Unit Topic Reading Content Unit 6 Poetry Grade 1 Date: Fill & Download for Free

Who says it’s the “best university in the world?”I’m sure many graduates of the school might think this, but have you gone to New Haven, Connecticut? I’ll bet you there are a few folks there who might disagree. A good number of folks in the former Palo Alto and now Stanford, CA might also have some thoughts to the contrary.On the other side of the Pacific, you might want to ask someone in Seoul or families there or throughout Korea who sacrificed their lives to get their kids into Seoul National. How about the folks over in either Oxford or Cambridge, England. I’m thinking they wouldn’t mind debating you on this question? Or lastly, maybe even the millions of people who have done everything they can to get into the top University in mainland China. I’ve made the argument that the admission rates for Peking University & Seoul National are much more challenging to obtain admissions.But I do agree there is a distinct perception that buttresses the notion that ‘Harvard’ is the best academic institution these days in the world.Why?These are my top 4 reasons I believe people “believe” it’s the best collegiate opportunity:It’s considered the first university in the U.S. Given this perception and/or fact, it has the longest history of any school to maintain or enhance its image as the top University. Basically, it was first. Many organizations and other early stage anything had the “edge” and it appears Harvard’s done many things to keep it there.The Internet buttressed this even more since 1993. While Oxford (1096) and Cambridge (1209) are older, Harvard has the support of the country that basically made the Internet popular. And the U.S. continues to be the largest presence in terms of companies and organizations that promulgate this potential belief that it’s the best. Unversities in Europe may be older, but the “best” university in the world’s largest economy supports this “top university” notion. Having the support of American companies helps change history.Eight Presidents of the United States have graduated from Harvard University: John Adams, John Quincy Adams, Rutherford B. Hayes, John F. Kennedy, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Theodore Roosevelt, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama.Many CEO’s of top organizations have graduated from Harvard including: Lloyd C. Blankfein, Goldman Sachs Group, Michael A. Brown, Symantec , Michael L. Corbat, Citigroup, Roger W. Ferguson Jr., TIAA, John B. Hess, Hess, Kendall J. Powell, General Mills, James L. Robo, NextEra Energy, Carlos A. Rodriguez, ADP, Ronald L. Sargent, Staples, John L. Walsh, UGI. And two famous drop outs (who also became two of the richest in all history) started at Harvard, Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg definitely chose the Crimson as their college of choice.—For further support, here are some of the answers I like to questions very similar to this before:Why is Harvard considered the best? - contributions by Deborah Elizabeth Finn & Woody Hancock stood out for me.How is Harvard the best university in the world? What was the best before Harvard?Funny enough, I failed to realize I wrote an answer in here a while back. I was reading it and thought, “What a great answer…” and then realized it was me. I know this sounds conceded, but maybe there are people who think alike and they are just us, but in a different time. :)Here are some of the details that add to my answer above:How about for starters the place where two of the richest people alive dropped out from?Ok, if that's not good enough, how about the place our most recent president graduated from? (And his wife, the flotus).Being the first institution of higher learning (in the United States) back in 1636, it had a head start on the rest of the colleges and universities that would follow suit. Being such, it could recruit the best professors, the best admin and frankly, the best students as well.From then, it has gone on to have the following amazing people build their brand even more:T. S. Eliot, Poet; Nobel Prize in Literature winner (1948)John F. Kennedy, U.S. PresidentMasako, Crown Princess of Japan, Consort of Crown Prince Naruhito, the first son of Emperor Akihito and Empress Michiko; member of the Imperial House of Japan through marriageKenneth Chenault, CEO of American ExpressDavid Rockefeller, Banker; philanthropist; Chairman of Chase Manhattan BankBan Ki-moon, Secretary-General of the United Nationsand these are just a handful of the many others including:Harvard's alumni includeeight U.S. presidents,several foreign heads of state,62 living billionaires,335 Rhodes Scholars,242 Marshall Scholars,150 Nobel laureates,18 Fields Medalistsand 13 Turing Award winners have been affiliated as students, faculty, or staff.Harvard's $37.6 billion financial endowment is the largest of any academic institutionIt operates several arts, cultural, and scientific museums, alongside the Harvard Library, which is the world's largest academic and private library system, comprising 79 individual libraries with over 18 million volumes.Source: Harvard UniversityThe Harvard University page has even more details about their “amazing library”:The Harvard Library—the largest academic library in the world—includes 20.4 million volumes, 180,000 serial titles, an estimated 400 million manuscript items, 10 million photographs, 124 million archived web pages, and 5.4 terabytes of born-digital archives and manuscripts. Access to this rich collection is provided by nearly 800 library staff members who operate more than 70 separate library units.It has the 2nd lowest admissions rate in the United States behind Stanford (and possibly in the world, if you just count what is reported).Supposedly they’re generous to their students:…generous financial aid program, with over $160 million awarded to more than 60% of our undergraduate students.An argument could be made for their online initiatives like:HarvardX is a University-wide strategic initiative, overseen by the Office of the Vice Provost for Advances in Learning (VPAL), to enable faculty to build and create open online learning experiences (free, low-touch, high-touch) for residential and online use, and to enable groundbreaking research in online pedagogies. To date, HarvardX has engaged more than 90 faculty across 10 schools, producing more than 60 open online courses with 3 million global registrants. On-campus, HarvardX has supported nearly 20 blended courses, convened 225 individuals (faculty, undergraduates, graduates, technologies) in developing content, teaching, and conducting research, and built new educational tools and technologies. A leader in advancing the science of learning, HarvardX has produced more than 95 related research publications and produced two major benchmark reports on MOOC learner demographics and behavior.Source: Harvard at a Glance | Harvard UniversityThese are just a few reasons…(p.s. I personally don’t believe it’s the best institution in the world, but that’s because I have different ideals than what I feel they espouse. At the same time, it’s definitely very impressive and there is no doubt that someone who not only gets accepted, but graduates from the University [or college] deserves a bit of respect. Nevertheless, a college does not make a wo/man…it only attempts to provide her/him an education and possibly a strong network.)And here are a couple other threads about the topic:Is Harvard still the best university in the world?Why do so many people want to go to Harvard? What can Harvard offer that other universities cannot?And for some silly, but a few legit additional reasons why it might be the best, check out this post over at College Confidential, they listed over a 100 reasons why go to the University:1. Cambridge/Boston2. Prestige3. best for South Asian Studies and Sanskrit (my personal reasons)4. Awesome Ivy League goodness (1st college in America)5. duh, Elle Woods went there6. I look darn good in crimson7. You can go to Estonia and people will know what Harvard is. lol but seriously, its true8. Conan O'Brien9. The people.10. The exposure/different opportunities.11. The fact that you can do ANYTHING here. Literally. (Providing that you can find time in what is guaranteed to be a rather packed schedule for most people.)12. Natalie Portman, lol13. New England attitude....love it!14. PHENOMENAL art museums right on campus.15. Um... because along with all of these, it's actually a pretty good college?16. The House system17. Connections18. Annenberg Hall: http://www.fas.harvard.edu/~memhall/images2/annen1.jpg19. Math 5520. Living in the same dorm that John Adams and John Quincy Adams did21. Roland Fryer (Prof. in Economics Dept)22. work hard play hard mentality23. Opportunities for an Edward Gorey experience24. The Harvard Lampoon25. For the Money (for the presence and future).26. LIBRARIES! BOOKS! BOOKS! BOOKS! OLD BOOKS! ANCIENT BOOKS!27. Sanders Theater: http://www.fas.harvard.edu/~memhall/images2/sanaudg.jpg28. To actually park your car in Harvard Yard the day you move in29. The incredible glass flower exhibit:The Fragile Beauty of Harvard’s Glass Flowers, The Journal of Antiques & Collectibles Feature Article February 200430. The Hasty Pudding Awards31. >>>>>>>>>>>TO BEAT YALE IN "THE GAME"!!<<<<<<<<<< WOOT32. Dropping the H-Bomb (except really you "go to a school in Boston")33. Adams House34. Prof. Dan Gilbert35. natalie portman gets a second vote36. Just to be able to actually write A.B (Harvard) on my resume for real!37. beautiful campus38. the Crimson39. Primal Scream40. The IOP41. the annenberg hall looks like something from a harry potter movie42. Harvard University Band43. Great Arabic program, as far as I can tell.44. The constant flow of amazing and famous guest speakers every week45. Because it's Harvard!46. Prof. Robert Langton47. The hilarious IgNobel Prize ceremony every year48. The many a capella singing groups49. The Head of the Charles50. Its a good back up.51. Pinnochio's (best pizza place in New England)52. When your professor says, "Sorry I have to miss class next week. I'm getting a Nobel Prize in Physics. You guys will have a guest lecturer though."53. Larry Summers dancing with Elisa New at the President's Study Break over reading period.54. Because you managed to get in!55. The Harvard-Radcliffe Orchestra56. FOP57. Because it rhymes with success58. awesome commencement guest speakers59. clam chowder60. Cause second best just won't do61. HARVARD SOCCER62. forget that, how about HARVARD FENCING, 1st place last year! =D63. Cross register courses at MIT.64. All those great restaurants in N. Boston especially Dom's!65. The Diversity66. Knowing that when you go there, you WILL become something, even if you don't feel it now.67. Museum of Natural History (Can you say "George Washington's pet pheasant?!")68. Harvard Din & Tonics (http://www.dins.com/main/music; McDonald's Girl)69. Harvard Forest (just think of all the microfauna just *begging* to be discovered!)70. Cross-registering with MIT (a repeat...I know)71. Who doesn’t want to dress up as a colonial American man for all of the football games?!72. I can slack off but still maintain a B average thanks to Harvard's Gentleman's grades policy!73. The Harvard Figure Skating Club!!!74. Because Rivers Cuomo went there.75. Being able to cross register with MIT and take a linguistics class with Noam Chomsky.76. Because you can talk for literally years about the reasons to go to Harvard.77. Because you had to sell your soul just to scrape by admissions78. Because it's not to far from RI (yay.)79. Because I just came up with a killer idea for Primal Scream! AND--->80. Because of the "3 Things to do before graduation" are awesome.81. Philip Streich class of 201382. Lou Dobbs went there83. The Boston THREE PARTY84. Because Obama graduated for Harvard Law School85. All the conversations you'll have!86. YO-YO MA!87. Because of the reaction you get when you tell people you're going to Harvard88. Prof. Jeffrey Miron (LIBERTARIAN ECONOMICS FTW)89. chess club, is it too lame? lol90. because anywhere else, you have to say, "i go to ____....it's actually a pretty good school."91. Rivalry with Yale92. Freezing Boston weather93. Within a short vicinity of MIT94. Au Bon Pain95. The Co-Op96. Harvard Forensics Tournament97. Quincy Market98. Peeing on John Harvard99. The atmosphere100. Saying "Hahvahd Yahd"101. Inspirational alumni like George W, the Unabomber and Patrick Bateman.102. To surround yourself with greatness and hope it rubs off103. To escape all those dumb jerks you had to go to high school with, a hundred of whom will go to the local univ. you could have attended instead.104. To win a Nobel Prize105. AMAZING Biomedical research facilities106. Woodberry Poetry Reading Room107. WIGGLESWORTH BABY!!!108. Science Center 24/7 pretzel parties109. To take contracts with that son of a ***** Kingsfield110. OBAMA WENT TO HARVARD!!!!!!!111. You can say **** YOU to all the people who made fun of you in high school112. Coz i wanted to lol at 111.113. The spring balls at the houses.114. The walk down garden street in springtime.115. The dining halls.116. The walk along the Charles River.117. Harvard Square never sleeps.118. The chess master in front of Au Bon Pain.119. The Harvard-Yenching Library.120. Commencement.121. Reunions forever!123. Legacy status for your kids.124. Gets you away from your HS's 2.0 GPA idiots who think they're smart as hell.125. B.c you KNOW that you are getting the #1 education in the entire US126. Because you worked your ass of to get there, so you better love the #1 school in america!!!!!!!127. Because I just read this list.128. Because I want to find a place where almost everyone I meet inspires me to push myself farther129. To know you beat out 93.1% of all 30,489 applicants (Record admissions)!130. Because we thought of 28 more reasons than were necessary. Harvard's always go the extra mile.131. Always winning the Putnam Competition132. Highest number of graduates winning Rhodes, Marshall and Fulbright fellowships133. Being able to join the Harvard network on Facebook. ;D134. We can count best (see: two reason #130s)135. Awesome course selection!

