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I got arrested twice for hugging another dude in Vermont.Switching to anonymous because the past should stay in the past (all legal issues were expunged). A bit of information to help paint the picture: besides situations described below, I’ve never had any legal issues in my life. I’m an upstanding individual who never so much as drank all the way through high school.During my sophomore year of college in Vermont I was attending a good buddy’s birthday party in his girlfriend’s dorm room. His girlfriend had two roommates, both of whom joined in on the festivities of drinking copious amounts of alcohol, playing games, and being silly.Toward the end of the night, I went over to my buddy - who was seated in a chair facing away from me - and I began giving him a big bear hug while saying “Happy Birthday!” Due to both of us having consumed too much alcohol, he thought I was trying to choke him, he turned around, and he punched me in the face. Hard. IE:An executive decision was made to conclude the party, to which we parted ways. I later found out that things went awry in the eyes of the law when one of the roommates got emotional and sat in the hallway sobbing until the RA was alerted and investigated.The cops were called. They showed up. I got arrested. Charged with simple assault (a criminal charge) for hugging my friend (another guy) in Vermont (arguably one of the gayest states in the nation). The next morning I woke up in detox because the jail was overcrowded that night and they thought it a happy-medium between waking up in a hospital and waking up in a jail. In a daze, I jerked awake to find myself in a strange bed (which it appeared I had urinated in), and a strange man in another bed, awake and watching me. He, a seasoned pro, explained where I was and that I’d spilled the water that was given to me. He was also laughing at my reaction to the whole ordeal, but told me that all I had to do to leave was blow a .08 BAC or below.The legal ramifications of this were all expunged following court and restorative justice, but the fun doesn’t stop here.A year or two later I was driving to my hometown on a Friday night with my new girlfriend who had planned to meet her new boyfriend’s family for the first time. I got pulled over for speeding and after what seemed like a really long license/registration verification, not one but two state troopers approached my vehicle; one of each side of the car.This seemingly routine traffic stop turned into me getting pulled from the car, arrested, and taken to the nearest state jail with no explanation besides having a warrant out for my arrest. I had zero idea what was going on and questioned the validity or the warrant. Honestly the trooper felt bad and radioed in three times to make absolute sure they had the right person in custody. Turned out they had the right person.Going against the recommendations of the jailor and cellmates, I asked to be released on bail upon contact with a judge in the proper jurisdiction. The judge agreed, set bail, and gave contact information for the requestor of the warrant. All I needed was to post bail for release.Fortunately my girlfriend managed to find an ATM, contact the jail and find out/obtain the bail amount, and get to the jail before midnight (with no access to GPS navigation). I mentioned midnight because as of midnight Saturday morning, nobody gets released until Monday morning. While my girlfriend was in the jail trying to make the bail payment, due to the process of intake at this facility, she was placed in a cell “for her protection” of an inbound junky who was losing his shit.Following the resistant booking of said junky, my girlfriend was taken out of her cell (haha, I can’t believe she didn’t break it off at this point) to finish what she was there for, just after midnight. Too bad, so sad. In order to be released I had to officially demand to re-contact the judge, further pissing him off, to allow my release. They got the go-ahead about an hour later and I was free to go.I started making phone calls Monday morning, before court, and finally started putting pieces together. After all was said and done what ended up happening was the following:The original officer who placed me under arrest for hugging my friend neglected to give me a civil citation for underage drinking.He mailed the citation to an address that he obtained through an unknown source.It turns out the address it was mailed to is a gas station.The gas station never paid my fine.A court order was also sent to the gas station.I (and the gas station) never showed up to court.A court-ordered arrest warrant was issued.Looking back on this, I’m pretty impressed that I was able to map out this much in the few hours I had before court. Needless to say, I went to court to be heard, with no lawyer. A public defender came to my rescue as I walked in she said, “you look lost.” I was, very much so. I gave her all the details I had and she attempted to get a resolution before court even started. Time ran out and I had to sit through an entire murder trial to make my case. I never was sure if this stood to hurt or help my case, following a murder trial.The judge took what seemed like an eternity to rule on my case, in my favor. It turns out officers mailing citations is strictly against the law. Since this was a civil violation that resulted in a state warrant, both the city and district attorneys were present. He warned the city attorney about the potential for a lawsuit to come out of this. It also turns out there were records not fully expunged by the courts after the restorative justice process, so the district attorney was warned as well. He guaranteed that all records - all the way back, both criminal and civil - would be expunged, the original fine would be waived, and bail would be refunded.And that’s the most bizarre incident(s) that happened to me during college.Update: I had and have nothing against my buddy for what happened. Nature took over, he was in fight or flight mode. In Vermont, if the cops get called to any type of 1:1 assault they’re legally required to take 1, it just turned out to be me because I had initiated the conflict; if it weren’t me, it would have been him. He worked with me through the restorative justice program, and I would have done the same if they took him away that night.I didn’t file suit against the police department as it would have been rather frivolous, and with the exception of the attitude and demeanor of the jailor, everyone I dealt with throughout the process was incredibly kind. Even the trooper who felt bad arresting me advocated for me, along with letting me sit in the front seat on the way to the jail. Both attorneys being yelled at - I felt, and feel - was restitution enough. Sure it caused some embarrassment, but I didn’t lose any friends over it, I don’t have a criminal record, I can still check off the “No” response to “Have you ever been arrested?” question on applications. All in all, the entire situation could have been much worse.

