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I responded to a similar question earlier - and append it below. I would also add:Keep all communication to a minimum, and preferably in writing. Obviously, no contact is not possible - but communication is required to co parent properly. Documentation is also useful in the event that agreements are not maintained.Still keep documenting any behaviour that you may feel is inappropriate when they have access to your children. Often, N’s use the children as weapons against the ex/victim.Ensure any breach if any legal agreement is documented and if necessary brought to the attention of the authorities.Do no try and influence your children’s opinions of your ex or any future partner they may have. This is very difficult, especially when they create difficult situations by gaslighting and manipulating their own child (? Yes - I know!) to put you in a bad light.Try and be as honest as you can with your children about any fears of mental or physical safety and wellbeing of your children - that is your responsibility as a good parent. But be age appropriate please.Protect your children from any abuse you are aware of. You would not let a stranger abuse your kids, would you? Apply those rules to the N.I hope this helps - it is a long and difficult and sometimes thankless path (usually accompanied by constant attacks and sniping form the sidelines by the N and their “flying monkeys”) - but with your love and support and strength, your children will come through this and move on with their lives. You will e the one to make that difference“Please first seek a support group online, or in the area to help you through this. Relationships with Narcissists can often lead to mental damage or illness (or worse) of the victim. This is not your fault and can be resolved. In my opinion, healing is the first step. Secondly, you HAVE to be there for your children - you need to show them there is a right and wrong way of being a parent. Them knowing you are there and you love them will be a source of strength to them - in the event that s/he applies the very damaging symptoms of their condition. Which is most probable. Work at healing and getting strong. Believe in your children and always be available to them when they to reach out. Based on their ages - it may take some time for them to get an understanding of what is going on - they have to reach this stage on their own. Be strong for yourself first - and they will recognise and learn from that. Remember - no matter what happens - at a young age - they love both their mother and father - whether is it reciprocated or not. Show them you trust them and love them - as often as you can. I am sorry you are at this stage - but I know it will get better. Read up on survivors stories here on Quora and elsewhere online and be inspired. Good luck”

I am tired of explaining that just because you “worked and put yourself through college” or “paid off your house in 10 years” doesn’t mean it’s even remotely similar to accomplish the same today. Wages have barely budged, despite the average employee today having the productivity of at least 3 employees in “your day,” the requirements to qualify for a job being irrational and way beyond the actual demands of most jobs, and the cost of homes and college being so out of this world that it is not possible to pay for either on a part-time job, or even full-time if you’re also living on your own and paying other bills.Old people, who complain about young people, tend to throw around stories of their own youth, when the cards weren’t stacked against them like young adults today. Working hard does NOT mean you will be promoted or given pay raises. Some people NEVER get pay raises anymore. Most companies do not promote from within either. You have to go find a job somewhere else in order to get higher (though not by much) wages. Many of us are already living on LESS than our parents did at the same age, when you consider the rise in cost of living. “9 to 5” is a farce today. Most people have to work at least 9 hours if they want to take a lunch break (for which they don’t get paid). Many are working overtime without pay and many are working multiple jobs just to survive. Starting your own business is harder than it ever was before. Most of that “regulation” only has an impact on small business. For instance, many businesses aren’t allowed to be run from your own home; you have to be able to afford a commercial location. Everything you own is taxed at a higher rate even if your business is making next to nothing. It’s not legal to just set up shop on the corner or in a park. “Saving” money in a bank account actually COSTS the account holder money. Inflation is too fast, and interest for people who aren’t already wealthy is dirt.You do occasionally hear success stories of someone who came up with an idea that actually was heard and they somehow managed to keep the credit for it. Those people are one out of at least 100,000. That does not mean it’s realistic for the rest of us to think we can do it too. I’m also sick of hearing from people who were born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple. Same goes for those who were fortunate, and their children managed to be successful with the extra help. If YOU were successful and your kid is now successful, you need to rethink the advantages they had. Just because they may have worked hard doesn’t mean they didn’t have a HUGE head start that may include things such as:Good nutrition because you could afford itMore parental involvement because both (or the only) parent(s) weren’t working two jobs and coming home late, half dead, every nightPreschoolAll necessary school suppliesA quality education somewhere safe and fully staffed, maybe even a tutorGood health careParent(s) who weren’t constantly under immense stress trying to make itBeing able to concentrate only on school and things they choose, instead of having to work from a young ageGetting to participate in extracurricular activities because you could afford the fees and they could always get transportation when neededGetting to take the “fun” classes because you could afford the materials which were required but not provided by the schoolGetting to stay in the same school district, having friends who stayed with them year after year, rather than moving around constantly as their parent(s) tried to find more affordable housing or better jobsParent(s) who could start a savings account (or much better financial options) for them from a young ageA car when they were old enough to driveSomeone to help them establish creditVacations, an opportunity to see more of the world and meet peopleHelp navigating and paying for college, books, and other needs while in school (most have to work full-time while going to school and still leave with massive debt)Given a home, co-sign, or help with a down payment to get a good rate on a home. The cost of housing today is outrageous and a large portion of “millenials” are adults who work full-time, yet still room with strangers, because they can’t pay for even a one bedroom apartment on their ownThe ability to go to the doctor when they were sick or injured because they had parent(s) who could helpA safety net if that first job when they were out on their own didn’t work out so wellA foot in the door because of people YOU knewAll that said, I’ve known people whose parents WERE successful but their kid couldn’t make it even though their parents could have helped them. It’s usually because their parents expected them to be “self-made” as well, and it never sunk in how much harder that is now than it used to be.

Though mine pales in comparison to these, it bothered me for years as a child. When I was 5 or 6, my mother told me that she'd never even one second of one day wanted children and regretted letting my father talk her into having us. If she'd had her way, they'd have gotten a puppy.My mother has never been a warm and caring parent. I genuinely feel like she doesn't like any of us very much. It wouldn't be so bad except she's the good parent of the two. My father, when she divorced him, broke into the house one night and tried to kill us all in our sleep by sabotaging the furnace and unplugging the CO detector. He went to prison and we were left with the parent that never wanted us.