Lions Invitation Latter: Fill & Download for Free

'I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion'. -- Alexander the GreatEverything about Sir Alex and his management techniques deserves to be lauded. To manage for 25 years at the top is truly remarkable, and that too at a club like Manchester United where you're expected to win trophies every year stands him out as the greatest of all time. Some of his qualities are often understated, but have gone a long way into making United a successful team.Superior man-managementIn terms of management, one major reason behind his success is his ability to make every member of the squad feel important. Each and every member of the United squad - irrespective of whether he's in the starting team or not - feels involved in the club's title quest. He is able to make every player play for him. This unity enables him to build very good squads that can challenge for trophies on all three fronts. Have you ever seen a Man United player complain for being on the bench? Unlikely.Recognizing and nurturing talentOne more reason he's at the top for so long is his ability to recognize talented young players and trust them. It is one thing to sign talented players, but to make them reach their potential is no easy task. Be it the class of '92, Cristiano Ronaldo, and most recently with Rafael, Welbeck, and Cleverley. There is not a manager who comes close to Ferguson when it comes to breeding talent.AdaptabiityThis remains one of the main reasons why he has outlasted them all. He changes tactics as the situation demands. He does not rest on his laurels. Always looking for the next challenge, and never afraid to break a tried and tested approach. Some managers are simply tuned to succeed in one area of football more than others, and faced with a foreign challenge, it becomes clear where exactly the holes lie. However, very few have the ambiguity and flexibility to perform well under the pressure of many threats. Sir Alex belongs to the latter.Respecting your opponentsWhen faced with a defeat he is the first to accept responsibility, but also praises the opposition. He's not afraid of saying his team have been outplayed on the night. Very few mangers do this in my opinion. He is dignified in defeat.“You would have thought we had won the World Cup,” said Mourinho. “And then there was a knock on the door. It was Alex, with Gary Neville. As they came in, everybody fell silent, respectful. The party stopped. The party was over. And, as Gary Neville went round shaking hands with my players, Alex shook hands with me and said that, after the press conference, I was invited to come to his office for a drink. What a special person it was, I thought, who would do anything to win but, if he lost, still do that. At that moment I made a decision. It was that, if I ever came to England, I would follow this example.”

Old Gods do new jobs.These days we are very highly educated, don’t y’ know. On paper, at least. People proudly declare that they are atheists, and are ruled by science alone, when in fact the mathematics of the fact that this rock teems with life are so absurdly against the odds that it makes the intervention of some sort of divine hand seem more likely than less, and that is ignored, and instead of celestial divine beings they place their belief in little green men in flying saucers instead, because at heart we are all superstitious peasants circa 1386.Yes you are. I don’t care how rational you think you are. You’re a bloody peasant who clings to old beliefs and superstitions like the squirrel outside is clinging to a peanut. Everybody is.Oh, you don’t believe me, eh? Well, look at the Brexit thing. One side takes the word of the economists who have extrapolated from the currently available data and waves it round like a crucifix whilst the other takes the word of more economists who have extrapolated from the same data and come to a different conclusion and treats them like a rosary. And this is despite the fact that the data is probably bollocks to start with and when you extrapolate from even good data, unless what you’re extrapolating is a physical constant where y is a function of x then the extrapolations you do are in fact bollocks as well, and what you therefore end up with is bollocks squared. Which is different from square bollocks. If you have ended up with the latter, I beseech you to seek medical advice urgently, because even with extrapolations taken into account, square bollocks is just not right. Although it will most probably get you invited to many parties.What was the question? Oh, yes. Because you are a peasant circa 1386 masquerading as a sophisticated and “woke” person from 2020, you eschew the idea of gods and yet still your peasant-from-1386 mind has a hole in it which says “higher beings- what a good idea!” and that hole is filled with these things:Oh for feck’s sake. Look, that thing’s eyes are completely black. If you look at your own, the bit that actually lets light in is the pupil. The bit that surrounds that is the iris. In bright light, the iris expands and the pupil contracts to control the light let in. It stops your optical system getting overloaded. This thing has eyes so big and with no iris that as soon as he hits Skegness beach in August he’s going to be bloody blind. Even if it is raining, always the likelihood in Skegness in August. That sea gets regularly topped up with fish-juice.If you don’t believe in gods or aliens it’ll be something else. A political ideology. A moral philosophy dreamed up one day by somebody who you now revere. A scientific postulation that you don’t actually understand and have misinterpreted.Because peasant you needs to believe there is something better out there than you. For some that’s Xyrfgg and Sbsqtch in their flying saucer. It doesn’t matter that the evidence isn’t there, it’s a gospel. And you’re clinging to that gospel through thick and thin.I’m going to look such a twat if Xyrfgg and Sbsqtch do land their flying saucer in Trafalgar Square this afternoon and start taking pictures of each other sitting on the lions now, aren’t I?Never mind. In the unlikely event of that happening, I have a get out.I’ll blame the EU.

