Virginia Fraser Able. However, it is illegal, according to Title 18 to appoint a GAL to me without proper medical testing and documentation - which can’t be found anywhere…..So that’s why judges don’t work…..Here’s my good experience with an actuall working Magistrate. its part of a book I decided not to write or publish due to fear for my life.4. All's Right in My KingdomInitial Management Conference; Mediation; Temporary Orders HearingIt took me two full years from the time I first heard that the court system was broken to the time I knew the same. Our divorce was going to be simple. We had no children. We've only been married for three years. I wasn't after his money.I asked my husband for $40k as my part of a divorce settlement. I felt that it was only fair. It would make the bad taste left by our three year long marriage fade. My husband agreed that this was going to work. Next weekend, he said, he was going to present me with a settlement offer I can accept. A few weeks came and went by. No word from my husband and no paperwork.I've heard attorney jokes my entire life. Not only that, but my father shared his impressions of the court system with me back when was twelve. Attorneys twist words, he said. They are predatory. Still, through naïveté that the courts maintain with fury, I thought it would be a good idea to have an attorney go over the agreement before signing it. The law is complicated, after all, isn't it? Simple sounding sentences could have legal implications I would be unaware of. Attorney school takes seven years. So attorneys must know something worthwhile, right? Attorneys are expensive but this is an important transaction so it is worth while spending the money to hire one, I felt. Wouldn't an attorney work as my fiduciary? Wouldn't they make sure I did well in my divorce?First CourtEncountersI filed my Response to the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage myself. It turned out to be a life-saving move. Then, to my detriment, and yet quire unavoidably, I contacted Attorney Bonnie Shields. Others told me that they weren't the right attorney for the job. She behaved as if she had something to contribute. I didn't trust her. I let her know I want her to work in a limited capacity only. I was going to pay her by the hour, per project, whenever I need an advice or other services. She said yes.I wonder whether attorneys discouraged my husband. They might have purposely enraged him. If a Judge feels that a divorce agreement is unfair to one party they can reject the agreement. My husband makes six figures annually. The $40k settlement I requested was significantly less than any real legal entitlements I had in the case. I expected my husband to fudge his financial disclosure. Instead, along with his Petition for Dissolution of Marriage he provided an accurate and detailed financial disclosure of all of our marital assets.My husband is allowed to deny the domestic assault of October 2013. His case, like countless others, was sealed. No record of it will be provided by the courthouse. It is sealed in an envelope at the Courthouse basement. But I still have copies of the police report, including his confession. My injuries are well documented as well. And they aren't going anywhere either.By the time friends warned me about the court system, I had already sustained extensive skeletal injuries. My left pelvis, shoulder blade and thoracic spine were fractured. My tailbone was broken and I had a ruptured, bulging and slipped disk. My skull and teeth fractured as well. The glands regulating heat got squished and I chronically experienced disturbing cold regardless of outside weather.I now fully depended on the courts for my survival. I had to prevent permanent skeletal deformities and limping. Only the court could keep me safe or living in our marital home. My premarital condo was rented out to tenants. Further more, I was too injured to transport anything more than my toothbrush and comb. I was out of resources. I had no recourse. I was going to continue a legal battle with all my might. There was no backing down.Initial Management ConferenceA curious man arrived at our home on August 22nd, 2013. He gave me an envelope and said that I was served. He had me sign a piece of paper to confirm that he gave me my paperwork. This was August 22, 2013.Our Initial Management Conference was scheduled for August 24, just a couple of days later. I had no time to prepare. I called an attorney friend who suggested that I should definitely appear in court and not miss my hearing. I should share with the judge my circumstances. I should tell her that I didn't have enough time to consider my situation or any responses.My case was issued the number 13DR30128 in Douglas County Court. I appeared pro-se before Magistrate Moss in division 7. As I was waiting, examining my name on the Judge's docket, a nice lady stopped by. She told me of a self-help center in the courthouse where I could get general legal information and support.My husband was escorted by a friendly attorney, Mr. Stephan Uslan. Many other couples were seated with us in the courtroom. I was glad I could watch them step up before the Magistrate one by one to figure out what this hearing was about. Each couple gave a short description of their situation and the Magistrate issued speedy Orders charting a course for the case to proceed. Some of them had an attorney representing one or both sides. Some collaborated more, but had no attorneys with