Weekly Schedule Form 2013 Week Of - Where Children Grow: Fill & Download for Free

I was actually in bed and got out of bed to reply to this question. First of all, grief over the loss of a pet is very real and for some people, myself included, the grief can be worse than losing a human friend or relative.I don’t know where you are located, but if it’s in or near a big city, many hospice organizations have pet bereavement support groups. If you don’t live in or near a big city, then there are some online pet bereavement support groups, and I recommend you seek some solace in the company of others who understand and feel your pain. There is an Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement, and there are also several Facebook groups that you could become a part of. Also, a good source of information is a local dog rescue. They may be able to give you some information about resources available.Mainly, the point I’m trying to make is that you should not feel alone. If people that you know are not compassionate about your grief, then stay away from them. If you don’t want to meet with people in a group, then don’t hesitate to seek professional help privately. The first few weeks will be the worst.Grief is a process. You don’t suffer for two weeks and then wake up fine. It takes a long time. It’s painful and your recovery from the death of your beloved dog will not be a linear one, but one filled with ups and downs. The good news is that you will recover. You may not feel that way now, but in time you will learn to cope.When my dog died, I called a caterer and picked up prepared meals for several days for myself and my husband. I knew that I would be incapable of cooking. I told the caterer that we had had a “death in the family” and didn’t want to have to worry about cooking.So, in the short-term, I would try to connect with some others who understand what you’re going through. Be kind to yourself, and be patient.Some people will suggest getting another dog right away. For some people that is a good answer but not for everyone. I was not ready for another dog for several months, and I knew it. What I did start doing which helped was volunteering in dog rescue. I like to think that my gentlemanly dog would have wanted me to help other dogs, and that’s why I still do that four years later.One of the most painful things for me was watching how our remaining resident dog coped with the loss. For months she seemed disoriented and depressed and she searched for her brother everywhere. If I returned from food shopping, she was very excited to see not *me* but the car because she thought I was bringing back her brother, her dog manager, her friend. She searched the car relentlessly after any outing. That really tore at my heart.I wrote an obituary for my dog when he died and posted it on Facebook. I said at the beginning of that post that if anyone was not sympathetic to the loss of a pet, to please click away. I was actually surprised at how many nice comments people made. A few years later, I had an artist friend do a portrait of him which hangs in my front room.I am including this obituary appended to this answer, to show you that the grief you are feeling is real, and you are not alone. My dog died four years ago, and I sometimes still get choked up about it. I’m not consumed by it anymore, though, and one day you, too, will live again. I offer my sincerest condolences.“Thibault Grillot White (May 1, 2002- May 21, 2013)I am very sad to announce the death of my beloved French Bulldog, Thibault (pronounced T-bo) AKA Teebs or T or Mr. T., at the age of 11 after a courageous battle with a long illness. Thibault was the great dog-love of my life.He was from Cold Lake, Alberta, the son of a Grand Champion. He was always a big boy and too large for the show standard. He did, however, pass all the tests to become a therapy dog. In fact, he slept and snored in my arms through most of the interview process, which apparently was a plus. I withdrew him from the program because of his health.Thibault distinguished himself in puppy school by being the only dog who regularly fell asleep during the lesson. While other puppies were pulling on their leashes and doing back flips to interact with other dogs, Thibault would fall asleep on the mat if the instructor droned on too long.One of my dear friends used to refer to Thibault as, “the