Many young people enter marriage not understanding much about human nature, and without much experience with people who are much different from the family they grew up in.If you grow up in a household with parents who speak softly to each other and behave rationally, when you witness your spouse become angry and punch holes in walls, it's really shocking. It's not normal to you, and for myself, I know I believed that once he calmed down he would start behaving normally.What took me some time to realize was that what was normal to me was not the same thing that he considered normal.So, initially you might overlook the seriousness of the abuse. Abusers are also skilled at convincing their victims that the abuse is their fault.You made me lose my temper.I only lose control and hit you, because I love you so much!Married couples are financially entangled. Abusers can control the money, and communication and transportation, and they can use your children as pawns to get their way. They don't play fair, or think like normal people do.It's usually easier to enter into a relationship than it is to exit one. We learn as we travel through life.I must add that when I married my abusive ex, spousal abuse was not a crime.Laws prohibiting domestic violence are fairly recent in a historical sense, most being enacted during the 1980’s.So, be grateful that current laws recognize domestic violence as a crime, and that you live in an enlightened age where women have rights and are not considered to be property owned by men.Overview of Historical Laws that Supported Domestic ViolenceIn 1910, the U. S. Supreme Court ruled that a wife had no cause for action on an assault and battery charge against her husband because it "would open the doors of the courts to accusations of all sorts of one spouse against the other and bring into public notice complaints for assault, slander and libel."As recently as 1977, the California Penal Code stated that wives charging husbands with criminal assault and battery must suffer more injuries than commonly needed for charges of battery.Today, women have the ability to obtain protection orders through the court. However, in almost half of our states, the police are not empowered to enforce these orders, nor is there any penalty for the men who violate them.In Vermont, violation of a protection order became a crime with the passage of a law to that effect in 1990. Police officers are authorized to enforce orders, and the law outlines penalties for violations.

