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I have a personal anecdote about why I hate using the kiosks.I work at a boarding/grooming facility. In December, about 2 weeks before Xmas, our blow dryer we use to dry the dogs broke. The motor died, it was a goner. Right before the Xmas rush when everyone and their mother needs Fido looking perfect for the holidays.We live in a rural community so the nearest store that sells the kind of blow dryers we need is about 2 hours away. My boss was dealing with a family emergency and asked if I would drive up and get it. This basically involved me giving up at least half my day (and it was my day off too) to drive up to pick one up (we couldn’t have it shipped because Canada Post workers were on strike, no guarantees we would get it anytime soon)So I drive up and pick a new one up (plus some other stuff we needed since I was there anyway.) My last stop is right next to a MacDonalds, and it’s exactly noon. I want to lose as little of my day of as possible so I decide I’ll grab a quick meal there and eat on the road.I’m already parked, plus the drive through is super long as it’s the lunch rush so I decide I’ll just go in and order. Once inside, the area around the cashier is packed, but there are a few kiosks open. I don’t normally like using the kiosks but I don’t want to wait around too long so I figure I might as well.Small fact about me: I hate fizzy drinks. Like, completely loath them. Will not drink, even if you pay me. So I don’t drink pop. Now McDonalds does have a few juices (generally fruitopia) at their drink dispensers which I will drink, but normally I get a chocolate shake. And I’ve wasted half my day, so I want to treat myself and order a shake with my meal.I order, pay, get my number. Everything goes through, there’s no indication that anything is wrong.So I wait, and I wait. Every other order gets handed out until I’m literally the last person standing there. So much for not waiting around.Finally the worker who is handing out orders, looks down says “Oh!” and calls my number.She’s holding a to-go bag… and an empty cup.She says the ice cream machine is broken, so they can’t make my shake. But I can get a pop from the drink machine instead.Now, anyone who’s ever order a shake with there meal at McDonald’s knows that’s considered an ‘upgrade’ ie. you pay extra for it. As I recall I paid about $1.50 more for the shake.I’ve at this point in time, wasted half my day off, am super hungry and not at all happy.I point out (Politely) that I paid extra for a chocolate shake so I’m not taking a generic pop unless they refund the extra I paid. ($1.50 might not be much, but I’m not exactly rolling in money here. Plus it’s the principle of the matter.) She tells me she can’t refund ‘just the extra I paid, it isn’t possible’. I reply I’m not just taking a pop when I paid extra, there has got to be something she can do.She decides she can refund me the whole price of the milkshake instead of the extra and I can just not have a drink with my meal. I figure, ok, whatever, I’ve got water in the car.So I get my drink money back, my meal and high tail it out of here.Now, you might be wondering in this story what has this got to do with using the kiosk.Simply this: There was no indication, anywhere, that an item on their menu was completely unavailable.Now shit breaks, I know that. It’s not anybodies fault, I know this too. I would have been completely happy if I’d come in, tried to order to shake and got told ‘sorry, can’t do that. The machine’s down.’Which is what would have happened had I ordered at a living cashier.Instead, the machine took my order and my money without ever indicating my order couldn’t be fulfilled.You can’t tell me that MacDonald’s with all the money they rake in can’t design a system so that if a machine breaks or a store runs out of something the manager couldn’t either adjust the menu displayed by the kiosks so that the items never shows or adjust it so that if you tried to order something they couldn’t produce the machine could give an error letting the customer know the chosen order was unavailable.Hell, I’d have been happy if someone printed out a sign that said ‘Sorry, ice cream machine out of order. The following is unavailable….’But nope, take my money and then try to offer me something of lesser value instead.I will go back to my ways of ordering at living cashiers from now on.

