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Grandma had an affair, got pregnant from that affair. Never told a single soul. My Dad(the child from affair), grew up thinking Roy was his Dad, had his last name and everything. He never knew Roy, Grandma divorced Roy(in the late 40’s). Roy disappeared when my Dad was a toddler. Grandma wouldn’t tell him anything. Somehow he got enough info that he found his Dad when he was in his 20’s. Roy had passed on by then. So he didn’t pursue any more leads. My sis was heavy into genealogy and about two years ago tracked down Roy’s family/relatives. We found them on FB and my Dad got to know them. His family did dna testing and so did my Dad. Everyone was a bit confused that Dad didn’t connect in any way to Roy’s family. We didn’t have long to wonder because my sister was contacted by HENRY’S family asking why we were a DNA match. Turns out Roy and Henry were serving together in the same Government unit in a teeny town together. We don’t think Henry knew about my Dad but we do think Roy knew my Dad wasn’t his. Otherwise we don’t think he would have left. Grandma took all this to her grave. My real Grandfather was from Poland, then lived most his life in Niagara Falls NY thousands of miles from my Dad. He never married or had any kids. He died in his 80s. If we had only figured all this out 12 years ago, my Dad could have actually met his REAL dad. Kinda sad.

When my oldest child was about 4 years old I was giving her a bath when she just stopped playing, turned to me, and said very matter of factly, “I have green eyes, so I’m smart, and you have dark eyes, so you’re dumb”.I. Was. Floored.I’m Hispanic/ Latin/ American Mutt - and that sort of racist crap was not overheard in my house! It was like she had punched me in the gut. I was speechless!Tears welled up in my eyes, I was able to croak out the question, “what do you mean, Sweetie?” Then she answered, “my eyes are light and my skin is light, so I’m smarter than you, because dark people are stupid.”She was so matter of fact about it, it made my head spin. I told her to “wait a minute. Daddy would be right in”, and went to get her father to finish her bath. I just couldn’t look at her and I didn’t want to lose my cool. Her dad spent the rest of her bath telling her she hurt mommy’s feelings, and asking where she got that idea.After a good cry, I decided her daycare was my next stop because she was only ever at daycare or our home.So, the next day, I marched into their office and had a chat with the Director. Their Pre-K program was purportedly Bible based, and they were visibly shocked with what I brought to them. They put forth “she must have heard it somewhere”, and I pointed out she’s either with me or with them, and I’m Hispanic, I’d NEVER say that. And they went white, which was impressive for blonde white folks. They changed the ENTIRE last two weeks VPK curriculum to be cross-cultural sensitivity education, which I was appreciative of. Because she either heard it from a kid or from a teacher, and neither was ok.EDIT: So, thank you so much for feedback and questions. I added more details to my exchange with my daughter, because the full context was needed. Although, I tend to identify as Latina, I really should put it out there that I have no distinct personal cultural identity due to the unique circumstances of my childhood. But I am “brown”/ “hispanic” by Census measures and prett much EVERYTHING by genealogy.I have since come to wonder if she didn’t pick it up from her father’s parents, because his family had it in for me from the beginning. They’re of Ukranian decent and and don’t like us brown folks very much; me in particular.

My Mother always told us the story of her adopted aunt that was told to her by her Mother. Back in the 1800's (not sure of the dates) when my grandmother was a small child, the family decided to immigrate from Scotland to Canada. While they were waiting to board, a young woman rushed up to them with a newborn North American native baby. She begged the family to take the baby with them so it would have a chance of a good life. So they did. They settled in Winnipeg and owned a boarding house. The only picture the family have of this child is a portrait of her with the other siblings (my grandmother and great uncle) when she was around two years old. My mother never met her, apparently according to the story the child ran away when she was 16.A few years ago I decided I had better start researching my family tree before my mother passed and I didn't want to miss the opportunity to be able to ask her questions about her family. Mom was 92 at this time.So I got on a genealogy tracing web site and it didn't take me long to track them all down and get the birth dates etc. Turns out, the native baby was born 2 years AFTER they came to Canada. After going through censuses and reading the list of boarders that resided there over the years, I discovered a gentleman with a rather native sounding name. He was living there the same year she was born. I have no idea what this means? Did my great grandma have an affair with him that produced this child? Did they just adopt this child from this man who was raising her by himself? There are no adoption records that I could find and the census lists her as their daughter. Even if they did adopt her, why lie and say they brought her over from Scotland? When I told my mom this she just couldn't believe it and said there was no way her mom would make up a story like this. I had to literally show her all of the documents I found to prove everything to her. I tried to carry on my research to find more info on the child but she just seem to disappear after the age of 16. No death records, nothing. She may have changed her name but I have hit a brick wall and I guess we will never know the real story.