Parental Consent Form For Athletic Activities: Fill & Download for Free

No, it’s not illegal.The Fourth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution guarantees "the right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures." Before 1985, doubt existed about whether this right applied to students in the public schools. Schools argued that administrators acted in loco parentis—in the place of the parent—while students were at school. In 1985, the U.S. Supreme Court determined that the Fourth Amendment applies to students in the public schools (New Jersey v. T.L.O., 1985). The Court concluded, however, that the school environment requires an easing of the restriction to which searches by public authorities are normally subject. School officials, therefore, do not need probable cause or a warrant to search students.The Court articulated a standard for student searches: reasonable suspicion. Reasonable suspicion is satisfied when two conditions exist: (1) the search is justified at its inception, meaning that there are reasonable grounds for suspecting that the search will reveal evidence that the student has violated or is violating the law or school rules, and (2) the search is reasonably related in scope to the circumstances that justified the search, meaning that the measures used to conduct the search are reasonably related to the objectives of the search and that the search is not excessively intrusive in light of the student's age and sex and the nature of the offense.In New Jersey v. T.L.O., a teacher's report of a student smoking in the bathroom justified a search of the student's purse. Since this landmark decision, several cases have debated what constitutes reasonable suspicion:Four students huddled together, one with money in his hand and another with his hand in his pocket, does not provide reasonable suspicion (A.S. v. State of Florida, 1997).An anonymous phone call advising an administrator that a student will be bringing drugs to school, coupled with the student's reputation as a drug dealer, creates reasonable suspicion to search the student's pockets and book bag (State of New Hampshire v. Drake, 1995).A report made by two students to a school official that another student possesses a gun at school constitutes reasonable suspicion to search the student and his locker (In re Commonwealth v. Carey,1990).An experienced drug counselor's observation of a student who appears distracted and has bloodshot eyes and dilated pupils justifies taking the student's blood pressure and pulse (Bridgman v. New Trier High School District No. 203, 1997).The fact that the search of all but one student in a class fails to reveal allegedly stolen property gives school officials reasonable suspicion to search that student (DesRoches v. Caprio, 1998).The odor of marijuana in the hall does not provide reasonable suspicion to search all students' book bags, purses, and pockets (Burnham v. West, 1987).Although the legal standard for reasonable suspicion is clear, the application of it in different contexts is not always as clear. The Court has even noted thatarticulating precisely what reasonable suspicion means . . . is not possible. Reasonable suspicion is a commonsense, nontechnical conception that deals with the factual and practical considerations of everyday life on which reasonable and prudent men, not legal technicians, act. (Ornelas v. United States, 1996, at 695)Probable Cause and Student ConsentSchool officials need only reasonable suspicion to search students in public schools, but sworn law enforcement officials normally must have probable cause to search students. Probable cause to search exists when "known facts and circumstances are sufficient to warrant a man of reasonable prudence in the belief that contraband . . . will be found" (Ornelas v. United States, 1996, at 696). But are law enforcement officials assigned to schools to maintain safety subject to the reasonable suspicion standard or the higher probable cause standard? The answer depends on whether the court views law enforcement personnel assigned to the school as school officials or law enforcement officials.When the police or school administrators act at one another's request, they run the risk of becoming one another's agents. Such a relationship could change the standard necessary to conduct a student search. Some courts treat police officers as school officials subject to the lower standard of reasonable suspicion when they search students at the request of school administrators (In the Interest of Angelia D.B., 1997). Other courts hold that school officials conducting a search on the basis of information from the school resource officer are acting as agents of the police and are, therefore, subject to the higher standard of probable cause (State of New Hampshire v. Heirtzler, 2000). The mere presence of a sworn law enforcement officer during a search by a school administrator does not trigger the need for probable cause (Florida v. D.S., 1996).School officials and sworn law enforcement officers may conduct a search without reasonable suspicion or probable cause if the student voluntarily consents to the search. Voluntariness is determined on the basis of the circumstances—including the student's age, education level, and mental capacity—and the context of the search. When consent is granted, officials may conduct the search only within the boundaries of the consent. If a student consents to the search of her purse, for example, an administrator may not search her locker unless the search of the purse provides probable cause or reasonable suspicion to search the locker. School officials and law enforcement officers are not required to advise students that they have a right to refuse to give consent to search. Some school policies or state regulations, however, may require that they advise students of their rights.Some school policies require students to provide consent to a search or risk discipline. In at least one federal circuit, the court has upheld this policy (DesRoches v. Caprio, 1998). In this case, all but one student consented to a search of their personal belongings. The search of the consenting students revealed nothing. Pursuant to school board policy, DesRoches was suspended for 10 days for failure to consent to the search. The student claimed that his Fourth Amendment rights were violated because the administrator did not have reasonable suspicion to search him. The court held that when the search of all other students in the class failed to reveal the stolen item, the administrator had reasonable, individualized suspicion to search DesRoches. Therefore, his