How Does A Record Deal Look Like: Fill & Download for Free

Howard walks into the living room where his wife is watching TV. He holds a notepad in his hand.Howard: “Excuse me. May I have a word with you?”Howard’s wife mutes the TV and turns her attention to him.Howard’s wife: “Sure, Love. What’s up?”Howard: “We’ve been together for almost 17 years and after reading a question on Quora, I realized I never really set my expectations for this relationship. I’d like to do that now.”Howard’s wife: “I see. Should I be writing this down?”Howard: “I have everything written right here.”Howard’s wife: “Of course you do. Please, proceed.”Howard brings the notepad up and starts reading.Howard: “Number 1: I expect you to respect my feelings, my body, and my values, as I will respect yours.”Howard’s wife: “A very reasonable expectation. Done.”Howard: “Thank you. Number 2: I expect you to have sex with me every day.”Howard’s wife: “No.”Howard: “We’ll come back to that one. Number 3: Whenever somebody talks about how big something is, I expect you to reply, ‘Not as big as my husband’s penis!’”Howard’s wife: “Not happening.”Howard: “Tough crowd. Number 4: If I fart in public, I expect you to take the blame.”Howard’s wife: “Nope. What else ya got?”Howard: “Wow. It’s a wonder you were able to find a man at all. Number 5: Prior to each lovemaking session, when my penis makes its appearance I expect you to dance and sing the following song in the style of “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music:(clears throat)‘Sunshine and rainbowsAnd all things that taste goodThese can’t compare to his wonderful manhoodI bask in its glory as I start to singAnd now it is time to have fun with his thing’”Howard’s wife: “Hmmm. Can you show me what that’s supposed to look like? You know, so I do it correctly.”Howard: “Certainly.”Howard proceeds to sing the song, twirling like Julie Andrews in a meadow of flowers. As he finishes he turns to see his wife recording with her phone.Howard: “Why do you have your phone out?”Howard’s wife: (putting her phone away) “No one ever believes me when I tell them you do shit like this. Oh, and that’s a ‘No’.”Howard: “You know, Hon, relationships are all about give and take.”Howard’s wife: “Okay. Why don’t you give me a realistic expectation and I’ll take it seriously.”Howard: (sighing) “Fine. I expect you to love me and deal with my silliness for as long as you deem me worthy.”Howard’s wife gets up from the couch and puts her arms around his neck.Howard’s wife: “Now that I can do.”Howard and wife share a kiss.Howard’s wife: “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.”Howard: “I expect you to wash your hands.”Howard’s wife: (holding her phone up as she walks away) “You should expect a few phone calls when I put this video on Facebook.”So to answer your question, all that a husband can really expect from his wife is her love and respect.Good luck with anything beyond that.

