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PDF Editor FAQ

Have you ever had a job where you did nothing for years and nobody found out?

I had a summer job working for the state of OK. Enough time has passed now I’ll go ahead and say - it was for Parks and Recreation Dept. Essentially, my job was to get the snail mail correspondence out to all the state parks and other entities in the state. We did this about once a week, to about 100 locations.These offices did not have computers in most of them - maybe only 10% did (yes, this was a while ago). So, the job was to print the correspondence, put the printed copies in the typewriter (yes typewriter) and fill in the blanks, then print the address labels, and send them out.Turns out with focus, I could easily do this job in probably 2 days, leaving the rest of the week free. So, I would do other little tasks and study or read when I could get away with it.Now, being bored, I even read the typewriter manual. And there it was. The typewriter was actually programmable! So, I set about putting every address into memory, and setting up each required typing task for the pre-printed letters so that all I actually had to do was feed the letters into the type writer. The envelope labels printed with the touch of a button. First week after doing this I was done in about an hour. The office manager seemed confused. She asked me if I was going to do the mail this week. I told her that it was already done.The second week, I did it again and now she asks how I could be done already. So I explained that the typewriter is programmable and I programmed it to do the mail. Strangely, she did not look happy. Now, when I went to do the next batch, I noticed all the programming had been erased. Strange but I figured I must have made a mistake somehow and erased it. This time, I meticulously reprogrammed the type writer and made sure the programming stayed through any power conditions (by unplugging the typewriter overnite, etc). Everything was fine.You can probably guess the rest. I ran the next batch and then found the programming erased again. At that point, I knew that somebody had to purposely do that with a factory reset or something. I’m certain it was my boss, the office manager. You see, she oversaw the budget that the job was being paid under (and she and her boss’ mission was to grow the budget, not shrink it). Also, I’m sure she was afraid that she might look stupid because something that took a week for the last 15 years could be done in a hour. I tried to explain the typewriter programming and what was going on to a fellow long-time employee. Blank stare and confusion. Yep, government in action.

Can I say an employee didn't give a 2 week notice when called for a reference?

I agree with the other posters, never say anything derogatory (answer with just the dates as needed). I have heard a subtle response is that the employee 'worked to his satisfaction' and let the new employer fill in the blanks.

Why did we ignore our intuition when first dealing with a narcissist? Why did we not listen to that inner voice that said "something is not right here"?

I needed to believe she was who she was pretending she was. She showed me very little, however: just enough to jibe with what I wanted to see.It has elements of stories I have read about con artists.I was fresh out of a failed relationship, so I was vulnerable.The narcissist was interested in me, but arranged it so that I felt as if I were pursuing her completely on my own initiative; for a couple of weeks, she had been ubiquitous at places I hung out - as I learned later, she didn’t like socializing, but she appeared all at once, in several places.All my recollections of the first stage seem to be out of Dale Carnegie: she hit all the main points, particularly the part about being a good listener, which allowed her to learn who I was while not tell me much at all about herself beyond mirroring. As much as possible, she let me fill in the blanks.Accounts of con artists mention that these people have boundless patience, and are able to listen to their marks drone on for hours.Not telling me anything about herself: This was to continue for over two years, so that by the end, I consciously understood that I was inferring who she was from indirect evidence. (Sheesh, narcissists are stressful to live with.)She had that aura of the victim, a sort of person I would not have imagined as predatory. This was something she could pull off, because there was truth to it: Her home life as a kid had been bad.With the exception of one frightening emotional outburst, there were no concrete warning signs during the first few weeks. But the push-pull of alternating intimacy with distance began within the first couple of days. Affection was fed in drops rather than a flow.I really go for women who continually withdraw, because I grew up around it.Reviewing the main points:intermittent reinforcement (rationed flow of affection)aura of damage (she didn’t have to fake this - she had a shitty past)good listener, saying little - put me at ease, and let me decide for myself who she waslet me think I was doing the chasingI was utterly smitten (“ga-ga” would be the term), and felt accepted by this utterly validating presence, while also feeling cold, insecure and alone at the same time.I had just left behind a relationship with a good person who was complicated. I was now presented with an ideal image that I desperately wanted to be true and believed to be true. Meanwhile, my gut was flashing red “Warning - do not proceed - threat detected. Flee now!”I suspected there was something terribly wrong, even that there was a facade. She would periodically tire and turn into a blank slate, as if the acting was over for the night. I noticed this.Here’s the problem at this point: One can know something is not right, but it’s not just the desire for the fantasy to be real that fools you. It’s cognitive dissonance - the very presence of this clash between two views of a situation - that weakens your resolve and disarms you. Cognitive dissonance is exhausting. Under its influence, we tend to flee to the more pleasant alternative - the fantasy - just to make cognitive dissonance go away.By 2–3 months I was done for.People who study con artists believe we’re all vulnerable at all times, even going so far as to include themselves. Studying the elements of the con is little defense against being conned.From things I’ve read in the past few months, about both narcissists specifically and con artists in general, I now believe the following:A narcissist could enter my life and zap me all over again - I have merely been luckyFor safety, we rely mostly on the relatively low incidence of these people in the population to protect us from them - awareness protects us somewhat, but not completelyNo one is safe; empath-schmempath - they’re skilled enough that they can take down anyone they choose; they may prefer certain targets, but they can handle anyoneBe safe out there.

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