them.Magistrate Moss studied the documents before her intently. She asked a few pertinent questions and them she would issue her Orders promptly. It only took a few seconds per couple.I was highly impressed with the Magistrate. She seemed effective. It was as if she had an immediate sense of who was before her and wisdom to chart a course. I later learned that judges and police officers have access to sealed records. A police officer hinted that my husband may have more than one assault record sealed. There may have even been a medical analysis available.I learned many lessons from Magistrate Moss. This was my first ever encounter with a court. I knew that as a pro-se party I would be held to the standard of an attorney. The burden was heavy. Standing before Magistrate Moss I realized how easy it is to work with the lay public. She quickly translated the technical language she shared with Attorney Uslan for me. It was easy for me to understand the court's purpose and proceedings. It was easy to proceed. Some of the mystic of the courts faded. They were closer and more approachable.Another lesson was how to distinguish between working judges and those buffering time in partially recorded hearings. A judge who doesn't record her hearings looks distracted. She fills time with lay conversations. This is in sharp contrast to Magistrate Moss's concentrated effort in controlling time and guiding all proceedings.My husband's attorney stated that we are going to meet for Mediation. I agreed. I should have asked for my husband, being the wealthier party, to shoulder the fees for the mediator. But I didn't. Magistrate Moss said that I was to file my Response to the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage by September 30th. It sould include a Position Statement delineating my attitude regarding the Petition as well as a Financial Disclosure. A numbered form was downloadable from the website of the 18th Judicial District. The Magistrate then scheduled a Telephone Conference. I would participate in this Conference at which time we would report on the results of our Mediation. She explained who I should contact to be included in the Conference. The Magistrate also told me to read the Initial Management Orders carefully. I wish I did, but my concussion prevented me from doing so timely. I only skimmed.Later on, when I learned about the Register of Action, I noticed that someone registered that I appeared represented by Attorney Uslan while my husband appeared in a pro-se capacity.I filed my Response on schedule and had my first meeting with Bonnie Shields the next week. She said she'd prepare me for my mediation. I could always ask the judge for Temporary Maintenance, if I wanted. My husband would pay it and it would cover Attorney Shield's expenses.I went to the Self-help center and was delighted to see that our Colorado Statutes are righteous. The entire case seemed hard but doable. Perhaps some good people are in charge?The Deniable Domestic AssaultOur marriage was very short. A mere three years. My husband was 55 years old, never married and childless. He wanted me to raise a child for him that he would not have to bother with, financially, or in any other way.I didn't want to be a single mother. Also, as I realized as time went by, my husband was going to disable my child and abuse them. Also, my husband was going to give my child psoriasis. Additionally, my child would have had to participate in a demonic Pharos culture for no reason, since it was not going to gain them a supportive family.I needed a child friendly home to raise my child. My husband's women were all goblins. They were all old, crinkly, poor and uneducated. I needed him to transfer the freak show our of my house and our of my neighborhood. I couldn't raise a child in this Sedum and Gomorra atmosphere, I felt.But my husband knew that if the child wasn't appreciative of his father's lifestyle they would not support him or serve him in his old age. So these women kept creeping up, making out with my husband right in front of me. They all felt my husband needed a woman who loved him the way they did. "There are six more where you come from, wait in line," I thought. That was not helping my husband's affairs much. He didn't like it.I eventually gave up on having children all together. I loved my gorgeousSedaliahome. I loved the skylights, the green features, the sight of majestic Cathedral Rock out the front porch. I loved my little egg-beater Honda Fit my husband bought me. He was staying with me in myBouldercondo when my bike was stolen. He pretended he was going to stay home as I left to run an errand. On coming back I realized my bike was stolen. I realized he had gone away and left the yard unprotected in my absence. I learned the lesson of never trusting him again. Soon after we went buying a car for me. So I had no regrets.I liked my life. On the advice of a friend we went to see a fertility doctor to get an evaluation for me. I was42 athe time. The doctor was extremely abusive. His "consultations" consisted of him reading test results and hand writing them on a piece of paper which he later handed out to me.. I could get no straight answers. I was left feeling unsupported and uninformed.This doctor claimed that our only chance of having a baby was via repeated FVIs, each making him $15,000 richer. My husband was a millionaire, so money was not an issue. To my astonishment my husband played into the doctor's abusiveness and supported it.I