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Is CAT (IIM) not suitable for introverts?
Okay! So I cannot talk about other introverts at IIMs.But, I can surely talk about myself and I will try to generalize my own experiences so that you can choose to decide whether IIMs are suitable for introverts or not.So, as long as talking ‘about’ introverts seems easier than talking ‘to’ introverts, I think, we shouldn’t mind taking some time to know them better.Yes, I am an introvert and even the term ‘deep blue introvert’ wouldn’t be just blue enough to describe meMy silence would be the first and last thing observed about me by any random observer.And, I think I am so silent that I can even make Dr. Manmohan Singh look talkative.Saying simple little things like ‘Hey what’s up’ can me way more difficult for me than analyzing the balance sheet of a company.And, ‘Small Talk’ is the biggest talk I ever had.Sometimes, two people can get lost in a chit-chat for hours in a row, before realizing that there is a third person called ‘Khalid’ sitting in the room, who hasn’t spoken a word yet.That may sound a bit eerie to you, but, usually I am more lost into my own thoughts rather than taking notes of other people conversations.As an ever-quiet person, I am also an easy target for people who just couldn’t stop talking about themselves.For some reason, such people will always have something or the other to talk about.Like an event in their life, which they think I have never witnessed before. Or a cliché joke, which they think that they invented on the spot.Or an opinion on politics and society, which according to them, will change the face of earth.I try hard to listen to all of them. And, sometimes I try so hard that I end up giving long silent stares to them, as they freak out and look for cover.When not making things weird for other people by my silent staring eyes, I sometimes do take part in their intellectual talks starting like ‘ Aaj Weather kitna mast hai na’,to which I am able to somehow respond with supportive facts like ‘Haan temperature 22 degree centigrade aur humidity 53% dikha rha hai’Well, as you can imagine, such attempts hardly make things easier for me.The only tool which I have in my defence is a bright smile which I keep handy all the time, running on a default mode so that people won’t seek any other response from me.But, that smile which appeared to be innocent at one point of time has started to look a bit devious as I seem to creep out my friends all the time.I know you wanted to know about the life of introverts at IIMs, but, before that I will like to share a bit of background about me.Growing up in a large family, I was always surrounded with people talking ‘at’ me rather than talking ‘to’ me.And, my all-boys school life didn’t have much of respite either.All around me, I will find boys jumping, pushing and kicking around each other for reasons beyond my understanding. Obviously, as they grew up, they attained some kind of sophistication, and then they only punched and kicked each other for reasons within my understanding.I almost never talked to anybody at school. Except squeaking ‘Present Teacher’ in the early morning attendance, my lips would be sealed all the time.Then, in between periods, my desk partner will always be excited to tell me stories of ‘How he had so much fun last evening’.Sometimes, I will drift off and get lost into details of his stories as I would imagine myself having the same fun time which he was talking about.Like a double edge sword, such visualizations not only gave me the power to see and feel things which I never had but, also a sense of false hope for things which I will never have.For most part of my early school life, I wasn’t really good at academics.Part of the reason was that I always felt threatened by my teachers. And like some universal law of nature, these teachers expected some kind of discipline and regularity from me which I never had.Getting on the school bus, copying things from the blackboard onto my notebook, waiting for the recess bell and jumping back on the school bus were the only few tasks that I was automated for.Anything apart from the daily tasks was something which made me feel ill-designed for.The worst part was that even though the shocks were lot more common than I expected, I never knew how to face them.Like, I will only come to know that the exams has started when early morning I will see everyone in the class feverishly reading their notebooksSince, even homework was only like a weekly event in our school, I never did that either.Tests, exams, home-works, poetry recitals were all like natural disasters to me. They were a disaster every time they happened and it all appeared natural to me.After, a point of time my teachers also stopped expecting any good coming from me.But, one day, all of a sudden, my elder sister decided to do my homework because she had finished hers’ early and had nothing better to do in life.My teacher was surprisingly pleased seeing my home-work.She was so happy that she gave me a Cadbury 5-Star, only after struggling to take it out from the smallest zip of her big black purse.I ate the chocolate and gave the wrapper to my sister.I thought she liked to collect shiny toffee wrappers.But, for some reason she didn’t liked it and started acting weird. Even weirder than me.And from that day onwards, she never did my home-work again. Bad sister.In school, Games period would be a bit of relief.Football, and not cricket, was the most popular game in our school.Even though I never knew which side I was playing for, I seemed to be quite enthusiastic about it.When not being pushed and pulled by the other kids, I was trying to run after the ball.Sometimes, the highest point of the day would be me kicking the ball at least once. Or the ball managing to kick my legs. Whichever.At home, I remember my