Performance Bond: Fill & Download for Free

A little late with this post. Maybe even a little too late, but just thought I’d share my experience.I’m Indonesian, Jakarta born (well, Bekasi) and grew up in several places. The only exposure that I have of Bahasa Indonesia is that I speak it at home with my parents and brother, but more so like broken Indonesian: the kind of Indonesian only my parents understand… and the Indonesian that I use when going home for the summer holidays to speak with my extended family.I left Indonesia for Kuala Lumpur at 4 years old. My parents enrolled me to a bilingual school in KL with around 95% local (with the rest Indian, African) which got me speaking better Malay than Bahasa Indonesia. I then moved to Saudi Arabia and attended to 2 American international schools; lived in a predominantly expat community, and was exposed to people from all over the world. I think in the first 2 years we moved to Saudi Arabia, my family and I would often go to Indonesian open houses and gatherings, but after being exposed to so many different cultures, I just kind of stopped going on a regular basis and only came to gatherings only if necessary just to still hold some type of bond/show respect to the tante-tantes, om-om. I didn’t really have much of an Indonesian influence because the Indonesian kids themselves in my community spoke little to barely no Bahasa and surrounded themselves with people from everywhere.After Saudi, we moved to Bangkok, Thailand— which was a huge culture change. Saudi is not so a third world country, more like a developed country, and I lived in an expat community a gate away from the locals, so living downtown, eating street food on a daily, and going to an international school filled with 50% Southeast Asians in Bangkok and with teachers not only Americans + Canadians but a mixture of Filipinos, English, Indians, Australians, South Africans, etc. was a huge change. This was my first exposure to the Indonesian lifestyle or what my life would be if I lived in Jakarta and attended BSJ or some school. My parents made me attend lots of events at the Indonesian embassy in Bangkok and from ambassadors, to respected people, to celebrities, and to so many important people that I was able to meet in Indonesian gatherings— I had to train my Bahasa to speak to the people around me or else it would be perceived as embarrassing or I would be called ‘sombong’ (you know, the typical).Also, the expat community in Southeast Asia is pretty big yet small (you know Michael from BKK who knows your friend Sarah from Singapore who knows a Tatjana that lives in Jakarta) so living in Bangkok got me exposed to a lot of Indonesians who have the same upbringing as me or people with the same upbringing but living in Indonesia… which gained me a few friends to be able to call up when I go to Jakarta for the holidays.I’ve never been a huge fan of living in Indonesia or making friends with Indonesians but after finding out my international school friends in Indonesia so in love with Indonesia, and even being able to speak Bahasa… I was motivated to be more patriotic and communicative in Bahasa Indonesia. It was kind of like— if Pier, yang orang Perancis bisa so proudly speak bahasa Indonesian… ya aku jugak bisa dong!!I now currently live in Saudi Arabia again but in another, bigger international community. InshAllah I am going to university next year, and I am not sure where I will be going but I will say that I don’t like to categorize myself with Indonesians. There is no hatred towards Indonesians or anything, it’s just that I don’t really resonate with typical Indonesians. I feel this because every time I go back home for the summer holidays, I have at least a 15 minute breakdown of frustration towards the mentality/viewpoints of the people in Indonesia. I just feel as if my view on life, people, and the world is a lot different than majority of theirs. Also, I feel odd in Indonesia. For example, last summer in Jakarta, I went to meet up with my half Indonesian-half Bule friend who happens to be 190cm… and got the whole cinema place staring at us greet each other… which I thought was pretty weird. Like I get it, he’s bule, and he’s dang tall but please stop staring at us. And, HELLO!! IT’S JAKARTA! There’s lots of Bules! Do you get stunned by every tall bules that you see???! Lol. Aaaandd, whenever I try to buy something but I forget what the word is in Indonesian and my Indonesian freezes, the workers/cashier people look at me like I’m a dumb blonde. It’s so annoying.Currently, I have 3 close Indonesian friends around me but they are also Indonesians who didn’t grow up with Indonesian upbringings so I guess they are the closest people (other than my family) to Indonesia that I know.I don’t know if I will ever be like my parents when I grow up— living abroad and always wanting to go to Indonesian gatherings. I just think I would end up feeling like a penguin in a sea of seagulls. The only type of Indonesians who make me feel at home are the Indonesians who too, like me, have a long set of cultural identity. They are the people I don’t mind speaking my broken Indonesian to and go cruising in Jakarta just to get gorengan. But other than that, I will always be apart of Indonesia and Indonesia will always be a part of me. After all, whenever I travel and spot Indonesians, theres a sense of warm solidarity in my heart. It’s like, hey! Orang Indonesia jugak!