discipline for failing to consent to a legal search was upheld.Individual Versus Random SearchesSchool officials conduct individual searches when they suspect that a student or a small group of students possesses evidence of a violation of the law or school rules. Such searches are subject to the reasonable suspicion standard. Officials conduct random or blanket searches not because of individualized suspicion, but as a preventive measure. Examples of random searches include the use of metal detectors in school entrances and sweeps of parking lots and lockers. The legality of a random search depends on whether the school has a compelling interest or special need that warrants the use of a search without suspicion. The most common need articulated by schools is the prevention of drug abuse.Perhaps the most controversial random search is the use of drug-sniffing dogs in schools. The right of school officials or police to use dogs to detect drugs in students' belongings is well established. In fact, most courts conclude that such detection is not a search because the dogs merely sniff the air around the property and that students do not have an expectation of privacy in the air around their belongings.One federal court has recently held that the use of drug-sniffing dogs on a student's person requires individualized, reasonable suspicion. Prevention of drug abuse, according to this court, does not justify the dog sniffing the person because it intrudes on the expectation of privacy and security (B.C. v. Plumas Unified School District, 1999). This case changed practices in many school districts—those schools no longer use the dogs to sniff around students.Drug-testing programs are another form of a random search. In 1995, the Supreme Court upheld a drug-testing program for student athletes because the school had a documented drug epidemic; participation in athletics was optional; the athletes had a lessened expectation of privacy because they participated in communal showering; the athletes had a heightened risk of injury; the athletes were the leaders of the drug culture; the testing procedure was minimally intrusive; and the consequence of a positive test was not discipline but treatment (Vernonia School District 47J v. Acton, 1995).As schools try to expand drug-testing programs beyond the facts in Vernonia, courts have struggled in a number of cases to determine what is constitutional:Todd v. Rush (1998) and Miller v. Wilkes (1999) upheld drug testing for students participating in any extracurricular activity.Willis v. Anderson (1998) struck down drug testing for students suspended for certain disciplinary infractions such as fighting.Joy et al. v. Penn-Harris Madison School Corporation(2000) upheld a drug testing program for students who drive to school or engage in extracurricular activities.Earls v. Board of Education of Tecumseh Public School District (2001) struck down a drug-testing policy for students participating in extracurricular activities because no special need existed other than for athletes. The opinion notes, however, that schools need not wait until drug use is epidemic before implementing a testing program.Tannahill v. Lockney Independent School District (2001) struck down a drug-testing policy for all middle and high school students for lack of a compelling state interest (there was no documented drug abuse program for students in this locality).Until the Court provides guidance on drug-testing programs beyond the facts of Vernonia, schools should consider the following questions before instituting a drug-testing program: How serious is the drug problem in the tested population? Have less intrusive means to combat the problem been exhausted? Did parents give consent to the search? Is the testing procedure reliable and minimally intrusive? Are the consequences of a positive search result discipline, denial of privileges, or treatment?The primary purpose of student searches is to maintain a safe learning environment. Discipline and conviction are two secondary purposes. Usually, law enforcement personnel conduct searches to reveal evidence of a violation of the law. The seized evidence then can be used in a criminal trial to convict the student of a crime. School administrators conduct a search to gather evidence for school discipline. At times law enforcement and school administrators may, therefore, have different purposes for a potential search. One crucial difference in their purposes is the ability to use the results of an illegal search in a disciplinary hearing but not in a criminal proceeding.School administrators face severe threats to school safety and are simultaneously held increasingly accountable to the public and policymakers to keep students safe. To keep schools safe, most administrators err on the side of searching rather than not searching. Administrators' judgments are protected by governmental immunity as long as the search is not knowingly or willfully illegal. In fact, an administrator will not incur civil liability unless his or her conduct violates clearly established statutory or constitutional rights (Harlow v. Fitzgerald, 1982). Immunity is not dependent on whether the actual search violated the law but rather on the objective reasonableness of the search. Immunity protects administrators acting in good faith in a gray area of the law.Preventive SearchAs school practitioners navigate the murky waters of school searches, two practices may help successfully avoid legal challenge: debriefing and policy.Debriefing. After a search, administrators should meet with those individuals who are involved. Record and reflect on the crucial areas of the search and learn from the reflection. This exercise may be invaluable if the search is subsequently challenged. Document the names of the people who conducted the search; the background of the student who was searched; the alleged infraction; the way the school learned of the infraction; the basis for the search (for example, how reasonable suspicion, probable cause, or consent was obtained); the time and location of the search; the names of the people who were present at the search; and the school policies that were implicated and followed. School officials should also note whether the police were involved or present during the search.Policy. The best search policies are developed by school boards who work collaboratively with local law enforcement officials, local judges and attorneys, school staff, and community members. A sound policy can make the difference between a legal or illegal search. Sound school search policies should have a mission statement: to maintain a safe