longest conversations would be with my mom. She used to ask, ‘Khana Khayega’, and with an appropriate shake of my head, I would say, ‘Haan’ or a ‘Na’.Sometimes she use to prolong the conversations with questions like, ‘Sabzi lega ki chutney lega’. And my monologue responses to similar questions will be enough for my mom to design my future food preferences.The people at my school didn’t know the reality at my home.The people at my home didn’t know the reality at my school.And, as the introvert I am, I struggled to understand the reality of either.The whole world seemed to be a very strange place to me. In a way, it still is.In much ways, my life mimicked that of Darsheel Safary in Taare Zameen par.Lost in the imaginary world of my own thoughts, I will only be rescued by the reality of my daily ritual.I was always told by others that there is a genuine problem in the way I am and I wouldn’t survive this harsh world out there.And, somehow, I started believing that they are always right and I am wrong.My silence was taken as a sign for my dumbness and other ‘intelligent’ people seemed to have all kinds of solutions to my problems.But, that was then.And things might have slightly changed as they appear to me now.So, let’s fast forward a decade and few years and take you to my life at IIM.I joined IIM Lucknow in the year 2015 after a couple of years of experience in a R&D company.I had decided that I won’t join IIMs A/B/C.You know Why? Because they never called me. That’s why.Bad A/B/C.At Lucknow, there used to be these 2 guys who just sat behind me in the class. One was a Mechanical Engineer from IIT Madras and the other was an Electronics engineer from BIT Mesra.In the 15min. breaks, we will often talk to each other about the new kind of life at IIM L. What was common to all 3 of us was that we were deep introverts who hadn’t expected life at IIM to be this crazy.It all seemed meaningless to us, running after classes, presentations, applications, quizzes with no sense of direction.What seemed stranger was the fact that the majority of people were not only enjoying the same life, but, also found time for parties and celebrations.At least it appeared to be so.We concluded, that probably, we were not made for this kind of place and any life outside this place would be a much better life.And, after a month or so, the Mesra guy suddenly left the college.As I broke this news to the other guy, we both had a long heart to heart conversation.And, I don’t know what insights this guy gathered from the conversation, but soon after the mid-sems, he also took off.I had my own long list of personal issues to deal with, apart from the life at IIM, and as I sat alone in the room staring at my own reflection in the unpowered laptop screen, I wondered what all this meant for me.Well, the problems obviously never stopped there.And, I can go on telling you my story to show how I faced different challenges, but, before that I wanted you to be clear on what do I mean by introversion.For most part of the century, Introversion was seen as a disease, a disorder which needs to be treated as a medical condition.It is like giving a man pills to act like a woman or the other way round.Nobody wanted to believe that introversion is a natural state.Still, companies like Pfizer makes pills to cure introversion.And as long as doctors are making money on the deal, they have no problem prescribing you such medicines.So, is introversion really a natural state?Yes, introversion is very much a natural state, but nobody is 100% introvert or 100% extrovert and most people show degrees of introversion/extroversion depending on the situation.Preliminary research says that roughly 70% of people in this world are extroverts.In a place like IIM, this number could be as high as 90% depending upon the kind of input process chosen by them.However, research also says that there is a good number of self-proclaimed extroverts who are actually introverts, but claim the opposite because of the greater social acceptance shown towards the other.So, who exactly is an introvert?Biologically speaking, introverts are over-stimulated individuals whose sensitivity to events, people and surroundings are very high and hence they always need some alone time to recharge their minds and bodies.Similarly, extroverts are under-stimulated individuals who constantly need presence of other individuals to recharge themselves.Both introverts and extroverts are born wired like that and the early years of their growing up could be elemental in determining how good they become in managing their natural state.You will often hear people complaining, ‘I am getting bored’. Well, these people are actually extroverts who are not getting the required amount of neural stimulation to feel normal.Left alone to themselves, these extroverts will develop similar levels of stress as an introvert might get in a huge group of friends.The concept of boredom does not typically apply to introverts because their minds are already running on a high and the need of an external action is not felt.It is easy for an extrovert to assume that introverts are slow thinkers, because they are reluctant to give immediate response to any normal question.However, this assumption does not even come close to the actual truth.An introverts mind might be running with so many multiple thoughts at the same time that it would be difficult to make sense of them.An introvert might have already finished answering a question in his/her mind, while in reality he/she might have hardly spoken a word.It is this huge discrepancy between rates of processed thoughts and actual words spoken, which is so difficult for an introvert to manage.No wonder, a written communication always seems easier for an introvert as the extra time to process thoughts gives better results for them.And you was also hear extroverts complaining