Amazing Grace A Personal Journey Of Growth & Courage: Fill & Download for Free

This is not hypothetical, it happened July 2015. We went to the car and cried a bit, the car park was closing so we went to the nearest place which we could find (happened to be a Maccas) and sat there and cried a bit more, then phoned family. During the 2.5 hour drive home, he drove and I phoned friends. It got a little more real every time I said it as it had felt surreal in the surgeon’s office. I’d had no symptoms, my stage 4 kidney cancer had been picked up only by high blood calcium then detected by CT.The first year was tough though we almost immediately decided to face this head on and stay positive. There was a lot of night time thinking ‘what if this is my last …?’ But I survived the operation, managed to tolerate enough medication to shrink the affected lymph nodes, and kept working full time at my job which I love (I’m a lecturer). I had Christmas and then got to my 60th birthday the following June and had a really big party (just in case). It was awesome! Thanks to some great income protection and cancer insurance, we had enough for a deposit on a house (we’d been living in our 5th wheeler that we had spent 5 years travelling while I did my PhD), and the bank gave us a mortgage, so we moved in just after my birthday. I wasn’t sure how long I’d enjoy it for but it would give my wonderful man security after I go. Since then we have improved it with air con and now solar power, all to make it even better. I’m happy about that and still enjoying it (but we must finish decorating the dining room!).We’ve had some ups and downs - after a year I got my first metastasis in the lungs and we got that microwaved. Another year later 3 more in the lungs and I went onto immunotherapy. Then another met was found in my small intestine (very unusual for kidney cancer), so that was removed surgically. Had to stop the immunotherapy (which only reduced the rate of growth of the known lung mets, it didn’t shrink them) last June when 2 new mets were found in my liver. That was a bit of a shock, and probably the second worst time in this journey. The most serious complication was pneumonia twice last winter (June-August). I was VERY sick the second time. That has made me aware that it needn’t be the cancer that gets me so we will be taking more precautions against infection this year. It has made me make more concrete plans for whenever I do pass while I am well enough to so. My funeral service is mostly planned, and I have been teaching my choir the songs I want for my funeral. It gives me comfort to know I am minimising work for my beloved once I go, whenever that may be.However, I’m not looking at going yet. I’m in hospital at the moment trying to get some side effects of side issues under control, but we had good news before Christmas in that a tolerable (but supposedly subtherapeutic) dose of a drug had shrunk my 5 tumours BY HALF in just 3 months! So once we get on top of these other issues I will be back on it and trying to shrink them some more. With severe oral thrush I didn’t much enjoy Christmas but my oncologist isn’t expecting that to have been my last so I will hope for less pain next year!We both remain very positive over 95% of the time. I still work - am running an online class tonight from hospital! My partner does everything else to keep me and the house running and does it with grace and love. I have a fabulous support network of friends and colleagues who think I am inspiration but it is them who inspire me. Not long after diagnosis my colleagues gave me a beautiful crystal bowl full of ‘warm fuzzies’ - little pieces of paper with warm messages, pictures, jokes - anything to make me smile. There’s still more than half of the bowl left - I’ve just not had that many dark days. I am very transparent with my supporters - they get regular email updates and so they know what is happening with me. Many thank me for that, as they know how to be the friend they want to be and to offer specific help and support. They are amazing. I think my openness has helped us all to deal with this so positively. I am blessed.I’m approaching 63 this June, which feels pretty good! According to the nurses here I still don’t look 60 so that’s not too bad. I’m not exactly ‘bucket-listing’ - and some of those would require travel which logistically would be tiresome for me these days - but I do take time to do what I enjoy. My singing is immensely important to my quality of life, and I’ve even been able to take afternoon passes out of hospital the last 2 Saturdays to go to choir (the first week was essential - I was teaching it!). If (as looks likely) I’m still here next weekend I will need a Saturday pass for rehearsal and a Sunday one for a gig! I have a wonderful oncologist who has drawn in a great team of other specialists as required. My GP is my hero as it was he who spotted the high calcium level, acted immediately, and saved my life. It’s a long way from that afternoon when the surgeon said “If the hospital won’t let me operate, you have weeks, not months, to live” and “Go home for the weekend and put your affairs in order, come back Monday afternoon and we will run tests to see if we can make a good case for the committee for the operation to go ahead”. I heard that he made an impassioned case on my behalf, was ecstatic when he came in announcing “You’re losing a kidney tomorrow!” and he did an amazing job. All of this makes every day of life precious, every good thing I can do worthwhile, every person to love special too.

