Volunteer Child Abuse Statement 51: Fill & Download for Free

How to Be HappyHappiness is not a simple goal, but is about making progress, when it's as elusive as ever. Being happy often means continually finding satisfaction, contentment, a feeling of joy, and a sense that your life is meaningful during all kinds of problems — that does not depend upon finding ease or comfort.[1]Nobody is jolly or elated all the time, but some individuals are definitely more fulfilled/fortunate than others. Some studies reveal that happiness has little to do with comfort or possessions — so what is it about? A sense of well being/happiness is good for your health, so what can we do to have that?[2]Read on to learn how to be happier.Part One of Three:Developing a Happy Outlook1Change your thoughts. People have a natural tendency to remember negative experiences but forget positive ones; however, thanks to adaptability (neuroplasticity), you can actually change the way your brain functions. You can train yourself to be happier by seeking self-actualizing work and your kind of fun.[3]Practice mindfulness. Occupy your mind with positive thoughts, actively striving, seeking, working on goals and humming a tune, for happy effects on the mind and body. Focusing on your experiences in the present moment without judging them or yourself can help you become more compassionate to yourself and to others.[4][5]Meditate. Activities that promote meditation, including an extended peaceful prayer, yoga, Tai Chi, or spiritual reflection, actually change an area of your brain called the insula,which is involved in your experience of empathy/understanding others. Developing your empathy muscles (helping others) will help you lead a happier life.[6]Make small events into appreciated “experiences.” Focus on and preserve the great little moment in a photo, write a journal or Facebook entry or make a short video. Make awareness of a gorgeous sunny day; accept a compliment from a friend. Why — this will train your brain to be happier by actively acknowledging the beauty of small moments and turning them into memorable “experiences.”Smile a little, hop, skip and sing in those moments, and they will not slip so quietly through the cracks of memory. Say, "Thank you, so much!"; perhaps, write thank you notes on Facebook, use text, email or snail mail, appreciating people in a big way.Advertisement2Look for the positive in all your experiences. The old saying that you find what you look for is true. Start. Because of this, make it a habit to actively seek out the positive in any experience. It’s not only good for your overall happiness, it’s good for your physical health, and boosts your immune system.[7][8]Accept harsh experiences and problems as learning opportunities. It can be tempting to let challenges or roadblocks keep us from feeling happy. Sometimes, it looks like there’s nothing good about a particular situation or experience. However, it’s important to think about even the greatest setbacks as experiences we can learn from for great results in the future/tomorrow.Don't give up on your ideas. "Try, fail often, get over it quickly," says Myshkin Ingawale, in a 2012 TED talk. He discussed his inventing small, inexpensive blood-oxygen and hemoglobin diagnostic technology that now help save women’s lives in rural India. Many ideas were not successful at first. But instead of allowing himself to give up or see these challenges as failures, he used them as learning experiences for his next attempt. Now, his handheld invention for blood analysis has helped reduce maternal deaths from anemia and complications in rural India by 50%.[9]Refocusing on the positive can help you heal from traumas.[10]3Cultivate optimism. Why does winning the lottery not make people happy? In the 1970s, researchers followed people who'd won the lottery and found that a year afterward, they were no happier than people who hadn't. This is called hedonic adaptation,[11] which suggests that we each have a “baseline” of happiness to which we return. No matter what events occur, good or bad, the effect on our happiness is temporary, and happiness tends to quickly revert to the baseline level. Some people have a higher baseline happiness level than others, and that is due in part to genetics, but it's also largely influenced by how you think.There is power in intentions, having a purpose: Positive thinking is an important component of self-esteem and overall life satisfaction.[12]Optimism also tends to make your personal and work relationships better.[13]Optimism is more than just positive expectations. It’s a way of interpreting everything that happens to you.[14]Pessimism tends to explain the world in global, unchangeable, internal terms: “Everything sucks,” “I can’t do anything to change this,” “It’s all my fault.” Developing an optimistic outlook means thinking about yourself and your world in limited, flexible terms.[15]For example, a pessimistic outlook might say, “I’m terrible at math. I’m going to fail that test tomorrow. I might as well just watch TV.” This statement suggests that your math skills are inherent and unchangeable, rather than a skill you can develop with work. Such an outlook could lead you to study less because you feel like there’s no point to it — you’re just an inherently bad mathematics student. This isn’t http://helpful.An optimistic outlook would say something like “I’m concerned about doing well on that test tomorrow, but I’m going to study as well as I can and do my best.” Optimism doesn’t deny the reality of challenges, but it interprets how you approach them differently.“Blind optimism” isn’t any healthier than pessimism. To go skydiving on your own without any preparation or training because you’re optimistic about your abilities is obviously a bad idea that could lead you to injury. True optimism acknowledges the reality of situations and equips you to face them.[16]4Practice active gratitude. A multitude of research confirms that gratitude is good for you. It reduces anxiety and depression, helps you become more positive, strengthens your relationships with others, and encourages compassion.[17][18][19][20] It also has been shown to increase your feelings of happiness.[21]Some people are naturally higher in “trait gratitude,” or the natural likelihood of feeling thankful. However, you can train yourself to develop an “attitude of gratitude” no matter how high or low your level of trait gratitude is.[22]Try to avoid approaching situations or people as if you “deserve” anything from them. This doesn’t mean that you have to put up with disrespect or being mistreated, but it does mean that you should try to take people as they are without feeling “entitled” to specific benefits or actions.[23]Accumulate all the little joyful things that happen to you during the day. They add up. You could keep a journal, and write them down. For example, if there was not bad traffic on the road, if you had a very scrumptious breakfast if your friend said something uproariously humorous that made you laugh, if you took your dog out for a walk in the park and played with it, add these together. You’ll probably find that you have more to be grateful for than you even realized.[24]Share your gratitude with others. A word of thanks, even a brief one, can make someone else feel appreciated. Sharing your gratitude with others also helps you remember what you’re thankful for.[25]Let the good things sink in. It’s not enough to just note good things when they happen. Really take the time to think about them and let those experiences sink into your memory. Consciously telling yourself, “This is a wonderful moment and I want to remember how grateful I feel for it” can help you store up these memories for when times get tough.[26]5Determine your core values. Your core values determine how you think about yourself, your life, and the world around you. These beliefs guide your decision-making. They may be spiritual, or they may not, but they’re the things that are fundamental to how you look at life.[27] For example, “commitment to excellence” could be a value, or “dedication to family” or “belief in a higher power.” Whatever your values are, research suggests that when you aren’t living your life and making choices that are “value-congruent,” i.e., in line with your values, you’re likely to feel unhappy and dissatisfied.[28]Research suggests that when you are consciously aware of your values, you’re more likely to act in accordance with them.[29] Take a little time and reflect on what is most important and meaningful in your life. You can think about times when you felt happiest or most satisfied and what the common factors in those situations may be, for example.[30]Often, employees’ dissatisfaction with their jobs can be traced back to a mismatch in core values. If your company doesn’t value the same things you do, you’ll feel unhappy even if you like your work.[31]Advertisement6Visualize your “best possible self.” This is an exercise that has been shown to increase your feelings of happiness and well-being.[32][33] It involves two basic steps: visualizing how the “future you” looks when you’ve achieved your goals, and identifying the characteristics you need to use (or learn) to get you to where you want to be.[34]Begin by imagining yourself in the future, when you have gotten to where you want to be. Pick a few goals and imagine that you have achieved them. Make sure they’re personally meaningful, not external markers of status.Visualize what this future-you is like. Imagine all the details of what success looks like. For example, if your dream has always been to be a musician, what does success look like for you? How much do you work? Who do you work with? What do you create? How do you feel about your work?Write down all the details of this scenario. Then, imagine what characteristics you will need to use to get you there. For example, becoming a successful musician probably requires things like perseverance, creativity, patience, and energy.Consider which of these traits and skills you already have. You may even surprise yourself with what you already know and can do. When you notice traits or skills that need further development, think about ways you can build up those things.7Show yourself self-compassion.Beating yourself up or giving in to negative thoughts can leave you feeling weak and unhappy. Dwelling on negative thoughts or feelings of guilt doesn’t promote improvement; it actually holds you back from growing and learning. Instead, show yourself the same kindness and generosity you should show to a friend.[35]Manage stress by prioritizing and doing what's more important promptly. Practice deep breathing, exercising and getting enough rest. Even a few minutes a day can make a difference. Do more things to protect your health and make goals/choices that lead to success including stronger relationships and better careers. Start your day with positive affirmations, such as “I accept myself today for who I am” or “I am a person worthy of love and respect.”[36]Take short “self-compassion” breaks throughout the day. For example, if you’re really swamped with work you might feel overwhelmed or guilty. Use mindfulness to acknowledge how you’re feeling: “I am feeling stressed right now because I have so much to do.” Next, acknowledge that everyone experiences these feelings from time to time: “I’m not alone in feeling this. It’s a natural feeling.” Finally, give yourself a quick compassion boost, such as saying something positive to yourself: “I am capable of getting this done. I can focus and work hard. I am a valuable person on this team.”[37]Challenge negative thoughts. We’re often our own worst critics. It can be easy to lapse into self-criticism. Instead, challenge negative thoughts when they show up. For example, if you’re on a diet but had some popcorn at the movies, a self-criticizing thought could be “I ate that popcorn. I’m such a failure on this diet.” Challenge this by showing yourself compassion and making a plan for what you’ll do differently: “I ate that popcorn and it wasn’t part of my healthy eating plan. This isn’t a failure, and I am not ‘bad’ for having had a treat. I will be more mindful of what I eat the rest of the day.”[38]8Heal past traumas. If you find yourself consistently feeling down or upset, you might have some underlying issues from your past holding you back in the present. In the United States a report of child abuse is made about every 10 seconds.[39] This is only accounting for reports of abuse. A lot of abuse and other traumatic childhood experiences go unreported to authorities. Trauma from the past or even just painful circumstances such as the death of a loved one or a bad break-up can cause mild to severe depression. If you have tried everything you can think of to make yourself happier, there is a chance you could be dealing with something along these lines.If you have the resources available to you, consider seeking counseling from a licensed professional. The counselor can help you work through the past trauma or painful memories in healthy and safe ways.