that introverts are shy.So are Introverts really shy?Often confused to one and the same, shyness and introversion may not necessarily mean the same thing.Simply put, introverts are people who prefer alone time and will mostly try to stay away from any group activity in which they are expected to behave like extroverts.Whereas, ‘Shy’ people are those who fear negative reactions from other people in anticipation for their future actions.To the outside world, both of them might appear the same, but, if you try to analyze the reason behind a ‘no’ coming from an introvert, you will understand them better.As a person, I am not necessarily ‘Shy’ because I do seek out many opportunities even though I know that there is a high chance of negation.Also, I have been blunt a lot of times where I have directly hit the insecurity of the other person which he/she is hiding from.Obviously, people don’t appreciate such responses coming from my end.But, there is a good chance that an ‘introvert’ who is always told that he/she is wrong, might develop some level of shyness.So, as long as your career is concerned, it’s perfectly alright to be an introvert, but, it’s definitely not okay to be shy.If you think you are an introvert and feeling uncomfortable to do something which you have always wanted to do, then this is your ‘shyness’ and not your ‘introversion’ which is holding you back.More on this later, but let us get back to the case of introversion at IIMs.As we are discussing the issues faced by introverts at IIMs, I believe it would be better if we can club these issues under various sub-headings.And discussing them thereon would be more relatable for any introvert.So, let us start with the most basic one,Academics - At IIM Lucknow, I didn’t have a great CGPA. Actually I am just bragging. I didn’t even have a good CGPA.The easiest way to locate my marks in any excel sheet was to use a ‘MIN’ function and find my name somewhere around the top.But, trying to maintain a great CGPA at a postgraduate course is one of the most meaningless achievements in anybody’s life.It is like trying to hit 6 runs in the last ball of the match when you need more 125 runs to win.No matter how many marks you score, there is always someone scoring more than you. The key is to not make it a competition of sorts and just let be.As an introvert you can fall into two categories of people.The first, who are much disciplined and structured and who always seemed to be in control of most things, including their academic scores.Or, the other, who is so lost in his/her imaginary world that everything seems to be running on the emergency mode.Silence of the first one reeks of control and composure, and that of the second, is of confusion and disorder.I definitely did not belong to the former group as I was unwillingly running high with ‘carpe diem’ (Living in the Now). No matter whatever submissions I knew about, it had to be submitted ‘now’.So, as an introvert, you might feel that you are putting twice the effort as compared to other students and still not achieving half their results.Also you might be stuck, trying to understand the ‘why’ of everything when others are showing great results with just ‘how’ and ‘what’ of things.As PGP courses are designed, you don’t get enough time to learn any subject deeply, but you are expected to know a lot of different things.For an introvert who needs to spend good amount of time with books to understand the core concepts, this shortage of time may prove debilitating.Extroverts fare better because they tend to spend a lot of time with other people and will find something or the other useful to learn from their friends.Also, you might be aware that true learning and having a good CGPA are two totally different things.You need to spend a good amount of time learning concepts and applying them to get the real learning behind any subject.Whereas you can just manage a good CGPA by picking bits and pieces of information from other people and hope that the same is asked in the examinations.So you will always have to decide for yourself as in what your expectations are.If only a good CGPA matters to you, probably you need to use your listening skills to quickly learn from others.But, probably you should also remember that numbers on your grade-sheet/mark sheet is perhaps one of the poorest ways to measure your true knowledge and learning.Though, terrible as it is, numbers serve the major purpose of giving you the much needed confidence to act on new things.When you think you know something, you are much more likely to take an action than when you think you don’t.And then based on the failure/success of those actions, your confidence gets recalibrated every time.So, the point is that you have to fake confidence before doing something new and whether you chose to fake it with numbers or without numbers, the choice is yours.Donald Trump is faking himself for the last 7 decades into believing that he is the smartest person in the world. And today he is the President of America.I am sure you can do better than Donald Trump.Placements – Placements at IIMs are a lot like Indian marriages. For some reason or another, everybody needs to have at least one.Why? Because ‘Sharmaji ka Ladka’ and ‘Guptaji ki Beti’ also got one.The societal thought process behind ‘You ought to get married before 30’ is hardly any different from the thought process which says ‘You need to have a minimum placement of 20 LPA from an IIM’So, I am not saying that you should not bring objectivity to your goals by attaching numbers to them.But, what I am saying is that it is definitely wrong to let other people dictate those numbers to you.Obviously, the comparisons don’t stop there either.The madness of summers and final placements can only be replicated in the engagement and the actual marriage ceremonies.And just like an Indian marriage, you