California Grant Deed From Husband And Wife To Trust: Fill & Download for Free

Love yourself first. It is even Okay to treat yourself real good with hookers from This SiteDon’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.Don’t talk about your ex. Please don’t. What’s in the past stays in the past.Don’t rush things. Be slow and let time show you the next step.Never get involved in a relationship just because of pressure. Some people try to hold on a relationship until they find something better, or feel they can change the other person to fit what they want. Chances are high that this isn’t gonna work and you will hurt their feelings later.Never date someone after a breakup. You don’t know if he chose you because of love or obviously because he wants to forget his ex.When a woman ask you a question, she already knows the answer.Don’t marry because you are afraid of biological hour or you are afraid to be alone. Don’t be influenced with society. You are the one who will spend this life with that partner.Communicate. Especially for women. Don’t expect your man to know what is wrong with you when you don’t talk. Just tell him. Make life easier.Be honest. Never cheat on your partner, even by thinking. And never compare him with others. Every person has good and bad side. Love him the way he is.Give your partner space. We women always do this mistake. We call them all the time. Instead you should spend time with friends and other people, so when you meet you have things to tell each other.Support each other, in good and especially in bad days.Never take your partner for granted. Invest your time and effort to make your relationship works in long term.Have fun and spend good time together by Watching a comedy movie or reading jokes. Developing signs just both of you understand. Laugh as much as you can and never let boredom will cross over your life.Know how to handle conflicts. It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight. And never stay a long period of not talking after a fight. Problems should be resolved immediately.And don’t forget. The important thing about relationships is not love but respect. So respect your beloved ones and invest in their happiness.Reduce your temper.When he apologizes, we shouldn't ask "Where did you go wrong"? Men and women have really different ideas on many things, and it’s impossible to talk about it when they quarrel. "How do you fall in love with different genders" Do you think this sentence is just a joke?2. Avoid inappropriate ways of quarreling.Try not to quarrel overnight. If the conflict cannot be resolved that day, it is best to meet directly instead of calling. Avoid text messages. When emotionally unstable, text messages can easily make people try to figure out the other party’s ideas maliciously. No matter how excited, don't talk about the breakup. If you want to divide, you will really divide, don't mention it if you don't.3. Operate carefully.Don't ignore the other party's psychology, the other party's silence, hesitation and other details just because you have been together for a long time. Don't think about coming back just because you are in a hurry to go out. Call the other party to care about it when you are on the road. In addition, the attractiveness of the opposite sex is maintained, and only those who have changeability are attractive. It is not difficult to make someone like you, but it is not easy to make someone love you forever. It is more attractive to him than to frugally buy expensive gifts for him and just tidy up the room to make himself attractive. Buying sexy underwear, keeping fit, or learning to dance are all beneficial. Maintain a sense of freshness. When feelings are about to become plain, I suggest to take some careful thinking to create a sense of freshness. Give a small gift from time to time and give a small surprise. Sing a song and record it and send it to each other, try things you don't usually do, and cultivate new hobbies personally.4. Sexual relations and spiritual communication are equally important.Many girls think that mental communication in relationships is more important than sex, no, they are all important. You were shy and cute when you had sex today, and you will still be shy and lovely the day after tomorrow, but every time for 30 years? You can be tender today, be shy tomorrow, take the initiative the day after tomorrow, the style of the day after tomorrow, or occasionally change one day. Even if the partner is the same in the same place, the same posture, and the woman's attitude is different, the taste is completely different. In addition to your different reactions, small details can also create a sense of freshness and wonderful excitement. For example, if you have jewelry and no clothes, you can just wear a necklace; for example, women who don't usually wear nail polish put on beautiful nail polish; for example, women who don't usually wear perfume spray some light fragrance behind their necks. These are easy to do, and it’s not impossible to blindfold if you like. It is attractive to cook a pot of good soup, but women who have reproductive desire are more attractive.Here are some suggestions that I have practiced, which are very useful.In China, interpersonal relationship can even be regarded as a science.With the change of young people's ideas in the 21st century, we are pushing China's interpersonal relationship to become more modern and more bordered.Asians born before the 21st century should attach great importance to the order of the young and the old, especially Koreans.China pays more attention to family relations, visiting each other and giving gifts on holidays. Especially Mid-Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Lunar New Year.Chinese friendship attaches importance to commitment and loyalty, which was called 肝胆相照 in ancient times.Between husband and wife, attaching importance to companionship is called 相濡以沫.