Dear Parents And Friends, Welcome To Term 2: Fill & Download for Free

When I married my first husband, we didn’t have much money so all of our preparations were strictly budgeted. My parents were on a fixed income so they couldn’t help either….or at least, that’s what I was told.We had a small affair, we had been living together for a year and a half and I was about 4 months pregnant so we kept things very intimate. My dear friend and her husband were in a band so they offered to gift us their services for the night. My grandmother and I made all of the food in advance so it just needed to stay either refrigerated or needing heating just before the reception and since the town hall had a kitchen, that part went smoothly. We purchased what we could afford for drinks and told everyone if they wanted something different, they were welcome to bring their own.The ceremony was actually held at the JP’s office a few weeks before with just immediate family but we wanted to celebrate with extended family and friends so we splurged on the reception. We had to pay for everything so it was very informal, my friend and I had even written the invitations. She had been teaching my calligraphy for months before so they turned out beautiful. For several months, my mother kept telling me how broke they were so they couldn’t help at all and I told her it was ok, I understood. My father did offer to pay for the beer and booze behind her back though because he felt I was being cheated. So the day of the reception comes and only 30 people show up. I have 5 sisters, all attached in one way or another so they were the bulk of our guests. I was so disappointed and hurt that no one could show up for us and most of those invited, actually lived in the same town! AND they were mostly relatives!The next day I put my hurt aside and since we had so much food and drink left, we decided to invite neighbors and friends to my parents house for a party. Well the WHOLE neighborhood showed up for THAT, including the relatives who couldn’t attend our “paid” event. I had gotten 2 gifts and a few cards at our reception so we just waited to open them the next day. The gifts had been from 2 of my sisters. One was a $20 coffee maker the other was kitchen towels. The cards were from aunts and uncles who put in what they could. I think all told we spent $400 on the reception/party and received about $150 in monetary gifts but were happy for it because we were married and that was what the day was about anyway.So, while I’m wallowing in misery because my own family didn’t count me as important enough to even come to a party where there was free food and drinks, but COULD show up the next day without obligation to partake in the same food and drink, MY MOTHER decides it a GREAT time to show my new in laws all of the things she purchased in advance for my sister who decided to get married just months after me! She brought these things out to the tables we had set up in the yard and was showing them off!When my father saw what she had done, he was furious! He didn’t insist that she take it all back, because it was for another of his daughters, but he told her in no uncertain terms that she was not to spend another dime since they would not be able to pay the next month’s bills! She then told him that she had opened a credit card just for the occasion and that since he had paid for the drinks for my reception, that she was allowed to do something for my sister as well!I later found out she had also purchased my sister’s wedding dress, paid for the hall, the flowers and all of the wedding favors. I knew she didn’t like me but this was so hurtful and blatantly obvious of her dislike for me that I didn’t speak to her, not even when we were in the same room, for months! When my sister got married, I attended for her but was still resentful. The next day she was opening gifts from our other sisters and I found they not only gave her expensive gifts but cards with cash! Well that was the last straw for me. When they all got married for the first time or 2nd marriages, I didn’t even attend. I refused to even get them the cheap coffee makers they pawned off on me (I found out later that the coffee maker was a Christmas gift to one sister who didn’t want it so she “re-gifted” it to me).When I remarried 25 yrs later, we decided to make it all about “us” and went to Vegas to be married and have our honeymoon all in the same trip. I didn’t invite any of my family, except for my brother who was only 10 when I got married the first time. I knew they wouldn’t show up anyway so I saved myself the heartache. We had a fabulous time! My brother brought his new girlfriend and informed me “first” that she was “the one”! They were planning to be married but were keeping it secret since they didn’t want a “fuss” made about it. I felt so honored by my brother that day that we loaned them the cheesy “bride” and “groom” hats we had purchased to wear around the next day and took pictures of them wearing the hats. I knew that none of my sisters would believe that my brother would tell me anything first so we sent them the pictures as a “joke” and I was right, they didn’t believe it. They did 6 months later though, when my brother told them all he had gotten married by a JP!He had gotten revenge for me. He and I had not been close growing up. We were 10 years apart in age so we didn’t have a whole lot in common for a long time. But, he never forgot my pain during my first wedding and told me he secretly hated mom for the longest time because of it, even though he and the sister whose wedding was right after mine, were her favorites. Mom died before she got to see her only precious baby boy get married but I think he might not have even told her about it if she had been alive, that is until it was over.

