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Most of my friends parents go through their phones on a regular basis. One thing I've definitely noticed, though, is that my friends (including me) who don't have their phone spied on have SIGNIFICANTLY better relationships with their parents than those who do.I'll give you an example. My friend "Jenna's" parents became worried about her being bullied/having depression, so they began to do regular checks on her phone to try to make sure none of that was going on. Around the same time, my parents became worried about the same thing with me. However, instead of going through my phone, they had conversations with me- ones where it was made clear I could be honest with them and not get in trouble.You can probably figure out on your own which method worked best.While I started receiving therapy and other help I desperately needed, Jenna began protecting her phone. She had a series of rotating passwords she used, a way of deleting browser history that wouldn't arouse suspicion, a way of hiding apps and files deep into her phone. See, kids are clever, especially when something is important to them. She would delete conversations and replace them with ones that were "less incriminating" (less personal). When her parents installed spyware onto her phone that tracked websites, texts, and apps, she figured out how to hack it in less than three days. Her parents submitted her phone to nightly checks and random checks throughout the day. She sent screenshots to friends of things she wanted to save and deleted everything else immediately, and never used her phone in front of her parents. Instead of helping her, like her parents intended, they created and environment of fear and distrust.Now, I already know what you're going to say. "I paid for the phone, so I get to do what I want with it!" Fine. Then you also get to live with the consequences of your actions, which will be losing your child's trust in pivotal years of their development. "I just want to help them/make sure they're safe!" Even teens like Jenna, who had nothing major (drugs/sex/illegal activities) to hide will go to extreme lengths to protect their information. I've seen answers on here from teens who bought their own phone secretly to use behind their parents backs. If your child really is engaging in unsafe activities, you're not going to find out by looking through their phone. "My child hates me/won't talk to me/would never tell me anything!" There's probably a reason why. Look into that instead. Besides, even if it is purely irrational on their part, do you truly believe spying on your child's phone is going to help in any way?All in all, please don't spy on your kids phone. For everyone involveds sakes.

“This time I did what you said and followed the bubbles!”My step child, Anna, was about 5 or 6 when Mommy first tried to drown her. ‘Accidentally’.It went like this - she still couldn’t swim so Mommy, during her weekly visits, would take her to a friend’s pool and make her go in without a floaty or leave her on a lilo without a floaty. Then Mommy would watch from the side. Sooner or later Anna would be in trouble and go under.Mommy would rush over and pull her out and be a hero. Each time, Mommy would take longer and longer, according to Anna, who, one time remarked on how long Mommy watched her, still underwater, just staring at her, not moving as Anna fought for her life. Eventually she reached down and pulled her out.We are not allowed to criticize Mommy in front of Anna. Judges make rules like that to prevent parental alienation, and I expect those rules work well most of the time, with people of good will - but what do you do when you have a toe-rag for an ex?My work-around was to teach Anna to let a little air out underwater, then open her eyes if they were closed and swim after the bubbles. Swim as hard as you can, I told her. I told her if, one day, she really couldn’t make it to the surface she was to look for the light that would come for her. Then I went away and I cried and I cried.That is not something I ever thought I’d be saying to a child.I drilled it into her that no matter what anyone says you REFUSE to get into anyone’s car without a child seat (Mommy drives like a lunatic) and you REFUSE to get into anyone’s pool without a floaty.This is harder since Mommy told her ‘You don’t have to listen to what your Stepmother says’. Yeah, accidentally caught on video, that little nugget was.. Stepmoms are to be ignored and teachers are stupid, she has been told. The more problems she has, the more likely to be removed from our custody, Mommy thinks.Mommy ‘promised to rescue her if anything happens in the pool’ though and what child can refuse a pool? How is a child to know one person is trying to save her life and the other one has Munchausen’s by Proxy? How am I supposed to keep the kid alive without ‘alientating’ her from this mother who seems to think no further ahead than how much attention and sympathy she will get at the poor child’s funeral, and how this ‘accidental death’ will destroy her father?You should have seen her little face, bursting with love and pride about how Mommy had saved her. Then seen it the next time after Mommy left her completely unnattended except for some bully kid who pushed her