In This School We Do Second Chances We: Fill & Download for Free

Many Americans will tell you that they believe in second chances. Some will quote the Bible, or recite some practiced phrase about human nature and the ability to change.I've tried to remember what my feelings were on the subject before my tour of the labyrinth. If anything, I simply didn't think about felons. Ex-cons, inmates, criminals were one of those things… out there beyond my experience, something that seemed to have little or no relevance to my upper-middle class life.If someone had told me back then that they were a felon, I'm sure my eyes would've gone wide and I would've begun patting my pockets to make sure my wallet was still where it belonged.Americans don't trust what they don't know or understand. Unless you've been through the meat grinder yourself, or watched it happen to someone very close to you, you'll always see me as a felon first, and a human being second.I know now that I met felons every single day back then; I just wasn't aware of it.There are twenty million felons in the United States, six percent of the population, or better than one out of every sixteen people. If you count adults only, the number is something like one in twelve. We're washing your car, bagging your groceries, mowing your lawn, preparing your coffee… you deal with felons all the time, we just don't wear t-shirts that announce our past.And, why should we? For all the BS about second chances we don't really believe in them. What second chance is an addict given? Being released from prison is the second chance. We take a person who needed treatment, not a cage with violence, and toss them right back into their old community. Only now, instead of decent jobs and homes, all we can find are dead end positions and distressed housing where our coworkers and neighbors are all other felons.I've seen plenty of meth-heads start using again because everyone they know is tempting them. It's like one of those models of nuclear fission from high school science—one atom degrades and a chain reaction quickly ensues.Yes. Plenty of felons do re-offend. The system is rigged to ensure it. Our paths must be straighter because we have more rules to govern our behavior. Where you enjoy the freedom of a two lane highway, we have only a sidewalk, or maybe less—a gutter—to walk in.Much is made of the idea that two thirds of felons re-offend. If average citizens had all the restrictions we do, two-thirds of them would find themselves in hot water as well.I'd put money on that.Or… I would, if the conditions of my supervised release didn't prohibit it. ;-)

One of our daughters asked if she could invite a girlfriend and two guy friends over to watch a movie one evening. One of the guys was my daughter’s friend’s boyfriend and the second guy was just a friend. We said it would be fine.As soon as they came over, our daughter introduced us to the two guys. Then, they all went into the basement to watch their movie. My husband turned to me and said “Did you get a look at those guys? They are both stoned.”We discussed what we wanted to do about this situation. We agreed that we would call our daughter upstairs and speak to her privately so as not to embarrass her in front of her friends.Her response was not what we had anticipated; she actually became really angry. She knew that these two guys smoked weed at times and she told them beforehand that it would not be okay if they came to our house stoned.We gave our daughter a choice – we said that we could call them upstairs and ask them to leave, or if she preferred, she could speak to them herself and ask them to leave. She chose to do this on her own. Within a few minutes, both of the guys left our home. We were very impressed with how our daughter handled this situation.A few weeks later, our daughter asked us if these two guys could come to her birthday party which was going to be held in our house. We explained to her that this was not going to happen as they blatantly disregarded what she had told them before they came over. We felt that the whole scenario was very disrespectful. She accepted our decision and never challenged us.Three months later, my daughter was about to graduate from high school. She asked us if she could throw a barbeque at our home for her friends. We said that it would be fine. She then asked us if those two guys could come to the barbecue. My husband and I said that we would discuss it and get back to her.We sat down and spoke to our daughter about our decision. We told her that we would agree to give them one more chance and that they could come to the barbeque on one condition – she had to tell them in no uncertain terms that they could not smoke weed before coming to the party and if they ever did again, they would never be allowed to return to our home.The day of the barbecue came and our daughters’ two friends showed up, but this time, things seemed different. They looked us square in the eye and thanked us for allowing them to attend the party.After all of her friends went home, our daughter told us that the two boys went over to her during the party and thanked her profusely for being given a second chance to prove themselves. They actually told her that we were the only parents out of all her girlfriends who allowed them into their home. We felt like we had made the right decision. Everyone deserves a second chance to make a better choice.

Perhaps I'm not so optimistic as my comrades and my answer may reflect my pessimism in this regard. Apologies now.First of all, life doesn't give you jack shit. So no.Secondly, if by saying second chances you mean a re-do, or shit, let me try that again from the beginning, absolutely not.This doesn't mean you can't become a good person after being a douche bag your whole life up until now, or you can't finish school and graduate at 97 years old. All this means is once you act, whether in voice, action, inaction, or the like, it is out. Separated from you and a part of the universe. These cannot be taken back. It's as simple as cause and effect. Life is just a name for specific time. Like an hour or minute. The specific amount of time in “life” varies given different people.What many would consider a second chance is merely a first chance. You never have second chances or tries. You only have this try. In this moment. All other attempts that you perceive as failures are really just first tries. Every time you perceive to be doing something over on repeat remember that you are wiser and contain more knowledge and understanding than the try before. So it is a new lesson.You don't need a “second chance” at anything.Yesterday means nothing of your future unless you mean to re-tread to a time before you gained this painful wisdom. This wisdom comes at a cost little one. Sometimes the price is steep. It never unlocks the same door twice and each threshold you tread reminds you of the last. And the excuses you carry as a child fall asunder and leave you exposed and naked. Never surrender to their moment to moment assumptions and false senses of security. All we have is this moment, and a choice to choose which door, which reality, and just how significant this first moment, and the first one million infinite moments of the rest of your forever will be.