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PDF Editor FAQ
My period has been missing for 254 days. My mother doesn't want to take me to the doctor. She thinks that natural remedies will help. I'm 16. What do I do?
I will go even further . Not to alarm you, but while menstration (periods) in the first year after you start them can be erractic, after that they should be rather regular. The number one reason for missing periods is pregnancy. Yes, it has been longer than that, but you could have missed four months, then who knows. It would help to have more info. Are you sexually active? Do you use birth control? If so, what kind.You do have rights over your body and your health. You can go to any physician, and I recommend that you do. It would be confidential unless they needed to intervene in some way. However, if they felt it was expedient, they could ask one of your guardians, parents, to give consent. If they don’t, my sense is they would involve social services. If only to get permission. Of course, the best course would be for the provider to reach the parent and to have them come down. The mere fact that their daughter were that worried should go a long way.She could also ask a friend to talk to their parents confidentially. One things as adults, adults tend to know the options better than teenagers.YOU NEED HEALTHCARE. At the very least, walk right into an emergency room and tell them your story. They can’t turn you away. They know the laws. And, they should work to resolve it.Meanwhile get a pregnancy test from the drug store. If you have been sexually active with or without birth control over the past six to nine months.I wanted to add some information for you as I am very concerned about your health and well-being. The following is based on Maine state law and is directly edited by my attorney as I see this type of thing about four times per year. I will highlight important sections as not all of it will apply. Certainly, you are not talking about becoming emancipated, but attaining healthcare as a minor is a lot a like. Also, the word “incompetent” in the law is not calling you imcompetent, it is just a legal term for this statute.1) If a 16 year old were emancipated by court order would she be able to come to office appointments by herself without parental permission? Yes.2) If a 16 year old is not yet emancipated by court order, is she able to come to the appointment by herself without parental permission? Answer: No, unless: (i) she is a pregnant minor contemplating whether to continue or terminate a pregnancy, in which case she is authorized to receive information and counseling concerning public and private agencies available to provide birth control information and services, or (ii) she is a minor who may be treated as an adult on the basis that she has been living separately from her parents or legal guardian for at least 60 days and is independent of parental support.3) If the 16 year old is able to come to the appointment, is she authorized to start birth control without parental authorization? Answer: No, unless she is a minor who may be treated as an adult. In this case, only if: (i) she is emancipated by court order (which doesn’t appear to be the case), or (ii) she is a minor who may be treated as an adult on the basis that she has been living separately from her parents or legal guardian for at least 60 days and is independent of parental support.Keep in mind, that if you were to show up at my office, my staff would hopefully pick up on the fact that you were a minor. I would then note that I could not treat you without consent of a guardian (parent if that is the case). But, that does NOT mean I would say to you, “I can’t treat you. Bye.” I would then be faced with a medical situation that I would deem requires some type of intervention. Whether that means speaking with your parents or hopefully having them come to the office, I would like do that. My number one concern would be that you left and were lost to follow-up. At that point, I would feel completely responsible for your health and well-being. While a minor is considered unable to make prudent decisions for their healthcare, they are also by the same token, considered not to know when the lack of healthcare is not safe. One good thing about a solo physician is he or she will know the family. I would know your mom and how she would deal with this issue.BackgroundIn Maine, the person legally authorized to provide consent to treat a minor varies according to the minor’s legal status, the type of treatment or health care service being provided to the minor, and, in certain circumstances, the age of the minor. A minor is defined as any person less than 18 years of age.Generally, minors are presumed to be legally incompetent to provide informed consent for medical treatment or health care services. Accordingly, unless otherwise indicated, informed consent must be obtained from the minor’s parent or guardian.However, there are exceptions to the general consent rule for minors. Some minors have the same rights as adult patients to consent to medical treatment. Other minors have a limited right to consent to specific medical and mental health treatment services, depending on the type of care rendered, the circumstances in which care is provided, and, in some instances, upon the age of the minor. In all cases, the authority of the minor to consent is predicated upon the treating healthcare provider’s determination that the minor possesses decisional capacity to provide informed consent to treatment.1. Minors Who May Be Treated as Adults: The following minors are legally authorized to provide consent to all health care services:a. Minors who have been living separately from their parents or legal guardians for at least 60 days and are independent of parental support.b. Minors who are or have been legally married.c. Minors who are or who have been members of the U.S. Armed Forces.d. Minors who have been emancipated by court order.e. Minors who are residing in a correctional facility pursuant to a conviction as an adult.A treating healthcare provider should request appropriate documentation of the above circumstances (e.g. marriage license, Armed Service ID, emancipation order, etc.) prior to providing treatment to the minor.2. Minors Authorized to Provide Consent Under Certain Circumstances: A minor is authorized to consent to the following healthcare services:a. Treatment for Alcohol Abuseb. Treatment for Drug Abusec. Treatment for Emotional or Psychological Problemsd. Spiritual Treatmente. Organ Donationf. Sexual Assault Forensic Examinationg. Birth Control Information: A pregnant minor contemplating whether to continue or terminate a pregnancy is authorized to receive information and counseling concerning public and private agencies available to provide birth control information and services.h. Family Planning Services: The following minors are authorized to provide consent to receive family planning services:(i) Minors who are parents;(ii) Minors who are married;(iii) Minors who have the consent of their parent or legal guardian to receive family planning