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I guess most of us have heard about this story.1994, In a friendly match against Oxford, Harry Redknaap West Ham's assistant coach pulled a abusive fan Steve Davis to play as a substitute in second half and a dream came true for him as he scored in that match.Here is the full storyThe day Harry Redknapp brought a fan on to play for West HamAccording to one of football's most endearing fairy tales, Harry Redknapp once pulled an abusive fan from the crowd and put him on the field for West Ham. This allegedly happened in 1994, but no video and scant evidence of the incident exist. Jeff Maysh chased this mystery for over a decade before finally catching up with the fan in questionHarry Redknapp chats to Steve Davies in the crowd at Oxford in 1994, before sending him on as a substitute. Photograph: Steve Bacon• Originally published in Howler MagazineEver since he was five years old, Steve Davies dreamed of playing forWest Ham United. He grew up in the rain-thrashed English working-class town of Rushden, where by birthright he should have supported Rushden Town, or Northampton, or even Coventry City. But after watching West Ham triumph over Fulham in the 1975 FA Cup final, he became a long-distance fan, pledging his allegiance to the claret and blue of the Hammers."The other kids at school said I should support a local team. But I just knew I was West Ham. I can't explain it really," says Steve as I hand him a pint of beer and we begin the interview. "I wore the shirt with pride and would travel to see the games as often as I could." (A 182-mile round trip.) Young Steve devoured football magazines and decorated his bedroom walls with photographs of West Ham players.West Ham's Trevor Brooking. Photograph: Allsport"Trevor Brooking was my hero. I had hundreds of photos of Brooking," says Steve of the West Ham legend who played 528 times for the Hammers and scored 88 goals, including a boy's day-dream of a diving header to steal the FA Cup from Arsenal in 1980. Four months after that, a teenage Steve Davies sneaked on to a train to London to watch Brooking and West Ham United play Watford at Upton Park and was thrilled when the ball flew toward him as he stood in the North Bank. "Amazingly, I caught it," he recalls. "Next thing, Trevor Brooking runs over and signals for me to throw it back."But Steve couldn't let go. As Trevor came ever closer, he clutched the ball. "I remember being that close to my hero. 'Come and get it!' I said." To Steve's delight, he did. Steve gave back the ball and play resumed. "It was a memory that stayed with me for ages," says Steve. "It was all terraces back then, and when a player would take a corner, I could lean over and almost touch him. Almost." West Ham won 3–2, Brooking scored, and Steve had a story to tell his dad after making the long journey back to Rushden.Steve's father, a Welshman named Geoff Davies, was a broad-shouldered Sunday-league defender, and when young Steve came of age, he too began playing in the waterlogged Sunday leagues of the Midlands. "Dad played well into his forties," says Steve proudly. Steve turned out for Fishermead, a strong pub team in Milton Keynes. "Every lad dreamed of playing for their favorite team, and every time I ran on to the pitch I wished I was playing for West Ham United." His boyhood idols were all strong defenders like his old man. "As a teenager, I pretended I was Billy Bonds when I played. I used to admire good defenders, like Ray Stewart. He was Scottish, and the best penalty taker – top corner every time – you wouldn't pick one out. I also tried to model myself on Kenny Sansom, but I was never really good enough, if I'm honest."Like almost all young men who dream of becoming professional sportsmen, Steve's limitations were slowly revealed to him on those frosty fields, and he became distracted by other things, notably West Ham United. "I started going to West Ham proper when I was 15, hence the accent," he says, explaining why he speaks like an East End barrow boy. "I was down there every week, even going to away games. They were great days." But Britain was suffering civil unrest, and the fall of its unions, violent miners' strikes, and mass unemployment made the 1980s a decade of strife that created a microcosm of the football terraces: young men were angry, just because, and hooliganism was born.When Persil printed vouchers on the sides of their soapboxes for discounted train tickets, it made travelling support feasible for an entire generation of youngsters. "Mum bought the Persil, I cut the coupons out, and I was off," he says, and the 80s whizzed past in a blur of industrial chimneys and foreboding clouds out of train windows.Steve had crossed into an exciting new world that smelled of detergent, warm lager, and railway carriages, and he grew from boy to man standing on the terraces in faraway towns. "I'd get stuck in places like Sheffield and couldn't get home, sleeping in empty stations. Fucking hell! But it was brilliant, and West Ham had great away support. We became notorious for it."As he drifted into his twenties, Steve's desire to play professional football all but evaporated. "I still played on Sundays sometimes when I wasn't away with West Ham, more so I could have a drink dinner-time," he says. "You know, turn up, have a pint — that sort of thing." His preferred habitat shifted from the chilly fields of Sunday-league football to the smoke-filled pubs of East London. Inside the Black Lion or the Boleyn Tavern, you could find Steve on any given Saturday, pint aloft, singing that popular waltz from 1918, famously adopted by West Ham fans:I'm forever blowing bubblesPretty bubbles in the airThey fly so highNearly reach the skyThen like my dreamsThey fade and die.'Football was changing, wasn't it?'West Ham United finished Division One runners-up in 1992–93, securing promotion to the top-flight. It was only the second year since the First Division had been remodelled into the fancy Premier League with its loads of cash and players in shampoo commercials. English teams were beginning to attract foreign players with exotic names who performed colourful Italian hand gestures at referees. West Ham signed a Portuguese striker and male model, prompting then–assistant managerHarry Redknapp to quip, "Dani is so good-looking I don't know whether to play him or fuck him."Steve now rarely daydreamed about playing for West Ham. In 1990, he had his first child, Chloe, and in 1993, a boy named Samuel Brooking, named after his West Ham hero, Trevor. To support his new family he became a same-day courier, driving night and day, delivering packages for companies. Finally, he could put to good use the knowledge of British geography he had acquired following the Irons cross-country."I remember one package in particular I picked up at a graphic designer's place in Milton Keynes. I had to take it to Cambridge to be proofed, then they sent me to Bristol. Got to Bristol at half eleven at night, and they says to me, 'You gots to take this to Manchester … and it's got to be there for nine am.' I couldn't believe it. Turns out I was delivering the architectural plans for Manchester City's ground, for their new Kippax stand."After the Hillsborough disaster in 1989 that killed 96 fans, many English stadiums were rebuilt, giving the league a facelift. "This was the 90s," recalls Steve. "Everyone was getting new stadiums and all sorts. Football was changing, wasn't it?"With promotion came a claret-and-blue executive team bus with tinted windows and mini-fridges that would deliver West Ham to play the giants of English football: Manchester United, Arsenal, and Liverpool. In their first season in the Premiership, West Ham finished 13th.'Chunk called me up one day and said, "We got a pre-season game over at Oxford – fancy it?'Steve's best friend was Chunk, and Chunk was also a die-hard West Ham fan. Chunk's real name was Steve, but the nickname was endearing. "He's not fat or nothing," explains Steve Davies. "He's he's just too big to run."Steve and Chunk would travel home and away to watch their team, often driving the length of the country. Chunk was from nearby Hemel Hempstead and drove a gold Vauxhall Cavalier Sri, the type of car favoured by substitute teachers and people with gambling debts."He's a true mate," says Steve. "My first wife was called Kelly, and Chunk's missus was also called Kelly, and they got pregnant at exactly the same time." The Steves and their Kellys once drove 230 miles to Torquay to watch West Ham play when the Kellys were five months pregnant. "Every five miles we had to stop for them to be sick at the side of the road," Steve says. "We nearly missed the kick-off."Chunk called me up one day and said, 'We got a pre-season game over at Oxford – fancy it?'" remembers Steve, who never said no to West Ham. "We liked to get a couple of games in early. We get withdrawal symptoms when the season finishes in May. I very rarely missed a game, and I fancied a little away trip to Oxford anyways." Steve's mate Bazza was also in Chunk's Cavalier as it idled outside Steve's house.A view of the Oxford City FC gates inside Court Place Farm Stadium. Photograph: Richard Heathcote/The FA via Getty ImagesCourt Place Farm sits amid the bleak fields of Oxfordshire, a patchwork quilt of icy horticultural land wrapped in the concrete ribbons of motorway that stretch 60 miles east to London and 148 miles west to Wales. There lies the picture-postcard city of Oxford, famous for its historic university and church steeples that inspired a mid-18th-century poet to christen it the "city of dreaming spires."Oxford City Football Club plays in the shadow of local rival Oxford United, who are two leagues above them, and both teams are still worlds away from the neon-coloured cleats and mega-screen televisions of the Premier League. The school-teacher who serves scalding-hot tea at half-time for Oxford argues that this is "real football," played by real men who don't use conditioner and work second jobs. Along the edge of the muddy field, the pitch is outlined with daisies. And while it may not host the pyrotechnics and prima donnas of the Premier League, Oxford City has enjoyed some of football's most remarkable dramas.In his book, Soccer's Strangest Matches, Andrew Ward chronicled "The Endless Cup Tie" of November 1971, in which Oxford City and Alvechurch played a qualifying-round FA Cup tie over six games and 660 minutes before Alvechurch player Bobby Hope's 588th-minute headed goal finally divided the teams, and champagne flowed … in both dressing rooms. "It became an endurance test," wrote Ward. "Alvechurch midfielder Derek Davies, a car-worker on nights, had to be rested from the fourth game … and a few minutes after the fifth game, an elderly Alvechurch supporter collapsed and tragically died."Framed memorabilia of Oxford City's record FA Cup tie against Alvechurch. Photograph: Richard Heathcote - The Fa/The FA via Getty ImagesYet on this summer night in 1994, an even stranger fixture was about to occur. Russell Smith, sports editor at the Oxford Mail, recalls that the town was excited for the return of Joey Beauchamp, the young Oxford United winger who had just transferred to West Ham for a fee of £1.2m, a lad surely destined for stardom with the Irons. Beauchamp's new team-mates consisted of tough international players like Ludek Miklosko, Alvin Martin, American defender Steve Potts, and a crew of everyman sloggers keen to hack those snazzy foreigners in the Premiership for fun.'That's why the top clubs were all after me'It is 1 March 2013. the 17.17 race at Monmore Green. Ballymac Clara explodes out of trap six like a dog possessed. By the first turn she is already placed second as the rest of the pack instinctively chases the electric hare zipping around the track. Bred from a champion stud, Ballymac is a young white bitch with distinctive black markings, and she thunders around the outside, ears pinned back, eyes bulging. This is her first major race, and expectations are high. On the final bend, she is ahead and romps home by an astonishing six and a quarter lengths, running 480 feet in just under 29 seconds."Get in!" Joey Beauchamp, 42, entreats a television in a deserted Oxford betting shop as the handsome dog crosses the finish line. "It was only a small bet, but she won easy," he says with delight. "I had 40 quid on her." Beauchamp is no longer the lithe 23-year-old in the photographs he proudly keeps on his BlackBerry. There, on the tiny screen, he wears the claret and blue of West Ham and is volleying a ball goal-bound. The photograph is from the Oxford City match of 27 July 1994."Darren Anderton went to Tottenham for a million pounds the same time as I went to West Ham," Beauchamp says as he steps out into the street, clutching his winnings. "We were similar players. There was no real left-footed wingers in England before Beckham; I was at the top of my game. That's why the top clubs were all after me." His breath, visible in the cold air, disappears high into the night sky. "We honestly thought we had a serious talent on our hands in Joey," recalls Mark Edwards, chief sports reporter at The Oxford Times. "The Oxford manager at the time said, 'Joey could play for England.' At the top of his game, no player could live with him on the left wing, he was that fast."Joey Beauchamp, playing for West Ham in another 1994 pre-season friendly, this time against St Albans. Photograph: Bob Thomas/Getty ImagesJoey Beauchamp, the million-pound boy wonder, made his West Ham debut in front of a crowd of local admirers, friends, and family at Oxford City's ground. "But unfortunately," he says, "everyone remembers the game for a completely different reason …"'I asked him, what size boots are you, son?'Chunk, Bazza, Steve, and Steve's wife were sitting by a fence with the travelling West Ham fans when Redknapp emerged from the dressing room and greeted them. "Harry being Harry, he talks to people," says Steve. "He said hello and all that. A few fans exchanged pleasantries. But there's no airs and graces with Harry."The first half kicked off like almost every other of the hundreds of West Ham games Steve had watched in his life, over the thousands of miles he'd travelled as a disciple of West Ham United. "Lee Chapman was up front for us, on the edge of the area, and he went up against a little guy from Oxford," recalls Steve. "Lee towered over him, but came down on his arse!" Steve was enraged. "Come on, you donkey, Chapman, you're useless!" he shouted at the striker. "Get up!""If you're watching your team and someone