Narcissists love a good old double bind -A) Abuse yourselfOrB) Be abused by the narcissistEntering into the phony relationship is entering into the double bind. You are bound because you sincerely want the relationship to work. The narcissist, being an arsonist is just enjoying burning things. Thus you are always given one of two choicesDo what the narcissist wants, which will be something degrading and abusive (abuse yourself)orDon't do what the narcissist wants, at which point they will become degrading and abusive (be abused by them)Give up your religion or face abuseGive up your opinions or face abuseGive up your hobbies or face abuseGive up your family or face abuseThe narcissist will slowly but surely destroy the pillars that hold up your self esteem, and be validated in the process. The narcissist wants to feel powerful, grandiose, not merely be loved. Love is mutually beneficial, it is an equaliser. The narcissist is only interested in using you to gratify their need to feel better than everyone else, they don't care about you feeling good.Masturbatory? Very.This process will therefore never, ever stop, they must always be putting you in the double bind in order to recieve the euphemistically titled “supply”.Outside the home, narcissists will attempt to use others to punish you, they will require you do what they want (something degrading), or look bad in front of others and face their abuse.A classic example is the Narcissist disregulating someone before a social function - an Xmas party, a birthday, an end of year function - let's say the narcissist reduces the person to tears in the car on the way there.Once at the party, the narcissist switches, and becomes joyous and charming.You have a choice now to either:A. Put on a brave face, pretend to be happy and feel like a complete fraud and a hypocrite, and worry about whether the narcissist will abuse you on the way home (your abject misery by that stage may or may not suffice)OrB. Be miserable, and look like something's wrong with you, making the narcissist look bad also, resulting in more abuse on the way home, and validation of their mental health smears (they always always always do these)Chances are, being invested in the relationship, you will choose option A most of the time, choosing to abuse yourself rather than let anyone see the relationship is a humiliating sham and face the narcissist’s wrath also.Of course there is always option C - detonate the relationship. Tell everyone the narcissist was being abusive in the car (optional) go home and pack your things - take a few hefty male friends and relatives if you are a woman in danger.Always choose C, always choose to detonate the relationship. You will of course be smeared and experience some loneliness as you are forced to leave certain social circles. Eventually however the loneliness will pass as much of it is generated by narcissistic projection, and you will develop enjoyable hobbies, and move into new and better social circles. The narcissist, who just cannot help themselves from ruining everything, will be found out in due time and you will be vindicated in front of everyone.Even if the narcissist is not found out, who wants to associate with the gullible toady people who like narcissists?You don't want to be a gullible toady do you?Robert

Meh, if there wasn't a half decorated artificial tree in the middle of the family room, it could’ve passed as any other day.I remember when Christmas use to mean something. Growing up Jewish, even Hanukah wasn't much of a holiday. “Here's $25, go get yourself something. “, was about all it amounted to. So, when I married my wife, who comes from a large Catholic family(nine kids), Christmas was a big to-do. I had some catching up to do and I felt like a little kid at Christmas. My wife went to great trouble to decorate the apartment. By Christmas Eve the tree would be decorated and the presents would be wrapped up underneath. We would play Christmas music softly as we slept throughout the night. Come daybreak I'd be bouncing around the apartment like someone hopped up on crack. My wife and I would have tea and coffee while we exchanged presents after which we'd get dressed and head over to her folks for the day. Her siblings are all crazier than a bunch of shithouse rats and there was tons of food and laughter.After her folks died, her oldest sister took over the roll of hosting the family. It was still fun, just different.By the time she passed in 2000, all the siblings had families of their own, the wife was working killer hours, and because of my job, I was away more than I was home. Christmas was losing its meaning and just adding to an already stressful situation. We started doing less and less decorating and putting less and less effort into it. Gift giving became virtually gratuitouss. I'd give her my Discover Card and she would order stuff. It would come in packed in unmarked brown boxes. I'd wrap it and put it under the tree, not even knowing what was in it. I don't have a life and don't need anything, so she'd get me an Amazon gift card. But, it was still a day off from work and a day we could spend together. We declared it work free, and hygiene and clothing optional. In other words, I'd sit around on the couch in my underwear, scratching myself in places I should wash more often.This year, it didn't even amount to that much. I got home very early Christmas Eve, took a nap and hit the ground running. Because the stores would be closed Christmas Day, I had to do all the usual running around before the stores closed at six. Then unpack three stores worth of groceries and still take care of the usual Monday night stuff. Dinner never happened. It came down to whatever you could shovel into your pie hole on the run. We were up all night working and finally called it quits around 8am Christmas Day with the gifts unwrapped and the tree not yet decorated.We got up around 2pm and scrambled to finish what we couldn't get done from the night before. The expensive ham we bought for dinner ended up sitting on the counter being mauled due to time constraints. I had to leave out by 4am this morning which meant I had to get some sleep before leaving out.At 4am, as I headed out the door for work, the mauled ham was still on the counter, most of the gifts weren't wrapped, let alone exchanged and, the fuckin' artificial tree had a couple of strings of lights and a few decorations on it.I'm sleep deprived, frustrated, and beginning to appreciate being Jewish.