Charity Ball Survey: Fill & Download for Free

From a young age my biggest life goal was to get rich. My second biggest life goal was to find someone “perfect” and get married. I attacked each goal with zeal. However, Goal 1 interfered with Goal 2. When you’re on the road all the time seeking wealth you don’t have the time to do anything but make meaningless, short term sexual liaisons or fleeting romances with no holding power. I did get rich, for awhile, but at a great cost. I even met the “perfect” woman I should have married. But I didn’t marry her and that’s a regret. But the desire to find that perfect woman became the great white whale of my life and I pursued every possible avenue to the point of near-mental illness. In one 18 month period I dated almost 100 different women. I would ask out women in grocery stores, at parties, friends of friends. I didn’t care. At that point there was an emotional hunger that couldn’t seem to be filled. I would date and discard, date and discard. I joined every sporting gig imaginable, from co-ed volleyball to biking to running to hiking, I went to concerts and charity balls and did the museum tours, watched opera in a tuxedo or ballet; I went to musicals and Shakespeare on the Lawn; everywhere that women might hang out. I bumped into them on purpose and spilled their drinks so I had to buy them another - an excuse to talk.To that end I joined every matchmaking service you can think of from Lunchdates to Yahoo personals, Matchmaker, Match, OKC, PoF - over a dozen of them. Most of them are long out of business now. I even ran a dating organization for five years, a progressive dinner thing for people over forty. The only thing I didn’t do was meet women in bars. I don’t drink and picking up women in bars takes a certain kind of game I just don’t have.I had various goals; I could meet someone, or just have an interesting experience, or make a friend, or get laid, or actually meet the love of my life. After dating hundreds, perhaps thousands of women I decided there were four possible outcomes: You like her but she doesn’t like you (60 percent of the time); she likes you but you don’t like her (30 percent of the time); you both don’t like each other (9 percent of the time); or the Holy Grail, you both like each other: 1 percent of the time. So I decided that to meet that 1 person in a 100 I would have to date 100 women, minimum.I’ve had every possible experience you can think of, from women humiliating me over my looks to women fucking me in a public bathroom on a first date. I’ve seen so much. I could write books on it. I’ve been catfished; I’ve been stalked; I’ve been heartbroken. I’ve been conned by gold diggers. I’ve been trolled by religious nut bags. I’ve been sought by the desperate. I’ve been lied to. I have had many, many experiences.A couple of memorable experiences include heartbreak. Once I met a woman from some “Personals” service at a nice, candlelit restaurant. I don’t know how we ended up there since I usually like to go low-key on a first date in case it goes south fast. But this women, when she walked in, was beautiful. Petite, wearing a clean, pressed dress, with blonde hair and blue eyes she was the personification of innocence and beauty. By chance we got a corner table next to brick wall and a window. It was pouring outside and we were cozy. The wall blocked off the restaurant noise. We could have been the only people there. Our eyes locked, we chatted and laughed; we told stories; we held hands. Hours passed. They seemed like seconds. When the time finally ended there were tears in her eyes. “I never thought anything like this could happen,” she said, looking into my eyes. I was holding both her hands in mine, “I think you’re a really good man,” she said softly. We walked out in the rain to her car. She hugged me, in the rain, with her head on my chest. “I really want to see you again,” she said. On any other blind date I would have invited myself into her car and tried to make out. Not now. It would have ruined the moment. She handed me her business card from work with her phone and email on it. She wrote her phone number on the back. I put it in my pocket and watched her drive away. I thought, this is it. This is the One. My work has paid off. Rarely had I felt that way about a date. I went home and watched the clock until the next day when I could call her. I wasn’t playing the “three day rule” where a man waits three days to call. She was the one; I didn’t need to play games. I wanted it to be real. “You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person.”So the next day I called her. The number didn’t work. I emailed her. It bounced back. I called her on the office phone. She no longer worked there. It was a fraud. At the end of it all, it was some kind of fraud. I can’t figure out how or why it was a fraud. I couldn’t figure out what the con was or the gag or even the motive. Was it just for a free meal and drink? Was it just to hone acting skills? It all seemed so real. How could it have all been so fake? How could I have been so conned, so gullible? It was confusing and very disheartening. Of course, I never heard from her again. I attempted to track her down with no luck on the off chance that there was some mistake, that she was still looking for me. But she wasn’t looking for me. It was some kind of gag for her. That was pretty bad.I’ve also had bad blind dates, one I have discussed on Quora a few times where the women looked me up and down, threw 20 dollars on the table and said, with utter contempt, “This sure as hell isn’t happening,” and walked out. That was painful and humiliating. Even the waitress pitied me. Having the waitress see it was even more humiliating.I once met a woman through a Personals on Craigslist who was 20 years younger than I was. I