[40] A counselor can also make referrals for you if you or the counselor feels an anti-depressant medication (for use temporarily or long term depending on your situation) is appropriate for your case. There is nothing wrong with seeking help! If you are feeling really embarrassed or self-conscious about seeing a counselor, you should know they are bound by very strict privacy and confidentiality laws. No one has to know you are receiving therapy except you and your counselor or doctor. Working through past traumas with a counselor may be difficult at the time, but it will greatly increase your quality of life in the long run.Many communities and universities offer therapy through low-cost public clinics. Check in your area to see if this is an option.Common treatments for trauma include cognitive-behavioral therapy, talk therapy, exposure therapy, and pharmacotherapy.[41] These therapies can help you learn new ways of thinking and responding to situations and process your feelings.If you don’t have access to professional counseling services, you could try using self-help books at your local library or talking to someone you trust about your feelings. Religious ministers and support groups are often places to go for free support. Often just the act of talking things out with someone you love and trust and who will support is a healing act in itself.9Contact a hotline. If things get really bad, there are several free, anonymous hotlines you can turn to. If you are at a low place or just don’t know where to turn, these hotlines can help. Often these hotlines will direct you to local mental health resources in your area if you just ask them. If you just need someone to talk to, remember your call is anonymous and free. The person on the other end of the line is there to help if you need it.The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is: 1-800-273-8255The Crisis Center Hotline is: 775-784-8090 or text ANSWER to 839863.AdvertisementPart 1 QuizWhat are some ways in which you can change your spirit for the better?Practicing mindfulness.Meditation.Appreciating the small things.All of the above.Part Two of Three:Living Happily1Own yourself. This means to accept and embrace your habits, your personality, the way you talk/look, your voice — everything that makes you “you.” Remember that you’re a unique person who has value and is worthy of love and respect. Learning to be comfortable with yourself will help you project confidence to others and live a happier life.Don’t apologize for traits that are part of you, like your personality, your voice, or habits. If there are traits you want to change, make sure you’re doing it for you and not because you feel like someone else has told you to. Make your decisions based on your values, not what others have declared you “should” do or be.[42]Love your body. It’s unfortunate that in today’s world, both men and women are bombarded with images of how we’re “supposed” to look, dress, or behave. These stereotypical “ideals” can cause a lot of harm. (Over 91% of women, for example, feel unhappy with how they look.[43]) Practice finding things to love about your body. Put sticky-notes with affirmations such as “You’re beautiful” or “You’re awesome” on your mirrors. Embrace that bodies come in an infinite variety, and yours is unique to you.Make a list of your strengths. Be honest with yourself. Write down everything that you know or are good at, no matter how “minor” it may seem to you. You can scuba-dive? That’s awesome. You can network with others on a team? Sweet! You can make a frozen pizza without burning down the kitchen? You made some good grades. You sing in the bath. That’s good too!Don’t compare yourself negatively with others. Remind yourself of your options by listing and appreciating small, good or great fun moments that occur. Accept simple fun. For example, if you like to play games for a little while on Saturdays, don’t let others tell you that you’re silly or “too old” for things that bring you fun and relaxation. As long as your activities don’t cause you or other people pain or harm, don’t feel guilty about doing things you like — no matter what other people suggest.2Set meaningful goals for yourself.Take a good long look at your life, your values, and the person you want to be. Set goals that are meaningful to you and accord with your core values. Research suggests you’re more likely to achieve these goals and feel happier having done so.[44] Ask yourself some big questions, like “How do I want to grow?” or “What impact do I want to have on the world?”[45]Be realistic. If you’re five feet tall, your chances of stardom as a professional basketball player aren’t great. Making realistic goals doesn’t mean you have to limit yourself to what you know or can do now, just that you acknowledge your situation and abilities when you’re making your plans.[46]Keep your goals action-oriented. It’s vital that you set goals that you can achieve. Remember that you can’t control what anyone else does or thinks, only what you do. Don’t set a goal that relies on others’ actions for success.[47]Frame your goals positively. You’re more likely to achieve your goals if they’re framed as something you’re working toward, not something you’re running away from.[48] For example, if you want to exercise more, don’t tell yourself to “Stop sitting around so much.” This kind of goal statement is negative and will make you feel negative. Instead, choose a positive goal that emphasizes action: “Take a 30-minute walk three times a week.”3Choose extra activities that make you feel better. When you have time or make time, do your favorite hobby or go outside for a little time to enjoy fresh air. For example, walk your dog or go jogging or play basketball or golf, bowl or swim. The main thing to do is to choose to relax and also to keep yourself functional.Scientists have tried for years to develop a formula for happiness, and it turns out that being “chronically happy” (that is, feeling that long-term satisfaction and contentment) does have a formula. Scientists estimate that the perfect formula goes something like this: 50% genetic factors (biology, brain chemistry, etc.), 10% circumstantial factors (income, job, living situation), and 40% intentional activity (what you choose to do and think regularly).[49] Choosing activities and experiences that are personally meaningful will really make a difference in your happiness level.The ability to choose is very important for happiness. In one study, participants either chose their own positive activity or had one assigned to them. The participants who chose their own activity and regularly participated in it were happier than participants who weren’t allowed to choose their own. If you feel like your life is restricting your choices, try to find ways to incorporate more freedom in your life.[50]Studies have shown that feeling “awe,” or that feeling of overwhelming positivity when we see a beautiful work of art or visit a natural wonder, promotes happiness and well-being.[51]When you can, indulge in activities that promote that feeling of wonderment and amazement in your own life, such as listening to an incredible piece of music or going on a hike.4Focus on people, positive relationships, not on things. The path to continuing happiness doesn’t lie through an iPhone or a fancy car (like a new toy). In fact, research suggests that people who are focused on material things are often trying to make up for other, unfulfilled needs in their lives.[52] Materialistic people are often less happy with themselves and their lives than people who are less focused on “stuff.”[53] It’s fine to appreciate what you have, but remember that things won’t bring you joy. They may even increase your likelihood of feeling sad or fearful.[54]Of course, you need to make enough money to meet basic needs — food, shelter, and clothing. If you’re living in poverty, you are far more likely to experience sadness and frustration than people who are economically comfortable, largely because of all the stress you’re under.[55] Once you make enough to support basic needs, however, your happiness is not significantly affected by how much money you make, but by your level of optimism.[56]5Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Studies show that humans can’t help but fall victim to the hedonic treadmill. We rapidly adjust to change, even positive changes, and treat whatever’s in our lives as the new status quo.[57] That's why it's important to push beyond your comfort zone to fuel personal growth.Research has consistently shown that we’re more productive when we’re justoutside our comfort zone.[58] This is called the zone of “optimal anxiety,” and it pushes us to take risks and try harder because we’re unfamiliar with our situation. However, if you go too far outside your comfort zone too fast, your performance will plummet again. Look for a balance of stability and trying new things.[59]Taking risks and stepping outside your comfort zone offers many rewards. One of the most relevant for your happiness is increased resilience, or how you deal with unexpected challenges. By routinely challenging yourself to push past your comfort limits, you develop the adaptability and flexibility to handle change when it arises.[60]6Smile. Science suggests that when you smile, whether you're happy or not, your mood is elevated. This is especially true if all your facial muscles, including the ones around your eyes, get involved.[61] So smile whenever you can! Smiling is like a feedback loop: smiling reinforces happiness, just as happiness causes smiling. People who smile during painful procedures reported less pain than those who kept their facial features neutral.[61]Smiling releases endorphins, which are associated with pain relief, and serotonin, which is associated with happy feelings.Remember that different cultures interpret smiling differently. For example, Russian culture views smiling at strangers in the street as suspicious, while Americans will readily smile at almost anyone.[62] Smile at others, but don’t get offended if they don’t return your gesture — they may just have different traditions than you do.7Follow your intuition. In one study, two groups of people were asked to pick a poster to take home. One group was asked to analyze their decision, weighing pros and cons, and the other group was told to listen to their gut. Two weeks later, the group that followed their gut was happier with their posters than the group that analyzed their decisions.[63] Granted, some of our decisions are more crucial than picking out posters, but often the options we’re agonizing over won’t have a huge effect on our long-term happiness. The stress of weighing all the options endlessly can make us unhappy, though.Intuition can be honed by experience. For example, experienced nurses are often good at identifying symptoms in an individual and using a combination of their medical knowledge and intuition — built up from past experiences — to make the right decisions for their patients.[64]Obviously, if you’re a brand-new nurse, your intuition isn’t going to be as good as someone with more experience. However, if you’re dealing with something that you’re pretty familiar with — or that doesn’t have huge consequences — go with your gut. You’ll be right more often than not.Follow intuition in three domains or areas by using: your experience (heuristics); natural thinking relevantly, and incorporating your feeling, desires and satisfaction into decision-making.[65] “Intuition” includes how your brain automatically stores and processes information relevant to your life and how you handle events.Enjoy learning something on your own using your experiences (heuristics) — and draw on those experiences when making a decision.If you are trying to buy a new car, you already have a set of assumptions (schemas) you are taking with you into the decision-making process (domain) before you set foot at a dealership.You observe others' body language, vocal tone/inflections, moods and emotions (affect) associated with the decision you're attempting, and all contribute to your intuition, making your intuition more reliable than what some skeptics suggest.[66]Start with the small decisions first. Start with small decisions and practice following your gut so that you know exactly what following your intuition feels like. The more you practice this, the more in-tune you will be with that gut instinct.8Treat your body like it deserves to be happy. Your brain isn't the only organ in your body that deserves to be happy. Assure vigorous exercise, a healthy diet, and regular sleep — key factors in growing to be happier and to stay that way. Achieve high levels of life satisfaction, better physical health, for improved longevity.[67]People who are physically active have higher incidences of enthusiasm and excitement.[68] Scientists hypothesize that exercise causes the brain to release chemicals called endorphins that elevate our mood.Eat right. Eating healthy foods — fruits and vegetables, lean meats and proteins, whole grains, nuts, and seeds — gives your body and brain the energy it needs to be healthy. Research indicates that unhealthy diets, especially those rich in processed carbohydrates, sugars, and industrial vegetable fats, is responsible for some cell death, brain shrinkage and contributes to certain diseases like depression and dementia.