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Oh, why not. I'll bite. I met my wife Zhang Fan (Fanfan) in Beijing in late 1996, shortly after I moved here to Beijing to settle. At the time we met we were both involved with other people. Her boyfriend of the time was a long-haired, heavily tattooed drummer named Wang Lan, who played for a band called Thin Man (think Jane's Addiction meets the Chili Peppers meets Rage Against the Machine). They often opened for the Metal band I was then playing in, Tang Dynasty. In February of 1997 Fanfan came along to a show both bands were playing in the nearby city of Tianjin and that's the first time I got a deep impression of her. I often saw her over the next few years. She was the queen bee of the Thin Man girlfriends and wives; it was clear they took fashion cues from her, she always had the funniest jokes and the quickest rejoinders, and the others clearly saw her as the alpha female.In June of 1999, in the month after the (accidental) bombing by the U.S. of the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade, life changed for me very dramatically: I left the band, started working as an editor at an Internet company, broke up with the Chinese singer I had been dating for a few years, and began dating a Chinese-American reporter for a major US paper. Until I started a new band in early 2001, Thin Man was the Beijing band I was closest to: I helped them out here and there with sponsorships and loans and what-not. The Thin Man guys and their significant others would often socialize with me and my then-girlfriend, who took a shine to Fanfan and often told me she regarded her as the most attractive and coolest local Chinese girl she knew. (I secretly concurred but had better sense than to say so at the time).After January 2001, when I co-founded a new band (Chunqiu), I saw the Thin Man guys, and thus Fanfan, much less frequently. I did run into her occasionally, but as she was still involved with Wang Lan and I was still together with my then-girlfriend, we were only very casually friendly. But in the fall of 2002, unbeknownst to the other, both Fanfan and I went through breakups. Some months passed. It was just after Christmas, and both of us were now single. I had had the requisite rebound fling with someone way too young for me. I had just decided I was ready to start dating seriously again and arranged to meet a woman I was possibly interested in at a bar, but she and her friends had already moved on to the next place, lucky for me.Fanfan just happened to be at the bar with her sister. We saw each other instantly, and she asked, "Where's [my ex-]?" I told her we broke up in October. I asked her where Wang Lan was, and she said they, too, had broken up. I couldn't suppress a grin. She asked, "So, are you going to introduce me to some nice guys?" I said, "Absolutely not. Oh, I do know one guy. Chinese-American, plays guitar, well-educated..."We spent much of the evening talking there, with Fanfan reminding me repeatedly that she'd sworn off long-haired rock musicians forever. But I persisted. She told me that she was only interested in someone who was a serious marriage prospect. I told her I was at that stage, too. She assented to a date (The Elephant, a Russian restaurant) and made me really work: She was chaste for many a date, and never even let me come further than the gate of her compound and refused to come into my place.I had dated a number of artsy Beijing women before (Fanfan graduated from the Beijing Film Academy and was from a family all in the performing arts), and one thing that always disappointed me was the slovenly way they tended to live at home: piles of clothes, dishes not done, melted candle wax all over the radiator, fashion magazines strewn all over, books bulging out of cheap wicker bookshelves, cigarette butts all over the place. So the first time Fanfan finally invited me in, I was completely blown away by how spotless and cleverly arranged her place was. This was a huge plus for me. The fact that our chemistry was terrific only sealed the deal.My parents loved her, and they get on famously. Actually my mom, who basically hated just about every woman I'd ever dated, was super cold to her the first time we all had lunch together and it freaked me out, but she summoned me later to the family homestead to sit me down and ask me what my intentions were with her. I told her that I was crazy about Fanfan and wondered why she practically ignored her and why it was that they couldn't see what I saw. My mom said, "Actually, we really like her. We just don't want to emotionally invest if she's just going to be another woman you just date for a year or two."To this day, neither of us can remember when we decided to get married. I never actually proposed. I think there was just this tacit agreement that if we slept together and things clicked well chemically (that wasn't in doubt; I think one knows these things without actually sleeping together) we were just going to get married. Both of us were eager to have children, there were no insurmountable ideological or philosophical differences, and we were mad for each other, so it just seemed unnecessary to formalize it. One night in June 2003, less than six months after we'd started dating, we got together with both sets of parents, and told them together that we wanted to get married that fall. They got out calendars and started picking a date.We got married at the Dongbianmen watchtower of the old Beijing city wall, in front of what's now the Red Gate Gallery, on October 12, 2003. We had about 160 people in attendance, and my own band, Chunqiu, actually played at the reception which was kind of odd!No marriage is perfect of course: I can't express myself at nearly 100% in Chinese, so there are communication problems and cultural differences that need to be ironed out from time to time. We don't always see eye to eye on issues involving raising our children. But I'm very even-tempered by nature, and while she can flare up quickly, she's generally good at conflict resolution, and never allows resentment to pool, so on balance we get along marvelously. I certainly couldn't manage without her, for the support she give me in my career, and all her help navigating the often tortuous psychology of dealing with Chinese people who can think circles around guileless Chinese-Americans like me. The children (Guenevere and Johnny, who turn 8 and 6 this coming spring) are a constant source of pure joy and pride. So far, so good!

