I Am Looking For A Church Home I Would Like The Pastor To Contact Me: Fill & Download for Free

I was intimate with a woman with BPD for 6 years. Surprisingly, we never fought or argued. It was 6 years of bliss and ideation. She had an emotional crisis about once a month and would always ‘split’ someone else for a few days. I was always their to help her cope. We were so close I never once thought she could ‘split’ me.Then, one day I was asked to resign from the company where we both worked for 10 years. [side story: two weeks before, the managing director saw my hands on her shoulders and asked her about it… she said, “It was nothing, that she was just stressed out about something she was working on.” A couple of days later, he asked her again; her response was the same. A week later he calls her into his office, closes the door and asked her about it for the third time. She thought her job was in jeopardy and freaked out. She told him that “My touching her shoulders was unwelcome touching” (the definition of sexual harassment). I got fired the next day.]She freaked out, and what follows is the fallout from that single, impulsive lie.We were extremely close for 6 years. We shared everything about our lives including stories we had never shared with anyone else, we spoke about our spouses, our children, our past… everything. We were affectionate and loving to each other every day, hugging, petting, etc, and we had sex all the time (about 3x per week). We’d been saying, “I love you” for about a year but we loved each other a long time before saying it. We were extremely close through my last day at work (when I was indignantly escorted out of the office in front of her).I used to help her with her day-to-day tasks, and I even got her a huge (mid-year) unscheduled $15,000 raise, six months before because she said “I hate this place” and had “decided to leave.” She said she wasn’t appreciated enough by our boss.After I was asked to resign, I contacted her by email, I told her I didn’t blame her for anything and said I wanted to remain friends and stay in touch. She immediately said, “Don’t email me anymore.” I was confused and didn’t understand. She didn’t say ‘why’, she didn’t say ‘good-bye’; she didn’t say anything besides “don’t email.” I sent her another email (honestly, just one more email), saying “I don’t understand” and “Why are you acting this way?”She immediately told the managing director I was harassing her and called the police, saying that I harassed her by sending her an email after she said, ‘Stop emailing me.” After she found out that wasn’t enough for a restraining order (you need three ‘threatening’ incidents in my state) she made up different stories. Like, “she thought she may have seen a car that looks like mine drive by her house (once)” and “She saw someone at the park with a camera… so I must have hired a private investigator to follow her around.” She also ‘blames me’ for her ‘needing’ to buy a $3,000 video surveillance system for her home (because she feels like I am watching her all the time), and for making her so paranoid that she needs to go for mental health visits. She literally blamed me for making her crazy. Oh, and it’s my fault too that she won’t let her kids ride their bikes on the street (because the ‘bad man who hates mommy might hurt them’). She repeatedly says in court that I am not remorseful enough. OMG.I don’t know if you can tell, but I didn’t hate, or blame her for anything when this mess started, and despite her recent craziness and lies, I still don’t hate her.I’m getting to the point… she has testified against me 5 times already, including a growing list of new allegations and new nonsense. After first telling everyone I was a crazy ex-coworker who blamed her for my getting fired, she now says I *forced* her into having sex for 5 years! and that if she didn’t go along with it, I would fire her. OMG. This is like saying I raped her for 5 years. Nothing could be further from the truth. We were peers. Making this lie even worse is the fact that she was the one who was hyper-sexual and always instigating our hook-ups even when the risk of getting caught was extremely high. We exchanged 5,000 emails (that I still have). In many of them, she tells me how much she cares about me, how much she thinks about me every day, and how horny she is for me. Her allegations of ‘forced sex’ were so objectively false, that she subsequently admitted to lying about this at the last hearing.The lies and false narratives just roll off her tongue. People have asked, “Why would someone make up stories like these if they weren’t true?” and “What does she have to gain from all this?” … and they figure she must be telling the truth. Her allegations began during the “Metoo” movement, the “Believe Women” movement, and the Kavanaugh hearings. Ugh.The Quora question was about emotional amnesia. On the witness stand, she said that when I said “I love you” she always “affirmed her love, and gave me the impression that she loved me too.” That statement is true, but to this day, I’m still confused about it means. She remembers the facts but talks about them like she was an observer. In a senses, it’s like she has “emotional Altheimer’s.”She has completely ‘forgotten’ how close we were, and how much we cared for each other. Now she tells stories about how evil I’ve been for the last 5 years. She smeared me in a distortion campaign that has completely ruined my career and reputation. No one from the company where I worked for 13 years will give me a professional reference because everyone at the company thinks that I was sexually harassing her. My colleagues, the people I worked with every day and called my friends for a decade, haven’t returned a single email. Her stories have caused the company to create a card-swipe entry system (simply because of her false narrative).I used to make $250,000/yr… now I can’t even get a $100,000/yr job. It’s been impossible to get a job because of this mess. My background check comes back with a ‘hit’ because she accused me of criminal harassment. I was a year-round youth coach for 25 years, and a High School Assistant Coach for 6 years. All that is gone. I’ve already spent $80,000 in legal fees. Oh, and because someone at my old company is friends with the pastor at my church, I was asked to find a different church. The pastor who baptized me wouldn’t even speak to me to discuss the allegation of harassment (I don’t even know what he was told). I was a licensed gun owner for 35 years with a spotless criminal record (I’m 54 y.o.). The police knocked on my door and took my guns away simply based on one woman’s crazy story, her unfounded allegations, and her multiple instances of perjury on the witness stand. It’s been two years and could be permanent. In my state, surrendering of guns is ‘forever’ with any charge of harassment.No one cares that she now admits to perjuring herself five times; it’s amazing. People simply accept her ‘latest’ story without regard to the fact that her earlier accounts are contradictory and exculpatory.The minute she changed her story from ‘everything is fine’ to she was ‘harassed’ she started a process that caused others to act against me. People have said to me, ‘we can’t ignore these accusations’.She tries to claim that she had nothing to do with my getting fired, or the criminal charge because ‘the managing director’ decided to fire me, and ‘the police’ decided to charge me. The problem is: they were both were making decisions based on her histrionic lies and stories; stories that have continuously evolved and changed each time she is confronted with evidence to the contrary.BPD is an awful disorder. Emotional amnesia is incomprehensible to anyone who hasn’t experienced it first-hand. I hold no grudges; she’s really sick. She was the nicest person in the world 99.9% percent of the time (with a shy disposition); the other 0.1% of the time she was the devil in disguise (with an angry, evil, spiteful disposition, as well as being sex-crazed).We’ve had no contact for two years but the criminal harassment trial is next week. Her only ‘proof’ of harassment are ‘her feelings’ and her unfounded, uncorroborated allegations. State law says she only has to prove that she suffered “substantial emotional distress.” Although defendants don’t usually testify, I will be on the stand. There are only two witnesses (her and me) and it’s going to end up with her simply trying to ‘prove’ her case by showing ‘substantial emotional distress.’UPDATE: I was convicted of criminal harassment.On the witness stand for the criminal harassment trial she gave her testimony under direct-examination and stated her allegations, and said how emotionally distressed she was. Then my attorney started asking her questions and she admitted to lying oath. At that point, her lawyer asked the Court to end the proceedings because she didn’t want to testify anymore. The judge said it’s too late, and forced her back on the witness stand, and told her to, “take the Fifth” to any question she felt uncomfortable with. She even changed her testimony from the morning to the afternoon, and then took the 5th when asked about the change. It was a circus, but it didn’t matter. They still believed her latest story about how fearful she is (still, and after 2 yrs) because, and I quote, “she feels, that I think, that it was her fault, that I got fired” and “she doesn’t know what I am capable of.” Silliness. I never blamed her a single time, and I was never angry with her or my boss. I certainly never threatened her, even remotely or by innuendo. I never even spoke harshly about her, my boss, or the company.In her victim witness statement, she said she was terrified of me, that she can’t sleep or focus, that she won’t let her kids play outside, etc. etc. She asked the judge to put me on probation with a GPS ankle bracelet “for as long as possible,” and asked the judge to make me pay for the $3,000 video surveillance system she installed at her house. She also accused ME of being crazy and having ‘no remorse,’ and asked the judge to have me committed to mental health treatment. Truly a case study in ‘gas-lighting.’ The judge gave me 3-ys probation with an ankle bracelet, ordered me to take a mental health evaluation, but he scoffed at her request that I pay for her home improvement.If that weren’t enough, after the trial she was laughing as I walked by her in the lobby. OMG, that’s so sick and twisted.After my first mental health evaluation, the counselor said I was fine and didn’t need to come back. That’s funny because a ‘neurotypical’ (i.e. normal person) might have been driven crazy by these events and the resultant tragedy.I wouldn’t blame you if you wondered if I am the one who is crazy… Now imagine, this is what I deal with every day, and at every job interview that I’ve had over the past two years.Everything is on appeal, but the damage is irreversible. Overturning this on appeal (in two more years) won’t do me any good. My reputation, my career, my finances, my marriage, and my family have been profoundly affected, and for what? Because she couldn’t navigate the stress of me consensually touching her shoulders in the office, on a single occasion, as I had been for 6 years, without lying like a child who spilled the milk.Amazingly, even after all this, my boss and her husband still think that I sexually harassed her at work and that I blamed her for getting fired. She has gotten away with everything scot-free.I haven’t lost my Faith, or myself, but it’s been really difficult, and my story just keeps getting worse. PS. … sorry this story is so long.

