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Every morning, a man wakes up. He makes the world’s best omelette, but his children are still asleep. He leaves, seven o’clock sharp, to drive an hour and a half to a workplace that he hates. As soon as he’s off one job, he’s right at another, working until it’s almost midnight. The long hours have taken their toll.He comes home. His children are already in bed, asleep. Their baseball games and karate tournaments and dance recitals are long since over, and the best he can do is watch a phone video his wife saved. What he wants more than anything in the world is to see his children, to cook them huge fanciful meals, to kiss them goodnight, but all of that is just a dream.He eats a bland dinner his wife set out for him, long since gone cold, helps her clean up, and collapses, exhausted, tired, frustrated, next to her in bed.Every morning, a woman wakes up. She needs to make a breakfast, and wake the kids.She takes them to school, and then she buys groceries and changes sheets and vacuums the floor.The whole time, she daydreams of putting her lofty degree to use, working as an engineer to change the world, but the companies she sends her impressive resume to still give her offers of ludicrously low. The men interviewing her barely glance at her credentials, instead asking her if she’s married, and if she would even work hard enough with children.“You’re just going to leave when you have another child, so why bother?” they say with a sneer.She’s more than aware that her husband wants to quit, to take care of the kids, but they didn’t offer enough to pay the kids through college. Not even close. She can’t take that job.She ferries children to and fro, one soccer game, two dance recitals, and a Karate tournament. By the time she’s home, her feet and back hurt, but she still has a dinner to make. She was never a great cook, never wanted to learn, but the kids need to eat.After dinner, and homework, she tucks the little ones into bed, kisses them goodnight.Her husband comes home, and the two of them silently do the dishes.That’s the dreary world they live in.Now imagine a world where the husband can care for his kids, where he’s not required to be a breadwinner. Where he can work one job and come home in time to watch their baseball games and karate tournaments and dance recitals, cook them delicious meals, and tuck them into bed.That’s not possible unless the wife can get a fairly compensated job as an engineer, where she can chase her ambition of changing the world and pay her kids through college at the same time.Without feminism, we waste so much human potential. Everyone is connected by our society; everyone benefits greatly when women can contribute to their fullest.

It is the most active of any country in the world.That may seem very strange and contradictory until you look at their laws:Yes, homosexual activity is illegal, but even worse is any association of males and females outside of marriage.In the case of mixed company of male and female, we’re talking about casual acquaintances. A chance conversation on the street. ANY sort of “date” or planned meeting. They may not sit on the same park bench. They may not even enter a restaurant through the same door. These things will get the man thrown in prison and the woman potentially beaten to death. Men CAN NOT socialize with women. Women dare not even leave their homes unescorted.So, what do men do? They are forced to socialize with other men. It is common for men to “hang out” together. Young men will often rent a hotel room, or even have their own private apartment just to hang out and play video games or watch soccer games BECAUSE they can not bring other men into their home where they might see their mother or sister!The forced association only with other males inevitably causes greater levels of intimacy. No one questions two males going to a hotel room together. The net of it is that many times this leads to gay relationships. It happens far more often than in other cultures.It’s all OK as long as they keep it under the sheets….UPDATE: It’s fairly amusing to see some Saudis rush to defend Saudi Arabia as NOT having any homosexuals, or not having any harsh penalties if you are caught breaking their Sharia laws. To be expected, I suppose…The reality is that if you are caught in a homosexual act, you are beheaded then hanged.Photo is obviously from a more liberal Islamic state, where they torture first, then hang and behead last.UPDATE: Incredibly, most comments are about my joke that they are beheaded then hanged. Get a life, people!!!

We never wanted children. Forty-one years ago that was a very unusual decision to make for two young kids. Everyone got married to have children. It was "expected" of you. It's hard to imagine but women had a lot fewer choices then. Honestly, my mother ironed my dad's boxer shorts. And all of our sheets and his handkerchiefs, it was expected of her. As her daughter, having two children was expected of me.When my dad sent me to college I was standing near him when he was talking to his friends about this and he told them that he was sending me to school to get my "MRS" degree. A doctor, a dentist, a lawyer, or an accountant, two children, a membership in the temple, a teaching job so that I could spend the summers with my kids, that was what my world would look like, it was expected of me.I finished college, moved 3000 miles away from home to the West Coast and never looked back. I fell in love with a man who let me entertain the revolutionary idea in 1970 that I could have a career, a marriage and no children. Fancy that.Figuratively my mom put black cloths on the mirrors and went into mourning. Every day the long distance phone calls, and back then you had to pay by the minute, "So, already?" Mom, it's not going to happen. "You'll change your mind." No mom, I won't. Thankfully 10 years later my brother stepped up to plate with two, the pressure was off.What is it like not having children? In my thirties I had my tubes tied. Freedom. In my forties, my career, traveling for business, his career, traveling for his business, a decade of rushes.In my fifties our friends' children started having life events. Weddings, bar mitzvahs, graduations. And I felt so happy for them. I had known these kids from birth and on those days I wondered if we had made a bad decision. But when I thought about what it took to get there, the diapers, the soccer games, the braces, the tantrums, the whole enchilada, I knew that it wasn't for me. I knew that I had made the right choice. I wasn't "made" to be a mother. I had spared a child from having to have me as one.Still, I dreaded the moment when I met someone new. "Do you have kids?" I thought that I could read pity or something that closed them off from me. She's not one of us. Poor thing. No children. Is it her or him? I would always rush to fill in that space with "we never wanted any" and somehow that made it so much worse. Selfish, not doing her part. I'm not sure what my part was, but I had my MRS degree and obviously I wasn't using it. At least according to them. The "them" that had children. Remember this was another decade or so in the past.Now I get the question, "Do you have grandchildren." No. Then we have to go through the "Your children aren't married?" Or your children are married but don't have children yet." No, we don't have children. The reaction is worse in my 60's because now it's not, "oh, she was too selfish to have children", or "gee, if only there'd been IVF back then"; now it's "Oh, poor thing, who will look after her when she gets old?"Six months ago a friend asked me if I regretted not having children and it was like a great dam bursting from the bottom of my soul and I said "yes, yes, it was the biggest mistake of my life!" There it was. The secret wrenched from my gut. Or so it seemed. I do regret it in some ways. We would have been good parents. We wouldn't have screwed up the kids as badly as we thought we would have. Maybe they only would have needed 5 years of therapy and not 10. We'll never know. But, after I had finally wrung these words from the depths of my being, I understood clearly that indeed it wasn't meant to be for me, and that my life was much better for having made this choice.We've always had 2 or 3 dogs at a time and they've had our love, attention and affection. They're spoiled rotten. Better dogs than children. We have been able to go to a lot interesting places and we've gone with friends who have kids. I don't think these things are mutually exclusive.I know that we've missed out on a lot. I just wasn't ready to take the good with the bad. By bad, for example, I mean the screaming kid in the restaurant. I have no patience for that. Oh, but when it's yours, you don't mind; oh, but I knew it would and even today that noise drives me crazy, I just don't have patience for it. Or for kicking the table or for banging on it... I would not have been the kind of nurturing mother who could deal with that.OPC. Other People's Children. Rent not buy. I have the best of both worlds, a long term-care policy, a retirement fund and a deal with a loving niece - who will make sure that I'm in a nice place that doesn't rip me off and takes care of me, if it comes to that. She'll get the trust. Everyone wins. We love her. She loves us. We trust her.That's what it's like for me to be married and not have children.