We Will No Longer Be Mailing The 1099 Package In The Month Of: Fill & Download for Free

This question has been around probably since the stone ages when the first manager decided to hire her/his first employee. While originally they were probably minor embellishments, many companies have resorted to using whoppers in the hope that they can attract "the best and brightest". Here are some that I have encountered over the years and the thoughts that came to mind once I heard them:NOTE: My answers are intended to be as exaggerated as the statements that were provided to me. Take them with a grain of salt."We have an open door policy here" - this is a total lie especially in bigger companies. If you think you are going to get the ear of the CEO if you have any concerns in a company bigger than 10 people, be prepared for a long wait."We have a flat organization structure here" - Trust me, if you have more than two people in a department, one will always be more senior than another one. It may not be spelled out in terms of title, but there will always be leveling."We believe in empowering our employees" -SCENARIO 1: In other words, we are ready to let you pick an icon or two on a PowerPoint deck, as long as you are ready to justify why you picked the person icon with the blue shirt versus the one with the red dress.SCENARIO 2: We will give you the awesome responsibility of taking out the trash. Since we trust you so much, we *know* you will separate the recyclables from the compostables right?"We trust our employees" - We trust our employees as long as they cc: us on every e-Mail you send and you are willing to accept "feedback" about the tone, your spelling or the fact you have a "creative" e-Mail signature (which is not company sanctioned)."We believe training is important for ongoing development" - that is, if you can flag down a colleague who has learned something and you can pin her down for a few minutes during your lunch break, we are more than happy to let you "learn"."We believe in work-life balance" - in other words, we expect you to work your entire life here and if you ask for comp time, we may give it, but don't think for a minute you can step away from your laptop or cell phone.Here are some new ones (09/02/2012)"We are a meritocracy" - that is until the boss's best friend wants to buy yet another new toy, then be prepared to be denied that raise/bonus you worked so hard to earn over the past year. Also known as "We don't play favorites here!" or "We promote from within" (see below)"We have a hands-off management style" - the only thing that we 'don't' do (yet) is monitor how many squares of toilet paper each employee uses, but that's because we don't want to look like total jerks (but in all honesty, we do - we just dock it out of your pay if you use too much)."We provide our employees the latest technologies to do their jobs" -SCENARIO 1: you mean a 486 with a VGA monitor running Windows 95 isn't bleeding edge? Go bitch to Johnson who still has a 386SX running Windows 3.1!"SCENARIO 2: yes we will give you a laptop, but it's a hand-me-down that was we forgot to return to IT during the corporate refresh from the Bush administration (41 or 43, what's the difference?)."We promote from within" - Sure, if you work REALLY hard, you might be able to be promoted from Junior Peon I to Junior Peon II, but don't ask us to give you a bump in salary because of that - either because "you didn't do *that* great!" or "we just don't have it in the budget this year""We give opportunities to travel" -SCENARIO 1: You travel - from the office to a customer whose office is 5 blocks away -- don't even THINK about billing us for the miles because we know where you liveSCENARIO 2: You live on the road 340 days a year, so that means you don't have any pesky distractions like family and the like. You think you will be able to come home during the weekend? Not unless you pay for it yourself and can squeeze in that free time somewhere.SCENARIO 3: Sure - as long as you take coach, are willing to take connecting flights from SFO to LAX if it saves the company more than $50 and that those frequent flier miles you earn go right back to the company - you think that you get to keep those? The CEO needs them to go first class - after all *he* is an executive and who are you again?New (10/23/2012):SCENARIO 4: Sure - you can travel - just be prepared to share a room with Johnson who snores like a malfunctioning buzzsaw, Smith who watches PPV porn in the buff and tries to expense it as a "meal", and Thompson who argues with his wife on the phone until 3AM. Now if you piss us off, we'll put you in a room with Jones here who likes to go to strip clubs and enlist some of the talent if you know what I mean (wink wink)SCENARIO 5: Sure you can travel, but just be prepared to sleep in your rental car (a microcompact) if we can't find you a room within our budget. For the record, Motel 6 is considered a "Luxury" hotel according to our CFO so be careful about where you want to stay -- that is unless you want to take it out of YOUR paycheck. Yeah, we know the CEO stays in the best suite in the Four Seasons any time he travels, but remember, HE is the head of the company... you aren't!"We have a team environment here!" - if you think that either sitting in a bull pen with 20 others who live in conference calls *all* the time even though they sit right next to each other or blindly stare into their monitors with headphones on means that they work closely together, we are a tight knit group."We want a person who wants to be a player-coach" - in other words, we want a person who will be a player while everyone else "coaches" you (demands that you turn in the TPS report yesterday)Here are some new ones (09/28/2012):"We are like a family here" - in other words, if you like working in an environment where everyone acts either like a domineering parent or a spoiled