[69]Get enough restful sleep. Study after study confirms it: the more sleep you get, the happier you tend to be.[70]Getting just a single extra hour of sleep per night makes the average person happier than making $60,000 more in annual income, astoundingly enough.[71] Research has also showed that employees who get enough rest are more productive and successful.[72] So if you're middle-aged, shoot to get at least eight hours of sleep per night; the young and elderly should shoot for 9 to 11 hours of sleep per night.[73]AdvertisementPart 2 QuizTrue or False: Pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone can help you feel happier.True. Stepping outside of your comfort zone will help you become more productive, which can help you feel happier.False. You must stay within your comfort zone in order to feel safe and stay happy.Part Three of Three:Interacting with Others1Stay close to friends and family. We live in a mobile society, where people follow jobs around the country and sometimes around the world. We do this because we think salary increases make us happier, but in fact, our relationships with friends and family have a far greater impact on happiness. So next time you think about relocating, consider that you'd need a salary increase of over $100,000 USD to compensate for the loss of happiness you'd have from moving away from friends and family.If it isn’t possible to move closer to your loved ones, communicate with them regularly. Technology such as cell phones and Skype make it easy to stay in touch with the people you love even when they’re on the other side of the world.2Be compassionate. Compassion is all about doing something kind for someone in need, or someone less privileged than yourself. A brain-imaging study (where scientists peek into people's brains while they act or think) revealed that people gain as much happiness from watching others give to charity as they do receive money themselves![74] Think of effective ways that you can make your community or the world a better place by being compassionate. Compassion is a key part of sustainable happiness, and it’s also really good for your health.[75]Tutor, volunteer, or get involved in a church group. Countless children are looking for someone to teach them and act as a role model.Make a microloan. A microloan is when you give someone (usually in the developing world) a very small sum of money for an economic project of their own. Many microloans have 95%+ repayment rates.[76]Give a person in need food, clothing or shelter, if it would be safe. It's so basic, we often forget to think about it, yet so easy to do.Increase the happiness of those around you by giving small gifts. This will increase your happiness as well - in fact, the one giving the gift usually feels a larger pulse of dopamine (the neurotransmitter responsible for feeling happiness) than the person receiving the gift! [77]Try loving-kindness meditation. This type of meditation stems from Buddhist traditions that focus on increasing compassion for others.[78]Studies have shown that this type of meditation can reduce feelings of sadness and depression.[79][80]3Make friends. In a 2010 study published by Harvard researchers in American Sociological Review, people who went to church regularly reported greater life satisfaction than those who didn't. The critical factor was the quality of friendships made in church. Church-goers who lacked close friends there were no happier than people who never went to church. When researchers compared people who had the same number of close friends, those who had close friends from church were more satisfied with their lives. This research shows just how important it is to make friends with similar values and outlooks as you. It doesn’t matter what your interests and beliefs are. Finding something you're deeply passionate about and making friends with those who share similar interests will result in the same http://intimacy.Be a peacemaker. If your ideas and understandings would continue dissension in a family squabble, or in your group of friends, or at a meeting of an organization such as on the job in a workplace, or in a church group, do something else. Be agreeable as much as it is up to you, applying yourself where you can be happy without unnecessary argument, anger and discord. Don't insist on getting your way/preferences in a personality conflict, on shades of meaning and adversarial issues at the expense of the order and peace of the group and your own happiness.Interact with people who share your interests, and feel happier due to sensations of reward and well-being. This is because during such interactions, serotonin and dopamine — neurotransmitters responsible for feelings of happiness and relaxation — are released into the body. In other words, your body is designed to feel happier when engaged in social interactions.[81]4Have deep, meaningful conversations.A study by a psychologist at the University of Arizona has shown that spending less time participating in small talk, and more time in deep, meaningful conversations can increase happiness. [82]Meaningful conversations move past the surface level of informative “small talk.” These conversations discuss your ideas about love, life, hopes, and dreams.Psychologist Arthur Aron has done a lot of work on how to generate meaningful communication between people. His work recently made a splash with the idea of “36 questions to fall in love.” While this media representation isn’t quite the way the research works, Aron’s questions do ask deep, probing things about the other person, which leads to a stronger feeling of intimacy and connection.[83]Share your happiness with friends. Studies have shown that people who openly share their positive feelings with others have greater social connection than people who don’t share. The next time you experience something wonderful, go start a conversation about it with a friend. It’ll bring you closer together and make you both happier.[84]5Find happiness in the kind of work you do now, even while you are seeking a new career. Many people expect the new job or career to dramatically change their level of happiness. But research makes it clear that your levels of optimism and quality of relationships surpass the satisfaction gained from your job.[85]If you have a positive outlook, you will make the best of any job; and if you have good relationships, you won't depend on your job for a sense of meaning. You'll find meaning in interactions with the people you care about. You'll use your job as a crutch instead of relying on it for meaning.Find your flow at work. Flow is a state of mind where a person is fully absorbed in what they are doing. They have next to no trouble concentrating on the activity because the activity is challenging enough to hold their attention but not so challenging that it exhausts them. This might not be possible for every activity you do, but find ways to make it happen frequently and try out different strategies to make it work. Some people find their flow by using a timer to keep them focused for a set amount of time and others find their flow by setting up the work environment a certain way. Find what works for you. Studies have shown that employees who can find their flow have greater work satisfaction.[86]This is not to say you shouldn't aspire to get a job that will make you happier; many people find that being on the right career path is a key determination in their overall happiness. It just means you should understand that the capacity of your job to make you happy is quite small when compared to your outlook and your relationships.6Forgive. In a study of college students, an attitude of forgiveness contributed to better cardiovascular health. You could say forgiveness literally heals the heart. While it is unknown how forgiveness directly affects your heart, the study suggests that it may lower the perception of stress.[87] Yet despite its many benefits, it’s incredibly hard to do. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to learn forgiveness.[88][89]Remember that forgiveness is something you do for you, not for the other person. Holding on to anger and hate can cause you immense hurt. And forgiveness doesn’t mean denying that the other person did something wrong. For example, consider Auschwitz survivor Eva Kor, who has publicly forgiven the Nazi guard who kept her and many others imprisoned during the Holocaust. She has said, “I forgave the Nazis not because they deserve it but because I deserve it.” She forgave her abusers because she didn’t want to carry the burden of anger with her, but they are still wrong for their actions.[90]Forgiveness also doesn’t mean continuing to put up with mistreatment. You can forgive someone for treating you wrongly and still take steps to make sure they don’t do it again.Think about what you want to forgive. How does that wrong make you feel? You may wish to write down your thoughts and feelings.Reflect on the experience. What could have been done differently? Can you learn from this experience? What would you want from the other person?Write a letter to the people you want to forgive. What did they do that hurt you and why are you forgiving them? What do you want for them now? Where do you stand in the relationship? You don’t even have to mail these letters if you don’t want to; simply writing them can be a way to express your forgiveness to yourself.Remember that forgiveness isn’t conditional. If you make forgiveness contingent on a particular result or action, you could be waiting forever. It can be hard to forgive others because they may never admit or suffer consequences from their wrongdoing. Value forgiveness as a way to let go of something that can hurt you, not as a way to ensure anything happens to the other person.Forgiveness can be a very spiritual experience. Studies show a clear correlation between “state forgiveness” (the act of forgiving something), self-forgiveness, and a sense of sacredness. By practicing forgiveness, you may end up discovering something sacred about yourself or the world around you.[91]AdvertisementPart 3 QuizWhat are some ways in which you can interact with others in order to improve your happiness?Engage in small talk. Avoid deep, meaningful conversations, as they can be too draining.Be more compassionate and giving. Sometimes, helping others can help you feel better about yourself.Focus on the job you want, and if you are unhappy with your current one, focus on your unhappiness and use it to fuel your job search.Forgive those who hurt you, and accept the way they are treating you.You're helping people by reading wikiHowwikiHow's mission is to help people learn, and we really hope this article helped you. Now you can help others, just by visiting wikiHow.We're proud to partner with BUILD, a program that prepares students for success in high school, college, careers and beyond through entrepreneurship. BUILD students collaborate to create real businesses, and learn how to do everything from researching competitors to marketing their ideas.Click below to let us know you read this article, and wikiHow will donate to BUILD on your behalf. Thanks for helping us achieve our mission of helping everyone on the planet learn how to do anything.Yes, I read the articleCommunity Q&AQuestionHow can I feel happy always?Jessica B. CaseyM.A, Clinical Mental Health CounselingExpert AnswerFeeling happy all the time would be wonderful; however, it isn’t realistic. Humans have a broad range of emotions for every life occurrence, and although they don’t all feel good in the moment, they are important in how we process thoughts and emotions, and how we cope and relate to others. Instead, strive for contentment, commitment, and perseveranceQuestionHow do you learn to love yourself?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerThink about everything that makes you yourself. The good, the bad, everything. Make a list, write it all down. Every day, look at that list. Read it to yourself in the mirror. Think about yourself without any one of these qualities and see how different you would be. Don't care about what other people think of you. Just wake up every day with a smile and be the best you you can be.QuestionI have become a very negative person. How can I change this?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerThink about why you are being negative in the first place. Then, you might see it wasn't for the best reason ever. Also, "just be positive" is not a good way to think of this because you will feel pressured by positivity which will make you even more negative. When you start to think negative thoughts, catch yourself and either stop the thought process or attempt to change it into a more positive outlook.QuestionHow do I avoid negative thoughts?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerPractice repeating a positive thought to yourself every time you think a negative one. This will be tough at first, and it's best done alongside other mood elevation techniques. Try meditation, exercise, or doing something you love.QuestionHow do you become the person you wish to be?