Dear friends, selection of optional is always a difficult decision. It is better with the revised exams. I would need more details about you in order to give a definite answer.Earlier you had to choose two subjects as optional out of a long list of allowed subjects.Now a days you are luckier. You do not need to choose an optional for the 1st stage called preliminary exams. For the mains you have to choose only one subject. In a way now you have to prepare for the 4 general studies papers, an essay and 2 papers in a subject of your choice.Choice of subject is left to you. I advise choosing a subject which interests you. Go for the one which you are passionate about. Still these are rigorous academic fields and you will find topics within a choosen subject which may not interest you. You have to slog out and develop the taste for the drier topics too.It is suggested by the successful aspirants that the engineers should opt for either geography or public administration. Both these subjects help you in the General studies papers. You can read in details about the relative merits in my blog Optional Subject IAS Mains.My advice. Start preparing for the general studies mains papers esp. the topics which belong to the 2 of the optional subjects. Go in depth. You have no choice but to prepare for the GS papers. During this exercise of 2-4 months you will discover your interest. Once you discover it you may finally decide.IAS exams demand a long term commitment. So be sure that this is what you are seeking. Be very clear. Read my blogs and what others have written on this subject. Discuss with your friends and parents.To sum up I am inspired by Bhagavad Gita I and quote shloka for eternal happiness and freedom from suffering which comes from our own intellect. Do read carefully, I hope you will realise your true self which so far is shrouded in self doubt and ignorance of its potential.यत्तदग्रे विषमिव परिणामेऽमृतोपमम्।तत्सुखं सात्त्विकं प्रोक्तमात्मबुद्धिप्रसादजम्।।18.37।।My translation which appears to be painful in the beginning but is like amrit in the end that happiness is the true and permanent and it is a result of the efforts of the intellect of the self.Key words are Satvik sukha. Sukha means joy, pleasure, happiness, prosperity opposite of dukha( pain, suffering) . Saatvik meaning true, real, opposite to unreal, eternal.English translation by Dr. S Sankaranarayan18.37. The happiness which is like poison at its time but is like nectar at the time of its result-that happiness, born of serenity of the Soul and intellect, you must know to be of the Sattva (Strand).English translation by Swami Adidevananda (on Sri Ramanuja's Sanskrit Commentary)18.37 That pleasure, which 'at the beginning,' i.e., at the time of beginning of Yoga, is 'like poison,' i.e., is painful because it requires strenuous efforts and because the distinct nature of the self is not yet experienced, but which after long practice fructifies in the blissful experience of the self --- that joy born of a serene state of mind 'focusing on the self' is Sattvika. The Buddhi concerning the self is 'Atama-buddhi.' When all objects are withdrawn from that Buddhi it becomes serene (Prasanna). The joy born of the experience of the self in its distinct nature, when all objects are withdrawn from the Buddhi, becomes 'like elixir'. That joy is said to be Sattvika.Hindi commentary by Swami Chinmayananda"जो प्रथम विष के समान है" - यहाँ ध्यान देने योग्य बात यह है कि वास्तव में सात्त्विक सुख कभी विष के समान नहीं होता है, परन्तु मनुष्य की स्वाभाविक प्रवृत्ति बहिर्मुखी होने के कारण उसे ज्ञान, वैराग्य, ध्यान आदि सात्त्विक सुख के साधनों का अभ्यास करने में कठिनाई अनुभव होती है। इसलिए ऐसे "दुर्बल" व्यक्ति को यह सात्त्विक सुख प्रारम्भ में विष के समान दु:खदायी प्रतीत होता है, किन्तु यह वास्तविकता नहीं है। उदाहरणार्थ बालकों को खेल-कूद में आसक्ति होने के कारण पाठशाला का अध्ययन दु:खदायी प्रतीत होता है।"परिणाम में अमृत के समान है" - परिणाम में अर्थात् जब ज्ञान, वैराग्य आदि साधनाभ्यास में परिपक्वता आने पर वास्तविक मन:शान्ति का अनुभव होता है तब वह अमृत के समान आनन्दायक होता है। यह "सुख" सात्त्विक कहा गया है।"आत्म बुद्धि के प्रसाद से उत्पन्न" - प्राय: लोग प्रसाद का अर्थ कर्मकाण्डीय पूजा की सम्पन्नता होने पर वितरित किया जाने वाला "भोज्य प्रसाद" ही समझते हैं। परन्तु यहाँ प्रसाद का अर्थ व्यापक और गम्भीर है।आत्मानुसंधान के द्वारा आत्मस्वरूप में समाहित बुद्धि "आत्म- बुद्धि" कहलाती है। उस बुद्धि के प्रसाद का अर्थ है, प्रसन्नता, निर्मलता। बुद्धि के शान्त, शुद्ध और स्थिर होने पर, जो सुख की अनुभूति होती है, वही "आत्मबुद्धि प्रसादज" सात्त्विक सुख है। ऐसा सर्वश्रेष्ठ सुख केवल सुशिक्षित, सुसंस्कृत और सात्त्विक पुरुषों को ही प्राप्त होता है ।।18.37।।For IAS aspirants I suggest that you read the following posts/blogs:Steps towards IASLearning Resources for the IAS Exams.How does life feel in the IAS Academy, Mussorie?For IAS aspirantsIAS Preliminary ExamsChoosing a CareerJoin me on FB and welcome to my FB grouphttps://www.facebook.com/groups/1495351324033520/1495776023991050/?comment_id=1495777737324212&ref=notif&notif_t=likeWith best wishes and good luck, feel free to ask me further questions by pm just state the no of credits you have already paid.your friend