For what purpose?Massachusetts has had a license and registration program in place of one kind or another since the 1930’s. A person can not so much as touch a gun in this state unless you have a license or are under the direct supervision of an instructor. (That license also requires that you take an approved safety class)Registration of handguns at first, and then long guns starting in the 1970’s have been maintained by the state. Today, such transfers are all recorded using a computer where the license information of the two parties are entered as well as the information on the firearm.Is that the kind of system you would like?Again I ask, for what purpose?For as long as I can remember, various organizations and individuals have made requests of the State Police, Attorney General’s office, and the records board requesting a list of all cases where the registration and license data was used to assist in solving the crime. To date, the state continues to respond to these requests with “No Records Found”. In other words, nearly a century of license and registration has not resulted in a single case being solved that would not have been without the programs.Massachusetts is a state with about 7 million residents. In recent years, the annual budget to maintain and operate the gun license and registration programs was roughly $6 million. In the 1980’s, bankers boxes of the old blue card registration forms were disposed of when they found rodents nesting in them. Glad to see this vital data was well protected. Even today, the accuracy of the records data is mostly unknown.In the year 2000, a criminal opened fire at the Edgewater Office Park killing 7 people. At the time it was referred to as a Workplace Shooting. Today it would be called a Mass Shooting. After the event, two very interesting pieces of information came to light. One, the criminal had an expired Massachusetts license. The license had been expired about 2 years at the time of the shooting. Two, every gun the criminal used was in the state’s registry as being owned by the criminal.So, not only did the state know that this person had guns, they also knew that he had them illegally because of the expired license. And yet, nothing was done.Why?The answer has to do with the state’s laws and resources. In 1998, the state passed a sweeping bill that changed a lot of the gun laws. One of the things that happened was the expiration dates on many licenses was changed. Oh, there was lots of notice in the newspapers and other media, but after the fact the number of valid licenses was nearly 1 million less than what the state had on record prior to the change in law. It is figured that some of them were dead or moved out of state, but certainly many simply didn’t see or understand the change in the law.Faced with nearly a million people that could be potential felons by having a gun and no license, the state did the only thing it could. NOTHING.You see, the vast majority of people don’t commit crimes. Of the people who take the trouble to get a license, far far fewer commit crimes. It simply isn’t a justified use of tax dollars to track down all the people who statistically don’t commit crimes on what is nothing more than a paper violation. When police departments rarely do more than take a report for many crimes, sending resources out to knock on doors just isn’t in the budget.To this day, I still get calls from people who are cleaning out after a family member has passed and they find a gun. It isn’t quite once a month anymore, but certainly 8–10 times a year. Many of those are referred by my police chief. By law, he could confiscate the gun and arrest the person for having a gun without being licensed. Instead, I get called, I can hold onto the gun(s) while we work to get the new owner properly licensed so that they can then legally keep or sell it.But I digress…..Once again, I ask - For what purpose would this registration be used?If it costs $6 million to manage the guns of a state with 7 million residents and there are 328 million people in the United States, are you ready to devote nearly $300 million every year in an attempt to register the guns of people who statistically don’t commit crimes? Especially when the examples that exist have virtually nothing to show from it.Canada tried this. In the beginning they estimated a $2 million budget. After about 15 years and over $1 billion spent, the accuracy of the registry was estimated at under 50%. The program was ended.And that does not even take into account the fact that any new registration program is illegal.No such rule or regulation prescribed after the date of the enactment of the Firearms Owners' Protection Act may require that records required to be maintained under this chapter or any portion of the contents of such records, be recorded at or transferred to a facility owned, managed, or controlled by the United States or any State or any political subdivision thereof, nor that any system of registration of firearms, firearms owners, or firearms transactions or dispositions be established (18 USC § 926(a)).The reason that certain states still maintain a registry is that they were in place before the federal law was enacted. Why these states (mostly run by Democrats) insist on wasting tax dollars on a program that has not shown any benefit is a worthy question.And now for the final reveal.I give you the 1968 Supreme Court case of Haynes vs. US. In a nutshell, the court declared that requiring a Prohibited Person to register their firearm is a violation of their 5th Amendment right against self incrimination. In other words, by law, criminals are not obligated to register their guns.But seriously, why do you want such a thing?(A commenter in another answer noted that Massachusetts has one of the lowest gun death rates in the country. This is true. However, it would be a false leap to give the reason for that to the gun laws. The unique thing about Massachusetts is that we have a significantly lower rate of the use of firearms in suicide. Since suicide makes up roughly 2/3 of all gun related fatalities, a significant drop in that criteria results in a significant drop in “gun deaths”. However, if you look at the overall violent crime statistics, Massachusetts is one of the most violent states in the northeast with bordering states of Vermont and New Hampshire being much lower and virtually no gun laws. Be very careful of how statistics are presented. People with an agenda often use numbers that seem to support their claims but rarely are the details provided.The fact of the matter is that since the major rework of the laws in 1998, violent crime rates in the state have increased dramatically. The total reasons are complex, but a significant part of this is due to fewer people with the means to defend against violent crimes such as rape, home invasions, and armed robbery.Poor people can not afford $500 safety courses or $100 license fees. Chiefs in urban areas make the process difficult with limited hours, appointments that are canceled last minute, and requiring things not in the law like doctor’s notes, shooting tests, proof of employment, and more. All the more proof that when you license a thing, you control a thing. It is no longer a right, but a privilege.The devil, as always, is in the details.)