will find a host of pandits (placecom) who will find a dosh( poor academic past) in your kundali (CV)And, to remove that ‘dosh’, some seniors will give you automated solutions like,‘Join X number of committees and win Y number of case competitions and you have a shot at Mckinsey’Obviously, then you will realize that Mckinsey had some other plans.Simply put, all such advices are only traps which our minds are so likely to believe because we think shortcuts can give us everything.The problem with introverts is not that they fall for all such traps. In fact, extroverts show greater tendency in believing and falling for such traps.But, the problem with introverts is that they will suck at following such advices and when they don’t get what they were looking for, they will have a tendency to regret over the same.To be honest, any job placement is not worth the hype which is created before the placements and regretting thereafter, for not being able to get the same is something even worse.It is like you not only dated Harman Baweja thinking that he is Hrithik Roshan, but, then you also choose to cry afterwards, when he has dumped you.By the way, if you really ever dated Harman Baweja, then even crying won’t help.So am I asking you to run away from jobs and placements?No. In fact, quite the contrary. I want to you to really go for placements, but only for the right reasons.Running after only ‘Finance/Consult’ jobs just because everyone else is doing so is definitely not the right reason.And many people will just take Finance and Strategy as specializations because they sound cool.Honestly, to a marketer, Finance can be one of the most boring things ever taught in a B-School.Okay, don’t get angry. That’s just a perspective.Point is what is ‘Cool’ and what is ‘Uncool’ to you can only be found out when you actually test them for yourself.And that is exactly where IIM Placements come into picture.The 2 month summers opportunity is a perfect way to judge for yourself as in how much you are suited for any particular kind of job function.Not just that, take the immediate job placement also in the same way.Keep testing yourselves against other companies. You don’t have to be stuck in a job for long.It might take a few years, but then you will end up taking something as a career, which you might have always wanted to do and not just what ‘Sharmaji ka ladka’ and ‘Guptaji ki beti’ is doing.CV Preparation – As the smallest unit of currency in the transaction called ‘Placement’, CV points will never be enough for you.CV points are like ‘chillar coins’ you collect from the ‘dukanwalla’. You will have them even if you don’t need them.So, you will be running around the campus fetching the same, hoping that you will bring some uniqueness to your CV.But, then you will be surprised to find that the Placement committee has churned 400+ unique, but identical CVs.Out of 400 student CVs, more than 300 CVs will say ‘Single Handedlly organized the cultural and technical fest’.Another odd 250 CVs will felicitate themselves with the Émployee of the year award’.And at least a dozen or so would be talking about ‘Serial Innovation’ and ‘Entrepreneurship’.No wonder IIMs have such talented people.Obviously, not all those facts will be true.Exaggerating on your CVs and HR answers is something which almost every one of us is guilty of.And somehow introverts find it a lot more difficult to talk about their achievements than extroverts do.Especially, if they are not true.Extroverts can lie to your face and then can simultaneously believe that it is the actual truth.Most Introverts can’t. At least not without preparation.And this is because of the overthinking of the correctness of facts as mentioned, which may create some kind of dilemma for an introvert.As humans, our minds are designed to believe in our own exaggerations. And this is true for both introverts and extroverts.The only difference being that, for an introvert it is much tougher to take that first step towards any particular kind of factual exaggeration, whereas for an extrovert it directly comes out as an automated response.No wonder Sales teams are full of extroverts.When you are comfortable bragging in front of an interviewer, you raise much lesser suspicion about whatever you are talking about.Any skepticism you show towards your own achievements will hamper your confidence to such levels that it may have a devastating effects on the overall interview performances.So is there anything wrong with exaggerating facts on CV and Resumes?Well, this seems like an ethical question.But, in the kind of world we live in, we can always pick and choose ethics as per our convenience.So right now, I choose a ‘straight NO!’ for an answer.You may also choose yours.Anyways, Governments, firms and institutions exaggerate data all the time.Even a small baby might be unconsciously exaggerating its yelp to catch its’ mother’s attention.Exaggeration is not evil. Exaggeration is not innocence. Exaggeration is just another human tool for survival.In a world where Originality is a sin and Mediocrity a skill, you need to maintain tools like exaggeration for your self-defense.Everyone exaggerates to some extent or another and the people who actually claim that they never exaggerate are either very low on self-awareness or their self-defense itself is an exaggeration.And, exaggeration on your CVs should not be even called exaggeration at all. Nicely put, it can be termed, ‘Personal Marketing’.You should not look at your CV as a collection of facts and figures.Think of it as one ‘whole’ message, a kind of big picture.Look at your CV as your ‘Personal Marketing Story’.It is that ‘Story’ which you wanted to share with your recruiters in where you are trying to say that ‘Why you are perfect for that company’And since the competition is so high and you cannot be perfect for all the