child, you'll feel right at home here!"We provide benefits that are considered the best in the industry" - you mean that our swill that we call coffee, our fine eau du tap (that's tap water for those of you who don't speak French) and our high deductible HMO doesn't excite you? Well too damn bad because the boss needs to use the money earmarked for that to pay for her/his kid's drug rehab program, her/his partner's weekly therapy sessions and her/his canine acupuncture treatments. Now don't get us started on our two weeks of "PTO" which you need to use when we shut down our office at the end of the year and guess what, whatever you don't use does NOT roll over to the following year!"We only believe in hiring the best and brightest" - that is if you think that people with single digit IQs who gloat about how drunk they got over the weekend is the mark of true genius. See also "We only have "A" players work for us!""We provide flexible work hours" - Feel free to come to the office anytime between 8:00 and 8:01 AM and stay until 9 or 10PM 7 days a week. We won't mind at all if you stay longer, but that's your choice -- everyone else will...And some more (09/30/2012):"We have a strong management team"-OPTION 1: This company was the brainchild of three college buddies who were getting drunk/smoking pot/playing World of Warcraft. One Saturday night, they came up with this "innovative" iPhone app company/social networking site and decided to drop out from their liberal arts program to make their millions. Thanks to Facebook/Twitter/etc, they caught the eye of leading VCs who decided to invest millions of dollars into the company even though they don't have a clue about how to monetize it or build a prototype that doesn't break and crash your system.OPTION 2: We have an incredible executive team but one noteworthy VPs is only 25, but he founded six companies before he was 22, sold 5 of them and 1 went public. It hasn't gotten to his head though, but he does write a blog with thousands of followers where he shares his "insightful" management advice to other millenials like "Don't hire anyone over 30 - they are too old to learn anything" or "If you don't have billions like me by now, you might as well go work at Starbucks, if you are lucky!""We have a casual dress code" -OPTION 1: Don't be surprised if you see the CEO walking around in his jammies, a bathrobe and bunny slippers - it helps him "think". Don't make any comments about it or you'll be fired faster than you can possibly imagine.OPTION 2: Sure, feel free to wear whatever you want, but those jeans better be "dressy" (Translation: cost more than $200) and a nice shirt (a $150 linen shirt will do nicely). If you wear a pair of $300 Converse All Stars (or some fancy Italian brand from your trip in Italy), you will fit right in! Just remember, we do pay top dollar, at least compared to Foxconn in China.OPTION 3: Don't mind Steve over there, he's our office nudist, but he does puts a towel on during our daily SCRUMs because we don't want to offend anyone and well... he had an accident once and we can't afford to clean the carpets AGAIN."We have an open floorplan" - we are too cheap to buy cubicles since we invested our money into fancy hardware (see above) or in a building in an area that has obscenely huge rent (SoMa, Silicon Alley, etc.), but we got a "steal" since we are sharing it with 7 other companies, including a blow dry bar, a foot massage parlor, two social networking sites, a consulting firm, a food kitchen that doubles as a performance space on weekends, a "consulting company", and an iPhone app company we bought 6 months ago for only $100MM."We have a young, hip office" - We have an amazing kitchen with a kegerator available at any time, a fridge stocked with the latest junk food from Albania, and mini-bar that would rival anything you would see with your buddies during the weekend. Fee free to partake at ANY time, after all - our chief engineer walks around wasted most of the time anyways."We have a diverse staff here" - We have people of all ages here - we even have a 35 year old guy around here somewhere - he's a little old, but we think he lends a different perspective that we would not consider."Everyone here is a coder" - Yes, even the receptionist knows how to program in at least eight programming languages, so don't feel too stupid if you only know Javascript, Java, Jython, Python, and C++."We are in the 'xyz' space" - We have a brilliant idea that is very similar to ten other companies in the market and swap employees more often than swingers change their partners!"Don't worry, this interview will be easy" - We will ask you questions based off esoteric functions that no one ever uses and expect you to build an entire application on a whiteboard in 15 minutes - no pressure!Here are some new ones (10/11/2012):"We have a work hard / play hard culture" - All employees are required to work until they pass out, but hey, it's all good because we have happy hours every Friday -- just remember to get back to work afterwards because we don't pay you to slack off!"We will be the next 'xyz'" - Our idea has been replicated so many times by so many different companies that we have lost track - but hey, the Street is stupid and they'll throw us money anyways because we put the right words in our investor presentation!"We believe in personal growth" - We fully expect you to learn the latest and greatest technologies on your own without surfing the web, taking classes and the like - after all, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?"We have a great healthcare package!" - We have a half filled bottle of aspirin that someone left a while back and three bandaids in a first-aid kit around here somewhere."We provide unlimited vacation days" - We plan to work you so hard that you won't be able to take any time off. If you do take a day off, be prepared to see someone