One thing I know about you is that you love deeply and intensely. I also know that you’re willing to bend over backward for someone you love in an attempt to keep the relationship alive.But what happens when the person who has been the lucky recipient of your love, care, and compassion decides they don’t want to be with you anymore?What do you do when someone you’ve been super nice to, changes their mind and pulls away?What do you do when the person you love decides to leave you?Having someone you deeply care for walk away can be devastating. Especially, if you were the ‘heart-centered’ one in the relationship, the one that was more conscious and had a good understanding of what the other person needed in order to heal and become more whole.Which is precisely why you attracted someone who needed exactly what you had to offer in the first place! That is, UNTIL something happens in your relationship that triggers their biggest fear, issue or block and they decide to run for the hills.Because that’s what relationships are designed to do. As Eckhart Tolle once said, “relationships are not here to make us happy but to wake us up.”When this happens, what do you do?Do you try to convince them of how wonderful you are, and continue to bend over backward to keep the relationship going at all costs?Or, do you simply let them go?In my experience, holding on desperately to the other person has never worked. Not in the long run anyway. Simply, because it violates the other person’s individual sovereignty or right to choose who they want to be with.What has always worked is releasing them and letting them go. Even if that caused me heartbreak and brought up my biggest emotional pain.Sometimes they came back after being on their own for a while and learning what they had to learn from another person that just couldn’t be me.Because no matter how much you love someone, you just don’t have it in you to do what it would take to help them learn the lesson they need to learn.You see, you only have love, care, and compassion to give them. And what they need is someone who is mean and nasty to them, who can help them learn the lessons or get through the blocks they need to get through to grow.And when their lesson is finally learned – if in fact they ever do learn it, they may or may not come back to you. And if they do, you may or may not want them back because along the journey you’ve also changed and grown.This unpredictability is what makes human relationships so incredibly mysterious and complex. And this is precisely why every relationship you have is an invitation to learn more about yourself and grow in your capacity to be more loving.If you find yourself going through a situation like the one I’ve just described, here’s five things you can do that I know will help. It might not be what you want to hear, but it’s what I know has worked for me and everyone I’ve coached.What To Do When The Person You Love Decides To Leave You1) Acknowledge that you did your bestRealize that you helped them as much as you could and that your love, care, and compassion could only get them this far. This isn’t all about you. They have a lesson to learn, and you’re not the one that can help them with it. They need someone else who can help them at the level of their block.2) Release them with GraceTo release someone with grace means to let them go with appreciation for the human being they are, for all those special moments you shared and for all you learned while the relationship lasted. So, let them go with grace and bless their journey ahead.3) Deal with your Own FeelingsGive yourself permission to mourn the loss of the relationship and allow your heart to break. Remember that ultimately what’s really breaking is the story you’ve told yourself about the relationship you had. And that your heart is a muscle that needs to ‘break open’ in order to love more. My free webinar How to Heal a Broken Heart can help you with this.4) Send them LoveFind that place inside your heart where unconditional love grows and send them that love. This loving energy will not only help you heal and recover faster from this loss, but also support them along their journey of expansion and growth. A great way to do this is using my process to Send Heart Energy to Others.5) Keep your Heart OpenRemain open and receptive to new love. Be open to the possibility that someone truly amazing could walk into your life at any moment and that this person could be a better fit for you. My Soulmate Call Meditation is a great way to keep your heart open and connect you energetically with the next person you’re going to meet.Finally, remember that in our intimate loving relationships we are both students and teachers at the same time. We come together in order to help each other wake up, heal and grow.And that The Path to Soulmate Love begins the moment you love yourself enough to stop settling for less than you deserve, and wholeheartedly go after the kind of relationship where you’re truly loved, honored and appreciated for the wonderful person you are.Thanks for asking me …..

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS LIST IS STILL UPDATING! Feel free to bookmark this answer so you can come back to it later at your convenience!!The following fanfics will all have wonderful writing and a developed plot. They will also be completed fics!EDIT 1: Took a page out of Sarah Saifuddin’s book and now this answer is structured a whole lot better!EDIT 2: There are quite a lot of fics here (40+!), but I encourage you to check out the entire list! I’d hate for you to miss the tail-end of the list because they’re all so wonderful.EDIT 3: I’ve decided to make a tier list instead of rating each fic individually. I hope this works out! My tiers will be S, SS, and SSS, each S being every ten hours I spent screaming about it afterwards.Let’s start with SSS TIER:“House of Cards” by sugaminsVkookmin // E // 394.9k wordsJungkook is the heir to a mob empire, the most notorious in the whole of Seoul. Taehyung is a rookie sent in to infiltrate by his select team and bring the empire crumbling down."You knew the game and played it, it kills to know that you have been defeated."This fic will take you on a super super dark rollercoaster. The ending had me crying for days on end. It’s kind of a trope at first but it’s got a pretty unconventional plot! The character development is just, mwah, chef’s kiss. It’s incredibly well-written as well, which is a just a cherry on top!To clarify, it is a Gang AU and there will be multiple scenes of violence. (There will also be multiple scenes of Vkookmin getting it on but it’s part of the plot, trust me!!)