Cruise: Fill & Download for Free

I’d run into Dustin Hoffman occasionally on Central Park West when he had an apartment on New York’s Upper West Side in the 1970s.Mr. Hoffman is no more than 5’ 5” tall.Tom Cruise is perhaps an inch or so taller than Hoffman based on this photo from “Rainman”.

We don’t build Titanic-sized ships any more because Titanic is far, far too small to be a profitable cruise ship.Modern cruise ships are more than double the size of Titanic. There’s just no economic point in building a cruise ship as small as Titanic these days.

Sure. Here’s how my underage son managed to do it (without my knowledge or approval).Usually, when you board a cruise ship you arrive at your cabin before your luggage does. The first thing my wife and I do after boarding is find a bar and de-stress from the ordeal of checking in with a couple of drinks.However, my son and his friend are only twenty, so they’re not allowed to drink on board, which is a drag for them and seems kind of unfair since they’re legal in all the ports of call.Once the ship is underway and my wife and I are feeling nice and relaxed we head back to our cabins to change into our bathing suits. All our bags have been delivered to the cabins… except my son's. Instead, there’s a note on the bed with instructions for him to claim his luggage at the ship’s security area.My wife and I and even the porters are having a good laugh at my son’s expense, because obviously he’s been busted for trying to smuggle alcoholic beverages on board the ship.We arrive at security to claim his bags and there’s a line of sheepish looking guys opening up their bags for the ship’s officers and pulling out bottles of liquor, wine and beer.You will never see a more gloomy sight on any cruise ship as this room at the start of the cruise when security confiscates all the booze they’ve detected with their x-ray scanners.When it comes my son’s turn to open up his bag, he’s as relaxed and happy as can be. The officer instructs him to remove the large bottle of liquid in his bag.“You mean this?” and he pulls out a liter bottle of Scope mouthwash.The officer looks at it and says, “Alright, you can go.”I’m thinking WTF? Who goes on vacation with a liter of mouthwash?Of course, it’s really vodka dyed with green food coloring. My son must have found a recipe online, because it looked exactly like the real thing.I still can’t believe the officer let it pass. Maybe he was tired or feeling generous, or was secretly impressed with my son’s ingenuity, or didn’t care.I probably should have done the responsible thing as a parent and turned him in. But at the prices they charge for drinks on board I knew I didn’t want my son and his friend bugging us to sneak them drinks the entire cruise.