else sitting at your desk when you get back.NEW (02.09.2015)"We (tend to) promote from within" - "We really don't plan to hire anyone for this job except for either the boss' best friend or transfer someone that might have the skills (like the receptionist that would be the perfect Director of Product Marketing), but we want to show the world we are a growing company.""XYZ skill is strongly preferred" - "Don't bother applying for this job unless you worked for a well known competitor, invented the technology, or are a subject/domain expert. Neither your boss nor the CEO know a thing about the subject, but we expect our less senior level employees to know everything about XYZ.""We want player coaches..." - "The CEO is the only true manager; everyone reports to him. Even if you are a VP, you won't have any direct reports for the foreseeable future (if ever)."NEW (03.12.2015):"We believe in open allocation" - The CEO and the rest of the executive team are too busy playing DOMA/counting their money they got from some gullible angel/getting drunk (or stoned)/doing cosplay/reading reddit (or 4chan)/downloading illicit torrents/surfing for porn online/going out for coffee/hitting on the interns to tell you what to do. Don't worry though, you will be given tons of money to hire a bunch of 1099 contractors (at $10/hour), to work for you."The potential income you will receive is unlimited" - You will be a 1099 contractor where you have to provide your own equipment (don't forget your health and car insurance because we can't take care of you -- the CEO on the other hand is insured for billions), pay for goodies to wow your customers, and more. Long story short, if you make $4.50/hour you are doing great!

I’ve been homeless since March of 2009. For the first six years I was in Houston, Texas. For the first two of those, I lived in a shack I cobbled together in some woods owned by Farouk Systems; they were building a new production facility in Houston due to their IP being stolen by the Chinese. I was living on 36 acres of East Texas woods but then they came and removed the trees from half of it - my half, to prepare for the construction of a new factory. Their Production Manager, a cool-ass dude, told me I could move to a small 8 acre patch they owned and so I did - and lived there unmolested for the next four years. I lived in this shack, which I constructed completely from found objects - I was most proud of the roof:That property was eventually sold - twice, and the second purchaser bought to develop, so I had to move; for complex reasons, I came to Los Angeles - yeah, the JUNGLE.I’ve never been on any type of government assistance since being homeless; being a libertarian, I just don’t believe in it! For the first four years in Houston, I lived entirely out of the dumpsters behind a small grocery which catered to the Hispanic community. I ate nothing but veggies - fried potatoes for breakfast and boiled mixed veggies for dinner - no lunch. I was practicing yoga twice a day - Hatha yoga I mean, and I got down to about 170 pounds; I’m generally around 190 pounds. My yoga practice was freaking thumping - name an asana and I could get into it! I was also feeding up to 47 feral dogs at one point, and the grocery became angry with me because I was taking large quantities of raw meat from their dumpster; so they put up a gate! I started picking up scrap metal then, and getting my dogs food from the dumpsters behind the pet stores. I lived on the motto, “If I don’t find it, then I don’t need it,” and was rather successful I must say. Sometimes I went a few months without toothpaste and I had to go to the Veterans Administration clinic for some antibiotics when I was bit by a brown recluse, but other than that . . .I didn’t have a Texas state ID, and it’s impossible to get one in Texas without an address, but I had internet access at the Worksource Center where I would print out entire open-access Mathematics textbooks. And that’s basically all I did: meditate; practice Hatha yoga; study math. I generally only picked up scrap metal every other week in that I could make $95 to $115 per week and I never spend more than $25/week on groceries; the rest of the money I just saved - buried.Here in Los Angeles it’s basically the same old routine except that I live out in the open, under a freeway bridge crossing the L. A. River - on the East side, Boyle Heights. I also have a California ID in that it is extremely easy - too easy in fact, to acquire such, hence, I have internet access at the Public Library. However, California being radical about environmental issues, I have to get my math books at the used bookstore, The Last Bookstore, or print them out at Office Depot - which is cost prohibitive. I make about $35/week pulling recyclables from the trash receptacles downtown, which allows me to buy groceries, the occasional book, and save a bit.Now, to be frank, if I somehow acquired $100, I just flat wouldn’t spend it on anything; I’d save it! Why? Because that’s my nature. It hasn’t always been but, by God, it is now. I don’t drink; I don’t use drugs of any kind; I don’t use tobacco products; and I don’t eat at fast-food restaurants. In fact, I find it utterly foolish that the U. S. allows food stamp recipients to spend those food stamps at fast-food establishments and corner convenience stores. For $3.50 at McDonalds, you get about a quarter ounce of fried potato; for that same $3.50, I can walk five blocks down the street to the Food 4 Less and buy ten POUNDS of uncooked potatoes! Of course, here in L. A., the best deal on food stamps can be found every month down of 7th street and San Julian - the junkies selling their food stamps so they can buy heroin! They don’t need the food stamps in that the liberal Christians give them all they need to eat and the toilet tissue to wipe their ass - to say nothing of the tents they live in and the sleeping