（Chinese characters are idioms）Now let me summarize the social rules of contemporary Chinese:For Lovers or couples：Don't find a partner because of loneliness.Learn to love others, you can be loved.Don't test love.Let the other party know what you paid, don't pay silently. The trick to maintaining love is to let yourself find each other's best time and time again, in order to further fall in love with each other.Don't be humble in love.If you are tired of loving, it means that this is not the right person.For friends：learn to seek common ground while reserving differences.Praise and affirmation is the most efficient way to get closer.Interact with others:Count 1, 2, and 3 before getting angry.Do not understand the situation of others, do not persuade others to be generous.People are divided into groups.End the plain interpersonal relationship. Jimmy Ron once said: "The average of the 5 people you have the most contact with is you."Don't owe favors.Don't be a "good" person.Don't promise lightly, it is the best education for a person.Don't say things against your heart, don't do things against your heart.Have a sense of boundary.If you find it useful, you can UPVOTE for me, or FOLLOW me！🥰 ThanksIt is hard to ignore the fact that our social culture has changed over time and has brought about some pretty radical changes in the way we find a partner, join our lives together, and sustain a relationship over time.Researchers at University of California, Irvine and State University, Los Angeles reviewed women’s magazine topics on relationships since 1900. They found ‘a historical change toward equating love with self-fulfillment and advocating the expression of anger.’ There have been many changes from traditional relationship values to more modern ones and the research showed that these changes in relationship advice given by women’s magazines are related to waves of political liberation versus oppression.The researchers say that ‘Emotion norms have become less rigid and more tolerant of diversity; but gender differences persist, and women are still responsible for maintaining intimate relationships. Historical trends in love and anger norms are nonlinear, not a continuous shift toward individualism, self-development, and free expression, as suggested by recent cultural theories.’Here are some relationship advice that can help you out:1. YOU CAN TRAIN YOUR PARTNER TO BE A BETTER MATENo one can force another person to change their behavior, so this is an avoidable piece of relationship advice. Training is something you can do for non-human animals, not people. Although you can certainly communicate your preferences to your partner, and praise or reward them when they listen and respect your boundaries, you will never change the core of their personality.2. EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS, DON’T REPRESS THEM‘Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.’ – Sally Albright, When Harry Met SallyShould you tell your partner how frustrated you are by, for example, them humming along to the radio, now, or to ignore it? Is it better to bottle up your feelings, or express them right away? The best relationship advice is, it depends.For example, if your partner is happy, and you can tell this by their body language and expression, then telling them that you are annoyed by their behavior is going to hurt them more deeply than if you can move to another location or plug your ears or just learn to be happy with them. No one partner in a relationship has the right to stop the other partner from being happy just because they find it annoying. You both have the right to happiness.3. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRYHonestly, this piece of relationship advice should be ignored because some topics are too serious to come to a decision about before bed. An argument is usually a difference of opinion between you and your partner and if it’s important, and you’re still arguing about it before bedtime, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to gain some perspective on the situation.4. AS LONG AS YOU ARE BOTH HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINEHonesty is key to building trust, and hiding things from your partner isn’t good, but you also know the difference between telling a little white lie to save your partner from having hurt feelings and a flat-out lie that is dishonest and could destroy your relationship later.5. IF THE SEX IS GOOD, THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHYSex and intimacy is only one component of a healthy partnership. A strong libido doesn’t equal a happy relationship with excellent communication and a couple who work together to overcome obstacles and achieve goals. Sex does not equate to a deep emotional commitment either, unfortunately, so this is one piece of relationship advice you’ll want to ignore.6. A GOOD BREAKUP IS BETTER THAN A BAD RELATIONSHIPIf it’s truly a bad relationship, meaning that staying is emotionally, physically, mentally or otherwise harmful to one partner or both, then a breakup is indeed better. However, if you’re not hurting, it might be worth staying if the relationship problems can be solved. University of Buffalo researchers found that the physical health of both partners was a sign of a high-quality romantic relationship. So if you are fit and healthy, consider yourself to be in a healthy relationship.7. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO COUNSELING TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMSCouple’s counseling won’t fix anything unless you are both willing to work to fix problems with communication, trust, intimacy, or whatever else is ruining your relationship. It takes two to make a partnership and both partners are usually involved in the problems of the relationship as well as the solution. If each of you is blaming the other, this piece of relationship advice is never going to work until you take accountability for your own actions.The most shocking realization of an idealist cinephile: Life is not like in the moviesI stood there patiently waiting for love to find me, with popcorn in my hand and the heart on my sleeve. I did everything right, according to every script I ever saw. I had my fair share of drama, gave away second chances like free coupons, paired efforts with compromises and loved foolishly.Movies taught me about love. They cemented a predefined vision of love that was impossible to shake off later in life. Every relationship I’ve embarked on followed a playbook I knew to be true and that went a somewhere along these lines:Boy sees girl, love at first sight - daaahh! He bends over backwards to get to her and, for that to happen, you had to wait at least 30 mins or 3 seasons. The first kiss was always magical. Then something bad happened and they broke up, after which you’d sit around for the rest of the movie, waiting for them to be together again.The leading lady had to endure excruciating drama because without it, there was no way of telling if their love was the real deal. The guy was destined to fight for their relationship and take on anybody in its way, in order to prove that he’s worthy and that he’ll not make the same mistake twice. There was always another dude, the good guy that never ended up with the girl and got friend-zoned for life, regardless of the amount of yelling you did while calling the girl all sort of names for not giving him the time of day.The protagonists would eventually end up together and everything would magically fall into place.The end.Entering the mine field: what have we learned from here?You only have one shot a love. Miss it and you’re done. No more happiness for you, dear friend!Love just happens - You only need one look to know that you’ve found the one.The beginning is of utter importance - It’s all in the firsts: first kiss, first time holding hands, butterflies in your stomach, angels crying when making love. Life has no meaning without all of this.Love is pain - If you don’t cry me a river, it’s all for nothing. If it’s not about forbidden love, if he’s not a bad guy that needs to be turned over, if you’re not hurting - it ain’t happening. If you don’t give him the 8th “second chance”, if he doesn't crawl back on his knees, if you don’t change your look in the process just to give him a glimpse of what he’s missing, it’s not a good sign. Same goes for taking down your glasses so he knows what a bomb shell you were all along. If you don’t make him jealous and if his friends aren’t convinced, you don’t stand a chance!You have to obsessively look for the one, and, when you find him, proceed into making him marry you - how else to majestically end your story if not with a wedding???As a consequence, I’ve been in and out of relationships all my life, since everybody was doing so, both on and off screen. I’ve steered clear of singleness and saw it as the bitter confirmation that my existence is only half-done in the lack of a special someone.I’ve learned the hard way that love knows so many different scripts in real life. The inner screen, on which my feelings were humming so many new tunes, led me to better choices. Like the one to fight to have and to keep love, even after the gran finale. That never happens in movies, since you never know what the people are on to after the happy end.No one ever talks about how the love that once made you soar becomes comfortable, even trivial, with time. Or how that small fact turns on memories and the need for drama. Once you get the happy ending and the partner of your dreams, you might find it a bit dull. The passion you once knew and the magic of each moment together becomes mundanely unremarkable.You miss the uncertainty, the novelty & excitementAnd, instead of acknowledging that this is a normal thing, and focusing on new things that get your romantic antennas aroused in every state of the relationship you have been dreaming of since forever, you start doubting it all. You begin searching for novelty in other parts, and, most likely, in other partners.It never even crossed your mind that anything/anyone new, that seems roaringly appealing now will end up in the same tedious routine after a couple of years or less. That perhaps, any affair seems exciting & vibrant simply because it’s a flash appearance and not a regular thing in the days of your life. Or that in the very moment of choosing to make a rule out of a sexy exception you’d be stripping away its allure.I have the perfect example of this: one of my fav leading ladies of all time, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City, was relentlessly looking for love all over New York. She ended up with the one for her - Mr Big, but only after going through the nine circles of dating hell and every major heartbreak a girl can face. In the 2nd movie that followed the series, my girl Carrie is bored to death. She misses the old times, when going out and about was her thing, and the streets of NY were full of promise and fun. She needs more action, while her now hubby, Mr Big, wants to stay at home and watch TV. Turns out married life, with your soul mate, is not so electrifying after all.An expected twist comes into play when, during an exotic trip with her girls, she meets an old flame. She takes up his dinner invitation and ends the night with a kiss, after which her guilt and regret take up the scene and eat her alive.The most valuable lesson from all this mess comes from the character herself: “The minute I kissed Aidan, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?"You see the irony, right? All the love lessons that I swore by came from the movies, then got upstaged by life and yet, I still turn to a movie quote! But if the woman has a point, who am I to disagree?The need for drama is in us and blends perfectly with the belief that what we see on TV, on other people’s social profiles is better and brighter than what we have sitting on the couch. We fool ourselves into thinking this as long