have written about this on Quora also. She stalked me for years. Even after telling her to go away she emailed me multiple times a day, saying her pyschic told her we would always be together. Once, I came home from work and found a pair of wedding bands in my mail box. I had never told her where I lived. It took over five years to get rid of her. The scariest part is that she’s a Harvard-trained medical doctor.I met a woman at Cafe Vittoria who was filling out a survey as we talked. After thirty minutes of drilling me with questions, she stood up and said, “You failed” and walked out. She left me with the bill.I met a woman I talked with for weeks online who told me she loved the same things as I did, biking, running, hiking, adventure. When I met her at the bar of her choice, it turned out to be the scariest, most disgusting dive in a bad part of town. And she weighed well over 300 pounds. She was a liar. I excused myself to the bathroom and escaped through a kitchen exit. I was aided by a stranger who saw the whole thing and told me to “Run”.Another time I was standing in the door of Cafe Vittoria waiting for my date as crowds of people strolled back and forth. I picked her out of the crowd and even as she walked towards me I said, “She wants to fuck.” and within an hour we were rolling around in the back seat of my car. I don’t know how I knew just from looking at her walking towards me, but I did. It was easy. I was amazed.Once I went on a hike with blind date up in the Blue Hills. I’ve also written about this on Quora. Halfway up I got the “runs”. I had to dash off deep into the woods to relieve myself and use my underwear as TP. Shaking in the legs, I returned to her. She was beautiful but looked annoyed. I was away a long time. I probably no longer smelled “spring fresh”. In any case, she was long gone after that, never to return.On a trip to the same place, I hiked up Blue Hills to the fire tower on top where this girl, whom I had never met, dropped her jeans in the top and ordered me to “Do it” from behind while she looked at the scenery. Hikers milled around the bottom of the tower and could have come up anytime. She liked the risk. We did this a couple of other times but she disappeared.Once on Quora a man wrote a story of a fellow who spent his whole life seeking the perfect woman. On his deathbed he was asked why he never found her. “Ah,” he said, smiling feebly, “But I did find her. She wouldn’t have me. She was looking for the perfect man.” So much wisdom in that short story. There is no “perfect”. When it comes to dating, the “best” is the enemy of the “good”. If you’re always looking for greener grass you’ll never find it. You have to know when what you have is “good enough” for you. It’s not settling. It’s knowing that there are no perfect people or situations and that everyone is unique and has a story. You can learn something good and even important from everyone you meet, even the 300 pound woman in a dive bar in Quincy. We are all people. We all deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. We all deserve honesty, even if that honesty is painful, rather than cowardly ghosting or abandonment. Everyone has an ego; everyone can be hurt. It’s easy to get a date; it’s hard to make the date stick. The adage of the movie, “Next Stop Wonderland” is true: “The magic isn’t in what gets you together. The magic is in what keeps you together.” Perhaps there’s still hope for an aging bachelor then..

A recent survey has found that India’s rich are stingy. India ranked 106th in a survey of 145 countries and last among the eight countries included from South Asia, according to the World Giving Index, a study based on surveys carried out by Gallup.India is poor but so is Mynamar, which ranked the highest in the world for generosity. The US is second, New Zealand third, Canada fourth and Australia fifth. The next five most generous countries are the UK, Netherlands, Sri Lanka, Ireland and Malaysia.The ranking sits badly with the fact that a record 90 Indians with a combined net worth of $295 billion (Dh1.08tn) featured in the 2015 Forbes Billionaires List.The miserliness of India’s wealthy when it comes to charitable donations is nothing new. A report by consultancy Bain & Co in 2011 found that Indians with high net wealth gave an average of 3.1 per cent of their income to charity – about a third of what wealthy Americans give away each year.It is no surprise that India’s richest man, Mukesh Ambani, has not signed The Giving Pledge, launched in 2010 by Warren Buffett and Bill and Melinda Gates to encourage billionaires to donate at least half of their wealth to charitable causes. As of August 2015, 137 billionaires had signed up.Only one Indian, Wipro’s Azim Premji, has signed up. Mr Premji said: "I strongly believe that those of us who are privileged to have wealth should contribute significantly to try to create a better world for the millions who are far less privileged."These words are rarely heard coming out of the mouths of a rich Indian, honourable exceptions such as investor Rakesh Jhunjhunwala notwithstanding. He is known as "India’s Warren Buffett" and he has pledged to give 25 per cent of his fortune to charity in his lifetime.The reasons why rich Indians are so tight-fisted vary, but they can probably be put into three broad categories.One is that the majority of Indians are Hindu and Hinduism is not a congregational religion where people come together to worship. Prayer is an individual affair, either at home or in a small temple that you visit alone. There is no opportunity for Hindu religious leaders to address a congregation and instil in them the awareness of the need to give to the poor.Secondly, much of this wealth (though by no means all), is first-generation wealth. Having only recently made their