bags they sleep in.If you’re wondering why, exactly, I am homeless, well, that’s a long complicated tale which involves a great deal of corruption on the Federal level. I’m the reason why James Comey and Bob Mueller are running this nonsense collusion which hunt; here’s an email I sent to the extraordinary lawyer, Gerry Spence, if you’re interested; I also filed a whistelblower with Chuck Grassley’s office. I would also add that Barack Obama, Bernie Sanders, the ACLU, the Innocence Project, the Washington Post, and the L A Times were all informed of my situation long ago. Here’s the email and, following that, a short relevant excerpt from the mentioned document:Mr. Spence,My name is Wes Hansen. I was honorably discharged from the United States Marine Corps in spring of 1994. Due to actions by the FBI and others, I have been living on the streets of Houston, Texas, and Los Angeles, California, since March 01, 2009. Perhaps you will find my story of interest!?!I was born (1969) and raised on a farm/ranch in Southwest Nebraska (Frontier County). I signed a guaranteed 0300 contract with the USMC on the brink of the first Gulf War. After being honorably discharged, I graduated from the commercial dive school in Houston, Texas, The Ocean Corporation, as the honor graduate, class D252, in May of 1995. I spent some time working for American Oilfield Divers out of New Orleans, Louisiana. I then moved back to Houston and went to work in a small job shop, Lift Aids of Houston, as a fabricator.I worked for Lift Aids for a bit more than three years and attended evening classes full-time at Houston Community College majoring in Pre-Science/Pre-Engineering. I maintained a 3.89 GPA and was a member of the Honor Society. Lift Aids encountered lawsuit troubles due to some short-cuts they had taken prior to my tenure there so I left and went to work for a start-up called Ares Robotics (website no longer available). I was making $60,000/year at Lift Aids when I left.The Board of Ares Robotics included Richard Starr, CEO and founder, Dave DeLater, Vice President, Michael Harris, Treasurer, and David Gaines, Secretary. Richard Starr claimed to be a former member of Seal Team 6 and a licensed PE with a couple of engineering degrees. At the time I was a bit young and I tended to think that people generally tell the truth but, in hindsight, I believe Richard Starr to be less than truthful.Starr told me that the company was short on operating capital and, believing there to be a good bit of potential opportunity at Ares, I agreed to work with them under what were certainly unconventional terms. Of course, their machinist, Terrence McWilliams, was also working under the same terms. I agreed to hire on as an independent contractor, although we clearly were no such entities; I agreed to accept considerably less money than accustomed to, $15/hr., with the stipulation that Ares would pay all of my tax bill; McWilliams and I were to be accumulating "sweat equity," worth of which to be determined once the company got a little "wind in its sails," upon which time we would be granted formal ownership based on that sweat equity.The first year taxes came due, I didn't get a 1099 until that following November, which caused me considerable concern; needless to say, I pitched a bitch.Of course Michael Harris was doing all of the tax work, the company's as well as mine and that of McWilliams.During the course of the next year, Richard Starr casually mentioned to me a pump problem he had been thinking about for the last 13 years; within the next 6 months I had solved the problem (see attached document). This is when my problems really started.I had some experience with PhotoShop and I'm also an artist (see my short blog), so I was helping Starr develop a Business Plan/Marketing Package. Starr was seeking money and, at his bequest, I sent a copy of the Business Plan/Marketing Package to my parents and godmother; my godmother was a bit wealthy and my parents had connections in the refinery business around Casper, Wyoming. I believe this is when the FBI got involved!Anyway, I developed my pump idea on my own time and I even started building it, purchasing roughly $8,000 worth of components. On good faith, I presented the work to Starr, telling him that I would be interested in working with Ares regarding the pump but that we needed to formalize the ownership deal. I also told him that I wasn't going to continue working under the unconventional agreement we had and that I wasn't waiting until November to see a 1099 this year. He basically told me that he was the engineer and that I couldn't do anything with my pump design without him so, and I quote: "Why should I give you ownership?"I was more than a bit perturbed and I left the Ares property without my pump components. The next eight months were a nightmare: I was followed everywhere I went and I wouldn't even get a call-back on any job applications,something which was peculiar giving my welding and pipe-fitting skills. I blew through the rest of my savings and racked up a bit of credit card debt. The crazy thing was, I still had a key to the Ares building and I went there every Saturday to perform maintenance on a reef aquarium in my old office. When my money ran out, after the 8 month period, I went to talk to Starr and to see about getting my pump components. The front gate was locked and Starr refused to give me my pump components (they were locked up in a sea container) until I returned "his" pump and robot drawings (see the attached document).When I left Ares I was irritated but not to the point of losing control. I was driving a straight-cab, four-cylinder, Toyota truck with manual transmission and I backed into the front gate. I didn't really do any damage to the gate, in fact, all I really did was break a taillight out on my truck. Shortly after I got home, two bonafide, plain-clothed detectives with HPD