was referred to________________HospitalinLouisvillefor a check up. At my initial consultations the person wanted me to sign a release that the 'Hospital may take whatever they take while I'm hospitalized.' That sounded like organ harvesting to me. I refused to sign it. The person got very agressive. In the end she had me sign another document. But then she took a Xerox of the first document, where this disclosure was, and combined it with the second side of the document where my signature was.I wasn't pregnant so I didn't have to worry about them killing my baby. I was not going to go under complete anesthesia. So I decided to go ahead with the procedure. The hospital team was horrible. There was an older nurse who worked on keeping me calm and entertained. But a new nurse made me feel like I was getting raped. By the end of it they dislocated my internal organs as to cause constant internal pain. I'm sure its a money maker for them.Once inSedaliaI found a woman doctor that I liked. She said that since I was using Mirena as an IUD all I need is some hormones. My eggs would not survive outside of my womb, she said, since I was older. IVFs had no chance of yielding any of my own children for me. This doctor made me feel supported and informed so I could proceed. To my surprise, my husband started yelling and objecting to her. This was confusing.The evening of the assault I accused my husband of plotting to impregnate me with another woman's baby to use me as a surrogate. I had spent the day down inBoulder. My tenant had left and I had to paint the walls. At this point I was physically very week. I had lived in fear for my life for months.My husband had said that he was going to beat me up. I became like a dear in the headlights. I had a tenant living in myBouldercondo. I could not afford to pay rent elsewhere. I couldn't think of how to get out of the house.I felt that I should take a good night's sleep and when I wake up I should be able to gather my thoughts and think up some resources. But when I woke up the next morning it was as if I never slept at all. I suffered exhaustion and a brain fog.I should have gone out of the house. Spend time at the recreation center. Eat out. Anything to get away from the house. But I didn't know that. I kept taking longer and longer sleep and got increasingly more exhausted. I kept wondering what I would do if my husband got violent. I especially asked myself what I would do when he got drunk, and less worried about consequences. These remained open questions and I had no answers.When my condo got vacated my first thought was moving back into it. But my husband said he would give me $60,000 as my part of the divorce settlement and that was enough for me to buy a condo inAurora. I would be able to continue renting out myBouldercondo and also get a roommate for this wonderful two bed two bath condo with one parking spot near the airport. So I couldn't afford to move back toBoulder. It was better to wait and get streight into my new condo.By my calculation I was going to be divorced and fully moved out by December. I started planning a Caribbean vacation with an old boyfrind fromPuerto Rico.That day inBoulder, preparing my condo for a new tenants, I worried that I wouldn't have any strength to complete the paint job in one day. I took a sleeping bag with me and let my husband know that I was going to spend the night inBoulder. If I alternated between sleeping and painting I could probably get it all done in one trip.To my complete surprise, as soon as I drove intoBouldermy strength and vitality came back to me. Painting was easy. Also, I realized that I only brought two of the right color schemes, and tow wrong ones. I couldn't chip my hardwood walls to get a sample for Home Depot. My computer had all of the right color specifications, but I left it at home. I decided to drive back home.But what if Supermarket Lady was there now, with him? Should I wait till dusk and catch them in bed and post their photos on Facebook? I was too tired, which saved me from this extremely naive adventure. Instead I called my husband's cell phone and left a message: "I'm coming home, get Supermarket Lady out of the house now."Driving back I suddenly felt like spending some time out. I stopped at the Flatiron Mall and bought a meal. I bought me some chocolates to take home with me and had my nails done with wholesome Halloween colors. Bonnie Shields said that the judge was going to look at my spending patterns to decide on Temporary Maintenance for me. So it seemed like a good idea.When I arrived my husband was in the kitchen assembling his fabulous and sumptuousNew Mexicoburritos. There was a shot mug and a half empty bottle of bourbon by the bedside, but it didn't get me started.My husband told me to go brush my teeth right away so he doesn't have to see my ugly face wondering around the house. I let him know, with some certaintly, that this was my house and I was going to wonder through it freely.This certainty, not exactly typical of me, made my husband softer. Since he was softer now, I followed an uncontrollable urge to get his sympathy. I asked him whether he was trying to get me impregnated with another woman's eggs.My husband, quite typically, turned it into a "fight." He just kept repeating anything I said mockingly. He ended up threatening to break my trash composter. I was counting on that trash composter. I wanted it in my new condo. I was tense. But then he let the composter go.I then