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Akshita, was the most brilliant student of the class. Her name was always there in the top three. A bubbly girl, quite intersting personality. She was friends with everyone, a very charming soul. Though she was what they called “a topper” , but she didn’t hesitate to bunk classes, skip lectures. She was our partner in crime.But as soon as we entered class 11th, we could see a change in her behaviour. She was no longer our partner in crime. She came to school, sat in a corner, and then went home. Her grades were deteriorating. We asked several times, that what had happened to her, but she just gave some excuses and never opened with us. She was no more the Akshita we knew.Time passed and our mid terms approached, it was the time when everyone was giving their best to score good, we could see Akshita doing nothing but just passing away the time. As a result, she failed.We didn’t have any idea about what was happening in her life, we asked several times, but she never responded.It was that day, when I came to know, through my mother that Akshita’s parents were divorcing. The reason was not known, but the news of them divorcing was not false.I called Akshita,Me- Akshita, what happened?Akshita- Nothing yaar.Me- I know everything, you can share with me.Akshita- Who told you all this?Me- That doesn’t matter bro, now tell what happened?Akshita(literally crying)- My parents are separating. Daily conficts, fights, violence has eaten the shit out of me. I don’t know what’s my mistake in all this. They have asked me to choose between my mother and father. I don’t know. For lifetime, I will be deprived from the love and care of any one of my parents. And I don’t want that to happen. My world has turned upside down.Me- Can we meet?And she cut the call. I knew she didn’t want us to know about that. And we all respected that. We never asked her again about her parents.At times, wonder that what was Akshita’s mistake in this. And honestly, she was the one who suffered the most. At a fragile age of 16 or 17, she witnessed breakdown of relations, ugly fights and what not.Aksar maa baap ki galtiyo ki saza baccho ko bhugatni pad jaati hain.Live in Peace:)

I am from RWANDA! A beautiful country in the East African Region.8 out of 10 people I meet in the United States and Europe seem to assume that still 1994-RWANDA they watched in movie about the Rwandan genocide. They ask me: Have you seen the movie, “Hotel Rwanda”? Is that real? How is the country right now? Is your family okay?I can tell you that despite a horrible past ( 1994 genocide against Tutsi), Rwanda is much more than that. We are moving on together, stronger and faster than anybody envisioned. Today, 23 years after 1994, Rwanda is definitely nothing like “Hotel Rwanda”. We are a peaceful, developping country, with ambition to change the course of its history for the better. Bear with me as I introduce you to my beautiful home. My country, RWANDA.Kigali: The capital city of RWANDAKigali has been voted as the cleanest and one of the most organized cities in Africa. In 2017, The United Nations nominated Kigali as the most beautiful city in Africa.The beauty of Kigali combined in one! It is also a major tourist attraction.2. Environmental Sustainability ( The first country to ban plastic bags in the World)The use of plastic bags was banned in 2008. Literally, no plastic bag is allowed to enter Rwanda. Even at the airport, you give up your plastic bags, and they give you biodegredable reusable paper bag. It is amazing! Check out this british journalist story at the Rwandan Airport ( Credit: The Guardian UK).3. Monthly Community Service in the whole countryIt’s called Umuganda in the local language, which means “ working together”. The last saturday of the month, each community delegates a place to meet up and do something positive to the community. Usually, activities involve cleaning up, planting out trees, building a house for the poor, infrastructure ( a local school, hospital), or something of that nature.The idea is to work together for the betterment of the community and the Rwandan society at large. See this man in the photo below? Yes, he is the president of Rwanda. He does the Umuganda too. In fact, every month, he goes around different locations around the country to do Umuganda with the people.4. Paul Kagame, the best president in Africa, right now.I can’t think of any other president who has transformed his/her country, literally from being hopeless to hopeful, from a disaster to a economic recovery, from literally nothing to something. Perhaps, most importantly, he has inspired and motivated the next generation of young leaders, like myself. He leads by example. He does talk less, but he does so much. A complete opposite of many African leaders. The man of action, himself! He just got elected for another 7-year term.5. The most number of women in the parliament in the World.64% of the the members of the Rwandan parliament in both chambers ( senate and deputy) are women. No wonder why the country is doing well. Regulations mandates that 30% of all government institutions have to be women. From top level ministers level to low level leaders in the communities. You talk about women’s rights, equality and all that? In Rwanda, we don’t just preach equality. We are doers. The population is 50% men, 50% women, so it makes sense to include women in all levels of decision making in the government. Doesn’t it?See this photo below? All women flight crew, Captain and her co-pilot of the RwandAir, the national air carrier and the Minister of Foreign Affairs. Very rare to see elsewhere, but not in Rwanda.6. Tea and Coffee ( Some of the best coffee in the World)Every year, Rwanda coffee wins some of the best international awards for best quality coffee. Order you some here if you are interested. Let me know if you have had any other coffee that competes with ours.I am a coffee stud myself. So, I would