companies, you have to tweak the story to suit your purpose.Never let the presence/absence of some facts or figures compromise the overall message behind your story.Or as once Harsha Bhogle said, ‘Never let the truth come in the way of a good story’As a recent example, the Supreme Court acquitted A. Raja from the 2G Scam.It took 7 years for the Judiciary to declare that 1.76 lakh crore 2G Scam wasn’t a scam at all.Now whether that number was 0, Rs. 100 or 100 crores, is all just a perception.I am sure, Á . Raja’ is no more a saint in your eyes after the verdict, than he was before.The point is that the change in number from ‘1.76 lakh crores’ to ‘0’ has hardly changed your opinion about him.A number may be very useful to build up a credible story. And once the expected audience has perceived the story as intended, the number may not be important at all.So am I asking to lie on your CV?Haha! No, the Placement committee won’t let you, even if you want to.The recruiter spends very little time judging your CV and they need objective facts to select/reject you in the first round.So, your board marks, Graduation CGPA, undergard stream and College, professional certifications, No. of years of work-ex etc. are the main facts which build the story and the Placecom would be very thorough with those proofs.Other supporting facts like ‘Employee of the year Award’ etc. have minimal effect in your CV selection/rejection.You might have been the ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ or you might have been ‘Little Green Riding Hood’. How does that matter?These facts may be important to you, but they are surely not important to the recruiters or the placecom.And because Raja Harish Chandra never sat for job placements, recruiters already assume that every CV has some bit of fictional imagination behind it.And these recruiters will be smart enough to pick and choose what part of the story to believe in.So I am not asking to lie on your CV, but do ensure to create a great ‘Personal Marketing Story’But, if you cannot lie on your CV, how to create a great ‘Personal Marketing Story’?Okay, for everything that I choose to ‘say to you’, there will be always something which I choose ‘not to say to you’. And if you have already cracked CAT, probably you can crack this one too.Parties – It is not that introverts hate crowded places. In fact I am very comfortable in crowded places like airports, stations, local trains etc.But, as an introvert, I do sure feel some bit of discomfort in front of a crowd full of known people. And that is exactly what most parties are all about.I never boozed, smoked or smoked up all my 2 years in IIM, as a personal rule.As essential they are to any B-School party, I felt like some social criminal, breaking the normal accepted rules of the community.I remember people giving me side stares and wondering ‘What exactly is wrong with this guy, why can’t he act normal?’And this is not specific to a B-School or MBA, it is part of life everywhere.So, if you are an introvert who is okay with the above habits, then don’t restrict yourselves.Parties will be the easiest way to network and bond.And as others will tell you, getting high is the easiest way to move from introversion to extroversion.But, if you are not comfortable, then please don’t force yourselves to do the same.Do not suffer from FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).Parties don’t have expiration dates. If one goes, there comes another.Instead, try JOMO (Joy of Missing Out).I am sure as an introvert, you would have tons of interesting things to do than just attend a party.Most extroverts won’t understand this. And you don’t have to explain to them.Remember, people will always want you to act and behave in a way just like they do. Again, you don’t have to.The point is not making a big deal of such parties. If you want to go, just go.Don’t starve your natural self to feed your ideal self. At least not in parties.And, don’t be surprised if after 2 shots of martini your ‘ideal self’ is rolling on the floor, dancing to ‘Saat Samundar paar mein tere…”Group Projects/Case Competitions- As an introvert, you might have a real issue working with groups, especially with those people who take group projects as just another opportunity to chit-chat.Sometimes these group activities will look like a scene from ‘Big Boss’ – Few people trying to work while others trying to do everything but that.And because everybody in the group gets the same marks, there is no incentive to work harder than the other person.This also gives rise to free-riders.Free riders in your group are just like God. You know they exist, but you haven’t seen them.And you won’t see them until the day of actual presentation when they quietly come and stand behind you.Again, just like Gods, they will only show their presence and support when you were least expecting.Usually the first person who comes to you saying, ‘Chal Bhai group banate hai’ is the one who you should be running away from.Obviously this person has carried out his responsibility of forming the group. Rest off-course is your responsibility.I myself have freeloaded in few projects where a specialized skills of CAs/CFAs in my group came in handy to save us from a short deadline.But most free-riders/ free-loaders will do it as a habit.As an introvert, you will have a hard time managing other people’s participation in the group efforts.Unlike a group project, participation in case competitions is purely voluntary in nature where your only objective should be to win the case competition.Hence, it is imperative that each and every member of the group is contributing in some way or another.I felt that the maximum of amount of learning came to me through these group projects and case competitions only.Majorly because I felt like that I was working with some really smart people and also because that