or the Sheriff's Department showed up and arrested me. I was charged with two felonies and three misdemeanors.I spent three months in jail and it was just crazy. I was a mark! I was charged with felony criminal mischief related to running into the gate; they said I had inflicted $5,000 damage which I knew to be bullshit. No one would provide pictures of the gate and, after three months, I agreed to 4 years of deferred adjudication. The judge, Jeanine Barr, agreed to this even knowing that I had no relatives in the area, no money, no place to live, and, quite frankly, no support whatsoever. Right before I left her court, she had her court liaison officer, Nugget Ebby, give me a map to the Star of Hope, a Christian mission in downtown Houston! I spent three months living on the street before turning myself in; Barr sentenced me to three more months in State Jail.Via Richard Starr's former girlfriend, Shannon Slyfield, I got mixed up with the Morrison family. I didn't know it at the time, but Pat Morrison was on deferred adjudication for putting a pistol in his neighbor's face during an argument about his daughters and their horses. I also didn't know that Morrison was a meth-head, albeit an rather wealthy meth-head. Morrison had failed 4 urine analyses and was headed to prison. He and his wife filed a criminal complaint against me for stalking their eleven year-old daughter and he was diverted to treatment. You can read a quick sketch of all the rest in the attached document; it's twenty pages with lots of pictures.I've lived on the streets of Houston and Los Angeles since March of 2009. I've been studying mathematics and science primarily - in between picking up recycling and scrap metal. I live on about $35 a week. Recently I wrote a couple of Mathematics paper which are quite revolutionary (see attached). Basically, I figured out a simple way to use something called the Anti-Foundation Axiom to develop a countable class of "hyper-ordinals" in between each standard ordinal and I define a novel definition of multiplication on these hyper-ordinals which turns out to be recursive; this enables a counter-example to Tennenbaum's Theorem. In the second paper I extend the counter-example out to completion and discover that there exists an countably infinite subsumption hierarchy of recursive universes - countably many counter-examples to Tennenbaum! Had anyone else written these papers it would be all over the media by now. A short while after posting these papers to the internet, all of my books were stolen. In the three years I've lived on the streets of L. A. I have probably had my stuff stolen a few hundred times but they never messed with my books - the dope-heads can't read let alone understand math! So you tell me . . .There's a lot more to this of course . . . I have contacted many people. I originally put everything together in three-ring binders with toc and tabs. I sent the whole package to the U. S. Office of the Inspector General, the Assistant U. S. Attorney's Office, Eastern District of Texas, ABC News with Brian Ross, an old girlfriend who's now a New Mexico Judge, and a childhood friend in Nebraska, Harris Grunden. Someone from the U. S. Attorney's office called me shortly afterwards and told me that they didn't investigate cases, that they only prosecute cases recommended by the FBI. I told him the FBI, in this case, was the perp, at which he told me he would look at my documents. I've contacted the Houston Chronicle, the Washington Post via Leonard Pitts at the Miami Herald and, right after I arrived in L. A. I contacted a couple of people at the L. A. Times; one of those people retired two weeks later and the other, well, hasn't been any help. I've tried seeking assistance through the VA which is a bigger joke than you can even imagine. I even contacted Bernie Sanders and his PAC during the most recent primaries . . .Maybe you can help a guy out . . .With regards,Wes HansenHere’s the relevant excerpt:I filed a lawsuit in a Texas court requesting the return of confidential documents as provided by a provision in the Confidentiality Agreement. The defendant, Mark Hansen, was a resident of Colorado so it was necessary to involve the Texas Secretary of State. I received notice from the Secretary of State, via certified mail, that Mark Hansen had been duly served on December 11, 2008. The Texas court in question never received such notice thus a trial date was never set. I filed two separate lawsuits in this same court, one on the same day as I filed the suit naming Mark Hansen as defendant, and its integrity was well established.The Secretary of State sabotaged the judicial proceedings of a Texas court in the attempt to prevent the authentication of said Confidentiality Agreement while, at the same time, convincing my family of their intent to help them (my family) steal the technologies and trade secrets covered by said Confidentiality Agreement. They failed in this endeavor for, as the old saying goes, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” They made this attempt in order to assist William Albion Anderson, an extremely wealthy Perry campaign contributor, in his attempted theft of technologies and proprietary information which rightfully belong to me; technologies I have since patented. I have also managed to maintain Trade Secret status, as defined by both Texas State law and the Economic Espionage Act of 1996, on the majority of the technologies in question.So why did the Texas Secretary of State foolishly interfere with the judicial proceedings of a Texas court? They planned to arrest my whole family, myself included, for “Theft of Trade Secrets.” Here’s how:I knew my family was being set up, I just didn’t know how. I knew there had to be a connection between William Albion Anderson and Rex Hansen. I started pounding the internet searching for it. On William Albion Anderson’s Forbes profile it