as the pictures have nice filters on and a tight bow on top.I’m not saying to give up the lessons, even if they come from fictive characters running around ridiculously expensive shoes. I’m just here to invite you all to fearlessly adjust your own script, to redefine it any age and stay true to your story, even if the script lacks Hollywood glamour. Keep it real, keep it true!It's not age that brings you into marriage, it's love.2. Always keep 20% mystery. Unreserved women, like a movie that has been spoiled, snuffed out the idea of letting men see the ending.3. Cherish the boys who reason with you. Reason for you is that he is seriously planning for your future, and he hopes to create the future with you.4. Material is not the most important factor in emotion, but it must exist.5. Most of the pain in love comes from three expectations:He must be the most perfect, other people's boyfriends can't be better than him, otherwise I'm very sad.He must always miss me and tell me everything, or he will never put me in his heart.He must love me 100% and be considerate to me, otherwise he just doesn't love me.6,Don't try to change each other. Because most people don't succeed in creating a satisfactory partner7. If you want to love someone, learn to love yourself first.8. Women need to be independent forever, both mentally and financially. Because no one likes a person who likes to ask for money from others9. Trust each other. Remember: trust is the knack of maintaining emotions, and suspicion is the shortcut to destroy them.10. To be frank is a necessary quality for a mature love. Hiding will make things more complicated. You can constantly deduct points for him in your heart, but he can't remedy it11. Give him space. Proper space can increase the freshness of love. A person likes potatoes very much, and he will be tired of eating them every day. Similarly, if you stay with a person every day, you will be tired of it.12. Don't take your partner's kindness for granted, and don't lose yourself unilaterally. Only by giving each other can we maintain the balance of emotional income and expenditure.13. Don't be stingy with praise. Boys need a sense of worship.14. Consciously keeping a distance from the opposite sex is respect for your partner.15. Understand each other. When your partner is upset, don't ask why. Try to understand him. If necessary, listen to him. Try to be an understanding partner.16. It is a high-risk bet to covet only one boy to be good to you. The sense of security should be self-sufficient. The right people will not leave you, and the people who leave you are not right.17. Don't talk about breaking up too much.18. No matter of principle, choose to support the other party. Let him do what he likes. The positive feedback of support is that in a relationship, he is willing to show more love.19, communication can solve 90% of contradictions, love can digest 10% of bad emotions.20,Good love must be positive. Let you become worse and worse love, is shit, please stop loss in time.21. Express that you love him ,not necessarily to say, but to let him feel that.Sending him a surprise and cooking a meal for him are all ways to express love.22. Boys prefer girls who say "no" more subconsciously. Men have the desire to conquer, also for a woman is more difficult to follow, they are willing to spend more time and energy on the woman who refused him.23,Don't believe what a man says depends on what he does.If you think my answer is useful, thank you Thumb for me or follow me! Thank U!I've gotten a lot of relationship advice from how to remain self worthy in a relationship to how to have sex. But the most important one I believe I learnt by myself.Compatibility. Pretty much the only thing you need in a relationship for it to work. You and your partner need to be compatible in order for things to work out between you.I guess I do mean a lot of things by being compatible. In order to be compatible, you maybe different from each other, but your ideas should match when it matters, your beliefs must be similar in order for you to take mutual decisions, and even if they aren't, then you need to be able to understand each other, or agree to disagree, peacefully.I used to be in a relationship with a great guy. He looked very good, he treated me well, and he liked me as much as I liked him. BUT things only went well for about 3 or 4 months before we started to realise we used to disagree on many topics. For example, I used to drink and smoke while he had stopped, I was an open person so I used to tell him everything while he kept most things to himself, I have a very close relationship with my mother while he barely tells her anything, I liked wearing my skimpy clothes as I usually do but he wasn't happy about me wearing them when he wasn't around, I used to try to find time off my work and studies to talk to him while he thought it was better to finish his work first and only then talk to me, and I used to introduce him to all my friends while he didn't introduce me to a single one of his, he wanted to have sex but I didn't. If you noticed, none of us are completely wrong here, we just had different ideas and own ways of thinking. And this led to many problems and after about 3 more months we ended things.So you see, you can have different personalities, you could be a summery girl or a indie boy while your partner is a metal head. But when it matters, your thoughts need to sync. Even if you two are bookworms, if either one of you wants dogs instead of kids while the other thinks the opposite, it probably might cause some issues.If you two can understand each other and make things work tho, that makes you compatible too, being willing to change for each other. BUT ONLY if you remain happy after this. If you solve your problems but are unhappy about it, it basically means you are not compatible.Most of my best relationship advice has come through the school of hard knocks. I’m still struggling with some of