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerConsider the elements of your personality and talents that you most care about and that make you happy. Work on enhancing those and giving them the best opportunities to shine. Remember that all human beings are a balance though; some of your less desirable traits will surface on occasion but the trick is knowing how to manage them successfully.QuestionHow do I get over my ex, whom I love the most?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerTry to communicate with others you love, get a hobby, and try to forgive, because letting go is easier than holding on. Smile as much as possible, even if you're not that happy, and attempt to care about yourself and your health, as well as others.QuestionI've moved to a new city and I'm lonely. How do I cheer myself up?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerCalls back home will only take you so far. Sieze opportunities to meet and befriend new people, including finding a group of people who share your hobby, or who will teach you a new one.QuestionHow can I be happy when my crush is in a relationship and she's the only one I care about?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerFind more people to care about. Focus on people you already know, and love them. Make new friends, and love them too. Love is not just a feeling: it is an action.QuestionCan I be happy without sex?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerAbsolutely! Focus on your relationships with others, your hobbies, and the things you're grateful for. Plenty of celibate and asexual people lead happy and fulfilling lives.QuestionHow do I find out who I really am?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerWhat would you do if you had no obstacles and there was no chance of failure? Answer that question and you'll be on your way to figuring out your personal outlook and goals.TipsDon't replay bad experiences of your life except to understand the events. Think often about the good ones and the new ones; remember every day is a new chance.Talk about love, dreams or anything that makes you feel happy.Avoid dwelling on negative emotions and practice being positive. If being around someone is making you feel bad, avoid that person if possible.Working toward your own personal goals, don't confuse yours goals with ones of parents or friends, but follow your vision. Goals can propel you to move forward instead of procrastinating/wandering. Figure out what will make you feel accomplishment, and make one step at a time to get there.You feel the way you think. A simple way to look at this is the following equation:(activating event) + (beliefs) = (consequence.)A + B = CThis means an external triggering event alone will only contribute to making you feel sad, anxious, fearful or any other emotion. Your beliefs also contribute along with the triggering event to how you feel. So changing the way you look at things (such as an attitude) will result in a big change in how you feel in response to situations that trigger negative emotions in you. As a rule of thumb, remember that anything that makes you feel bad for longer than than several minutes is self-inflicted. It's your thought process, and not just the actual event that largely makes you feel the way you do (a concept from cognitive behavioral therapy).Don't be ashamed; when and if you fall, get back up and dust yourself off and go again... Remember that most of what you're stressing over now will be irrelevant in a year. And when you had a bad day there is always a new chance to make next time or tomorrow better. When you fall, you may get a scratch or a broken bone but it will heal.Take deep breaths, and smile, even if there is nothing to smile about. Relaxation and meditation or prayer can be very helpful, if you believe in it. To relax, start by flexing your toes, feet and continue up the leg, and up to each area of your entire body, doing tensing up and then relaxing your neck, jaw/mouth, face and finally wiggling your scalp muscles. Even getting a massage is a way of taking just a bit of time out for yourself, as a way to reward yourself for all that you do.Try to love others as you love yourself a little more. Happiness stems from feeling good about the things around you and how they affect you. Look in the mirror, and feel happy that this one who is looking back at you is a survivor.Don't let what people do or say to you affect you negatively. If somebody says something to insult you, do not respond back, as they will tend to bother you more. Avoid such people.Don't ever be bored with who you are. Choose to appreciate your opportunity. Boredom is a personal problem. Be proactive. Take action to improve issues. Always look on the bright side. The past is gone and you can't change it. No one can. Be purposely cheerful and talk positively, then people will enjoy being around you, and you can enjoy their appreciation!Talk it out with someone that you trust, if you are unhappy, even if you don't know why. The exchange of ideas and feelings is healing and usually provides some level of satisfaction or peace.Know your worth. Focus on making the best out of each goal you have. Keep reinventing yourself/never settling back for long, while applying yourself on any goals and opportunities you make.Be content with who you are because nobody's 'the perfect one'. Finding time for you is important. Think about how lucky you are, by expressing gratefulness for anything you have.Happiness/Joy is a choice. It depends on you, whether you would rather sulk in the darkness than appreciate the many little things life has to offer.Know the thing which makes you happy whenever you do it. It may be listening music, painting, writing poetry and do it whenever you are depressed. Give your self a hug and appreciate that you got chosen to live and do something great!WarningsDon't focus too much on life's occasional happy/unhappy moments, but look toward something everlastingAbout This ArticLicensed Professional CounselorThis article was co-authored by Paul Chernyak, LPC. Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

We should put forth objective items first and foremost - dealing in facts is always better, no? Absolutes like “virtually all” and putting forth your view of 3rd wave feminism + large ideas like “race issues” with a blanket statement like “I cannot agree with them on” is probably not what one has in mind.Also, remember that the United States, Conservatism, Liberalism and Feminism are big things. There’s tons of room for a lot of things to go on at once.So, let’s start here -The current Republican Platform: https://prod-static-ngop-pbl.s3.amazonaws.com/media/documents/DRAFT_12_FINAL[1]-ben_1468872234.pdfThe current NOW Issues List: National Organization for WomenI would encourage a reading of both seriously before committing to labels. However, let’s read up on the ideas that you identified v. the current platform.#1. Wage Gap. NOW Advocates this under Economic Justice.Economic Justice is defined as follows: NOW advocates for wide range of economic justice issues affecting women, from the glass ceiling to the sticky floor of poverty. These include welfare reform, livable wages, job discrimination, pay equity, housing, social security and pension reform, and much more.Do conservatives care about these issues? Let’s check the platform:On Breaking the Glass Ceiling: We reiterate our support for both the advancement of women in the military and their exemption from direct ground combat units and infantry battalions… Military readiness should not be sacrificed on the altar of political correctness.That’s right. The official party of conservatives wants to reverse the Pentagon decision. Two Women successfully completed Army Ranger training - something less than 10% of soldiers can complete - which makes a confusing argument for “political correctness.” After all, if you can complete the training, what is the politically correct issue being met?We’re not the first country to allow women in combat roles, so this is not new territory. We’ve also redefined warfare, making 1940’s arguments mostly moot. With an all-volunteer army and our need for readiness, how does a conservative deny anyone that can prove their physical and mental fitness?On Livable Wages: Our economy has become unnecessarily weak with stagnant wages. People living paycheck to paycheck are struggling, sacrificing, and suffering. BUT Minimum wage is an issue that should be handled at the state and local level.I’m going to make a personal appeal to all conservatives that are truly fiscal conservatives right now. That up there is craziness. That whole “we care about your wages, but we really don’t want to do anything about it” is not a sovereignty of the states issue. That is 100% straight up watching someone get beat up in the streets and hoping someone else might call 911…or something.Please look at real impacts and real economists - stop believing that the impact of raising the minimum wage is lost jobs, massive price hikes and Mad-Max wastelands. Studies look at what happened when cities raised minimum wage Remember, the United States is a consumer-driven economy. The closer you are to the bottom, the more likely you are to spend 100% of your paycheck. This is more money spread out into the economy, which can create more jobs. The costs tend to be negligible and the rewards high. That’s what you’re supposed to want in business - low cost/high reward. If a wealthy business individual is spending less than 100% of their funds and they’re given more funds in the form of tax breaks/bonuses, the notion that this is going to be put back into the economy without additional demand drivers is a bit like thinking the fish population will explode if we just build more ships.On Job Discrimination: We denounce bigotry, racism, anti-Semitism, ethnic prejudice, and religious intolerance. Therefore, we oppose discrimination based on race, sex, religion, creed, disability, or national origin and support statutes to end such discrimination.Wow - as conservatives, you nearly agree 100% with NOW on this issue. Save one little thing and a big sneaky thing:Little thing - SPOILER - not so little. The Conservative platform leaves out sexual orientation. Want to know how they feel about it really - check out this under their sort-of support for Title IX - That same provision of law is now being used by bureaucrats — and by the current President of the United States — to impose a social and cultural revolution upon the American people by wrongly redefining sex discrimination to include sexual orientation or other categories. Their agenda has nothing to do with individual rights; it has everything to do with power. They are determined to reshape our schools — and our entire society — to fit the mold of an ideology alien to America’s history and traditions.The sneaky thing - SPOILER - also not so little. It’s a bit buried between the lines, but notice the religious intolerance call-out and the support of statutes? Know what they’re aiming for in there? That’s under their First Amendment support (which skips over Press, Speech & Assembly) and notes this: We endorse the First Amendment Defense Act, Republican legislation in the House and Senate which will bar government discrimination against individuals and businesses for acting on the belief that marriage is the union of one man and one woman. BONUS This Act would protect the non-profit tax status of faith-based adoption agencies, the accreditation of religious educational institutions, the grants and contracts of faith-based charities and small businesses…FYI, text of 1st Amendment: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.I am perplexed as to how these purport to show off Conservative values, especially Constitutional Conservative values. We have no law establishing a national religion and everyone can absolutely be free to practice their religion. Where the rub comes in is where it comes in for everyone - whether your personal faith and choice of daily vocation are in conflict and how you’ll attempt to reconcile such activity. That’s Ethics 101. If one has decided that they must be completely orthodox when it comes to serving sinners and their religious teachers have offered no leeway or additional guidance, then this reconciliation will likely be a difficult path - much as it is for many of the most orthodox followers.It should also be noted that the farther one travels over attempting to legislate the ability to discriminate (call it what you will), the further one’s party will distance themselves from the young, college educated, female and wealthy - those most likely to support the LGBTQ community - Section 2: Long-Term Views of Homosexuality, Gay Marriage and Adoption While popular support is never the sole reason to support something, when your arguments are largely supported through religious argument and unsupported by scientific evidence and the vast majority of your supporters are over the age of 65 (and remember a time that LGBTQ individuals were literally criminals), you might want to take a look at why your party has decided to take a stance that they will have to reverse at a point where it will be embarrassing to have waited so long. This is simple branding.On Pay Equity: You’re right, there is nothing in the platform on this whatsoever.But here’s