dog that could do no wrong.” However, that was incorrect, and he did plenty of “wrong” things. He once bit my son (although I swear it wasn’t Thibault’s fault), and he regularly dug around in the fireplace and spread ashes and charcoal all over the family room rug. When I would come into the room, Thibault, covered with ash, would look at his dog-sister as if to say, “she did it.”He was the quintessential gentleman dog, quiet, and well-mannered. For all of his 11 years, he never left my side. He slept on the foot of the bed, ate neatly off of my fork or spoon (to the horror of my friends), and loved to steal an opportunity to roll around in fresh, clean, warm laundry. When I was prostrate following surgery or after I broke my back, he was right there next to me. If I was gardening, he was next to me on a soft blanket in the shade. He watched my children grow up and was with me as they went away to school and left home. Toward the end of his life, when he could no longer walk up or down stairs, we carried him. My son once commented that if he is reincarnated, he would like to come back as my dog.Guests at the home were always immediately greeted with a toy or shoe or whatever was close by as a peace offering. His favourite toy was a plush purple octopus. He had his octopus for all of his 11 years, slept with it, and frequently groomed it as an animal will groom another. When I had to wash the octopus, Thibault waited patiently by the laundry room until his pal was dry.Unfortunately, his breeders were inexperienced, and he was plagued with health problems his whole life. Some of them were commonplace and some of them rare. I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard a vet say, "you know, I've never seen this before." or "I've only seen this once in 20 years of practice." In spite of frequent visits to the vet, he always loved going to see his doctors and made friends in every clinic, stoically enduring whatever test or procedure or surgery was required. My husband once commented that "the highest paid investment bankers on Wall Street don't have health coverage like Thibault". By the age of four, he was the only surviving dog of his litter.Thibault is survived by his little female French Bulldog step-sister, Paris, his human brother and sister, David and Rachel Grillot, his step-father, Brian White, and me, his mom.I am eternally grateful to several people who went way above and beyond to look after Thibault. When I worked bankers' hours, Wendy McAlister of Calgary came to my house once or twice during the work day, every day, to make sure Thibault was okay. Dr. Laurie Milne from the Landing Animal Clinic in Calgary was wonderful and even offered to take Thibault home with her if I had to go out of town. The vets and staff at the CARE Centre Animal Hospital in Calgary are great. He had emergency surgery and spent several days in Intensive Care there and was treated with the utmost care and affection. Dr. Kathryn Mitchell-Poirier at the Fraser Heights Animal Hospital in Surrey, BC, was wonderful to Thibault and to me and also offered to take Thibault home with her if I had to go away. Lastly Dr. Elmer Phillipson, Carrie, Maria, Marianne, Melanie and staff at the Comox Valley Animal Hospital were and are the best. They always immediately fit Thibault into the schedule if I called with a problem. When we moved to Vancouver Island, Dr. Phillipson agreed to take Thibault as his patient knowing that Thibault's medical file was as thick as the yellow pages and that the case would test all of his skills and experience.I am most indebted to Dr. Faye Briggs, from CVAH, who took care of Thibault during the last years of his life and never seemed to mind when I cried in her office. Dr. Faye saw Thibault weekly as his health deteriorated, and she adjusted his medication frequently to give him the best quality of life possible. At the end, Faye saw Tbo daily and was always available to see Tbo and talk to me after hours. Thanks, Faye.So with a heavy heart, I have to say goodbye to my fur-child. Rest in peace on the other side of the rainbow bridge, my handsome prince, my love muffin. When my time here is done, I will come to you, and we will be together permanently. Relax in the shade with a big bowl of water until I get there.If anyone feels inclined, please make a small donation to a dog rescue organization of your choice.”