Just Write!Your Simple Guide to Personal Statements and College Applications (Draft 5)Written and Compiled by: Aston TsuiJust WriteTable of ContentsIntroductionHow to Get StartedOrganizing the ContentCreating a Cohesive NarrativeElements of Writing (Rhetoric)Coming Full CircleSample Essays with Track ChangesFAQsIntroductionIt’s do or die. Life and death. It feels like the walls are closing in. Your head is spinning, or maybe the room is. Regardless, you can’t breathe. What’s happening?College. You’re about to apply to college. And your anxiety is making you want to escape. But there is no escape. Meanwhile, the clock ticks time away. And you find yourself in a spiral of procrastination until the deadlines are up to your eyes, and water is about to enter your lungs.But to be honest, it doesn’t have to be that way. Anybody with perspective on the college application process will tell you that in retrospect, the anxiety is way beyond what the situation deserved. In this book, I hope to demystify the college application process in the simplest way possible and get you on your way to that college you envision attending. Let’s begin.Note-Throughout the book I will insert FAQs that I have received throughout my career as an educational consultant and I will insert them when appropriate.Why are American college applications so stressful?I am an international student, just to clarify. I always knew that US applications would be vastly different from that of the country I live in. I don’t mean to come across as rude, I just really require assistance on my application and absolutely no one where I reside is willing to aid me.Aston Tsui, admissions counselorAre you asking for aid or are you asking about why the applications are stressful? Or are those the same question?That which you care about, you tend to stress about, because you care. It’s cyclical you see. If you weren’t stressed, you simply don’t care about it enough, which means when you obtain it, it wouldn’t even feel like it mattered. The stress tells you this matters. The stress tells you this is important. It tells me that you are ready. Or at the very least, ready to question whether you are ready.The application process, if I were to streamline it and break it down into a Quora length readable response, would be this:1.GPAa.Includes courses taken, and difficulty of courses, such as APb.Weighted or Unweighted also mattersc.Difficulty of your school also mattersd.Country of origin also matterse.Performance relative to your peers also matters2.SAT/ACT3.SAT II (if applicable, dependent on the schools you are applying to)4.AP scoresThat pretty much takes care of the numbers. Next is Extracurricular Activities. When it comes to ECA’s, DEPTH over BREADTH. Many is good, but mastery of one is better than jack of all trades, sitting in the stands watching the meetings go by while your classmate is developing a new app. Also, use action verbs, and be clear about what it is you actually did in these ECAs. In the Common App, you have 10 slots to fill in with ECAs, but don’t feel as if you must fill it all out. Be honest.Good luck!What You Need to KnowThe college application process comprises of two essential “hard credentials” and many “soft credentials”. The two essential hard credentials are your GPA and SAT/ACT scores. If you are an international student, the TOEFL or IELTS is also essential. Other hard components that are important, depending on the schools you are applying to, include your SAT II scores, AP scores, and any other applicable standardized tests you may have taken.GPAThe GPA is your grade point average noted on your official high school transcript. Important things to look for in a GPA include:1)Difficulty of courses2)AP courses taken3)Upward and downward trends4)The actual GPA itselfSAT/ACTThe SAT and ACT areTOEFL/IELTSThe TOEFL test is designed to measure a student’s readiness to study at the college level. There are 4 sections, with each section worth a maximum of 30 points. The maximum total score is 120 points. The sections are as follows:·Writing·Reading·Listening·SpeakingEach section can be taught separately or in an integrated manner. The book that I use is the Official TOEFL guide from ETS, or Educational Testing Services. There is no better guide than the guide from the test makers themselves.Instead of providing a step by step, week by week guide, I would recommend that the instructor incorporate some of the teaching methods that I will provide and mix them with their own to create a unique and comprehensive course.·Writing-The writing can be taught in a variety of ways, including a slow method and a long method. The slow method is more applicable and retainable, while the fast method might be preferable for students who have no time left to study or want to expedite the process of attaining a higher score.Long method (or Rhetoric)-Rhetoric is the art of writing. Rhetoric includes the utilization of rhetorical devices such as repetition, proper diction, flowing syntax, and sensible structure. Transitions help smooth out any sudden changes. Alliteration is a device that is relatively minor, but can have a profound impact when utilized appropriately, especially in terms of rhythm and cadence. The method for this is to essentially teach/take AP English and Composition.Short method (or Test-oriented)-Some students simply want to get a higher score as quickly as possible. In this case, you wouldn’t fiddle around with the ins and outs of writing and would instead provide the student with easy to remember sentence patterns and even some five paragraph models so that the student can quickly reproduce a consistent and replicable essay that can work for many different questions. I DON’T recommend using the quick method because even though you can get a higher score, you won’t retain the knowledge for as long. Simply put, you might get a 100, but it doesn’t mean your English is functional in all four realms.·ReadingReading is very meticulous and relatively arduous for students who don’t naturally like to read academic style writing. It can be analytical and full of information and details. For this section, you can analyze the different question types (vocabulary in context, details, summary question, etc.)·ListeningTo be continued!·SpeakingSpeaking is all about practice. Practice as often as you can. To be continued!For an extensive guide to studying the TOEFL exam, please purchase the official ETS guide. Anything made by the test makers themselves tend to be very useful.Here are my top 10 tips for success on the TOEFL speaking section1)There is no substitute for practice2)Watch movies3)Use the recorder on your phoneThe number one method I use to teach my students about the TOEFL exam is through the use of a recorder.Soft components include, but are not limited to:1)Extracurricular activities2)Interests3)Hobbies4)Family Background5)Socioeconomic status6)Honors and Awards7)Etc.Finally, there are the Personal Statements.Most colleges perform what is called a “holistic review”. This means that after you meet a threshold of academic ability, they look at you as an individual as a whole to see if you fit the school that you are applying for. In this regard, you must do school research.School Selection and School ResearchExtracurricular ActivitiesExtracurricular Activities are one of the most underrated aspects of the college application. Many students focus solely on the numbers and sometimes neglect the importance of being a well-rounded individual. Given the choice between two stellar candidates in regards to academics, the student with leadership potential, dedication, innovation, and perhaps even passion will likely stand out.Here are some ways you can build an extracurricular activity (in question and answer format):I'm starting an English writing club in my university. I'm new to this. Can you help?English is not the first language of my country. A lot of people expressed their desire to join in. I’m not sure if a great number is what this club needs. What number do you think is best fit? Any ideas how to keep this club fun and engaging? Any great group activities you have in mind? Thanks!Aston Tsui, admissions counselorDude I would love to help with this. It’s stuff like this I wished my students had the motivation to do because it’s stuff like this that is more impressive than a perfect SAT II score.Alright, how to get started. Numbers numbers numbers. The fact that people have expressed interest to join is already awesome. I am not sure why you think that more members is not better, because that is what everybody thinks. I have no idea what number is a best fit because that depends on the size of your school, the number of people who take interest, your management skills, and the people who can take leadership positions. Which brings us to…The structure or organization of this club. Well actually let’s go back (isn’t this poor back and forth structure confusing you? It’s confusing me, because I’m going stream of consciousness instead of laying a foundation, but that’s my style, and why I don’t like managing anything except myself).A small group is more intimate, with more interaction, and more potential for social bonding. Strength in depth.A large group has strength in numbers. You can get more shit done. You can have more variety in your activities. You can build momentum, camaraderie, atmosphere. You can create a culture. But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.For beginners, start small, and then slowly expand because if you have a giant group of people, cliques can form, people might not be as invested as others (actually this is inevitable), the center cannot hold, things fall apart.Somewhere in the middle will get you something in between those two extremes.Fun and engagement is oftentimes dictated by the leader, which is you. Your passion, enthusiasm, and energy should flow through the club if you are indeed genuine, with a purpose. Speaking of which, what is your purpose? Is it to enhance the language abilities of the members? Is it to boost TOEFL/IELTS scores? Is it simply a conversation corner to talk about how excited you are for the next Marvel movie or the recently released JK Rowling book (which has already become a movie somehow)? On a spectrum of seriousness, how serious are you and what is the PURPOSE?Wait, you said fun and engaging. Take out TOEFL, IELTS, grades, anything that’s typical school stuff.Learn about your members and see what makes them tick. What drives them? When do they become engaged or disengaged? How do they react when you say _____? Listen.As for activities, there are myriad things you could do.1.Spelling contest (this is kind of a joke, but if you actually did it, it would be interesting)2.Jeopardy (games)3.Watching a movie and discussing it together4.Book club!5.Lip singing (I don’t know how old you guys are and your language levels, but lip singing was super popular at the elementary school adjacent to the intl school I worked at-I’m actually serious about this)6.Inviting a guest speaker to talk about stuff you guys are interested in7.Scrabble (board game)8.Taboo, Charades (fun games that are cheap fun and easy)9.In a circle, say something nice about the person to your left or your right and go all the way around the circle until you get back to the person who started, usually the leader (this is for the END of some banquet or party or after a long time of being in this club)10.Two truths and one lie-everybody tells two truths and one lie and everybody guesses which are true and which are lies (this is a warmer for getting to know each other)As you can see, just go with it. There are good ideas, and there are bad ideas, but you don’t know if you don’t try. I really hope that helps. As a teacher/counselor, this question makes me so happy you don’t understand. I’ve been trying so hard to get my students that one of the keys that most intl students don’t understand is that the secret is to do that thing that no one else does or knows how to do. That’s the definition of unique isn’t it? Well it could be the definition of a lot of things. Doing something like this…is EXACTLY that thing. That thing you do.I want to form a poetry club in my school, how do I begin?When I mean, how do I begin, I’m not referring to all the administrative stuff or advertising, but rather what steps are needed in the planning of club activities to build a club dedicated to reading and writing poetry.Aston Tsui, admissions counselorIf you would like to form a poetry club at your school, what you really need is conviction, passion, and the ability to follow through on your mission because you will come across a lot of naysayers and obstacles along the way. For if it was so easy, why isn’t there a poetry club already? Maybe people don’t take enough of an interest in it…that can be your start.First, I’d have to ask you, what compels you to read and write poetry? What makes you drawn to it? What makes you care about it so much to expand your own passion and interests to others.Humans are incredibly social animals and if we can sense that someone is genuinely passionate about a cause that is reflected within ourselves, we will follow. This concept is elucidated much better in Simon Sinek’s books “Start with Why” and “Leaders Eat Last”, but the gist of it is something along the lines of…when your conviction is true and it resonates with people…they will naturally follow you…not FOR you, but for themselves…because they see something in you that they themselves wish for themselves…whether it be poetry, camaraderie, or a boost in their college applications under the extracurricular section.The first step is to gauge interest. Are there enough people to support your cause? If so, gather momentum. Develop a sort of plan or outline as to why this club should exist. Without this manifesto, mission statement, or plan of action, you guys are simply a bunch of people sitting around at a specific time doing some activity.Be specific when it comes to actions. Which poems do you like to read? Which poems do you want to analyze? Why do you want to analyze them? Furthermore, what could the analyses of these poems bring to your constituents?I’ll give you a few examples of my favorite poems:1.If by Rudyard Kipling-What it means to be a man2.Solitude by Ella Wheeler Cox-The feeling of solitude3.How Did you Die by Edmund Vance Cooke-How to Live a meaningful lifeThese messages are all relevant and pertinent to life, but how will you convey this meaning? If you go around trying to convince