learning environment. They should outline techniques for searching students, from the least intrusive to the most intrusive means (metal detectors, canines, breath tests, urine tests, pat downs, strip searches), and they should describe the types of searches students may be subjected to while on school property or at a school function (locker searches, automobile searches, personal belongings, and personal searches). The policies should explain what happens to seized possessions; define consent searches and note how consent may be obtained and the consequences for failing to provide it; state that lockers and other school property are provided for students' use, are under the school's control, and are subject to search at all times; and require that students and parents acknowledge that they have read and understood the school search policy.Good policies can guide educators' actions, but school staff members need to remember that what constitutes a legal student search depends upon the context. Despite the lack of clarity about whether to apply reasonable suspicion or probable cause in different situations, courts are more willing now than ever to find student searches legal to preserve safety. In the final analysis, school personnel should balance the student's expectation of privacy with the school's unique need to create and preserve a safe learning and working environment.ReferencesA.S. v. State of Florida, 693 So. 2d 1095 (Fla. App. 2d Dist. 1997).B.C. v. Plumas Unified School District, 192 F.3d 1260 (9th Cir. 1999).Bridgman v. New Trier High School District No. 203, 128 F. 3d 1146 (7th Cir. 1997).Burnham v. West, 681 F. Supp. 1160 (E.D. Va. 1987).DesRoches v. Caprio, 156 F.3d 571 (4th Cir. 1998).Earls v. Board of Education of Tecumseh Public School District, 242 F.3d 1264 (10th Cir. 2001).Florida v. D.S., 685 So.2d 41 (Fla. App. 3d Dist. 1996).Harlow v. Fitzgerald, 457 U.S. 800 (1982).In re Commonwealth v. Carey, 554 N.E. 2d 1199 (Mass. 1990).In the Interest of Angelia D.B. 564 N.W. 2d 682 (Wis. 1997).Joy et al. v. Penn-Harris Madison School Corporation, 212 F.3d 1052 (7th Cir. 2000).Miller v. Wilkes, 172 F.3d 574 (8th Cir. 1999).New Jersey v. T.L.O., 469 U.S. 325 (1985).Ornelas v. United States, 517 U.S. 690 (1996).State of New Hampshire v. Drake, 662 A.2d 265 (1995).State of New Hampshire v. Heirtzler, No. 00-139 (Sup. Ct. filed May 2000).Tannahill v. Lockney Independent School District, 133 F. Supp. 2d 919 (N.D. Texas 2001).Todd v. Rush, 133 F. 3d 984 (7th Cir. 1998).Vernonia School District 47J v. Acton, 515 U.S. 646 (1995).Willis v. Anderson, 158 F. 3d 415 (7th Cir. 1998).[1]Footnotes[1] The Right to Search Students

Nope. I can say this because I am quite shy. However, I’m not physically ugly. I am an athlete and have never been overweight once in my life. I have always been in good shape.My personal experience is that often I can build attraction with women when I first meet them, usually in class. They tend to assume I’m a normal guy and get excited and expect that we could have some sort of future relationship — then, the more they get to know me the more they realize my personality is not what they assumed it to be. And their initial attraction for me withers away as they get to know the real me better, which is actually quite a shitty experience because it’s the rejection of my authentic self, not a superficial front. I see them become disinterested over time, and eventually take steps to deliberately avoid me. When it happens over and over again, it starts to suck. There are exceptions, though, and I’ve actually been asked out, and have gone on, more dates than I have (successfully) asked women on. When this happens, it’s usually within a week of first meeting. Any longer than that and it’s never worked out for me.Now, I haven’t had no success at all. I was quite successful with one woman in particular. And at least 4 others didn’t find my personality unattractive, I just failed to ask them out due to personal insecurities. But that’s all the success I can speak of.I recently came across new research published by faculty at state colleges in the Midwest, among them Iowa State, validating my personal experiences. It’s an idea called ‘Benevolent Sexism (BS)’ (which I and many other men deliberately do not endorse) defined as adopting a stereotypical view of gender roles and treating women as such; namely, home rearing, child raising, stay at home Mom gender roles — aka, unegalitarian gender perceptions. Fundamentally unequal. But also, perhaps what people want.The kicker of this research, despite making women feel undermined and patronized, and despite being fully aware of these things women in the study chose of their own free will men who expressed BS traits as preferable over men who did not express BS traits.’ You can read the study here.How about fricken that? Scientific confirmation of the ‘asshole’ phenomena. Men who undermine and patronize women are chosen by women and deemed attractive. What the actual fuck?!The theory the researchers have suggested as to why this seemingly paradoxical behavior takes place is because it theoretically signals a ‘willingness and desire to commit and invest’ into said woman, despite the negative effects of patronization. In theory, then, one can not be sexist at all and still express said intentions, because then one runs the risk of coming off clingy. It would seem that people are essentially forced into being sexist (assholes) if they are to be deemed attractive instead of clingy.I almost can not believe it. It just seems so exceedingly stupid.But it’s what the evidence suggests. And, it supports the red pill idea that women don’t want to be treated equally by men, as described here: r/TheRedPill - If you treat women like men they will think you are sexist and here r/RedPillWomen - Modern women choosing traditional masculinity.In a way, if you are not benevolently sexist, then this implies misogyny as explained in the above links. And so, therefore, egalitarianism = misogyny because it’s a rejection of the feminine gender in favor of an ambiguous one. And that means society is rejecting egalitarian ideas, which can be traced back to the punk rock movement of the 70’s and 80’s. And I suppose this makes historical sense because many people associate punk rock with negative connotation, a rejection of social standards makes people feel nervous, stupid and inferior (perhaps rightfully?) — being a predominately white male genre, of the suburbs (redline neighborhoods) doesn’t help, even though punk represents a rebellion against the policies that redline neighborhoods historically embraced, they rebel from within these neighborhoods. It is my understanding that most people aspire to gain approval from others. Punk flies in the face of that and criticizes people for wanting that. Usually punks are people born of privilege, with more or less fortunate childhoods, being the generation born and raised in such redlined neighborhoods. This is where the idea of the ‘rich snob’ comes from. The idea that ‘only the wealthy can afford to complain about society.’ ‘Only the privileged can criticize gender roles.’ ‘Only the wealthy can criticize capitalism.’But actually, for many with ‘privilege,’ upon learning what their parental generation did to create these neighborhoods in the first place, create this privilege, they are mostly disgusted and rebel. Meanwhile, most people are trying their hardest to create their own privilege. Women in particular, seem bent on growing up too fast; consistently worried about hording materialistic resources, becoming active in the economy, and achieving self-sufficiency as quickly as possible; no time to stop and smell the roses for no reason. This is just a meaner way of saying I know most women spend their entire lives trying to gain career advantage to be able to afford children and attract a man that can sustainably afford pregnancy and the costs of child rearing. This conflict of interest becomes apparent.I would like to emphasize that punk rockers are in fact not racist, and are extremely liberal and progressive in their political views. Usually supporting people like Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders, just so that’s clear. Unfortunately, these circumstances have led to derogatory labels such as ‘social justice warrior’ and ‘Bernie Bros’ as labels for predominantly liberal and progessive young white males raised in suburbs which are exceptionally unattractive to the women desperately trying to gain career advantage as outlined above. If I may interject one defense for these men here, it’s this: while the goal of achieving enough resources for a family are certainly noble, they aren’t sustainable and end up hurting other people in the process. I think it’s possible that there is some level of deep seated selfishness in this quest for career advantage that is some form of supercharged internal ‘NIMBY’-ism in the unconscious of these people (women). For example, thoughts like these: “yes, I agree it’s a little selfish and hurts other people but I don’t have a choice! I need these things or else myself and my family will be hurt.” Suffering is okay just as long as it doesn’t afflict me; not in my back yard — NIMBY. Okay, moving on.Now that diversity is expanding, I wouldn’t be surprised to see women who were raised outside the suburbs to be even more in favor of benevolent sexism than women who were raised in the suburbs. Because we also see a popular trend moving towards music and culture that originated, frankly, inside non-redline neighborhoods in the 60’s onwards, where stereotypical gender roles have always been enforced. Namely, hip-hop music, and to a lesser extent, country music (for mostly white rural areas) — which embrace (benevolent) sexism (where as punk rock rejects it in favor of egalitarianism = misogyny to the women not raised in the suburbs, and also, those who were but lean to the right towards conservative views). But specifically, hip-hop, and artists + listeners and fans embrace benevolent sexism. And, no surprise, the majority of women today prefer hip-hop (and country) to punk rock — despite punk-rock adopting a feminist attitude about equality, and hip-hop adopting a sexist attitude enforcing gender stereotypes.People like this also seem to embrace the idea of a social hierarchy and enjoy being higher on it than others. Egalitarians don’t like to exert power over other people. Here’s where it gets kinky. Many studies show women take pleasure to this desire to gain power over others by climbing a social ladder, and enjoy having higher power and higher social status people exert their force onto them. Some might say without this there can be no sexual attraction. You can see the clear conflict of interest emerge.In fact, you could characterize shyness, at least as defined by the opposite sex, as discomfort in, or unwillingness in, exerting differences in social hierarchies onto others. Namely, from the male onto the female. Even worse, it could be characterized by the refusal, lack of desire or inability to gain social status in the first place — never mind exert it.Paradoxically, then, it seems that when men adopt feminist attitudes they are perceived as unattractive and misogynist; synonymous with ‘shy’ and ‘nice.’ But when women adopt feminist attitudes they are seen as heroic women’s rights activists. A clear double standard that’s self-contradictory. Unless, female feminists do not argue for egalitarian ideas whereas male feminists tend to argue for egalitarian ideas instead of pro-gender feminism. In this way, it is the benevolent sexists who end up advocating for and supporting female gender roles in the minimally harmful way that the pro-gender feminism fundamental inequality mandates. And so it’s the sexists, at least the benevolent ones, that support female feminists the most, thereby explaining the affinity women feel with actual sexists.This comes down to the difference between gender and biological sex. Women don’t want to stop being feminine, they want to be accepted and embraced for being feminine. This means stopping slut-shaming, and embracing submissiveness as celebrated personality traits. So that women may be empowered to seek out feminine submissive sexual desires, and have the freedom to place themselves in unequal sexual situations without fear of personal harm (benevolent sexism is what enables this).This research explains why it seems women want to be treated in a sexist fashion, but only benevolently in a patronizing way, rather than a non-patronizing egalitarian way. Now, one might reasonably say this is an example of internalized sexism. Indeed, perhaps it is. Whether or not this an unconscious thing remains an open question. Whether or not it can be changed remains an open question. Whether or not people want to change, remains an open question in the long run. In the short run the answer is clear, women do not want to change this, whatever it is. And this accounts for why they seem to be put-off or even offended by equal treatment that ignores gender differences.And this then explains the ‘Nice Guy’ phenomena. The ‘Nice Guy’ is the one who does not display traits of benevolent sexism because he finds those traits to be poor character, offensive and disrespectful. Thus