the deal. There’s been much that’s been said about the 77 cents not being a true number. Crunching numbers abound and there’s much that’s said about how women take time off from work, how women fail to negotiate as much and how women take more time off from work.Is that because women don’t really want to succeed? Or is it because gender roles are still so tightly defined that the notion that a family would sit down and decide who would take the time off for children and child-rearing is still considered “strange” in 2016? That this seems like a wacky feminist issue is also sad. This is a family issue. Even those without children should care about this, as they’ll eventually find their female co-workers with children unfairly burdened with child-rearing responsibilities above and beyond their male co-workers with children.I tried to find examples of supporting child care and/or maternity/paternity leave in the platform, but there is none. Mostly, there’s a ton on mom & dad households and making sure no one has access to abortion. Oh, and a lot on the reform desperately needed in public schools due to the lack of prayer and religion and common core.Honestly, though. As a Conservative, don’t you want to see everyone getting paid what they should get paid? Do you really want anyone on the planet as a worker getting shafted in some type of sneaky negotiation game that only exists for a select few? If you truly have the same background and skills as the next guy when you’re hired, you should be paid the same. This is trading a 5-minute quickie win in for the long-term loss. People do know when things aren’t fair. Heck, even Capuchins know it:Know what this does long term? It weakens the economy? That’s billions and billions in lost wages, lost intellectual capital for the companies that women leave for greener pastures. Not to mention, each time we attempt to intellectualize behavior like this, it allows for all sorts of these slights against people in general. Either we want to be a society of asshats or we want to be better people. We can and should always strive for such things.On Housing: The Federal Housing Administration, which provides taxpayer-backed guarantees in the mortgage market, should no longer support high income individuals, and the public should not be financially exposed by risks taken by FHA officials. We will end the government mandates that required Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and federally insured banks to satisfy lending quotas to specific groups. Discrimination should have no place in the mortgage industry. Zoning decisions have always been, and must remain, under local control. The current Administration is trying to seize control of the zoning process through its Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing regulation. It threatens to undermine zoning laws in order to socially engineer every community in the country.So, there’s a lot to unpack in the Conservative platform. It is anti-discrimination, but also anti Fair Housing regulation. They want us to know this is a program to socially engineer our communities - somehow. Plus bonus claims of supporting the rich & lending quotas.Let’s unpack these things so we can be sure of what the Conservative platform really is:The FHA support of high-income individuals. First and foremost, FHA is not a lender. It’s a loan-insurer. Buyers have to have a 640 minimum FICO score to qualify. It does allow for lower down payments (3% - 6%). Loans in excess of $625,000 have higher insurance premiums. The low down payment is why many high-income individuals are attracted to the FHA loan; many individuals feel this is not in the spirit of the program.FHA Risks are high. The FHA insurance fund is well above their mandated reserve amounts. What the FHA does is insure about 15% of mortgages in the US. Not to go all tin-foil, but outside of vague notions of “could be a bubble” - which no agency in government can possibly escape - if one starts looking at bank and mortgage donations, it could be noted that ensuring high-income and a larger portion of other individuals are pushed away from the FHA into banks/mortgage companies helps bottom lines that involve stockholders.Lending Quotas for Banks: This sounds terrible, right? Only it’s not. It’s a guarantee that low-income borrowers that qualify will get loans - and by low-income, they mean middle class. If the Banks will be receiving federal insurance (which they benefit from), they are also going to help their community: 24 percent of mortgages should be bought by Freddie or Fannie for homes for low-income borrowers, or those with incomes no greater than 80 percent of an area’s median income. Wrap your head around that oppressive stat. 1/4 of your borrowers should be in the bottom 80% of income earners for an area. Meaning 3/4ths of your borrowers can be in the top 20%. Keep this in mind: In percentage terms, 51% of adults lived in middle-income households, 29% in lower-income households and 20% in upper-income households. There is a lower-income qualifier - 6 percent of mortgages for borrowers considered very low income, who have incomes no greater than 50 percent of the median income of the area.Socially engineering the community: AFFH - Under the rule, any jurisdiction that receives money from the HUD must analyze its housing occupancy by race, class, English proficiency, and other categories. It must then analyze factors which contribute to any imbalance, and formulate a plan to remedy the imbalance. The plan can be approved or disapproved by HUD. Keep in mind, their defense to this is “Zoning Laws” - none of which can cover race, class, English Proficiency or the very-thin-ice “other categories.”Now that we’ve unpacked the platform, this is the deal: The Conservative Platform attempts to draw conclusions without asking questions. Not the least of which is whether or not heavily segregated communities today are the result of social engineering that comes from systemic racism.Why is this a feminist issue? Because a lot of barriers to fair housing/home ownership/the so-called bad neighborhoods impact women to a disproportionate degree. That the notion of just studying the actual demographics of a city and analyzing why it settles in such a way is so unsettling to someone doesn’t speak of Conservative values - it speaks of fear. Frankly, this will lead to uncomfortable questions for everyone. However, if communities utilize this information, plan and improve their way of life for everyone (there will be impact studies), how is the increased achievement of individual success across the board not a Conservative Value?On Social Security and Pension reform: As Republicans, we oppose tax increases and believe in the power of markets to create wealth and to help secure the future of our Social Security system. Saving Social Security is more than a challenge. It is our moral obligation to those who trusted in the government’s word.Okay, so they’re sneaking in room for privatization, but it seems that Feminists and Conservatives believe in Social Security. There’s also one line about Pension portability.Feminism isn’t some off-the-wall thing, nor is it something that ended with the ability to sign your own lease or get your own credit card. Feminism believes in a lot of economic issues that are harder on women. With retirement today, we still have a number of women that spent no time in the formal workplace or took significant time off to raise children. This means that they depend on support from spousal retirement plans or from relatives. As we continue to push more women to child-rearing responsibilities and set up systems that make it more difficult for men and women to make realistic daycare choices, we’ll find more women depending heavily on programs like social security.#2. Rape Culture. NOW Advocates this under Violence Against Women.NOW Statement: NOW is unique in its approach to the issue of violence against women, emphasizing that there are many interrelated aspects to the issue — domestic violence; sexual assault; sexual harassment; violence at abortion clinics; hate crimes across lines of gender, sexuality and race; the gender bias in our judicial system that further victimizes survivors of violence; and the violence of poverty emphasized by the radical right’s attacks on poor women and children — all of which result from society’s attitudes toward women and efforts to “keep women in their place.”I would like to give you the party platform items on a number of these items:Domestic Violence: We celebrate the millions of Americans who open their hearts, homes, churches to mothers in need and women fleeing abuse.Sexual Assault: Sexual assault is a terrible crime. We commend the good-faith efforts by law enforcement, educational institutions, and their partners to address that crime responsibly. Whenever reported, it must be promptly investigated by civil authorities and prosecuted in a courtroom, not a faculty lounge. Questions of guilt or innocence must be decided by a judge and jury, with guilt determined beyond a reasonable doubt. Those convicted of sexual assault should be punished to the full extent of the law. The Administration’s distortion of Title IX to micromanage the way colleges and universities deal with allegations of abuse contravenes our country’s legal traditions and must be halted before it further muddles this complex issue and prevents the proper authorities from investigating and prosecuting sexual assault effectively with due process.Sexual Harassment:Violence at Abortion Clinics:Hate Crimes Across Lines of Gender: they address one instance of “hate” issues: We support the right of the people to conduct their businesses in accordance with their religious beliefs and condemn public officials who have proposed boycotts against businesses that support traditional marriage. We pledge to protect those business owners who have been subjected to hate campaigns, threats of violence, and other attempts to deny their civil rights.Sexuality: That language opened up for girls and women a world of opportunities that had too often been denied to them. That same provision of law is now being used by bureaucrats — and by the current President of the United States — to impose a social and cultural revolution upon the American people by wrongly redefining sex discrimination to include sexual orientation or other categories.Race: As the Party of Abraham Lincoln, we must continue to foster solutions to America’s difficult challenges when it comes to race relations today. We continue to encourage equality for all citizens and access to the American Dream.Gender bias in our judicial system that further victimizes survivors of violence:Violence of poverty: We oppose policies and laws that create a financial incentive for or encourage cohabitation. Moreover, marriage remains the greatest antidote to child poverty…Republicans propose to evaluate a poverty program by whether it actually reduces poverty and increases the personal independence of its participants… Poverty, not wealth, is the gravest threat to the environment, while steady economic growth brings the technological advances which make environmental progress possible.Keep Women in Their Place: We renew our call for replacing “family planning” programs for teens with sexual risk avoidance education that sets abstinence until marriage as the responsible and respected standard of behavior. That approach — the only one always effective against premarital pregnancy and sexually-transmitted disease — empowers teens to achieve optimal health outcomes.Reading this - and the lack of statements - should let you know what the shorthand “rape culture,” which leads to the larger issue of violence against women. It’s a pervasive issue that is not only about women who suffer violence, but a society that has several growing dark corners that can openly treat women as “less than” which allows for a de-humanization of victims to the point of vilification.Breaking this down:The only acknowledgement in the entire platform of domestic violence is a hearty thank-you to people taking in victims. This is because the Conservative platform wants to take away the notion that an abused girlfriend/wife that may have also been raped should be highly discouraged from considering abortion. That’s the entire context of caring about domestic abuse - trying to encourage individuals to give beaten pregnant women a place to go because of the fetus.Sexual Assault. This probably reads really strange. Why? Because this is the bathroom bill. See, we don’t have a platform against Sexual Assault per se, we just have one if we can perpetuate the stereotype that all transgender individuals are sexual superpredators and not fellow women looking to pee.Sexual Harassment. It’s either all fixed from the Conservative viewpoint or totally not worth talking about ever again.Violence at Abortion Clinics. For as much as this document talks about Abortion, it never condemns violence as an action against. Just any of the Supreme Court decisions that struck down super-restrictive actions against abortion.Hate Crimes. Only against Christians. Because it’s tough out there for the super-majority.Sexuality. That’s right. Defining sex discrimination to