people of meaning, people will likely be suspicious, questioning what it is you want from them. However, if you feel conviction within yourself genuinely want to share a passion, there is a chance that they might follow.But nothing is guaranteed since you cannot control the interests and actions of other people, unless you are THAT influential. In any case, good luck with this club and I admire your audacity for taking the initial steps towards the formation of something meaningful.How should I structure a high school entrepreneurship club that I am running?Hi, so I am a college freshman who has just been recruited by a high school to proctor and run their brand new entrepreneurship club.The club will be very small, at least to start, 5-10 kids, and I am given complete reign of freedom in deciding what to do.At 1-2 hours a week, how should I tea... (more)Aston Tsui, admissions counselorFirst of all, I need to know how serious you are about building a business. The first thing you must understand within the realm of economics is the concept of “opportunity cost”. Essentially, when you do one thing, you are giving up the opportunity to do something else. TIME is the resource that you are trying to efficiently allocate.If you can answer the following questions with clarity and confidence, business may be in your future:1.What is the product or service you are trying to create?2.What kind of problems in this world will your business solve?3.Who are your target customers?4.What is the mission statement of your business? (Why does your business exist?)5.Will you have a team or will you do this completely alone?6.What kind of requisite skills and talents (such as coding) will be necessary to take your product to the point where you have demonstrated that it is actually viable?7.Do you need investor funding? Can you get it? How? How much funding will you need?8.What about your business distinguishes it from the businesses of your competitors? Or is your business completely breaking new ground and creates a product or service that will help an industry emerge out of the ether?This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to your business venture. There are tons and tons more questions you must consider before starting up. The idea is the seed, which is great, but without air, water, soil, and nutrients, the seed will surely die. Execution is much more difficult than it seems and something like 90–95% of start ups will fail. Which brings me to another question.If in fact, your start up fails, what will you do then? Is your family well off enough to support you while you try again in entrepreneurship or school?I know I sound very pessimistic, but I need to warn you of the potential pitfalls of the glamour and allure of being your own boss, making it on your own, and changing the world as the Steve Jobs and Richard Branson’s of the world.A proposed solution that I can present to you is to combine your entrepreneural spirit with your eventual college application. You are 15 years old, meaning you are likely a sophomore. You have a bit of time to explore and wander while maintaining steady grades. A venture into the world of business could show audacity, spirit, initiative, innovation, and a slew of other character traits that elite colleges would covet.Starting a business does not necessarily have to be inversely proportional to getting good grades, unless your thinking is black and white, one or the other, and all or nothing. To tell you a bit about myself, I was not the CEO of the company, but a small co-founder of a start up that is still in progress. The seed came when I was having dinner with one of my old college buddies in Alpha Kappa Psi, a business fraternity. He is by nature an entrepreneur and I am by nature an educator. We fused our ideas and he essentially came up with everything and I became the advisor and steered the ship right whenever he got too grandiose and moving way too far from the core, the base of why it was we were doing what we were doing.When it comes to business or anything money related, I am relatively conservative because it hurts a lot more to lose $5 than to gain $5. I simply don’t get that rush from winning, but I do suffer so much from the loss of just a little bit. Therefore, I make a terrible entrepreneur.But you might have it, who knows. You may be the next Steve Jobs, the next Elon Musk, the next person who could actually bring to the world that thing we need to solve those problems that plague our world. If you can, more power to you.But if you can’t, don’t let yourself fall so far and so fast that recovery feels like looking up out of a cave a dimly light sky where the sun only shines at that one point of the day, not of your choosing.Chapter 2.5Here is a helpful activities list sheet for you to organize your extracurricular activities and eventually use to transcribe onto your real application.ACTIVITIES LISTPlease list the activities you have been participating in since the 9th grade, in order of their importance to you. Please give a short description of your title/position and what you have learned while doing this activity.Please indicate what grade(s) you were in when you took part and whether you plan to continue this activity in college. Also, please note how many hours a week as well as how many weeks each year you spent participating.Title& DescriptionGrade1.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12HW:WY:2.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12HW:WY:3.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12HW:WY:4.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12HW:WY:5.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12HW:WY:6.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12HW:WY:†HW= hours per week; WY = weeks per year;AWARDS & HONORSPlease list the awards and honors you’ve received since the 9th grade, in order of their importance to you. (You may also include projects you are currently working on) Please give a short description of your accomplishment or venture.Please indicate which years of high school you obtained each award and how impressive / competitive each award is by its Level of Recognition. If the award was earned on the school, state or regional, national, or international level, please check the appropriate box under “LoR”.Title& DescriptionGradeLoR†7.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12o S oS/Ro N o I8.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12o S oS/Ro N o I9.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12o S oS/Ro N o I10.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12o S oS/Ro N o I11.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12o S oS/Ro N o I†S = school level; S/R =state or regional; N = national level; I = international levelTitle& DescriptionGradeLoR†12.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12o S oS/Ro N o I13.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12o S oS/Ro N o I14.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12o S oS/Ro N o I15.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12o S oS/Ro N o I16.o 9 o 10o 11 o 12o S oS/Ro N o I†S = school level; S/R =state or regional; N = national level; I = international levelPersonal StatementGeneral Writing OutlineI.INTRODUCTIONA.Background Information1.General background information that grabs attention (reference)2.More specific background information to lead into the thesis (reference)B.Thesis statement1.Topic2.Outline your key pointsII.BODYA.Support Paragraph 11.Thesis statement2.Supporting Ideasa.Reason/Detail/Fact and transition (reference)b.More information and transition (reference)c.Maybe even more information (reference)3.Summarizing/Concluding/Transition sentenceB.Support Paragraph 21.Thesis statement2.Supporting Ideasa.Reason/Detail/Fact and transition (reference)b.More information and transition (reference)c.Maybe even more information (reference)3.Summarizing/Concluding/Transition sentenceC.Possible Support Paragraph 31.Thesis statement2.Supporting Ideasa.Reason/Detail/Fact and transition (reference)b.More information and transition (reference)c.Maybe even more information (reference)3.Summarizing/Concluding/Transition sentenceD.Maybe even another Support Paragraph 4 (or more)1.Thesis statement2.Supporting Ideasa.Reason/Detail/Fact and transition (reference)b.More information and transition (reference)c.Maybe even more information (reference)3.Summarizing/Concluding/Transition sentenceIII.CONCLUSIONA.Summarize/Review key pointsB.Concluding thoughtIV.REFERENCES (use APA or MLA format)Name: _____________________ Date: __________________OutlineTitle: ___________________________________________________I. ___________________________________________________A._____________________________________________B._____________________________________________C._____________________________________________II. ___________________________________________________A._____________________________________________B._____________________________________________C._____________________________________________III. ___________________________________________________A._____________________________________________B._____________________________________________C._____________________________________________Chapter 3Writing the IntroductionIf you want to grab someone’s attention, you can say something completely unexpected. “I hate school” will definitely do the trick, but where you go with that statement will be very tricky to maneuver if your goal is to get into a good school. A better “shocking” introduction might be sharing a secret or reflecting on something very personal. You have to be very careful with these topics though because there is a very fine line between acceptable and distasteful when it comes to sensitive topics. Writing a good personal statement is like the college admissions process itself. It is much more of an art than a science and art is subjective, so use your best judgment.If you want to play it safe and just answer the question, you can simply restate the question and answer it. I want to study _____ because it is interesting to me. Give several reasons. The end. I don’t recommend this method. I simply want to illustrate that it is much harder to stand out in a way that works than to play it safe in a way that works.A good quote that illustrates this point is when Sansa Stark asks Lord Bailish (from the Game of Thrones series) why he would risk so much to save her. His response was:“Most men risk nothing. And then they die.”Quotes are typically frowned upon since they are cliché. However, if it is utilized in the proper context, it can work.Just remember: What is your goal? What do you want to set up? Are you willing to stand out?And last of all, try everything. You may risk writing a bad introduction and feel foolish for it. On the other hand, you may risk nothing, write a safe introduction that reads just like everybody else, and make no impression. It’s up to you.Chapter 8-Active Voice, Diction, and SyntaxThere are many elements of writing including tone, knowing your audience, pace, grammar, and rhetoric. Grammar is too textbook and beyond the scope of this course to go over. The aspects where I can give you the most bang for your buck would be in regards to active voice vs. passive voice and diction. They are easy to grasp yet difficult to master, which is exactly the type of material that can give you endless amounts of practice and improvement with minimal instruction. First, let’s start with active voice vs. passive voice.Chapter 8.1 Active Voice vs. Passive VoiceThis is active voice:1.The dog bit me.This is passive voice:1.I was bitten by the dog.Active voice occurs when the subject performs the action. Passive voice occurs when the subject is acted upon. The dog is the subject. In “The dog bit me,” the dog performed the biting. In the second sentence, “I was bitten by the dog,” the dog is no longer the focus.Active voice is preferred because it is 1) stronger 2) less wordy and therefore less confusing. So why do we use passive voice?Passive voice is used when the subject is not important or unknown. For example:1)The car was made in China.Here, the product is more important than the maker, so we use passive voice. When we want to focus on enhancing a product, we tend to use passive voice.2)The bag was made by Louis Vutton.3)The watch was designed by Rolex.Or the subject may be less important, which is sometimes the case in news reports.1)The man was struck by an unidentified vehicle.Please refer to the exercises for practice on changing passive voice to active voice and understanding active and passive voice.Chapter 8.2-DictionDiction means word choice. Word choice is important because it allows you to be more precise. Precision and specificity is good when it comes to writing personal statements or any kind of writing in general. Good diction is not always obvious because good diction allows for a very natural cadence and flow to the writing. However, poor diction can be either very glaring or very boring.Example 1:[A1] “Hey Thomas, how do I look in this T-shirt and jeans? Please don’t use something like ‘phenomenal’ or some other word that I don’t even understand.”“Personally, you look fashionably dowdy.”“What?”My friend was just standing there gawking at me in utter despair[A2] , and I continued: “Well sorry After obtaining a thesaurus, my words are no longer simply fantastic; they have become splendiferous’.”It might be universal to most people that words are only utilized to give proper meaning, and if the information is clear and successfully transferred, the person has already done the job. Why bother with even more complex words that simply transfer very similar meanings? I love “complex” words and I love employing[A3] them to find the exact meaning I want to convey to people. Furthermore, this feeling of exploration and investigation of word choice along with the utilizing of new words has always been enjoyable. It allows me to discover more interesting uses and exercise them naturally.In my favorite activities, I love to use “my words[A4] ”. Model United Nations have constantly been one of my top interests throughout high school. The debates in these mock conferences always make me feel excited and exhilarated, just like a warrior who is eager to utilize all his strength to fight in the battlefield. In one conference concerning the settlement of Palestinian refugees, tensions arose.