demonstrated that he had been appointed as a Director for Rancher Energy of Denver, Colorado, in the spring of 2007 and a Director for Far East Energy of Houston, Texas, in the fall of 2007. Considering this whole conspiracy was coming into play in 2007, I found these appointments suspect. I became even more convinced of their conspiratorial nature when I discovered that Rancher Energy, a company using CO2 injection to extract oil from spent oil wells, was working solely in oil fields conveniently located in the direct vicinity of Casper, Wyoming.In the offering memorandum for Sausalito Foods Rex Hansen emailed to me, it reveals that Rex Hansen is a Managing Director for Bathgate Capital of Denver, Colorado. I began researching Bathgate Capital and discovered, in their tombstones, that Bathgate had extended $1.4 million in seed capital to a company in Houston, Texas, called Far East Energy. Bingo! The Rex Hansen/William Albion Anderson connection. This is what caught the interest of the federal authorities. The State of Texas had all of my information including social security number. They planned to demonstrate, in a Texas court, that Rex Hansen became aware of the pump and robotic system in question while engaging William Albion Anderson through the Bathgate/Far East Energy connection. They then planned to demonstrate, in a Texas court, that Rex Hansen directed me, his cousin, to work for the William Albion Anderson company manufacturing said pump and robotic system thus familiarizing myself with the technology and facilitating the theft of that technology. They were going to put my whole family in prison. Not interested in seeing the inside of a Texas court again, I thwarted this planned action.If you’ve read this far, then, rest assured, my greatest wish is to see Barack Obama, Eric Holder, James Comey, Bob Mueller, and any other scum bag involved in this put to death for treason against these United States. As Thomas Jefferson once said:“God forbid we should ever be twenty years without such a rebellion. The people cannot be all, and always, well informed. The part which is wrong will be discontented, in proportion to the importance of the facts they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions, it is lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty. ... And what country can preserve its liberties, if its rulers are not warned from time to time, that this people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to the facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.”It’s best, in my opinion, to feed said liberty tree the blood of tyrants; we can feed her a little of such blood now, or we can feed her a whole helluva a lot of both patriot and tyrant blood later. May a sense of Justice guide our decision.I will never be silenced . . . this side of death! I told these FBI scum bags that back in 2005! And for all you U. S. Marines going on about your bullshit brotherhood; you can kiss my lily white ass!

here is more than everything that you wanted to know about stimulus checks.VID-19 Stimulus Checks: Your Questions AnsweredAmong the various coronavirus news reports, one of the most prominent topics this week has been focused around the economic stimulus package and, more narrowly, the stimulus check that is part of the package. While many are eager to know more about the stimulus check, it’s important to know about the stimulus package it’s part of and the reason the government is coordinating this effort in the first place. We’ve got answers to your questions below.What Is A Stimulus Package?A stimulus package is a variety of economic measures created by the government to aid a struggling national economy. True to its name, its purpose is to stimulate the economy by increasing government spending, thus preventing, slowing or reversing a recession or depression.The 2020 economic stimulus package is a response to the impact COVID-19 has had on the national and global economy. It goes by a few different names, including the economic relief package, the coronavirus stimulus bill and the economic stabilization package, but its official name is the Coronavirus Aid, Relief and Economic Security (CARES) Home - ACT nearly $2 trillion, the CARES Act is the largest rescue package in our country’s modern history.What Does The 2020 Stimulus Package Include?You can read the full CARES Act bill online, but here are a few key features of the stimulus package: More than $350 billion in funding to help small businessesMore than $100 billion in funding for hospitals$500 billion in government lending for distressed businessesProtection against foreclosure and evictionExtended and additional unemployment benefitsMore people able to qualify for unemployment, including self-employed people like contractors, freelancers and gig workersEligible people directly affected by COVID-19 to withdraw from 401(k) savings without penaltyDirect payments to individual Americans through a stimulus check While there is much to digest from the mammoth, 800-plus-page bill, this article will focus on one particular section that has piqued the interest of most Americans: the stimulus check.What Is A Stimulus Check?A part of the broader stimulus package, the stimulus check is a payment made to eligible Americans from the U.S. government. Not only can the money help provide some financial relief for many who are facing hardship, but it can also help boost the economy when the money is spent.How Much Money Will I Get?Individuals will receive up to $1,200, while married couples will receive up to $2,400. Parents will receive an additional $500 per child listed as a dependent on their most recent tax return. Notice that when we list how much money you can get, we say “up to.” That’s because the payments are based on your Adjusted Gross Income (AGI) on your most recent taxes and scale down when it’s over a certain amount.Here’s how it works: Individuals who earned $75,000 or less on their most recent taxes will receive the full $1,200.Heads of household who earned $112,500 or less on their most recent taxes will receive the full $1,200.Married couples who earned $150,000 or less on their most recent taxes will receive the full $2,400.For every $100 earned over those limits, the check amount decreases by $5.Individuals who made over $99,000, heads of households who made over $136,500 and married couples who made over $198,000 will not receive a stimulus check.Individuals, heads of household and married couples can earn up to $500 per child under 17 and claimed as a dependent on their most recent taxes.The amount for that check decreases by $5 per $100 earned over the limits listed above. The $100 is taken from the combined total of all children, not each individual child.Did you get all that? Here are a few examples of how much individuals and couples will receive based on their incomes and whether or not they have children: Individual under $75,000: Alex earned $60,000 in 2019. Alex will get a stimulus check for $1,200. Individual under $75,000 with children: Now let’s say Alex has two children under the age of 17, whom he claimed as dependents on his 2019 taxes. In addition to the $1,200, he will receive $500 for each child. In this scenario, Alex will receive a stimulus check for $2,200. Individual over $75,000: Jane earned $90,000 in 2019. She will get a check in the amount of $450. Since she made $15,000 over the maximum, she will receive $750 less. Individual over $99,000: Roger’s income in 2019 was $125,000. He has no children. He will not receive a stimulus check. Individual from $99,000 to $108,999 with child: Erin’s income in 2019 was $100,000. She would not be eligible for a stimulus check, but she has one child. Since she made $1,000 over the maximum, the check for her child will be $50 less. She will get a check for $450. If she had two children, her check would be $950. Individual at $109,000 or more, with child: Since the check amount decreases by $5 per $100 over, once an individual makes $109,000, they will not receive a check for one child. However, if they have two children, they would receive a check for $500. Married couple under $150,000, with child: Jack and Amy earned $120,000 and claimed one child under 17 on their most recent taxes. Jack and Amy receive $2,400 plus $500 for their child. Their total check amount will be $2,700. Married couple over $150,000: Mark and Sarah had a combined income of $160,000 on their recent taxes. They will get a stimulus check for $1,900. Since they made $10,000 over the maximum, they receive $500 less. Married couple over $150,000, with child: Greg and Mary’s combined income on their 2019 taxes was $200,000, which makes them ineligible to receive the stimulus check. However, they have one child. They will receive a check for $400. Since they earned $2,000 over the maximum, they receive $100 less. So, if the couple had two children, they would receive a check for $900, instead of $1,000. Married couple at $208,000 or more, with child: Since the check amount decreases by $5 per $100 over, once the couple makes $208,000, they will not receive any check for one child. However, if they have two children, they would receive a check for $500.You can determine your check amount by using this stimulus check calculator.Remember, the amount of money you receive is based on your adjusted gross income (AGI), which is your total taxable income. If you don’t know what that is, you can find it on line 8b on Form 1040 of your 2019 or line 7 on Form 1040 of your 2018 return.Where Will The IRS Get My Information?The IRS will use your 2019 taxes to get information on your adjustable gross income, your dependents, filing status (single or married). If you authorized direct deposit for electronic payments on taxes, the IRS will use that information as well. We’ll touch on that more when we talk about how you’ll get your stimulus check.If you have not prepared your 2019 taxes yet due to the COVID-19 tax extension, the government will use your 2018 taxes. If you have not filed your 2019 or 2018 taxes, the IRS will use information from a 2019 Social Security Benefit Statement (Form SSA-1099) or a 2019 Social Security Benefit Statement (Form RRB-1099). If you didn’t receive those types of benefits and therefore don’t have these forms either, you may not get a stimulus check.Do I Qualify For The Stimulus Check?Many Americans are eligible for the stimulus check, including unemployed people, veterans, retirees and people on disability receiving social security.You must have a Social Security number or adoption taxpayer identification number (ATIN). This is true for adults and children. According to The Institute On Taxation And Economic Policy, if you’re an immigrant who filed taxes using an Individual Taxpayer Identification Number (ITIN), you will not qualify for a stimulus check.You will not qualify for a stimulus check if you filed any of these forms in 2019: 1040-NR, 1040-NR-EZ, 1040-PR or http://1040-SS.As stated before, if you made more than $99,000 as an individual or $198,000 as a married couple and do not have children, you will not receive a stimulus check. You may also not receive a stimulus check if you did not file your 2018 or 2019 taxes and do not have a 2019 Form SSA-1099 or Form RRB-1099.Do I Need To Apply To Receive Money?No. You do not need to apply to receive a stimulus check. However, as stated before, if you do not have 2018 or 2019 taxes filed and do not have a 2019 Form SSA-1099 or Form RRB-1099, you should file your taxes immediately to ensure you get a check. Those who do not normally file taxes due to low income and, in addition, do not receive Social Security benefits may still be required to file a tax return for 2019 to get their stimulus checks. You’ll need to verify with the IRS whether you’re required