in. By the third attempt she was bursting with pride at having saved her own life, which is a result, I suppose. Not the pool party we would want for her, but not the one Mommy planned either.For some odd reason our lawyer has never mentioned these incidents to a judge. I suspect once either child testifies, as the eldest has been begging to do since he was 9 she will lose all parental rights (the eldest is alternately outraged and depressed at being refused by our lawyer. He is 16 now. All he ever wanted was to tell a judge about his awful mother. He feels abandonned and betrayed by a society he increasing feels less a part of).According to the children’s lawyer, the GAL (Court appointed children’s lawyer that I paid for) I’m ‘just the stepmom’. I’m allowed to cook and clean and pay the bills and I’m allowed to watch as someone tries to kill my whole family, but I don’t get decision making power over so much as a hairstyle. (The youngest was devastated by one botched amateur haircut and another time mommy crept in as she was sleeping and just cut a huge chunk off right from the top of her head, then called Child Protection and claimed I’d burned it off with lice treatment, when you could SEE THE SCISSOR MARKS GOING THROUGH IT.)Another time the eldest went on his visitation as a natural blond and came back a patchy cerulean blue, which he liked very much, but he liked it better when I stripped it out, did the pre bleaching properly, then dyed it a nice even blue, in time for his next visitation. As in, if he’s going to come home looking like an office desk ornament, he’ll be looking like a quality one on my watch :). The time after, I sent him there with the most gorgeous rainbow, each color blended to perfection into the other, and that was the end of the hair dyeing by Mommy.But, officially, I am to put up, shut up and pay up. I am “not their friend, not their counsellor, not their parent” the GAL said. I “get no say whatsoever”. I can take in homeless children and care for them as I see fit, but not these children. I am to stand by as they are abused in a way I wouldn’t have to if these were neighbor kids. The Guardian Ad Litem woman was so awful we moved house. I couldn’t stomach being in it after she’d been there going through everything, judging me on my admittedly inexperienced housekeeping skills. That was the first and only thing me and Mommy ever agreed on - this woman was awful. She damn near destroyed my home, family and marriage - and she was on our side, in the end. There is a Special Hell for women who make a good living going into the homes of other women and telling them they have to pay through the nose to make a human doormat of themselves and another Special Hell right next to it for the husbands who don’t see what the Big Deal is.The sum total of my rights is I get to be told, by an appointee of the court and thus of the state, that I am to work as a free skivvy, obey my husband in every particular, watch my family be denied their right to life and audience before a judge, and - rather than getting paid for this - I am to pay for the privilege? Whether I pay the GAL directly or pay hubby’s mortgage while he pays her I smell taxation without representation here.Yeah.. no. I am not going raise a female child whose primary role model is a human doormat. It’s psychological and aspirational suffocation and just as bad as trying to drown her.I even paid $7k for the eldest’s transgender surgery myself. The GAL would have had a hissy fit. What am I supposed to do? Watch as the poor kid goes through life like a bad drag act, giveaway feminine hips getting wider every week? Would I have let that happen to a neighbor kid? No.Hubby didn’t have the money, health insurance always wriggles out of it for trans treatment and we couldn’t ask Mommy to come up with her share because being asked to pay would likely send her over the edge into another murderous psychotic rage.Child protection know all about Mommy too but they never do anything other than tell her to quit wasting their time. She’s always sending them and the police here on one bogus call after another. They know plenty, but until she kills one of them or leaves physical bruises it seems there is little they can do. Abuse of process isn’t under their purview.Among other highlights.. Mommy was caught on video trying to run hubby down in his own garage and lied to a doctor to get a prescription for Respiridone then mixed an overdose with apple sauce then chased him round and forced it down the throat of our eldest. It could have killed the child or left him drooling, twitching and lip-smacking with Tardive Dyskinesia for the next 70 years. He’s a beautiful child, to disable him in such a horrific fashion is beyond unconscionable. Of course, you’d need a conscience to realize that.She used to park her car outside Granny’s house in Oklahoma and watch and watch. When she smashed Granny in the back with her fist after surgery, a terrified Granny came to live with us, too scared to be left behind when we moved to Georgia.Thanks for that, Mommy.There I am a brand new bride of two or three months - never had to run a household before and the next thing I know I’m told the GODDAMNED MOTHER-IN-LAW IS MOVING IN. With all her gigantic fake antique brown furniture in our tiny