women hate him and choose the man that patronizes her instead. And this is the ‘asshole’ phenomena. Where the condescending, undermining, patronizing, sexist, man is loved by women and deemed attractive.I must say, I am disappointed in women for this being their preference. Who would voluntarily choose to be patronized just to preserve their femininity? I find that to be, frankly, well, disappointing on the whole. And because I value self-respect and egalitarian ideas, I guess this makes me some kind of misogynist.I, of course, am being more dramatic than necessary. I really don’t see myself as a misogynist and don’t want that label attached to me, but I did want to highlight what I find to be paradoxical.And honestly, in light of this new evidence I suppose I should start embracing my inner masculinity a little more, :p. I’ve got the testosterone for it, but I still struggle with comprehending how consent can make one one thing okay and non-consent can make the same thing not okay. Now, right away, I’m not a rapist. But I am scared of being accused one, and I think this fear of raping someone inhibits my behavior and prevents me from being sexually comfortable and confident in myself. To me things are objective and consent alone can’t change the status of something from good to bad. I guess I’ve just always been intentionally egalitarian out of moral principle, because it’s the only way to be objective about treating people well and fair, regardless of consent. Again, the conflict of interest here becomes apparent. Perhaps this is not a correct way of being, after all.Indeed, there are fundamental biological inequalities between men and women that, perhaps, correctly suggest that women should not be treated equally as men. And also that, perhaps, men should not be treated equally as women. Though I can see variations between the biological sexes where some members of each group are more masculine or feminine by nature, and it seems that these people should have some form of right to express themselves without feeling pressure to conform to the more common genetic case. In fact, this touches slightly on Jackson Katz’s famous “Tough Guise” criticism of masculinity, and the harmful effects of forcing boys to adhere to the gender stereotype.But what Katz seems to have not realized is that, given the choice in free will, women themselves prefer to enforce gender stereotypes, with system based on consent rather than objectivity. In the most ironic twist of fate, it seems that it is women who are resisting egalitarian movements, and so resisting the exact message that Katz is trying so hard to put forth, in favor of ‘benevolent sexism.’But what is one to do if they think in a frame of mind of objectivity rather than consent? If they aren’t happy using consent based morality, what then?I think, ultimately, political climate you were raised in, and any religious affiliation, are the greatest influencers that cause these paradoxes to arise. Most of what I wrote doesn’t seem to apply to very liberal or progressive women, or applies less. But seems to apply to conservative or libertarian women.I am now of the belief that political affiliation matters a lot when seeking romance, and it is one of the biggest deal breakers besides religion that can affect your outlooks and transcend any sort of physical chemistry, if your fundamental core beliefs are completely contradictory. I advice anyone who goes completely against the cultural mainstream of their area to move. Leave the area. People won’t be interested in you if you’re constantly clashing with their beliefs. Surround yourself with like-minded people first, this is a pre-requisite. Then pursue people of interest afterwards.This answer has been a quest of self-enlightenment and self-learning. I’ve realized things about me that I should work on improving and have discovered unspoken truths that everyone else but myself apparently has already been aware of up until now. Not sure why, but I’m often late to realize things, especially things related to social convention. Maybe I’m autistic, I don’t know.

Being assertive doesn’t mean being an asshole.2. Women don’t have to live a conservative Christian lifestyle just because it fits your moral compass.Women should be free to choose whatever career, life, and/or lifestyle interests them, without discriminatory attitudes and practices of any kind, and from anyone. They are our sisters, our mothers, our daughters and nieces. Women are our partners, in life, work, and in our common human goals of survival and progress.3. When it comes to makeup there is no wrong or right, what you think looks good is what’s right. Art is all about creativity.Some people wear makeup just because it’s art, fun or because they feel confident when they have makeup on. It may be unnecessary in you’re opinion, but no one wishes for you’re approval. “ can all be ourselves with or without makeup. Same goes with hair. there is no wrong or right, what you think looks good is what’s right. It’s all about creativity and expressing yourself. Doesn’t matter if it’s real or not. Or if it’s short, shaved, natural hair, colored, box braids or wigs. Women including black women, no one wishes for you’re approval. Let women equality be themselves without the assumption that they don’t love themselves. It’s not always the case.4. motherhood is a personal choice and she has every right when she wants to be pregnant, how she wants to get pregnant and when she doesn’t want to be a mother. Being a parent is a personal choice. It always has been.5. reading is Fundamental6. society kills happiness7. getting married is a personal choice. Always has been.8. being in a relationship is a personal choice. Always has been.9. Getting married and/or having kids because everyone else is doing it. That’s like having sex because everyone else is doing it. You’ll just hate yourself—and probably, sadly, your spouse and kids—in the end.10. “Don’t judge a situation you’ve never been in” it’s important to be open minded to the way others live their lives and sometimes that requires putting yourself in their shoes11. speaking up against mistreatment of abuse, bullying, racism, sexism, homophobia isn’t !complaining, being over sensitive, or you having a victim mentality. Ignoring it won’t help. It will continue. Speak tf up ! Call out racism, sexism, homophobia, abuse, mistreatment. You are not a doormat! Be assertive!12. science is real13. Age has got nothing to do with breakups. if we men /women have to start to value ourselves more and give time and space without expectations. lots can change. All we need to do is to improve on