-“trying to behave (but you know we never learned how)” by christmasyoongiYoonmin // E // 328.8k wordsIt's been years since Yoongi's last seen him and the younger boy is a shell of his former self in a way that makes his heart twist in his chest. And yet, after all this time and countless days of convincing himself to let him go, he's still unconditionally, head over heels in love with Park Jimin.(Jimin and Yoongi grow up together.)The author has tagged “SOMUCH ANGST,” and if that doesn’t give you any clues as to how angsty this fic gets, I don’t know what will. Of course there is a happy ending, but whew, it was a whole Kingda ka and a half getting there. There are some heavy backstories as well as dark themes, so beware of that.I should mention that I’ve cried through the better half of this fic. You will laugh and cry through multiple parts of this story.-“Brotherhood” by sugaminsYoonmin and Vhope // M // 274.3k wordsSeven boys, hundreds of roads, a single adventure.A chance for a few of them to enjoy the last of their fleeting childhoods before adulthood starts to take over their lives; a chance for the others to taste a little of what it used to be like not that long ago. The roads aren’t straight and simple, the miles aren’t easy or entirely enjoyable, but no adventure is without hard work.Seven boys hitting the road to try and find something at the end, but they might just end up finding themselves instead.“Youth is the spirit of adventure and awakening. It is a time of physical emerging when the body attains the vigor and good health that may ignore the caution of temperance. Youth is a period of timelessness when the horizons of age seem too distant to be noticed.”Ezra Taft BensonA literal adventure with all seven of them. There are themes of suicide, alcohol, gambling, drugs, etc. so just keep that in mind before you dive in! From what I recall, it’s mildly based on HYYH, or at least the theme of friendship and adventure is similar. There are secrets being kept and many many untold stories, but as they travel, they learn to depend on each other.This story is really unlike the others. Sometimes in the middle you’ll feel just really sad for the characters but keep pushing! Note that this is the first of a two-part series called “Days Of Our Lives” so there is a completed sequel to look out for as well!-“Songbird and the Sea” by MissterMaiaYoonmin // M // 255.9k wordsIn a world where dominance of the sea is an endless battle between pirates and mariners, Park Jimin is content living in his little village on a small, uninteresting island by the eastern mainland. He wants nothing to do with the bloodshed of good and evil, the heartless killing of both innocents and condemned, the constant establishment and disruption of order. What he wants is peace, to live his life in the same town he was born in, to spend his days in the beautiful forest, and to use the powers of his Blessed Rune to nurture the home he loves so dearly.But when his island is attacked by pirates, Jimin will have no other choice than to do as they command and leave all thoughts of peace behind in favor of boarding the Agust, a pirate ship captained by the infamous Min Yoongi, Black Fox of the East.There are super heavy “Pirates of the Caribbean” vibes, but perhaps that’s only because that’s the only other pirate-themed media I’ve ever consumed, haha. Anyway, we have a super tsundere Yoongi and a pretty shy (but steadfast) Jimin— a recipe for a beautiful and angsty fic!It’s long but so beautiful, and so well-written!! It will hit you in the feels at least once every chapter, I promise. There’s a happy ending as well :)-“Any Time Soon” by sonnenseokSope // E // 228.5k wordsHe's halfway up to his steps before he glances up, just to make sure he doesn't trip over them like he's wont to do when he’s heading in from these late nights, and that's when he spots it. Or, rather, him.A dog.Well, a hybrid.A dog hybrid.A very thin dog hybrid sitting on the steps just in front of the door.Hoseok is a hybrid in this fic! This fic is really heavy on the hurt and the angst but it also gets super soft sometimes. Definitely a belly-acher too! Will update after I reread but rest assured, it belongs in this tier.-“Where The Heart Is” by orphan_accountTaegi // E // 217.1k wordsIf home is where the heart is, then we're all just fucked.(Fall Out Boy - 27)Yoongi tries so hard to come home. Taehyung is already there.(Or, to be less dramatic: Taehyung needs someone to play his boyfriend, and Yoongi lets himself get talked into one hell of a ride.)This is a fake relationship trope, if you’re into that! This fic is wonderfully written with the humorous moments, angsty moments, deep and meaningful moments, etc. It’s the entire package, really. I suppose I should warn that the fic is rated Explicit less for the violence, but more for the sex. There’s quite a lot of sex, but it’s there for a reason!There are some trigger warnings so read through the tags before you dive in. Enjoy!-“A Gilded World” by smilesYoonjin // E // 175.8k wordsJeon Seokjin has exactly four weeks to stop the impending engagement of his younger brother, doomed to a loveless marriage. The only way to stop it is to make a better match, more advantageous, more lucrative for the Jeon family. It's impossible. It's his only option.Min Yoongi does not want, will never want, will never ever even consider, marriage. It's not in the cards. He's stubborn enough to achieve the total ban on marriage talks. Except maybe his grandmother is a little more stubborn than he is, and maybe she's determined to see him march down the aisle.The chaebol arranged marriage au that exactly one and a half people asked for.Yoonjin seems like an unlikely pairing, but the plot is wonderful! Yoongi is a chaebol, and Jin is the most beautiful man on earth. You’d think the two would attract each other but… it definitely takes some warming up. We have a hilarious cousin relationship between Yoongi and Tae as well. I really love the character development in this one.This fic is about family, and what we’re willing to sacrifice for them. If this doesn’t tear your heart out at least once, you’re not human.