does something really daft, you won't leave them alone for a couple of minutes," explains Steve. "I think Chapman lost the ball again, he got tackled and got a cut on his shin. He went down, and I was shouting, 'Come on! Get up, you donkey!'" Chapman was being hit hard by Oxford's defenders. "He kept getting whacked, and I gave him crap for that," Steve says.Then-West Ham United forward Lee Chapman. Photograph: Ben Radford/Getty ImagesHarry Redknapp delights in telling this particular yarn. Last time he told the story it was on TV show A League of Their Own, at Christmas last year. "There's a guy next to the dug-out," Harry told the host, "and he's got West Ham tattooed all over his arms and neck, he's got the earrings … After two minutes, he started on me." Today, speaking to me in his third one-on-one interview since taking over as QPR boss, he slips into storytelling mode."'We ain't got that Lee Chapman up front do we – I ain't coming every week if he's playing,'" says Harry, doing his impression of Steve. "Half-time I made five substitutions, and we only had the bare 11 out – I was running out of players. Then we got another injury, so I said to this guy in the crowd, 'Oi, can you play as good as you talk?'"The rest of the tale is hallowed football folklore. "I slung a leg over the barrier and Harry walked me down the tunnel," says Steve. "What's your name, son?" Harry asked, sizing up this apparent hooligan. "I couldn't believe it. Inside the dressing room, the players were sat down resting at half-time." West Ham were two-nil up, but the team was carrying injuries. "Then Harry and says, 'Lee you're off; Steve you're on.'"Chapman, shirtless, just nodded. "I asked him, what size boots are you, son?" Redknapp recalls. The kit manager brought Steve a uniform."Alvin Martin was sat next to me, and as we stood up, he smacked me on the back of the head, like a little livener. We come on up the tunnel and I still thought Harry was having a laugh with me. I didn't think I was actually gonna get on, or I thought I might get a minute or two as a joke." The crowd broke into applause as the teams appeared once again.The second half kicked off with a shrill whistle. "I didn't come out of Oxford's half," laughs Steve. "I was playing up front with Trevor Morley, goal-hanging! It was fucking quick football. This was a step up from Sunday league, to say the least. Oxford play Saturday football – I played Sunday football, pub football."I got a few touches, including a pass from Alvin Martin; I remember he called out my name in his Scouse accent. I was blown away. 'Stevie!' he shouted, and he sent the ball pinging to my feet. It had such pace on it, nearly knocked me over."Steve says he was out of his depth, trying to keep up with international players and fighting the urge to steal a glance over to the stands where his wife, Bazza, and Chunk were watching in disbelief. "I didn't get any shots on target because I was never alone. This wasn't like park football. Defenders didn't leave you alone."Redknapp issues instructions to Davies. Photograph: Steve BaconWhen the stadium announcer saw Steve take to the field, he sent an assistant down to get the name of this new signing so he could announce it to the crowd. "I asked the guy, you been watching the World Cup?" Redknapp tells me. "The great Bulgarian Tittyshev?""It didn't feel natural at all – that's what people always ask," says Steve. "I was just trying to stay calm. After the first five minutes, my legs were shaking; I was playing for West Ham! After that it was just 'get on with the game' kind of thing. I was running on adrenaline, and I was more worried about fucking up. I played a safe game, made a couple of passes hooking up with the centre-half, Martin" – who, Steve says, was "solid as a rock" — "and Beauchamp. He was hot property at the time." In fact, Beauchamp scored a cracking goal in the 65th minute, a top-corner screamer, which was ruled offside."Suddenly, we were on the attack," recalls Steve. "The ball went out wide – I'm sure it was Matty Holmes on the wing – and we pushed forward. I had two defenders in front of me and I was just sprinting forward, I think." He didn't purposely split the defenders, but neither was marking him tightly, and Steve flew forward, fast out of the traps. He picked up the ball from Holmes, and a clumsy first touch took him and the ball into the penalty area. Suddenly, thousands of eyes fell upon him as he escaped the pack. He was, for a moment, an image from a poster on the wall of his childhood bedroom.The legend of Steve Davies, the courier from Milton KeynesIn the history of professional football, no fan had ever come from the stands and played for their team. That's not to say fans have never influenced a sporting result. Jeffrey Maier was a 12-year-old American baseball fan who became famous when he deflected a batted ball in play into the Yankee Stadium stands during Game 1 of the 1996 American League Championship Series, between New York and the Orioles.There's footage of Fernanda Maia, a quick-thinking Brazilian ball-girl, setting up a goal with a deft pass to a Botafogo player in the Campeonato Carioca final between Botafogo and Vasco da Gama. The closest story to that of Steve Davies's is that of music fan Scot Halpin, who became a rock 'n' roll legend when he attended The Who's sold-out show at San Francisco's Cow Palace in November 1973. The 19-year-old rock fan, then living in Monterey, California, bought a pair of scalped tickets for the show. When drummer Keith Moon collapsed for a second time due to drink and drugs, Halpin was invited to the stage and filled in for an entire set, drumming with his heroes.But what happened that night at Court Place Farm in the 71st minute was even more remarkable. It made a legend of Steve Davies, the courier from Milton Keynes.Sadly, Steve's magical moment occurred before camera phones and YouTube. Almost every West Ham fan can tell you his story, yet there exists little evidence of what exactly happened: in the dusty archives of the Oxford Mail, the brown envelope that should hold the match reports from 1994 is empty.I first tried to find the truth 10 years ago. I wrote letters to some 200 people named Steven Davies in East London and placed an ad in a West Ham fanzine that read: "Are you Harry's fan?" No one replied.Eventually, I found documentation of the game in London, hidden in the bowels of the British Library on microfilm that one must request access to a week in advance. There, you can trawl through ancient issues of British tabloid newspapers. Turn a lever and English news of the 1990s plays out like a primitive phenakistoscope of tabloid scandal and kiss-and-tells. Thatcher grimaces; topless models, with hair in perms and lips painted red, flash their wares. I also contacted Steve Bacon, West Ham's loyal photographer, who had to hunt through years of negatives to find Steve's moment.Steve Davies during the second half. Photograph: Steve BaconSteve Davies finally came forward when a house fire destroyed his precious memorabilia in 2011. Searching an Oxford City online forum for evidence of that day, he found my appeal, from many years before, for him to speak about the game. Three months later, in freezing March, I flew from Los Angeles, where I live and work, to Oxford.On an icy field, Steve nervously re-creates what happened. He takes me to the corner of the field where he watched the first half of the game, and where Harry called him out. Steve was the loudest voice in the crowd, the only supporter passionate enough to be noticed in the stands at a pre-season game. And then he talks me through what happened in the 71st minute.Half an hour previously, he had been sucking on a cigarette in the away supporters' end, swigging from a bottle, and considering a third beer. Now he's taken the pass in stride and is in front of goal; City's veteran keeper Colin Fleet is bearing down on him, palms out, head down. The summer sun has dropped low beneath the bare trees on the horizon, painting the entire scene gold and casting long shadows."I just hit it," he says with a shrug. "I hit it like nothing else. Know what I mean? I belted it." The ball whistled low, past the outstretched hand of the Oxford goalkeeper, and ran into the bottom corner of the goal. Steve says he wheeled away in celebration, arms extended, head bent with disbelief. On the side of the field, Redknapp turned around and looked briefly to the heavens."It was like time stopped still – it was the greatest moment of my life," says Steve. Somewhere in the crowd, Bazza and Chunk were losing their minds. Steve Davies had scored on his West Ham debut."After that, I was exhausted. I was on 30 cigarettes a day back then," Steve admits. "I wouldn't condone it. I had a couple of cigs and a couple of beers in the first half, didn't I?" He admits his goal was not spectacular: "I'm not gonna butter myself up, but they all count." And when the full-time whistle blew, West Ham had won 4–0. Steve walked down the tunnel with the rest of his team-mates, jubilant.Then, as suddenly as it began, the dream was over. The kit manager wouldn't let Steve keep his No3 shirt – they'd need it against Newcastle the next week in the Premier League. And 25 minutes later, Steve was back in the Cavalier with Chunk, Bazza, and his missus, stuck in traffic on the road back to reality.An allegory for hopeIn the Magdalen Arms, Oxford, the waiter drops two plates of battered haddock in front of me and Steve. "What's this?" Steve says, prodding the massive fish. "A whale?" It's nearly 20 years since that game, and the former West Ham striker still has his head shaved. He has been divorced and remarried. His new wife, Tammy, says that to strangers, Steve can look "psychotic," which his friends find funny. He has a dry wit and disarming sense of humour. After modestly recounting his brief but spectacular playing career, he asks me: "After all this time, why did you keep chasing this story?" He lights a cigarette. I explain that his story is an allegory for hope.That game against Oxford City happened to be the last time Beauchamp ever played for West Ham. Citing "homesickness," he left the club after just 56 days. The Hammers had paid more than £1m, and in one of his only appearances, he had been outplayed by a £300-a-week courier from the crowd. Beauchamp was transferred to Oxford United's rivals, Swindon, infuriating his home team's fans, before he was transferred back to Oxford. He would play 238 more games for his local team before his career fizzled out.Joey Beauchamp, back playing with Oxford United in 1998. Photograph: Clive Mason/AllsportIn 2010, he told the Oxford Mailthat he had never wanted to join West Ham in the first place: "Oxford United told me that if I didn't join West Ham, then Oxford would be over; they had no money. What was I supposed to do? I could never have lived with myself if I refused to join West Ham and then Oxford did go under."Was the real reason Joey Beauchamp ended up playing for his hated rival, Swindon, a secret plot to save the club he dreamed of playing for as a child? If it was, the fans haven't yet realised it: "I still get abused by Oxford fans to this day about playing for Swindon," he told the Oxford Mail soon after being arrested for drunk driving. But Beauchamp fought back and this year took his first real job after attending a seminar for unemployed former soccer players: he works in a betting shop. "I'm playing football tomorrow, actually," he tells me. "I'm turning out for a local pub team called Northway. I've got 36 goals this season. I'm their top scorer!"What happened nextThe week after Harry Redknapp took the audacious step of putting a West Ham fan on the field, the club promoted him from assistant manager to manager. It is not known if the two events were related. By 1999, he had pushed West Ham to their second-highest finish: fifth place in the Premiership, qualifying to play in Europe. Spells at Southampton and Portsmouth followed, and he took the latter to their first FA Cup final in 69 years in May 2008. Portsmouth won 1-0. He led Tottenham Hotspur to the Champions League, becoming Premier League Manager of the Year. Last season, he was manager of the doomed Queen's Park Rangers, whom he could not save from relegation.Harry Redknapp managing West Ham in 1999. Photograph: Phil Cole/AllsportSpeaking from his Range Rover, at the end of a stressful season, Redknapp is driving toward his vacation spot on the English coast. "I was hoping he could play good," he tells me. "I wasn't trying to make him look silly. I thought I'd make his day. I could see he loved West Ham. He'll never forget it as long as he lives. He came on, ran around, loved it, scored a goal. He played for West Ham!"After his West Ham debut, Steve Davies returned to his normal life, but with a new outlook. Back in the smoke-filled pubs for the West Ham games, he was now Steve Davies, the fan who came from the crowd to score for West Ham. In the Boleyn pub, he would joke about his "long and distinguished career". But at work, something had changed. He plucked up the courage to strike out on his own, launching a courier company."I kept the business small," he says. "I done all right out of it, I suppose. I had three drivers, all earning decent money." He still follows West Ham United, home and away.As we finish our fish supper, Steve presses a final cigarette into the ashtray and tells me he has a confession to make. He runs a hand over his shaved head, visibly embarrassed, and says, "My goal was disallowed." He smiles roguishly. "I was two yards offside. I ran up to the ref and told him, 'You bastard, you spoiled my dream!'"• Originally published in Howler Magazine. Follow the magazine on Twitter, @whatahowler.Source - The day Harry Redknapp brought a fan on to play for West Ham