Yes I do, Dear readers this is my first answer on Quora, I want write my heart out and want to share how excess of even positive feelings can affect you completely. I will share my love story here because “I too had a love story”.I am 23 and she is 22, we both are based in Delhi/NCR. Let’s name my girlfriend “Priya”. We passed out from same school, I was a senior never had a talk with her in school, but we had few mutual friends on Facebook and were friends there. I was the head boy in school, so, in my first year of college when students were giving their 12th exams, I wished all the juniors “all the best” for their exams.A message pinged and we started talking. Facebook chats converted to whatsapp chats and then late night phone calls. We discovered one common thing in both of us, we both were recently hurt by un loyal partners and both were going through a difficult phase. After almost 6 months of great bond, finally on 29th August 2015 we both got committed.Me and her, were both from well reputed families and we both were very loyal, sweet and caring for each other. Also, there was no SHONA, MONA, CHEENU, MEENU, over cheesy stuff. It was a very practical and happy relationship.In September 2016, I had completed my graduation and went for my masters (1 year course) to UK. We both were worried, since, we both heard that how difficult it is to remain in a long term relationship where there is also difference in time. However, we both were confident that we will succeed this one year and when I come back to India we will be more closer.We both were and are 100% loyal to each other, however, I don’t know what crossed my stupid mind. I started talking to a girl there, we talked for just 7 days, I would say I got attracted, but never got physical in any sense. It was a healthy flirting. However, It was April 2017 by this time, I came home for 1 month in the summer break. I knew, I did something wrong, but I was 100% loyal to my girlfriend so did not remove that chat. I thought if she reads it, I will apologise and make her believe and apologise and say nothing has happened. Trust me !I got caught, for obvious reasons. She behaved like a wife, instead of getting angry, she cried and said I know you are a good guy but this was not expected. That day, I realised, I can see my wife in her and now I will give my 100% to this relationship. Trust me till date, I am 100% into only her and respect her like my family.Fast forward almost a year, I came back and my masters is over by now, its been almost 6 months since I am back in India and things are next to perfect. I am a sincere guy, who wants to become a self made entrepreneur and successful in my life for my family and my wife.But since past 6 months, she changed completely and drastically. Every couple has fights, so did we. However, in April 2018, she suddenly said I want to break up, my decision is firm and I am sure about it. For 1 week, I said nothing, I thought she will realise and come back that she was wrong for breaking up such a precious relationship. When she did not, I went to her and apologised but seems like, some body did black magic on her since that day till now (I am a practical guy, I do not believe in all this). I went and apologised, this happened 4–5 times in a period of 2–3 months. Even a small fight meant break up and she wont realise her mistakes, I would have gone and apologised even when she was wrong.After 2 months of continuous fights, She finally blocked me everywhere. However, since I was in bling love with her, I wrote 100’s of emails, messages, called her like 100 times a day; but all my efforts went in vein. Since, all my communication sources were blocked I had to forcefully approach her family and friends. I was never focussed on telling them Priya’s mistake. I would always say only I was wrong, but one thing, which is good about me is that I respect 2.5 years of relationship and I request you to help me. All her friends were double sided people, they gave me false hopes and did back bitching and destroyed the relationship