I'm sorry about this answer's length. It takes a bit of splainin'.I'm not one for swapping one addiction for another, but I've detoxed several time over the ten years that I was addicted to opiates and the best recommendation I can make is a plant from South East Asia called Mitragyna speciosa or more commonly known by the name Kratom. Kratom is a plant related to the coffee tree and it's currently the only form of analgesia that I'm using.As a way of an introduction, at the end of my addiction I was taking 400 mg of Oxycontin (Five 80 mg tabs a day, 2 tabs q AM, 2 tabs H.S. and one tab at around 1500 - 1600 just 'cause). I also had a script for 10 mg Percocets q6° daily for "breakthrough pain". I'm a real big guy, I'm telling you (6'4", 300 lbs). I was a real life House except that I gave up practicing medicine because of my disability.As stated above, I've detoxed several times over my ten year odyssey, and on my last time I didn't know about Kratom at the time. I was doing a down and dirty home detox. I can imagine it would have been much easier had I know about it earlier, but I have to say, I'm absolutely convinced it would have been easier to kick the monkey offin my back had I'd learned about Kratom earlier.You can look up Kratom on Wikipedia for Mitragyna speciosa. And, even though I haven't read it for some time, what I imagine you'll find there will be some of the propaganda of the people who see Kratom as evil, promote. One of the top half-truths you'll find is the factoid that many of the Governments in South-East Asia, where Kratom is indigenous, have made it illegal. I suppose the unstated impression they're trying to make is that if they make it illegal where it grows, then maybe, just maybe, they know something about it that we here (U.S. of A) don't. Perhaps they do.For those of you who didn't grow up during the Vietnam war, there's a thriving, and lucrative business in the production Heroin in S.E. Asia (ask a Vietnam vet/someone from Connecticut). These governments relented to the warlords who produce Heroin because people there were using it to end their opiate addiction. They outlawed it because it was bad for business. And if you can't trust a warlord who's made a career out of producing an addictive poison that causing nothing but pain and suffering, then who's judgement can you trust. Kinda like trusting the Koch brothers on global warming; bad for business.I learned about Kratom about three weeks into my last (and final) detox. I found out about it because of seeing a random Tweet issued by Scientific American (a magazine, ask a Vietnam vet about magazines). For me, Scientific American is the single best science magazine for the pedestrian scientist. It's been in publication for over 150 years. My father passed along his appreciation for S.A. to me and I've been reading since I was 8 y/o. I have the utmost respect for S.A., and the Tweet was, and I'm paraphrasing here (it's been since September of 2013 since I read it), 'imagine a plant that eases pain and helps free people from the addiction to opiates'. Because I was still in the later throws of detoxification, I was intrigued.The uptake of the article the Tweet directed me to was that the FDA was looking askance at this wonder drug that works wonders. All they see is the possibility of abuse, but I've treated people in the E.R. who were abusing Ibuprofen (occult fever of unknown origin, bit of an oxymoron there), aspirin, NyQuil, Sildenafil (soon to be generic, oh boy), ethanol. All things that I've seen abused over the years. The upshot of the S.A. article was that they were urging the FDA to slow their roll and not reflexively banning Kratom like they did with, oh, say Cannabis. S.A. was afraid that the FDA would make Kratom a schedule one narcotic like, oh, say Cannabis, thus cutting off much needed research money into it's potentially beneficial uses.We aren't talking about High Times here. We're talking about a venerable and respected publication who has a reputation to uphold. I figured WTF, and did my due diligence and researched the subject. Up front, yes, you can abuse Kratom. S.A. presented the case study of a mechanical engineer who was addicted to opiates (along with several other medications, ain't that always the way) and when his doctor cut off the spigot to his opiates (because, like me, he couldn't make the scripts last for the 30 days they were suppose to), he had to find something different. He looked on line and discovered Kratom. He found a place on line to buy it, and he was off to the races.What he noticed was that in addition to helping him with his withdrawal symptoms he also found that it was helped him get more of his engineering work done. He could concentrate better and longer on his projects. He also found that he was communicating with his wife more, and better. Well, evidently he figured that if a little bit was good, then a lot must