our ourselves and learn to let go. Time and patience is key. If she or he is happy and enjoying his or her life without you, let it be. If she or he feels that life is better without you let it be.. that person was never meant to be and we all deserve someone who has courage to sustain us . We have to learn to VALUE ourselves and everything will fall into its place.14. church and state should be separated. Not into politics, women’s reproductive health, what the lgbt do. When we say Church and state needs to be separated, that doesn’t mean to take you’re right to religion away. (Let me explain it in another way so many can try to understand clearly.) It just meandecision, not yours. Your religious beliefs should not force people to live a certain way because of your beliefs. We all have beliefs or lack there of. The primary issue here is a person's sovereignty over their lives and over their bodies. It is not your concern and you are not an autocrat that dictates how people believe on’t put regulations, laws, you’re beliefs onto others that doesn’t apply to you as an individual.if you’re straight then the lgbt shouldn’t concern you because you’re straight. No one is forcing you to get married to the same sex. If you’re against birth control then don’t take any. No one is forcing you to take it. If you’re against abortion and not pregnant with a high risk pregnancy , then it shouldn’t concern you.15. Rape is never the victim’s fault16. Rape) “the penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”It is also rape when penetration takes place when you are drunk, high, drugged, passed out, or asleep and cannot give consent. People under the age of 18 (in most states) cannot give consent to sexual activity with an adult.Rape is a type of sexual assault that includes sexual penetration, no matter how slight, without consent. Although other types of sexual assault may be done by men or women, rape is almost always done by men.1 Most women who are raped are raped by someone they know, such as a former or current intimate partner, an acquaintance, or a family member.1another one know one really knows or discuss is reproductive coercion . A “behavior intended to maintain power and control in a relationship related to reproductive health”. Examples include sabotaging contraception, such as hiding or destroying birth control pills, purposely poking holes in a condom, removing a condom during sex, or not pulling out during intercourse as agreed upon; pressuring a partner to get pregnant when they don’t want to; and threatening violence if she doesn’t agree to comply with her partner’s wishes, whether it’s to terminate or carry the pregnancy. For some people in states whether it’s to terminate or carry the pregnancy. For some people in states with strict abortion laws, getting pregnant against their will could mean they're effectively forced to carry a pregnancy to term.Reproductive coercion is a form of intimate partner violence and can happen alongside other types of IPV.This is abuse and control.Reproductive control takes away a woman's self-worth, self-esteem, and ability to have control over her reproductive intentions, She is belittled and undermined.”Reproductive coercion can take the form of threats, physical violence, or emotional manipulation. In addition to nonconsensual condom removal, other examples include refusing to wear a condom, hiding your birth control pills, removing your IUD without your permission, persuading you to have a baby when you don’t want to, or guilting you into having an abortion when you don’t want one.17. What is NOT considered consent in sexual activity?Silence. Just because someone does not say “no” doesn’t mean she is saying “yes.”Having consented before. Just because someone said “yes” in the past does not mean she is saying “yes” now. Consent must be part of every sexual activity, every time.Being in a relationship. Being married, dating, or having sexual contact with someone before does not mean that there is consent now.Being drunk or high. Read more about alcohol, drugs, and sexual assault.Not fighting back. Not putting up a physical fight does not mean that there is consent.Sexy clothing, dancing, or flirting. What a woman or girl wears or how she behaves does not show consent for sexual activity. Only a verbal “yes” means “yes” to sexual activity.18.What’s consent?Sexual consent is an agreement to participate in a sexual activity. Before being sexual with someone, you need to know if they want to be sexual with you too. It’s also important to be honest with your partner about what you want and don’t want.Consenting and asking for consent are all about setting your personal boundaries and respecting those of your partner — and checking in if things aren’t clear. Both people must agree to sex — every single time — for it to be consensual.19. not all pregnancy is consensual though. Some pregnancy are due to rape and incest. It’s a shame that as society we say just don’t have sex , keep you’re legs closed. when rape is a real thing. Forced sex . we are so quick to assume that if we see a minor or an adult women that’s pregnant we assume, generalize them as being irresponsible, not wearing protection. It actually does hurt pregnant women and girls. And sometimes birth control does fail. We as society should think before we judge a pregnant person. And not act so entitled about their situation.20. crying is good for you. Crying is a good healing. Crying is normal and it does not mean you’re weak.21. wearing a mask and social distancing protects you and others from getting the virus22. You can't tell Jewish people what's anti-Semitic, just like nobody can tell Black people what's racist, just like you can't tell Gay people what's homophobic, just like you can't tell women what's sexist." Don’t be ignorant. Shush and Listen.23. If you’re not a racist, sexist, anti-Semitic or a homophobic then you should simply understand that when a topic is being addressed or someone is talking about an experience, it doesn’t apply to you! it’s just speaking out against those WHO!! Are like that.24. Being a virgin is normal, being sexually active is normal nor should be shamed, taboo. Being sexually active does not make you a hoe, fuckboy. Being a virgin does not make you boring, weak, broken. Many people are a virgin for different personal reasons. And Not just for the Christian way.25. dancing in a sensual way does not mean you a hoe. Have no respect for yourself. It’s about dancing, expressing yourself and having fun. I’m mean look at the 80s movie dancing dirty. The way she dances. It doesn’t make her a hoe. Again she’s just dancing, expressing herself and having fun. Oh and another thing about dancing in a sensual way , when you see guys twerk, it doesn’t mean that they are all gay. Don’t assume. There’s straight men that twerk, shake their hips. They too are just enjoy themselves by feeling their favorite song or a beat that’s grooving them. They too are just dancing and having fun. no need to be rolling the eyes.26.27.28. Balance in life is key29.30. Age is just a number. Relax there’s no manual on what age you are supposed to do. Sometimes it’s good to release your inner kid.to be beautiful means to be yourself. It does mean you go in the room thinking you’re better than them. That your superior. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself31.32.3334. Black women are human beings with human emotions just like everyone else. Especially anger. Their not just the strong black women trope. Things in life do hurt them(mistreatment, sexism, racism, homophobia, abuse, grief, stress) they are allowed to feel different emotions. Speaking up, expressing themselves or opinions does not make them just the angry black loud ghetto woman. They should be treated as equal with natural human emotions. And not just identify them with a only special label(loud, ghetto, the angry black women when dealing with things(mistreatment, sexism, racism, homophobia, abuse, grief and stress. There human beings just like everyone else.35. men are not weak when it comes to crying or showing emotions that upsets them in life(mistreatment, abuse, grief, stress, etc etc)They are human beings. Men are allowed to be feminine and it does not mean they are less of a man.36. Theres nothing wrong with being single. Being single is your choice. And shouldn’t be forced or rushed into a relationship. Everyone is single for different reasons.Remember that37. As an adult, as an individual every decision begins with you38.39.40. Never Beg41.42.43.44.45. Sometimes you need to stop seeing the good in people and start seeing what they show you46.also…47. Boundaries are you’re responsibility , you decide what isn’t allowed in your life.48.49.50.theres no such thing as a perfect family. Decent good parents argue too. To Have the expectations of what a family should do, behave is unrealistic. Every family isn’t perfect. Every family. And no I wasn’t talking about abusive, toxic family. I’m talking about decent families.51.52. Opinions are not facts53. if you’re helping someone and expecting something in return , you’re doing business Not kindness54. it is not your job to be everything to everyone.55. Time heals almost everything, give it time56.make peace with you’re past so it won’t disturb you’re future.57.58.59. If you don’t have a plan, you plan to fail60. We are all mad here61. The idea of blind spots….the idea of people around us are bound not to witness everything we experience. People around you may not notice all your feelings, they won’t be able to read your thoughts. Failing to acknowledge blind spots can warped into black and white thinking. That person is not your antagonist they are their own protagonist in their own life just as you are. They have flaws, weaknesses, and blindspots just like you have.62.64.65. “Everyone’s suicidal thoughts are different, and so are suicidal actions. Not all suicides are because of temporary problems. Stop generalizing. Please think before you speak. People like you never see what rally happens because they are to afraid. Open your eyes and see why people do. Stop thinking you know about the people who do it. And shaming or putting your religious beliefs into those who do it. You don’t! We all have reasons to cut or attempt suicide! It’s important Learn about mental illness, mental health and about suicide. It’s also about having an understanding, listening, acknowledgement.66. People don't understand that hard work doesn't pay the bills.Hard work doesn't get you a home at 21.Hard work doesn't get you a car at 19.Hard work doesn't put food on the table for a family of four.And if you go to school to get ahead you'll probably be in debt.there are things in life that play a role in life and how society is set up. (Example)sexism: men are paid more than womensystematic racism: whites are paid more than blacks and Hispanics67. When speaking up against racism, talking about racism..A lot of Americans and those in other countries will often say: 'Well we’re all human, we all have the same experience,' when we don’tJust because you don't understand something, or too lazy to research something, or don't agree with something that doesn't mean that that ' something' doesn't exist...68. “People are too sensitive nowadays”There’s a line between a joke and pure disrespect. They have a right to be offended. When disrespect is disguised as a joke, it’s a problem. Not everything is a joke.69. divorceThe church needs to have a honest conversations about divorce. And speak realistically about divorce. Keeping a marriage intact at the cost of the wellbeing of she or he does more Harm than good to society especially in abusive relationships. Sadly many in churches believe a divorced woman is a bad example. Divorce is never easy, no matter how mutual it can be. But happiness and peace should always be a priority.divorce, people are suffering, hanging on just for the sake of religion.if you have kids give them love and attention after divorce. bond with them. Talk and be honest to you’re kids/kid that just because “mommy and daddy are splitting up doesn’t mean we don’t love you” ”us splitting up has nothing to do with you” I ””understand that it’s hard but things are different. It’s not the end of the world “As you talking to them about the situation..As they grow up they will understand when they are adults.Kids are better off with separate happier parents than parents who are fighting every day. You end up snapping at them. Also if it’s an toxic marriage and theres kids involved, Kids will be affected worse if you stay in that marriage.Divorce is part of marriage. That’s the truth. Most churches don’t preach about it. But they should !we as society should not judge, shame who are or considering divorced. There’s different personal reasons why divorce is taken place. Not everything works out and that’s okay. there’s no formula to a perfect, all happy successful marriage.It’s we do our best.Why someone is getting a divorce or why is someone is divorced shouldn’t be anyone’s business unless she or he tells you why. we Adults should be respectful and have some understanding, opened mind and empathy.it also takes healing, recovery and self love too.70. BLM’s mission is to campaign against violence and systemic racism towards Black people and and other poc people across the world and in the USA.The organization regularly holds protests against police killings of Blacks people and addresses broader issues such as racial profiling, police brutality, and racial inequality in the United States criminal justice system.also…1. u do not get to tell black ppl they can’t be mad at the fact that theyre getting killed and treated horrible for the color of their skin.2. Racism is not a card. It’s a reality and it’s effects are real.