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The Final LettersIn police work, there are many things you see that you would rather have not seen. Suicide by firearm seems to be at the top of my list. I only experienced this once in my career.Sure I have found people a day after the person lost their head, sort of, with the blast from a shotgun — what a mess. It’s very inconsiderate to the family members or even first responders who have to deal with this.But only once, when I was responding to a call of a man with a gun was I quite close when the shot was fired. I was out of my patrol car with a partner and running up an outside staircase which led to the man's apartment when we hear the bang. He is sitting on the landing at the top of the stairs with his back against the wall, looking at us. He had a small caliber handgun still in his hand, and the barrel remained in his mouth. He was alive for the moment, but it was apparent he wouldn’t survive.My partner took out a pair of latex gloves because there was blood, and started to put them on. I didn’t wait for gloves and grabbed the gun with both hands and first peeled his finger off the trigger. I then peeled the rest of his fingers from around the gun and handed it to my partner.I wasn’t sure how this man felt about the police, but I was going to be sure that he didn’t take one of us with him. The man expired while we were at the scene. There were skull fragments and white and gray brain matter against the wall behind where he was sitting. Even after shooting himself he remained upright and seated.A crime scene was immediately taped off, and detectives were brought in to investigate. The first unique discovery was that the handgun was fired twice. The first bullet was later found flattened but still in the brain cavity. It must have struck the inside of his skull with sufficient force to fracture it but did not exit. The second bullet was found underneath the man's body.Something I learned from detectives that night is that it’s not uncommon for a person considering suicide by handgun to fire a test round to make sure the gun is working properly. The noise from the first shot was reported by a neighbor and drew us to the scene.Had our arrival hurried this man's final desperate act? That's something we will never know. I would have loved to have had the chance to speak with the man and perhaps change his mind. But that wasn’t to be.I was permitted to enter the man’s home with the detectives and found a neat and well-organized apartment. He had this entire event meticulously planned out.On the dining room table were a series on neatly organized envelopes lined up in a perfect row. Three were separately addressed to family members, while one was marked Funeral director and last one simply said: Police. Inside the envelope, marked police was a neatly handwritten letter. The first thing I noticed was that the letter was dated with today’s date. The letter explained that he had taken his own life freely. He went on to explain that he suffered from a very painful and debilitating terminal illness which would lead him to a more painful state before his eventual death.He provided us with the names and contact information for several doctors who were treating him. He also asked us to make sure we contacted the funeral director first, so his family members would not see him in his current state. He went on to ask us to hand-deliver the other letters to his family members and provided their addresses, which were all local. He closed his letter by apologizing to us for any mess his act may have caused.We next opened the letter to the funeral director, as it was unsealed and only identified with the words funeral director. Again, we found a neatly handwritten letter reminding this funeral director of his pre-paid funeral contract. The letter advised that one of his children had the written agreement. He went on to provide significant detail on his final arrangements, down to the suit in which he wanted to be buried.The final three letters were to his children and were sealed which is how our officers delivered them to his loved ones.A cursory search of the apartment which is standard in any crime scene identified two more, nearly exact sets of letters. Each set of letters were also handwritten but had different dates on them. Each roughly a few weeks apart. It was clear that the man had planned his demise on several prior dates and but hadn't or couldn't go through with it, until tonightWe reviewed these earlier letters because they were not in envelopes or sealed. The letters to his children were very loving and apologetic; asking for their understanding and forgiveness for his decision. They also spoke of the hopelessness of his medical situation and the difficult decision of letting go.I never met this man until that night, and yet I feel like I knew him. In reading his letters, I believe that he was a decent man confronted with an impossible problem with no good solution. His final written thoughts were of comforting and reassuring his family and seeking their forgiveness for his decision to end his pain and his life.

This is common where I’m from in Western Canada. I would venture to guess it’s common in the English speaking world. [1]Generally, it goes something like this. One partner of a long married couple dies. The other has to plan the funeral. At this time, a burial plot is bought. This gets the surviving partner thinking about not wanting to burden family, and pre-paying for their own funeral.from the webpage of the Toronto Star‘There were a little over 88,000 registered deaths in Ontario 2009, the most recent year for which statistics are available. A little more than half of the subsequent funerals involved cremation with the rest ending up as a burial.’‘ But pre-paying for your funeral is common practice. As of 2009, 230,814 people had pre-paid funeral contracts had been purchased in Ontario, totalling more than $1.4 billion in funerals, according to the BFS.’[1] Is it a good idea to prepay your funeral? | Toronto StarAll you need to do is google <prepaid funeral plans>+ <your area>, and you can find out how popular this is. Examples belowGet a Quote or Request a FREE Information KitPrepaid Funeral Plans | Funeral Insurance | The Co-operative Funeralcare

Telling survivors that pre-paid funerals purchased by their deceased loved ones were only a credit towards the full, final cost of a funeral.This is a BIG LIE. Pre-paid funeral programs are contractual arrangements that generally include the cost of almost every incident of the funeral service and burial, except for a few more minor items whose cost cannot be easily predicted or controlled in advance: perhaps the cost of the obituary, flowers, or clothing in which to dress the decedent, should it need to be purchased.I have been involved in funeral arrangements at two different funeral homes where an attempt was made to perpetrate this fraud. Why does it happen? Because the funeral home managers who are inclined to take advantage of mourning families know that it appears unseemly, cheap, and ungrateful to argue about price at such a time.Even after I have pointed out to the relevant funeral home directors that I had read the pre-paid funeral contract, they still attempted to negotiate a price higher than what the agreement provided for. They only gave in when I said, “By the way, have I mentioned that I’m a lawyer?”Don’t give the funeral home the original of the contract if you can avoid it; at least make a copy for yourself first. Remember that there are usually state mortuary licensing boards and authorities to complain to, as well.