be better. Eventually he looked into ways to potentiate the Kratom (make stronger, like Percs. and liquor, Vicodin and Tequila, weed and doughnuts, well, not that last one). These techniques are available on line too, but I personally wouldn't recommend it, so I won't mention them here.Eventually he ended up convulsing and had to be treated in the emergency department. He went cold turkey off the Kratom, and the only symptom of withdrawing from Kratom he noticed was a runny nose. I feel the need to point out that this this gentleman seemed to have a polydrug addiction problem before he ever tried any Kratom.Kratom can be made into a tea (but I think it tastes nasty, but to each their own). I personally grind loose leaves into a powder and put it into capsules and take it with hot coffee. Kind of like making my tea in my stomach. From my perspective, it works great for my pain. Unlike Oxycontin, I've never habituated to it. After I found my personal dosage through trial and error, my withdrawal symptoms all but vanished (remember I had been off Oxy for some three weeks at that point). It worked so well, that I was able to attend the KC Royals last home baseball game of the season (2013), three weeks into my detox.Look, I don't feel that good recommending something that hasn't gone through the rigorous medical testing process. Although, we hear about new drugs that have passed the FDA process that were very quickly found to have adverse side affects serious enough to later necessitate withdrawing it from the market. (I could write a whole article like this just on that subject alone.) I would suggest, if you're thinking about trying it, do your homework. Start with Wikipedia, and go from there.When you order it, if you're going to drink it as tea, get the loose leaf. Don't try and make tea out of the preground Kratom unless you know something I don't. I use a combination of a species known as Bali, or commercial Bali, with an equal amount of a variety from Thailand known as Maeng Da. The Maeng Da tends to be a little more uplifting, and the Bali a little better at pain relief. These both are available on every site selling Kratom that I've seen as well as several other sub-species (white vein, red vein, etc). These are just the two that I use. There are extracts, pre-made capsules, etc, etc. Use caution starting out.I would personally start out with a low dose. I take 15, size 00-size capsules (capsules available where most Kratom products are sold, or GNC, or other "health food" stores). Most of the time I do this once in the morning and again around 1530, but I caution, I'm a really big guy (see above). We're talking NFL lineman type big, so plan accordingly. I adjust the dosage to fit the amount of activity I'm planning to doing, but I warn you, you can overdo it. I've come to calling it, the Kratom buzz, BUT, it's not that much worse than drinking too much coffee. Way too much maybe. I don't recommend trying to potentiate this "drug" and I've heard that it has some unpleasant side effects when combined with opiates, particularly when combined with alcohol, but what medication can't you say that about. It's not a problem for me, but only you know you.I've had people look at me funny when I've suggested this particular herb to them. What I've started telling them is "This isn't like Amway here. I don't get a cut from the profits. I'm not making any money off of this plant. I don't work for the Kratom Industrial Complex." I'm just trying to uphold the Hippocratic Oath." I may be missing the mark on the first line of that oath, but I feel like I'm dead on with the rest of them. Even that first line, I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow, I feel like the FDA, DEA and Big Pharma violated that part of the oath in their secular pursuit of the almighty dollar. As far as the part of the oath, Primum non nocere, or First do no harm, piece of trivia here, it isn't part of that oath, but it probably should be.If you're reading this, I'm telling you, unequivocally, that modern medicine has no, and I mean NO solution to offer the patient with long term pain problems. Unless it can be alleviated with surgery, then you, my friend, are S.O.L. Just to compare the drug Ventolin (Albuterol), to opiates; Albuterol is an epinephrine analog that's a common β2 adrenergic drug used for the treatment of asthma. It has decreased efficacy the more you take it. Eventually you get to the point where it no longer works for bronchodilation. Unfortunately, the heart stimulating effects work just fine. Many of the deaths I've seen for acute status asthmaticus in teenagers were all because they ran out of their Ventolin and went to the drug store and bought a puffer of Primatine mist which contains Bronchosol. A bronchodilator which is a much stronger heart stimulant than Albuterol. And now you can get Primatine Mist with all new Adrenalin, and we all know