it was one of only few means to find practical applications for theoretical concepts.The best way for an introvert to make use of a group project is1) Ignore free riders- Well you cannot force anyone to work. Recognize free-riders early and save your time and efforts by not running after them.2) Delegate your job to others as far as possible. If somebody is not able to contribute through the main group tasks, give them easier tasks like editing and printing etc.Not that you can’t do the same, but you improve your own people skills by showing them that you value them for what they can do.3) There is a good chance that others in the group are smarter than you, and you being an introvert are not able to properly voice your opinions and share your ideas.Never let that happen. Let your ideas get tested at least once.Whether you are at IIM or any other corporate professional place, you will always feel that the world is not designed for introverts.And as true as this maybe, you can always train yourself to survive in an extrovert driven world.For an introvert, living an extrovert’s life may be very stressful and this might even kill them slowly.However, the same stress, if properly managed, can be utilized to grow and succeed as an individual.The most successful introverts are people who can pretend to be an extrovert when needed and then find sufficient personal time to recharge themselves as an introvert.It is this constant process of stressing and destressing yourself is what gives you true mental growth.Just like to get a great body, you push yourselves hard in the gym, lifting weights and then taking adequate rest to heal and grow your muscles, bigger and stronger.Similarly, you can put your mental muscles under strain by slowly adding difficult tasks in your daily rituals and then finding personal time to recover and grow.Most people in this world will see their natural conditions as obstacles to their successful lives.You create mental boundaries in your mind just like physical boundaries, thinking you cannot outgrow them.But, only when you rise up to challenges by slowly taking up tasks which needs you to grow out of your comfort zone, is actually when you expand those mental boundaries and grow so that your definition of ýou’ gets so big that you will be comfortable doing things which you have never done before.Statistically speaking, the most successful people in this world like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Lionel Messi, Christopher Nolan, Amir Khan etc. are deep introverts who constantly take new challenges and create something new which you have never seen before.The point is to not to run away from an extrovert dominated world, but to see these problems as opportunities to grow out of your normal comfort zone.As humans we have great capability to adapt ourselves to changing environments.Being an introvert it would take more time for you, but, in the end it will be all worth it.You don’t need confidence to do difficult things. Confidence is always an indirect outcome of any action and not the cause behind it.So, you first take the plunge, join a B- School, and start accepting the culture of the place as it is.Soon enough, you will be nailing things as they come to you.Complaining that life has not been fair to you won’t make things any easier.Reality for you will only change after you first change your own approach and mentality.Take proactive control of your life and not let just things happen to you.Finally, it’s either ‘you’ who runs your life or the life runs ‘you’. I hope you choose the former.As I come to end this one for you, I could remember a couplet from ‘Bandey’ song by ‘Local Train’,‘Sikandar hai wo jo jeeta hain yehan, phir bhi akela wo rehta hai yahin,Sab kuch hai tere paas, phir bhi tu kyun roye’
Tamilians should consider my suggestion that they should learn Hindi. What's your view on the above statement?
Straightforward Answer :Please clean up the mess of removing Urdu loan words from Hindustani Language and make it Shuddh Hindi. Then we are ready to consider learning Hindi.Let the CVs be accepted in Hindi by Employers. Then we will see.Let it be known that try and achieve making Hindi appear first in the list of classical languages to become eligible worth considering .Then try making 22 local state languages of India as official languages at the National Level. Let there be a level playing field to Nationalize every recognized language found on the Indian Rupee Note.Give a guarantee that Hindi usage will be responded and reciprocated by popularizing the local languages at the national level. Try to take up the challange in a sportsmanly manner.Lastly prove to the commoners that Hindi is easier and have fewer letters & words than our ‘Older than Sanskrit’ languages !!!! (which is next to impossible because Hindi has many loan words from Urdu. )So Clean Up Hindi by removing mixed hotch-potch Hindustani in the Hindi Belt Itself before even asking such status for Hindi.Ensure that what is learnt in Shuddh Hindi by southerners in the right Spirit is not mocked at while speaking but consider it as an extra effort towards creating awareness by giving weightage to heavily biased politics.Give some positive incentives on Standard Parameters unlike how Pakistan promoted Urdu(Younger Brother of Eastern Hindi) against the wishes of Punjabis, Sindhis and Balochis !!!
What are teenagers tired of hearing?