include sexuality is wrong. See the marriage issue for Conservatives, history et al.Well, I guess we acknowledged some nice things about race, Lincoln and the American dream. For as specific as that platform gets on everything else, though, this is sad.Gender Bias. Nothing was said. Sure, there’s a lot about activist judges when it comes to business/abortion, but not about women. And there’s plenty - on the heels of the Baltimore police reports regarding how officers treat young men, the buried story was how they treat victims of sexual assault: Some Women Won’t ‘Ever Again’ Report a Rape in Baltimore; or that police reactions to domestic violence range from dismissive to openly hostile: Highlights: Responses from the Field - or that the New Orleans PD was misclassifying rape & assault cases: Gender Bias New Orleans Police,mishandling sexual assault,Women's Law Project - or any of the recent stories of young men given incredibly light sentences for rape because of “their potential and stuff.” Conservatives have no opinion on this form of justice?Violence of Poverty. Of course their stance is that the poor are the problem - and even hurting the environment. You know what? Of the one-in-five Americans who participated in a program like Medicaid or food stamps from 2009 through 2012, the Census Bureau reported this week, 56 percent stopped participating within 36 months, while 43 percent lingered between three and four years. Nearly one-third quit receiving benefits within one year. So where’s the real stance on Poverty - other than trying to keep people from getting into better neighborhoods?Keeping Women in their Place: See above + lack of reproductive rights.If you don’t view women as objects of rape, that’s awesome. But you know what, Conservatives do not have a terrific record with women. Not trusting women with their reproductive rights and then blaming single mothers for a host of woes after actively suppressing reproductive education, access to birth control, programs to encourage home ownership and vilifying programs that can temporarily keep you buoyant until you’re through a rough patch…well, that doesn’t really walk-the-walk.#3 Race Issues.Well, the Conservative Platform has this lovely thing to say:As the Party of Abraham Lincoln, we must continue to foster solutions to America’s difficult challenges when it comes to race relations today. We continue to encourage equality for all citizens and access to the American Dream.NOW has been working on Racial Injustice since 1966.NOW condemns the racism that inflicts a double burden of race and sex discrimination on women of color. Seeing human rights as indivisible, we are committed to identifying and fighting against those barriers to equality and justice that are imposed by racism. A leader in the struggle for civil rights since its inception in 1966, NOW is committed to diversifying our movement, and we continue to fight for equal opportunities for women of color in all areas including employment, education and reproductive rights. NOW’s Combatting Racism Committee is working to encourage growth at all levels within NOW of multiracial task forces to combat racism.So, remember that awkward Black Issues town hall Donald Trump did? The one where the audience was pretty much all white? Know what no one said to him ever?The word multiracial.Sure, they had a good time talking about stop-and-frisk and law and order. I’m sure that went over as well as me and my friends sitting in a living room talking about just what would solve the problems with all those darn kids and their elecromagadgets that keep walking on our lawns.See what I’m driving at here?Rich white guy sits in room with a bunch of white folk to figure out how to solve the black person problem.Want to know why feminists have so much crossover with minority causes? Because we understand what it is to be marginalized on a regular basis - to have people assume we’re the problem and if we’d just do this or that thing, everything would be awesome. However, we’re with it enough to know that experience only goes so far - that we need to hear from those with direct experience - really hear from them - before we formulate solutions on what to do about the issue.Feminism is searching for answers to questions that keep begging more questions.If Conservatives truly believe all the questions have been answered, you’ll never have anything in common with Feminists. If you feel that there are questions, but you’re personally more interested in different questions, there’s room for everyone.Mostly, though, think of the money we’d all have if everyone chilled and was cool to each other - none of this restrictive nonsense. That’s gotta be a Conservative ideal you can get behind.

Developing a Happy OutlookChange your thoughts. People have a natural tendency to remember negative experiences but forget positive ones; however, thanks to adaptability (neuroplasticity), you can actually change the way your brain functions. You can train yourself to be happier by seeking self-actualizing work and your kind of fun.[3]Practice mindfulness. Occupy your mind with positive thoughts, actively striving, seeking, working on goals and humming a tune, for happy effects on the mind and body. Focusing on your experiences in the present moment without judging them or yourself can help you become more compassionate to yourself and to others.[4][5]Meditate. Activities that promote meditation, including an extended peaceful prayer, yoga, Tai Chi, or spiritual reflection, actually change an area of your brain called the insula, which is involved in your experience of empathy/understanding others. Developing your empathy muscles (helping others) will help you lead a happier life.[6]Make small events into appreciated “experiences.” Focus on and preserve the great little moment in a photo, write a journal or Facebook entry or make a short video. Make awareness of a gorgeous sunny day; accept a compliment from a friend. Why — this will train your brain to be happier by actively acknowledging the beauty of small moments and turning them into memorable “experiences.”Smile a little, hop, skip and sing in those moments, and they will not slip so quietly through the cracks of memory. Say, "Thank you, so much!"; perhaps, write thank you notes on Facebook, use text, email or snail mail, appreciating people in a big way.Look for the positive in all your experiences. The old saying that you find what you look for is true. Start. Because of this, make it a habit to actively seek out the positive in any experience. It’s not only good for your overall happiness, it’s good for your physical health, and boosts your immune system.[7][8]Accept harsh experiences and problems as learning opportunities. It can be tempting to let challenges or roadblocks keep us from feeling happy. Sometimes, it looks like there’s nothing good about a particular situation or experience. However, it’s important to think about even the greatest setbacks as experiences we can learn from for great results in the future/tomorrow.Don't give up on your ideas. "Try, fail often, get over it quickly," says Myshkin Ingawale, in a 2012 TED talk. He discussed his inventing small, inexpensive blood-oxygen and hemoglobin diagnostic technology that now help save women’s lives in rural India. Many ideas were not successful at first. But instead of allowing himself to give up or see these challenges as failures, he used them as learning experiences for his next attempt. Now, his handheld invention for blood analysis has helped reduce maternal deaths from anemia and complications in rural India by 50%.[9]Refocusing on the positive can help you heal from traumas.[10]Cultivate optimism. Why does winning the lottery not make people happy? In the 1970s, researchers followed people who'd won the lottery and found that a year afterward, they were no happier than people who hadn't. This is called hedonic adaptation,[11] which suggests that we each have a “baseline” of happiness to which we return. No matter what events occur, good or bad, the effect on our happiness is temporary, and happiness tends to quickly revert to the baseline level. Some people have a higher baseline happiness level than others, and that is due in part to genetics, but it's also largely influenced by how you think.There is power in intentions, having a purpose: Positive thinking is an important component of self-esteem and overall life satisfaction.[12] Optimism also tends to make your personal and work relationships better.[13]Optimism is more than just positive expectations. It’s a way of interpreting everything that happens to you.[14] Pessimism tends to explain the world in global, unchangeable, internal terms: “Everything sucks,” “I can’t do anything to change this,” “It’s all my fault.” Developing an optimistic outlook means thinking about yourself and your world in limited, flexible terms.[15]For example, a pessimistic outlook might say, “I’m terrible at math. I’m going to fail that test tomorrow. I might as well just watch TV.” This statement suggests that your math skills are inherent and unchangeable, rather than a skill you can develop with work. Such an outlook could lead you to study less because you feel like there’s no point to it — you’re just an inherently bad mathematics student. This isn’t http://helpful.An optimistic outlook would say something like “I’m concerned about doing well on that test tomorrow, but I’m going to study as well as I can and do my best.” Optimism doesn’t deny the reality of challenges, but it interprets how you approach them differently.“Blind optimism” isn’t any healthier than pessimism. To go skydiving on your own without any preparation or training because you’re optimistic about your abilities is obviously a bad idea that could lead you to injury. True optimism acknowledges the reality of situations and equips you to face them.[16]Practice active gratitude. A multitude of research confirms that gratitude is good for you. It reduces anxiety and depression, helps you become more positive, strengthens your relationships with others, and encourages compassion.[17][18][19][20] It also has been shown to increase your feelings of happiness.[21]Some people are naturally higher in “trait gratitude,” or the natural likelihood of feeling thankful. However, you can train yourself to develop an “attitude of gratitude” no matter how high or low your level of trait gratitude is.[22]Try to avoid approaching situations or people as if you “deserve” anything from them. This doesn’t mean that you have to put up with disrespect or being mistreated, but it does mean that you should try to take people as they are without feeling “entitled” to specific benefits or actions.[23]Accumulate all the little joyful things that happen to you during the day. They add up. You could keep a journal, and write them down. For example, if there was not bad traffic on the road, if you had a very scrumptious breakfast if your friend said something uproariously humorous that made you laugh, if you took your dog out for a walk in the park and played with it, add these together. You’ll probably find that you have more to be grateful for than you even realized.[24]Share your gratitude with others. A word of thanks, even a brief one, can make someone else feel appreciated. Sharing your gratitude with others also helps you remember what you’re thankful for.[25]Let the good things sink in. It’s not enough to just note good things when they happen. Really take the time to think about them and let those experiences sink into your memory. Consciously telling yourself, “This is a wonderful moment and I want to remember how grateful I feel for it” can help you store up these memories for when times get tough.Determine your core values. Your core values determine how you think about yourself, your life, and the world around you. These beliefs guide your decision-making. They may be spiritual, or they may not, but they’re the things that are fundamental to how you look at life. For example, “commitment to excellence” could be a value, or “dedication to family” or “belief in a higher power.” Whatever your values are, research suggests that when you aren’t living your life and making choices that are “value-congruent,” i.e., in line with your values, you’re likely to feel unhappy and dissatisfied.]Research suggests that when you are consciously aware of your values, you’re more likely to act in accordance with them. Take a little time and reflect on what is most important and meaningful in your life. You can think about times when you felt happiest or most satisfied and what the common factors in those situations may be, for example.Often, employees’ dissatisfaction with their jobs can be traced back to a mismatch in core values. If your company doesn’t value the same things you do, you’ll feel unhappy even if you like your work.Visualize your “best possible self.” This is an exercise that has been shown to increase your feelings of happiness and well-being. It involves two basic steps: visualizing how the “future you” looks when you’ve achieved your goals, and identifying the characteristics you need to use (or learn) to get you to where you want to be.Begin by imagining yourself in the future, when you have gotten to where you want to be. Pick a few goals and imagine that you have achieved them. Make sure they’re personally meaningful, not external markers of status.Visualize what this future-you is like. Imagine all the details of what success looks like. For example, if your dream has always been to be a musician, what does success look like for you? How much do you work? Who do you work with? What do you create? How do you feel about your work?Write down all the details of this scenario. Then, imagine what characteristics you will need to use to get you there. For example, becoming a successful musician probably requires things like perseverance, creativity, patience, and energy.Consider which of these traits and skills you already have. You may even surprise yourself with what you already know and can do. When you notice traits or skills that need further development, think about ways you can build up those things.7Show yourself self-compassion. Beating yourself up or giving in to negative thoughts can leave you feeling weak and unhappy. Dwelling on negative thoughts or feelings of guilt doesn’t promote improvement; it actually holds you back from growing and learning. Instead, show yourself the same kindness and generosity you should show to a friend.