I will tell you my story, so I can share some insights which could help here.I was brought up in a home with a nonimal Roman Catholic mom and a “constant spiritual searcher” dad (i.e. a Freemason, who studied Eastern religions, and “spirituality”, while being very distrustful of Christianity and organised religion in general).Back when I was 17, I was invited by a high school friend to an event in his church, and there I got my own worldview challenged. I typically saw Christian people as ignorant and emotionally-driven, but this time they engaged in conversation, answered my questions, and tried to make them arrive at its logical conclusions. Therefore it made me wonder whether my beliefs (influenced heavily on my dad's) was as sound and coherent. Some time after this, I became a Christian.And, while my father accepted my decision, he sometimes made fun of me, and tried to bring up the conversation when his Freemason friends were at home, and sort of forced me to speak about it.I remember that, a couple of years after I became a Christian, I got confirmed in my church (became an official member) I introduced my father to the pastor, and after the greeting, the pastor said to my dad “He's a fine boy”. My father answered him “yeah, I wanted him somewhere else, though. But he's a fine boy”. It really was an awkward moment.Over the years, I've had the opportunity to speak with my dad thoroughly about our differences, and while we still have them (and I have to be honest, regarding this issues, they are not superficial), we can at least have the trust to be honest about them.So, a couple of thoughts that might clarify things.You said she started going to Christian Bible studies while in college. If you're from the U.S., I assume she has left home and now lives in campus, right? If that is the case, I would recommend trying to keep in touch with her, for that is essential. If you live far away from her college, perhaps having a fixed time a week (say, Sunday evenings) so you can just talk about stuff will help not to lose contact. If you live nearby, perhaps having her visit you (or vice versa), during the weekends or every fortnight, might also be desirable.Regarding the 'services are 3+ hours’, I think it would be nice to join her, just to see what it's like. Do you know what church is she attending, specifically? If you do, you can start by looking at their webpage and check what do they believe. (If the congregation is part of a known Christian denomination [i.e. Baptist, Presbyterian, Pentecostal, etc.], it can help as well). I wouldn't interrogate your daughter right away, for she might not know how to answer, and can make her feel insecure. But, I agree with other posts, where she is going is not trivial. There are some fundamentalist people out there. I assume you don't have much of a Christian background (i.e. apart from ceremonies [baptisms, weddings, funerals], you rarely attend a church service.) If that's so, I'd ask a friend or acquaintance (or your neighbourhood’s Community Church pastor) what kind of church is your daughter going (after doing the research for yourself, certainly).When you say 'she spends all non-school hours with the religious group’ do you mean she has activities with them all week long? If that is the case, I would talk to her about not leaving her school responsibilities aside for her activities in the ‘church group’, for not doing well in school doesn't honour God (Greatest Commandment, according to Jesus, Matthew 22:36-37) nor her parents (Exodus 20:12). Now, on the contrary, if it means she only hangs out with people from church, I would encourage her not to leave the world (John 17:15), and this means hanging with other people as well.With all the information you have given, I cannot say whether she is attending a cult, a fundamentalist Christian church, of perhaps something else. But in all cases I truly believe being close to her, and really listening to her (not without reservations, surely) might not make her feel alienated from her family.Since I am Christian, I cannot also end this without saying that perhaps the mainstream U.S. culture's approach to the Christian faith (i.e. “Yeah, God, Jesus, bla bla, be good to one another” but not much else, nothing relevant to the everyday life), has left very little of the awesomeness that made it a faith that literally changed the world. Perhaps you can also discover new and interesring things.In no way I am asking you to check your brains at the door, but with it, discover who Jesus of Nazareth really is, and why he changed the world.Feel free to ask more about it.