took a mug of his off the counter and broke it on the floor in protest of all of these ugly women he was making out with right in front of me. My husband grabbed me by my hair on the left and pulled me to the floor.This was it. That was the moment. Now that it had arrived it caught me completely unprepared. I had no weapons on me. I didn't have my cell phoen near by. I could envision the grief and pain of losing part of my scalp. I decided to follow my hair to the floor as fast as I could to prevent severe hair loss.Once on the floor I priced two of my newly made nails into both sides of my husband's mouth. My intention to was to make it hurt so bad that he would have to release me. My husband was undaunted. I worked as hard as I could and he behaved as if he can barely feel me. I felt like a hobbit fighting a troll. This simply made him more and more angry.I pulled out my nails and he let go of my hair. He allowed me to run to my cell phone and call the police. In synch with our evening, he went to the bedroom and called the police too, as if imitating everything I'm doing and saying mockingly.The 911 operator helped me understand that my husband was drunk. She guided me to watch for the upstairs office where his gun was. A severe panic attack took over me and I began to scream. I was shaking all over.I knew that my husband was an expert, near genius, charmer and manipulator. Way our of my legue. I hoped that my scream would not draw out my neighbors. The fewer lay people around, I felt, the better my chance that the truth would surface. The 911 operator asked me if I wanted her to get me an ambulance. I said no. Try to get the police to understand what happened first. Take care of the rest later. I had absolutely no idea what I would do if my husband wasn't removed from the home. I would have to take it one step at a time.The Deniable ArrestTwo sturdy, large policemen arrived at our home. I was outside on the front patio by that time. One of the policemen stayed out with me. To make it easier for him to understand the truth I stated my story in as simple a manner as I could, no ornamentation.The other went in and talked to my husband. A third one soon arrived. The policemen who was near me suddenly asked whether I had left those marks on my husband's face. I said yes and tried to explain. The policemen asked me whether I fell on my back. I said yes. The police report stated that my husband initially denied the assault. But later, when faced with the physical evidence in the room and the nail marks on his face admitted to it. The police proceeded to arrest my husband.I always wonder whether those nail marks saved me from a murder. Falling down the stairs and breaking my neck does not come with nail marks on my husband. We would both watch Dateline Murder Mystery together and get educated.As far as I was concerned I had faced the oncoming assault and survived it. All I needed to do, I reasoned, was sleep for three days. I would wake up like new. And my hsuband wouldn't be next to me, threatening me.I slept for three days. I couldn't get out of bed for more than 15 minutes. At the end of three days I stayed in bed for the rest of the week. Still unable to get up. The Thursday after the assault I had an Osteopathic appointment inBoulder. My nervous system was shoddy following the assault. It was unmanageable. I felt that an Osteopathic appointment would calm down my nurves.I got out of bed early expecting to be tackled for waking up my husband. Then I realized he wasn't there. This was phantom anxiety. I felt like dancing. But something was wrong.I picked up the two paint containers and equipment and drove over toBoulder. At Home Depot, to my surprise, these sounds were emanating out of me that made nearby people think I'm dying. I felt that I was not up to the paint job. So I rested and went ot see my osteopath. On his table I experienced the same type of shaking I did right after the assault. This as good, he said. This reverses what happened during the assault. He finished his work and told me to stand up. I stood up and felt that I had regained myself now. I was pleased.The night after the osteopathic adjustment I realized that my tailbone was in pain and that I must keep my legs at 90 degrees. I facetimed a friend inItalywho told me that my tailbone was broken. It was going to heal, he said. There was no need for surgery or for any fear.I called my osteopath and asked him if I can come see him if my tailbone was broken. He said yes. On my next visit his wife wore a glove and moved my tailbone around. Unbeknownst to me, my tailbone was now L shaped, protruding to the outside. I later learned that most people with fractured bones often don't realize they sustained a fracture until later, when the injury is aggravated.Shields UnshieldedNext time I saw Attorney Shields I needed a special cushion for my broken tailbone. She didn't tell me that as a victim of domestic violence I was now exempt from the mediation. I naturally dreaded meeting with my abuser. Instead Shields got herself paid to prepare financial charts for me to present at mediation. Attorneys don't have to represent anyone's interests and have no fiduciary duties.The correct response to the assault was for me to file a Position Statement with my case. It would have alerted the Magistrate to my husband's arrest and the fact that I now elect to opt out of mediation for the sake of my physical and emotional health. I should have stated that since I'm