[35]Manage stress by prioritizing and doing what's more important promptly. Practice deep breathing, exercising and getting enough rest. Even a few minutes a day can make a difference. Do more things to protect your health and make goals/choices that lead to success including stronger relationships and better careers. Start your day with positive affirmations, such as “I accept myself today for who I am” or “I am a person worthy of love and respect.”[36]Take short “self-compassion” breaks throughout the day. For example, if you’re really swamped with work you might feel overwhelmed or guilty. Use mindfulness to acknowledge how you’re feeling: “I am feeling stressed right now because I have so much to do.” Next, acknowledge that everyone experiences these feelings from time to time: “I’m not alone in feeling this. It’s a natural feeling.” Finally, give yourself a quick compassion boost, such as saying something positive to yourself: “I am capable of getting this done. I can focus and work hard. I am a valuable person on this team.”[37]Challenge negative thoughts. We’re often our own worst critics. It can be easy to lapse into self-criticism. Instead, challenge negative thoughts when they show up. For example, if you’re on a diet but had some popcorn at the movies, a self-criticizing thought could be “I ate that popcorn. I’m such a failure on this diet.” Challenge this by showing yourself compassion and making a plan for what you’ll do differently: “I ate that popcorn and it wasn’t part of my healthy eating plan. This isn’t a failure, and I am not ‘bad’ for having had a treat. I will be more mindful of what I eat the rest of the day.”[38]Heal past traumas. If you find yourself consistently feeling down or upset, you might have some underlying issues from your past holding you back in the present. In the United States a report of child abuse is made about every 10 seconds.[39] This is only accounting for reports of abuse. A lot of abuse and other traumatic childhood experiences go unreported to authorities. Trauma from the past or even just painful circumstances such as the death of a loved one or a bad break-up can cause mild to severe depression. If you have tried everything you can think of to make yourself happier, there is a chance you could be dealing with something along these lines.If you have the resources available to you, consider seeking counseling from a licensed professional. The counselor can help you work through the past trauma or painful memories in healthy and safe ways.[40] A counselor can also make referrals for you if you or the counselor feels an anti-depressant medication (for use temporarily or long term depending on your situation) is appropriate for your case. There is nothing wrong with seeking help! If you are feeling really embarrassed or self-conscious about seeing a counselor, you should know they are bound by very strict privacy and confidentiality laws. No one has to know you are receiving therapy except you and your counselor or doctor. Working through past traumas with a counselor may be difficult at the time, but it will greatly increase your quality of life in the long run.Many communities and universities offer therapy through low-cost public clinics. Check in your area to see if this is an option.Common treatments for trauma include cognitive-behavioral therapy, talk therapy, exposure therapy, and pharmacotherapy.[41] These therapies can help you learn new ways of thinking and responding to situations and process your feelings.If you don’t have access to professional counseling services, you could try using self-help books at your local library or talking to someone you trust about your feelings. Religious ministers and support groups are often places to go for free support. Often just the act of talking things out with someone you love and trust and who will support is a healing act in itself.Contact a hotline. If things get really bad, there are several free, anonymous hotlines you can turn to. If you are at a low place or just don’t know where to turn, these hotlines can help. Often these hotlines will direct you to local mental health resources in your area if you just ask them. If you just need someone to talk to, remember your call is anonymous and free.Living HappilyOwn yourself. This means to accept and embrace your habits, your personality, the way you talk/look, your voice — everything that makes you “you.” Remember that you’re a unique person who has value and is worthy of love and respect. Learning to be comfortable with yourself will help you project confidence to others and live a happier life.Don’t apologize for traits that are part of you, like your personality, your voice, or habits. If there are traits you want to change, make sure you’re doing it for you and not because you feel like someone else has told you to. Make your decisions based on your values, not what others have declared you “should” do or be.[42]Love your body. It’s unfortunate that in today’s world, both men and women are bombarded with images of how we’re “supposed” to look, dress, or behave. These stereotypical “ideals” can cause a lot of harm. (Over 91% of women, for example, feel unhappy with how they look.[43]) Practice finding things to love about your body. Put sticky-notes with affirmations such as “You’re beautiful” or “You’re awesome” on your mirrors. Embrace that bodies come in an infinite variety, and yours is unique to you.Make a list of your strengths. Be honest with yourself. Write down everything that you know or are good at, no matter how “minor” it may seem to you. You can scuba-dive? That’s awesome. You can network with others on a team? Sweet! You can make a frozen pizza without burning down the kitchen? You made some good grades. You sing in the bath. That’s good too!Don’t compare yourself negatively with others. Remind yourself of your options by listing and appreciating small, good or great fun moments that occur. Accept simple fun. For example, if you like to play games for a little while on Saturdays, don’t let others tell you that you’re silly or “too old” for things that bring you fun and relaxation. As long as your activities don’t cause you or other people pain or harm, don’t feel guilty about doing things you like — no matter what other people suggest.Set meaningful goals for yourself. Take a good long look at your life, your values, and the person you want to be. Set goals that are meaningful to you and accord with your core values. Research suggests you’re more likely to achieve these goals and feel happier having done so.[44] Ask yourself some big questions, like “How do I want to grow?” or “What impact do I want to have on the world?”[45]Be realistic. If you’re five feet tall, your chances of stardom as a professional basketball player aren’t great. Making realistic goals doesn’t mean you have to limit yourself to what you know or can do now, just that you acknowledge your situation and abilities when you’re making your plans.[46]Keep your goals action-oriented. It’s vital that you set goals that you can achieve. Remember that you can’t control what anyone else does or thinks, only what you do. Don’t set a goal that relies on others’ actions for success.[47]Frame your goals positively. You’re more likely to achieve your goals if they’re framed as something you’re working toward, not something you’re running away from.[48] For example, if you want to exercise more, don’t tell yourself to “Stop sitting around so much.” This kind of goal statement is negative and will make you feel negative. Instead, choose a positive goal that emphasizes action: “Take a 30-minute walk three times a week.”Choose extra activities that make you feel better. When you have time or make time, do your favorite hobby or go outside for a little time to enjoy fresh air. For example, walk your dog or go jogging or play basketball or golf, bowl or swim. The main thing to do is to choose to relax and also to keep yourself functional.Scientists have tried for years to develop a formula for happiness, and it turns out that being “chronically happy” (that is, feeling that long-term satisfaction and contentment) does have a formula. Scientists estimate that the perfect formula goes something like this: 50% genetic factors (biology, brain chemistry, etc.), 10% circumstantial factors (income, job, living situation), and 40% intentional activity (what you choose to do and think regularly).[49] Choosing activities and experiences that are personally meaningful will really make a difference in your happiness level.The ability to choose is very important for happiness. In one study, participants either chose their own positive activity or had one assigned to them. The participants who chose their own activity and regularly participated in it were happier than participants who weren’t allowed to choose their own. If you feel like your life is restricting your choices, try to find ways to incorporate more freedom in your life.[50]Studies have shown that feeling “awe,” or that feeling of overwhelming positivity when we see a beautiful work of art or visit a natural wonder, promotes happiness and well-being.[51] When you can, indulge in activities that promote that feeling of wonderment and amazement in your own life, such as listening to an incredible piece of music or going on a hike.Focus on people, positive relationships, not on things. The path to continuing happiness doesn’t lie through an iPhone or a fancy car (like a new toy). In fact, research suggests that people who are focused on material things are often trying to make up for other, unfulfilled needs in their lives.[52] Materialistic people are often less happy with themselves and their lives than people who are less focused on “stuff.”[53] It’s fine to appreciate what you have, but remember that things won’t bring you joy. They may even increase your likelihood of feeling sad or fearful.[54]Of course, you need to make enough money to meet basic needs — food, shelter, and clothing. If you’re living in poverty, you are far more likely to experience sadness and frustration than people who are economically comfortable, largely because of all the stress you’re under.[55] Once you make enough to support basic needs, however, your happiness is not significantly affected by how much money you make, but by your level of optimism.[56]Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Studies show that humans can’t help but fall victim to the hedonic treadmill. We rapidly adjust to change, even positive changes, and treat whatever’s in our lives as the new status quo.[57] That's why it's important to push beyond your comfort zone to fuel personal growth.Research has consistently shown that we’re more productive when we’re justoutside our comfort zone.[58] This is called the zone of “optimal anxiety,” and it pushes us to take risks and try harder because we’re unfamiliar with our situation. However, if you go too far outside your comfort zone too fast, your performance will plummet again. Look for a balance of stability and trying new things.[59]Taking risks and stepping outside your comfort zone offers many rewards. One of the most relevant for your happiness is increased resilience, or how you deal with unexpected challenges. By routinely challenging yourself to push past your comfort limits, you develop the adaptability and flexibility to handle change when it arises.[60]Smile. Science suggests that when you smile, whether you're happy or not, your mood is elevated. This is especially true if all your facial muscles, including the ones around your eyes, get involved.[61] So smile whenever you can! Smiling is like a feedback loop: smiling reinforces happiness, just as happiness causes smiling. People who smile during painful procedures reported less pain than those who kept their facial features neutral.[61]Smiling releases endorphins, which are associated with pain relief, and serotonin, which is associated with happy feelings.Remember that different cultures interpret smiling differently. For example, Russian culture views smiling at strangers in the street as suspicious, while Americans will readily smile at almost anyone.