It appears to be. And if anyone of any skin color speaks out against anti-white racism, they risk harassment and loss of employment.Actors and producers warn of 'reverse racism' in the film industryHollywood's identity crisis: Actors, writers and producers warn of 'reverse racism' in the film industry which has created a 'toxic' climate for anyone who is a white, middle-age manAs the wooden boards are taken down from shopfronts and studio lots grind slowly back to life, Hollywood is basking in an unseasonable heatwave.The famous boulevards shimmer in 40C haze and warm Santa Ana winds fan the Beverly Hills mansions.Shaken by #MeToo, paralysed by Covid-19, the $50 billion film industry is finally emerging from a four-month lockdown – only to find a new and very different world, where tension is rising as surely as the thermometer.For if the very public Black Lives Matter protests have polarised America, the silent fallout has now reached Hollywood.A revolution is under way. White actors are being fired. Edicts from studio bosses make it clear that only minorities – racial and sexual – can be given jobs.A new wave of what has been termed by some as anti-white prejudice is causing writers, directors and producers to fear they will never work again. One described the current atmosphere as 'more toxic than Chernobyl', with leading actors afraid to speak out amid concern they will be labelled racist.The first sign came with one of the most powerful black directors in Hollywood, Oscar-winning Jordan Peele – the man behind box office hits such as Get Out and Us – stated in public that he did not want to hire a leading man who was white.'I don't see myself casting a white dude as the lead in my movie,' Peele said. 'Not that I don't like white dudes. But I've seen that movie before.'As one studio executive responded privately: 'If a white director said that about hiring a black actor, their career would be over in a heartbeat.' Few doubt it.Peele is more vocal than most about his hiring policy, but his outlook is increasingly widespread. Dozens of producers, writers and actors have spoken to The Mail on Sunday about the wave of 'reverse racism' pulsing through the industry.speaking on condition of anonymity, the executive confirmed that the climate is now toxic for any 'white, middle-aged man in showbusiness'. Their careers, 'are pretty much over'.They continued: 'We're only hiring people of colour, women or LGBT to write, star, produce, operate the cameras, work in craft services. If you are white, you can't speak out because you will instantly be branded 'racist' or condemned for 'white privilege'.'The pendulum has swung so far, everyone is paralysed with fear by the idea anything you say could be misinterpreted and your career ended instantly. There are a lot of hushed conversations going on, but publicly everyone is desperate to be seen to be promoting diversity and too terrified to speak out. It's imploding: a total meltdown.'The failure to nominate actors of colour for the Oscars has been seen as a stain on Hollywood in recent years. But there are fears that the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction – and that the movie and TV industries are 'on the edge of a collective nervous breakdown'.The latest buzzword in Tinseltown is 'Bipoc' – an acronym for Black, Indigenous and People of Colour – and 'Menemy', which means a white, male enemy of the diversity movement. 'Everyone wants to be able to check all the boxes for each new hire,' according to one Oscar-nominated insider.'Directors normally have a say about who is in their project. Not any more. It's all about 'Bipoc hiring'. And it's coming directly from the heads of the studios who know their jobs are on the line. White middle-aged men are collateral damage. They are the Menemy.'An actor in his 50s who has worked on some of the biggest shows of the past 20 years described how, during a recent audition, the casting director told him he was 'perfect for the part' but that they had been instructed to hire 'a person of colour' for the role. 'I get it, I really do,' the actor said.'I understand Hollywood still has a long way to go before people of colour are properly represented on screen but how am I supposed to pay my mortgage, put food on the table? Everyone is terrified. And you can't say anything because then you set yourself up for public crucifixion.'Dismissing such complaints, however quietly expressed, Selma director Ava DuVernay, now one of the most powerful black women in Hollywood, wrote on Twitter: 'Everyone has a right to their opinion. And we – black producers with hiring power – have the right not to hire those who diminish us.'So, to the white men in this thread… if you don't get that job you were up for, kindly remember… bias can go both ways. This is 2020 speaking.'It might seem an irony, then, that Hollywood has long been seen as the heart of liberal America. Leading figures from the industry have a reputation for lecturing the world on issues of human rights, diversity and the environment, from George Clooney's campaign to end the genocide in Darfur to Leonardo DiCaprio's missives on global warming.But 'wokeness' is not only increasingly pervasive, it seems impossible to navigate. Killing Eve's Jodie Comer – celebrated for playing a bisexual assassin – last week faced intense criticism on social media for dating US sportsman James Burke, said