services; and(iv) Minors who, in the professional judgment of a physician, may suffer probable health hazards if family planning services are not provided.Family planning services include: ·Counseling with trained personnel regarding family planning, contraceptive procedures and the treatment of infertility;·Distribution of literature relating to family planning, contraceptive procedures and the treatment of infertility; and·Referral of patients to physicians or health agencies for consultation, examination, tests, medical treatment and prescription for the purposes of family planning, contraceptive procedures and treatment of infertility and provision of contraceptive procedures and supplies.i. Minors Who are Parents: A minor who is a parent is generally entitled to provide consent to health care services on behalf of his or her child in the absence of a guardianship, custody order, or other limitation on the minor’s parental rights, even though the minor may lack the authority to consent to the same healthcare services on behalf of his- or herself.A minor authorized to consent to a specific type of medical treatment or health care service is also authorized to refuse that same treatment or service.A minor who consents on his or her own behalf to healthcare services is responsible for the costs of such services, unless the minor’s parent or guardian has expressly agreed to assume full or partial responsibility.First, cost would not be an issue. As a minor, you would not likely be held responsible for cost, and hospitals would work with you anyway. For me, I would never turn away a patient for healthcare costs.Just like anything, things are not written in stone. If a minor shows up in an emergency room for an ear infection, they will not be treated without consent. But, if they show up with a major concussion, etc., they will receive a Cat Scan of the brain, because the physician will deem it emergent. He/She will try to get hold of your mother or father or other guardian, but they won’t wait longer than five to ten minutes.Keep in mind the following: The decision of whether or not you can give consent as a minor and be treated by a healthcare provider, is completely up to the provider. If I see an 11 yo walk in with a cold, I will not treat (although I would likely call social services to find out why an 11 yo is by himself. But, if I feel that by not treating you, your health is at risk, I can treat you, and if there is any legal recourse, it will be on me.The very fact that in your question you state 254 days and not a year reveals the level of concern you have. As a 16 yo, I am very proud of you for coming on Quora with this question. Ultimately, you are the one who has to advocate for yourself. I should say, knowing only half the story, that your mother THINKS she is doing the right thing. I would start with your FP or your pediatrician. You can always call them confidentially and see what they say. If you parents have any questions, let me know, and I will give you my phone number so I can help.Good luck. Please comment back if you need more info.
What is the worst advice people still give?
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me.”And the famous Eleanor Roosevelt alternative: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”This advice is often given to minority and marginalized people, telling us to “toughen up", and “don't let words get to you".I hate these quotes SO FREAKING MUCH.So what, a child being told by her mother that she'll never be good enough is “consenting” to her mother hurting her? And it's the child's responsibility to take back that consent and that would stop her mother from verbally abusing her?!The quote sounds like it's empowering, but in fact, it's nothing but victim blaming. That the abused and marginalized are responsible for their own suffering by letting other people abuse them. Eleanor Roosevelt was a great woman, but she's also incredibly privileged. She was born into an incredibly powerful political family, had a progressive education very few women could afford at the time, married to a powerful politician, and eventually became the first lady… For her to say “nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent" in a pre-civil rights movement America, when black people suffered systemic racism and oppression, was at best tone deaf, at worst insulting.And now, advice like this is often used to tell minorities to grow thicker skin, when minorities talk about insults, micro-aggressions they face everyday. And people use this quote to dismiss minority and marginalize people's legitimate complaints, which actually cause real emotional harm!“Oh someone called you a fag? Don’t let it get to you. Nobody can put you down unless you let them, you know.”“Oh someone at work called you a pig and ask you to eat salad? Don’t mind them. Sticks and stones.”“Oh someone called you a bitch and made rape jokes when playing Halo multiplayer games? That's just how things are with gaming. You just have to grow some thick skin and deal with it.”It asks the minority people to internalize discrimination they face, instead of speaking up against it. We're not allowed to be angry or sad, we're not allowed to be hurt. We're required to be strong, nice and polite, so the privileged will be more willing to help us, more willing to treat us better.Fuck. This. Shit.And if you really want to be an ally, stop telling us to “toughen up". We shouldn't need to toughen up just so we get to live the same life as the privileged group.
What could a child realistically do if they wanted to see a doctor, but their parents won't allow it?
In the UK, you could approach a doctor, a walk in clinic, or even a hospital A&E unit, and you will get treatment.Doctors have a duty of confidentiality, but a doctor has a lot of considerations to bear in mind when treating a minor without a parent’s involvement.Is the child capable of understanding and consenting to the diagnosis and treatment?Is the lack of parental involvement a sign of neglect or abuse? Should child protection services be informed?Is it in the best interests of the child that the parents aren’t informed?It is informative to look at the guidance doctors receive: Protecting children and young people: The responsibilities of all doctorsIt is common for teenagers to receive confidential treatment, particularly around potentially embarrassing or sensitive problems.In principle, “a child under 16 can consent to treatment without parental agreement if the child has the intelligence and maturity to understand the nature, purpose, benefits and risks of the treatment, as well as the risk of going untreated and any alternatives. If so, her consent alone may be valid.If the child has capacity to consent, she has the capacity to give or withhold consent to disclosure of confidential information.”[1]Also, if the doctor considers there are signs of neglect or abuse (which may include witholding medical treatment), then they must report it to the child protection services.Footnotes[1] Patient Confidentiality - Judging teenagers' competency
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