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Three weeks ago, I graduated from Technical University of Munich with a Master’s degree in Management & Technology.I’m not wearing the gown in this picture yet, but it’s the favorite one I took with my parents that day:That day, November 29, 2019, marked the end of a very long journey for me - and the beginning of a new one.It was the end of nearly ten years of fighting, struggling, learning, failing, repeating, but always continuing my way through the German academic system.It was also the first day of the rest of my life as a full-time writer.See how I said that without even blinking?Ten years is a long time. While I was constantly second-guessing myself, wondering about the teaching methods, the practicality, the purpose, and the kind of career and life academia would give me later on, I also used that decade to do something about it.That same day, Nov 29, also happened to be Black Friday. While I was out with my parents, at the ceremony, having dinner with my friends and later partying at a club, my website made over $2,000.$2,000 in a single day.Granted, it was the best day of the year, but still. That’s pretty damn amazing.My name is Niklas Göke. I’m 28 years old. The year I finished grad school, I made over $100,000. I’ve never held a normal job, and I hope I never will.Every day, I feel grateful that I get to do what I love, that it pays my bills, and that I’m in control of my time. I live a very happy life.It’s not perfect. I have problems, issues, things to work on with myself and others. But I feel I’m in the best position I could possibly be to have a wonderful, fulfilling future.These are the five best decisions I’ve made in my life thus far.1. Live and study in a foreign country.Last year, I bumped into an old classmate on a grocery store parking lot. I hadn’t seen that guy in at least five years. He was returning deposit bottles from his workplace.We chatted for a second and, when I asked him what was new, he said: “Oh, you know, same same.”I was surprised at first because, after five years, how can you even say that? But then it clicked: He never left town. He was hanging around with the same people in the same locations, doing the same things.I see that in a lot of people. They get stuck.I know it’s still more common in the West for parents to expect their children to move out around the age of 18, to earn their own money, to live elsewhere and build their own life.I know it’s not the only way to find meaning and happiness, but in a world that’s more and more built around the individual, with more and more possibilities to self-actualize, it ultimately worked out well for me.Maybe, my friend is happy. But I’m not so sure. He had a fashion startup once. He was so excited about it. I wish he would see it through. But he’d have to give up the familiar to do it. And, like many others, it seems he’s not willing to.My parents were always 100% supportive, but they also made it clear they want me to figure things out on my own - because they knew they couldn’t do it for me. That’s not just smart parenting, it’s accepting a universal truth:At the end of the day, it’s your life. No one can figure it out for you.Striking out on your own by moving somewhere else, taking a job that scares you, learning to live in a foreign culture is one of the best ways to realize that your life does indeed belong to you and you alone.If you never get out there, if you always stay inside the familiar setting you’ve always known, you’ll also always wonder.“Am I just satisfying other people’s expectations?”“What do I really want?”In 2011, I applied to study abroad in the USA via a state scholarship. In 2012, I went there.I kept an open mind, let people and ideas from all kinds of cultures affect me, and read everything I could get my hands on that seemed like it could help me figure out my path in life.I had no idea what I was doing, but I was learning more and faster than ever before.I learned what it means to feel alone. I learned how much was out there, how much was possible that I didn’t even see before. I learned that I could survive mono on my own, even if it sucked.Most importantly, I learned that if I didn’t figure out how I want to spend this one-time gift we call life, no one else would do it for me.So, finally, I started doing the hardest work there is, according to Henry Ford. I started to think - and to do it for myself.2. Start fighting my bad habits.One of the many things I started reading about in my semester abroad was habits.Habits of people who had made millions and lost them all, habits of people who were happy, habits of people who forged their own path.At some point, a visit to the doctor back when I was 12 years old flashed before my eyes:“Ah, it’s natural. He’ll drop it by the time he’s 18 or so.”The doctor was talking about my habit of biting nails, something I’d picked up a year or two earlier, and that my mom was worried about. Of course, I never dropped the habit.Back in my tiny, 70 sqft room, I looked down at my hands. My nails were short, rough, and visibly chewn off. Like always. I was 21 years old.