-“Petals and Ink” by SugarAndMintYoonmin, side Vkook // E // 133.2k wordsJimin likes his new street, his new apartment and his new flower shop. Business is picking up, his days are filled with sunshine and delicious muffins, and it seems as though, overall, he has nothing to worry about.Except that, well. His new neighbors seem to be a little strange.Which is okay, since Jimin is a little strange, too.(A flower shop/tattoo AU, with a twist.)Jimin runs a florist shop and Yoongi a tattoo parlor! Everyone’s in the same neighborhood so it feels super close-knit. There are elements of fantasy, which I’m normally not a fan of, but this one is woven really well into the plot. There are also lots of adorable friendship moments!Yoongi takes (a lot) of warming up to, but really, who can resist Park Jimin? This is another beautiful fic about the lengths we’re willing to go in the name of love.-“Taste of Ink” by sugamins (also orphans_account)Vkook // M // 128.2k wordsJungkook is a drug runner for the largest gang in the whole of Busan: the Sam Yong Pa.One day he bumps into a runner for a rival gang in the next district that has trespassed into their territory: a Geum Sung Pa boy called Jimin. Jimin has a friend, a goon for the rival gang.Taehyung beats people up for a living, and boy, does he look good when he’s doing it.But their blossoming friendships reignite old gang flames and causes the most brutal gang war the country has ever seen.Dragons destroy and stars explode.A/N: Tattoos are very important in gang culture in South Korea, all gang members must have one and they must reveal them during gang-related confrontations. Therefore tattoos are very important to this story and carry a lot more weight and significance than they do in some other cultures.This is a Gang AU and very very very sad one at that. There’s the obligatory action and violence, but underneath all that is an unconventional love story. Sad ending that will have you crying for days. I cry every time I reread the last chapter. [Will update on this fic after I reread.]-“Beta Tau Sigma” by bazookaNamjin // M // 123.2k wordsA collection of events occurring within (and without) the walls of the Beta Tau Sigma fraternity house.At Beta Tau Sigma, there are only a few rules:1) have a declared major in the College of Music;2) keep your GPA above a 3.4;3) don't let Taehyung into the liquor cabinet;4) don't fuck up with Kim Seokjin.The rest is all fine print.If the way the summary was written wasn’t telling enough, this fic is very funny! It’s a College AU where the boys belong to a frat called Beta Tau Sigma (BTS, *waggles eyebrows*). The frat is super exclusive and only the best of the best are accepted.Despite being the creme de la creme in terms of academics, their friendship dynamic is a sight to behold. They all have unique personalities and each brings something different to the frat. There is never a dull moment! (We also get to witness Joon’s gay-awakening.)-“Fake Sugar” by minverseJinkook // E // 87.6k words"I guess," Jungkook pauses momentarily to inhale a deep, bracing breath, "I would just want you to come to my work events and laugh at my jokes and don't correct people if they imply that we're doing it.""Having sex, you mean," Jin clarifies gently, and Jungkook chokes on air. If his face was any redder, Jin would insist on taking him to the hospital. Jungkook clears his throat, obviously trying to play off the strangled, choked sound as a casual cough."Yes. Doing... sex."(Hedge Fund wunderkind and Certified Awkward Gay Jungkook needs a sugar baby to show off at work, and Professional Competitive Eater and Objectively Beautiful Human Jin just wants to stop working shitty side-jobs. Fake Sugar Daddy AU. A trope and a half.)It’s an unlikely pairing but please give it a shot! And as the summary shows, it’s a really really hilarious fic! That’s what you get when you get the dynamic duo headlining a fic.The two have the most fun, seriously. Does it get more unconventional than a hedge fund manager asking a competitive food eater to be his fake sugar baby? Exactly. This fic will make you laugh more than cry.-“The Universe Needs More You” by AttilaTheHunNamseok // M // 86.6k wordsKim Namjoon is in love, and Jung Hoseok is always dating someone else. This is perfectly fine, even preferable, because the universe likes to tell jokes and Namjoon knows it's best just to laugh along. He's certainly got nothing to complain about when it comes to the building blocks of his life, and dating is a lot of effort. Too much effort, really. So it's obviously fine.But the universe's latest attempt at a comedy sketch, where Hoseok moves in with him, bringing the sun and a lot of tiny shorts, might actually make him insane.When I say this author takes slow burn seriously, I mean it! It’s slow burn at its finest, and I’m sure whether or not you’re a regular fan of it, you’ll agree. This fic definitely requires a bit of mental heavyweight lifting, but nothing too crazy. You could actually learn quite a lot from this fic.One of the best Namseok fics I’ve ever read! It’s got perfect dialogue, rich descriptions, fun, angst, and LOVE! Plus some pining, but that’s to be expected. Happy ending :)-“truth so loud (you can’t ignore)” by thestarsaboveVkook // E // 72.6k wordsJeongguk falls in love with Taehyung when he’s 15. Problem is, he never quite learns how to fall out.In short - theirs is a love story a long time in the making.Reading this fic was quite possibly the best way I have spent any three hours. This one isn’t really a AU because it sticks pretty close to reality, which can be off-putting, but the author did a good job. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed and cried this much before in just 70k words.It takes us on an over-a-decade-long journey in which Jungkook and Tae find their way back to each other, time and time again. Beware of major angst, but also some really heartwarming fluff not just between these two, but also the other members (who are strictly platonic friends with each other).-“a hollow tune” by ienveeusNamseok // M // 52.4k words‘i’m gonna get you out of that shitty house,' namjoon tells him, 'and we’ll go on a bunch of stupid adventures together and i’ll rap and you can dance all you want, okay?’