[A5] :“Well, delegate of Iraq, stop making such a garrulous speech. In some extenuating circumstances, Israel can accept your ambiguous sayings. But please be direct if you are going to authorize the settlement of refugees in Iraq.”Then unfortunately I heard the “loudest whisper[A6] ” from the delegate of Iraq to the delegate of Syria:“Oh heck, I don’t understand what he is talking about. Guard…rule-ous? Extend-you-ate-ing[A7] ?”The delegate of Syria shook his head slightly and sighed with resignation.Seeing the two delegates’ perplexing expression, I suddenly realized what I had done and sighed with resignation too. I know I was inappropriate in utilizing hard new words to convey similar meanings, but I cannot help but going with my own natural expressions. It feels awesome[A8] !What’s more, I love playing tennis with friends so I wrote something months ago to record the source of interest for playing tennis. One day while waiting for friends to come and play, I was immersed in the ocean of nostalgia and wrote something in my notebook: “I constantly admire Ryoma, one of the most fascinating characters in a Japanese comic because of his amazing strategies in waving the rackets just like a sophisticated doctor who can point out what disease the patient has without difficulties[A9] . I was still imagining in my mind how Ryoma was running from one side to the other using his mincing steps on the court, holding the magical racket that appeared to be like legerdemain to the childish me.” Soon my friend came and had a glimpse into my notebook, and he shouted out:“Oh goodness, I had no idea what you were writing about. It seems powerful and esoteric.”I laughed: “Esoteric seems like a good word here.” And happily, we went to play together.Many people I confront do not realize or understand what I am doing with all of these words. To them it is just like a burden that few people are willing to withstand.[A10] However, to me it is definitely not a burden, but a daily inspiration that propels me to explore, to discover, to probe into the fascinating world of words. Words are objects that people commonly utilize in their daily life, and I feel both excited and satisfied that I am able to discover words that have the exact meanings I want to convey, and naturally convey them. That gives me the ineffable pleasure.I love words. It’s part of my identity.FEEDBACKOK, NOW I think it is more original. However, it needs to be refined.1)In most cases, you do use the big words appropriately (extenuating, nostalgia). However, some are used in a way that is slightly questionable. For example, “mincing steps” is like a burglar robbing a house or a ballerina. A tennis player using mincing steps makes me think of a sneaky person. But a tennis player would use graceful or powerful steps, like a gazelle or a tiger.2)The idea we came up with was an original idea. In writing, the execution was harder than I thought. The first story about MUN was pretty clear. You made someone feel confused with your immense vocabulary and you felt both good and bad. This is pretty interesting. Somewhat introspective and reflective. The second story was about recording your words down (esoteric) about tennis. HOWEVER, tennis is at the forefront and writing is in the background. What if you put WRITING in the forefront and tennis in the background? That way you can continue to keep the spotlight on the theme of WORDS instead of suddenly making me feel like we’re talking your passion of tennis instead. You’re trying to do both, but tennis took over the show a little too much and hurts the theme. Do you know what I mean? What do you think?3)You can improve it by extension in several ways. One is to talk about what you will DO with the words. Are you going to study linguistics or language? Are you going to join MUN in college? Are you going to become a lawyer or a politician? How will you use this passion/talent/skill? How else can you extend it?4)The beginning is actually pretty vivid and funny.5)HOWEVER, a lot of the big words you use are used so rarely that I don’t even know how you use them naturally! Splendiferous, for example. I think something you can do is ADMIT that even though you know all these words and their meanings, you don’t know how to apply them perfectly all the time. DRAW A PARELLEL. You have intelligence and you enjoy learning but you don’t know how to apply it to this world yet. But you want to. Something like that.Overall, it’s an intriguing first draft. Take my notes into consideration as you refine this essay. I think if you EXTEND IT, fine tune the stories, connect it with smoother transitions instead of just “what’s more”, you can make the essay WHOLE. I think that should be enough guidance for you to write a much improved second draft. This essay is a little more special I think. Turn your hips, drive your legs, and snap your wrist a little harder. Give the essay more power through your swing. Let me know what you think.To review, proper diction is good word choice. Sometimes it will enhance the writing. Other times it will set things straight. Done right, everything will be smooth sailing. Done wrong, and you will question the breadth of the author’s vocabulary.Chapter 8.3-SyntaxSyntax means order. It can be applied to both sentences and paragraphs, but let’s focus on sentences for now.Example 1:1.I was at the mall and then I suddenly received a phone call informing me that my brother had died in a car accident.2.I received a phone call informing me that my brother had died in a car accident and then I suddenly went to the mall.Clearly, there is a big difference between these two sentences, even though the words used are nearly identical. The first sentence is tragic. The second is tragic as well, but also brings into question your relationship with your brother considering you went to the mall after finding out that he died. As you can see, the meanings of the two sentences are quite different, and this is due to SYNTAX.Syntax can also be applied to the paragraph level in an essay, but for now we will focus on individual sentences. All in due time. For now, please refer to the exercises to improve your diction and syntax.Name: Block: Date:Syntax – The arrangement and grammatical relation of words, phrases, and clauses in a sentence __________ -Diction – Word Choice __________ - ___________________________What is a diction error?A diction error is a “wrong word” error. For instance, if an employer say we interviewed perspective candidates instead of we interviewed prospective candidates, she has committed an error in diction. Perspective means point of view, but prospective means potential. On the SAT, a diction error will be a word that almost sounds right.Correct the diction error in the following sentences:1.My sister she can’t go to school today.2.The game had ought to be over now.3.Between the three of us, you are the slowest.4.This movie is differcult than the last one I saw.5.My book is their on the table.EXERCISE #2Why is Syntax Important?Syntax is the grammatical tool that deals with how sentences are put together and the relationship between words. It is a very methodical and logical sequence, ensuring that sentences are put together using subject, verb and object and that the words in the sentence all have agreement, so that the correct forms of words are used.Read this sentence and see if you detect a problem with its syntax:Tourists see statues of many famous patriots walking along Boston’s Freedom Trail.It appears that the statues are walking, not the tourists. In English, modifiers are usually placed as close as possible to the words they describe, so this sentence should read:Tourists walking along Boston’s Freedom Trail see statues of many famous patriots.Fix the error in syntax in each of the following sentences:1.I thought I heard a strange rattle driving my car.2.Strumming on his guitar, we suddenly remembered where we had seen this folk singer before.3.I turned the corner and bumped into an elderly gentleman paying no attention to where I was going.EXERCISE #3· What is diction?Correct the diction in the following sentences:1.That kind of sounds make me nervous.2.That there woman is our teacher.3.The teacher will learn us the rules.4.This here shoe is yours.5.In this class, all accept one boy passed.6.What dorm don’t have air conditioning?· What is syntax?Correct the syntax in the following sentences:7.Orbiting between Mars and Jupiter, research astronomers discovered a new group of asteroids.8.I saw a long line of traffic looking both ways before I tried to cross the street.9.The caterer served refreshments to the guests wearing a frilly white apron.10.Raised in an open field without any pesticides, I prefer vegetables and fruits.EXERCISE #4· What is diction?Correct the diction in the following sentences:1.Where is your paper at?2.Oh, I ate two much!3.Janet doesn’t work hear anymore.4.No thanks, I don’t want none of that cake.5.The man which stole the car was caught.6.Driving that old car aggravates me.7.He should of done his housework earlier.· What is syntax?Correct the syntax in the following sentences:8.Cooked too long, she thought the pasta did not taste good any more.9.Spiced with Italian herbs, I had never tasted anything quite like Imelda’s salad.10.Wrapped in brightly colored paper, Mickey tore open the birthday present.Chapter 9Sample Personal Statement rough drafts with commentaryRobotExperience in robotNot enoughDo something to communityMake world betterAs the society steps into the 21st century, it changes dramatically. The internet, personal computers and robots alter the way we live. It is fortunate to born in this era and appreciate the charisma of these high-techs.Since junior one, I have been a member of the robot club in our school for five years. It was of honor to be the captain of the club for the past 2 years and lead the whole team to win outstanding awards. I gained both the basic knowledge of programing and robotic and precious friendship through the experience of RoboCup Junior. However, I still felt that there was more that I could do.In the closed ceremony of RoboCup Junior, the chairman of the committee of RoboCup Junior, Amy, told us that the aim of RoboCup Junior is to cultivate the robotic interest of youth and provide a platform for us to communicate and contest with each other. Nonetheless, in my mind, I thought I should do something that really can have changes.Changing the world is not an easy thing to accomplish, but starting to help the community is what I can do right now. Using the programming knowledge that I have learned in robotics, I started to write little programs to help my friends and myself. In my school, there is an online meal-order system for students to use. However, the online system is so slow and ugly that students always complain about that. I design a website that allows students to order the meal fast and efficiently. It won praises from students in my school. In addition, when my friends told me that watching English movie and TV series is a good way to learn English and relax at the same time, I started to try it. Then, I came up with an idea that in fact can promote English study with this way. I write a program that can intellectually and partly translates subtitles of English movies and TV series. It estimated vocabulary the watcher has and based on it to only translate hard words and put the Chinese meaning just after the English word in the subtitle. It actually improves the level of English study when one watches movies. I shared this useful program with my friends and they commented it as a good way to enjoy the movie and learn English efficiently at the same time.Is this enough? No, I should do more to the world. One day, a friend found me and asked me if I would like join her team to accomplish a project. In this project, we were supposed to design a traffic light and fountain system. When the traffic light turns red, the fountain will start to spout out a curtain of water to prevent pedestrians from crossing the road and when the light turns green, it will stop and let pedestrians go across. At the same time, it also decreases the PM10 concentration and cleans the air. I appreciated the idea so much and I designed the whole hardware and software system for this project. Under the help of one foundation, we bought the equipment and had a demo practice in the road. Later on, TV Tokyo, one of the major Tokyo television stations, interviewed us about the whole project. At last, with our effort, we implemented the system in the real road. When the water was poured out, I was moved to see what I had done actually changed the little part of the world a little bit.Making a difference is always what I want to do. In the information era, technology provides a perfect vehicle for me to accomplish my dream. In my mind, one world with you, one world without you, the meaning of the life is to make the most difference between the two worlds.Draft 3Very late one evening, I clicked the “submit” button without spirits [A11] as I had done for thousands of times before. Several seconds later, a word came out on my screen instead of a long error log. Success! Immediately, I felt reinvigorated from the five-hour exhaustion created by repeated failure.