Roads In Limbo: Fill & Download for Free

Oh man. This is such an awesome question, and I had way too much fun with it. Be warned: NSFW language and content ahead.Ok, so I’m Dante. I need a guide, and I need nine levels of my own version of Hell?Well Dante took Virgil, one of the most influential and respected poets in history, so I’d want a guide who was just as influential, respected, and downright badass:George Carlin.As I wander through a dark wood, I see a figure appear before me.“You’re late,” he growls. “Let’s get this s**t-show on the road. I got a threesome lined up with Cleopatra and Helen of Troy in an hour, and they’re not gonna wait for me to finish dragging your sorry a** through a damn political allegory.”We approach the vestibule of Hell, wherein I see a gate with the inscription:“Welcome to Hell! Visiting hours are from 9:00 AM-3:00 PM M-F. Please do not feed the damned.”We stop first in Limbo.First Circle: LimboHere reside all whose sin was indecisiveness. Whether it was choosing where to eat or what to eat when someone finally caved and chose a place for them, these souls were damned for not being able to just make a freaking decision.Their punishment is to sit in a crowded restaurant, torn between two entree choices which are perfectly equal in every possible way. They have no friends to give input and there are no coins to flip.Second Circle: Bad DriversThese wretched souls never used turn signals, drove five-under in the fast lane, and turned on their hazard lights in the rain.Their punishment is to be eternally stuck behind a school bus on an otherwise empty road.Third Circle: The ObliviousPeople who share obvious hoaxes on social media and stop in the middle of theme park walkways reside in the third level of this Hell.There is no ironic punishment for them; they wouldn’t understand the significance anyway.Fourth Circle: People who mistreat service industry workersWhether it’s sending back your veal parmigiana for the sixth time or yelling at retail cashiers on Thanksgiving Day, you’re stuck here for your transgressions.Their punishment is to serve the eternally indecisive souls in Limbo.Fifth Circle: TelemarketersThere’s no excuse. They knew what they were getting into when they applied for that job.Punishment: A phone rings incessantly during dinnertime for eternity. Every time they answer, they have to listen to a 30-minute presentation about timeshares in North Korea.Sixth Circle: Internet TrollsThis circle is filled to the brim with YouTube flame war participants and lurkers from extremist political websites.Their punishment is that Hell has only one Internet service provider: America Online. All the connections are 56K dial-up, and they get kicked any time one of the telemarketers answers the phone.Seventh Circle: TelevangelistsThe confused souls of Benny Hinn and Creflo Dollar grace this deep circle of Hell, shouting Bible verses and casting out the (curiously plentiful) demons in their comically ham-fisted way.Punishment: They have to spend eternity using chopsticks to roll pennies to pay back all the donations they conned from desperate people during their lives.Eighth Circle: Anti-Vaccination ActivistsPunishment: PolioNinth Circle: CEOsAt the lowest level of Hell, the Board of Directors from every major financial institution, pharmaceutical company, and oil conglomerate in America must sit in a board meeting with Satan while he reads the U.S. tax code in a Bobcat Goldthwait voice.Returning to the land of the livingAs we climb down Satan’s Armani pant leg, George looks over at me and asks if I want to do some Blow next weekend with him and Hendrix.I tell him it sounds great, but I might lose my job, and no one would believe that the ghost of George Carlin convinced me to do drugs. He says he understands, but calls me a ‘wuss’ anyway.As he walks off into the ether, George looks back and says, “That’s a shame. Jimi is playing a gig with Kurt Cobain and Ronnie Van Zant in Valhalla. Everyone’s gonna be there. It’s gonna be sweeeeet….”And he disappears into the mist.

Probably because the 21 year old drinking age is ArtificialWhen I attended college, my home state had a drinking age of 18My college was in a state with a drinking age of 21We drank responsibly at dorm parties and never had a problemWhen I went home for vacations and the summer, I was able to go to a bar and drink responsibly.Then the state that my college is in, changed the drinking age to 18 when I was a 22 year old graduate student there.I and many others were able to take our younger (18+) ice hockey and soccer mates to bars and have a good time singing and drinking responsibly.Everything was fine.A few 16 year old students in the local area get drunk and die in a car crash. People over react and within a couple of years the drinking age is artificially raised (via holding road improvement money in limbo) to 21.People vote at 18People are arrested and are tried as Adults at 18People can marry at 18People can enlist and join the military and die for the USA at 18Many colleges are trying to get the drinking age Lowered to 18 so that they can Teach responsible drinking. You can't teach responsible drinking if the drinking age is 21, since it is "illegal" for the college to knowingly allow them to drinkIt is a stupid law, and the college students know that.

For the same reason why the inland shipping portfolio is not a "hot cake" like the railways or aircraft : there is little money to be made. You construct a dock yard, dredge a few areas, insure your equipment and hire a few people. You are done in the inland waterway business. No tollgates, no private partnerships, no grand 8 lane roads and no long term contracts. There are very few avenues to cheat and everything is accounted for.In India, inland navigation is 5-9 times cheaper than road transport and 2-3 times cheaper than rail in terms of both money & carbon emissions. It is also safer and requires less manpower to operate and maintain. A small info-graphic:Other than The Inland Vessels (Amendment) Bill, 2005 GoI has shown very little interest in it since 1920s. There is some use in Kerala that I am aware of. Havent noticed much profitable use in other states though they exist in NE belt. Railways itself is underutilized in this regard compared to roadways. With FDI in retail on its way, this trend is only going to increase, not decrease as they are planning to "improve logistics and infrastructure". As of today the development of Inland waterways is in limbo. Deep freeze. Minimal funds.Besides, there is general lack of interest in this even though India uses only 0.003-0.2% of the capacity of its waterways (tonne kilometers) citing trivial reasons such as seasonal floods/drought and maintenance. While that is true to a certain extent, problems exist in every sector - why abandon it?I would be happy to hear alternate views on this issue.