house, her full volume America’s Fattest Dumbest Model Housewives she was happy to expose the children (indeed, the whole block) to, her junk food demands at 10pm and her thirty - yes, thirty - I counted, plastic Santas.I have a five year old screaming “Mommy says I don’t need to listen to you” all day, a nine year old with a surprisingly lasting hatred of me for pointing out he needs nutrition and education, I’m living in a fake brown antique nightmare, under house arrest (with no car) in a brand new country WHERE I KNOW NOBODY and a hubby who thinks I’ll be just fine once I get to bond with the other housewives over a shared love of polishing, or something.I grew hydroponic tomatoes mostly so I’d have something to talk to.We’d moved after Mommy cost hubby his job by being variously early/late/no show with returning the children, when he got another job and we moved away from Tulsa to Roswell, GA, we had a few months without Stalker Mommy then she followed us and now lives 5 minutes away - and works at a local private school, which just goes to show how much background checking goes into their hiring process. Her mugshot from the time the judge told her not to even think of getting our utilities cut off and she went straight from the courthouse and did exactly that - the mugshot from that should have shown up in a simple Google search.Of course a judge should have known better than to tell a sociopath to not do something they hadn’t thought of. It puts ideas into their head. Except how was he to know she was a sociopath? He didn’t order her to be evaluated. When I asked the lawyer about it, he pointed out we were having enough trouble paying his bill, let alone funding Mommy’s mental health treatment.The very first time I ever clapped eyes on the woman was a security camera video of Hubby-to-be’s house. She delivers the children to the front door and on her way back to the car she takes time to pause on the garden path and casually rip three or four plants up from the ground, drops them, leaves them where they fall, and continues on her way.She sent Narcotics after my hydroponic tomatoes too, and I must say I felt a little sorry for the officers who, having likely expected an exciting marijuana farm and possibly crack den found nothing but Anna, and Granny in her dressing gown and slippers. Plus some tomatoes. To be fair, I was apparently the only person on the hydroponics forum who really was growing tomatoes. (I get that impression by the fact I didn’t feel the need to put the word ‘tomatoes’ in quotes) but Mommy had gotten the eldest to photograph my plant room “Oh, your Stepmom likes plants, does she? Can you get me some photographs? The closer up the better”. The nine year old child, delighted to be the means for his Stepmom and Mommy to bond at last, complied. Then Mommy, who presumably thinks she can credibly claim she doesn’t know a cannabis leaf from a tomato leaf, called it in to Narcotics, anonymously, then admitted doing so in court. Nothing happened to her, not even an order for costs. We were raided by armed police, with all the risk that necessarily entails and what happens to her? Zilch, nada, nothing, niento.One day hubby came home to find her taking a shower in his bathroom.She pushed our eldest in through Daddy’s doggy door to burgle the house when he was 9 (eldest passed out only stuff known to be broken ‘so Mommy’s car was so full she couldn’t steal our doggies like she wanted to’). Smart child. He thought he would go to jail for stealing, and still he had the good sense to fill Mommy’s car with so much trash there was no room for the dogs. She just couldn’t resist the endless stream of hubby’s pilfered junk the eldest passed through the doggy door.Who goes round to someone’s house to steal their doggies and DOESN’T EVEN PUT THEM AT THE TOP OF THE LIST?? A living creature, even in the midst of your latest crime, should not be an afterthought, you witless dufus.The judge did have a few words to say about that one even though it wasn’t the worst thing she’d ever done (likely wasn’t even the worst thing she’d done that day). He said “short of crack-addicted mothers you are the worst mother I’ve ever encountered in my courtroom”. Personally, I wouldn’t be so quick to rule out the crack but she did get into trouble for ‘contributing to the delinquency of a minor’ which I feel is a sad reflection on the minor here who showed a moral sophistication, by, in his mind, risking jail to save the dogs - a level of interpersonal ethical development well beyond that attained by his supposed mother. He could have run and hidden at a neighbors and called the police, but he knew Mommy would find a way into the yard - he risked his freedom because, he said, ‘I knew how upset you and Daddy would be to lose the doggies’. Who Mommy ‘used to kick anyway when Daddy was at work’.You can frequently spot the morally challenged by how they treat animals. I told the kids repeatedly not to accept any new pets Mommy offers. But they’re kids. Its a losing battle.From the male chick belonging to the eldest that was ‘sent off to a farm to learn to lay eggs’, to the hen belonging to the youngest who was ripped apart in front of her eyes when Mommy let the dog out ‘accidentally’, to the dog we think she gave away (it wasn’t listed on a single