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Does anyone want to write their heart out here?
Well I have to do something about it, otherwise i would soon end up in depression. Here is my story….I used to think, I am the happiest person ever. Never fell prey to comparisons, I was content and happy with all i have. My happiness doubled when i fell in love with this girl who was my colleague in office, she is unexplainably cute just like my mom. I fell in love with everything she does , the way she used to look at me, the way she used to laugh. It all started when i was bedridden due to my surgery , i was feeling lowest in my life. Her chatter her innocent laugh used to sweep off all my pain, that is when i felt she is the one. I could go on all day talking to her.She belonged to an orthodox family who belived that, if two individuals has to get married they need to be of the same caste rather than they loving each other. Yes, you are right another victim of stupid casteism…I’m not exaggerating, but i was very famous from college, i was into sports and other commitees and i used to be Emcee in office too. I had quite number of proposals from girls decent enough to get settled. Although that does not mean i can get girls in a whisker nor I was a SRK, but, it took me really long to make her comfortable talking to me. She never came out for a bike ride or a movie . she used to be very reserved. I understood that until and unless i’m very sure that i’m going to give her commitment she is not for flings. I took time to think about and i was very sure, I told her that i wanted to marry her. She was shocked and confused. She did clearly explain me that if we are of same caste only then we can take it further, Here is stupid me, I didn’t care to ask my parents what caste i belong till then neither they cared to explain.eventually it turned out i belong to lower caste than to her’s. Here is where the agony started. She fell in love with me. I promised her “i will do all that i can to convince your parents, just because i love you i don’t want you to come with me leaving your parents” she loved her parents. But, I didn’t understand that the life will change for us :( from happiest couple to time where we hardly laugh in a day.She was asked to resign from job, Forgot tell you she used to tell me that i love my job more than you :( . From last 2 months or more she is in her home doing nothing other than crying, she tried all that she can to convince her parents. My parents agreed for it the moment i told them about it, Thankfully they initiated conversation with her father, initially he seems to supporting us but not sure what happened with him or people around has advised him, mine and my parents requests are rejected bluntly saying that caste is most important thing for anyone t get married and said this “IT environment you guys living in spoiling our minds and she should have never let her daughter to get into it in the first place” I was devastated. I told him that i can file affidavit to let go my caste and register my family with no caste(I enquired that is possible) and assured him his daughter and grandchildren(I know i’m stupid) will remain in same caste, But his answer is same, CASTE. I never felt this lost and heart broken. The trauma she is going through from last 2 months ,amount of agony we are going through, I wish i have never loved her or she never loved me back.Dear Uncle,I don’t blame you in my answer, I know the so called society you are worrying about never care if you are daughter will be happy or not in between the four walls, saddest part is you are not caring about your own daughter feelings for them . I know you still believe that we did a greatest mistake ever loving each other without worrying about caste, I bet we would have been perfect couple who would have lasted till our last breath. I never knew people should love only if they are of same caste and You seriously should teach this in schools for us not to be going through the trauma that we are going through right now.I am all feeling suicidal and heart broken i don’t know how to move on, we have imagined a beautiful life together . I only wish she will be happy with guy in the same CASTE,If she is not expect me at your doorstep seeking answers.Update : Well she gave up :( .What did we ask? we have just asked we want to be happy together, We just asked for their blessings, oh god. Never ever i’ve hated anyone thus far in this life, but now i do hate almost everyone and everything happening around me.A well respected father of a girl , who doesn’t really understand her own daughterA IITian brother who said Caste is most important factor for two people to get married, Please educate him.And rest of world of who still believe in “CASTE” , You are a mess :(.How tough is it to digest the fact that “You will never ever get to see the person you loved more than your life”Its been over a year , i have tried all the things i could to get over you Ma, tried falling in love(not sure if i can ever fall in love again),leaving this company where every inch reminds me of you, stopped going out to places that reminded you, absolutely nothing is working. What misery is this, what a life is this… Hope you are doing well.
What does it feel like to have your name constantly mispronounced?
We live in India where we believe in Unity in Diversity. Diversity everywhere. Languages, ideologies, dialects, accents, vocabulary and fucking pronunciation too!Parents named me: AAKRITI JHABorn in Bihar, biharis knew how to pronounce ‘JHA'.But then we shifted to Gujarat and since then there was no turning back and knowing my original name.Aakruti ZahaBecause in gujarati ‘Ri' is pronounced as ‘Ru’ and there's no letter in Gujarati pronouncing Jha as it is. They pronounce it as ‘Za’ only.Then I had an innovative friend of mine who was so obsessed with ‘1st', be it ranking or vowel, out of a, i & u he chose a, and hence invented the following:Aakrati ZaThen my cousin sister born and brought up in UK brought up:Aakhrity JhaThat's what they mentioned in their application for leave in their school to come to India. (In the application the reason for leave being my marriage to some Arjun. I am still finding my husband.)Then a hasty organiser committee member of my college fest, awarded me with a certificate having the following spelling:Aakrarti ZhaThen as a teen when I knew nothing about facebook, a friend of mine made an account for me and the profile name being:Akkriti ZzhaIn school there was a heavy conflict about the spelling and the principal compelled us to get an affidavit for replacing ‘u' with ‘i' in Aakriti which was the original name mispelt by them as Aakruti. (She wasn't even a Gujarati.)So, AAKRUTI JHA, is my name where ‘JHA’ is pronounced in the similar way you pronounce ‘jha’ in ‘Jharkhand' and not as in ‘Zimbabwe'.Wait, what did I just write? Shit, it's AAKRITI not AAKRUTI. Fuck!Bye.
Do detectives in the US go to a "detective school"?
Sometimes. Larger agencies usually have a “detective school” for newly-appointed detectives or officers who anticipate being appointed to the post. It’s largely procedural, e.g. how to write affidavits for search and arrest warrants and submit them, the process for checking out surveillance gear, getting confidential informants registered and/or paid, and so on. It might include information on actually performing surveillances or “tailing” someone. It’s mostly stuff that one could be a uniformed cop for years and be very good at the job, but would still have not been trained on.More commonly, a newly appointed detective will be partnered with a more experienced training officer who will show them what they need to know procedurally.The basic skills of being a detective are learned while working in uniformed patrol. That’s where you find out how good you are.
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