This is one of the best football stories there is....The day Harry Redknapp brought a fan on to play for West HamThe day Harry Redknapp brought a fan on to play for West HamAccording to one of football's most endearing fairytales, Harry Redknapp once pulled an abusive fan from the crowd and put him on the field for West Ham. This allegedly happened in 1994, but no video and scant evidence of the incident exist. Jeff Maysh chased this mystery for over a decade before finally catching up with the fan in questionHarry Redknapp chats to Steve Davies in the crowd at Oxford in 1994, before sending him on as a substitute. Photograph: Steve BaconJeff MayshThursday 5 September 2013 11.42 BSTLast modified on Thursday 28 January 201611.56 GMT• Originally published in Howler MagazineEver since he was five years old, Steve Davies dreamed of playing for West Ham United. He grew up in the rain-thrashed English working-class town of Rushden, where by birthright he should have supported Rushden Town, or Northampton, or even Coventry City. But after watching West Ham triumph over Fulham in the 1975 FA Cup final, he became a long-distance fan, pledging his allegiance to the claret and blue of the Hammers."The other kids at school said I should support a local team. But I just knew I was West Ham. I can't explain it really," says Steve as I hand him a pint of beer and we begin the interview. "I wore the shirt with pride and would travel to see the games as often as I could." (A 182-mile round trip.) Young Steve devoured football magazines and decorated his bedroom walls with photographs of West Ham players.West Ham's Trevor Brooking. Photograph: Allsport"Trevor Brooking was my hero. I had hundreds of photos of Brooking," says Steve of the West Ham legend who played 528 times for the Hammers and scored 88 goals, including a boy'sday-dream of a diving header to steal the FA Cup from Arsenal in 1980. Four months after that, a teenage Steve Davies sneaked on to a train to London to watch Brooking and West Ham United play Watford at Upton Park and was thrilled when the ball flew toward him as he stood in the North Bank. "Amazingly, I caught it," he recalls. "Next thing, Trevor Brooking runs over and signals for me to throw it back."But Steve couldn't let go. As Trevor came ever closer, he clutched the ball. "I remember being that close to my hero. 'Come and get it!' I said." To Steve's delight, he did. Steve gave back the ball and play resumed. "It was a memory that stayed with me for ages," says Steve. "It was all terraces back then, and when a player would take a corner, I could lean over and almost touch him. Almost." West Ham won 3–2, Brooking scored, and Steve had a story to tell his dad after making the long journey back to Rushden.Steve's father, a Welshman named Geoff Davies, was a broad-shouldered Sunday-league defender, and when young Steve came of age, he too began playing in the waterlogged Sunday leagues of the Midlands. "Dad played well into his forties," says Steve proudly. Steve turned out for Fishermead, a strong pub team in Milton Keynes. "Every lad dreamed of playing for their favorite team, and every time I ran on to the pitch I wished I was playing for West Ham United." His boyhood idols were all strong defenders like his old man. "As a teenager, I pretended I was Billy Bonds when I played. I used to admire good defenders, like Ray Stewart. He was Scottish, and the best penalty taker – top corner every time – you wouldn't pick one out. I also tried to model myself on Kenny Sansom, but I was never really good enough, if I'm honest."Like almost all young men who dream of becoming professional sportsmen, Steve's limitations were slowly revealed to him on those frosty fields, and he became distracted by other things, notably West Ham United. "I started going to West Ham proper when I was 15, hence the accent," he says, explaining why he speaks like an East End barrow boy. "I was down there every week, even going to away games. They were great days." But Britain was suffering civil unrest, and the fall of its unions, violent miners' strikes, and mass unemployment made the 1980s a decade of strife that created a microcosm of the football terraces: young men were angry, just because, and hooliganism was born.When Persil printed vouchers on the sides of their soapboxes for discounted train tickets, it made travelling support feasible for an entire generation of youngsters. "Mum bought the Persil, I cut the coupons out, and I was off," he says, and the 80s whizzed past in a blur of industrial chimneys and foreboding clouds out of train windows.Steve had crossed into an exciting new world that smelled of detergent, warm lager, and railway carriages, and he grew from boy to man standing on the terraces in faraway towns. "I'd get stuck in places like Sheffield and couldn't get home, sleeping in empty stations. Fucking hell! But it was brilliant, and West Ham had great away support. We became notorious for it."As he drifted into his twenties, Steve's desire to play professional football all but evaporated. "I still played on Sundays sometimes when I wasn't away with West Ham, more so I could have a drink dinner-time," he says. "You know, turn up, have a pint — that sort of thing." His preferred habitat shifted from the chilly fields of Sunday-league football to the smoke-filled pubs of East London. Inside the Black Lion or the Boleyn Tavern, you could find Steve on any given Saturday, pint aloft, singing that popular waltz from 1918, famously adopted by West Ham fans:I'm forever blowing bubblesPretty bubbles in the airThey fly so highNearly reach the skyThen like my dreamsThey fade and die.'Football was changing, wasn't it?'West Ham United finished Division One runners-up in 1992–93, securing promotion to the top-flight. It was only the second year since the First Division had been remodelled into the fancy Premier League with its loads of cash and players in shampoo commercials. English teams were beginning to attract foreign players with exotic names who performed colourful Italian hand gestures at referees. West Ham signed a Portuguese striker and male model, prompting then–assistant managerHarry Redknapp to quip, "Dani is so good-looking I don't know whether to play him or fuck him."Steve now rarely daydreamed about playing for West Ham. In 1990, he had his first child, Chloe, and in 1993, a boy named Samuel Brooking, named after his West Ham hero, Trevor. To support his new family he became a same-day courier, driving night and day, delivering packages for companies. Finally, he could put to good use the knowledge of British geography he had acquired following the Irons cross-country."I remember one package in particular I picked up at a graphic designer's place in Milton Keynes. I had to take it to Cambridge to be proofed, then they sent me to Bristol. Got to Bristol at half eleven at night, and they says to me, 'You gots to take this to Manchester … and it's got to be there for nine am.' I couldn't believe it. Turns out I was delivering the architectural plans for Manchester City's ground, for their new Kippax stand."After the Hillsborough disaster in 1989 that killed 96 fans, many English stadiums were rebuilt, giving the league a facelift. "This was the 90s," recalls Steve. "Everyone was getting new stadiums and all sorts. Football was changing, wasn't it?"With promotion came a claret-and-blue executive team bus with tinted windows and mini-fridges that would deliver West Ham to play the giants of English football: Manchester United, Arsenal, and Liverpool. In their first season in the Premiership,West Ham finished 13th.'Chunk called me up one day and said, "We got a pre-season game over at Oxford – fancy it?'Steve's best friend was Chunk, and Chunk was also a die-hard West Ham fan. Chunk's real name was Steve, but the nickname was endearing. "He's not fat or nothing," explains Steve Davies. "He's he's just too big to run."Steve and Chunk would travel home and away to watch their team, often driving the length of the country. Chunk was from nearby Hemel Hempstead and drove a gold Vauxhall Cavalier Sri, the type of car favoured by substitute teachers and people with gambling debts."He's a true mate," says Steve. "My first wife was called Kelly, and Chunk's missus was also called Kelly, and they got pregnant at exactly the same time." The Steves and their Kellys once drove 230 miles to Torquay to watch West Ham play when the Kellys were five months pregnant. "Every five miles we had to stop for them to be sick at the side of the road," Steve says. "We nearly missed the kick-off."Chunk called me up one day and said, 'We got a pre-season game over at Oxford – fancy it?'" remembers Steve, who never said no to West Ham. "We liked to get a couple of games in early. We get withdrawal symptoms when the season finishes in May. I very rarely missed a game, and I fancied a little away trip to Oxford anyways." Steve's mate Bazza was also in Chunk's Cavalier as it idled outside Steve's house.A view of the Oxford City FC gates inside Court Place Farm Stadium. Photograph: Richard Heathcote/The FA via Getty ImagesCourt Place Farm sits amid the bleak fields of Oxfordshire, a patchwork quilt of icy horticultural land wrapped in the concrete ribbons of motorway that stretch 60 miles east to London and 148 miles west to Wales. There lies the picture-postcard city of Oxford, famous for its historic university and church steeples that inspired a mid-18th-century poet to christen it the "city of dreaming spires."AdvertisementOxford City Football Club plays in the shadow of local rival Oxford United, who are two leagues above them, and both teams are still worlds away from the neon-coloured cleats and mega-screen televisions of the Premier League. The school-teacher who serves scalding-hot tea at half-time for Oxford argues that this is "real football," played by real men who don't use conditioner and work second jobs. Along the edge of the muddy field, the pitch is outlined with daisies. And while it may not host the pyrotechnics and prima donnas of the Premier League, Oxford City has enjoyed some of football's most remarkable dramas.In his book, Soccer's Strangest Matches, Andrew Ward chronicled "The Endless Cup Tie" of November 1971, in which Oxford City and Alvechurch played a qualifying-round FA Cup tie over six games and 660 minutes before Alvechurch player Bobby Hope's 588th-minute headed goal finally divided the teams, and champagne flowed … in both dressing rooms. "It became an endurance test," wrote Ward. "Alvechurch midfielder Derek Davies, a car-worker on nights, had to be rested from the fourth game … and a few minutes after the fifth game, an elderly Alvechurch supporter collapsed and tragically died."Framed memorabilia of Oxford City's record FA Cup tie against Alvechurch. Photograph: Richard Heathcote - The Fa/The FA via Getty ImagesYet on this summer night in 1994, an even stranger fixture was about to occur. Russell Smith, sports editor at the Oxford Mail, recalls that the town was excited for the return of Joey Beauchamp, the young Oxford United winger who had just transferred to West Ham for a fee of £1.2m, a lad surely destined for stardom with the Irons. Beauchamp's new team-mates consisted of tough international players like Ludek Miklosko, Alvin Martin, American defender Steve Potts, and a crew of everyman sloggers keen to hack those snazzy foreigners in the Premiership for fun.'That's why the top clubs were all after me'It is 1 March 2013. the 17.17 race at Monmore Green. Ballymac Clara explodes out of trap six like a dog possessed. By the first turn she is already placed second as the rest of the pack instinctively chases the electric hare zipping around the track. Bred from a champion stud, Ballymac is a young white bitch with distinctive black markings, and she thunders around the outside, ears pinned back, eyes bulging. This is her first major race, and expectations are high. On the final bend, she is ahead and romps home by an astonishing six and a quarter lengths, running 480 feet in just under 29 seconds."Get in!" Joey Beauchamp, 42, entreats a television in a deserted Oxford betting shop as the handsome dog crosses the finish line. "It was only a small bet, but she won easy," he says with delight. "I had 40 quid on her." Beauchamp is no longer the lithe 23-year-old in the photographs he proudly keeps on his BlackBerry. There, on the tiny screen, he wears the claret and blue of West Ham and is volleying a ball goal-bound. The photograph is from the Oxford City match of 27 July 1994."Darren Anderton went to Tottenham for a million pounds the same time as I went to West Ham," Beauchamp says as he steps out into the street, clutching his winnings. "We were similar players. There was no real left-footed wingers in England before Beckham; I was at the top of my game. That's why the top clubs were all after me." His breath, visible in the cold air, disappears high into the night sky. "We honestly thought we had a serious talent on our hands in Joey," recalls Mark Edwards, chief sports reporter at The Oxford Times. "The Oxford manager at the time said, 'Joey could play for England.' At the top of his game, no player could live with him on the left wing, he was that fast."Joey Beauchamp, playing for West Ham in another 1994 pre-season friendly, this time against St Albans. Photograph: Bob Thomas/Getty ImagesJoey Beauchamp, the million-pound boy wonder, made his West Ham debut in front of a crowd of local admirers, friends, and family at Oxford City's ground. "But unfortunately," he says, "everyone remembers the game for a completely different reason …"'I asked him, what size boots are you, son?'Chunk, Bazza, Steve, and Steve's wife were sitting by a fence with the travelling West Ham fans when Redknapp emerged from the dressing room and greeted them. "Harry being Harry, he talks to people," says Steve. "He said hello and all that. A few fans exchanged pleasantries. But there's no airs and graces with Harry."The first half kicked off like almost every other of the hundreds of West Ham games Steve had watched in his life, over the thousands of miles he'd travelled as a disciple of West Ham United. "Lee Chapman was up front for us, on the edge of the area, and he went up against a little guy from Oxford," recalls Steve. "Lee towered over him, but came down on his arse!" Steve was enraged. "Come on, you donkey, Chapman, you're useless!" he shouted at the striker. "Get up!""If you're watching your team and someone does something really daft, you won't leave them alone for a couple of minutes," explains Steve. "I think Chapman lost the ball again, he got tackled and got a cut on his shin. He went down, and I was shouting, 'Come on! Get up, you donkey!'" Chapman was being hit hard by Oxford's defenders. "He kept getting whacked, and I gave him crap for that," Steve says.Then-West Ham United forward Lee Chapman. Photograph: Ben Radford/Getty ImagesHarry Redknapp delights in telling this particular yarn. Last time he told the story it was on TV show A League of Their Own, at Christmas last year. "There's a guy next to the dug-out," Harry told the host, "and he's got West Ham tattooed all over his arms and neck, he's got the earrings … After two minutes, he started on me." Today, speaking to me in his third one-on-one interview since taking over as QPR boss, he slips into storytelling mode.Advertisement"'We ain't got that Lee Chapman up front do we – I ain't coming every week if he's playing,'" says Harry, doing his impression of Steve. "Half-time I made five substitutions, and we only had the bare 11 out – I was running out of players. Then we got another injury, so I said to this guy in the crowd, 'Oi, can you play as good as you talk?'"The rest of the tale is hallowed football folklore. "I slung a leg over the barrier and Harry walked me down the tunnel," says Steve. "What's your name, son?" Harry asked, sizing up this apparent hooligan. "I couldn't believe it. Inside the dressing room, the players were sat down resting at half-time." West Ham were two-nil up, but the team was carrying injuries. "Then Harry and says, 'Lee you're off; Steve you're on.'"Chapman, shirtless, just nodded. "I asked him, what size boots are you, son?" Redknapp recalls. The kit manager brought Steve a uniform."Alvin Martin was sat next to me, and as we stood up, he smacked me on the back of the head, like a little livener. We come on up the tunnel and I still thought Harry was having a laugh with me. I didn't think I was actually gonna get on, or I thought I might get a minute or two as a joke." The crowd broke into applause as the teams appeared once again.The second half kicked off with a shrill whistle. "I didn't come out of Oxford's half," laughs Steve. "I was playing up front with Trevor Morley, goal-hanging! It was fucking quick football. This was a step up from Sunday league, to say the least. Oxford play Saturday football – I played Sunday football, pub football."I got a few touches, including a pass from Alvin Martin; I remember he called out my name in his Scouse accent. I was blown away. 