Like everyone who is commenting, I was rattled at first by your question till I took a closer look. At first glance it seemed like you were merely trolling but I hope that you actually just want to know why most Nigerians (living in Nigeria) are not mixed race.In that case, that would be a good question that I might be willing to answer. I may not answer your question but I will make it clearer to others who seem like they do not understand.The truth is that your average Nigerian looks like this:When you see many Southern Africans and South Africans, they are quite more red skinned like:It will be pretty normal to see people there who look like this[1][1][1][1] :How about South Africa's Indian history from the 17th century [2][2][2][2]:I do not think that we in Nigeria had any organised Indian community in Nigeria in the 1700s. The question is why?Let us move to Ghana. This is what the average Ghanaian should look like. The beautiful Nana Rawlings:Now, if you are familiar with Ghanaian celebrities, Nadia Buari and Majid Micheal will be faces that you see very often.By their names Majid and Nadia, I would guess they belong to a middle Eastern community, probably Lebanese[3][3][3][3], who settled in Ghana a long time ago.There are certain Northern Nigerian Elites whose children look like the above actors. I might place them in the same group or a Shuwa Arab ancestry[4][4][4][4].We also have mixed race actors like:Shan George.Ramsey Noah:Lilian Bach:Hilda Dokubo:If you trace most of them to their states of origin, you will land in the South-South zone of Nigeria. My mind is telling me one thing: expatriates.I have watched many videos on results from Genealogy, Family Trees & Family History Records [5][5][5][5] . I paid attention to guys from Morocco, Egypt, South Africa and many people from the horn of Africa; Ethiopians and Somalians. Their results would mostly look like this: 60% Subsaharan Africa/Zulu/Benin Kingdom, etc + 40% Indian/Persian/Eastern European etc.For most Nigerians, it's going to be 99.9% West African. If you tried other geneology tests like African ancestry[6][6][6][6]or 23andme[7][7][7][7], they might be able to tell you that an ancestor of yours lived in and migrated from a valley in Cameroon.The question is that: why does Nigeria not have a substantial community of non negroid races who settled here a long time ago? We have access to an ocean like South Africa, Ghana and Somalia. We were colonised by Europeans like most of these countries too. Arab merchants travelled down as far as the middle belt areas before the 19th century. Why did they not settle in Nigeria is a good question. If they had settled in substantial amounts, our colour would have been a more diverse range of black. This is not a race or colour question.Perhaps they struggled with tropical illnesses, hostility from their host communities and much later, unfavourable government policies? I am not sure.The fact remains that your typical Nigerian who has never set foot outside Nigeria will be properly melanated, with thick and kinky 4C hair like this: (me)This to me, is great material for genealogical, archaeological and biochemical research. Let's say that they want to test how a certain drug affects black people, where would they come to? Nigeria. The concentration of “blackness" would probably be more here, than in any other place in the world. I am not against race mixing, I am just saying that it's not a big deal.100 years from now, majority of black people would have a percentage of another race in their DNA. This is what has been projected by many studies[8][8][8][8][9][9][9][9] .Let us enjoy this present moment while it lasts.Footnotes[1] The Dutch in South Africa, 1652-1795 1802-1806[1] The Dutch in South Africa, 1652-1795 1802-1806[1] The Dutch in South Africa, 1652-1795 1802-1806[1] The Dutch in South Africa, 1652-1795 1802-1806[2] Indian South Africans - Wikipedia[2] Indian South Africans - Wikipedia[2] Indian South Africans - Wikipedia[2] Indian South Africans - Wikipedia[3] Ghanaian Arabs - Wikipedia[3] Ghanaian Arabs - Wikipedia[3] Ghanaian Arabs - Wikipedia[3] Ghanaian Arabs - Wikipedia[4] Baggara - Wikipedia[4] Baggara - Wikipedia[4] Baggara - Wikipedia[4] Baggara - Wikipedia[5] Genealogy, Family Trees & Family History Records[5] Genealogy, Family Trees & Family History Records[5] Genealogy, Family Trees & Family History Records[5] Genealogy, Family Trees & Family History Records[6] Trace Your DNA. Find Your Roots. Today.[6] Trace Your DNA. Find Your Roots. Today.[6] Trace Your DNA. Find Your Roots. Today.[6] Trace Your DNA. Find Your Roots. Today.[7] DNA Ancestry Test, Find DNA Relatives - 23andMe AU, DE, FR & EU[7] DNA Ancestry Test, Find DNA Relatives - 23andMe AU, DE, FR & EU[7] DNA Ancestry Test, Find DNA Relatives - 23andMe AU, DE, FR & EU[7] DNA Ancestry Test, Find DNA Relatives - 23andMe AU, DE, FR & EU[8] Charts: The Major Demographic Shift That's Upending How We Think About Race[8] Charts: The Major Demographic Shift That's Upending How We Think About Race[8] Charts: The Major Demographic Shift That's Upending How We Think About Race[8] Charts: The Major Demographic Shift That's Upending How We Think About Race[9] Race of the future - Wikipedia[9] Race of the future - Wikipedia[9] Race of the future - Wikipedia[9] Race of the future - Wikipedia

Punishing people who don’t say “thank you” by muttering “you’re welcome” under your breathLondon terrorist attack - man flees from the scene but refuses to spill pint. And at London prices, who can blame him ?Signing off an email with “regards” as opposed to “kind regards” to let the recipient know just how furious you are with themPantomime dames. Who says Cinderella’s ugly sisters can’t be played by men - usually older men - in dragStaring at your phone until the dreaded “unknown number” stops ringing.Choosing the most expensive sandwich and drink in a meal deal to ensure you’re getting the very best value for money.Tea. Yes, we drink coffee, but in times of crisis nothing is more British than popping the kettle on for a cuppaFiring up the barbecue the minute the temperature reaches double figures with no rain forecast. (Also known as “shorts weather”)Bloody BrexitEskimos have around 50 words for snow. Brits have a similar number of ways of saying “thank you”Saying “let me come in your suitcase” if anyone mentions they’re off on holiday.Saying “I can’t believe how dark it is” at 4 p.m. from November until the following spring.We would rather stab ourselves in the eye with a fork than say something positive about ourselves. Compliments from strangers make us feel embarrassed.Arguing about whether scone is pronounced to rhyme with stone or gone. And then arguing about whether to put cream or jam on first (note, it rhymes with “gone” and it’s jam THEN cream)Talking about the weatherNot hearing someone having already asked them to repeat themselves, and responding by laughing and hoping for the best.Being unable to hand over the correct amount of money for a purchase without saying “I think that’s right”Sage advice on the London UndergroundResponding with “it’s fine” when you actually mean that things couldn’t possibly get any worseStephen Fry with a corgi outside Buckingham PalaceApologising when someone stands on your foot, or even apologising to inanimate objects.Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s best to never speak again“Can I have some of this cheese?”“No, it’s for Christmas”“How about some biscuits?”“No, they’re for Christmas too”“A slice of bread?”“CHRISTMAS!!”Being unable to say “sounds thrilling”, “”thanks for that” or “what a shame” without sounding sarcastic.EDIT It would have been remiss of me to not add this. Guns ? We don’t need guns !UPDATE It’s Christmas. Mull everything. Wine ? Cider ? Water ? Get it mulled.