[A12] I nearly jumped out of my chair and shouted to express my exhilaration. Despite the darkness of that night, my room was illuminated brightly by my dim computer screen[A13] .When I first entered[A14] high school, I heard from my friends that the meal-order system was really difficult to use. It not only had an ugly and unfriendly interface but also responded to the requests very slowly. Consequently, patience was necessary to order meals in my school. Moreover, the system also did not allow smartphones to log onto the website. Mountains of complaints about this system were pervasive throughout my school, but administrators were reluctant to improve it due to high costs.One day, when I was queuing for lunch in the cafeteria with my friend, my friend complained about the meal-order system again. “Last night, I spent approximately half an hour sitting behind my computer and doing nothing except clicking my mouse and waiting.” All of a sudden, an idea just popped into my mind. “What if I create a new system for students to use?” Later on, this idea occupied my brain and stayed there.With the basic programming knowledge that I had learnt in Robotics before, I conceived an outline for the system. The system ought to be a proxy[A15] . My server provided the menu and users submitted their data to my server. Then, my server transferred the data to the school server. All the time-consuming work is done by my server instead of users[A16] . Although the whole conception was perfect, when I sat down behind the computer screen with ambition and put my hands on the keyboard, I found that I did not even know what to type for the first line. Although I studied the general programming logic and syntax, the lack of specific knowledge that would apply in this system was the obstacle for me. Without hesitation, I decided to study the programming on my own.Thanks to Google and those selfless online teachers, teaching videos on YouTube became the first step to learn programming. Every night, after finishing school homework, I watched a period of class online and finished the programming homework that I arranged for myself. Time quietly flew by and the first line was still unwritten in my program.After finishing the whole class, I started to write my first version of the system. I searched for example programs for each function that I needed and tried it in my website. Although it sounded like a task of copying, pasting and editing some parameters, I actually faced a series of problems that were beyond my expectations. It took me several days just to write a program to submit the username and password from my server to the school server. At first, I imagined naively that I could just read and follow the manuals and the program would work. However, the reality was that the school server required cookies, validation keys and access keys, which were not mentioned in the manual. I had to search all these keys or parameters to know what they meant and how I could get and send them. I didn’t expect any of this. However, I held fast a conviction to accomplish this project. Every weekend, I spent nearly a whole day on my computer, reading various inscrutable manuals and instructions in both Chinese and English.I labored on this project for several months. After I relentlessly debugged and tested the system, it finally worked. Later on, I started to recruit friends and classmates as members of the closed alpha test[A17] . Not only did they point out suggestions and problems, they were also amazed by the whole meal-order system that I had made. One of members in the alpha test asked me why I decided to create this system. I answered simply, “Just because I wanted to try my best to do something that makes our lives easier[A18] .”Chapter 10Show Not TellTelling: The girls were excited.Showing: Giggles and screams filled the arena. The soft curls were now damp with perspiration and the anticipation of the event. They held tight to each other in a mock effort to contain themselves. Arms flailed upward, and voices echoed in varying tones. The moment was here.Telling: The room was vacant.Showing: The door opened with a resounding echo that seemed to fill the house. Cob webs once attached flowed freely in the air as the open door brought light to a well worn floor. The light gave notice to the peeling paint on the walls and to the silhouettes once covered by pictures. The new air gave life to a stuffiness that entrapped the room. Faded and torn white sheets covered once new furniture now drowning in dust.The pizza was delicious.Steam rising up off the melted cheese made my mouth water. The first bite, my teeth sinking into the cheese through the tomato sauce and into the moist crust, made me chew and swallow rapidly. Even the cheese and tomato sauce, sticking to my fingertips, begged to be licked.He is angry.Sitting at his desk, his jaw tightened. His eyes flashed heat waves at me. The words erupted from his mouth, "I want to talk to you after class." The final hiss in his voice warned me about his feelings.The morning was beautiful.Behind the mountains, the sun peaked brightly, ready to start a new day. The blue sky remained silent yet showed signs of sadness. The wind whispered through the trees as the cheerful sun rose. The birds sang gently by my window as if they wanted to wake me up.The coffee was enjoyable.She cradled the mug in both hands and leaned her head over it in the rising steam. Pursing her lips, she blew softly over the clouded surface and let her eyelids drop. Her shoulders rose slightly as she breathed in, and she hummed with her head low. I lifted the tiny porcelain pitcher and poured a brief rotating arch of white into the black depths of my own cup. She opened her eyes, and we looked at each other across the table without speaking.Show not Tell Exercise | TopConverting telling writing to showing writing: from sentences to paragraphs and beyond. Choose one telling sentence from below and expand to a showing paragraph or other short genre of writing.I am nervous.It was a day unlike any other day.The sunset was surreal.The story hit a nerve.Show Not Tell Homework (additional practice)Write THREE showing paragraphs:1) An emotion. But you aren't allowed to say what it is. (For example, show fear without ever using "afraid" or "scared" or anything like them.)2) A location or setting. Don't ever name the location; we should be able to figure out where you are by the fantastic showing description.3) An act. Show a character doing something. We should be able to know what it is without the act being named. (Examples: baking cookies, changing oil in the car, putting on makeup, mowing the lawn.)Chapter 12.2 Questions to Consider and FeedbackQuestions to Consider1)Does it get too sensitive and deep?2)Is the beginning enough of a hook?3)Is it coherent?4)Is it too negative?5)What are the strengths and weaknesses?6)Where can it be more specific?7)Does the end "tie up" the essay?Eliminating Wordiness Exercise 1Revise these sentences to state their meaning in fewer words. Avoid passive voice, needless repetition, and wordy phrases and clauses. The first sentence has been done as an example.1. Many local farmers plan to attend next Friday's meeting.2. Although Bradley Hall is regularly populated by students, close study of the building as a structure is seldom undertaken by them.3. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it was necessary for him to help support his family.4. It is expected that the new schedule will be announced by the bus company within the next few days.5. There are many ways in which a student who is interested in meeting foreign students may come to know one.6. It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a deliberate lie on purpose.7. Trouble is caused when people disobey rules that have been established for the safety of all.8. A campus rally was attended by more than a thousand students. Five students were arrested by campus police for disorderly conduct, while several others are charged by campus administrators with organizing a public meeting without being issued a permit to do so.9. The subjects that are considered most important by students are those that have been shown to be useful to them after graduation.10. In the not too distant future, college freshmen must all become aware of the fact that there is a need for them to make contact with an academic adviser concerning the matter of a major.11. In our company there are wide-open opportunities for professional growth with a company that enjoys an enviable record for stability in the dynamic atmosphere of aerospace technology.12. Some people believe in capital punishment, while other people are against it; there are many opinions on this subject.Answers: Eliminating Wordiness Exercise 1Please note that these are a sampling of possible answers. These should be used as a guide to show what is possible, not as a source of the only "correct" answers for the exercise. Here are our suggestions:1. Many local farmers plan to attend next Friday's meeting.2. Bradley Hall is usually filled with students who do not study the building as a structure.3. He dropped out of school to support his family.4. The bus company will probably announce its schedule during the next few days.5. Any student who wants to meet foreign students can do so in many ways.6. Rarely will you find someone who has never told a deliberate lie.7. Disobeying safety regulations causes trouble.8. Five out of more than a thousand students at a campus rally were arrested for disorderly conduct, and several others were charged by campus administrators with organizing a public meeting without a permit.9. Students think that the most important subjects are those that will be useful after graduation.10. Soon college freshmen must realize that they need to contact their advisors about their choices of majors.11. Our company provides opportunities for professional growth and stability in the dynamic field of aerospace technology.12. There are people who are for and people who are against capital punishment.Eliminating Wordiness Exercise 2Directions: Combine each sentence group into one concise sentence.1. The cliff dropped to reefs seventy-five feet below. The reefs below the steep cliff were barely visible through the fog.2. Their car is gassed up. It is ready for the long drive. The drive will take all night.3. Sometimes Stan went running with Blanche. She was a good athlete. She was on the track team at school.4. Taylor brought some candy back from Europe. It wasn't shaped like American candy. The candy tasted kind of strange to him.5. Government leaders like to mention the creation of new jobs. They claim that these new jobs indicate a strong economy. They don't mention that low-wage jobs without benefits and security have replaced many good jobs.Answers: Eliminating Wordiness Exercise 21. The cliffs dropped to the reefs seventy-five feet below, which were barely visible through the fog.2. Their car is gassed up and ready for an all-night drive.3. Sometimes Stan went running with Blanche, a good athlete on the track team at school.4. Taylor brought some strange-tasting candy back from Europe that wasn't shaped like American candy.5. Government leaders like to mention the creation of new jobs, claiming that these jobs indicate a strong economy, but ignoring the fact that low wage jobs without benefits and security have replaced many good jobs.Chapter 14TransitionsTransitions essentially serve as the connections between sentences, paragraphs, and the essay as a whole. They can be single words, paragraphs, or ideas.The purpose of transitions is to help you seamlessly move from one idea to another. If transitions are not utilized properly, your essay will seem “jumpy” or not “smooth”. It takes away from the coherence of the essay and will not be pleasant to read.So how do we use transitions? Let’s look at a sample outline of a personal statement.Main ideas1)Participated in club for 4 years2)Progressively became more of a leader3)Learned a bunch of stuff in the process4)Now much better prepared for college/more matureThis is an extremely formulaic and typical essay, but for the sake of illustration, let’s use it because it’s so easy to understand.What is the relationship between the first idea and the second idea? Progression. What kind of transitional expressions can we use for progression?If sequence and order, we can use first, second third…next, then, finally, etc. If time, we can use after, afterward, at last, before, currently, during, earlier, immediately, later, meanwhile, now, recently, simultaneously, subsequently, or then. There is a slew of potential relationships between each idea, and the most important task is to identify the relationship. Once you identify the relationship, you can use any of the transitional phrases to aid you in weaving your narrative together.Furthermore, a technique that I like to use is to take a word or an idea from a previous sentence or paragraph and build upon it in the next paragraph. For example: (Taken from an essay about my interest in psychology)“Being the forward thinking person that I was, I went to the library and checked out introductory college level textbooks in fields that I might be interested in, but had no previous exposure to. I checked out politics, economics, psychology, finance, linguistics, and books on other topics.Politics was mildly interesting. Economics was hard to grasp. Money grabbed my attention for a while, but the allocation of assets and liabilities was not something I wanted to invest too much time into. Linguistics was also merely mildly interesting. And then there was psychology.”The first paragraph discusses the action of checking out the books. The following paragraph discusses the same books in the same order, except I dig deeper. I discuss how I felt about each topic instead of just reading. And for the sake of creating a dramatic pause, “and then there was psychology.”When you really think about it and just let yourself write, transitions are very natural and serve as the glue for all your thoughts. People don’t typically jump from one topic to another unless you have short-term memory. So allow your natural flow, cadence, and the transition words to seamlessly take you from part of the story to the next.Chapter 157 Things to Keep in Mind While Writing Your EssaysA personal statement is designed to give the admissions officers a sense of who you are. Throughout all the books I have gleamed, all the videos I have watched, and all the information I have curated for the purpose of helping you write an incredible personal statement, I have come across key themes and suggestions.1)Colleges are looking for “strength of character, motivation for service to others, and leadership” (according to an AO from Berkeley).This is a wide range of characteristics, but the point is to reveal something of merit about yourself. Different essays have different angles, but you should always try to present qualities of yourself that are noteworthy. Better yet, show these qualities instead of telling them.2)Stand outGiven that there are over 20,000 valedictorians while there are only 1,000-2,000 spots at some of the top schools in the nation (including Harvard, Princeton, and Yale), it is inevitable that some of these kids who were NUMBER ONE in their class in terms of grades will be rejected. Why were they rejected? Meanwhile, certainly some kids who