that epinephrine doesn't have any heart stimulating effects. It's even worse than Bronchosol. Do no harm? These kids ended up dying of a heart attack because they had the temerity to want to breath and they didn't have prescription insurance. It's no different with opiates, it's just that Albuterol doesn't have the same social stigma (or scrutiny by the government).Opiates work for a while, but like every other habituating drug, you'll need to take more of it, and the longer you take it, the less effective it will be, so the more you need to take. Eventually opiates potentiate (remember that word from earlier) your pain... greatly. Therefore you'll need to take more, just to get the half the same effect.Next thing you know, you'll be sitting in the office of your doctor with them haughtily telling you that "You're Fired!" And good luck finding another candyman to put his or her DEA number on the line to make sure you get your fix. And I guarantee that's exactly how he/she will do it, and they'll do it with the straight face of someone who truly feels that they had absolutely and totally nothing to do with the situation that you find yourself in right now. That's a YOU problem, not a ME problem. Why every physician with a prescription pad out there knows that opiate addiction is a case of willful misconduct, rather than seeing it for the inevitable result of prescribing high dosage opiates for the long term use in pain control. They should know better, but I'm a doctor and I didn't. I just got tired of being addicted to this legal Heroin. It didn't work anymore, I still felt like shit, so I figured I might as well have crippling pain w/o the extra shame and cost of being an opiate addict.Now for the disclaimers:**DO NOT TAKE KRATOM IF YOU ARE TAKING A MAO INHIBITING DRUG.** Examples of MAOI's would be, but not limited to Selegiline, Phenelzine, Tranylcypromine, Isocarboxazid, Rasagiline, Selegiline hydrochloride, Phenelzine Sulfate, Rasagiline mesylate, Tranylcypromine sulfate. MAOI's are generally used for the treatment of atypical chronic depression that's refractory to other forms of treatment, or Parkinson's disease. Then again, if you're taking a MAOI then you'd probably know it because MAOI's react with LOTS and LOTS of medications.I also wouldn't recommend it to individuals with renal disease or hepatic dysfunction. There are, rare, instances of acute liver injury with chronic use. Onset of injury is usually within 2 to 8 weeks of starting regular use of Kratom, with symptoms of fatigue, nausea, pruritus (itching), and dark urine followed by jaundice (yellowing of the skin or sclera of the eye). The pattern of liver injury is typically cholestatic (gallbladder) and can be severe with serum bilirubin levels rising above 20 mg/dL. And there's been ONE documented case where Acute Kratom Toxicity was determined medically to be the cause of death of a teenager That's just doctorese for saying, BE CAREFUL! I've been using it since September of 2013 (it's March 2016 now). I get my Liver Enzymes checked four times a year (not for Kratom, but...) and my levels have been well within normal that entire time.Look, I'll tell you something that a lot of your physicians often won't explain to you, and that is that Medicine is a big Crap Shoot. You're always playing the odds. If drug A will help your heart, but might cause liver failure, you need to take a cold hard look at how bad you think you need it. If there's a 95% chance that it'll help your heart, but a 5% chance you'll wreck your liver in the process, then you've got a decision to make. If you have an 85% chance of being cured of your cancer with just radiation, but a 90% chance if you use radiation AND chemotherapy, you've got a decision to make. Personally I wouldn't take the present assortment of rat poisons they call chemotherapeutic drugs for 5%, but I'm also not in my 30's with small children anymore.Good Luck. If you have some specific questions, I might be able to help. I will if I can. Minimally addictive, good pain control, little to no habituation (at least none that I've noticed over the last 2 1/2 years), helps with the pain of withdrawal from opiates, what's not to like. If you want to make millions of dollars, devise a way to turn the active ingredient of Kratom into an actual usable clinical medicine. If it does have addictive properties, I haven't seen it yet, and I've been takin' me some Kratom over the years. I know Dr. Phill doesn't have a very high opinion of it, and I take me all of my medical advice from Dr. McGraw. Well, I would if he only had a license to practice anymore.BTW, don't ask me about Ibogaine (Tabernanthe iboga root, or 12-methoxyibogamine). Although I hear very good things about it in reference to opiate as well as cocaine addiction, 1) I've never tried it, B) It's evidently a strong Psychedelic, and III) It's a Schedule I narcotic and is indigenous to Western