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The therapy was not a bad experience, but the billing procedures disturbed me. Maybe some other therapists do this too and it is indeed at one end of the range of acceptability. I conducted a law practice and had to deal with payment problems so the issues are not unfamiliar to me.In my early forties, I had reason to seek individual counseling. But my therapist, a solo practitioner, was not signed on to my insurance plan and so I paid the fee with a check at the end of every meeting.I must have been going through a tough time and not tracking my bank balance, and so a check was returned marked “insufficient funds.” When presented with this by the therapist, I immediately covered it in cash plus the bank fee.But then they said, before the session was over, “For all future sessions, you will need to bring in cash.” I asked for a waiver in that this was a one time occurrence during a relationship of several years, but they were adamant. Feeling dependent on the therapist due to the issues we had worked on in depth, I continued to see them.I never brought it up again, but perhaps I should have. I felt that my trustworthy and respectful behavior throughout our therapist-client relationship over time had not been taken into account. And that, ultimately, I myself had not been taken into account. I started to feel like I had to be perfect, starting with the requested form of payment, and without exception.Looking back, I think I understand the feeling of being the less powerful in a relationship and how the more powerful party can use their position to intimidate or control the other.Therapists surely have a huge responsibility towards the well-being of their clients, and I credit them for caring enough to take on this complex challenge as their life's work.Maybe I did take it the wrong way. But I found it disturbing then. And I wouldn’t be writing about it here if I didn’t feel pretty much the same now.Original Question: What was your worst experience in therapy?

The Short Answer: He is lying to you to cover up his inadequacy. Psychologists can train to do any form of therapy. I am a psychologist and I am certified in four different types of therapy—Masterson’s approach to personality disorders, Gestalt therapy, Ericksonian Hypnotherapy, and Group therapy. I am adequate at a few more. I ask lots of questions. Find a better trained therapists who does not tell big fibs!A2AElinor Greenberg, PhD, CGPIn private practice in NYC and the author of the book: Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations.www.elinorgreenberg.com

Is the patient attempting to make contact outside the scheduled sessions?Is the patient able to handle any change in regular sessions because of holidays or ill health?Is the patient trying to extend the length of sessions by bringing up new topics as the session ends? Getting emotional only in the last few minutes of sessions?Is the patient, bringing little gifts and tokens, even though the psychologist has said that they cannot receive gifts, no matter how small?Sending “friend” requests on Facebook or other social media. An ethical and competent therapist would have explained at the beginning that the therapy relationship wasn’t a friendship and it would be unethical to have any other kind of relationship outside therapy, even when therapy had ended.There are other clues - dependency, flirtation, seductiveness, regression to child-like behaviour ………….Last, but not least, how does the psychologist feel about the patient? This gives evidence of the counter-transference in the psychologist and whether it is forming attachment in the psychologist. The psychologist should deal with this in sessions with the supervisor and/or in their own therapy sessions.