weren’t valedictorians got in. Why were they accepted? The non-valedictorians were able to differentiate themselves from valedictorians beyond grades.You can stand out through extracurricular activities, leadership, service, strength of character as mentioned before. Or you can have an incredible talent, such as being a national champion in a sport or instrument. Or you may have overcome incredible circumstances, such as war. You must stand out.To know if you stand out, simply ask these questions: How many other people can do this thing that I can do? How many other people can say what I have done or accomplished? If the answer is very few, you are on the right track.3)Stories are compelling. Lists are not.Yes, you want to show the admissions officers how unique and incredible you are, but far too many students fall into the trap of listing their achievements as opposed to weaving together a cohesive story. Students think that their achievements and accomplishments may set them apart (which they might), but they present them in a list (which won’t work).The AOs are trying to identify human beings that will contribute to the campus, diversify the campus, thrive in academics as well as in other arenas, represent the school well, and match the school’s unique personality and philosophies. Lists are too distant. They detract from the human connection. Stories, on the other hand, evoke the impressions that you want to form.4)If you’re asked to name a person whom you admire, the important part is why that person matters to YOU!If you say that your grandfather affected you the most, briefly follow that up with why. And then talk about his importance in RELATION to you as opposed to ranting about why your grandfather is so amazing. If you do the latter, the AOs will want to admit your grandfather as opposed to you. Remember, these personal statements are all about you.5)Depth is more important than breadthWould you want to admit someone who was part of 10 clubs and barely participated in any of them or took part in 2-3 clubs and were highly active in them? Breadth may show ambition, but ultimately you don’t get too much out of the experience. Depth, however, shows dedication, potential leadership, and probably more meaningful connections over a longer period of time. A lot of one thing is better than a little bit of everything.6)Use the “thumb” testPut your thumb over your name on the personal statement. Can the essay be true about someone else? If so, you have failed. The personal statement must be yours. You must own it and it should not be possible to replicate this personal statement. If it doesn’t sound like it can only pertain to you, you must be more specific.7)Don’t send out red flagsSome students can get accepted despite subpar grades and test scores. However, it works the other way as well. If you appear grandiose, careless, or even crass (amongst other things), you can have perfect scores and get rejected. Your personal statement reveals character. Don’t give the AOs any reason to suspect that your character is questionable.The previous seven ideas to keep in mind are important to remember for all personal statements, but there is one huge difference between US and Canadian personal statements. Canadian personal statements are much shorter. Usually, they range between 200 and 650 words. Most fall in the middle. 200 words is barely enough just answer the questions without using any adjectives or give any background information.Because of this, you must be parsimonious and select your words very carefully. Cut down unnecessary words. Don’t be redundant. And most of all get to the point. It’s almost like an interview. Only say what you need to say in order to stay under the word limit.Hopefully, these ideas will sink into your mind and you will be able to harness your writing abilities to write a stand out prompts that reflect your unique character in the form of a narrative. Good luck!Chapter 16The Activity EssayDescribe your overall experience in this activity type (including awards, recognition and success). (300 words max)*I wasn’t a very fast runner during my freshman year. My body type is probably more suitable for rugby or sumo wrestling than long distance running. But it was a great way to develop my endurance for the grueling basketball season.In my first race, I simply wanted to finish the 3 miles. 3 miles seemed like an incredibly long distance at the time. My time was around 24 minutes, good for 2nd to last place on the team, but I was glad I finished it.Steadily, I improved. Every race I would pass somebody with my “kick”, or my sprint at the end of the race. I was on junior varsity by the second year.At the end of my third year, we were tied for third place with our rival, Alhambra, entering the final league meet. The top three teams went on to CIF, or the state championship rounds. The whole race I followed an Alhambra runner in front of me because he seemed to be running exactly the pace of my limit. During the final stretch, I heard screams and cheers. Suddenly, I bolted for the finish line. I was about 100 meters behind him at the start, but by the time we crossed the finished line, I had just finished less than half a step ahead of him.I had no idea what my time was or anything. I was just dead tired. In the aftermath, it turns out that I ran a 16:55, made the top 5 for my school (meaning I vaulted myself onto the varsity team), and helped our team beat Alhambra by a single point. That half step was the difference between the end of a season and moving on to the championship rounds.I won the most improved runner award and felt like a hero for a day. But the most incredible feeling was knowing that over time, consistently putting one foot over another and sprint toward the finish can propel your whole team to the next stage.Chapter 16.2Activity Essay with Track ChangesDescribe your overall experience in this activity type (including awards, recognition and success). (300 words max)*I wasn’t a very fast runner during my freshman year[A19] . My body type is probably more suitable for rugby or sumo wrestling than long distance running. But it was a great way to develop my endurance.In my first race, I simply wanted to finish the 3 miles,an incredibly long distance at the time. I finished the race ataround 24 minutes, good for 2nd to last place,I was just glad I finished it.Steadily, I improved. Every race I would pass somebody with my sprint at the end of the race. I was on junior varsity by the second year.At the end of my third year, we were tied for third place with our rival, Alhambra, entering the final league meet. The top three teams went on to CIF, the state championship rounds. The whole race I followed an Alhambra runner in front of me because he seemed to be running just a little faster than my usual race pace. During the final stretch, I heard screams and cheers. Suddenly, I bolted for the finish line. When we were at the finish line, I finished less than half a step ahead of him[A20] .I had no idea what my time was. I was just dead tired. In the aftermath, it turned out that I ran a 16:55, made the top 5 for my school (meaning I vaulted myself onto the varsity team), and helped our team beat Alhambra by a single point. That half step was the difference between the end of a season and moving on to the championship rounds.I won the most improved runner award and felt like a hero for a day. But the most incredible feeling was knowing that over time, consistently putting one foot over another and sprint toward the finish can propel your whole team to the next stage. [A21] [A22]Chapter-The finished productFinal Personal Statement examplesPrompt 1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.“Hey Thomas, how do I look in this T-shirt and these jeans? Please don’t use a word like ‘ostentatious’ that I don’t even understand.”“Personally, you look fashionably dowdy.”“What?” My friend was just standing there gawking at me in utter confusion, and I laughed: “Sorry, after obtaining a thesaurus, my words are no longer simply good; they have become phenomenal.”Most people ubiquitously accept that words are only utilized to provide proper meanings, and if the information is conveyed, then words have done their job. Why bother with redundant words that simply transfer similar meanings? Nevertheless, I love these seemingly “redundant” words and enjoy employing them in daily life. The exploration of word choice has always been pleasurable, as it allows me to discover more intriguing words and apply them naturally in sundry activities.Words used exceptionally well often invoke sentiments of strength. I once presented a speech at the opening ceremony of a model senateconference as an elucidating message to the delegates. Serving as the organizer of this event, I deeply understood the entangled interests among parties, individual interests, and the authority of senate at that time. Consequently, I prepared a speech that intended to shed light on convoluted matters to all the perplexed senators. However, when I went up on stage with apprehension, I saw delegates grudgingly provide tepid applause:“Oh heck, another useless John Doe is coming up. This conference is bungled.”Hearing this “loud whisper”, I was a bit disturbed by the expected frustration of delegates, but I remained calm. I put the paper away, and started my speech: “… Now comes another crucial time to test whether the pillars of democracy that have been in place for seven score years will endure. Nevertheless, senators, without reaching across the aisle, any aspiring political agenda is doomed to collapse like a house of cards…”As I sighed with relief after the speech, hoping that I was not speaking too hastily, anoutbreak of ovation overwhelmed me. Staring at delegates in both astonishment and bewilderment, I failed to grasp the source of their respect and approval. Suddenly, I experienced an epiphany: the power of words. Thanks to them, my message of integration in a productive manner has achieved the intended impact.For ISIS and Baghdadi, words are deemed as weapons to proselytize and threaten Middle East citizens. Furthermore, the power of them may come at a price: Charlie Hebdo was raided by extremists because of its agitating statements to Islamic prophets.However, for Charlie Hebdo and Jon Stewart, words are utilized as channels to provide integrity, and fresh ideas through amusing satire and mockery. More importantly, to them, words possess the power to bring profound changes, just like what Stephen Colbert said to Jon Stewart in his final show: “On behalf of so many people whose lives you’ve changed over the past sixteen years, thank you. We owe you.” The new generation mentored by him will soon come up to the fresh stage of satire to present the truth.But to most Chinese people, these words are frowned upon and considered as means to flaunt. Few are willing to pursue them under the danger of being laughed at, and most students only perceive the necessity to know basic meanings by rote, ignoring the essence of words: application and practicality. However, despite my knowledge of word meanings, some word choices still appear to be “esoteric” because of failures in precise utilizations. Fortunately for me, Model United Nations and creative writings have constantly accompanied me on the path of practicing “my words” at a higher level. And I believe in college MUN or debate activities will be continuously influenced by the magic of words, continuously inspiring people, spreading optimism, and creating more distinctive ideas.I simply love words. It’s my idiosyncrasy. It’s my peculiarity. It’s a quirky yet integral part of who I am.Essay 2 FinalVerylate one evening, I clicked the “submit” button with little fuel left in the tankas I had donefor thousands of times before. Several seconds later, a word came out on my screen instead of a long error log. Success! Immediately, I felt reinvigorated from the five-hour exhaustion created by repeated failure. I nearly jumped out of my chair and shouted to express my exhilaration. Despite the darkness of that night, my room was illuminated brightlyby my dim computer screen.When I first entered my high school, I heard from students that the meal-order system was really difficult to use. It not only had an ugly andunfriendly interface but also responded to the request very slowly. Mountains of complaints about this system were pervasivethroughoutmy school, but administrators were reluctant to improve it due to high costs.One day, when I was queuing for lunch in the cafeteria with my friend, my friend complained about the meal-order system again. “Last night, I spent approximately half an hour sitting behind my computer and doing nothing except clicking my mouse and waiting.” All of a sudden, an idea just popped into my mind, “What if I create a new system for students to use? It will save a lot of time for them.”Although I was able to write some small programs such as solving a Sudoku question, when I sat down behind the computer screen with ambition and put my hands on the keyboard, I found that I did not even know what to type for the first line. Class, method, variable, delegate… all my programming knowledge was cluttered up in my mind and I did not know where the starting line was.While holding onto this idea in my mind, I later discovered my own starting line: Google. Using Google, I discovered plenty of programming teaching video and instructions on some blogs. These resources dragged me out of the mire of messy knowledge and helped me develop an orderly and systematically programming. Accompanied by the hope to accomplish this system, I spent countless time with these videos and blogs.As the system took shape, I reached the core of the system: the web programming. I needed to find a way to transmit data from my program to the school internet server. Initially I imagined naively that ifI simply followed the manuals,the program would work. However, contrary to my thoughts, too many differences existed between instructions on blogs and my practical implementation. Thus, I had to learn the mechanism of the internet-based communication. Every day, scores of tabs in my browser waited for me to be read and learned. As hard as the time was, I enjoyed the time spent in making real value.Although finishing all the codes of my system, my work was only half-finished. Debugging was