be interested to know who are our competitors!7. Kigali Convention Center ( The most expensive building on the African continent). It cost about 300 million USD.It is a masterpiece of architecture combining arts, culture, and modern design together. it is a major venue for big national and international meetings and assemblies. It has hosted African Union meetings, the World Economic forums, and many more.8. Regardless of your nationality, you do not need to a visa to come to RWANDA.Starting January 2018, you don’t need to apply for a visa to come to RWANDA. Want to come to Rwanda? No problem. You will get a 90-day visa at all Rwandan borders and airports if you are African; and 30–60 days if you are from other continents. While other countries are closing, tightening up their borders, we are opening them and welcoming the world. I love it.9. Beautiful Mountain Gorilla and amazing Safaris ExperienceRwanda has 50% of all the mountain gorillas in the world. They are endangered species, so Rwanda does a great job at preserving these treasures. You will have the best experience touring and visiting the amazing creatures.Also, if you want to see all sorts of animals ( Hippos, Lions, Zebras, etc) at their natural habitat, Rwanda has all you need. Akagera National Park and Nyungwe National Park are the main ones. Forget about the zoos, come to Rwanda. We will take you where they live. This is my cousin photo last time we were there. Amazing experience!10. Rich culture and Traditions (Amazing hospitality, great and friendly people. ):Rwanda is a very welcoming country. We have a rich culture of dance, music, arts and all that. There is nothing we enjoy more than sharing our culture with others. If you come visit us, we will be happy to share it with you. Below are a few photos of our sisters showcasing our amazing culture through dance and music.Bonus pictures : Delicious Food ( as requested by many readers).I will need to make a separate post about our food because I love Rwandan food and I can talk about it all day long. But we eat just about everything. We have a very diverse set of choices whether you are meat lover like me, vegetarian or vegan. Our food is primarily organic. Our fruits and vegetables are fresh from local farmers and markets. No long frozen stuff. We do not like that kind of stuff.Below are a few pictures.Roasted potatoes, beer, and Brochettes! Any bar you go to in Rwanda, they will have these 3-items. It is a good combination, drinking and eating.Rwandan breakfast fruits along with coffee, tea, or juice and usually bread.This is a Rwandan buffet. All you can eat for $ 6–7 dollars. Very cheap, but yummy as hell! It is a combination of rice, beans, fresh french fries, sweet potatoes, green banana, soup, spaghetti, meat ( fish, beef or chicken) and other local spicy ingredients. When I am hungry, I can easily finish two of such plates with drinks.Aerial view of my hometown, Kigali at night, also the capital city of Rwanda.That’s all for now. I hope you learned something new about my country, RWANDA. Obviously, there are many facts about RWANDA, but this is a good introduction. If I get more upvotes, I will make another post. I will expand on arts, fashion, sports, economy, and other interesting facts about RWANDA.If you travel quite a bit, I hope I can convince you to add Rwanda on your wishlist. Remember, no visa! I will be happy to assist you in any way I can.Cheers!Credit to Rwanda, the heart of Africa, facebook page for allowing me to use their pictures. For more, check them out! Peace!Didier ChampionUpdates ( Edits): ( 21 January 2018)First of all, thank you so much for all the love and support ( 55, 000 views and 3, 400 upvotes). I owe you another article as I promised. This time, I will expand on arts, fashion, sports, economy, and other interesting facts about Rwanda. Stay tuned.I also have some good news to share with you.2018 is an exciting year for my beautiful nation, Rwanda, and for travelers around the world. As a proud Rwandan, I am very happy that we are finally starting to get the recognition we deserve by many international tourism agencies around the World.Rwanda have been featured among the “must see” locations for the year 2018 by various international travel agencies such as CNN Travel, New York Times, Huffington Post, The Telegraph, the Vogue, and many others. This is a big deal folks!Whatever small part this post played to spread the word out, I am very thankful for your massive positive reactions.When I publish a second article, I will let you know.Thank you once again.Didier Champion

“Culture I live in” is a bit fuzzy. I am an Indian Muslim from Kerala, so my upbringing involved values from Indian, Keralite and Muslim culture.And here are a few things which I dislike.The uncompromising demand for conformityIt is drilled into every child's head while growing up that they have to be like everyone else. Or at least, the mainstream successful version of everyone else. At every stage, you have to do the expected thing. Pick the right branch and course. Take a job from the acceptable list of jobs. Marry at age X — from your expected religion, caste, class, gender and age of course. Have a child immediately. And so it goes. Also, as a society, the majority keeps trying to enshrine their personal religious/cultural practices into law and into the public sphere.And if you do not toe the line, the entire village will be out to get you straightened up. Random people you have never met before will demand explanations as to why you are not doing what you should be. And if you are a single woman who has passed the advanced age of 25, welcome to life in hard mode.