“18 my ass,” I thought. And then, I decided to do something about it. I read more about habits. I studied the science behind them. And then, I gave myself a challenge: For 24 hours, I would not bite my nails.The next day was brutal. I kept staring at my hands in class all day. I caught myself moving them towards my mouth every two minutes. At some point, they started shaking. Shaking! Can you imagine? Like an alcoholic on withdrawal.But eventually, I made it through. The next day, it was a little bit easier. No more shaking. I didn’t have to catch myself so often. The day after that, it was a little easier still.One week later, I saw something I hadn’t seen in nearly ten years: My nails had grown at an even pace. They were clean, even, and made a noise when I tapped my fingers on the table.That was the first habit I actively battled, and it showed me that habits are the patterns that subconsciusly steer our entire life.I wouldn’t be able to formulate this until years later, but, on some level, I understood that, as James Clear so eloquently puts it, “Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement.”I have been working a little bit on my habits every day since.I have fought bad habits, like watching porn, drinking alcohol, and laziness. I have built good habits, like writing, a morning routine, and meditation.I have picked up habits, dropped habits, and am always on the lookout for what habits I need for the current and next stage of my life.It’s been eight years, and my interest is still compounding. Their effect grows a little every day. And the rewards get bigger by the minute.3. Get travel out of the way early.Materialism is so 1999. Today, we have experialism.I made up that word, but you can guess what it means: Forever chasing experiences in a futile attempt to stuff the holes inside your psyche and attain lasting happiness.Travel just happes to be our main weapon of choice.As much as moving somewhere and staying there helps you figure out your life, constantly traveling around like a tourist, never committing to any place and its people, does the opposite: It becomes self-defeating.The excitement of novelty wears off, the adaptation patterns repeat, and every next escape from your mundane, everyday routine brings less relief.I see people in all kinds of careers and industries falling into this trap. Nurses, teachers, consultants, freelancers. Sometimes, they like their job. Often, they don’t.But instead of fixing their job, of getting to work where they are, they work to travel. They live to escape, instead of escaping the trap by learning how to live.The great writer and cartoonist More To That wrote:We tend to grossly overestimate the pleasure brought forth by new experiences and underestimate the power of finding meaning in current ones.Traveling is a tool. It’s useful in breaking up your routine from time to time. It can provide you with new perspectives. It’s a way to recover after an exhausting stretch of life.But if travel becomes an end, you’ll never reach your destination.You’ll never feel like you’ve seen enough, because, as Seneca wrote some 2,000 years ago, you’ll always take your problems with you.You should change your attitude, not your surroundings. You may have crossed the expanse of sea, and as our Virgil says, ‘lands and cities may grow distant’, but your faults will follow you wherever you reach.This is what Socrates said to a man who was complaining: ‘Why are you surprised that traveling does you no good, when you are carrying your own state of mind around with you? The same cause is weighing you down now which drove you from home.’You ask me why this flight is not helping you? Because you are in your own company.While I was studying in the US, I traveled a lot.I spent the majority of my savings, about $10,000 or so, on experiences. I went to Canada, Mexico, and some 25 US states. The next year, I traveled even more with a friend. I went to Japan, Sri Lanka, Korea, and Australia.My parents gave me their blessing. They said if I felt what I spend the money on will be of value to me, I should do it. They trusted me, and they were right. I did learn an incredibly valuable lesson: Travel is not the answer.After I came back from my last big trip in 2013, I didn’t board a plane for three years. I’ve only taken a handful of short trips since then, and I’m only slowly expanding that again now.I decided to settle. I decided to build. I concluded I could find meaning and happiness anywhere, as long as I worked on it. And I did.Instead of painting myself into a corner with some job that could fund the occasional escape but not deliver joy on the normal, boring days, I spent the next five years figuring out and building the foundation of a career that can now last me a lifetime.4. Use my last money to buy a Macbook.Yeah. Not a laptop. A Macbook. I know, fanboy alert, right? Well, there’s more to this story.By the time I was about to return to Germany in 2013, my savings fund had shrunk significantly, mostly due to my expenses in the jet-set column.The first Macbook with a retina display had just come out, and I couldn’t help but think this’d be the tool that would cement my new dedication towards figuring out this thing called life.I used my last $2,300 dollars to buy a 15″ Macbook Pro Retina, and I didn’t regret that purchase for a second.From the outside, it didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t that I didn’t have a laptop. It wasn’t that I had some specific task I needed it for. A friend even called me out on it a little bit.