missing pets website) then had the youngest making ‘lost dog’ posters for, to the rabbit and guinea pig she texted to say she’d abandoned in sub freezing temperatures one November in Tulsa so we had to rescue them off her front porch at a moment’s notice (“Daddy took all my money so I can’t afford the pets” she told the children about it after she lost another round in court, and no, Daddy didn’t get any money - the judge simply failed to award her the children and child support she’d counted on when she invested in the pets).She gets the pets to encourage the children to tell counsellors they ‘want to live with Mommy’ - then she disposes of them as soon as a judge rules against her. Always. They are disposable props in the disaster movie that passes for her life, just like the rest of us are.When we tell the children ‘no more pets at Mommy’s please’ yet can’t tell them why, who do you suppose looks like the bad guys? When one party is a predator, this not being able to explain things drives a wedge between us and the children and puts the mental and physical wellbeing of the children at serious, increased, unneccessary risk - because we cannot alert them to this threat or any other. Wouldn’t you think you had a right to know about a serious threat to your life, so, like, maybe you could manage a little extra vigilance? I’m no expert, but I thought a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness was in your constitution. Not if you are a child, seemingly. The constitution doesn’t apply to you. Children are, perhaps, the last of the disenfranchised. I did get the eldest a car escape kit though, with a thing to cut seatbelts and a hammer to break car windows. Told him to keep it with him during car rides while with Mommy.And then there is the endless stream of well-meaning professionals who think all we need to do is sit around with Mommy and have a nice cosy little chat.Then we all group hug while Daddy reads aloud from the House at Pooh Corner, or whatever your cultural equivalent is - Little House on the Prairie maybe? and we realise that what we thought were enemies were really friends in disguise all along.. Yeah..That idea tends to last until she puts the well-meaning professional on her stalking list too.Balance bias. I’m surprised it hasn’t gotten more counsellors killed.What, you think she gets less dangerous because you have a certificate??Are you planning to fend her off with it and hope she bleeds out from a paper cut? And, we are PAYING WITH OUR SAFETY and our money for your education. You think she won’t be alert for every last detail she can plausibly or implausibly spin into a tale of woe then its police, CPS and another 5k in court to fend off her crap again, with the counsellor in the middle of it this time and me, muggins here, paying for the counsellor (and the lawyer the counsellor has to engage to fend off Mommy’s attempts to get the privileged private information the eldest child - who is now, and quite reasonably, refusing all counselling - wrongly thought was sacrosanct)?So my child is denied his right of audience, denied even a counsellor, not supposed to confide in me - and if Mommy gets her way - will be driven to suicide in a body he finds monstrous because the meal ticket she tricked into marrying her deserted her when he realized she was destroying his kids.Enough already. What does it take? We are not your Disney movie. We are not in Kansas any more and I’m sick to the back teeth of fending off her flying goddamned monkies!The long and the short of it is - we are under no legal obligation to so arrange our affairs as to hand a narcissistic sociopath the longest possible knife to stick in our backs.Yes, I did just misquote Lord Hailsham. And the fact I’ve had to do so might mean its time for me to start picking the lawyers.We’ll invite her into a group therapy session after we see you accept an invitation to a cookout from Jeffrey Dalmer.I understand there is no public provision for the incurably mentally ill in the US. I understand it very well. To the tune of $130k and counting, we understand it. She’ll never get to see a doctor who could help or or at least reign her in a bit. And I’m beginning to realise it’s not the right to bear arms that causes mass shootings, its thinking public mental health provision is only for those Commie Pinko Lefties in Europe. That and the Prozac the shooters invariably turn out to be on anyway.$130k with no order for costs and no end to the torture in sight, it costs HER a lot less however - if all the lawyers she previously stiffed are anything to go by. I’ll tell you how bad it was - when the eldest belatedly came to me and said he was transgender and asked if I would break the news to his father - my first thought wasn’t ‘oh poor kid, that’s going to be a tough road’ but ‘OMG she is going to bankrupt us now’.Its corrupting, its all-pervading, its neverending. Never. Ever. Ever. I haven’t got a husband. I’ve got an ex-wife I never even married and HER husband, barely.Our eldest delayed for years telling me he was transgender, fully KNOWING his body was changing irreparably because he’d done his research (its important to stop puberty and do it FAST if there is to be any hope of a totally convincing result) the eldest knew what I knew - Mommy would round up religious nutters and hate groups, give them the Poor Me, land us back in court and try forcing the eldest to live in a body he hates till he kills himself, and bankrupt us in the process. Because she can. The children’s college funds are long gone. All their joy, all their potential, sucked dry, and our child’s transition forever rendered incomplete.She talks a good game, but her lawyers frequently make one court appearance, realize they were lied to, dump her, she finds another, she starts again. 