[1]All of which brings us to the next point…The vilification of the ‘other’ and the ‘deviant’It was only after I was an adult that I started introspecting how racist and prejudiced we were towards the other groups. When I was growing up, the bogeymen to be scared of were the immigrant manual labourers from Tamil Nadu who we referred to disrespectfully as Annachis. They were darker than us, they did the jobs that we wouldn't, and that made them the perfect target for our disdain and stereotyping. Soon, we started treating them as inherently criminal people responsible for everything from petty theft to child kidnapping, and innocent people were attacked by mobs who were suspicious. These days, the labourers are from North India and as a result, Bengalis are the new other.And this disdain, mistrust and stereotyping of other groups is something that occurs too much in India. Differences of religion, caste and language soon devolve into horrible stereotypes. Sometimes it feels that the only thing that can keep Indians together is shared hatred for someone else.And the “other” need not even be another group. Non-conforming individuals are continually subject to mockery and disdain. The girl wearing “modern” clothes, the husband who stays at home while the wife works, the divorcee, the couple in a pre marital relationship, the gay/trans person — all are made to suffer for their transgressions and shown as examples what not to be.The hierarchy and extreme obedienceSometimes it feels that the whole of Indian society is set up like a billion-strong military unit. All our relationships are hierarchical and people try to maximize slight power differences to our advantage. Even romantic and college junior-senior relationships which should have been more equal end up being about the powerful party dictating terms.[2] Unquestioning respect and obedience are demanded.And there is no better example of this than our student-teacher relationships. The student is supposed to take the teacher's word as gospel and obey everything without questioning. One of the stories I learned in primary school about being an ideal student was that of Upamanyu.[3] It goes like this: Upamanyu's teacher learns that he is well-fed from the alms he receives. He asks Upamanyu to submit the alms to him instead, which he does dutifully. As he is still found healthy, the teacher asks him and finds out that Upamanyu would go begging a second time, which he forbids. Upamanyu then tries to sustain himself through different means — drinking the milk from cows and then the froth from the calves' mouth — and the teacher keeps forbidding then one by one. Hungry, Upamanyu eats a poisonous plant and goes blind. The gods give him his eyesight back as a reward for his obedience.That this story was taught as a moral about how an ideal student should be and not as a case study of a psychotic bad teacher is revolting. And many teachers abuse this expectation of unconditional respect and obedience from students, mentally harassing them. The inability to ask questions to the knowledge authority as children is perhaps a reason for the widespread acceptance of fake facts and pseudoscience in our country. Professors making their PhD students do their chores is common in Indian colleges. And some even take this practice with them after leaving India.[4] My Swiss PhD supervisor was twice my age and still we used to address each other by first name. Whereas I know an Indian professor who got angry with a student for addressing him as “Dear Sir” instead of “Respected Sir”!The insane attitude towards sexualityI kept thinking of other adjectives, but anything less than “insane” would not do it justice. The entire society considers it their collective responsibility to make sure that people do not have sex. The madness starts right from gender-segregated schools. Parents also object to any proper sex education in school (OMG, what if they know that sex is a thing?). It is absolutely forbidden to even have serious friendships with the opposite sex, forget a romantic relationship. “She talks to boys” is considered a character flaw. A lot of parents try to get their girls married right at the legal age limit (or even before if they can help it). And otherwise, well into adulthood, we do everything to make sure that young people can't have sex. Can you imagine a rule that adult men should leave their hostel doors open when they have a female visitor in any sane modern country? And that would be a more “liberal” policy. In my wife's college, even her father was not allowed to visit her in the hostel! And she studied in an IIT, one of the best and most metropolitan institutes in India. Forget that, there are people who shut down hotels for allowing unmarried couples.[5] Even the police extorts and harasses couples in hotels sometimes.No, no sex for you. Not unless you get married. Then you can have boring sex in your room (we would check by peeping into your rooms if we could) as long as you behave as strangers in public without showing any affection to each other. So get married. No no, you can't find your own partner. We will make sure that your bride/groom is from the right caste, religion and class to make sure that you are suitable for each other. We are sure that it's all that is required for a successful marriage. Everybody is happy in marriages here, no one gets divorced you see. We are sure that it has nothing to do with how we make life hell for divorcees.[6] What, you are gay? Sorry, can't allow you to marry — it is against our culture.But get married and we won't wait a week before badgering you with questions about whether the “good news” is here yet.Footnotes[1] Raziman T.V. (റസിമാൻ ടി.വി.)'s answer to If you could change one aspect of your culture, what would it be?[2] Raziman T.V. (റസിമാൻ ടി.വി.)'s answer to Is referring to a senior by calling him 'Sir' a good tradition?[3] Mythological Story : Upamanyu[4] Indian-Origin Professor In US Accused Of Using Students As Servants[5] Bizarre: OYO Rooms' Coimbatore lodge sealed for allowing unmarried couples[6] Raziman T.V. (റസിമാൻ ടി.വി.)'s answer to How come Indian arranged marriages tend to be more successful than white people marriage who actually marry each other because of the love they share?