‘that sounds nice, namjoon,’ hoseok says, voice soft and faraway.-----‘and then a few years later he went off without you, huh?’‘yeah,’ namjoon says, there’s a lump in his throat, like the beginning stages of a bad cold. ‘without me.’This fic is heavy on the angst! I should mention that it’s entirely in lowercase as a stylistic choice on the author’s part. That shouldn’t distract from the amazing dialogue and angsty plot. Unrequited love is a tag! Get your tissues ready.-“Arcanum” by InterludRealityJikook // E // 52.1k wordsKim Seokjin is the ringmaster of Phantasia, a rundown night circus. Jeon Jungkook has just turned 18 and needs to escape.When Jungkook makes a deal to join Seokjin's traveling band of performers and misfits secrets begin to reveal themselves and as the horrors unfold Jungkook finds himself trapped in a nightmare.This fic is freaky as hell, but has an incredibly sad underlying plot that I wished got more attention. That’s really all I have to say about it. Make sure you read through all the tags because some really… interesting things will happen. (It’s stuff from nightmares.)-“A Sociolinguistic Analysis of Epenthesis in Academic Convergence” by bazookaNamjin // M // 40k wordsEpenthesisA phonological phenomenon in which two disparate sounds meet, creating a third sound between them which wasn't there before.There were a lot of jobs worse than being partnered with world-renowned Absent-Minded Professor Kim Namjoon, but Professor Kim Seokjin couldn't think of what any of them were at the moment.This is the College Professors AU you didn’t know you needed! It’s short and sweet, and very entertaining. There’s also a slight enemies-to-lovers trope, which we all love. It’s insanely well-written and reading this fic will be time well-spent.-“objects in mirror are closer than they appear” by bazookaNamgi // E // 16.4k wordsIt's a four step process:1. Fall into somebody's head;2. Figure out what's wrong;3. Fix it;4. Fade out, rinse, repeat.Simple, really. Foolproof.The problem is that Kim Namjoon isn't a fool, and takes a little bit more time. A little bit more work. A little bit more attention.Yes, it’s another fic by bazooka, hehe. Hands down, one of my favorite fanfic authors for this fandom. The unconventional plot this fic has was really interesting, but also really sad. Definitely tugged at my heartstrings!-“why don’t you figure (my heart) out” by dollyeoNamseok // E // 14.1k wordsIt's not that Hoseok really needs to sleep with Namjoon, he really doesn't. It's just that it keeps happening all the damn time.This fic is probably my favorite Namseok fic! It’s effortlessly funny, it’s written incredibly well, has awesome and engaging dialogue— it’s really the whole package. Not a single dull moment in this one!The author does a wonderful job of giving her characters depth too, so the little angst in the fic packs more punch than you’d expect.-“maps to you” by antikingVkook // T // 13.1k wordsThere is a dick on his face. There is a big, bold dick drawn onto his face in black permanent marker, and though Jeongguk scrubs and scrubs and scrubs until his forehead is red, he only succeeds in smudging it around.He pumps a fistful of soap onto the towel and renews his efforts with twice the vigor. He has hagwon later today, and he’d rather step on Legos than go there like this. Maybe, he thinks, pausing for a second to examine the state of the dick, his parents will allow him to skip just this once. Does this count as a medical emergency? Jeongguk isn’t sure, but his hands are shaky and the towel is shaky and he’s growing more panicked by the second because it won’t come off.He’s going to die. He’s going to die of public humiliation in front of everyone, and then he’s going to come back to life and kill his soulmate, because who the fuck draws a dick on their forehead knowing full well that it’ll show up on someone else, too?This fic is a soulmate AU where marks on skin are transferred between soulmates. Tae has some… interesting affairs and Jungkook is shy, but they make it work. Good for when you need a break from work!-“describe a morning you woke without fear” by 777335Yoonkook // M // 10.3k words“No way.” Jeongguk says, breath ghosting across Yoongi’s cheeks. “Holy shit, I love you.”Yoongi freezes, and then shifts, pulls back.“You don’t know me.” He looks anywhere but Jeongguk. “I’m very unlovable.” He laughs, so it sounds like a joke.Jeongguk doesn’t laugh. He blinks slowly at Yoongi, eyes round and big, lashes catching, like a sleepy owl from a storybook. It’s fucking enchanting. Yoongi looks away again.“No, I’m a very good judge of character.” Jeongguk says. “I love you.” He repeats.(Yoongi meets Jeongguk in the fall, when everything outside is starting to die, and they fall in that good, slow, sweet and sticky like warmed honey kinda love.)Yes, it’s very soft. The beautiful writing, the kind of writing that makes you feel the feelings without ever reading them, the kind of writing that punches you in the guts in the gentlest way, yeah it’s that kind. The kind that makes you laugh and cry. You’ll thank me later.-“wonder” by wordcoutureJikook // T // 7.6k words"You see, one loves the sunset when one is so sad." -- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little PrinceThis fic is “sadness” in less than eight thousand words. I don’t know what else to say except be prepared to shed tears.Next is SS TIER:“浮世 UKIYO” by SharleenaYoonmin // E // 410.8k wordsA story of tender tides and unmoving hummingbirds.浮世Yes, you read that right. This fic is more than five times the length of JK Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. However, never fear! The plot is intense and sure to carry you away. You’ll finish it before you know it.There will be parts that are hard to get through because the rawness and emotions of the characters will make you speechless. The complexity and beauty of the plot and story-writing are sure to draw you in as well.