Implant Free Affidavit: Fill & Download for Free

It is God who is our Judge and He will decide who goes to heaven or hell - Luke 1:37 For with God nothing will be impossible.”God’s plan was that the Holy Spirit be implanted in us on our baptism and that we grow through our relationship with Him and that Paradise is restored ‘Inside Out’.However since God does not take away our free will - things most often do not go as per plan.There are countries like China, North Korea, Russia, Middle East, parts of India etc which are very hostile to the faith. God does not expect the impossible and that people will give up their lives for a God they dont know and have not even been introduced to!!!So while the Bible teaches that those who reject Jesus will go to hell - it also teaches that those who dont have the ability to know God will be judged on the basis of their conscience. So we should leave all judgement to God and do our duty i.e. to love, preach the Gospel and use words when necessary.In India there is almost no freedom of religion on the ground (although it is guaranteed in the Constitution). A person cannot choose his religion (other than the one he is born into). If a person wants to become a Christian then he has to go before a magistrate and make a declaration, then there is paperwork in the form of affidavits etc. Even after going through this process priests are too scared to Baptize - so often the person attends mass etc - but remains not baptized for life. Unless we are Baptized technically we are not Christians!The fear is that the extremest groups will under fear and threat make the person make a confession that he was ‘forcibly converted’ and thereafter turn violent towards the person, his family and the church. Please read about Graham Staines.

Well, I have a story for you my friend...I was happily skipping down the street on my way to the polling booth to make my contribution to the “blue wave”, and the last thing I remember was these republican bright orange thugs covered in Trump gangland tattoos jumping out of some nearby bushes and grabbing me…When I woke up about a month later… I was in Australia. I’d lost my US citizenship and been given a false Australian identity complete with a tragic family bloodline convict backstory and they had 40 years worth of new memories implanted in my brain of me growing up in Aus.They even gave me an Australian accent complete with “Aussie Slang”, paid these stand in local actors to pretend to be my family and gave me a pet kangaroo named “Skip”.I've already lost 2 fingers to one of those damn drop bears… I dropped my guard for just a few seconds but that was enough. I’m lucky it didn’t take the whole hand. Vicious little bastards.And now I'm resigned to a lifetime of drinking Foster’s Lager, rubbing vegemite behind my ears, periodically throwin' some shrimps on the barbie nearby some freaking ridiculously incredible beach with all these attractive sheilas everywhere and watching “Aussie rules” football... It's a bloody tragedy mate.… and I swear on Jesus. I been walking around for a week and I am yet to see a single US flag ANYWHERE. Unpatriotic bastards. Don’t they know how many times we saved their asses? Show us the damn respect we deserve.These primitives don't even have half-decent levels of coronavirus here either. I mean how am I meant to angrily protest for my god given right to "not wear a mask"... if it’s not mandatory to wear a mask here anymore? Sigh.I went to the doctor a few days back and accidentally got some free healthcare. I begged them to take my money but they refused to honour my request. God damn socialist pricks.Then yesterday, I told a few nearby cops here that they were "wankers" and they just smiled and told me to go home because I'd had too much to drink. Not only did the bastards not even have the basic common decency to shoot me... they even offered to give me a lift home.I'm telling you my former US countrymen (and women), it's a living hell.So beware of those Trump gang thugs because they definitely don’t f*ck around mates.So where do I send my affidavit?I can’t provide any actual evidence of what happened or anything. But I can SAY IT REALLY LOUDLY and repeat it over and over and over again. I’m also willing to accuse anyone that doesn’t accept my claims of being in collusion with those involved and can say things like “Lock me up if I’m lying”.So I’m willing to trade my testimony for US citizenship reinstatement and a blanket “pardon” for anything that I “may have done” (cough, cough) in the past… as long as I don’t actually have to give any specific details about what I actually did.Just sign it at the bottom and leave the rest blank. I’ll fill in those details myself if and when it’s necessary.Someone give me call if interested…