physically unable to move out of the marital house now, due to injuries, that I request the Magistrate to schedule a time for Temporary Orders so that I can maintain the standard of living I enjoyed while married while my husband and me execute the steps to complete a Legal Separation Agreement. I should have mentioned that I believe a Legal Separation Agreement is achievable out of court, but would like to continue my recovery process until after Temporary Orders are issued. Colorado Constitution provides victims of domestic violence with court schedules that revolve around their healing process and ability to proceed with a case. Magistrate Moss was one to abide by both Constitutions and all Colorado Statutes. She would have been inclined to grant my request. Of course, I had no medical records to file with the case at the time. I was unable to predict what simple x-rays would reveal about the extent of my injuries. No attorney would have steered me to shorten proceedings or to uphold my Statutory entitlements in this way.I was further ignorant at the time of the down sides of mediation. I should have suggested a private meeting with Attorney Uslan in a library location. This would have freed me from the unnecessary expense for a mediator or the insertion of a mediator's financial interests into the case. \Attorneys have excellent communication skills, far superior to those of mediators. If an attorney wants to gaslight a meeting no mediator can alleviate that. If an attorney desire to reach an amicable out-of-court agreement no mediator is necessary. Naturally, the most futile attempt is to let two unregulated attorneys paid by the hour and free from fiduciary duties or liabilities meet together in the presence of a paid mediator. I'm not aware of any instance in which this actually worked.MediationThe most significant lesson I picked up from mediation is to never, ever, allow attorneys to separate the parties. This is a manipulative, money-making tactic on their parts. The harder an attorney insists that one should avoid the other party, the more likely it is that the other party is ready to settle. Attorneys will say that the other party is very angry and that one's mere presence will prompt them towards irrational and aggressively expensive legal moves. They'll use any number of tactics. Attorneys are not subject to perjury in court or to any professional standards outside of court.By the time of my mediation on November 11th I was in fear for my life. I was relieved to hear that my husband was going to stay in a separate room. Today I know that I had the option of staying in the same room as my husband but in the presence of a Police Stand By. This is a paid civil service from the police department. My husband, the wealthy party, would have paid for this service. The police would have prevented any violence against me while we talk directly.Mediators are paid by the hour. The parties usually share the cost. I agreed to do so.I chose a lady mediator that appealed to me out of a list of available mediators. I told Attorney Uslan to schedule with her. He scheduled Ben Stetler instead. I erroneously went along.One of my friends told me that his daughter attended eight hours of divorce mediation. She paid half the mediator fees and all of her attorney fees. The mediator and both attorneys pressured his daughter to wave away her legal entitlements. The mediation ended with lots of fees and no other result. I hear many of these stories.Driving to my mediation appointment something disturbing and alarming happened. My lower spine started rattling along with the car. I have never felt my spine rattle before. Then, all of a sudden my spine started falling down. The more I thought about it the more I realized that my spine was not made of one bone. What keeps vertebras together? I couldn't tell. Am I going to lose my spine? Will I become an invertebrate? Would doctors have to cut up my foot to pull out my spine? I parked my car and walked into theJeffersonCountycourthouse.I arrived to mediation shaken, literally. The mediator was condescending and rude. I had no idea how he kept his job. He walked me to a room and asked me whether I had ever attended mediation before. I said "no." He proceeded to boast that he was an attorney. He can really move cases forward. He then proceeded to flatly lie and misrepresented the Statutes as I learned about them at the Self-help center. I guess that is the hallmark of an attorney?Stetler was for two hours. He gathered that if he wasted the first 110 minutes I was going to hire him for two more hours of the same. It is not how I work. I don't like being jerked around. Stetler spent long periods in my husband's room. Then he would come back to my room for a few minutes for a short and manipulative discussion, never giving any news of my husband's position or intentions.My husband's attorney walked into my room for the last 10 or 15 minutes of mediation. He offered $289k and the car. He was easy to talk to and I was interested. However, the mediator kept interrupting. His "authority" had already been debunked so he took to yelling and threatening instead.I was inclined to accept Stephan Uslan's offer but couldn't think streght with all the yelling. I wanted to go over a few more numbers and make sure that I'm truly getting half of our marital estate down to the penny.I later learned that mediation offers have nothing to do with any actual statutory legal entitlements. It has to do with