to file a tax return to get your stimulus check. If you do need to file, you can do so for free through the Free File program offered by the IRS.How Will I Receive The Money?If you authorized a direct deposit on your 2018 or 2019 taxes, you’ll receive your money via direct deposit. If not, a physical check will be mailed to the address the IRS has on file. Within 15 days of sending payments, the IRS will send a paper notice by mail with information on how and where the payment was sent. Wait until you receive that notice to worry about your check as it may take some time for the IRS to send out all payments. However, if you do not receive your check by the time you receive the notice, follow the letter’s instructions for reporting your missing check.If you would like to receive your money via direct deposit, but the IRS does not have your direct deposit information, sit tight. According to the IRS, “In the coming weeks, Treasury plans to develop a web-based portal for individuals to provide their banking information to the IRS online.”When Will I Receive The Money?Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin has expressed that he would like the payments to go out within 3 weeks of President Trump signing the CARES Act into law. However, a 3-week turnaround may be a little optimistic as stimulus payments in the past took a few months to arrive.The IRS plans to begin issuing up to 70 million stimulus checks via direct deposit starting Thursday, April 9, with those payments showing up in bank accounts by April 15. Those receiving a paper check by mail will have to wait longer, months even. Paper checks are scheduled to start going out at the end of April at a rate of about 5 million checks per week. At that rate, it is estimated that some checks will not arrive in homes until end of August or early September. Those with lower incomes will be mailed their checks first.For those who are able to be paid through direct deposit, the checks may come sooner than those getting a physical check in the mail.The stimulus checks will be available through 2020, so if you still need to file your tax return or provide more information, you have time. However, the sooner you provide your information, the sooner you may get a check.How Will I Know It’s Not A Stimulus Check Scam?Unfortunately, it’s during times of uncertainty that scammers really try to cash in. One of the best ways to avoid being scammed is to remember that the IRS will not call, text or email you. The IRS will not reach out to you on social media. If someone is asking for your bank account information or any other personal information, do not give it to them. The IRS will not ask for that information, nor will they ask for any money from you. The IRS will not send you an email with links or attachments. Do not click on those links or open any attachments claiming to have information on your stimulus check. If you aren’t sure if a letter you receive is from the government, visit An official website of the United States government.How Should I Use My Stimulus Check?How you use your stimulus check is entirely up to you based on your financial situation and current needs. Here are some ideas for how to use your check: Use the money to live off, pay your mortgage or meet any financial needs.Put the money into your emergency fund for future needs.Use the money to pay off some of your high-interest debt, which can free up more money each month.Save for your future and put the money into your 401(k).Invest in stock, while the market is down.Donate your money to a loved one in need or a nonprofit helping those affected by COVID-19. While we’ve compiled a list of some of the ways you can use your stimulus check, consider your own financial situation and see how it can best be used. If you are out of work, have reduced hours or are already living paycheck-to-paycheck, it may be in your best interest to use the money to pay bills or other monthly expenses to help maintain your financial health. If you are still working full-time, living comfortably and have a healthy emergency fund, you may consider donating the money or using it in other areas of your finances. We recommend speaking to a financial advisor to help you figure out the best way to spend the money.Can Money Be Taken From My Check?The stimulus checks are not taxable, meaning you’ll get the full amount. If you owe past taxes or have defaulted on your student loans, your check will not be reduced. However, if you owe past child support and it has been reported to the government, you could have that money taken from your stimulus check.Will There Be A Second Stimulus Check?As of right now, the CARES Act calls for only one stimulus check for 2020. However, this situation is fluid and more may need to be done in the future. We don’t know. If there is a need for another round of stimulus checks, another bill would need to be written and approved.Where Can I Get Stimulus Check Information From The IRS?For the most up-to-date information straight from the source, visit IRS.gov/coronavirusThe Bottom LineMany Americans can expect some kind of stimulus check in the coming weeks or months. How much you receive will depend on your adjusted gross income from your most recent taxes, your filing status (single, married or head of household) and the number of children you have. While this may offer some reprieve for those who have lost their jobs, had wages cut, live on low-income or live paycheck to paycheck, there is still uncertainty in what lies ahead. As we continue to live through the COVID-19 situation, much of the impact from the virus is experienced as it happens. We’ll keep you updated on changes to the economy, housing market and the daily lives of Americans as they happen. You can find more information in our COVID-19 Resource Guide. As we get through this together, remember to stay updated, stay calm and stay safe.