Different take from, by the looks of it, a slightly older teen (unless there's any other millennium babies here). Things in bold probably most important to read. Tl;dr at the end because there's a lot to digest.For me, I guess I was lucky. I was academically inclined, I was well liked by teachers although I didn't get on with classmates because I always felt they were immature and too bitchy for my liking. I wanted to be a vet, and as far as high school was concerned, I was well on track. Ended up with all A* and As.No one put this pressure on me, I put it on my self. I was lonely and depressed. I had a different group of friends nearly every year; probably due to the fact my parents split up and my dad moved in with his girlfriend 50 miles away. And I did the commute at least twice a week, every week for split custody. Meaning: I never really went out with them because I didn't want to be a nuisance.When it came to GCSEs, people left me to it. I just got on with my work and kept my head down. Even though it meant I was über stressed, had arguments with anyone and everyone and cried at the tiniest thing. No one was telling me to study harder, my life was just in such disarray that studying was the only thing I could control. Plus it meant I could get out of family arrangements.The only thing that would bug me is certain family members' attitude towards me. For some, I was the golden child, I could do no wrong. I was going to be one of the first to go to university in the family. They'd tell me how much money I'd make and how successful I'd be. And I believed them. And it spurred me on to run myself into the ground just to end up with the second best results in the whole year.I got my results and I was looking forward to going to college. A different college to the rest of my school. One where I could start over with new friends and, as it was city-based (rather than in the middle of nowhere like the sixth forms everyone else went to), I could have new experiences, I had to budget both my time and money. I was on the train for up to 2 hours a day depending which parent I was staying with and whether Northern trains decided to be crap that day or not - more often than not they were crap.But at college, doing my A Levels, something just wasn't clicking. Emotionally I was still all over the place. I understood the content but when it came to tests and application I just couldn't wrap my head around it. We had our first year exams and I did terribly. If I'd done worse I risked being kicked out and forced to repeat a year - most vet schools require you to get your 3 As or higher in a 2 year span.Your grades don't define you. I'm lucky my parents didn't mind what my grades were as long as I was happy. But I'd pushed myself that hard that I was miserable AND had shit grades. Don't be like me - your mental health is more important than your grades, even if you have to change your career aspirations and even if your parents are angry. You can't have a future if you're not here. Look after yourself.Over the summer, I did enough to work experience that I wouldn't have to do anymore during my 2nd year (work experience was a required part of passing your A Levels at my college for some reason). I worked on a farm for 10 weeks despite the 4 hour round trip to get there. I spent my free time looking over notes, focusing on problem areas. I was determined to go back fighting.And I did. In chemistry I went from a D to a B. My teacher was amazed… when she was actually in class teaching us. We had a substitute teacher who didn't know much about chemistry. We basically copied from textbooks and did questions. But my focus slipped.Meanwhile in Biology, I was working consistently at a B. I had improved from my first year - unfortunately my teacher was off ill for most of the year and we had no guidance. My work placement helped tremendously and I was also doing a research project (EPQ) on farming which helped keep me focused and manage my time - plus learn more about infectious diseases which helped my biology.Unfortunately (or fortunately), during this time I was also having a bit of a crisis. Did I want to be a vet? I have problems with my joints (specifically fibromyalgia and hypermobility) and the fatigue was getting worse. Did I really want to be doing this for the rest of my life? Especially when, on average, most females are only practicing veterinary surgeons for 8 years before they go into something else. I decided to take a year out so I could decide properly - plus if my grades went tits up I had time to decide on something else.At this time, my dad had been hounding me about getting a job for months.I was in my second year of college and my workload had increased - with the research project (which I got an A in tyvm) I was essentially doing 4 subjects.He didn't seem to realise that things weren't how they used to be. Most places don't accept paper CVs anymore unless they're small businesses. I must have sent off almost 200 online job applications. I even sent emails directly to store managers with my cover letter and CV. Nothing worked. Until I got a call back. The only one that did, mind you. It was 2 days a week (Sundays and Mondays) and it was only temporary over the xmas period, but I was something. I started in November 2017. Less than a month later I moved in with my mum full time. There was too much going on at my dad's and I couldn't cope. For once, I knew what I was doing - at least for the next few months. My head was straight but that environment wasn't healthy for me.I'm still there now. Almost 15 months later. And for any younger teens - I promise you the skills and friendships you'll form at work are worth it.Never thought I'd say that but it's true. I resented my dad for constantly being on at me about getting a job but it was the stability I needed in my life at that moment. It actually made me revise more effectively because I didn't have as much free time (although I had money which I could spend on whatever I wanted - mainly coffee and chocolate).I also had to fight like hell for my dad to agree to this gap year I'm currently on. He only agreed because I promised to work and study during that period.Ultimately it was the best decision. I'm no longer going to be a vet, but I'm going to university to study biology which I'm