Nata Technical Note 13: Fill & Download for Free

Highly Unexpectedly,Yes! That's what I did!The day when I realised what state of depression is.The reason for writing this anonymously is when my kith and kins see, they become shock to see that happens to me.(IIT selection % - 0.789..)Well, this goes long because the incident happens after a lot of “Two years hard work”.As all having their dreams to reach one of top prestigious institutions in our country, they started preparing for JEE. I am one of them among those 14 lakhs too. To be truthfull I stopped living life, like a misanthrope to those who puts me down and many more, each and every time thinking of JEE only.My condition is like : “Ye JEE ke liye sahi nahi hai, to isse duur hi rahunga”.ABOUT ME:1.Scored 10 CGPA in 10th Class. (CBSE)2.Topper among all the sections in PCM. (School is affiliated with CBSE and very renowed school among the nation, located outside the nation too)3.Overall 18th rank in the coaching tests (JEE Advanced Tests)4.Got merit certificate from CBSE and Many more. (Mentioning about only these 2-3 years)JOURNEY :When I came into 11th class, I stopped talking to each and every friend of mine (even my best female friend) {well that does not matter}. I start working hard alot in the whole duration of class 11th. My teachers gave example of mine (Proud moment).In the whole duration of this journey i never went anywhere (farewell, marriage, bday, trips, movies, etc),just working on my dream. I sacrifices alot. After came into 12th class i drop out from the school and joined dummy school which is affiliated with private board. (MISTAKE - 1)My physics lecturer said to not to leave the school, but go against him. (MISTAKE - 2) further reason behind that I compare myself unknowingly to one of my friend (MISTAKE - 3).I agree even some times I watched videos on youtube and got addicted, but sometines only. (MISTAKE - 4) I have done many mistakes in some or other way (Being unware of it). In the last you know why i failed JEE.The books I have solved :A DAS GUPTA (problem plus IIT maths)SK GOYAL (arihant publications)CENGAGE (For maths : sometimes)S. L. LONEY (For coordinate only)COACHING PACKAGES (Complete Mains + Advanced level)HC VERMA (For selected chapters)HALIDAY RESNICK (For selected chapters in 12th class)DC PANDEY (Most of times in 12th class)VISION INFINITY COACHING PACKAGE (**not my coaching)RANJEET SHAHI (for physical chemistry)P. BAHADUR (for physical chemistry too)HIMASHU PANDEY (for organic chemistry)MS CHAUHAN (sometimes for organic chemistry)SOLOMONS (for theory)RD SHARMA(for basic learning in class 11th)AMIT AGRAWAL (for calculus : great book)PREVIOUS 36 YEARS (In last 3 months)And other resources (REVISING NOTES, SOLVING CLASS ROOM QUESTIONS, WATCHING VIDEO LECTURES, etc.)Here's my book shelf is (NOTES + BOOKS + MOCK TESTS)MISTAKES:I am unknowingly following a person, what we called as ‘guide and flow’.I always go against my parents and teachers decision and fall with a speed of light. (Realised)I forgot myself, my strengths and looking around people what they're doing, commonly known as “bhed chaal”.I not searched about JEE and just start preparing for it with an assumption that JEE gives only NIT's and IIT's.Because of JEE, I don't know about various exams conducted by IIIT hyderabad, IISC's, other exams like NEST, NATA, etc.My speed problem ~ biggest problem. If you ignore all of the above, after all its Ok. But speed is much. You know I attend 20 - 30 questions in JEE MAINS 2018. Because i consider about hard work, and then I realised why people say to do smart work. (Much Depreessed)This is my two years preparation. Now coming to the main point how i failed.EXAM DAY (8th April)I Lose my confidence during exam. Time is running so fast like a bullet train.I become so afraid that what happens to me because I left with 1 hr 40 mins with complete physics and maths section.I really very much depressed after giving paper. I lost my temperament, I stuck onto just chemistry and giving each and every question atleast 3-4 tries (why I don't know even).I filled some bubbles wrong due to anxiety and mess with my paper.After coming home i checked with Motion kota classes answer key and getting in between 50-60 marks out of 360 (general category) . Although my estimated score in mock tests was found to be 160 - 200 out of 360.I am very much depressed and not even in a state of taking drop because already in my mind conflicts are going due to the reason i had took dummy which is affilated with private board as I already said. Even no backup because I haven't applied for exams like VITEEE, state board, etc.Either i should join some private institute or i have left with BITSAT on which I am working. Kindly bless me for this.I think you got your anwer. Hope atleast you learn something from my bunch of mistakes.EDIT -1 : Thank you very much to all for all your upvotes and blessings, it atleasts means to me that people are accepting my hard work and struggle throughout. I am disclosing my identity, I am Atharva Shrivastava, currently persuing BE from some state technical university.EDIT -2 : One thing i learnt about life is that its wonderful or even great to be a master in ordinary one's rather chasing to become a extra ordinary. (air quotes)