“Wow, you’re really treating yourself huh? You sure you know what you’re doing?”I have no idea why I said it because I in fact wasn’t, but I just replied: “Trust me. I know exactly what I’m doing.”To this day, I’m not sure why it had to be a Macbook.Maybe, it was because I had read Steve Jobs’ biography two years before, and I felt inspired by his life and the whole Apple story. Maybe, it was because I’d seen everyone else on campus use them, and they seemed fast and useful.Or maybe, it was simply about making a statement. A commitment to who I would become.On the very first day, I dropped my camera on my new Macbook. The dent is still there. I can feel it right now. I think it was fate. It’s the dent in the universe Steve talked about.It’s been seven years, and I still use that laptop. It’s pretty beaten now. The battery died ages ago. I have to keep it on power for it to run. It’s a lot slower. But it still works.In that time, I have made over $300,000 using nothing but that laptop, my brain, and an internet connection.Talk about a return on investment.From the second I got it, my Macbook was a symbol of choosing myself. I learned every keyboard shortcut, every browser hack, and constantly re-worked my setup to find the best one.This was it. This was the only tool I needed to find myself, create myself, re-invent myself, and I was determined to not stop until I saw that process through. And I did.I still am. And I often remember that the right investment in yourself at the right time is priceless. No matter what it may look like to the outside world.5. Ignore everyone’s advice, including that of the people I love the most.My uncle has been a partner at a big consulting company for over 20 years.When I graduated high school, all I knew was that I was interested in business and economics and wanted to make money. I asked him: “What should I do?”He told me to get a certain degree from a certain school because it’d set me up for a career like his - and that’s what I did.It took me two years and - back to my first decision - a life in a new environment to realize: What he does is great for him, but it’s not for me.I still loved business. I still wanted to make money. But I didn’t want to do it while working 80+ hours a week creating PowerPoint slides for someone else.The consulting industry isn’t what it was 20 years ago. You can’t rise through the ranks as quickly. At the same time, you now have so many other options to make money.As I learned more about these new careers in my stay abroad - startups, creative careers, freelancing - I slowly stopped accepting my uncle’s advice. It was hard. It got ugly.In one of our last career-related exchanges, when I was already working for myself, I told him I wanted to focus on doing work that is fun.He said: “Well, good luck with that.”One of the hardest things you’ll ever do is reject well-intended advice from kind people while you still don’t have the answers yourself.It’s a bit like trying to pick a color for the walls of your room: You have no idea what you want until you see it.So you sit through a parade of people, all presenting you with different colors, and you just go, “No, that’s not it,” forever. Until the right one hits you.This is painful for the people showing you colors because they hope whatever color they show you next is the one you’ll choose. They’re doing their best.It’s also painful for you because you can see their disappointed faces, but all you can say is, “I’m really sorry, I just don’t know.”Back then, all I knew was that I had to find a way to determine my strengths and leverage them into some kind of independent, fulfilling career.I didn’t know what those strengths were yet, and I had no clue what that career could look like, but I knew I was the only one who could find the answers.From the time I first broke with my uncle’s advice, it would be another two years before I finally started working for myself. After that, it would be another three years until I made a full-time income.That’s five years of testing, trying, failing, all while having to politely nod and say, “No, thanks!” every time someone who cared about me gave me a good idea or great piece of advice that just wasn’t for me.When all the online marketing gurus said to focus on becoming a highly paid freelancer, I decided to build a website instead.When everyone on Reddit told me that website would never amount to anything, I relied on my gut and data that said they were wrong.When my parents made some good arguments for getting a Master’s degree, I ignored them and went into my 2nd year as a solo entrepreneur.I wasn’t always right when I rejected people’s advice. That website did amount to a lot - but I also did end up getting a Master’s degree.However, the only way for even the best advice to work is for you to come around to it on your own schedule.You can’t force great decisions down people’s throats. You can’t make yourself want to do something you can’t believe in just yet.So even if it’s painful, pass on the wrong colors. Have faith in yourself and your decisions. Trust that your life will unfold the right way at the right time, and that the people you care about will be there to see it. Most of the time, they will.After all, they once went through the same process themselves - and maybe still are.My name is Niklas Göke. I am a writer. This is my story. I hope it’ll help you. I hope it’ll inspire you to tell yours. We need more people doing so. More people sharing their thoughts, emotions, experiences - so we can all learn together.That’s a decision I can get behind. Who knows? Maybe it’ll be the best one you ever make.