really excited about. My future isn't decided - I could go into microbiology or genetics or conservative science or find the cure for cancer. I'm optimistic.Your freedom and autonomy is important - don't spend time with people who make you feel small if you can help it.I love my family but some of them are dicks. Because I don't spend much time with them, my other cousins became the favourites. I'm okay with that because it takes the pressure off me. I had to be perfect for them and now I'm not. It's honestly so relieving.I was hoping this would be where the tl;dr would be but no such luck.Being slightly older, on a gap year, with a job and having to grow tf up changes you.I actually now see where some adults are coming from.They all act out of fear.They are scared something will happen to you if you go outside, then they read articles directly aimed at scared parents about how being inside all the time can harm you.They are scared of the unknown. Like phones and internet. Doesn’t stop them from using it though. Remember the year 1999? None of us do. But people were so scared about the millennium bug that was supposed to end the world. They blamed the internet and who knows what else.When I was 4 I got an MP4 player. When I was 7 I got an iPod touch (the first gen one). When I was 9 I got a Samsung flip phone because I started walking to my grandma's after school. I got my dad's old netbook when I went to highschool before upgrading to a proper laptop when I was 13 in preparation for my GCSEs.Basically the point I'm making is that when I was in primary school, the only thing we did on the computers was movie maker, some educational games and friv (anyone else remember Friv?). In high school, all we were taught is Microsoft programmes and, as an art student, Photoshop. We weren't taught programming or even scratch. We did basic animation on a programme I can't even remember the name of because we only had a few lessons on it when we were 12. Now you get 7 year olds making apps. And I'm not scared, I'm impressed and jealous.So if I agree with them so much why am I making this post?Because adults still really piss me off.Why are you wearing all black? Why don't you wear dresses and skirts? Because I feel most comfortable in trousers and black goes with everything.Why are you tired all the time? This one is extra fun because of disabilities.Why don't you spend time with us anymore? Because whenever I do, you find some way to criticise me or ignore me.Why can't you do this for yourself? You're technically an adult now. Because you're the parent and it's your job.Respect your elders. Respect is earned, not granted. If you don't respect me, I shan't respect you.Being older though, I can speak back to them. In particular, me and my mum have a mutual respect so great we treat each other more like equals. We share housework responsibilities, we air our grievances like adults (most of the time) and we aren't afraid of a bit of banter. I know not everyone is as lucky as me and some parents are overbearing narcissists but some of y'all are really going hard on the “all adults are horrible and all us teenagers are the best”.I hate to break it to you, but sometimes the adult really does know best. And sometimes they don't. Both is okay, just don't sass your adults for the sake of it. Make sure you have a strong argument before you try to argue it, otherwise you'll get torn apart.If you really want an adult to listen to you, act like one. Don't strop or sass or do that thing where you look at them like shit on your shoe. Get the facts, do a PowerPoint or essay if you have to. Hell, even a mindmap with pictures to help them understand.Take charge and explain things to them for the sake of your fellow teenagers.Explain statistics of anxiety and teenage suicide. Explain to them how the teenage brain works differently (I'll give you a hint, its melatonin). Explain to them that phones don't give out ionising radiation and can't give you cancer. Take pepper spray and a rape alarm out with you if they're worried (and if it's legal in your area).Unfortunately many of you are at the age where you're being treated both as an adult and a child. You're expected to be responsible but get molly coddled when you want to go out. You're being forced to essentially choose your future career but still get told off about traipsing mud through the house.I know it's scary and I know you want to be responsibility-free for as long as possible. But you can't have it both ways. Sit your parents down and have an honest discussion about what you want. You can discuss boundaries, expectations and whatnot while showing them that, hey maybe the kid is responsible enough to go out, or choose their own clothes, choose their hobby, their career, etc.Finally the tl;dr - adults are shit, but most teenagers aren't much better.Take a long, hard look at yourself. Recognise toxic behaviours. Recognise your strengths as well as areas you can work on. Be a good person, not just a good student. You'll get much more out of life that way. You are more than a statistic. You are more than your grades.Talk to your parents like they're actually people. Remind them they were young once, and their parents probably had the same fears and reservations as they now have. Remind them that mental health is a lot less taboo than it was, as is anything other than being straight, cis and white.It's our responsibility as the next generation to educate our parents on things they don't understand. I know it's a lot to take on, on top of your regular school work. But I promise you it's worth it - because once they understand, it's like a weight being lifted off. They get off your backs, they treat you with respect.Disclaimer: some parents are truly awful, rotten people and you shouldn't put yourself in danger. Please, please, please look after yourself and stay safe.