money and having only emerged from proximity to poverty, business families still feel insecure. One wrong step or a stroke of bad fortune and their wealth could disappear, they fear. In a country that is, for much of the world, synonymous with poverty, a primordial fear of falling into poverty is widespread among those who are not poor. By contrast, many families in the West have been wealthy for generations and that helps the younger progeny to feel secure about giving money away.Thirdly, the sheer immensity of India’s poverty can deter even the most well-meaning. The unending landscape of millions and millions living in hovels with two sets of clothes, no money in the bank, no money for medical treatment, stunted physiques and terrible diets can make you feel it’s hopeless. What good can one donation do when the scale of the problem is beyond comprehension?Nonetheless, many rich Indians could easily do much more but they are selfish and care only for their own. This is a flaw in society. Your family is important but not your fellow Indians. Your concern extends only to you and yours.This explains why Mr Ambani could build his 27-storey home at a cost of $1 billion in Mumbai without realising the insensitivity of such a palace in a city where 60 per cent of the residents live in slums. The desire to help strangers or those not related to you is weak.It’s also a fact that many affluent Indians like to give only when it is going to be publicly acknowledged – in the papers, in photographs, by public gratitude. They love being praised while simulating embarrassment.While defending actor Salman Khan in a hit-and-run case this year, his lawyer spoke in great detail about the star’s donations to charity. Few are like Shah Rukh Khan, the King of Bollywood, who gives handsomely but never talks about it.As the survey shows, the culture of philanthropy has yet to take root in India. It will be some time before you stop hearing about weddings that cost as much as sending a mission to Mars and hear instead about charity balls or fund-raising dinners that raised huge amounts.

Kate Middleton is very vocal about children. Certainly, Catherine is more of an introvert, but she is clearly passionate about certain things, one being children, along with photography, drawing (Catherine is seriously talented and so few people know this about her), and being athletic. We see how Catherine’s eyes light up when she is around her children, and she adores babies.The Duchess of Cambridge can be walking about, meeting and greeting crowds and she’ll alight on a mom with a baby, and Catherine’s whole countenance changes! She is suddenly chatting away animatedly, asking about the baby, and Catherine did admit to feeling “broody” and wanted a fourth child of her own. It was Prince William who said three was plenty for him, and since he came from a family of two it must seem to be rather chaotic having a third child.Catherine enjoys her children at all ages, and next year I wonder if she’ll decide to keep Prince George at home rather than sending him on to boarding school. Catherine and William couldn’t be blamed for wanting to enjoy having George home for a few more years before sending him to Eton (presumably). The Duchess of Cambridge enjoys speaking about parenting and how to help children. Her podcast on “Happy Mum, Happy Baby” was a hit, and her work with organizations aimed at providing social, emotional and psychological platforms for even the very youngest children is an area where Catherine is vocal.Remember the Five Big Questions survey the Duchess organized within the UK? This was a landmark survey and the first of its kind, which asked the public for their views on early childhood, and the response was extraordinary. The findings of that survey are being used to implement strategies to ensure small children (under age five) do not suffer from neglect or lack of resources, and any mental health issues should be dealt with as quickly as possible to help the child succeed.I thought Catherine’s survey was a big deal, and the day she announced the results of the study was a culmination of ten years of hard work behind the scenes. The Duchess takes her work seriously, and it took people including the royal family, several years to notice how detail driven and committed she is to working with her royal patronages and her charities. Catherine will always speak up about children.And after working with Prince William and Harry on supporting good mental health through their once joined Royal Foundation on Heads Together, Catherine was vocal about the need for better mental health help. All three worked together to stop the stigma of suffering with mental health issues, and this still seems to be another area where Catherine is vocal. She understood how William and Harry, even within the luxury of their royal upbringing still felt depressed or anxious over their mother’s early death.Catherine is becoming more vocal as she becomes more confident as a working royal, and I think she’s also in support of people and definitely children having access to sports. She enjoyed being on teams at school, and Catherine talks about the need for children to be outdoors and enjoying hiking, swimming, tennis or just kicking a soccer ball around. Catherine believes children benefit from exercise, so she’s vocal about this too.The Duchess of Cambridge chooses what she wants to say and her words are worth so much, precisely because Catherine doesn’t want needless attention. Catherine is vocal, but I think her work and her voice are mainly covered in the UK, which is a shame since her work with children could benefit those in other countries too. I’m looking forward to hearing more podcasts by Catherine, and it will be exciting to see how her work with children grows as her own kids grow up.