“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.” - Mahatma GandhiBy investing time into studying, learning and self-education…I’ve been able to take full control of my life. After spending thousands of hours studying highly successful & wealthy people, I’ve learned that happiness comes from progress.I continue to study high achievers and self-made millionaires because they’ve been able to build a life of true happiness, freedom and abundance which I aspire to build for myself.They inspire me to go after my dreams because if they can do it, I know I can too. This is a decision I made after watching ‘The Secret” about six years ago. I was at rock bottom mentally, emotionally, and spiritually after my mom passed away.That documentary inspired me to take action. I was determined to learn how I could use the law of attraction to achieve success in my own life. I felt hope for my future and I was fascinated by how our thoughts could create our reality.I started spending most of my free time watching videos on YouTube about the law of attraction and the power of the mind. Channels like “YouAreCreators” and “Actualized.org” helped me re-wire my mindset for positivity and success.By making the decision to invest time into learning how to develop a success mindset; I’ve been able to improve my physical health, mental health, relationships, career, income and took control of my destiny.Here are some actionable steps you can take to own your life:1)Re-Wire Your MindOne of the biggest realizations I had through personal development was learning that we have an average of 60,000 thoughts a day. Research shows that we have 60,000 thoughts daily and 95% of them are the same as yesterday.Not only are 95% of thoughts the same as yesterday’s but 80% of them are negative for most of us. This isn’t just because you’re a “negative person.” The real reason comes down to what we were taught growing up.As children, our mind was programmed by everything around us. Our parents, teachers, religious leaders, and what we watched on T.V all had a strong effect on how we think and what we believe about ourselves and the world.The more I learned about the law of attraction and the power of the mind, I knew that I needed to start re-wiring my mindset for positivity and success. I had to expose myself less to negative media and consume more empowering content.The only way I was going to re-wire my mind was by feeding it more positive information than negative. I had to adopt certain practices that would allow me to program my mind. Some of these practices included:Writing down positive affirmations dailyFocusing on positive self-talk dailyWatching & listening to empowering content dailyVisualizing and thinking about what I desired in my life dailyThis is when I started noticing some remarkable changes happening in my life. I got a new position at my job, started making more money, felt happier being at work, got more serious about my health, and started financing my own car.What I realized about the law of attraction is that it isn’t just about focusing your mind on what you desire in life, it’s that constantly focusing on what you desire inspires you to eventually match your thoughts with your actions.How It WorksIf you write down & say to yourself at least three times a day “I am the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life.” What will happen is your mind starts to accept that idea to be true. Affirmations can act as the fuel to your will power.Your mind will stay focused on that goal & you’ll have no choice but to start making healthy decisions. As you continue to repeat these words to yourself, the easier it will be to make healthy choices because that’s what you’re focused on.The only thing that really holds us back are the negative thoughts we focus on such as “this won’t work”, “I could never be healthy” or “I’ll just embarass myself.” These thoughts will make you feel bad & you’ll never want to take action.The next time these thoughts flash across your mind, challenge yourself to think the exact opposite. Each negative thought that you catch with your awareness will tell your brain to alert you every time these thoughts arise which will give you the opportunity to change them in that moment.Every “I can’t” must become an “I can.”2)Take Massive ActionEvery successful person I’ve studied has mentioned the importance of taking action. Action is what seperates the high acheivers from the average person. The only way your life can change is if you decide to change.For example, before I started writing articles, I would affirm to myself “I am a very successful writer & inspire millions around the world”, “I love that my books are inspiring millions around the world” or “my book is a #1 seller.”These were the affirmations that I actually have written down in my journal. I honestly didn’t know how or where to even begin sharing my story. I trusted in the process and believed that the answers would eventually come to me.On October 9th 2017, the answer came. I attracted the