Developing A Response To A Learning Target: Fill & Download for Free

In most cases, disgust is cultural. Even things you would expect humans to have instinctive disgust for, such as feces, isn’t innately disgusting to infants or very young children prior to their being TAUGHT that it is.Mystery of DisgustSo, disgust is a trained response. We’re taught by our parents and peers that certain things are disgusting. Thereafter, we have a visceral response to them — we actually feel nauseous when confronted by them, and may even vomit if we have to come in contact with them.This is an instinct that is closely tied to cultural conditioning. The disgust response is instinctive, but its TARGET is learned.The vast majority of humans are not taught in early life that meat is disgusting, so they feel no disgust when eating it. It’s that simple.Developing a disgust response to something later in life if you haven’t been taught it as a young child is fairly rare, and most people simply won’t. When they do, it’s often because they had a bad experience with it that involved nausea and/or sickness.Something being exceptionally delicious can, with some work, overcome a disgust response. In other words, just because you were taught something is disgusting to eat doesn’t mean you can’t learn to love it, if, upon exposure, it tastes delicious and doesn’t make you ill. But it will probably take time.The very first cricket I ate was a difficult task. So was the very first escargot I ate. But now I have no issues eating them.I’ve overcome disgust to try raw oysters, too, and I don’t find them disgusting any longer, but I also don’t think they’re particularly delicious. (Not everything is to everyone).Likewise, a very bad experience with cooked spinach as a child left me with a disgust response to it that lasted decades. (Eventually overcome by introducing it as an ingredient rather than a main dish, and getting used to it).

The job of software development is exactly as demanding as it was 50 years ago, although the details are quite different. What has changed is management of software development.At the start of my career developers were treated like professional engineers. Projects spanned years. Though there was always pressure to get work done, the deadlines were far apart and somewhat abstract.Managers have learned to break work down into two-week nuggets they call “sprints.” Developers are nowadays treated like production workers in a factory, always rushed to meet the cadence of the assembly line. Instead of managing a project like a single long, obviously grueling marathon, it is managed as 50 consecutive sprints, with no time to rest in between. It goes without saying that this is a killing pace.Software development pays well, but in many ways, it is like working on a moving assembly line or in an Amazon warehouse under the supervision of a relentless computer. Business leaders have abdicated their human responsibility to manage people, because next quarter’s profits are higher if they give up their humanity.

“Do you think it's OK to read your teen daughter's diary if she's been acting very secretive and aloof?”Absolutely - if you want to destroy all trust with your daughter, this is the perfect way to go about it. It’s an invasion not only of her possessions but also her most private thoughts. Can you imagine how you’d feel if someone did that to you?However, if you want to actually build the relationship to the point where she voluntarily confides, and turns to you for help if she needs to, then I suggest a different approach.For example, making opportunities for her to speak and for you to listen empathically and non-judgementally to what’s going on in her life. Don’t talk at her. Pay attention to her words, but also to her feelings and what she doesn’t say. Don’t push her for confidences, don’t interrogate her. Let her know that you’re her greatest supporter and will be with her no matter what.So, I’d suggest the side by side approach. Car journeys are perfect for this, so is working on preparing a meal together. You’re together, but not in a confrontational pose. She’s not obviously the target of your attention, so you’ll both be more relaxed. You can create space to gift her your awareness and emotions as well as your physical presence. Allow her to take the lead, and let the conversation flow where it will. You may need to allow plenty of time on apparent inconsequentials before she’s ready to speak about sensitive topics.This is how you will build up your relationship and develop it from a parent / child to a parent / young adult. There’s a huge difference. When your “child” becomes a “teen”, it’s the parent who needs to adapt, constantly, to the young person’s journey to maturity. Give them space to mess up - they’ll learn from it. Be there for broken hearts and helping overcome obstacles. You cannot control your child’s life anymore. Those days are gone. You can guide, that’s all - she has to internalise a value structure and make it her own.The teenage years are all about developing a responsible, trustworthy and independent adult. To do this, you need to allow her to mature, to take responsibility and to earn your trust while also learning to trust herself.Parenting teens is the gradual art of letting go.And no part of that involves reading her diary.