***Opinion piece — personal experience only, no statistics implied***As an immigrant who came here as a teenager (late middle school) in the late 90s, here are a few “odd” customs that seem obvious to every “true born” American but plain odd to me as a naturalized one (note that odd does not equate to wrong, just something that didn’t seem very obvious to me; this is in no way intended to bash or offend, merely a reflection of my own culture shock when I first came and things I had to adjust to mentally as normal, regular or accepted):Eating popcorn is strongly associated with a movie going experience — must be a marketing propaganda working very effectively. Admittedly, I’ve too come to associate the taste of popcorn with the movies (or some performing art event even if it’s not the movies)People go to the “ball park” for recreation — i.e. to watch baseball games. It was an odd choice for me. I grew up going to the theater. I have found again and again going to the symphony, for example, that the median age is well above 60 — yet this is something that seemed very normal to do where I am from in Eastern Europe for families.Hot dogs and beer — this goes hand in hand with the ball park — this is apparently a nearly religious level, untouchable experience / tradition that cannot be broken or challengedSuperbowl — every February, everyone glues themselves to TV screens at the bars or at home (which must be a party occasion) to watch this very American version of football, a sport unknown elsewhere. People bet money on winning teams, and commercial brands everywhere shell out top dollar to attract highest level television audiences for a whole year for this most watched televised event of the year (exceeding audiences for the Olympics when they air)National days of just about anything — there is a national ice cream day and a national sibling day, for example. These aren’t official holidays but yet great opportunities for marketing (someone call Hallmark). And they seem to grow, with new ones added every year. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that we’ll soon have national days every single day, with multiple occasions, and you’ll have to pick whether to celebrate your sibling or, say, a cat day (perhaps get your sibling to hold your cat for a photo?)Christmas cards / photos and gift exchange frenzy. People go out of their way to mail you a photo of themselves and their pet / new child etc., even if you are completely unrelated to them (and probably don’t care all that much, let’s be very honest). People take decorating their house and yard (if any) for holiday occasion very seriously. Lights are taken down and trees removed immediately following the New Year, sometimes even before. Christmas music heard sometimes a month in advance of the holiday in many commercial dwelling spaces such as restaurants and shopping malls.Offices and cubicles decorated with a lot of personal paraphernalia such as photos of babiesPeople dressing their petsPeople name wild animals, e.g. someone has a pet fish / tarantula named Jack or there is a lion named John at the zooPink and blue. I had no idea before, - -I suppose, it’s another aftermath of a highly successful marketing phenomenon I refer to as “Disney culture” — but my own culture shock was the realization that there is a fairly acknowledged concept of gendered colors. I still prefer dark colors personally, e.g. dark green / brown, but find it tricky to shop for such colors at a minimum for girls (adult styles are much more neutral). It doesn’t end with clothes — bicycles, gear, everything MUST be pink, or somehow your child is no longer considered girly. Very odd.Bathing suits /bikinis on little girls — in the old world, all the little kids just ran around the beach bare, and there was no distinction in swimwear for girls vs. boys until adolescenceBoy-only and girl-only schools (vs. coed), there is even a YMCA and a different YWCA (and of course a JCC). ***nowadays, the gender / religious affiliation are not required to join***This one is strictly in comparison with the former USSR, but I found it odd that the schoolchildren would not stand up to greet their teachers upon entering - this was a sign of respect in the old country. Also, no uniforms and everyone wears something different daily, and it’s considered nearly unsanitary to appear wearing the same outfit 2 days in a rowReciting the pledge of allegiance to the Flag in public school dailySchool busesSpeaking in second person when discussing arbitrary situations, i.e., “You can’t just cross the street without a crosswalk, that would be jaywalking”. (More natural would have been a passive third person, i.e. “One oughtn’t…”Thanksgiving and Christmas are public holidays, but there is freedom of religion and separation of church and state (presumably). (Who or what are we giving thanks to?)JournalingIn middle school, I found it odd to have assignments on freeform writing on topics such as “What am I grateful for today”. I was used to much