these but recognize they are critical to finding a healthy relationship.I’ll start with the one that got me most recently.1. Start off slowly. Be wary any time anyone is moving too fast, pushing you to commit too fast and wants all of your time. He or she is not likely interesting in building something genuine and is often trying to “hook you.”My most recent relationship started off this way, and it crashed and burned quickly. He wasn’t looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He was only looking for immediate gratification.2. Look at words and deeds. Pay attention, especially early on, to both of them, and whether they match. If this person says one thing, but his or her actions don’t match, it indicates a lack of integrity.3. Watch how this person talks about other people. Is he or she overly negative and/or critical of others, especially early on? Does this person say things out loud that you would never say? These are devaluing statements, and while right now he or she may be singing your praises, it’s only a matter of time before he or she will be telling you similar things.4. Don’t form a relationship based purely on good sex. Sexual chemistry is absolutely amazing, especially in the beginning, but it does eventually fade/change and you’re left with someone you have nothing in common with.5. Look for someone who can give and take. This is the basis of a lasting, loving relationship. And it goes both ways. You have to be willing to give and take too.6. Look for someone who is genuinely interested in you, who genuinely wants to get to know you. People are often nervous early on, especially on first dates, and may talk too much, but if this person shows no interest in you early on, it will never get better.7. When the warning bells go off, listen to them. Even if those warning bells aren’t very loud, they are there for a reason.8. Don’t proceed with a relationship that you logically know won’t work or know isn’t right for you no matter how you feel about the person. There are often psychological factors, or even tricks, to keep you with someone who isn’t right for you.Now, I'm not an expert. But this is what I read in an article online. Tried to relate it to me. Made total sense! Every point!1. Be together for the right reasons - It's only about the two people. Nothing else matters.Don't think about the money. Don't think about the status. Don't be together just because having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is cool. Be together because you love each other's company.2. Have realistic expectations - Yeah, things get rough! It's never really a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. Do not compare yourselves with what you see in the movies. Be practical!3. Respect the other person - The moment either of you loses respect for the other one, everything changes. And there's probably no comeback.4. Be gentle with trust becauseTrust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.5. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts. And only talk to your partner. Keep others out of it.6. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals - Don't expect your partner to make you happy all the time. It's good if they do. But it's not their job. Do things you like. Don't lay the entire foundation on sacrifice.7. Give each other space - Don't worry about giving too much space. There's never too much space to separate them when the two people love each other. Judging them would be disrespecting them.8. Embrace the change - Both of you will change significantly over the years. You should be able to accept the change. Never lose the respect!9. Fight, but don't let it ruin what you have built together- Never criticize or insult each other- Don't be defensive. Do not blame it on your partner.- Don't make your partner feel inferior- Do not ignore the argument or the partner- Previous fights have nothing to do with this fight- If things get heated, take a breather- Being 'right' is not important. Both people feeling respected and heard is.10. Get good at forgiving - If you're right about an argument, don't brag about it to your partner. Shut up! If you're right, your partner will know. That way they'll feel respected that you didn't act like a jerk.Accept their mistake. Anyway, nobody does it deliberately most of the times.There should be no such thing as 'winning the argument'.11. The little things add up to big things - Be it telling them that you love them before going to bed every night or something that requires some efforts like helping them out with their chores. Or maybe going out for dinners or cooking dinner for your partner.12. Sex matters! - It isn't just to keep your relationship healthy. It can even heal your relationship. It'll keep you close even at times you would want to separate. Too long into separation, and you're divorced.13. Complement each other - Share the load based on the lifestyle/likes/dislikes of you and your partner.If your partner can't stand the smell of the trash, do it for them. If you don't know a thing about cleaning but your partner is like Monica Geller, maybe they can take over that department.14. Have relationship rules - It sounds lame, but studies say it helps. Form your own rules. I'll just cite one example.A couple has made it a habit to have annual reviews where they discuss everything that’s going on in the household that they like and don’t like and what they can do in the coming year to change it.15. Learn to ride the waves - You must be already familiar with the phrase 'Life is a Rollercoaster ride'Highs and lows are a part of it. You might enjoy the highs and will feel like separating when you hit the lows. Just remember, that moment will pass. It's a wave. Celebrate the highs together, deal with the lows together.-That's all! Give it a read. Share it with your partner.Maintaining a relationship is not a lot of work. We make it look like that when we don't pay attention to things like these.