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My oldest of four children has Asperger Syndrome (AS). He wasn’t diagnosed with AS until he was in his very early teens. He is now 22. He enjoys being with people and friendship has always been important to him (it is something he talks about), although he is content spending a lot of time alone too. My son is also a slow learner, likely fitting somewhere into the bottom 25% when it comes to general IQ – no doubt this also fits into who he is, but from a parental perspective this challenge seemed minor compared to dealing with the effects of AS. As expected with AS, his people skills (i.e. neurotypical people skills) were his biggest challenge to fitting in and establishing friendship.Over the years, my wife and I approached the challenge of friendships from two fronts: the first revolved around getting him into the right controlled social settings, the second around teaching him how to be a friend.Getting Our Son into the Right Controlled Social SettingsFinding potential friends was difficult. You can’t arrange a play date if the other child is not interested in playing with your child. Also, other children on the spectrum who were a good fit for our son are rare, although it might be different in a larger city. The reality was our son seemed to attract more bullies along the way than potential friends.For our son to be accepted, it took controlled circumstances in the right setting, typically with an adult present all the time or close by. (School generally did not meet this criteria. It wasn’t until high school that he had people he called friends at school.) It was always in some kind of group with an underlying creed, motto, or philosophy that promoted respect and accepted differences.When he was in elementary school an active church with lots of kids worked well, providing fun social activities in a supportive environment (with mom always close by). But after moving we tried to establish the same and couldn’t. Perhaps it was because of the different ages or the different dynamics of the churches. (When he was older he complained he was invisible to everyone at the church.)Another circumstance that worked very well when he was young was an after-school daycare at a private home. The woman, very loving and still a great friend to our whole family, kept 5 boys after school. She loved our son, keep an eye on him, and absolutely would not tolerate the other boys picking on him or excluding him. We were lucky!When he was older, Boy Scouts worked very well, although I think cub scouts would have too earlier if we’d have thought of it. Despite controversy surrounding Boy Scout's national policies, the troops I came in contact with were strongly oriented towards teaching the boys character and integrity, so our son was always treated respectfully. He never really enjoyed the camping, etc., but the social aspects were great for him and he eventually became an Eagle Scout.Siblings are also a huge asset . They accept their brother, want to interact with him, and include him in their activities.(Sports in elementary school provided more social exposure, and were certainly good for our son, but they helped little with building friendships, especially since our son is uncoordinated. Sports after elementary school…forget it unless your child has some talent.)Teaching our Son to be a FriendOur ongoing aim was to teach our son better social skills, which we hoped would eventually result in friendships (as well as other benefits). This took years (actually we're still working on it) with slow results but we believe the effort clearly paid off in many ways. Mostly my wife and I taught him (going over the same points over and over) but we also took him to social-skill classes and counseling (the school also provided some special coaching).For example, the rule when driving home from an activity that didn’t go so well was to review social mistakes and if appropriate role play a couple of times to get it right next time. (Social errors that make parent’s cringe at the time actually fade pretty quickly with most people not remembering.)Our son never liked any kind of change, so growing him meant constantly pulling him out of his comfort zone – this sometimes played a part in the social circumstances too. In junior high we had read where some boys his age had begun home schooling to bypass not fitting in. We believed this would have been a wrong move for our son, as forcing him to have social interaction daily was good for him…still there were days when he would prefer to just swing on the swing set all day if we let him. Junior high was tough!And of course there were lots of talks…talks about what it means to be family and what it means to be a friend.Children with AS can LEARN how to interact and make friends just as NT child do – it just takes much longer with different methods, and accepting that most friendships will not have a lot of depth in the early years. It takes the parents continual support (and patience!), gaining in very small steps with eyes on the big picture.All this said, growing up our son really had few friends and these were not the come-over-and-hang-out type of friends, but he was overall happy socially, grew, and worked through childhood as everyone must.Now he has a neurotypical girlfriend which he goes out with two times a week (he likes schedules). He also has a real friend (he met years ago through Boy Scouts) that comes over once a week for video games, movies, etc. He is also in a bowling league where he enjoys social time and friendship across the age spectrum. And he maintains a set of older "background" friends that are important to him although he only occasionally crosses paths with them.Finally, once a child reaches full adulthood, a parent can be a real friend. When you meet a man who says his dad is his best friend, you are very happy for them. So, I would encourage a healthy friendship from mom and dad, or even an uncle.