more either analytical writing pieces on literature or hard science.CheerleadingNerds, jocks, bulliesFraternities and sororities, initiation ritualsOnly having about 6 subjects a year in school, and classes would repeat daily. (In comparison, in Eastern Europe, even middle school curriculum would consist of about 22 courses, which would be offered about twice a week with the exception of mathematics, which was 6 hours a week in my class with intensive physics and mathematics focus)Lack of cursiveToilets — the facilities — are called bathrooms or restrooms; the actual basin is the toilet here.People sit on public toiletsNo permanent circus arts except in Las Vegas, “the entertainment capital”; traveling troupes are much more common, with visiting tours in big citiesNo global musical scene, with the exception of other English speaking countries. No one would know popular Italian, French or Russian artists unless they happen to be hobbyists or in the tradeDriving is allowed at 16 and even 15 with a parentGiant backyards, stairs inside houses, basements and attics, multiple bathrooms in a single family homeThe existence and appeal of suburbiaPeople caring about politicians’ personal lives, family etc. No one in the old country cared or often knew even the names of a politician’s spouse, much less care about someone’s lifestyle behind closed doors. That said, seeing / hearing a politician speak on the radio or TV was a daily occurrence where I was from, but here it’s only on a few select stations.Media / TV stations change from city to cityGun laws — another untouchable, near riot-worthy topicFreedom of speech taken to every level right or wrongHighway country and lack of central transitStates have nearly independent authority on everythingDriver licenses are much more ubiquitous than passportsLandscaping (ie the requirement to trim the bushes on your property)Political correctness (which nearly repeals the aforementioned freedom of speech)Obvious instructions existing solely for legal reasons, i.e. instructions on hair dryers stating “not for internal use”Existence of a return policy on most purchased items. Receipts given for everything (or offered)Lack of public telephones, especially since the widespread use of mobile phones, even at international hubs such as airports, where they still exist but sparinglyCollect calls and toll phone numbers. There is an 800- number for everything.State capitals may not coincide with a culturally or socially popular city. E.g., the capital city of the state of California is Sacramento, not San Francisco or Los Angeles, possibly its best known cities. New York City is not the capital of New York State.Tips for customary service, such as restaurants, on top of the listed menu priceBargaining at retail is typically unusual, unless you are at a place like a “flea market”. The label price tag is the final non-negotiable price. Sales prices are determined by the retailer / owner. The exception to this is things that are sold person to person, such as a car, where a lot of back and forth negotiating may happen; and real property where there is a whole complicated system of offering and counter-offering that’s fairly expected. Business negotiations of course are a whole other concept too.Grocery store baggers, shopping carts, spaces for shopping carts, escalators for shopping carts (the latter I've only seen in Seattle)Size and prevalence of (painted/designated) parking lotsThe sheer variety of flavors of everything; probably 17 different brands or names for the same (or similar) thing, yogurt that comes in colors and flavors, many different kinds of marinara sauce etc. Free markets, at its bestWeddings are planned for a year, sometimes years. People stay engaged for years.Baby showers (i.e. throwing a party in anticipation of a not-yet-born baby, largely to collect gifts / well wishes and celebrate with close friends and family)Planning one’s own funeral or discussing funeral plans with one’s relatives, buying a future burial plot of land for oneself or a loved oneHalloweenHallmark cards, birthday cakes for adults (complete with birthday cake candles), packaged gifts for adults (wrapping paper and all)Pension plans can be / frequently are invested in the volatile stock market. Government pension (social security) paid around age 80 if you were born after 1980, while the median life span is around 69–72Asking one’s age or income, or even a price paid on a house is considered taboo, but asking where someone is from is commonplace (at least in my experience as a person with a noticeable “foreign” accent)Strangers smile at you for no apparent reason other than to appear friendlyFormal invitations are sent to even closest family members for formal occasions (e.g. weddings, anniversaries, graduations)It is impolite to come to someone’s house without a formal invitation in advance, even for neighbors, close friends or family. At the same time, people often show up completely empty handed to a party or dinnerNo slippers / bathrobes worn in the house, usually full outfits and even shoes (this one I’m unsure about still). Pants / shorts worn as sleepwear. Pajamas / undergarments worn outside at school dorms in cafeterias, sometimes even out and about by teenagersSmoking bans in most indoor spacesPornography is legal (and highly lucrative)“Pot” (marijuana) is legal in numerous states(This gem might be unique to Seattle) People coming to the planetarium to get high, not to, say, learn about the planetsGraduating from high school is a very big deal and a pride factor for manyDisneyland as a must visit destinationThe concept of “projects” (low income housing buildings, sections, or whole neighborhoods — modern day “ghettoes”)Widespread homelessness and begging in the large cities, abandoned looking, urine infested subway stations in major central hubs of large cities (where they even exist)Traffic lights are different for pedestrians than for drivers, and the sequence is red back to green, skipping yellow on the change from redRoad signs are labeled with words, not assumed to be understoodThe mall is a favorite pastime (literally, way to pass time) for kids / families — besides the ball park, of coursePhotographing or videotaping live human birth, handing out ultrasound film to family members (or posting it to social media) ahead of a birth, and having the father heavily involved in the birthing process including cutting the umbilical cord (in the old country, men would have been strictly forbidden from the room, if nothing else, for sanitary reasons)Spelling words one letter at a time and spelling contests (called spelling bees), which reward correct writing. However, no dictation tests are givenTests are scored based on multiple choices. Open ended exams are highly uncommon (except in advanced placement courses in high school — considered college level and earned for college credit), and verbal exams or proofs are nearly nonexistentKids are taught to do “whatever makes them happy”, with little regard for consequence or poor choices. Learning from mistakes is considered a great merit.College students are considered and called colloquially college “kids”. They may remain on their parents’ health insurance up until age 26 as a dependent. Legal age / being of adult age is considered 21, but age to give consensus to a romantic relationship ranges from 16–18 by state. However, persons age 18 (considered to have reached adulthood in most places around the world) are able to leave the home to go to college, though most will continue to depend on the parents for support for many more years — but it’s customary to separate from the parents to go to college or as a sign of having gained independence. Alcohol consumption is restricted until age 21, even in the presence of parents, and parents can get in a lot of trouble for allowing it. In the meantime, college drinking / binge parties and overdosing are commonplace.Sports team jersey merchandiseTardiness at school gets you detention (requirement to stay after school, but not to make up class; simply as a punishment / lockdown for the infraction). Multiple such detentions can grant you suspension, which, ironically, keeps you out of schoolHomerooms — schoolchildren gather in a room 15–30 minutes before class starts. That’s it, they gather for order and roll call. There is no lecture, instruction, or class.At school, there are class times just to “study” called “study hall” with no instructionHigh school proms (formal dances), with all of the hoopla and the surrounding social pressures; sweet 16’s; graduating at the end of elementary school, middle school, etc., the tradition of throwing caps in the air at graduation.People loudly cheering in stadiums at performances, speech acceptances, etc., especially if it’s someone they know personallyA formal wedding ceremony is required to legalize a marriage license in many states, ie it’s not sufficient to have a marriage certificate issued by a city / state official. A ceremony may involve saying vows, witnesses, and it’s not just a formality but an actual requirement.In courts of law (including for example the naturalization ceremony, or a jury duty), you are required to take an oath to tell the truth that ends with “so help me god”Jury duty: anyone 18 and older who is a citizen is required to participate in the randomly selected civic jury duty, which is to say, to sit in on a trial if required. It is a great honor and a way to participate in the system.Politicians openly accept campaign donations; mud slinging to berate opponents running for office is widely acceptedMilitary draft is not mandatory, and people are paid to serve in the militarySitting on the floor / carpetPutting food plates on the floor (such as in an auditorium)Standing seats in concertsNo feral animals seen on the streetsPeople cannot understand the metric systemPeople set aside savings, buy investments, buy expensive vacations, but claim they have no disposable money (i.e. no cash) — this took a long time to