attorney fees. The husband offers what otherwise the attorney would take. A divorce runs at around a quarter million. Then there a other expenses. That's what husband's offer. I met a woman leaving 30 years of marriage and she was offered the same as I was. She felt that her legal entitlements were higher, and that it would be worth fighting for them in court. At the time I knew that fighting in court means nothing more than the Attorneys take her part of the marital estate.I told the mediator to report that no agreement has been achieved. It should be easy to come to an agreement with Uslan later, over the phone, I thought. In the meantime I should get Temporary Orders to pay for Bonnie Shields.Bonnie Shields expressed her sympathy when she heard of my mediation experience. I actually cried the whole of the next morning because of still being vulnerable from the abuse I suffered at assault. "Mediators are dysfunctional attorneys unable to survive in the field due to hampered abilities," she explained.At our Telephone Conference with Magistrate Moss I should have described to her my situation in detail. For some reason I worried about wasting her time with lay information. I wanted to be effective. I should have also mentioned that I intend to file for a Permanent Civil Protection Order in a pro-se capacity.Instead, I shortly reported that mediation didn't work and asked for the Temporary Orders Hearing, as Bonnie Shields advised. I told Magistrate Moss that I may decide to have an attorney represent me at that hearing, but that I have to think about because I don't quite trust her. Magistrate Moss scheduled our Temporary Orders Hearing to January 28th of 2014.My husband now hired a new attorney, David Japha. Uslan was off the case. David Japha was not a divorce attorney. He was a civil and criminal attorney. When my husband was arrested I got a Temporary Protection Order for three months. My husband was to stay away from me. He was not to go near our house, where the police left me. Chris Wilcox was the DA on my husband's case. I felt I could trust him to do a good job. He felt that I could get a Permanent Protection Order for as long as I wanted, possibly counting on my husband's other assault records. He directed me to a website where I could file for protection in a pro-se capacity.However, when I spoke to the advocate she asked if I had an attorney. I said yes. She said that only my attorney can file for a protection order and that I couldn't. I wasn't clear anymore and thought I should ask Shields about it. Could I have been more gullible? The advocate thought I had an Attorney of Record. Only an Attorney of Record can perform any duties in court, not the party. But Bonnie Shields was working in a limited capacity. I was in a position to decide which jobs to assign to her and which I wanted to perform myself.Bonnie Shields naturally confirmed that only she can file for a Permanent Civil Protection. She would appear in court for Temporary Orders in January and then file for projection in February, she said. I felt that it was a good idea to let Bonnie Shields run the show at Temporary Orders. I didn't fully grasp what the hearing was about - mostly because Bonnie Shields didn't want me to. And if I can't file for civil protection myself, then perhaps Bonnie Shields can, as long as my husband pays her fees. I signed a simple contract with Bonnie Shields stating that I will pay an hourly fee for these services.Bonnie Shields mentioned that my husband's attorney offered to sign a Stipulation for a Mutual Protection Order. It's nothing more than an agreement to stay out of each other's way. That much is already a given with the Initial Management Order. Bonnie Shields read my face and immediately declared loudly that "of course she said NO WAY!"Temporary Orders HearingTemporary Orders Hearings are a temporary device to keep the poorer party living at the same standard of living that they enjoyed during the divorce, but only for the duration of the proceedings. The parties represents their current financial means. Then they compare it to what they enjoyed during their marriage. The Magistrate then rules on living and financial arrangements. This allows everyone to stay comfortable until Permanent Orders are given, permanently dissolving the marriage.The hearing went according to protocol. Bonnie Shields is great with financial charts and numbers. Because I was the victim of domestic violence I took residence in the marital house. I was also awarded $1,200 in monthly maintenance. I was awarded use of my Honda Fit and had to pay for its maintenance. But my husband was to pay my car insurance. He was also to continue paying for my cell-phone and internet service. I was to get a copy of our HSA card to use for my medical bills and he was to keep me on his medical insurance plan. He was to file taxes jointly and share the tax rebates with me.Bonnie Shields additionally requested $10k in attorney fees on my behalf. I noticed that she didn't mention the Permanent Civil Protection hearing in the fees, but didn't know what to make of it. Magistrate Moss said that that the fees be directly paid to Bonnie Shields. I didn't object. The law is that if a judge suspects that a party would spend their attorney fees on other items that those fees can be directly paid to the attorney. Since the funds were at a trust for my use I didn't see a reason to object at the time. It was a huge mistake and the end of my little "kingdom."