7 years of this. She’s on her 19th or 20th lawyer now. We are on our second. Which might, now I think on it, be a mistake.Our first lawyer was newly qualified and chosen by hubby. He kept putting off and putting off asking for attorney’s fees from Mommy. (Being awarded attorney’s fees in a divorce is unusual, but Mommy had been so flagrantly abusing process and creating havoc that the attorney said he was sure hubby would get them). Then he made a mistake in his instruction to hubby when it came to splitting assets. I said it was a mistake as I was in court at the time and I have a near ‘eidetic’ memory for spoken words. The judge made a mistake in his calculations then corrected himself and the previous order said hubby could cash in a fund for expenses too. Then the judge forgot and thought hubby acted in bad faith when his lawyer, who was confused by all this, told him to do so to pay his legal bill.End result judge made no award for costs as he thought hubby had acted in bad faith. I had to watch all this. I saw it coming after the judge started contradicting himself, said so, was overruled by hubby and the lawyer who both told me to stay out of it.Hubby followed the lawyers advice to not challenge the judge for fear of upsetting him, not my advice to politely point out the oversight. It cost hubby over $100k of money he didn’t have and has been looking at me for.Thankfully, during the newby lawyer’s next blunder, hubby was ill in bed and couldn’t speak.There IS a god.He had no choice but to deal with me. The lawyer rang up and told me to tell hubby we were in trouble. Mommy’s lawyer was after hubby’s pension, they had forgotten to split it like the judge had ordered and could I ask hubby to send $50k right now please.I told him hubby was ill but, if he would kindly recall, she’d gotten all the mutual funds in lieu, plus he’d paid her massive credit card debts so they could all kiss my Particulars.Yeah, they’d split the assets in two, she’d gotten a new lawyer, lied, come after half the rest, and our own lawyer would have had hubby on the hook for it.Fair or unfair, she sees potential, she’s on it. In fact, I’m beginning to wish Mommy WAS our lawyer. Either I’ve got Stockholm Syndrome, or Mommy missed her calling there.This is who she just set on us.. ‘The American College of Pediatricians”.Sound OK, don’t they?Well… not so much. Type that name into Google and before you click on a single result Google warns us that..“The American College of Pediatricians Is an Anti-LGBT Group. ... A small anti-LGBT group called the “American College of Pediatricians (ACP)” created a name that is easily confused with the AAP, the largest pediatrics organization in the country. May 8, 2017”There is no way her initial Googling didn’t find out this was just some Electrocute the Gay Away scam. The guy in charge isn’t even a neurologist or psychiatrist - he’s an endocrinologist!God give me strength. Even I knew, before the trans thing ever came up, that trans brains respond to adult images the exact same way as the experienced gender, not the biological gender do, because I am scientifically literate, that’s why. How can someone purporting to cure the gay away not know this? Maybe because they studied endocrinology and the bible, not neuroscience and the DSM-VI?This is Georgia, Mommy’s thinking. It took the supreme court to tell them not to put ‘evolution is only a theory’ stickers on the science textbooks. This pseudo-scientific claptrap might actually get a hearing in Georgia, she thinks. At guess who’s expense, again?The trans thing had Mommy really busy. She had Child Protection take the youngest out of class to be questioned about us ‘forcing the eldest to live as a boy’. The youngest said ‘no he wants to be a boy’ of course, pretty much like they must have expected, but what the heck - why not throw public money after ours. Never costs Mommy anything.What we have, is, I think, a malignant Narcissistic Sociopath with Munchausen’s by Proxy. But it’s hard to be sure as no court I know of ever ordered her to be evaluated, and even if they do in future it’ll be me footing the bill and I’m NOT EVEN AMERICAN. I’m British, and here I am still subsidizing the colonies 250 years after they supposedly declared independence.I found hubby a $19k tax refund his accountant missed after he became unemployed, I pay for phones, trash collection, house maintenance and vacations and hand over large sums from my life savings from time to time for the mortgage. My savings from when I had a life, that is - and my name isn’t on the deeds to the house. I even homeschooled the eldest for two years after he slid further and further behind at school and all he does is grump because I work instead of playing homemaker.It has to be said the eldest isn’t going through his ‘grateful’ phase right now though. The GAL isn’t the only one thinks I should be a cross between Wilma Flintstone and Scarlett O’Hara (I am thinking the testosterone treatment might need dialling back a little). He was furious when I made him give up his all-sugar diet and when I found out that, at 9, he couldn’t add 2+3 and I taught him math and let it be known ‘slacker’ isn’t a career option “but I PREFER not to learn stuff” he’d say (this is what happens when you don’t set limits on your kids) like he was stating a color preference. So, not going to win any popularity contests there, even though now, he’s on track to enter Georgia Tech and he’s throwing hints out about what kind of car he’d like.Still, you don’t do it for the gratitude do you?At 6 years old though, the youngests’ teachers sent a letter recommending remedial reading class. Three days later I emailed a video of her reading fluently like a 9 year old. Her astonished teacher asked me at a parent meeting how that happened. (“Wait till she’s hungry, get a big pile of jelly beans, give her a bean for every three new words learned.”)At least she was grateful and soon discovered a real love of books and learning. Once a child finds a love for learning, not the worst parent in the world can hold them back.Anyway, Mommy is not the biggest lunatic I have encountered - having fought off Mark Dixie with my bare hands while being a single female living in London, but she is the most dangerous - AS WE CANNOT SIMPLY FLEE. If we want to move, we have to ask a judge, then it all starts up again. Then starts up again in the next state when she follows us and never an order for attorney fees. Never. The kids have us pinned like butterflies unless she loses all parental rights and so she stalks us by proxy.She is free to take swipe after swipe at us. No consequences of note befall her ever. She’s that most piteous of sights - a childless mother, literally reduced to threatening her children till they grin like maniacs on the forced photos she posts to Facebook, and that’s her life right there in a nutshell. Validate her delusions, or else!Each bogus motion costs an average of $5k to get dismissed. My husband was laid off after his employer closed a whole division and after a year got a new job paying much less. So, we cannot escape and I am not inclined to pay for one more ‘victory’ and I think she WILL kill us if we ask for her to lose parental rights.Running over hubby, drowning the youngest, forcing the eldest to endure the wrong body knowing the suicide statistics on that, overdosing him. As for me - Immigration didn’t want to throw me out - yeah, she called them too. Narcotics didn’t want to arrest me for tomatoes. Child protection aren’t interested. She’ll have to break in again. Maybe stage a robbery gone wrong. I dread that scenario. Hubby is the sort, who, upon hearing a mysterious noise in the night is up and charging around switching lights on willy-nilly confident his good nature will protect him - that is - presenting the BROADEST POSSIBLE TARGET HE CAN, so I’m sort of on my own with this. I’m the sort who switches the lights OFF when I think there might be a predator about.One time during one of Mommy’s more active stalking periods, we heard a noise outside. I switched the lights off, told hubby to secure the house and stay there, then, heart in my mouth, went alone, silently into the darkness outside to see what was there. I crept up to the shadow of the car, waited to see what would happen next and held my breath. What happened next was some godawfull SCREECHING WAIL and LIGHTS FLASHING in my eyes and I’m stood there IN THESE TWO GLARING HEADLIGHTS - night vision ruined and lit up like a christmas tree!!!People in passing planes would have had no trouble whatsoever locating me, should they be curious as to what that COLLOSSAL DIN might be about.Hubby, bless his innocent little heart, had thought around then might be a very nice time to set off the car to see if he could scare off whatever was lurking outside - so we had a little Discussion about our Differing Philosophies on Security (well, OK, I ripped him a new one), a discussion still ongoing, as it happens, but there is a reason I went out there instead of him (hey I can’t be Feminist only when it suits me). One, the children will survive without me. Without HIM they are back with Mommy. Two - I have a reasonable chance of coming back alive if someone is out there intending to kill us. He hasn’t. He came from a cozy home to university to job to suburb. He doesn’t have the life skills. This is his very first experience with a stalking predator. I spent several decades as an attractive female insomniac living alone in the center of London. Its not even my 7th. I’m still here.Is my life really worth more than a man’s life? Is it less of a tragedy if hubby dies instead of me? If I die its a tragedy. If HE dies its a tragedy and an effing DISASTER.I despair, I really do though. I am hard pressed to envisage a scenario whereby an armed ex-wife sneaks in and we don’t mostly end up dead because not only will I have to get the kids out and deal with her, I’ll have a husband with no tactical wherewithall whatsoever blundering around making targets of the lot of us :(Not much to look forward to, is it? I used to have horizons, dreams.. now all I can hope for is to take an honor guard to hell with me.We try to give the kids as normal of an existence as we can. The only unusual aspects, I would say, is the care I have taken to teach each child self defence and situational awareness.