See The Adult, See The Child - Kingston & Richmond Lscb: Fill & Download for Free

Being born and growing up in Hull, many things have changed for the better. There have been some rough times in the past, as the City’s economy was based primarily on fishing, shipping and associated industries, which went into decline during the ‘70’s. Hull took a big hit. But came back stronger and leaner, so to speak. Recently of course we know it was European City of Culture (why so many residents are anti-European is a mystery)… and the center is revitalised with creative industries and technological hubs.I moved away some 25 years ago, so have not enjoyed these latest developments in full (I visited regularly) - I moved with work to the University of Lincoln, another burgeoning city of expansion. I now live abroad as retired.But my memories of Hull are largely fond ones. People are generally friendly, but like any large city, one has to know where to be and where not to be, and when. Hull had a fairly ‘interesting’ reputation for its nightlife and associated hassle - and in my younger years I saw this up close (too close) on a few occasions. But that is youth and stupidity - just stay clear of notorious trouble spots. Nothing new here; you will see the same in Sheffield, Leeds or Manchester.Housing is affordable, facilities good, infrastructure good. In all it is an OK place to be. You need to be affable, have a sense of humor and not be ‘up yer arse’. It is, as I mentioned, traditionally an old seafaring town: Idiots and entitled individuals are not tolerated compassionately. It helps to learn the lingo. If you don’t understand what a ‘fern curl’ is, then look it up :) … or ask a local.My initial reaction to this question was going to be ‘don’t do it!’, but on reflection, I realise that Hull was quite kind to me and made me very grounded as a child, teenager and young adult. You will get out what you put in. As I say, people are generally friendly, will wear their heart on their sleeve (tell you most of their life story given the chance), and will make you fall about laughing if you give them the chance. You can make a home for sure, and Hull will make it feel like your home.

Thank you asking the child-parent question, “As a parent, how would you feel if your children told you they hate you?”Nearly every child whether in their childhood or as adult children has had such thoughts of bitterness and even hatred towards one or both parents. I know that I had those thoughts and feelings. In fact, I wished that I was born into another family!As a parent, I have heard some difficulty things from my own children. It was from their perspective of fairness or lack of love/attention to them. The oldest child feel like the second Mom to the other children and feel that life is unfair to him/her. The middle child feels neglected as the third child receives all the attention. S/he either becomes passive or aggressive. And if one has a third sibling, well, that is the spoiled child that everything that you never got in life.When I hear my adult children or my grand children say harsh words about myself or about one’s parents, these are some of my emotions:A. Feeling hurt and rejected for that child walks away being angryB. Feeling of betrayal for not keeping my promise to that childC. Feeling deep sadness when one sees tears flow from that child’s eyesD. Feeling of having to make it up to that child in some manner-compensationE. Feeling of anger toward those who put one in that situation whether work or church. It’s a last minute important meeting that one has to be there.F. Feeling of being a failed parent with a lower self-esteem.Words matter more than one thinks. For a single word can break a heart or a single word can heal a broken heart. It truly hurts for there is a cry of not feeling loved or accepted by one’s own child. It hurts when a child can’t accept a parent’s explanation of why s/he can’t do what they promised. Certainly one do not expect a 6 year to reason as an adult, but one hopes that one day they will reflect and understand what happened during that time period. As they become a parent him/herself, then one hopes that they too will realize that it is not as easily as one thinks.SUMMARY: A parent’s heart is broken when a child says that they hate or don’t love him/her anyone. It is only by God’s grace that the child-parent relationship is restored to love and acceptance.

Yes.It struck me and stayed with me, being witness to this behaviour…a red flag recognized in hind sight.I noticed his personality did a complete 180 depending on who he ran into when we were out in public. On a couple occasions, it was ‘over the top’..completely disingenuous. I had no words, at the time, and just stared at him once that person we had run into had left. My nex looked at me, recognized my awareness and snapped out of it. He jumped back into character as quickly as he had jumped into character upon seeing that person from his past. He proceeded to deflect and engage me into another topic of discussion.He never wanted me to meet his step father. He said that he was older and and was hurt over my nex’s divorce the year and a half prior. I did, however, get to meet him..a retired psychology professor from Queens University. The nex and I attended the final concert of the Tragically Hip in Kingston Ontario, where his dad still lived. (I had purchased the tickets as a gift, last minute /both of us loved the Hip). Canadians know that this was the concert of the century and all hotels in Kingston were booked up solid, months prior! His dad was awesome! Unlike what the nex said, he was so happy to meet me and show me his hobby room and art. What I did see was how my nex behaved in his presence!!!! His personality was devoid of the person I had come to know. My nex was obnoxious, loud, braggy and childlike. He was not the charismatic, cool guy that I had fallen for. In his father’s presence, he was around 10–14 years old.In retrospect, that was his truest self.. the real person ‘behind the mask’. I know that he admires his step-dad and needs his love and respect. He came into my nex’s traumatized life at 14 and provided stability, calm and guidance. In his presence, my nex could not be anything but his honest self..a demanding, insecure and needy child.