'Stevie!' he shouted, and he sent the ball pinging to my feet. It had such pace on it, nearly knocked me over."Steve says he was out of his depth, trying to keep up with international players and fighting the urge to steal a glance over to the stands where his wife, Bazza, and Chunk were watching in disbelief. "I didn't get any shots on target because I was never alone. This wasn't like park football. Defenders didn't leave you alone."Redknapp issues instructions to Davies. Photograph: Steve BaconWhen the stadium announcer saw Steve take to the field, he sent an assistant down to get the name of this new signing so he could announce it to the crowd. "I asked the guy, you been watching the World Cup?" Redknapp tells me. "The great Bulgarian Tittyshev?""It didn't feel natural at all – that's what people always ask," says Steve. "I was just trying to stay calm. After the first five minutes, my legs were shaking; I was playing for West Ham! After that it was just 'get on with the game' kind of thing. I was running on adrenaline, and I was more worried about fucking up. I played a safe game, made a couple of passes hooking up with the centre-half, Martin" – who, Steve says, was "solid as a rock" — "and Beauchamp. He was hot property at the time." In fact, Beauchamp scored a cracking goal in the 65th minute, a top-corner screamer, which was ruled offside."Suddenly, we were on the attack," recalls Steve. "The ball went out wide – I'm sure it was Matty Holmes on the wing – and we pushed forward. I had two defenders in front of me and I was just sprinting forward, I think." He didn't purposely split the defenders, but neither was marking him tightly, and Steve flew forward, fast out of the traps. He picked up the ball from Holmes, and a clumsy first touch took him and the ball into the penalty area. Suddenly, thousands of eyes fell upon him as he escaped the pack. He was, for a moment, an image from a poster on the wall of his childhood bedroom.The legend of Steve Davies, the courier from Milton KeynesIn the history of professional football, no fan had ever come from the stands and played for their team. That's not to say fans have never influenced a sporting result. Jeffrey Maier was a 12-year-old American baseball fan who became famous when he deflected a batted ball in play into the Yankee Stadium stands during Game 1 of the 1996 American League Championship Series, between New York and the Orioles. There's footage of Fernanda Maia, a quick-thinking Brazilian ball-girl, setting up a goal with a deft pass to a Botafogo player in the Campeonato Carioca final between Botafogo and Vasco da Gama. The closest story to that of Steve Davies's is that of music fan Scot Halpin, who became a rock 'n' roll legend when he attended The Who's sold-out show at San Francisco's Cow Palace in November 1973. The 19-year-old rock fan, then living in Monterey, California, bought a pair of scalped tickets for the show. When drummer Keith Moon collapsed for a second time due to drink and drugs, Halpin was invited to the stage and filled in for an entire set, drumming with his heroes.But what happened that night at Court Place Farm in the 71st minute was even more remarkable. It made a legend of Steve Davies, the courier from Milton Keynes.Sadly, Steve's magical moment occurred before camera phones and YouTube. Almost every West Ham fan can tell you his story, yet there exists little evidence of what exactly happened: in the dusty archives of the Oxford Mail, the brown envelope that should hold the match reports from 1994 is empty.I first tried to find the truth 10 years ago. I wrote letters to some 200 people named Steven Davies in East London and placed an ad in a West Ham fanzine that read: "Are you Harry's fan?" No one replied.Eventually, I found documentation of the game in London, hidden in the bowels of the British Library on microfilm that one must request access to a week in advance. There, you can trawl through ancient issues of British tabloid newspapers. Turn a lever and English news of the 1990s plays out like a primitive phenakistoscope of tabloid scandal and kiss-and-tells. Thatcher grimaces; topless models, with hair in perms and lips painted red, flash their wares. I also contacted Steve Bacon, West Ham's loyal photographer, who had to hunt through years of negatives to find Steve's moment.Steve Davies during the second half. Photograph: Steve BaconSteve Davies finally came forward when a house fire destroyed his precious memorabilia in 2011. Searching an Oxford City online forum for evidence of that day, he found my appeal, from many years before, for him to speak about the game. Three months later, in freezing March, I flew from Los Angeles, where I live and work, to Oxford.On an icy field, Steve nervously re-creates what happened. He takes me to the corner of the field where he watched the first half of the game, and where Harry called him out. Steve was the loudest voice in the crowd, the only supporter passionate enough to be noticed in the stands at a pre-season game. And then he talks me through what happened in the 71st minute.Half an hour previously, he had been sucking on a cigarette in the away supporters' end, swigging from a bottle, and considering a third beer. Now he's taken the pass in stride and is in front of goal; City's veteran keeper Colin Fleet is bearing down on him, palms out, head down. The summer sun has dropped low beneath the bare trees on the horizon, painting the entire scene gold and casting long shadows."I just hit it," he says with a shrug. "I hit it like nothing else. Know what I mean? I belted it." The ball whistled low, past the outstretched hand of the Oxford goalkeeper, and ran into the bottom corner of the goal. Steve says he wheeled away in celebration, arms extended, head bent with disbelief. On the side of the field, Redknapp turned around and looked briefly to the heavens."It was like time stopped still – it was the greatest moment of my life," says Steve. Somewhere in the crowd, Bazza and Chunk were losing their minds. Steve Davies had scored on his West Ham debut."After that, I was exhausted. I was on 30 cigarettes a day back then," Steve admits. "I wouldn't condone it. I had a couple of cigs and a couple of beers in the first half, didn't I?" He admits his goal was not spectacular: "I'm not gonna butter myself up, but they all count." And when the full-time whistle blew, West Ham had won 4–0. Steve walked down the tunnel with the rest of his team-mates, jubilant.Then, as suddenly as it began, the dream was over. The kit manager wouldn't let Steve keep his No3 shirt – they'd need it against Newcastle the next week in the Premier League. And 25 minutes later, Steve was back in the Cavalier with Chunk, Bazza, and his missus, stuck in traffic on the road back to reality.An allegory for hopeIn the Magdalen Arms, Oxford, the waiter drops two plates of battered haddock in front of me and Steve. "What's this?" Steve says, prodding the massive fish. "A whale?" It's nearly 20 years since that game, and the former West Ham striker still has his head shaved. He has been divorced and remarried. His new wife, Tammy, says that to strangers, Steve can look "psychotic," which his friends find funny. He has a dry wit and disarming sense of humour. After modestly recounting his brief but spectacular playing career, he asks me: "After all this time, why did you keep chasing this story?" He lights a cigarette. I explain that his story is an allegory for hope.That game against Oxford City happened to be the last time Beauchamp ever played for West Ham. Citing "homesickness," he left the club after just 56 days. The Hammers had paid more than £1m, and in one of his only appearances, he had been outplayed by a £300-a-week courier from the crowd. Beauchamp was transferred to Oxford United's rivals, Swindon, infuriating his home team's fans, before he was transferred back to Oxford. He would play 238 more games for his local team before his career fizzled out.Joey Beauchamp, back playing with Oxford United in 1998. Photograph: Clive Mason/AllsportIn 2010, he told the Oxford Mail that he had never wanted to join West Ham in the first place: "Oxford United told me that if I didn't join West Ham, then Oxford would be over; they had no money. What was I supposed to do? I could never have lived with myself if I refused to join West Ham and then Oxford did go under."Was the real reason Joey Beauchamp ended up playing for his hated rival, Swindon, a secret plot to save the club he dreamed of playing for as a child? If it was, the fans haven't yet realised it: "I still get abused by Oxford fans to this day about playing for Swindon," he told the Oxford Mail soon after being arrested for drunk driving. But Beauchamp fought back and this year took his first real job after attending a seminar for unemployed former soccer players: he works in a betting shop. "I'm playing football tomorrow, actually," he tells me. "I'm turning out for a local pub team called Northway. I've got 36 goals this season. I'm their top scorer!"What happened nextThe week after Harry Redknapp took the audacious step of putting a West Ham fan on the field, the club promoted him from assistant manager to manager. It is not known if the two events were related. By 1999, he had pushed West Ham to their second-highest finish: fifth place in the Premiership, qualifying to play in Europe. Spells at Southampton and Portsmouth followed, and he took the latter to their first FA Cup final in 69 years in May 2008. Portsmouth won 1-0. He led Tottenham Hotspur to the Champions League, becoming Premier League Manager of the Year. Last season, he was manager of the doomed Queen's Park Rangers, whom he could not save from relegation.Harry Redknapp managing West Ham in 1999. Photograph: Phil Cole/AllsportSpeaking from his Range Rover, at the end of a stressful season, Redknapp is driving toward his vacation spot on the English coast. "I was hoping he could play good," he tells me. "I wasn't trying to make him look silly. I thought I'd make his day. I could see he loved West Ham. He'll never forget it as long as he lives. He came on, ran around, loved it, scored a goal. He played for West Ham!"After his West Ham debut, Steve Davies returned to his normal life, but with a new outlook. Back in the smoke-filled pubs for the West Ham games, he was now Steve Davies, the fan who came from the crowd to score for West Ham. In the Boleyn pub, he would joke about his "long and distinguished career". But at work, something had changed. He plucked up the courage to strike out on his own, launching a courier company."I kept the business small," he says. "I done all right out of it, I suppose. I had three drivers, all earning decent money." He still follows West Ham United, home and away.As we finish our fish supper, Steve presses a final cigarette into the ashtray and tells me he has a confession to make. He runs a hand over his shaved head, visibly embarrassed, and says, "My goal was disallowed." He smiles roguishly. "I was two yards offside. I ran up to the ref and told him, 'You bastard, you spoiled my dream!'"• Originally published in Howler Magazine. Follow the magazine on Twitter,@whatahowler.