Africa, so it doesn't grow naturally in Europe or the U.S. so good luck even finding it. The Silk Road might have it, but you're on your own there. I don't go anywhere near the Dark Web. Tribes in Africa use it for rite of passage ceremonies for men, so make of that what you will. Evidently its a 12 to 14 hour trip that goes through a fairly predictable 3 phase effect. Even though it works after one treatment (overnight), I'd rather take my chances with Kratom. Last I heard, there were "clinics" in Canada and the Caribbean that offered Ibogaine therapy for drug addiction. Plus, you're already taking poison (opiates). It's just a matter of which poison you want to take. I'm just telling you my story. Make what you will of it.For the time being, Kratom is legal. The DEA's official position on Kratom is:"There is NO legitimate medical use for Kratom in the U.S."So write to them and urge them to keep their big fat government hands off of it and do more research. Be careful. Proceed carefully. Proceed slowly. Start low and work your way up.(edited for typos, and grammar)

In September 2013, we had a baby boy. We had been married a little over a year at this point. The pregnancy was normal, birth went well, our son was fine after a brief stay in the NICU. We went on birth control for less than a month and then decided we’d be fine with more kids whenever they came. We expected more kids (I was thinking five or six).Growing up, I didn’t hear about miscarriages. My mom hadn’t had any and any other female relations didn’t talk about it if they did. Miscarriage wasn’t on my radar. Now, I have had two miscarriages. I’m in my mid-twenties, not overweight. I’ve never smoked, had alcohol, or used drugs. I don’t have any of the risk factors they print on flyers about miscarriage.The first was in June 2015. My normally clockwork period was a few days late, so I took a pregnancy test. Negative. Then my period came and lasted a few days longer than expected. I had some darker spotting on and off for about a week and then bright red spotting. The day before I went to the doctor, I had abdominal pain. Stay-in-bed kind of pain. My abdomen felt bloated. I went to see my general practitioner the next afternoon. They did a urine pregnancy test. I sat on the examining table and the doctor came back into the room. She sat down and looked me in the eye. “You tested positive for pregnancy,” she said. Then she continued, “You need to drive straight to the emergency room. Do you know how to get there?” I was reeling.I left the office and called my husband who was home with our sleeping almost-two-year-old. Crying from shock and fear, I asked him to find someone to stay with our son and to meet me at the hospital. I drove myself to the hospital. As it turns out, I had no idea where the ER was. Tears streaming down my face, I asked a security guard to point me in the right direction. He kindly led me through the halls. “Who are you here for?” he asked. “Me,” I hiccuped. He was so good to me, I hope I thanked him properly for his help. I don’t remember if I did. I checked in at the ER and sat in the waiting room. It was not empty, but mine was the next name called. My husband came in as I got an IV tube put in my arm. The lady who did this was also very kind. People are good, aren’t they?The next several hours included nurses, doctors, blood tests, lots of crying on my part, and an ultrasound. My husband, really awesome person that he is, stayed with me the whole time. He fed me ice chips and kept the warm blankets coming. We held hands a lot. At around 1 a.m., the gynecological surgeon on call came in. He was amazing. He explained that my hcg (pregnancy hormone) levels are in the 400s. At 8 weeks along, they should have been significantly higher (in the several thousands). The ultrasound showed liquid in my abdominal cavity. For the first time in my life, I heard the words “ectopic pregnancy.” A fertilized egg had implanted in the wall of my fallopian tube and continued to grow. The tube had ruptured and I was bleeding internally. So, the solution was laparoscopic surgery. Two small incisions. He would try to save the fallopian tube if possible, but it might not be possible.At 2 a.m. on June 23, 2015, I went into surgery to save my life. This also happened to be our third wedding anniversary. My husband told me that while I was coming out of anethesia, I was asking, “Where is my baby? Is my baby alright?” Recovery was hard and frustrating. I couldn’t lift. I laid in bed mostly. My wonderful aunts and my mother all traveled to stay with us and take care of me and my family. I grieved my child who never even had a heartbeat. I realized that I could have bled out and died. I didn’t know how to process this shock and loss. It felt like I was wrapped in cotton, everything was distant and dull. It felt like I couldn’t take a deep enough breath to get the weight off my chest. My