-“Murmuration” by fringecity (also indiachick)Taegimin // M // 167k wordsPark Jimin is a rookie detective at the flashiest department in Seoul Metropolitan. When he's tasked to work with Min Yoongi - an apathetic, disgraced cop handling the ineffective cold case division - he doesn't expect the murder case they're working on to turn intensely personal.For both of them.(Superpowers AU with mysteries! Taegimin)This may be the most underrated fic on this list, aka the ratio of the amount of kudos to how much I loved it is abysmally low, so go and give this one some much-deserved love!!It’s a murder mystery and you will be shocked about 1394810 times while reading. There is so much plot to be enjoyed!-“Conflicting Arrangement” by PrettyBoyKillerYoonmin // Not Rated // 162.5k words"Absolutely not," Yoongi deadpanned. "Namjoon-ah. I value you as a friend, and I think I'd even go as far as to say that you're my best friend, but absolutely fucking not.""You owe me," Namjoon pleaded. "Come on, Yoongi, it's not a big deal.""Your boyfriend's best friend's best friend needs a fake boyfriend to come out to his family this Chuseok, all the way in fucking Busan." Yoongi repeated drily without pause, making Namjoon wince. He flipped a page of his textbook, picking up his highlighter. "Not a big deal, Namjoon. Amazing."If the summary isn’t any indication, this fic is hilarious! Comedy is really hard to write, but PrettyBoyKiller makes it look easy. This will be centered around a fake relationship and there’s a slow burn (who doesn’t love those). Of course slow burn often means angst, and this fic is not an exception!Angst aside, there’s fluff galore! And of course, a very happy ending.-“even the weariest river” by vxminsVmin // E // 153k wordsIt's moments like this that make Taehyung panic. The open derision on each courtier's face, the scorn of his brother as he turns from his prey. The slit of Park Jimin's eyes, just barely open and dark and hateful, as Taehyung swallows and squares his shoulders and says—"I want to claim him."The tides of war change, and sweep Taehyung and Jimin along with them.Yes, this is historical fiction! I actually felt bad for Tae, but if you read, maybe you’ll empathize with Jimin more. It’s very much an enemies-to-lovers-fic, and though the transition to lovers may seem it like comes out of nowhere, read between the lines. With enemies-to-lovers-fics, there’s always the obligatory angst, but there’s a happy ending!!Alongside the love plot, there’s also a whole historical fiction type thing going on— war and whatnot. It’s a fic about how love can make you question your loyalty to your country.-“Fall Asleep (Fall for You)” by drannieVkook // M // 150k words“They say when you fall in love you can’t fall asleep, but now that I’ve met you I feel like I finally can.”A University AU where Jungkook and Taehyung become roommates. But Jungkook has insomnia and can't fall asleep with other people and Taehyung can't fall asleep alone.We all love a good University AU. It’s very friendship-driven from what I remember. [Will update on this fic after I reread.]-“Somebody To Love” by LOVERVMINS (also orphans_account)Vkook // E // 125k wordsFalling in love with another man during the 1950s was never something Taehyung or Jeongguk envisioned. Especially not when they were both married and had beautiful wives.Or, The story of two lovers who were never meant for each other, but destiny found its way anyway.This fic is so heartbreakingly realistic. It details the story of a forbidden and shunned relationship in 1950s England. The very definition of star-crossed lovers, methinks. As the summary reveals, this fic revolves around two married couples. Each couple has a different dynamic, which actually subconsciously pushes the two males of the households to each other.This fic is all about opposites: growth and withering, acceptance and rejection, love and hatred. One cannot exist without the other.-“Up We Go” by Oh_Hey_TaeTaehyung/Yoongi/Jimin // T // 100.3k words“If you’re a witch that works with plants, then why are all of yours dead? That can’t be good for business.”The room dims again, and Jimin lifts a hand to flip off the ceiling. Taehyung knows he’s sad and that’s why the shop darkens and he shouldn’t find it funny—but he can’t help it. Because this is ridiculous. The good kind of ridiculous. The amazing kind.(Or: Taehyung has a green thumb, Jimin runs a magical store, and Yoongi can kind of see dead people.)So everyone’s sad in the beginning but then they get happier but then sad again, and stay sad for a while, and then they’re happy. It’s a really wholesome fic about friendship and building new connections, but also letting go and moving on.There are elements of fantasy (magic and witches), which isn’t really my cup of tea, but this fic was amazing. It’ll get really sad sometimes but things do look up.-“Seeking a Friend For the End of the World” by TheOrgasmicSekeLinking this because it’s really hard to find: Seeking A Friend For The End Of The WorldYoongi/Jimin/Jungkook // M // 78.9k wordsJungkook was holding him against the edge of a bridge and asking him to jump into the unknown with him. He was asking Yoongi to trust him; a kid who he didn't even know existed until a few days ago. A kid that was quickly tearing down every wall Yoongi built up around himself for the past ten years and shoving himself inside, curling up like he belonged there all along.So Yoongi did the only thing he could.He jumped.It’s a very uncommon threesome but the author makes it work. It also ends exactly the way it says it would, so get your tissues ready. As much as you try to convince yourself you won’t miss the characters you got to know in just 13 chapters and 79k words, you will. I speak from personal experience.Such a sad 13 chapters. Especially when you know the end of the world is coming, and there’s nothing the characters can do to escape their fate.