A Hot Potato: an issue (mostly current) which many people are talking about and which is usually disputedA penny for your thoughts: A way of asking what someone is thinkingActions speak louder than words : People’s intentions can be judged better by what they do than what they say.Add insult to injury : To further a loss with mockery or indignity; to worsen an unfavorable situation.At the drop of a hat : without any hesitation; instantly.A Daniel come to judgement ? : Someone who makes a wise judgement about something that has previously proven difficult to resolve.A diamond in the rough : Someone who is basically good hearted but lacking social graces and respect for the law.A different kettle of fish : An alternative; a different thing altogether.A dish fit for the gods : An offering of high quality.A fate worse than death : Any misfortune that would make life unliveable.A feather in one’s cap : A symbol of honour and achievement.A fish rots from the head down : When an organization or state fails, it is the leadership that is the root cause.A feather in one’s cap : A symbol of honour and achievement.A fish rots from the head down : When an organization or state fails, it is the leadership that is the root cause.A fish out of water : Someone who is in a situation they are unsuited to.A fly in the ointment : A small but irritating flaw that spoils the whole.A fool’s paradise : A state of happiness based on false hope.A foot in the door : An introduction or way in to something, made in order that progress may be made later.A foregone conclusion : A decision made before the evidence for it is known. An inevitable conclusion.A knight in shining armour : A man, who comes to the aid of another, usually a woman, in a gallant and courteous manner.A leopard cannot change its spots : The notion that things cannot change their innate nature.A man after my own heart : someone I can agree with.A millstone round his neck : A heavy and inescapable burden or responsibility.A rolling stone gathers no moss : Someone who does not settle in one place rarely prospers.A sea change : A radical change or transformation.A shot in the arm : A stimulus.A stitch in time saves nine : A timely effort will prevent more work later.Above board : Openly; without any trickery.Against the grain : Against one’s inclination or natural tendency.It was Greek / Latin to me : It was unintelligible to me.A little bird told me : I was told by a private or secret source.A load of cobblers : Nonsense, rubbish.All at sea : In a state of confusion and disorder.Alter ego : A second selfAn albatross round his neck : A burden which some unfortunate person has to carry.As cold as stone : Very cold.As fine as frog’s hair : Extremely fine, that is, delicate and slender.At one fell swoop : Suddenly; in a single action.At his wits end : unable to think what to do.At sixs and sevens : A state of confusion and disorderA tinker’s dam ? : Something that is insignificant or worthless.A turn up for the books : An unexpected piece of good fortune.A watched pot never boils : Time feels longer when you’re waiting for something to happen.A wolf in sheep’s clothing : Someone who hides malicious intent under the guise of kindliness.Burn midnight oil: Do hard work / To work late into the nightA chain is only as strong as the weakest link : The weakest person/link will make everyone weakAs different as chalk and cheese : Two things that are very different from each other.As alike as two peas in a pod : Two identical items or people.Baptism of / with fire : An ordeal or martyrdom. More recently, a soldier’s first experience of battle.Bane of one’s life : The agent of ruin or woe.Batten down the hatches : Prepare for trouble.Bee in your bonnet : Preoccupied or obsessed with an idea.Before you could say Jack Robinson : In a very short time; suddenly.Bell the cat : Handle the trouble, especially of a difficult jobBetween the devil and the deep blue sea : In difficulty, faced with two dangerous alternatives.Blow your own trumpet : Act in a boastful, self-promoting manner.Bread always falls buttered side down : An expression of a pessimistic view of life.Back to the drawing board : When an attempt fails and it’s time to start all over.Ball is in your court : It is up to you to make the next decision or stepBarking up the wrong tree : Looking in the wrong place. Accusing the wrong personBe happy to see the back of : Be happy when a person leaves.Beat around the bush : Avoiding the main topic, Not speaking directly about the issue.Best of both worlds : All the advantages.Best thing since sliced bread : A good invention or innovation. A good idea or plan.Bite off more than you can chew : To take on a task that is way too big.Break a leg : Said to actors for good luck before they go on stage, especially on an opening night.Break the ice :To break down social formality and stiffness.Bring home the bacon : To earn money, particularly for one’s family; to be successful, especially financially successful.Broad in the beam : Having wide hips or buttocks.Brown as a berry : Entirely or very brown; often referring to a suntanned skin.Brownie points : A notional mark of achievement or kudos for performing some creditable act.The buck stops here : Responsibility is not passed on beyond this pointBurn the candle at both ends : To live at a hectic pace.Bury the hatchet : To settle your differences with an adversary.Bury your head in the sand : Refuse to confront or acknowledge a problem.Busy as a bee : Very busy.By the skin of your teeth : Narrowly; barely. Usually used in regard to a narrow escape from a disaster.Blessing in disguise : Something good that isn’t recognized at first.Burn the midnight oil : Do hard work / To work late into the nightBy the short hairs : trapped by an opponent in a position one can’t easily escape from.Carry coals to Newcastle: To do something pointless and superfluous.Carte Blanche / Blanket sanction : freedom to choose whatever you want.Cast the first stone : Be the first to attack a sinner.Cat Cut your tongue : asking someone who is very silent.Champ at the bit : Be restless and impatient to commence; especially during an unwelcome delay.Chance would be a fine thing : There is not much chance of that [thing], welcome though it would be.Charity begins at home : taking care of one’s family, before caring for others.Cheek by jowl : Side by side; in close or intimate proximityChickens come home to roost : Bad deeds or words return to discomfort their perpetrator.Can’t judge a book by its cover : Cannot judge something primarily on appearance.Caught between two stools : When someone finds it difficult to choose between two alternatives.Cost an arm and a leg : This idiom is used when something is very expensive.Cross the bridge when you come to it : Deal with a problem if and when it becomes necessary, not before.Cry over spilt milk : When you complain about a loss from the past.Curiosity killed the cat : Being Inquisitive can lead you into an unpleasant situation.Cut Corners : When something is done badly to save money.Cut the mustard : To succeed; to come up to expectations; adequate enough to compete or participateChip off the old block : A person or thing that derives from the source or parentage.Chip on your shoulder : A perceived grievance or sense of inferiority.Chock –a block : Crammed so tightly together as to prevent movement.Chop and change : To change and change again.Clear blue water : the discernible/seen distance between the ideologies of two political parties.Cliff Hanger : A situation of suspense / very closeCloak and dagger : Spying / suspense / thriller, especially in the context of drama.Close quarters : Close contact with enemy, especially in a military context.On cloud nine : In a state of blissful happiness.Clutch at straws : Try any route to get out of a desperate situation.Coin a phrase : To create a new phrase.Cold feet : To ‘get cold feet’ is to become disheartened or timid, losing one’s previous enthusiasm or courage.Come a cropper : Fall over or fail at some venture.Cooking the books : The deliberate distorting of a firm’s financial accounts, to avoiding the payment of tax.Cool as cucumber : Calm and unruffled.Crocodile tears : to put on an insincere show of sorrow.Cry Havoc : cause disorder and confusion’.Cut and run : Run away.Cut off without a penny : Disinherited.Cut to the chase : Get to the point.Cut of your jib : One’s general appearance and demeanour.Devil’s Advocate: To present a counter argumentDon’t count your chickens before the eggs/they have hatched : Don’t make plans for something that might not happenDon’t give up the day job: You are not very good at something. You could definitely not do it professionally.Don’t put all your eggs in one basket : Do not put all your resources in one possibility.Drastic / Desperate times call for Drastic / Desperate measures : When you are extremely desperate you need to take drastic actions.Daft as a brush : Very foolish.Damp squib : Something that fails to satisfy expectations, disappointment.Dark horse : someone, who was previously little known, emerges to prominence in a competition.The darling buds of May : An appreciation of what is fresh and new.Dash to pieces : Break into fragments.Davy Jones Locker : The bottom of the sea; the mythical resting place of drowned mariners.Daylight Robbery : Blatant and unfair overcharging.As dead as a doornail : Dead, devoid of lifeThe devil incarnate : The Devil in human form.The devil take the hindmost : those who lag behind will receive no aid.The devil to pay : bad consequences following one’s actions.The die has been cast : An irrevocable choice has been made.Dock your pay : Make a deduction from a person’s pay.Dog in the manger : Spiteful and mean-spirited.Don’t change horses in midstream : Don’t change your leader or your basic position when mid way through a campaign or a project .Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater :Don’t discard something valuable along with something undesirable.Don’t try to teach your grandma to suck eggs : Don’t offer advice to someone who has more experience than oneself.Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth : Don’t be ungrateful when you receive a gift.Doom and gloom : A feeling of pessimism and despondency,Double Dutch : Nonsense; gibberish – a language one cannot understand.Double whammy : A double blow or setback.Down in the dumps : Unhappy; depressed.Dressed up to the nines : Dressed flamboyantly or smartly.Drink like a fish : Drink heavily, especially of alcoholic drink.Dropping like flies : Falling down ill or dead in large numbers.Elvis has left the building : The show has come to an end. It’s all over.Every cloud has a silver lining : Be optimistic, even difficult times will lead to better days.Early bird catches the worm : Success comes to those who prepare well and put in effort.Eaten out of house and home : to waste and consume his substance, money etc.Elephant in the room : An important and obvious topic, which everyone present is aware of, but which isn’t discussed, as such discussion is considered to be uncomfortableEmperor’s new clothes : The label given to any fictional item that viewers have been induced into believing as real.Englishmen’s home is his castle : a man’s home is his refuge.Even at the turning of the tide : denote some change from a previously stable course of events.Eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth : The notion that for every wrong done there should be a compensating measure of justice.Face that launched a thousand ships : A reference to the mythological figure Helen of Troy (or some would say, to Aphrodite). Her abduction by Paris was said to be the reason for a fleet of a thousand ships to be launched into battle, initiating the Trojan Wars.Far cry from : Very different fromFeel a bit under the weather : Feeling slightly ill.Face the music : Accept the unpleasant consequences of one’s actions.Fag End : The remains of something, especially the part left after the best part has been used.Fair Play : giving all participants an equal chance.Fall from grace : To fall from position of high esteem.Fall Guy : A scapegoat; one who takes on the responsibilities or workload of others.Fend off : To resist; to keep (someone or something) from coming near.Field Day : A day of excitement or a circumstance of opportunity.Fit as a butcher’s dog : Very fit.Fit as a fiddle : Very fit and well.Flesh and blood : To see in real / meet in person.Fly by the seat of one’s pants : Decide a course of action as you go along, using your own initiative and perceptions rather than a predetermined plan or mechanical aids.Fly off the handle : Lose self control.Fly on the wall : being able to freely observe a situation without being oneself noticed.For good measure : As an additional extra.Full Monty :Complete, the whole thing.Full to the gunwales : Full to the brim; packed tight.Get a word in edgeways : Join a conversation in which another is speaking continually and leaving little for for others.Get one’s ducks in a row : get your affairs in orderGet down to brass tacks : Engage with the basic facts or realities.Get off your high horse : Asking someone to stop behaving in a haughty and self-righteous manner.Get a headstart – get an early advantageGiddy goat : Behave foolishly.Give the benefit of the doubt : Believe someone’s statement, without proof.Take the gilt off the gingerbread : Remove an item’s most attractive qualities.Give someone a cold shoulder – neglect someoneGive the devil his due : ‘give back what you owe’, either money or favours.Give no quarter : Show no mercy or concession for a vanquished opponent.Go pound sand : ‘get lost’, ‘go and play in the traffic’, etc.Go to the dogs : Become ruined.Go the whole hog : To perform some act or adopt some opinion fully and thoroughly.Grand Slam : any all-out achievement.Grasp the nettle : To tackle a difficult problem boldly.Graveyard shift : A late-night/early-morning work shift.Greased Lightening : Very fast.Great balls of fire : An exclamation of surprise or delight.Green eyed monster : Jealousy.Greyhound in the slips : ready and anxious to depart.Grist to the mill : All things are a potential source of profit or advantage.Have an axe to grind : Have a dispute to take up with someone.Heebie-jeebies : A feeling of anxiety, apprehension or illness.Hear it on the grapevine : ‘To hear rumors’ about something or someone.Hit the nail on the head : Do or say something exactly rightHit the sack : To go to bed.Half Hearted : Having one’s intentions divided; not fully committedHandbags at ten paces : A confrontation which is histrionic but which doesn’t involve physical violence. Such confrontations are also called handbag situations.Handle with kid gloves : Handle a situation, or a person or an object, delicately and gingerly.Happy as a clam : Very happy and content.Hard cases make bad laws : ‘Hard’, that is, exceptional, legal cases aren’t suitable as the source of generalised laws.Harvest moon : The full moon closest to the autumn equinox.Have an inkling : Have a vague intimation of; have a slight knowledge of.Have your guts for garters : A threat of a serious reprisal.Head over heels : Excited, and/or turning cartwheels to demonstrate one’s excitement.Hiding to nothing : To be faced with a situation which is pointless, as a successful outcome is impossible.Hit the ground running : Get off to a brisk and successful start.Hobson’s choice : No real choice at all – the only options being to either accept what is offered or refuse it.Hold a candle to : To compare badly to an known authority – to be unfit even to hold a subordinate positionHot off the press : Freshly printed.Hot on the heels : In close pursuit of someone/something, or immediately after some event.Hanged drawn and quartered : A gruesome form of torture and, eventually, death by execution.In the heat of the moment : Overwhelmed / carried away by what is happening in the moment.It takes two to tango : Actions or communications need more than one personIf it ain;t broke don’t fix it : If something is working adequately well, leave it alone.If the shoe fits, wear it : If a description applies to you, then accept it.Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery : Literal meaning.In a nutshell : In a few words; concisely stated.In a pig’s eye : An expression of emphatic disbelief.In someone’s bad books : To be in disgrace or out of favour.In the box seat : In a superior or advantageous position.In the doldrums : In low spirits; feeling dull and drowsy.In the same boat : In the same circumstances; facing the same predicament.In your face : In a bold confrontational manner.It ain’t over till the fat lady sings : Nothing is irreversible until the final act is played out.It came like a bolt from the blue : A complete and sudden surprise.It never rains but it pours: When troubles come they come together.It’s not rocket science : It is simple and isn’t difficult to understand.Ivory tower : A state of sheltered intellectual isolation.Jack of all trades : A man who can do many things.Jobs for the boys : Favouritism where jobs or other benefits are given to friends and acquaintances.Join the colours : Enlist in the army.Joined at the hip : Inextricably linked; inseparable.Jump the gun : Begin something before preparations for it are complete.Jury is still out : Judgement has not yet been finalised on a particular subject; especially due to information being incomplete.Jump on the bandwagon : Join a popular trend or activity.Keep something at bay : Keep something awayKill two birds with one stone : To accomplish two different things at the same time.Keep the ball rolling : Maintain a level of activity in and enthusiasm for a project.Keep up with the Joneses : Strive to match one’s neighbours in spending and social standing.Keen as mustard : Very enthusiastic.Keep a stiff upper lip : Remain resolute and unemotional in the face of adversity, or even tragedy.Keep it under your hat : Keep it secret.Keep your nose to the grindstone : Apply yourself conscientiously to your work.Kick the bucket : Die.Knock into a cocked hat : To beat severely.Knock on wood : rap knuckles on a piece of wood hoping to stave off bad luckKnow the ropes : to understand how to do something.Know on which side your bread is buttered : to be aware of which side of a conflict it is in your interests to be on.Last straw : The final problem in a series of problems.Let sleeping dogs lie : Do not disturb a situation as it is since it would result in trouble or complications.Let bygones be bygones : Let the past goLet the cat out of the bag : Give out the secretLaid out in lavender : Prepared for burial / show something in the best possible light.Lamb to the slaughter : In an unconcerned manner – unaware of the impending catastrophe.Left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing : One’s varied interests are kept separate.Let your hair down : Behave in a free or uninhibited manner.Life’s not all beer and skittles : shorthand for a life of indulgence spent in the pub.Like a moth to a flame : Irresistibly and dangerously attracted to something or someone.Like a chicken with its head cut off : In a frenzied manner.Little pitchers have big ears : be careful, children are listening.Lock, stock and barrel : The whole thing.Loose lips sink ships : Unguarded talk may give useful information to the enemy.Lose your marbles : Lose your wits.Make a clean breast of it : To make a full disclosure; to confess.Make a long story short : Come to the point – leave out detailsMethod to madness : Despite seeming random, there actually is structure to it.Miss the boat : someone missed his or her chanceMake no bones about : To state a fact in a way that allows no doubt.Mighty oaks from little acorns grow : Great things may come from small beginnings.Milk of human kindness : Care and compassion for others.More bang for your buck : More for your money.Moving the goalposts : Changing the target of a process or competition in order to give advantage.Nail your colours to the mast :To defiantly display one’s opinions and beliefs until the end.Never the twain shall meet : Two things which are so different as to have no opportunity to unite.Nod is as good as a wink :To a person who is ready to understand or undertake something, any subtle signalling of it is sufficient.Not rocket science :It (the subject under discussion) isn’t difficult to understand.Not a spark of decency : No mannersNot playing with a full deck : Someone who lacks intelligence.Off one’s rocker : Crazy, demented, out of one’s mindOn the ball : When someone understands the situation well.Once in a blue moon : Happens very rarely.Off his own bat / on his own steam : By an individual’s own efforts.Off with his head :mildly reproaching someone.On the fiddle : Engaged in a fraud.On the pig’s back :To be in luck; in a prosperous happy state.On the side of the angels : Acting in good principles which are morally virtuous.On your beam ends : Hard up; in a bad situation.On with the motley : Prepare for a stage performance / let’s begin or let’s continue.One foot in the grave : To be near to death.One sandwich short of a picnic : A jokey, colloquial term for stupid.One stop shop : A location, usually a shop, where various requirements can be met in one place.Penny wise pound foolish : careful for small things, careless for important thingsPicture paints a thousand words : A visual presentation is far more descriptive than words.Piece of cake : A job, task or other activity that is easy or simple.Put wool over other people’s eyes : to deceive someone into thinking well of them.Play ducks and drakes : To behave recklessly; to idly squander one’s wealth.Paddle your own canoe : Act independently and decide your own fate.Physician heal thyself : Attend to one’s own faults, in preference to pointing out the faults of others.A pig in a poke : An offer or deal that is foolishly accepted without being examined first.A plague on both your houses : A frustrated curse on both sides of an argument.Plates of meat :Feet.Play the race card : To attempt to gain advantage by drawing attention to one’s race.Praying at the porcelain altar : Vomiting down the toilet.Preaching to the choir : To (pointlessly) try to convince a person or group to accept an opinion that they already agree with.Pull out all the stops : Make every possible effort.Push the envelope : To attempt to extend the current limits of performance. To innovate, or go beyond commonly accepted boundaries.Put the cart before the horse : Reverse the accepted or logical order of things.Put a spanner in the works : Deliberately causing mayhem / disturbance.Punching above his weight : Competing against someone who you are no match for.Put on your thinking cap : Take time for consideration of some question.Put the wood in the hole : Close the door.Put your best foot forward : Embark on a journey or task with purpose and gustoQuantum leap : A sudden, very noticeable and significant advance.Quid pro quo : Something given in return for an item of equivalent value – like tit for tat.Raining cats and dogs : Raining very heavily.Read between the lines : Discern a meaning which isn’t made obvious or explicit.Rest on one’s laurels : To be satisfied with one’s past success and to consider further effort unnecessary.Rise and shine : Get out of bed and prepare for work.Rub of the green : Luck; especially in sports and pastimes played on a green surface.Run out of steam : Run out of energy.Saved by the bell : Saved by a last minute intervention.See eye to eye : Two (or more people) agree on something.Sit on the fence : when someone does not want to choose or make a decision.Speak of the devil : when the person you have just been talking about arrives.Steal someone’s thunder : To take the credit for something someone else did.Shiver me timbers : An oath, expressing annoyance or surprise.Skeleton in the closet : A secret source of shame, potentially ruinous if exposed, which a person or family makes efforts to conceal.The smallest room in the house : A euphemistic reference to a lavatory.Spare the rod and spoil the child : The notion that children will only flourish if punished, physically or otherwise, for any wrongdoing.Start from scratch : Begin (again) from the beginning,Stone the crows : An exclamation of incredulity or annoyance.Suspension of disbelief : The temporary acceptance of incredible.Take with a grain / pinch of salt : not to take what someone says too seriously.Taste of your own medicine : something is done to you, that you have done to someone elseTo hear something straight from the horse’s mouth : To hear something from the authoritative source.Tempest in a teapot : A small or unimportant event that is over-reacted to,Talking through one’s hat : Talk nonsense;Talk to the hand (’cause the face ain’t listening) : (With outstretched vertical palm) Shut up – I’ve no interest in hearing what you’ve got to say.The apple of my eye : usually someone, cherished above others.The chickens come home to roost : Bad deeds or words return to discomfort their perpetrator.The short end of the stick raw deal : To get the short end of the stick is to come off worst in a bargain or contest.The devil is in the details : The details of a plan, while seeming insignificant, may contain hidden problems that threaten its overall feasibility.The devil to pay : Impending trouble or other bad consequences following from one’s actions.The ends of the earth : The furthest reaches of the land.The moving finger writes : Whatever one does in one’s life is one’s own responsibility and cannot be changed.The proof of the pudding : To fully judge how effective something is you need to use it for its intended purpose.The road to hell is paved with good intentions :The unconventional or uninvestigated option / ‘alternative’.The shoemaker always wears the worst shoes : Artisans work for the wealthy but cannot afford their own produce.The Tail wagging the dog : An item of minor importance dominating a situation.The usual suspects : The people habitually suspected or arrested in response to a crime.The writing is on the wall : Imminent danger has become apparent.A thing of beauty is a joy forever : The experience of beauty is blissful and lasting.Throw in the towel : Give up,Throw your hat into the ring :take up a challenge / demonstrate one’s willingness to join an enterprise.Tie the knot : Get married.Till the cows come home : For a long but indefinite time.The toast of the town : A person who is widely admired.Tongue in cheek : In an ironic manner, not meant to be taken seriously.Wouldn’t touch with a barge-pole : something or someone so unappealing that one wouldn’t want to go anywhere near.Turn a blind eye : To knowingly refuse to acknowledge something which you know to be real.Turn the tables : Reverse the positions of adversaries. The phrases is often used when the weaker position subsequently becomes dominant.Under the thumb : Completely under someone’s control.Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown : A person with great responsibilities, such as a king, is constantly worried.Up a gum tree : in great difficulties.Up in arms : Roused; incensed.Vanish into thin air : Disappear without trace.Walk the talk : Back up one’s talk with action.A wide berth : A good amount of leeway or spaceWear my heart upon my sleeve : Display your feelings openly, for all to see.Wet behind the ears : Naive.When in Rome, do as the Romans do : It is polite, and possibly also advantageous, to abide by the customs of a society when one is a visitor.When it comes to the crunch : When a decisive point at which one’s future course is determined.When the shit hits the fan/ wash your dirty linen in public :Messy and exciting consequences by a previously secret situation becoming public.A word in your shell-like : I would like to talk to you.Whole nine yards : Everything, All of it.Wouldn’t be caught dead : Would never like to do somethingYour guess is as good as mine : To have no idea, do not know the answer to a question2List of Idioms from A – ZA IdiomsA big cheese– an important or a powerful person in a group or familyA bird’s eye view– a view from a very high place which allows you to see a large areaA cock and a bull story– a story or an explanation which is obviously not true.At the crack of the dawn– very early in morningA cuckoo in the nest– someone in a group of people but not liked by them.A litmus test– a method which clearly proves somethingAs the crow flies– measuring distance between two places in a straight line.A dead letter– an argument or law not followed by anyone.An early bird– someone who gets early in the morningAn educated guess– a guess which was likely to get correctedAt the eleventh hour– be too late.A queer fish– a strange personA wakeup call– an event done to warn someoneA worm’s eye view– having very little knowledge about somethingA witch hunt– an attempt to find and punish those who have options that are believed to be dangerousAt the heels of– to follow someoneA game of two equal halves– a sudden change in circumstancesAfraid of one’s own shadow– to become easily frightenedAgainst the clock– to be in a hurry to do something before a particular timeAir one’s dirty laundry– to make public something embarrassing that should be kept secret.All systems go- everything is ready.Appear out of nowhere– to appear suddenly without warning.Ask for the moon– to ask for too much.Asleep at the switch– not to be alert on opportunityAt someone’s beck and call– to be always ready to serveAt the bottom of the ladder– at the lowest levelA house of cards– a poor planAt an arm’s length– to keep at a distanceA boon in disguise– a benefit in lossA bull in a China shop– an awkward personA red letter day– an important dayA nine days wonder– pleasure for a short timeB idiomsBad blood– feelings of hate between two familiesBend your ears– to talk to someone for a verylong time about something boringBite your tongue– to stop yourself from sayingsomething because it would be better not toBlack and blue– full of bruisesBlue blood– belonging to high social class / royal familyBe bouncing off the walls– excited and full ofnervous energyBow and scrap– try too hard to please someonein a position of authorityBrass monkey weather– extremely cold weatherBe tailor made– to be completely suitable for someone.Be as clear as mud– to be impossible to understandBe on cloud nine– be very happyBeat the drum– to speak eagerly about somethingyou supportBe on the edge– to be nervous or worried aboutsomethingBe in seventh heaven– extremely happyBe at each other’s throat– two persons arguing angrilyBack the wrong horse– to support someone weakBack to square one– to reach again to the starting pointBack to the salt mines– back to something that youdon’t want to doBall of fire– active and energeticBeat one’s head against the wall- to try to dosomething that is hopelessBeat one’s brain