to be a card-carrying Trump supporter, solely on the basis that he supported the President.And Halle Berry had to apologise for 'considering' taking on the role of a transgender man in a forthcoming film project (instead of leaving it to a real transgender man).Such is the culture shift that one studio is now preparing to shoot a film with an all-black cast and crew – a project which should normally give cause for celebration.But when a white woman, a highly respected executive, was tasked to 'oversee' the production on location, she was told she would receive no on-screen credit. A source from the studio behind the project said: 'The kids making the film are fresh, great new talent. But they are kids. None of them are over 25. Most of them have never been on a movie set, let alone a movie which costs $20 million. They don't know the basics about how union rules work, about taking regular breaks or how long you can shoot in a day.We need to protect our investment and make sure they get up on time and shoot what they need. Otherwise, we could have a multi-million- dollar train out of control.'We're sending this woman, who is brilliant, to run things on the ground. But she won't get any title credit. People won't admit it, they can't admit it, but reverse racism is definitely going on. You could argue that it's a good thing, that this swinging of the pendulum so far the other way is only fair after years of white privilege. But at what cost? Surely it is best for everyone if people are hired on the basis of talent and ability? I can tell you, we are hiring people based purely on their ethnicity, gender and social-media profiles.'If you are brown and female and gay then come on in. We're all getting diversity training. We're walking on eggshells during every Zoom meeting. It's got to the point where, if there's a person of colour in the meeting, we can't hang up before they do, for fear of it being considered offensive.'One film editor who did dare to speak out has seen his career all but destroyed. Nathan Lee Bush, who has shot commercials for corporations such as Budweiser and Nike, criticised a post on a private Facebook group which read: 'I NEED AN EDITOR! Looking for Black Union Editors.'Bush, who is white, described the advert as 'anti-white racism' and wrote: 'Look what we're asked to tolerate. The people openly and proudly practising racism are the ones calling everyone racist to shut them down, and anyone who dares to speak up is cancelled, their livelihood and dreams stripped from them by a baying mob.'But voicing his concerns proved disastrous. One of Bush's main clients, the US restaurant chain Panera Bread, vowed never to work with him again and Bush has since been forced to apologise.'I was literally just playing a video game when I casually wrote those words,' he said later.'All I was trying to say is: 'Is the antidote to past discrimination based on skin colour more retributive discrimination based on skin colour?' I should have, however, realised this was not the time to bring it up. To anyone I offended, I'm very sorry.'It has taken several tumultuous years for this perfect storm to gather. It began with the scandal over Harvey Weinstein and the #MeToo movement. Now, as one insider puts it, the industry faces a 'tsunami which has turned everything upside down'. Some will say the change is overdue as, for all the warm words, Hollywood remains a privileged enclave.Just five years ago, lack of diversity at the annual Academy Awards ceremony spawned the hashtag #OscarsSoWhite.While last year's box office hits – films such as Black Panther, Get Out and Crazy Rich Asians – were a huge success, their casts, predominantly black and Asian, were not represented in the major acting awards. This year's winners – Brad Pitt, Joaquin Phoenix, Renee Zellweger and Laura Dern – were all white.Then came Black Lives Matter spawned in the wake of protests over the killing of George Floyd in May after a Minneapolis police officer knelt on his neck for nearly nine minutes.Demonstrations were held across America, the Confederate flag was burned and 'racist' statues toppled – while along the Hollywood Walk of Fame, protesters mingled with the (predominantly white) stars immortalised on the sidewalks.Studios including Disney, Warner Bros, CBS and Netflix have shared messages of support for the BLM movement, and have vowed to spend millions to promote diversity and inclusion. New York Times writer Reggie Ugwu said: 'The industry is in the clutches of an extremely public identity crisis in which the fresh, multicultural image it aspires to is undermined by the observable evidence.'But while the intentions are undoubtedly good, many fear it will have the opposite effect. One Emmy Award-nominated white writer said: 'I've never known people so fearful. Houses are being put up for sale. People are moving out because even when things get back to normal after the pandemic there's going to be no work.''It's about fairness,' another writer said. 'I've spent the past three years mentoring young, black writers. But now I'm out of a job and it's nothing to do with my abilities as a writer. People think of Hollywood as a place where dreams come true but for people like me, it's turned into a nightmare.'Do you believe in thought crime? In picking people off, one by one, till everybody agrees with just a single point of view? Each week, we see this world come a little closer.Many of the victims are famous. But people who are not remotely well known are writing to me every week to say that they, too, now fear for their livelihoods.Still more are keeping their heads down, fearing what will happen if they dare to speak out against the dogmas of the time and the new totalitarians who promote them.There's been a steadily rising tide of conformity in recent years. Increasingly, we have been told what we are allowed to say, hear, see and know.Swarming over the internet, the Left-wing mob is waging a campaign