-“While Your Lips Are Still Red” by VmintieJikook // E // 78.6k wordsAfter losing his way in the forest, Jimin is kidnapped by a cannibal wolf pack on the night of a sickle moon.To keep from becoming the Head Alpha's next sacrifice, he realises mating with a pack member is the only way to stay alive. And as it so happens, he chooses the big dog himself.I believe this is the first ABO trope on this list! As it is ABO, there will also be fantastical aspects to this fic, not limited to just the existence of werewolves. If you’re into the Found Family trope, this is also for you. However, this will be focused on just Jimin and Jungkook’s relationship for the most part. For more OT7 appearances, you can read the sequel. I find it very worth your time to read both!-“Blackjack” by nicowememoneyOT7 Friendship // T // 78.1k words[Group052] Jung_HS: anybody there[Group052] Jung_HS: help im alone in this weird small room and its so dark and theres no door no nothing only this weird touchscreen device thing on the wall[Group052] Jung_HS: anyone?[Group052] Min_YG: I’m here, same situation[Group052] Min_YG: Damn if we’re group 052 does it mean that there are at least 51 other groups like this what kind of mass kidnapping is this[Group052] Kim_NJ: I think there’s more.[Group052] Kim_NJ: Why else would there be a 0 in front of the 52 unless they need the third digit? There can be hundreds of groups.[Group052] Min_YG: Wow you’re a smart one aren’t you, now find a way to get us out of here[Group052] Kim_NJ: I’m at a loss. If we can get to talk to whoever abducted us we might figure something out.Pied Piper: Hello. I am your kidnapper. Do you want to play a game?[Group052] Min_YG: Holy shitIn which seven strangers are abducted to secluded rooms and forced to play a game of life and death in which they have to communicate with each other through a chatroom. Can they work together to survive and figure out how they’re connected in time to escape the impending doom?It’s largely in texting format, but still so entertaining! It’s a mystery fic, and can get a little scary sometimes, but I promise that it will all make sense in the end. This fic is very lighthearted and is focused on the OT7 friendship. However, there are lowkey ships sprinkled in.-“closing time” by onceandforallTaejin // T // 68.7k wordsKim Seokjin, frontman and lead singer of internationally famous rock band LOST, thinks he has his shit together.He doesn't.This is the rock band AU some of you have been looking for! Jin, Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook form the rock band LOST and Namjoon and Hoseok are their labelmates as rap-duo CYPHER. There’s a fake relationship trope between Taejin which inevitably means angst.The custom skin on this fic is amazing and you can tell onceandforall really went all out. Most links in the actual fic are interactive and I just had the most fun and happiest time reading this fic. You won’t regret it!-“The Bet” by jonghyunslisterineJikook // T // 46.4k wordsWhere Jeon Jungkook makes a bet that he can get the notoriously single Park Jimin to sleep with him by the end of the semester.Needless to say, things don't go exactly as planned.This is a short and sweet college AU! The plot is a bit cliche, but the author makes it work very well! It’ll tug at your heartstrings at bits, but there is a happy ending. Mostly, haha.-“At the Edge of the World (we will be together)” by maia_archivesYoonmin // M // 41.2k wordsFour years have passed since Min Yoongi retired from his role as a PPDC ranger. Four years have passed, yet he’s still haunted by the mission gone wrong, memories picking away at his sanity every passing day and dreams plaguing the nights in between. It’s been four long years, yet he’s still stationed at the Busan Shatterdome Base. Now, he spends his days training new cadets to be pilots for the gargantuan Jaegers, resigned to seek distraction in a life away from the heat of the battle.Then comes a cadet with hair the color of the sun and a smile brighter than all its rays combined, and a stubbornness that makes Yoongi want to tear his hair out in frustration.The fact that I first read this fic nearly a year ago and still remember the plot vividly should be a good indication of how good this is. Matter of fact, I’m about to reread it now. It’s another enemies-to-lovers so be prepared for the heavy angst (which we all love).I should also mention that this one is a Pacific Rim AU. I read this fic without a clue about what that was, but you’ll be able to pick up on it quickly. The crossover actually makes the plot super interesting.-“Falling for you again” by Rose_gold715Jikook // T // 31k wordsJungkook loses all memory of the last five years of his life.Jimin is scared he will never love him again.Like the summary, the fic is short and pretty angsty (as all fics with amnesia are). It’s a fic about learning to love again!-“the universe has moved for us” by jonghyunslisterineJikook // E // 30kjimin already has enough on his plate, juggling a pregnancy and his teaching job, without his hot Alpha neighbor thrown into the mix.This fic really just is a bunch of fluff. As you can tell from the summary, there are ABO dynamics. The one where Jimin is really really strong on his own but being pregnant inevitably means that he’ll need help and really, what’s your hot Alpha neighbor for? Help, exactly.-“twenty-four” by fruitilyYoonkook // T // 20.3k words“i’m doing a social experiment and writing about it,” taehyung says easily. “i decided to handcuff two people together for twenty-four hours and have them report back to me on the experience. you guys are an ideal pair for this, really, because of your contradictory lifestyles. kookie goes to the gym every day, yoongi hasn’t seen the sun in what, four years -““jungkook has a semi-healthy sleep schedule, and yoongi texted me at two a.m. asking if i want to grab dinner,” namjoon supplies.“i am the pinnacle of health,” yoongi snaps. the handcuffs clink as jungkook lifts their arms.“so you just. handcuffed us together while we were sleeping?"This one is really funny! If you’ve got an hour or two to spare, this fic is a good choice to pass the time with.Last but not least, we have S TIER:“The Omega Revolution” by PinkBTSJikook // E // 158k words"Loving you was like going to war,I never came back the same."-Warsan ShireOr,There are things Jimin loves. There are things Jimin hates. In the middle of a shifting world, Jeon Jeongguk manages to be both.It’s an ABO AU and there will be quite a lot of action in this one! [Will update more after I reread.]