answer into my life because my mind was looking for the opportunity. I watched a video with GaryVee where he talked about how writing on Medium was a place to pump out articles.October 9th was the day I wrote my first article ever on Medium.Two years later I’m extremely grateful to say that my articles have received over 1.3 million views. By aligning my thoughts and actions with the dreams I aspired to make a reality… it happened.What They Don’t Tell YouI didn’t just focus my thoughts on my dreams..I also took action on them. That’s what some of these law of attraction educators don’t tell you. They make you buy a course or their books. But this knowledge should be free to the masses.As I started to study self-made millionaires and highly successful entrepreneurs, I noticed a pattern. Many of them would never mention the law of attraction but they would talk about visualizing your goals and focusing on your desires.That’s when I knew that their were people who have achieved their dreams using the law of attraction and didn’t even realize it. The law of cause and effect has much to do with their success. Whether you do something or not will create a consequence either positive or negative.Your thoughts create the map of what’s possible for you and when your actions align with what you are envisioning for the future, it molds your desires into existence. Your thoughts are constantly telling your brain what to look for and what to do.What I’ve learned about our thoughts is that thoughts create emotions. This is very important because depending on what you focus your thoughts on, you’ll create a corresponding emotion which is either positive or negative.If you want to get fit and you focus your thoughts on “this won’t work”, “I’m going to embarrass myself”, and “I can’t stay committed” then you’ll create feelings of shame and insecurity which will ensure you never take action.ConclusionAs I mentioned before, if you focus on thoughts such as “I’ll do my best”, I know I’ll get better with practice” and “If others can do it, I can too”, then you’ll create the feeling of confidence and hope which will inspire you to take action.What blows my mind even more is that your constant thoughts become your deepest beliefs. Why you ask? It’s because what you experience in your reality comes from your habitual thoughts and actions. That’s very practical.For example, when you say to yourself “I can never be healthy” and that’s all you think about; your actions match that thought by you eating junk food all the time and never exercising, then of course you won’t be healthy.You do this enough times and you’ll really believe that you can’t be healthy because you constantly tell yourself you can’t and your behaviors match that reality. Doing this over and over will eventually instill a belief that you can’t be healthy.I challenge you to start taking control of your thoughts because your thinking guides your emotions which guides your actions.You are the author of your story, don’t let others hold the pen.Thank you for taking the time to read my content! Please upvote and comment any feedback.Message Me If You Want FREE coaching on HOW to reach over 1,000,000 views on your articles!Follow me here on Quora and on Medium for more tips on how to live your BEST life!

When I was 5 months into my first pregnancy we found out that the baby had such an extreme case of genital deformation that there would never be a chance of having a sexual life; in fact the deformations were so severe that they couldn't even confirm the gender. The baby had a non-functioning bladder fused on the outside of the stomach, which would mean that a catheter would have to be used to urinate. Internal sexual organs were affected as well. My husband and I spent 2 weeks meeting with specialists to confirm the diagnosis and listen to various life options and best/worst case scenarios. It looked very bleak to us as most people with this specific condition commit suicide or attempt to commit suicide when they are in their teens or later in life. Just meeting with the doctors was difficult because you had to ask a lot of hard questions and try not to cry as you heard the answers. And of course we kept wanting to hear that the condition wasn't so bad after all, but that didn't happen.My husband and I did not want to put a person through an entire life of psychological pain and torment. We don't think that as parents you can "love the pain away". We made the decision to end the pregnancy and I had an abortion. It was very difficult to have to tell the doctor to end your baby's life. We do not regret our decision. We are just sad that this had to happen to a little baby. It was devastating to lose a child and I still get teary eyed when I think about how I felt empty inside after I came home from the hospital and didn't have my baby inside of me.I'm sharing this story because I know there are other people out there who have to make hard decisions like this. I am thankful that I live in a country where I am able to make that choice.