out– to work hardBegin to see the light– to begin to understandBehind closed doors– done in secretBet on the wrong horse– to misread the futureBent on doing– to be determined to do somethingBite the bullet– to face a difficult situation bravelyBitter pill to swallow– an unpleasant fact that mustbe acceptedBlack sheep of the family– worst memberBlind leading the blind– someone who does notunderstand something but tries to explain it to otherBlow one’s own horn / trumpet– to praise oneselfBlow someone’s mind– excite someoneBone of contention– subject matter of the fightBlue in the face– exhausted and speechlessBreak the back of– reduce the power of somethingBurn a hole in one’s pocket– to spend money quicklyBushman’s holiday– a holiday where you spenddoing same thing as you did at working daysButton’s one lip– to keep quiteC idiomsCarrot and sticks– You use both awards as well aspunishments to make someone do something.Cloak and dragger– when people behave in a very secret mannerCards are stacked against– luck is against youCrack a book– to open book to studyCast in the same mould– to be very similarCap it all– to finishCried with eyes out– cried a lotCarry the can– If you carry the can, you take the blame for something, even though you didn’t do it or are only partly at fault.Cast a long shadow– Something or someone that casts a long shadow has considerable influence on other people or events.Cat and dog life– If people lead a cat and doglife, they are always arguing.D idiomsDrive a wedge between– to break relationshipbetween the twoDances to the tune– to always do whatsomeone tells you to doDressed up to the nines– wearing fancy clothesDragging its feet– delaying in decision, not showing enthusiasmDavey Jones’ locker- Davey Jones’ locker is the bottom of the sea or resting place of drowned sailors. (‘Davy Jones’ locker’ is an alternative spelling.)Dancing on someone’s grave- If you will dance. on someone’s grave, you will outlive or outlast them and will celebrate their demiseDog in the manger- If someone acts like a dog in the manger, they don’t want other people to have or enjoy things that are useless to themDon’t wash your dirty laundry in public- People, especially couples, who argue in front of others or involve others in their personal problems and crises, are said to be washing their dirty laundry in public; making public things that are best left private.Donkey work- Donkey work is any hard, boring work or task.Don’t throw bricks when you live in a glass house- Don’t call others out on actions that you, yourself do. Don’t be a hypocrite.E idiomsEntering the 80th orbit– celebrating the 80th birthdayEleventh hour decision– decision that is made at the last possible minuteEnd in smoke– to bear no resultEarthshattering– not at all surprisingEat humble pie– to apologize humblyEgg on your face- If someone has egg on their face; they are made to look foolish or embarrassedEye for an eye- This is an expression for retributive justice, where the punishment equals the crime.Eyes are bigger than one’s stomach- If someone’s eyes are bigger than their stomach, they are greedy and take on more than they can consume or manage.F idiomsFrom cradle to grave– during the whole span of your life.Face the music-to accept punishment for something you have done.Feel the pinch– to have problems with money.Fall on your own sword– to be cheated by someone you trust.Feather in one’s cap– something that you achieve and are proud of.Firing on all cylinders– work every possible way to succeed.French leave– absent without permission, to take French leave is to leave a gathering without saying goodbye or without permission.Fall on our feet- If you fall on your feet, you succeed in doing something where there was a risk of failure.Fall on your sword- If someone falls on their sword, they resign or accept the consequences of what they have done wrong.Fingers and thumbs- If you are all fingers and thumbs, you are being clumsy and not very skilled with your hands.Finger in the pie / skin in the game- If you have a finger in the pie, you have an interest in something.Flash in the pan- If something is a flash in the pan it is very noticeable but doesn’t last long, like most singers, who are very successful for a while, then forgotten.Follow your nose- When giving directions, telling someone to follow their nose means that they should go straight ahead.Fool’s paradise- A fool’s paradise is a false sense of happiness or success.Foot in mouth- This is used to describe someone who has just said something embarrassing, inappropriate, wrong or stupid.For a song- If you buy or sell something for a song, it is very cheapFor donkey’s years- If people have done something, usually without much if any change, for an awfully long time, they can be said to have done it for donkey’s yearsG idiomsGet off the hook– free from all obligationsGive up the ghost– to dieGot the slap on the wrist– got light punishmentGive someone a bird– make funGot the wind up– to be scaredGet a raw deal– not treated equallyGift of the gab– talent of speaking, if someone has the gift of the gab, they speak in a persuasive and interesting wayGive cold shoulder– to ignoreGet your wires crossed- If people get their wires cross, they misunderstand each other, especially when making arrangements.(‘Get your lines crossed’ is also used.)Give me five / high five- If someone says this, they want to hit your open hand against theirs as a way of congratulation or greetingGive me a hand- If someone gives you a hand, they help youGive someone a piece of your mind- If you give someone a piece of your mind, you criticize them strongly and angrily.Go bananas- If you go bananas, you are wild with excitement, anxiety, or worry.Go tell it to birds- This is used when someone says something that is not credible or is a lie.Go under the hammer- If something goes under the hammer, it is sold in an auction.Graveyard shift- If you have to work very late at night, it is the graveyard shift.Grease monkey- A grease monkey is an idiomatic term for a mechanic.H idiomsHave ants in your pants– not be able to keep still because you are very excited or worried about something.Having a whole/whale of a time– to enjoy very muchHold one’s horse– be patientHave a big mouth– one who gossips more or tells secretHimalayan blunder– a serious mistakeHave a one track mind– think only of one thingHave clean hands– be guiltlessHave an egg on the face– be embarrassedHeart missed a beat– very excitedHeart in the right place– good naturedHand to mouth- Someone who’s living from hand to mouth, is very poor and needs the little money they have coming in to cover their expensesHave no truck with / have no beef with- If you have no truck with something or someone, you refuse to get involved with it or them.Hit the bull’s-eye- If someone hits the bull’s-eye, they are exactly right about something or achieve the best result possible.Hold water (doesn’t) / Cuts no ice- When you say that something does or does not ‘hold water’, it means that the point of view or argument put forward is or is not sound, strong or logical. For e.g. ‘Saying we should increase our interest rates because everyone else is doing so will not hold water’Hornets’ nest- A hornets’ nest is a violent situation or one with a lot of dispute. (If you create the problem, you ‘stir up a hornets’ nest’.)I idiomsIn dribs and drabs– in small amounts at a timeIn black and white– to give in writingIn the blues– low spiritedIn cahoots with– in a partnership usually for a dishonest reasonIf the shoe fits, wear it- This is used to suggest that something that has been said might apply to a personIn droves- When things happen in droves, a lot happens at the same time or very quicklyIn the doghouse- If someone is in the doghouse, they are in disgrace and very unpopular at the moment.J idiomsJack Frost – If everything has frozen in winter, then Jack Frost has visited.Jack the Lad – A confident and not very serious young man who behaves as he wants to without thinking about other people is a Jack the Lad.Jack-of-all-trades– A jack-of-all-trades is someone that can do many different jobs.Jam on your face – If you say that someone has jam on their face, they appear to be caught, embarrassed or found guilty.Jam tomorrow – This idiom is used when people promise good things for the future that will never come.Jane Doe – Jane Doe is a name given to an unidentified female who may be party to legal proceedings, or to an unidentified person in hospital, or dead. John Doe is the male equivalent.Jekyll and Hyde – Someone who has a Jekyll and Hyde personality has a pleasant and a very unpleasant side to the character.Jersey justice – Jersey justice is very severe justice.Jet set – Very wealthy people who travel around the world to attend parties or functions are the jet set.Jet-black – To emphasise just how black something is, such as someone’s hair, we can call it jet-black.Job’s comforter – Someone who says they want to comfort, but actually discomforts people is a Job’s comforter.Jobs for the boys – Where people give jobs, contracts, etc, to their friends and associates, these are jobs for the boys.Jockey for position – If a number of people want the same opportunity and are struggling to emerge as the most likely candidate, they are jockeying for position.Jog my memory- If you jog someone’s memory, you say words that will help someone trying to remember a thought, event, word, phrase, experience, etc.John Doe- John Doe is a name given to an unidentified male who may be party to legal proceedings, or to an unidentified person in hospital, or dead. Jane Doe is the female equivalent.Joe Public – Joe Public is the typical, average person.Johnny on the spot – A person who is always available; ready, willing, and able to do what needs to be done.(‘Johnny-on-the-spot’ is also used.)Johnny-come-lately – A Johnny-come-lately is someone who has recently joined something or arrived somewhere, especially when they want to make changes that are not welcome.Join the club – Said when someone has expressed a desire or opinion, meaning “That viewpoint is not unique to you”. It can suggest that the speaker should stop complaining since many others are in the same position. Example: “If this train doesn’t come, I’ll be late for work!” “Join the club!”Joined at the hip – If people are joined at the hip, they are very closely connected and think the same way.Judge, jury and executioner – If someone is said to be the judge, jury, and executioner, it means they are in charge of every decision made, and they have the power to be rid of whomever they choose.Juggle frogs – If you are juggling frogs, you are trying to do something very difficult.Jump down someone’s throat – If you jump down someone’s throat, you criticise or chastise them severely.Jump ship – If you leave a company or institution for another because it is doing badly, you are jumping ship.Jump the broom – To jump the broom is to marry. (Jump over the broom, jump over the broomstick, jump the broomstick are also used.)Jump the gun – If you jump the gun, you start doing something before the appropriate time.Jump the track – Jumping the track is suddenly changing from one plan, activity, idea, etc, to another.Jump through hoops – If you are prepared to jump through hoops for someone, you are prepared to make great efforts and sacrifices for them.Jump to a conclusion – If someone jumps to a conclusion, they evaluate or judge something without a sufficient examination of the facts.Jumping Judas! – An expression of surprise or shock.Jungle out there – If someone says that it is a jungle out there, they mean that the situation is dangerous and there are no rules.Jury’s out – If the jury’s out on an issue, then there is no general agreement or consensus on it.Just around the corner- If something is just around the corner, then it is expected to happen very soon.Just coming up to – If the time is just coming up to nine o’clock, it means that it will be nine o’clock in a very few seconds. You’ll hear them say it on the radio in the morning.Just deserts – If a bad or evil person gets their just deserts, they get the punishment or suffer the misfortune that it is felt they deserve.Just for the heck of it – When someone does something just for the heck of it, they do it without a good reason.Just for the record – If something is said to be just for the record, the person is saying it so that people know but does not necessarily agree with or support it.Just in the nick of time – If you do something in the nick of time, you just manage to do it just in time, with seconds to spare.Just off the boat – If someone is just off the boat, they are naive and inexperienced.Just what the doctor ordered – If something’s just what the doctor ordered, it is precisely what is needed.Justice is blind – Justice is blind means that justice is impartial and objective.K idiomsKick up a row– to start a fight, to create disturbanceKeep ones eye on the ball– be ready for somethingKangaroo court- When people take the law into their own hands and form courts that are not legal, these are known as kangaroo courtKeep body and soul together- If you earn enough to cover your basic expenses, but nothing more than that, you earn enough to keep body and soul together.Keep your eye on the ball- If you keep your eye on the ball, you stay alert and pay close attention to what is happeningKnow which way the wind blows- This means that you should know how things are developing and be prepared for the future.L idiomsLoaves and fishes– done for material benefitsLike a shag on a rock– completely alone.Let someone slide– neglect somethingLet nature take its course– to allow someone to live or die naturally.Like a sitting duck– totally unawareLion’s share– a major shareLeft to your own devices- If someone is left to their own devices, they are not controlled and can do whatever they wantM idiomsMake castles in the air– plans or hopes that have very little chances of happening.Make a bee line for– to go directly towards something.Make ones bed and lie on it– to be responsible for what you have done and accept the resultsMeet ones waterloo– meet ones final endMonkey around– to waste time here and thereMy hands are full– I am busyMake a dry face– show disappointmentMake a monkey of someone- If you make a monkey of someone, you make them look foolishMan of his word- A man of his word is a person who does what he says and keeps his PromisesMany moons ago- A very long time agoN idiomsNobody’s fool– one who can take care of himselfnot having a leg to stand for– not having proofNever-never land– ideal best place.No love lost between– dislikeNeedle in a haystack- If trying to find something is like looking for a needle in a haystack, it means that it is very difficult, if not impossible to find among everything around itNew brush sweeps clean- ‘A new brush sweeps clean’ means that someone with a new perspective can make great changes. However, the full version is ‘a new brush sweeps clean, but an old brush knows the corners’, which warns that experience is also a valuable thingNo smoke without fire- This idiom means that when people suspect something, there is normally a good reason for the suspicion, even if there is no concrete evidence. (‘Where’s there’s smoke, there’s fire’ is also used.)O idiomsOpen Pandora’s box– to discover more problemsOver the moon– being too happyOn its last legs– in a bad condition and will not last longOld flames die hard- It’s very difficult to forget old thingsOn pins and needles- If you are on pins and needles, you are very worried about somethingOn the carpet- When you are called to the bosses office (since supposedly, they are the only ones who have carpet) and its definitely not for a good reason, i.e., you are in trouble, something has not gone according to plan and either maybe you are responsible and/or have some explaining to doOn the hook- If someone is on the hook, they are responsible for something.Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches- This means that it’s hard to know how much someone else is suffering.P idiomsPass muster– to be approvedPick someone to pieces– to criticize sharplyPaper over the cracks– to try to hide somethingPull up the socks– do things in the right manner and correctlyParrot fashion- If you learn something parrots fashion; you learn it word for wordPay on the nail- If you pay on the nail, you pay promptly in cashPen is mightier than the sword- The idiom ‘the pen is mightier than the sword’ means that words and communication are more powerful than wars and fightingPick someone’s brains- If you pick someone’s brains, you ask them for advice, suggestions and information about something they know aboutPieces of the same cake- Pieces of the same cake are things that have the same characteristics or qualitiesPlay fast and loose- If people play fast and loose, they behave in an irresponsible way and don’t respect rules, etc.Poker face- Someone with a poker face doesn’t show any emotion or reaction so that people don’t know what they are feelingQ idiomsQuarrel with bread and butter- Bread and butter, here, indicate the means of one’s living. If a sub-ordinate in an organization is quarrelsome or if he is not patient enough to bear the reprimand he deserves, gets angry and retorts or provokes the higher-up, the top man dismisses him from the job. So, he loses the job that gave him bread and butter. Hence we say, he quarreled with bread and butter (manager or the top man) and lost his jobQuiet as a cat- If somebody is as quiet as a cat they make as little noise as possible and try to be unnoticeableQuiet as a mouse- If someone’s as quiet as a mouse, they make absolutely no noiseQueer fish- A strange person is a queer fishR idiomsRound the twist– go crazyRead between the lines- read hidden meaningsRack and ruin- If something or someone goes to rack and ruin, they are utterly destroyed or wreckedRain on your parade- If someone rains on your parade, they ruin your pleasure or your plansRake someone over the coals- If you rake someone over the coals, you criticize or scold them severelyRecipe for disaster- A recipe for disaster is a mixture of people and events that could only possibly result in troubleRed carpet- If you give someone the red-carpet treatment, you give them a special welcome to show that you think they are importantRed herring- If something is a distraction from the real issues, it is a red herringRed letter day- A red letter day is a one of good luck, when something special happens to youReduce to ashes- If something is reduced to ashes, it is destroyed or made useless. His infidelities reduced their relationship to ashesRound the houses- If you go round the houses, you do something in an inefficient way when there is a quicker, more convenient wayRub shoulders- If you rub shoulders with people, you meet and spend time with them, especially when they are powerful or famousRun into the sand / ground- If something runs into the sand, it fails to achieve a resultS idiomsSalt on the earth– fundamentally good peopleSands of time– tiny amounts of timeShake a leg– to go fast, hurry / danceSpill the beans– to expose a secretSnake in the grass– a hidden armySnake in the shoes– to be in a state of fearStood to his guns– maintained to his opinionshowing the door– asking someone to leaveSong and a dance- an excuseSalad days- Your salad days are an especially happy period of your lifeSail under false colours- Someone who sails under false colours is hypocritical or pretends to be something they aren’t in order to deceive peopleT idiomsThreaded his way out– walked carefully through.Take the cloth– to become a priest.Talk turkey– to discuss a problem with a real intension to solve it.Tit for tat– an action done to revenge against a person who has done some wrong to youTo crow over– to triumph over someoneTo blow a fuse– to turn someone angryThrough thick and thin– under all conditionsTo bell the cat– to take great risksTo look through coloured glasses– to look the things not as they areTaking to a brick wall– taking with a no responseTurned a deaf ear– disregardedTake a back seat– choose to decrease involvementTables are turned- When the tables are turned, the situation has changed giving the advantage to the party who had previously been at a disadvantageTake someone under your wing- If you take someone under your wing, you look after them while they are learning something/ ShaagirdTake your medicine- you accept the consequences of something you have done wrongTalking to a brick wall- If you talk to someone and they do not listen to you, it is like talking to a brick wallTaste of your own medicine- If you give someone a taste of their own medicine, you do something bad to someone that they have done to you to teach them a lessonThe apple does not fall far from the tree- Offspring grow up to be like their parentsThrough thick and thin- through everything, during good times and badU idiomsUpset the apple cart– to create difficultyUnder a cloud– If someone is suspected of having done something wrong, they are under a cloudUnder fire– attacked and criticized heavilyUnder your nose– If something happens right in front of you, especially if it is surprising or audacious, it happens under your noseUp for grabs– If something is up for grabs, it is available and whoever is first or is successful will get itUp to the neck– If someone’s in something up to the neck, they are very involved in it, especially when it’s something wrongUp a river without a paddle– If you up a river without a paddle, you are in an unfortunate situation, unprepared and with none of the resources to remedy the matterUncharted waters- If you’re in uncharted waters, you are in a situation that is unfamiliar to you, that you have no experience of and don’t know what might happenUnder lock and key- If something is under lock and key, it is stored very securelyV idiomsVale of tears- This vale of tears is the world and the suffering that life brings.Velvet glove – a person who appears gentle, but is determined and inflexible underneath. (‘Iron fist in a velvet glove’ is the full form.)Vent your spleen – If someone vents their spleen, they release all their anger about something.Vicar of Bray – A person who changes their beliefs and principles to stay popular with people above them is a Vicar of BrayVicious circle – A vicious circle is a sequence of events that make each other worse- someone drinks because they are unhappy at work, then loses their job… ‘Vicious cycle’ is also used.Virgin territory – If something is virgin territory, it hasn’t been explored before.Voice in the wilderness – Someone who expresses an opinion that no one believes or listens to is a voice in the wilderness, especially if proved right later.Volte-face – If you do a volte-face on something, you make a sudden and complete change in your stance or position over an issue.Vultures are circling – If the vultures are circling, then something is in danger and its enemies are getting ready for the kill.W idiomsWeight one’s word– be careful to what one saysWait for a raindrop in the drought- When someone is waiting for a raindrop in the drought, they are waiting or hoping for something that is extremely unlikely to happenWalking on broken glass- When a person is punished for somethingWet behind the ears- Someone who is wet behind the ears is either very young or inexperiencedWhale of a time- If you have a whale of a time, you really enjoy yourselfWork your fingers to the bone- work extremely hard on somethingWrench in the works- If someone puts or throws a wrench, or monkey wrench, in the works, they ruin a planX idiomsX factor – The dangers for people in the military that civilians do not face, for which they receive payment, are known as the X factor.X marks the spot – This is used to say where something is located or hidden.Y idiomsYank my chain – If some one says this to another person (i.e. stop yanking my chain) it means for the other person to leave the person who said it alone and to stop bothering them.Yell bloody murder – If someone yells bloody murder, they protest angrily and loudly, or scream in fear.Yellow press – The yellow press is a term for the popular and sensationalist newspapers.Yellow streak– If someone has a yellow streak, they are cowardly about something.Yellow-bellied – A yellow-bellied person is a coward.Yen – If you have a yen to do something, you have a desire to do it.Yeoman’s service – To do yeoman’s service is to serve in an exemplary manner.Yes-man – Someone who always agrees with people in authority is a yes-man.Yesterday’s man or Yesterday’s woman – Someone, especially a politician or celebrity, whose career is over or on the decline is yesterday’s man or woman.You are what you eat – This is used to emphasise the importance of a good diet as a key to good health.You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar – This means that it is easier to persuade people if you use polite arguments and flattery than if you are confrontational.You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family – Some things you can choose, but others you cannot, so you have to try to make the best of what you have where you have no choice.You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink – This idiom means you can offer something to someone, like good advice, but you cannot make them take it.You can say that again – If you want to agree strongly with what someone has said, you can say ‘You can say that again’ as a way of doing so.You can’t fight City Hall – This phrase is used when one is so cynical that one doesn’t think one can change their Representatives. The phrase must have started with frustration towards a local body of government.You can’t have your cake and eat it – This idiom means that you can’t have things both ways. For example, you can’t have very low taxes and a high standard of state care.You can’t hide elephants in mouse holes – means that some issues/problems/challenges cannot be hidden/concealed but have to be faced and dealt with.You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear – If something isn’t very good to start with, you can’t do much to improve it.You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs – This idiom means that in order to achieve something or make progress, there are often losers in the process.You can’t take it with you – Enjoy life, enjoy what you have and don’t worry about not having a lot, especially money…because once you’re dead, ‘you can’t take it with you.’ For some, it means to use up all you have before you die because it’s no use to you afterwards.You can’t teach an old dog new tricks – It is difficult to make someone change the way they do something when they have been doing it the same way for a long timeYou can’t un-ring a bell – This means that once something has been done, you have to live with the consequences as it can’t be undone.You could have knocked me down with a feather – This idiom is used to mean that the person was very shocked or surprised.You do not get a dog and bark yourself – If there is someone in a lower position who can or should do a task, then you shouldn’t do it.You get what you pay for – Something that is very low in price is not usually of very good quality.You reap what you sow – This means that if you do bad things to people, bad things will happen to you, or good things if you do good things. It is normally used when someone has done something bad.You said it!- Used to say you agree completely with something just said.You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours – This idiom means that if you do something for me, I’ll return the favour.You what? – This is a very colloquial way of expressing surprise or disbelief at something you have heard. It can also be used to ask someone to say something again.You’re toast – If someone tells you that you are toast, you are in a lot of trouble.You’ve got rocks in your head – Someone who has acted with a lack of intelligence has rocks in their head.You’ve made your bed, you’ll have to lie in it – This means that someone will have to live with the consequences of their own actions.Young blood – Young people with new ideas and fresh approaches are young blood.Young Turk – A Young Turk is a young person who is rebellious and difficult to control in a company, team or organisation.Your belly button is bigger than your stomach – If your belly button is bigger than your stomach, you take on more responsibilities than you can handle.Your call – If something is your call, it is up to you to make a decision on the matter.Your name is mud – If someone’s name is mud, then they have a bad reputation.Your sins will find you out – This idiom means that things you do wrong will become known.Z idiomsZero hour- The time when something important is to begin is zero hour.Zero tolerance – If the police have a zero tolerance policy, they will not overlook any crime, no matter how small or trivial.Zigged before you zagged – If you did things in the wrong order, you zigged before you zagged.Zip it – This is used to tell someone to be quiet.Zip your lip – If someone tells you to zip your lip, they want to to shut up or keep quiet about something. (‘Zip it’ is also used.)