-“A Home in You” by springrain21Yoonmin // E // 116.3k wordsIn the near future where most of society has collapsed due to the sudden and unexplained drop in the omega population, Jimin has spent his life ever since he presented as an omega on the run. When he escapes from a lab that was holding him captive for experimentation, he is rescued by a group of rebel freedom fighters who believe in omega rights, led by alpha Min Yoongi.At first wary of their intentions, it takes awhile for Jimin to trust them, especially Yoongi, who is an alpha unlike any he's met before. Eventually though, Yoongi is able to break down Jimin's walls and the omega finds himself slowly falling in love.But in times like these no one is safe, especially a highly sought after omega like Jimin, and Yoongi and the others find themselves willing to do anything to protect Jimin and keep him from harm-no matter how dangerous and radical.This is an ABO AU. There’s an enemies to lovers trope, if you’re interested in that. [Will update more after I reread.]-“Echo Chorus” by smilesYoonjin and side Jikook // T // 95.7k wordsPersuasion AU. Five years ago, Seokjin was persuaded to break up with the only man he has loved, brilliant producer and adoring boyfriend Min Yoongi. Now, just as Seokjin's record company is failing, Yoongi returns, cold and seemingly indifferent. As they continue to circle around each other and navigate the idol world, Seokjin must determine his future, and if Yoongi has a place in it.There’s a lot of angst in this one, I’m warning you. There will be misunderstandings, which will frustrate you, but before you know it, it’s over. It’s a fic about being understanding and forgiving, things a lot of people unfortunately forget are integral parts of a successful relationship.-Shake That Brass series by ohdizzy59.6k words (both parts)Part 1: “Blow Me Like Your French Horn”Jikook // T // 40.2k wordsIn which Jimin undergoes a transformation from Cinnamon Roll to Sinnamon Roll and Jeongguk is a little too competitive, a little too tsundere, and a little bit too moony-eyed for his own good.(A tale of red converses, sandpit wrestling, shitty best friends a little too obsessed with playing Cupid, emotional constipation, existential crises, and that one body roll Jimin does that makes Jeongguk re-evaluate his life)“i see that you adore playing your loud ass trumpet at random moments in the middle of the night, well fyi i happen to be a master at the French horn so fuck u i challenge you to a brass off” AUPart 2: “Will You B Minor”Teagi // T // 19.6k words“Hey baby, my brass isn’t the only thing that’s upright.”“Goddamnit, Kim Taehyung.”In which Taehyung is full of useless music-related pickup lines and Yoongi is too confused, too awkward, and too smitten with a certain Saxophonist.(A story with one too many midnight serenades, Americano’s, hungover misunderstandings, exploding washing machines, and that one little snore Yoongi does in his sleep that makes Taehyung want to catapult himself into space for No Apparent Reason.)Both parts of the series are super light, and very very funny! I recommend these fics if you’re looking for something short to fill in your time.-“The 100-Day Love Challenge” by jeosheoYoonmin // T // 19.2k wordsFor a variety show challenge, Jimin must tell Yoongi every day for 100 days that he loves him.Let's get this shit started.There’s not really an AU as the boys are still idol group members of BTS, but of course it’s still a work of fiction. There’s a little bit of angst, but otherwise, it’s pretty light.-“someone to stay” by pardonVmon // E // 15.9k wordsThe first time Namjoon meets Taehyung, he decides he must be stuck up. All lanky limbs and teeth in that expensive red jacket worth too many meals for comfort. It's funny, he thinks, just how wrong first impressions can be.This fic is quite canon in that the author included a lot of in real life events (most of it is centered around their first US tour and their first BBMAs). It’s a friends-to-lovers trope, but expect a healthy dose of angst as RM sorts through his feelings.The reason I put this in S tier and not any higher is because personally, though this was really well-written, how canon it was kind of unsettled me. I enjoy fanfics because they (usually) offer a complete escape from the reality the boys are actually in, whether it be that they’re pirates or gang leaders. This one hit pretty close to home so it was hard for me to enjoy it as much as I would’ve had it been more non canon.-“time will be frozen for us” by 777553Yoonkook // E // 11.6k wordsThe first time it happens is an accident.Well, more accurately, the first time it happens is because Yoongi is a giant pushover and Jeongguk’s scrunchy nose smile could get him to walk through an ice storm in the dead of winter, even though Yoongi hates being cold more than anything.Yoongi acknowledges this ‘softness-toward-Jeongguk-truth’, albeit not to Hoseok, Namjoon, and Seokjin who pointed it out—(“If he said he needed to, like, knife you for a project you would let him.” “I would not.” “You genuinely might.” “You totally would.” “You’re legitimately considering if you would right now.” “Would all of you kindly fuck the fuck off.” “You’re irritated because it’s true, Yoongi-yah.”)----(or yoongi and jeongguk fall asleep in some beds together and then there's a lot of metaphors, low key skinny love cliché, somewhere between slow and fast burn, and then kitchen counters and lotsa touching)Soft and sexy Yoonkook! You’ll also chuckle quite a bit as you read. It’s got the beautiful writing, the kind that makes you feel all types of things.Don’t be restricted to the ones on this list! They are only here because of personal preference.Please also note that these fics are not listed in any particular order besides word length (from longest to shortest) within each individual tier.All of them are fair game so just choose the one that appeals to you the most!If you do end up reading any of these, I would love to discuss it with you. Drop me a message or comment below. I promise to respond!