to silence dissenting voices and get free-thinking people removed from their jobs. And they have succeeded. Now the wokerati want to enter the bedroom and say who we may sleep with, too.Take last week's attempt to 'cancel' the Killing Eve actress Jodie Comer. Her crime? Nothing she has said or thought.Instead, the online trolls had been enraged to discovered who she is dating. The supposed culprit is an American lacrosse player called James Burke.His crime? Mr Burke is alleged to be a registered Republican and a Donald Trump supporter. Cue an internet meltdown and a demand by activists that Comer be prevented from working again.It's ludicrous. How can anyone demand that we restrict ourselves to partners who are in 100 per cent ideological alignment with the views of a Left-wing sect?The bullying of inoffensive Jodie Comer might be a new low, but I've seen it coming for some time.Two years ago, a 26-year-old racing driver called Conor Daly lost his sponsors because of something said in the 1980s. Daly competes in the full-blooded series run by Nascar – the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing – which is much-loved in the southern USA.Yet consider this: Daly was not alive at the time of the alleged offence. How had he mis-spoken before he'd even been born?The answer is he hadn't. Daly lost his sponsorship because his racing driver father was alleged to have made a racial slur three decades earlier. And there was no reprieve.This totalitarian instinct has crept up on us with amazing ease. It is the product of a vindictive Leftism which used only to reside on certain US university campuses.Yet today, boosted hugely by the internet, this half-baked ideology, tribal and dogmatic, obsessed with the language of racial, sexual and gender politics, is running riot.All decent attitudes, not least the British idea of fair play, have been driven out. It is perfectly normal to have a point of view and argue it. It is perfectly fine to dislike and even disdain some ideas. Who doesn't?But no one has the right to get people fired or made unemployable because of views that differ from their own, let alone because of their partner's views.That is neither democratic nor acceptable. It is fascism. Red fascism, but fascism all the same.It is important we face up to this. Extremism can occur on all political sides. Every political and religious movement can become a focus for bitter people and radical malcontents. But in our age, the bullying totalitarians come from an ever-more assertive political Left.Take last week's letter to Harper's magazine, signed by 153 artists, writers, and scholars. The letter called for an end to 'cancel culture' which sees online mobs trying to intimidate and 'de-platform' people simply because of their views.As it happens, the letter was Left-leaning, including the compulsory attack on President Trump. The signatories, likewise, were almost all from the Left, suggesting little interest in 'reaching across the aisle'. But the sentiments were hard to disagree with – or so you might have thought.The luminaries named at the bottom of the letter were picked off one by one. Did they know they were signing their name alongside the appalling 'transphobe' J. K. Rowling? Did they know a solitary conservative, George W Bush's former speechwriter, David Frum, had signed the letter? Soon enough, some signatories were apologising for signing in the first place.At a certain stage of growing up, most of us come to understand that worldwide agreement with our own set of personally held views is not achievable, even if it were desirable. Which it isn't.Today, however, we are dealing with an army of overgrown babies who never did make that realisation. They never did learn that the world is diverse in its opinions.At university, they were told something positively dangerous: that people who disagree with them are not merely wrong, not merely ignorant, they are ill-informed bigots. And that, in order to achieve justice, these people must be cleared out of the way.The world these activists are creating is vengeful and vicious, and increasingly dull.Last week, a clip from a recent BBC comedy show, The Mash Report, was posted online. Even for those of us who long ago gave up bothering trying to find anything funny on the BBC, it was jaw-droppingly awful.It included a segment of two unfunny comedians agreeing with each other in an unfunny manner.At one stage the female comedian declared 'free speech is now basically a way adult people can say racist stuff without any consequences'. There was no hint of irony.Wrong-headed certainty like this is ruining comedy like much else, as Ricky Gervais said just a few days ago. Who would dare to make a dangerous joke today? Much safer to make political sermons on the BBC under the guise of 'humour'.Some people – especially if they are white and male – think the best way to get through this madness is to shut their eyes and swear allegiance to the big lies and presumptions of the time. They have seen how the mob comes for anyone who says something controversial.Today, charities, public sector bodies and whole corporations are increasingly filled with people who have been told what to say and what to believe. Some have been told by their bosses what books they should read – a sinister development.Last month I received a leaked letter sent out by an NHS boss in Birmingham. She had told those working under her to read four books on 'white privilege' so they could 'correct' their attitudes.This is wrong, and people should stand against it while we have the chance. The woke warriors might like it were we to live in a dictatorship run by them. But we don't – not yet, at any rate.We live in a democracy. One in which people have the right to voice their opinions and still have the right to date free-minded individuals who disagree with the mob.The bullies want to stop the rest of us talking or thinking. It's time the rest of us answered back.