husband was so thankful that I was alive. The loss of our baby didn’t register as heavily for him because he had been worrying about me whereas I had been worrying about our baby. I felt alone in my grief. Then women in my family and my neighborhood sent me flowers and care packages. Many told me about their own miscarriages. One woman brought me a book and my favorite dessert from a restaurant (sticky rice with mango, she’d asked my husband).Support from other women helped. Stories I’d read online helped. I realized that I was far from the only one who had gone through this hard experience. During this time, I don’t know what I would have done without my testimony of Jesus Christ and my trust in Heavenly Father’s plan for me. I believe in life after death and the glorious opportunity to be with my family forever. Those beliefs sustain me.After some time, I don’t know how much, I healed physically and emotionally. Those scars, physical and emotion, will always be there. But the gaping wounds have closed.Fast forward to November 2015 and I have a positive home pregnancy test. I cry with joy this time. Honestly, it concerned my toddler son that mom was acting so strangely. We go to the same doctor who did my surgery in the ER (did I mention he’s great?). Early ultrasound, measuring a little small and heartbeat a little slow, but in the right place. At the next ultrasound, we heard a perfect, precious heartbeat just as fast as it was supposed to. We were overjoyed. Nausea, bring it on. This was a good cause.We went out of town for a while and about a week before I came home, the nausea started going away. Alright, a little early for that but who am I to complain that I’m comfortable again? On January 28, 2016 the doctor couldn’t find a heartbeat. I heard the words, “missed miscarriage,” for the first time. I was told I could wait for my body to miscarry naturally, take a pill to induce miscarriage, or have a d&c. At my request, my husband took my son home. I cried in the car. The better ultrasound machine at the hospital showed my baby measuring at 7 weeks when we expected 14 weeks. No heartbeat.I filled the prescription for the pill to induce miscarriage. The pharmacist asked if I was pregnant because this medicine was known to cause miscarriage. I said I was pregnant and my baby had died, that’s why I was getting the medicine. It was less than four dollars for those pills. In a way, I wanted it to be more. My baby’s life was worth so much more. Once again, my mom flew to us. The pills made me bleed once, but then nothing else happened. A d&c was scheduled. That same doctor performed it. He assured me that it was not my fault. Nothing I did caused this to happen.The recovery was easy physically. I was sad. My husband grieved along with me this time. We had both been eagerly anticipating this baby. We explained to my son that his little baby brother or sister was in Heaven now. Our faith in family relationships continuing beyond the grave gives us peace even through the sorrow.Jump ahead to the beginning of March 2017 and another positive pregnancy test! Because of my history of ectopic pregnancy, I got blood tests which measure hcg levels. You usually take two or more (each a couple days apart) to make sure the levels are rising normally. The first level was in the 1000s. A couple days later, the second level was in the 4000s. Happy tears!The first ultrasound showed a baby in the right spot with a healthy heartbeat. More happy tears! This morning (April 21) the second ultrasound showed a beautiful profile, tiny foot, and amazing heartbeat. Eleven weeks along and everything looks great. Happy tears again. (I guess I cry a lot? Hormones and joy.)My son, who wears a dress-up cape many of his waking hours, told me a couple weeks ago, “Soon there will be two superheroes. One is in your tummy.” He is excited to be a big brother.I am relaxing and allowing myself to be excited. It’s easier to be cautious and not open up your heart. You don’t get hurt as much that way if something goes wrong. But, I think it is so much better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. (Quote not mine originally.) With children, I think the joy is worth the pain. So, here’s hoping for a baby to cuddle this winter. This precious baby who I already love.Nowadays, I talk about our miscarriages. It used to be hard for me to mention, but I strongly believe it should not be a taboo topic. For myself, I don’t want to pretend that they didn’t happen. Most importantly, I want other people who experience miscarriage to know that they are not alone. The grief is real.My husband and I go out (just the two of us) on February 2 and June 23 to commemorate and remember our babies. I think that’s a tradition we’ll continue.P.S. To help with morning sickness, ask your doctor about a 25mg B6 vitamin supplement. I didn’t know about them until this pregnancy. Magic, I’m telling you.