One time my dad and I picked up a hitchhiker.As we drove, my dad and I tried to make some chitchat with the guy. Turned out he was a Vietnam vet, who had been hitchhiking for many years. He told us a bit about his story, and then it started getting weird.Warning: this is not going where you expect.His name was Danny. He was skinny and wore a very dirty Lynyrd Skynyrd hat.He began telling us how he had been used in a number of experiments in the military. Mostly experiments related to pain desensitization and mind-control.Then he started telling us how he was involved in a series of time-travel experiments.By this time, my father was getting pretty uncomfortable and tried changing the subject.“Well, it’s a good thing we picked you up, so you don’t have to walk alone in the cold.”“I don’t mind the cold.”“Well, at least it’s more comfortable sitting in a car, right?” dad said.Danny looked out the window and ignored him.I started asking him more questions about time travel, and specifically how the machinery looked and operated. To my surprise, he described in intricate detail a very compelling model of a time travel machine, incorporating light, sound, electricity, and a series of chemicals that he rattled off like he had done it a thousand times.I was so captivated by his explicit description, I kept asking more detailed questions. Meanwhile my dad, who was completely tuned out at this point, looked out the window and started humming a hymn to himself.Pretty soon we arrived at our house. I asked Danny if he wanted any food, and he politely said he would be on his way. I offered to drive him a little further down the road to a major intersection, which he accepted.We left my dad at the house, got back on the road, and started driving.As soon as we got back in the car, Danny said something that shocked me:“You aught to stay away from that fella”.“What? You mean my dad?”“Yeah, one of the things they taught me was to read people, and you should avoid people like that.”I had never heard anything like this. My dad is a pastor, and everyone considers him a really nice guy.I asked Danny (again) if he wanted a bite to eat, he readily accepted. We stopped at a diner and he ate like a stray dog.Over lunch, he went back and forth in excruciating detail, explaining fascinating technologies he had witnessed in his time in the military. Covering everything from space travel, time travel, alchemy, and his own quasi-human experiences. He claimed that he had been shot many times, but the bullets went right through him, due to a hyper-molecularization that would make his density so low that things passed through him, and also allowed him at times to move at the speed of light.We discussed mathematics, and I was pretty shocked by his profound grip on differential geometry, molecular physics, and he even went on a long rant about number-base systems. He felt very strongly that our decile counting system was the reason most people would never understand deep scientific complexities. I scribbled notes on napkins like a crazy person, trying to contain what he was describing.After lunch, we sat in the parking lot while he smoked cigarettes. He explained how he had made friends with a rattle snake and then a mountain lion. And how he had frozen to the ground, but thawed back out again, because he had gone through some kind of hibernation training and had chemicals injected into his skin.Finally, he refused to talk any more. He thanked me again politely, grabbed his bag and walked off.—Ok, where am I going with this?About 8 months later, I checked myself into an ER for suicidal depression. (Or rather my partner checked me in, because I was in a shattered emotional state and could barely talk). I had recently left my job, and was trying to pivot my skills into a new career. It wasn’t going well.I had always suffered from depression and suicidal ideation, but this was the very worst I’d ever experienced. My partner asked my parents what to do “just leave him alone, he’ll get over it”.Luckily she didn’t do that. We ended up hiring a very expensive therapist, and I began working to unravel my emotions.That was almost 3 years ago.In the past three years I’ve uncovered dozens of memories I had suppressed of my father abusing me as a child.Many dark, horrible secrets I had completely forgotten about, or chosen to forget. As these secrets started coming back in weird bits, I would call one of my siblings to ask if he remembered these event. To my shock, he remembered all of them, and often pieced the whole story together for me. He thought I knew, and was very sorry to realized I was “rediscovering” many of these events for the first time.This long road finally led to a confrontation with my father, which resulted in him cussing me out, throwing me out of his house, and telling me I’m no longer his son. He then contacted all of our relatives and his church members, and told them I was a druggy loser, who had disgraced him and was no longer welcome at his home or church.As it turns out, Danny was 100% right.My dad is someone to avoid.