comprehend in social situations. Cash in general, in large sums (let’s say above $100) is suspicious. You’ll be questioned (literally or figuratively) for either money laundering or simply assumed to be filthy rich because you have a $100 bill. At the same time, people sell vehicles for cash everyday. Something somewhere is still missing in that one.People will warn you about reporting you for things like speeding, and then go ahead and do it — right in front of youHonkingMany topics are considered taboo because of possibility of lawsuit for slander or offense (see “political correctness”) or worse. The legal system is full of precedents that set forth a new norm, erring on the side of caution and sometimes absurdity around the degree of the fear of risk. While Americans on average are considered a generous people, with many offering help to charity through monetary contributions, gestures of actual, physical help can be met with suspicion and as a threat. One bus driver refused to help an old lady, clearly struggling, come up some steep steps — something most Europeans would have done without thinking. When I directly asked him, why, he said, “Lady, I don’t want to be sued for improper touching.”Airline staff will not help with bags, likely due to liabilityEvery kind of insurance: car insurance, home insurance, disability insurance, even life insurance (for when you’re… dead)Mass produced food is the only known variant. There is no concept of truly fresh produce, dairy, meat or freshly baked bread unless you are lucky enough to be close to a farmFoods I hadn’t seen or heard of previously: peanut butter, donuts, salsa. Pairings of bread with everything but butter: i.e. jam, and said peanut butter. Peanut butter and jelly is a staple. Salads are “dressed” with a variety of mixtures. (We only had the concept of sour cream, mayonnaise or oil as a dressing.)Obsessions with diets: low-fat, low-carb, Atkins, lactose free, gluten free, etc. At the same time, everything or nearly everything is overstuffed with preservatives, chemicals, and hormones for longevityAllergies to everything: food allergies, drug allergies. People knowing what allergies they have. Runny nose usually indicates allergy, not necessarily a cold (apparently)The idea of raw milk scares most people. How _did_ all those other humans survive this whole time?Mushrooms have a funny connotation, not the marinated kind your grandma made. Nobody goes berry picking unless you’re on a special farm and it’s a tourist activity.Soups taste like gravy and aren’t purely liquidSauce or condiments are paired with everything, and meats and cheeses are sandwiched in buns. Hot dogs must be on buns, or else you’re having a frank / sausage (which apparently are different, somehow)People frown on eating organs of poultry etc. That stuff is fed to the pigs.Tea is considered a British or oriental tradition. There are tea places but many cafes will only offer generic tea bag options or none at all, but high selections of coffeeChain restaurants, malls, department stores, specialty stores that look identical. Every suburban town has the same or nearly identical setup inside a mallPlastic and paper packaging is literally on everything. Nutrition labels are required on most packaged foods.The size of grocery storesAvailability of out of season fresh fruit year round (imported)Ice cream is a very underwhelning grocery store item available year-round in all sizes and flavors (but tasting overly sweet for European taste)Companies are religious about customer service. Companies go out of business for claims of poor customer service.A Chinatown in every large cityPeople recycle, and compost organic garbage / yard wasteThese expressions have specific connotations / associations: “going for a coffee” — usually a formal meeting such as with a business acquaintance, to get to know them or gather information, whether or not coffee is involved; “going out” = either dating someone (romantically) or going to a party or social gathering, depending on context in the way it is used; “going up”/ inviting someone up: an invitation for romantic contact at the end of a datePrevalence of cursing as accepted lexicon on TV (censored or not) as well as in comedy, while nudity is tabooHumor aimed at one’s family and parents in standup comedy, humor about farting. Acceptance of public farting in general, when you're an adult, particularly in gatherings of males in watching football or similar activitiesLaughter and choppy diction in local news anchor delivery (would be grounds to be fired in the old country)People smile on their state issued IDGangsta rap culture / subculturePrevalence of Spanish language TV and options (to accommodate huge and rapidly growing Hispanic immigrant and descendant population)Salesmen that come to your house, the whole home shopping business, and telemarketingMeasuring cities by blocksBuilt-in closetsJoint bath and toilet roomThere are probably many, many more that merely can’t come to the mind at the moment.