the other half. Different problems arose as data ran between the school server and my system. Debugging, as its literal name means, is not a pleasant work. It required enormous patience to analyze logics in the program. So many times I clicked the “Submit” button, a “Failure” message was sure to follow. Every detail from a single word to a punctuation was double-checked. Several days passing, very late one evening, magic happened. It ran successfully.Later on, I started to recruit friends and classmates as members of the closed alpha test. Not only did they point out suggestions and problems, they were also amazed by the whole meal-order system that I had made. One of members in the alpha test asked me why I decided to create this system. I answered simply, “Just because I wanted to try my best to do something that makes our lives easier.”I myself am also as simple as my answer. Always trying to make differences resides in my deep mind. Since I contacted the computer as a young child, I has been impressed by the omnipotence of computers. With computers, I made a customized map marking every school in my city to help Student Union to proceed the job. I built a VPN server to help my friends to access Google and Facebook which cannot be reached normally in China. I programmed a subtitle translation program to help students to learn English. All the things I have done before all only have the same aim, to make differences. As my motto goes, “Imagine two worlds, one with you and one without you. What’s the difference between the two worlds? Maximize that difference. That’s the meaning of your life.” With Computer technology, I am stepping further towards my ultimate goal, making a world of differences.Odds and EndsEssentially, life is all about how we approach it, and that’s also true about college applications. When I started writing this book, it was a complete mess, but I had a vision in mind: for me to pass my experiences and knowledge to you so that your visions of attending your dream school can come true. It went through many drafts, and truth be told, I’m still not satisfied. When you put your whole heart into something, you are never truly finished, never truly done because you want your life’s passion to be perfect. But there is no such thing as perfection. Only good enough. If, at the end of the day, you feel as if you gave it your all, and you can submit the application knowing that you will have no regrets regardless of results, then you have done your best. And that, young Padawan is success.FAQ’sCollege Application Book FAQs (from Quora)GPAHow do I get into Georgia Tech with a low weighted GPA?Aston Tsui, admissions counselorAs a tech school, you can offset a low weighted GPA through several means, but I must first say that if you are below a certain cutoff, there is very very little chance. Basically what I’m asking is, how low are you talking about? 3.5 weighted is pretty low for Georgia Tech. 3.0 weighted is virtually less than 5% chance (probably even lower), although I don’t have the statistics to back that up.However, if you are still within range, say, 3.7ish (even that is a relatively low weighted GPA…we’re talking weighted here…Georgia Tech is an elite tech school), you can do a couple of things to offset such a GPA.1.High SAT (obvious)2.High SAT II, particularly in Math and Science3.4’s and 5’s on AP multiple AP examsThose are the hard credentials. If you have a low GPA, chances are those hard credentials might be challenging as well (not trying to put you down, but I think there would certainly be a correlation since all of that is related to scholastic aptitude and academic ability).The next ways are more feasible and unique.1.Innovation-Can you invent an app or create a robot or something along those lines?2.Competition-Have you won any awards in international, national, regional, or even local events that merit distinction?3.Research potential-Can you publish an academic article in a recognized journal about something related to the fields and majors that are highly relevant to Georgia Tech?Those are the three alternative ways to distinguish yourself from the numbers and to offset a low GPA. You could also write a killer essay, but the essay can only do so much without demonstrated academic excellence. The essay matters most for the ones right on the border, not the ones far above or below the accepted range.There are probably a few more ways, but those 3 are your best shots. Good luck.Should I explain a small drop on grades during last year of High School?Hi! Where I live high school lasts 3 yrs and the grade scale is 0-100.Overview:1st yr of HS: best student, GPA 93.52nd yr: vest student, GPA 93.63rd yr: 2nd best, top 11.1%, GPA 92.5... (more)Aston Tsui, admissions counselorThere’s a long answer and short answer to this, with the short answer providing action and long answer giving you perspective as to the holistic review process of the application procedure.The short answer is no, because the drop in GPA is insignificant. However, I must ask the following questions…1.You were the best student the first two years-how large is your class size (your entire grade)2.In the first two years, you were the best student. In the third year, you were the second best, and based on the numbers you provided, you dropped 11.1%. The math tells me that if a one spot drop leads to an 11.1% drop, there are about 9 people in your entire grade. Although not a cause for panic, percentage wise it’s significant.Finally, you need to evaluate your transcript relative to your peers in several different ways by using simple statistics. At first glance, the numbers look great. However, what is the average grade of the members in your class and what is the standard deviation. If you are number one at 93+, but the average is 92, then that’s not so impressive, although that exact scenario is implausible.Your transcript is interpreted based on your numbers RELATIVE to your peers. Raw numbers by themselves can be misleading and meaningless, and sometimes even used to skew perception, as often done by the media.The second part of the interpretation of your transcript is STRENGTH OF CURRICULUM. Were you taking all honors and APs consistently throughout the three years or was there a steep drop off the third year? Was it 4 AP’s 2nd year and then 0 AP’s with an 11.1% drop the third year? In THAT case, that would be significant, wouldn’t you agree?With all this said, I do not recommend you to address this somewhat trivial matter (at face value) in your main essay or even supplemental essays. In the Common App and the UC app, there is a section (with about a 500 word limit) that gives you the opportunity to explain any inconsistencies, drop offs, extended absences, hardships, etc. I would use that section to explain this, if you choose to. Most students who use this box use it for much more dire reasons, including incarceration or absences of over a year due to sickness or something along those lines.If you choose to, the perception of you from the AO point of view would likely be a student that is slightly anxious and very concerned about academics and grades. That is a double edged sword because it could indicate excuses, over-anxiety, over-concern with grades, and social comparison. On the flip side, it could indicate a genuine concern for academic excellence, maintaining a high standard for oneself, and academic promise. After all, most students don’t lose sleep over a 1.1 point drop in overall GPA and inquire quora about it. I would say that the edge is far more right than inappropriate.You seem like you have promise. Good luck with your apps and keep moving forward!What are my chances?What are my chances of getting into UCLA if my GPA is below the average from my high school?The average gpa for kids accepted at LA from my school is 4.27. Mine is 4.21. My test scores aren’t great (2070 & 2030 SAT, 32 ACT), but I have relatively many ECs (martial arts instructor, marching band section leader, on board for 2 clubs) and volunteer work at 4 places. Can I still get in?Aston Tsui, studied at University of California, Los AngelesThose numbers are actually very competitive for UCLA. You are literally on the fence when it comes to UCLA. When I first read your question, I expected a far below average like a 3.5 or something. A 0.06 difference is insignificant because you are in range. Also, remember that the average and even other descriptive statistics such as interquartile range can be misleading, because that’s right in the middle, which means around half of the students below the average will get in with the below average GPAs.As far as ECs go, you have space for 5, and you listed 4, all representing leadership and fairly diverse (martial arts and band), plus volunteer should be your 5th. I would combine all the volunteer work into one category so that all your ECs fit into the alotted space. To be honest, I haven’t checked to make sure that it’s still 5 alotted spaces, but your ECs are strong enough.Your numbers are solid, given your GPA you probably took a good amount of APs, and your ECs are solid too. You are right there with the competition for UCLA, trust me.What should differentiate you will be the personal statement, which is an 8 choose 4 (350 words each) format. I’m guessing you’re applying next year because the deadline has already passed for this round.I’ll give you a tip about UCLA as an alumni. UCLA is about social equality, social justice, and public service. The official charity is Unicamp, which brings underprivileged kids to a weeklong camp, and the money is fundraised by the students. Medicine and donating blood (get out the red, USC), is a big thing. It’s a lot about service to the greater community, especially those who are underprivileged. But that doesn’t mean if you are privileged you are at a disadvantage. If you deserve to get in, you deserve to get in. And based on the info you’ve provided, you are in the competitive range. Good luck!I got a D in Calculus 1 and will retake it. Do I still have a chance at transferring to UCLA or USC as a business major?Aston Tsui, studied at University of California, Los AngelesTo be very honest, literally one D can ruin your chances at a school like UCLA or USC, but it depends on all your other class grades as well. Also, you mentioned transferring. That means you are in college already? However, if you retake it and get a higher grade, especially an A, that might actually even work in your favor if you have an incredible upward trajectory. Finally, UCLA does not have a business major. UCLA has business economics, which is more economics than business. Trust me, most of my friends were interested in business at UCLA. And guess what, the first 3 or 4 classes you will take are going to be Microeconomics, Macroeconomics, and then the Calculus series consisting of basic calculus all the way to advanced calculus. UCLA is not a good choice for a pure business major. Maybe graduate school though.USC, on the other hand, is an excellent choice for business. I don’t know the business major curriculum, but I know their business program is good. Good luck.Does a low GPA ruin my chances at admission selective colleges?I am resident from a competitive northern Virginia private school. My weighted gpa is a 3.75, I have taken nine AP courses over my four years, and all honors before that. Im an Eagle Scout, and very big into service to others, and have a 31 on the act. Im applying to UVA, UMich, and William & Mary.Aston Tsui, admissions counselorNo, it doesn’t. Well, not completely. If you look at data charts of admitted students to selective colleges, such as the ones you are applying to, there are always outliers that make it in somehow…those students are very unique due to their background, hardship, or have some kind of special talent, such as an athletic scholarship or something.However, given that you took 9 AP courses and your GPA is a 3.75, that means your average report card was slightly more B’s than A’s, most likely. 31 on ACT is fairly strong. However, for the three colleges you are applying to, you must demonstrate superior academic excellence. You must somehow distinguish yourself and be that special outlier because your pure academics, in my opinion, is not quite up to standard for those three very elite schools. Good luck.With a 1550 SAT and a 4.5 GPA, what are my chances of being accepted into an elite college?I am currently a sophomore in NC. I play 2 sports (varsity football and jv basketball). Currently ranked 1st in my high school (4A/ 1500 students).Aston Tsui, admissions counselorAfter you hit numbers like that, numbers don’t really matter anymore. All doors are open, but you need to be able to walk through the door. What does that mean?Sorry for sounding arrogant and coy, but after you hit THOSE types of numbers, you’ve essentially established that you can study and your academics are solid. After that, colleges are looking for several things, including:Background, personality, leadership, contribution to community, future potential, intellectual vitality, drive, spirit, innovative thinking, etc.That’s the YOU part. Who are YOU.The other part is FIT. Every individual school has very distinct qualities, philosophies, culture, feel. UC Berkeley and UCLA are very comparable, but have very distinct atmospheres that encompasses the campus as well as the student body. What the schools represent are distinct as well, but UCs in general share many distinctions.With those kinds of numbers, you’re pretty much looking at any college you want, but there are absolutely no guarantees when you get into that tier of competition. It’s almost like a lottery, with a huge element of luck. When it comes to the YOU part, be introspective and hone yourself. I don’t know what that means, but you do.When it comes to the fit part, an action you can take is to go to the school itself and visit the campus. Another thing you can do is use resources such as Niche: Explore Schools and Neighborhoods, Princeton Review, College Board, etc. to really get to know these colleges.Finally, consider specializations. What do you plan to major in? Is there a particular machine or research laboratory that is only available at a particular school (MIT/Caltech), such as a telescope or MRI machine or robotics lab? Is there a professor that you want to work with? THOSE are good reasons for