even more. There was one person who could see true love in my eyes, that person was her mom. She even introduced me to the family, and I went to her home, met her father and again said the same thing, I am ready to understand my mistakes, but please let her not break the relationship.True fact was, I was becoming ready to apologise, but i did not knew for what I have to apologise, because there not any big issue. I looked in to her parents eyes and told them that I will keep their daughter happy. It seemed they trusted my love, that was the first time, I felt my love won.But Priya’s attitude towards me did not change at all. She was all around a new person. She would chose anything over me, whether it was her career, university. If anything bad will happen, break up will happen. Almost, 4–5 months without her, I was in a complete depression. To worsen my condition, I also got down with Chicken Pox, it was the most depressing phase of my life. Already, I was coping very hard with things and now a new disease which is making me more weak. I literally used to beg Priya to meet me, see me, but she never did anything.After my chicken pox, I also left all my hopes. One day, recently, in mid July 2018, she calls me and says, I have realised I changed and I regret, give me any punishment, I am the same person again, give me one chance. I gave her a chance. But she could not sustain the relationship for even a month.Currently, she told me she was behaving strangely because of her personal family issue and that her parents are getting separated, she wants to stay away from me, because now her mom individually would not be able to spend any money on the marriage. I wanted to be the best person for her, who can support her, in her hard times. I made a gentle men commitment, that I will be there for you and will support you and your family in the best way I can. I wanted to support her and her family, because I considered them our family.She again came back, but 2 days back left me again.I just believe, even after all this, she does not respects me now at all. Currently, I am again blocked from everywhere. In a complete mental depression. At just a age of 23, all my family knew about her. Now, it is impossible to explain why are not together.PS - That was how I wanted to write my heart out. I would like to tell my dear readers on Quora, always respect your self respect. Today, I think, she takes me for granted because I shown my dependence on her.Secondly, I am now living for my family’s ambition, I am a very decent and hard working guy, I am starting my own business in next 2 months. I am spending all my efforts in the business now.Thirdly, May god bless her with all the happiness in the world.Fourthly, I you get in to a relationship with someone, but if you get into it, never break it, your actions may end not only that persons like but also his/her family.Suggestions of my dear readers are welcomed, what should I do now, currently, I am just 23 and putting all my efforts in business.And YES, I too had a love story. My love won but I could not win my love.Thank you :)Edit 1: I send her this answer on Instagram today, fortunately, I was not blocked there. She knew I do not use it. Feels like, she is even more mad at me know. She was rude today to extent to which she never was. According to her, I insulted her feelings and her family, by posting this on Quora.Edit 2: Guys, please give me your genuine suggestions, I want to become a better person. When she came back for the last time, I told her, I want you to and myself to be sure that this time you won’t change your decision. So, I said, I want answers to whatever wrong you did to me. I give you one week to give your best to apologise and win me back. I might be even rude, but you know I myself am dying to get back to you, so I will. She today told me, I gave her a lesson of what’s not love and I am the worst guy, because someone in true love will not want to make his/her partner suffer. I swear upon god, I did not wanted her to suffer. I just wanted to push her to a bit extreme, so she understands our relationship is not a game.Edit 3: A gentlemen suggested that I should be a support system and should not expect anything return. Thank you sir for your suggestion. If I get her, I don’t want fancy marriage, I just want her, be with her and her family like a support system.I genuinely, am feeling, I lost her completely today after posting my story here, because it really annoyed her. I swear on God, I did not meant to distort her image and present myself as a good person. Please, hate me everybody.