[62] Smile at others, but don’t get offended if they don’t return your gesture — they may just have different traditions than you do.Follow your intuition. In one study, two groups of people were asked to pick a poster to take home. One group was asked to analyze their decision, weighing pros and cons, and the other group was told to listen to their gut. Two weeks later, the group that followed their gut was happier with their posters than the group that analyzed their decisions.[63] Granted, some of our decisions are more crucial than picking out posters, but often the options we’re agonizing over won’t have a huge effect on our long-term happiness. The stress of weighing all the options endlessly can make us unhappy, though.Intuition can be honed by experience. For example, experienced nurses are often good at identifying symptoms in an individual and using a combination of their medical knowledge and intuition — built up from past experiences — to make the right decisions for their patients.[64] Obviously, if you’re a brand-new nurse, your intuition isn’t going to be as good as someone with more experience. However, if you’re dealing with something that you’re pretty familiar with — or that doesn’t have huge consequences — go with your gut. You’ll be right more often than not.Follow intuition in three domains or areas by using: your experience (heuristics); natural thinking relevantly, and incorporating your feeling, desires and satisfaction into decision-making.[65] “Intuition” includes how your brain automatically stores and processes information relevant to your life and how you handle events.Enjoy learning something on your own using your experiences (heuristics) — and draw on those experiences when making a decision.If you are trying to buy a new car, you already have a set of assumptions (schemas) you are taking with you into the decision-making process (domain) before you set foot at a dealership.You observe others' body language, vocal tone/inflections, moods and emotions (affect) associated with the decision you're attempting, and all contribute to your intuition, making your intuition more reliable than what some skeptics suggest.[66]Start with the small decisions first. Start with small decisions and practice following your gut so that you know exactly what following your intuition feels like. The more you practice this, the more in-tune you will be with that gut instinct.Treat your body like it deserves to be happy. Your brain isn't the only organ in your body that deserves to be happy. Assure vigorous exercise, a healthy diet, and regular sleep — key factors in growing to be happier and to stay that way. Achieve high levels of life satisfaction, better physical health, for improved longevity.[67]People who are physically active have higher incidences of enthusiasm and excitement.[68] Scientists hypothesize that exercise causes the brain to release chemicals called endorphins that elevate our mood.Eat right. Eating healthy foods — fruits and vegetables, lean meats and proteins, whole grains, nuts, and seeds — gives your body and brain the energy it needs to be healthy. Research indicates that unhealthy diets, especially those rich in processed carbohydrates, sugars, and industrial vegetable fats, is responsible for some cell death, brain shrinkage and contributes to certain diseases like depression and dementia.[69]Get enough restful sleep. Study after study confirms it: the more sleep you get, the happier you tend to be.[70] Getting just a single extra hour of sleep per night makes the average person happier than making $60,000 more in annual income, astoundingly enough.[71] Research has also showed that employees who get enough rest are more productive and successful.[72] So if you're middle-aged, shoot to get at least eight hours of sleep per night; the young and elderly should shoot for 9 to 11 hours of sleep per night.[73]Iteracting with OthersStay close to friends and family. We live in a mobile society, where people follow jobs around the country and sometimes around the world. We do this because we think salary increases make us happier, but in fact, our relationships with friends and family have a far greater impact on happiness. So next time you think about relocating, consider that you'd need a salary increase of over $100,000 USD to compensate for the loss of happiness you'd have from moving away from friends and family.If it isn’t possible to move closer to your loved ones, communicate with them regularly. Technology such as cell phones and Skype make it easy to stay in touch with the people you love even when they’re on the other side of the world.Be compassionate. Compassion is all about doing something kind for someone in need, or someone less privileged than yourself. A brain-imaging study (where scientists peek into people's brains while they act or think) revealed that people gain as much happiness from watching others give to charity as they do receive money themselves![74] Think of effective ways that you can make your community or the world a better place by being compassionate. Compassion is a key part of sustainable happiness, and it’s also really good for your health.[75]Tutor, volunteer, or get involved in a church group. Countless children are looking for someone to teach them and act as a role model.Make a microloan. A microloan is when you give someone (usually in the developing world) a very small sum of money for an economic project of their own. Many microloans have 95%+ repayment rates.[76]Give a person in need food, clothing or shelter, if it would be safe. It's so basic, we often forget to think about it, yet so easy to do.Increase the happiness of those around you by giving small gifts. This will increase your happiness as well - in fact, the one giving the gift usually feels a larger pulse of dopamine (the neurotransmitter responsible for feeling happiness) than the person receiving the gift! [77]Try loving-kindness meditation. This type of meditation stems from Buddhist traditions that focus on increasing compassion for others.[78] Studies have shown that this type of meditation can reduce feelings of sadness and depression.[79][80]Make friends. In a 2010 study published by Harvard researchers in American Sociological Review, people who went to church regularly reported greater life satisfaction than those who didn't. The critical factor was the quality of friendships made in church. Church-goers who lacked close friends there were no happier than people who never went to church. When researchers compared people who had the same number of close friends, those who had close friends from church were more satisfied with their lives. This research shows just how important it is to make friends with similar values and outlooks as you. It doesn’t matter what your interests and beliefs are. Finding something you're deeply passionate about and making friends with those who share similar interests will result in the same http://intimacy.Be a peacemaker. If your ideas and understandings would continue dissension in a family squabble, or in your group of friends, or at a meeting of an organization such as on the job in a workplace, or in a church group, do something else. Be agreeable as much as it is up to you, applying yourself where you can be happy without unnecessary argument, anger and discord. Don't insist on getting your way/preferences in a personality conflict, on shades of meaning and adversarial issues at the expense of the order and peace of the group and your own happiness.Interact with people who share your interests, and feel happier due to sensations of reward and well-being. This is because during such interactions, serotonin and dopamine — neurotransmitters responsible for feelings of happiness and relaxation — are released into the body. In other words, your body is designed to feel happier when engaged in social interactions.[81]Have deep, meaningful conversations. A study by a psychologist at the University of Arizona has shown that spending less time participating in small talk, and more time in deep, meaningful conversations can increase happiness. [82] Meaningful conversations move past the surface level of informative “small talk.” These conversations discuss your ideas about love, life, hopes, and dreams.Psychologist Arthur Aron has done a lot of work on how to generate meaningful communication between people. His work recently made a splash with the idea of “36 questions to fall in love.” While this media representation isn’t quite the way the research works, Aron’s questions do ask deep, probing things about the other person, which leads to a stronger feeling of intimacy and connection.[83]Share your happiness with friends. Studies have shown that people who openly share their positive feelings with others have greater social connection than people who don’t share. The next time you experience something wonderful, go start a conversation about it with a friend. It’ll bring you closer together and make you both happier.[84]Find happiness in the kind of work you do now, even while you are seeking a new career. Many people expect the new job or career to dramatically change their level of happiness. But research makes it clear that your levels of optimism and quality of relationships surpass the satisfaction gained from your job.[85]If you have a positive outlook, you will make the best of any job; and if you have good relationships, you won't depend on your job for a sense of meaning. You'll find meaning in interactions with the people you care about. You'll use your job as a crutch instead of relying on it for meaning.Find your flow at work. Flow is a state of mind where a person is fully absorbed in what they are doing. They have next to no trouble concentrating on the activity because the activity is challenging enough to hold their attention but not so challenging that it exhausts them. This might not be possible for every activity you do, but find ways to make it happen frequently and try out different strategies to make it work. Some people find their flow by using a timer to keep them focused for a set amount of time and others find their flow by setting up the work environment a certain way. Find what works for you. Studies have shown that employees who can find their flow have greater work satisfaction.[86]This is not to say you shouldn't aspire to get a job that will make you happier; many people find that being on the right career path is a key determination in their overall happiness. It just means you should understand that the capacity of your job to make you happy is quite small when compared to your outlook and your relationships.Forgive. In a study of college students, an attitude of forgiveness contributed to better cardiovascular health. You could say forgiveness literally heals the heart. While it is unknown how forgiveness directly affects your heart, the study suggests that it may lower the perception of stress.[87] Yet despite its many benefits, it’s incredibly hard to do. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to learn forgiveness.Remember that forgiveness is something you do for you, not for the other person. Holding on to anger and hate can cause you immense hurt. And forgiveness doesn’t mean denying that the other person did something wrong. For example, consider Auschwitz survivor Eva Kor, who has publicly forgiven the Nazi guard who kept her and many others imprisoned during the Holocaust. She has said, “I forgave the Nazis not because they deserve it but because I deserve it.” She forgave her abusers because she didn’t want to carry the burden of anger with her, but they are still wrong for their actions.[90]Forgiveness also doesn’t mean continuing to put up with mistreatment. You can forgive someone for treating you wrongly and still take steps to make sure they don’t do it again.Think about what you want to forgive. How does that wrong make you feel? You may wish to write down your thoughts and feelings.Reflect on the experience. What could have been done differently? Can you learn from this experience? What would you want from the other person?Write a letter to the people you want to forgive. What did they do that hurt you and why are you forgiving them? What do you want for them now? Where do you stand in the relationship? You don’t even have to mail these letters if you don’t want to; simply writing them can be a way to express your forgiveness to yourself.Remember that forgiveness isn’t conditional. If you make forgiveness contingent on a particular result or action, you could be waiting forever. It can be hard to forgive others because they may never admit or suffer consequences from their wrongdoing. Value forgiveness as a way to let go of something that can hurt you, not as a way to ensure anything happens to the other person.Forgiveness can be a very spiritual experience. Studies show a clear correlation between “state forgiveness” (the act of forgiving something), self-forgiveness, and a sense of sacredness. By practicing forgiveness, you may end up discovering something sacred about yourself or the world around you.