Depends:You must first answer these to be more accurate in the answer…1-who or what is chewing it2-How many chewers3-how old is or are the chewers? If multiple list all4-how old is the tree?5-what is the tree made of? Traditional wood or a cookie tree can do? Can a paper printed tree be used?6-is the word tree or chew a metaphor fore something else7-is the person chewing voluntarily doing it or forced to, grade on a scale from one to ten his willingness to participate in this request.8-Does the chewer have a larger than normal vestigial appendix to digest celulose?9-Is it Ok if the chewer takes enzyme pills before the chewing, if so specify the specific enzymes, their half life and their specific bioavailability.10-does the chewer have to survive the eating?11-If the chewer gets in trouble can he call a friend? Or tag like in wrestling?12-does the chewer have tools to grind and blend the tree into a goop beforehand,13-Does the chewer have any special superpowers, if yes specify in detail14-type of tree to be chewed15-size of tree,16-age of the tree to be chewed17-texture of the tree (green or barky on a scale from 1–10)19-Is there a black hole in the near vicinity20-Does the chewer suffer any dental or musculoskeletal disease, that may impair his chewing ability?21- How fast is the gastrointestinal transit of the chewer.22-Is the tree rotten in any degree? (Specify on a scale from 1–10 the degree of rottenness)23- does the tree havecto be eaten from top to bottom or botom to top?24-Does the chewer have to swallow? Can he spit after a certain amount of chews?25-Please provide a dental x-ray of the chewer(s)26-does the chewer have an abnormally large masseter muscle as in bruxism?27-Is the chewer chewbacca the wookie?28-Does the chewer have any broken teeth29-if the chewer breaks his tooth, do we stop the clock? Wait to heal and then resume?30-If the chewer feels he needs a break, does the timer stop? If so, how long of a break can he take? How many is the maximum number of breaks he can have.31-What is the temperature of the tree and of the chewer. In degrees Kelvin please.32-Is it acceptable if the chewer before the task replaces all his teeth for adamantium metal like wolverine claws.33-can the chewer bring a cheerleading squad to boost his morale during the chewing?34- can the chewer before the test starts wait for someone to invent wood chipper nano bots to implant on is teeth.,35- can the chewer burn the tree down before chewing its ashes?36-can the chewer have a hole cut under his mandible to make all the bark fall out.37- is the chewer in space, under water?38-is the tree being cut down firs or has to be chewed where it stands39-are there any climatic issues that may or may not delay the test completion.;40- what is the size of the chewers mandible.41-is the chewer wearing41- how tasty is the tree on a scale from 1–10?42-how many minimum, maximum chews before the chewer must swallow.43-,Given average chewers ranking what rank would our tested chewer rank in the world44-has the chewer any previous experience in chewing down trees? if so how many years, is this hobby or acfull time job for him/her45-will the chewer have a monetary prize to motivate him to chew faster, if so How much in USD?46-is the chewer female, male, LGBT or robot?47- can the chewer be threatened or blackmailed to ensure the completion of the task?48- Can the chewer attendxa Tonny Robins motivatinal speech before the event49- Can Tony Robbins coach the chewer and be there to motivate him with his large jaw?50- has tree chemicals that may have side effects51- can the chewer use his hand or it more like a pie eating contest?52-how long has the chewer been trainig for the task (list training time, activities, how frequently if so.53-,whatcis the average specific gravity of the tree,54- is the tree dry? Quantify from 1–10 its dryness or lack of55-does the chewer have any maxilofacial abnormalities?56-does the chewer have to be a homo sapiens, is it possible to have a termite instead?57- can we do CRISPr dna hybrid vetween the chewers and termite?58- can the chewer consume the termites chewing the tree, since this technically would consist of double chewing points?59 when was the chewers last meal?60 how hungry is the chewer61 is the tree chewed a protected species in the jurisdiction, if so are there any cops arounf day62 Do the roots need to be consumed too!63. Is ir permitted to boil the tree in water to hidrate and soften the wood before three test?)64. Can the chewer use a shrinking machine like in Charly and the Chocolate factory and swallow it whole65- Is the tree glutten free? And is theChewer not allergic: ro any tree component.,66. Can the tree be made into a powder then drank as a smoothie.?68. Can the chewer timetrwvelcand have access to technologies to accelerate the process.69. List a comprehensive list of distractors in the testing area.70 Do you mean by “chewing down”, chewing enough around the base of the tree and letting it fall.71- if the chewer dreams he hasxeaten the tree does it count? What if he signs an affidavit?I was going to go for 100 but I am sleepy now.Answer these 71,questions this will aid in calvulating the answer you seek…