[Update April 2018]I recently discovered my liver enzymes, GGT and Alkaline Phosphatase have been gradually climbing for four years. No virus or cancer can be found. No autoimmunity markers, no heavy metals. I’m not taking any herbs or medication and still they climb and climb. The Liver transplant doctors at Piedmont are puzzled even after my biopsy. Today it occurred to me to consider the possibility of a non-accidental toxin exposure, but I can’t imagine how it is being administered and I can’t exactly ask the youngest ‘did Mommy give you special vitamins to put in my milk?’[Update July 2018]The brand new Guardian ad Litem just asked Hubby about why Mommy wasn’t included in the transgender counselling sessions with the eldest’s doctor. <Sigh..>Thank you everyone, especially Gabriel, whose comment meant the world to me! I too am on the spectrum. Our friends have links to this post and we shall share Google Drive links to the supporting evidence, in case the worst should happen.She’ll get away with it though. She generally does. However, this entire post will then have its own website and real names will be used for everyone mentioned.[Update August 2018]The new GAL is a distinct improvement over the old one. Didn’t even ask me about housework. Perhaps there is hope.[Update August 10 2018]It IS the milk. I’m the only one in the house drinks lactose free. I’ve been throwing up after drinking tea these past few days. I took a good whiff of the half full milk carton. It smelled very faintly floral. I asked a friend, Nick, who has a really good sense of smell and he said it was soap. There was a residue of it running down the outside of the carton. I left a message for my liver doc to see about getting it analyzed. I can see no mechanism whereby soap elevates liver enzymes, but this has been going on for four years. Maybe it wasn’t always soap.

First, it’s worth mentioning that they never could have become the political influencers they were in Ender’s Game in the real world. In the book, human society has what’s referred to as “the nets.” The nets bear shocking resemblance to the modern day internet, especially for a book published in the 80s, but they aren’t the internet.If Peter and Valentine tried creating internet personas to take over the world using the modern internet, well xkcd pretty well shows how that would go for them.Image credit: Locke and DemosthenesAlt text: Dear Peter Wiggin: This letter is to inform you that you have received enough up votes on your reddit comments to become president of the world. Please be at the UN tomorrow at 8:00 sharp.Valentine never would’ve become Demosthenes in the real world. She only did in the book because Peter asked her to, which he only did because it was part of his plan to take over the world, which wouldn’t work in the real world, so he wouldn’t bother recruiting her. However, I think Peter would still craft an internet persona in his spare time during his adolescent years.Peter’s extremely intelligent, highly interested in world affairs, and wants to start gaining political influence. It makes sense that he’d start trying to establish himself as a political commentator as soon as he could. I don’t think he’d use a pseudonym, he only did that because he wanted to be in a position of geopolitical influence and wouldn’t get taken seriously in that role if it was known he was a child. Plus, if his real identity isn’t known, it limits the ways he can grow his audience.I think he’d have his own website where he would keep a collection of essays on various political issues in the form of a blog. He’d probably have accounts on all major social media platforms, but he’d mainly spend his time on platforms that allowed longer more thought out responses as opposed to ones like twitter or snapchat. He’d probably have a very active YouTube account for video essays, I don’t imagine him sitting in front of the camera and talking too much but instead doing narration style commentary while showing whatever clips or animation are relevant. I also could imagine him having an active (and very popular) Quora account.Outside of social media, I’m sure he’d have a spot in his school’s paper once he was in high school, he’d probably do the same once he was in university (I imagine he’d go to a prestigious university, like Harvard or Oxford, something along those lines). I also imagine he’d start writing books while still in middle or high school. He might have the professionally published or might just self publish. Given that he would have what I’m guessing are fairly popular social media accounts, he’d have a built in audience and no problems marketing, so even if any books he wrote didn’t become bestsellers, I image the sales would be pretty good.Ultimately, Peter Wiggin in the real world never could have become president of the planet as a teenager just because he had a really good blog. However, I do think he could start establishing a network and audience in his teen years that would serve as a launching pad into an adult political career.