“racial abuse is a very real problem.there are events that'll happen around us that are beyond our control”3.The race card was invented by ignorant folk to trivialize and dismiss valid criticisms of their micro aggressions and harmful insensitivity/fragility. Because the hate being called racist but not enough to stop BEING racist4. don’t victim blame blacks and poc for experiencing racism. Ask yourself this..Would you blame a woman who was a victim of domestic abuse?no?Would blame a Muslim who was a victim of Islamophobia?No?Would you blame a jew who was a victim of antisemitism?No?…..don’t blame people who experience crap from other people. Somethings are out of their control.5. And how would you know how it feels for a black person, when being subjected to the amount of racism?also…Do you realize that if the BLM movement succeeds in decreasing police brutality that we all benefit from that?black people are MORE threatened than any other race. Not the ONLY one. You’re misunderstanding. But we all win if there is change.that’s a fact not a opinion.“ please use google if you don’t know what racial profiling, the BLM, racial inequality or what police brutality is”because people and sometimes the media spreads misinformation, lies about the BLM and it’s not helping. It’s causing confusion and questioning in the wrong way.the BLM is a human right.the Feminist movement across the world and in the USA was to fight for reproductive health rights, fight against sexism, fight against rape culture, injustice (violence against women and girls) or also known as Femicide. “ please use google if you don’t know what Femicide ,toxic masculinity or sexism is”the feminist movement also fights for equality (example) men and women getting equal pay, getting justice for rape/sexual assault victims, fighting against toxic masculinity. Equality ( fighting for women, women of color on women issues (again) reproductive health rights, etc.the feminist movement is a human rightthe gay pride movement and the lgbtq movement fight against gender discrimination, domestic violence in the lgbtq community, violence against black trans, tans, gays and lgbtq in general. The lgbtq movement fights to keep same sex marriage legal. The lgbtq movement fights to stop shame on who they are and spread awareness on the effects of social stigma.the lgbtq movement is a human rightAgain!!and please be aware that people and sometimes the media spread misinformation, lies, hate, gaslight these movements. And it’s extremely important to do research and check fact. Also google is free. Use it!We will not shape the movement to fit the narrative YOU would like to see carried out because that does nothing for us in the long run. Changing our narrative will not help us dismantle the systems of oppression. This is not about you.These movements are a human right not political.shush and listen to black voices, poc voices , women, women of color and those who identify themselves in the lgbtq without the whataboutism crap or use tactics to take away from the these movements.as a society we need to be opened minded. Not be complicit and just listen. We need to do better as a society and use human decency, use our privileges to help those who are in need in a crisis. just because you never experience or know what was being said and done does not mean it doesn’t happen. It doesn’t exist. Or we are equal.I don’t think asking activists to change how they word their demands is the solution.they hijack the message and make it about patriotism or something else unrelated. For folks to call it out is a bridge too far.Even more evidence to be direct on concise in your efforts. Having to explain anything is an disadvantage to the cause. I see what you’re saying but it’s proven, repeatedly, the need for sharp, pointed, and direct messaging.“when you are part of a targeted group, where your loved ones can be randomly taken from you by violent racists, with all the world watching and letting it continue year after year, you might feel differently.”“Civility is a weapon used by the comfortable.”71. “Y'all gon learn one day or tomorrow “I hate to hear people who pretend racism is only in a black persons head. Not all people have Emmanuel’s experience. Also racism isn’t just a liberal thing . what are a lot conservatives doing?? I don’t see Republican presidents getting rid of public aid. Also, it’s more than just going to school making good grades, racism is permeated thru all threads of society. Someone mentioned about Asians working hard, well there are many people who are law abiding, go to work and still get harassed by police, charged more in insurance rates, pay more in rent, charged higher interest rates on purchases. These are facts that have been brought to light numerous times to the public, but people like you walk around saying those same tired lines… if blacks would just be an American, work hard; it’s not that simple buddy. It doesn’t f*@*ing matter how hard you do your best. you can be a poor black, a middle class, or wealthy (Oprah) with a decent job, doing what you’re supposed to do to survive in life. Be successful.you can be a black person with a medical degree, an artist, dancer, athlete and…still, still, still be racial profiled , harassed because of the color of your skin, be perceived as the typical stereotypical black person, a criminal. Less human, denied . Accused of a crime you know damn well you didn’t commit. Just all this trying bs.you can’t just ignore it. It’s there!!you’ve seen the cluck ness on the videos on social media. You hear the stories of “your “ black friends, black spouse or family member or even your black colleagues of how much bull crap they have to endure.You hear about the mistreatment towards blacks in history class (I hope you were paying attention or even taught in history class) a lot of them ain’t making sh** up. Black people don’t have to please you just so their experiences can fit the narrative you would like to see . It’s not about you!72. did you know?Hispanic/Latino culture is European culture. They are an offshot of europeanism. They have no connection to Africa.