Depends a lot on your definition of optimize. Note: everything here is based upon my knowledge of the military as it was during the 90's.I actually have a somewhat similar career path as you do having enlisted in the military at a relatively advanced age (26-27) even though I could have taken a commision. Because I'm really good at test taking and academics in general I finished first academically in every school I ever attended in the Navy. In some schools I set academic records (I had the most weeks with a perfect score in the history of my A school) despite the school having trained tens of thousands of sailors. Finishing first counts in the Navy more than any other service. I was offered commissioning programs at three points in my Navy career, ECP, OCS, and something else I forget, they sent me to take the SAT's and when my score came back 1530 they tried to get me to take some program that I think has been discontinued but I turned them all down as my reasons for being there were anything but financial (I took a 75% pay cut to enlist). Advancing in rank is driven by tests in the Navy to a much larger degree than any other service.You are correct you can easily jump to an E-4 in the Navy. If you have 24 or 30 credit hours I think you'll start as an E-3 but if you take a 6 year program you can jump to E-4 upon graduation from A-school without a single credit hour. There might be some options to make E-5 but the only one I'm aware of is joining the Navy Band.One note of caution, actual knowledge and 'paper' knowledge are not comparable in the military. There are people in the real world with no common sense, a sub 100 IQ and a master's degree. Many organizations will put them above you in the hierarchy and the government is one of them. I was a project engineer building multi million dollar construction projects in the real world before I enlisted. In the Navy I was sometimes working for a 22 yr old kid who probably barely passed high school couldn't lead a pack of cub scouts and who you wouldn't trust to close up shop at an ice cream parlor if he was your employee. You need to be mentally prepared for this eventuality.The least qualified lowest potential members of the military are some of the people who stay in for a career because there is no path to success in the outside world for them. Some of those people are genuinely pissed off when you're making rank too rapidly and they can make things difficult. More than once I ran into a 10 year E5 or 13-14 year E6 who was openly antagonistic that I was an E5 in 1 year and 9 months. One of them actually actively tried to prevent me getting promoted. The normal progression to E-5 is 3 years minimum and that assumes you do well on the test and they are promoting enough people that cycle.Being fluent in Russian might be a big bonus though it might pigeonhole your career options if you make the military aware of it. "The needs of the Navy come first" means no matter what you want to do or think you're going to do in the Navy if they determine that you're more valuable elsewhere you're going to go where you're told.Second note of caution: You need to be careful about thinking you're special, despite what you and I'm sure your mom think in the military you are just a number. I get it, you're smart, me too, triple nine society kind of smart, but none of that matters at many points in your military career. You'll be on working parties doing manual labor at some point if you enlist in the Navy. Even if you pick a path that gives you E-4 or E-5 right away you'll likely wind up in an organization that all or most of the guys had that same option and thus the value of being that rank will be decreased. If you're an E-6 in a group of E-7's guess who gets the shit jobs? If you go to work in the military you are no longer special. You might be ordered into a dangerous situation and take a bullet or get blown up or killed in any number of ways that sailors get killed.You seem overly confident about dealing with the military and getting enlistment perks. The Navy deals with millions and millions of people, you deal with the military once. Who do you think is better at that game?You're purporting to be near financial independence. To me that conveys a networth of at least 3M dollars. In a conservative investment program it's pretty reasonable to expect you would be able to make 6 figures every year for the rest of your life which wouldn't be living high on the hog but definitely gives you the freedom to do as you choose with your time. I can almost guarantee you won't make a career of the military after experiencing that kind of freedom. You'll often wonder why you're subjecting yourself to the structure and sometimes inane conformity that is pressed upon you by the necessities of the military. You'll definitely never look at your military paycheck and think "man that's a lot of money". So it all circles back to what you think your reasons are for being in the military.Being an officer is not that great in your situation (unless your plan is to retire in uniform). Most officers in the Navy are middle managers. Their primary role is in administration and paper pushing for the troops. It's not like the Army or Marines where a junior officer is going to lead troops into combat. I guess you could become the CO of a small boat by the time you're JG of LT (O-2 or O-3) but I don't know that for sure. Other than that the only great jobs for junior officers in the Navy would be pilots and SEAL team platoon leaders. I didn't see you mention either.It's not all doom and gloom, there are some amazing opportunities in the military in terms of adventure and interesting life experiences but if you have 3-4M in the bank you can experience a lot of adventure all on your own and not deal with the negatives of the military life. You can't just quit in the military.