choosing a particular school (when you answer the supplemental “why this school” essays that you will inevitably come across). Don’t focus on the brand name necessarily, but it’s impossible to ignore.To give generic examples, Carnegie Mellon is renowned for Computer Science. NYU Stern for business. Those are specialties. You can continue the research because you know your interests best.To give my example, UCLA was definitely my go to school because of many reasons, but to be specific, the psychology department is number 1 or 2 nationwide consistently, with the clinical dept especially renowned. I knew that’s what I wanted to study. Education was my second option, and UCLA didn’t have an ed major, but did have a decent minor in it, and an excellent graduate department. Finally, I grew up in LA and that’s my hometown school, so hands down, UCLA over Berkeley, for me at least. But that’s just me.This whole process is all about you. So. The question is, who are you, what do you want to study, why do you want to study that, and what is the best FIT for you? Be specific. Be bold. Be you.BTW, I’m guessing you have Duke and UNC Chapel Hill on your mind, given your location and sports background. Those would be two excellent choices to begin with. Duke is a long shot for virtually anybody. UNC Chapel Hill, with your numbers…depending on the rest of you, you have a very good chance. Apply EA for sure. How did you get a 1550 as a sophomore?! Shoot I kinda ignored the fact that you’re a sophomore.Your challenge is actually not all that I said, because that’s looking too far ahead. Your job is to plan appropriately, tackle challenges maturely, and sustain excellence. Where you’re at now, getting here is one thing. Staying one is another.What colleges can I get into with a 3.4 GPA (unweighted)? I want to pursue engineering more specifically software engineering or computer science.I went to a competitive school in NJ. I took 5 Honors classes Biology, Chemistry, Geometry, Algebra 2/Trig, Pre Calc and some AP classes which were Physics A (got 4), computer science A(got 5). I got a 30 on ACT and a 1300/1600 on SAT. Currently doing AP Calc AB, AP Physics B, and AP chemistry.Aston Tsui, admissions counselorYour hard credentials look pretty solid, and you should be competitive for most schools outside of the most elite ones. For engineering, the specific school I would recommend to you based on your credentials and interests would be Purdue university. Excellent engineering programs, not exceptionally hard to get into. You should be slightly above “match” for Purdue. Two other schools that you have a chance at, but not necessarily a high chance, would be Case Western and Georgia Tech. Not a bad chance though. Consider your “soft credentials” such as extracurriculars and personal interests a little bit more. Good luck!Can I get into University of Michigan or Georgia Tech with 1300 SAT, 27ACT as an international applicant who can pay full?Aston Tsui, admissions counselorUpdated Dec 16That’s a tough call. It’s a semi-unethical and misleading practice to provide you with percentages on your chances because it might lead to false hope, but your question insinuates that that is what you want to know. So I’ll let you know.First off, while international students who can pay full tuition are attractive to many universities due to diversity and full tuition, public universities typically have a cap on how many intl’ students they can accept because the nature of a public university is to serve the public, with the state in particular. With that said, let’s break down these two schools.It’s pretty hard to compare the two schools because one is southern elite tech and the other is a public ivy, but use your bare bones numbers of 1300/27, the chances are slim. Those are pretty average figures for both of those universities. Furthermore, international applicants typically score higher on standardized tests, partially because the vast majority of intl’ students are from China and India, masters of rote memorization and testing.As far as Georgia Tech goes, you have to look deeper and beyond the shallow numbers of 1300/27. Those are just right around/under the average. To look at the holistic review process, for Georgia Tech, you would have to factor in your STEM grades throughout your 4 years (chem, bio, physics, math, calc, algebra, geometry, etc), how consistent they are, and how difficult the classes were. So we have 1) consistency and 2) difficulty.After that we have to look at your SAT II scores, which should comprise of a math (preferably math II) and a science, and possibly another subject of your choice. Typically, my students from China score 790–800 on Physics and Math II on SAT II. Don’t be disheartened though…I was a counselor at one of the most prestigious private intl schools in all of China.After that, how many AP’s did you take, and how did you do on them?Finally, there’s the common app essay, and then there’s the supplemental for Georgia Tech. This year I had 11 students apply for Georgia Tech EA and it becomes super repetitive after a while, but the prompt is essentially a “why GT” essay. Why essays require you to do research on the school, find your niche, elaborate your genuine desire to attend the school as opposed to obtaining their brand name, etc. You need to see yourself at GT, being resourceful with all that the campus offers, and representing the ideals of GT, which you need to discover for yourself.As far as UMich goes, I haven’t had as much success in helping students obtain offers from that school, but I would say that it is slightly more difficult than GT, but that’s a very unfair statement because it’s apples and oranges. I had a ton of comp sci major students so of course my students would be favored by GT as opposed to UMich.In any case, good luck with both, and remember that it is a holistic review…not a game sheer numbers, lest you get lost among the pile.Intellectual VitalityWhich college can I go to so as to have my intellect spurred?I’m currently applying to college and would like one where I can engage in “higher conversation” with the majority of the students: I want to have passionate discussions about world views and philosophies.Basically, I want a place that can spur my intellect.Aston Tsui, studied at University of California, Los AngelesWritten Dec 21There is a wide array of universities that can “spur your intellect”, because that’s what higher education is supposed to do! Especially at the most elite levels. But, considering the way you described what you want, “passionate discussions about world views and philosophies”, it sounds like a top tier liberal arts college would suit you. There are many, many of which are not as famous as, say, Harvard or Stanford, but the people I have met from, say, Wesleyan, Smith, and Harvey Mudd, are some of the smartest and intellectually vivacious people I have ever had the opportunity to interact with. The admissions officers from Davidson and Pomona college were really cool also when I got a chance to meet them during a liberal arts recruitment tour through China.Furthermore, you talk about “world views”. This tells me you want diversity. Pomona is probably one of the most diverse colleges there are, gender-wise, culturally, and racially.Finally, in terms of socioeconomic diversity, this might be surprising to you, but UCLA is number one in terms of socioeconomic diversity. One of the principles of UCLA is social justice, equality, equity, and opportunity for all, regardless of need.I remember as a freshman, sitting in the hallways of Hedrick hall, 4th floor, talking to people from 7th floor and next door about the meaning of life. That was my thing at that time. I also had two very idealistic intellectual goals: to create a universal theory for predicting human behavior and to create a science of psychological economics. To the first, I quickly realized that humans are too complex to predict with a universal theory like you could do with something like, say, math or physics. Maybe it is possible, who knows, but that would mean we don’t have free will if we could predict human behavior with a universal theory, which is a totally different philosophical discussion. To the second, my “sister” a couple of doors down told me…uhhhhh I think they have psychological economics already…and in fact they do…it’s called behavioral economics, led by Dan Ariely of Duke University author of “Predictably Irrational”.Intellectual conversations of these types are definitely possible at large public universities such as UCLA, but based on your words of choosing, your lean seems to be towards liberal arts. A large public (or private for that matter, I think the word I’m looking for is national university), is designed for the generation of research first along with teaching, while liberal arts colleges are teaching and discussion oriented, with professors as your guides in intimate settings while large national universities are not as diverse, and HUGGGGEEEEEEEeeeeeee. Massive population tends to create a sort of culture that is more collective, if you understand what I’m saying. You’re not going to have a personal and intimate intellectual discourse on world views and philosophies in a 300 person lecture. You could though, maybe at UC Berkeley.Good luck!IntroWhy are American college applications so stressful?I am an international student, just to clarify. I always knew that US applications would be vastly different from that of the country I live in. I don’t mean to come across as rude, I just really require assistance on my application and absolutely no one where I reside is willing to aid me.Aston Tsui, admissions counselorAre you asking for aid or are you asking about why the applications are stressful? Or are those the same question?That which you care about, you tend to stress about, because you care. It’s cyclical you see. If you weren’t stressed, you simply don’t care about it enough, which means when you obtain it, it wouldn’t even feel like it mattered. The stress tells you this matters. The stress tells you this is important. It tells me that you are ready. Or at the very least, ready to question whether you are ready.The application process, if I were to streamline it and break it down into a Quora length readable response, would be this:5.GPAa.Includes courses taken, and difficulty of courses, such as APb.Weighted or Unweighted also mattersc.Difficulty of your school also mattersd.Country of origin also matterse.Performance relative to your peers also matters6.SAT/ACT7.SAT II (if applicable, dependent on the schools you are applying to)8.AP scoresThat pretty much takes care of the numbers. Next is Extracurricular Activities. When it comes to ECA’s, DEPTH over BREADTH. Many is good, but mastery of one is better than jack of all trades, sitting in the stands watching the meetings go by while your classmate is developing a new app. Also, use action verbs, and be clear about what it is you actually did in these ECAs. In the Common App, you have 10 slots to fill in with ECAs, but don’t feel as if you must fill it all out. Be honest.Good luck!MiscellaneousWould a gap year after 12th grade effect my chances of admission to a top university in US?I’m an international student in 12th grade and I decided to study in the United States. I’m considering taking a year off and apply to universities in 2017 fall however I’m not sure if would be a red flag on my application.Aston Tsui, admissions counselorAbsolutely a gap year would Affect your chances to a top university in the US, but the question is HOW. And the follow up question is, what do you plan on doing with that gap year? IF, somehow, it distinguishes you, beyond a reasonable doubt, in a way that your competition cannot match, then go for it. If there is no evidence or proof that you have done something substantial with the gap year, then it is very risky.The risk comes from several factors. One is that you are targeting TOP universities in the US. The applicant pool is already dense and competitive enough at that level. Being an international student also makes your probabilities slimmer in the case of public universities due to state/public interests.On the flipside, a gap year is unique and has the potential to show maturity, as if someone was in search of something that could help them become more complete or fulfilled, all the while understanding that it is not the ends or the means, but the process that was the most compelling impetus for the quest.Harvard advises their students to take gap years during their studies. But that’s after they’re already accepted by Harvard. In your case, I would say it’s a major risk, unless you can clearly delineate your purpose and plans during your gap year.But that’s just my two cents.What qualities or things do you need to have apart from great SAT scores, GPA, Extracurriculars to get accepted at the University of Chicago?Aston Tsui, admissions counselorWritten Dec 9The University of Chicago is notorious for having the most ridiculous, puzzling, and challenging personal statements out of all the applications. In fact, I can’t even think of a word to describe their essay prompts. Here’s an example, followed by the link:Essay Option 3.The ball is in your court—a penny for your thoughts, but say it, don’t spray it. So long as you don’t bite off more than you can chew, beat around the bush, or cut corners, writing this essay should be a piece of cake. Create your own idiom, and tell us its origin—you know, the whole nine yards. PS: A picture is worth a thousand words.—Inspired by April Bell, Class of 2017, and Maya Shaked, Class of 2018 (It takes two to tango.)The University of ChicagoApart from the “hard credentials”, these essays will certainly challenge your creativity, thinking style, writing style, and “out of the box” thinking. The way you approach it would also show whether you are more willing to take a risk and be more off the wall, or stick to standards of convention.The extended essays are also student driven, created by students of different graduating classes. This tells me that the University of Chicago likes to give their students a sense of agency and they like to see their students take initiative. Its an indirect form of empowerment.There is no way to max out or perfect these types of essays the way you can max out a GPA or test score. You simply have to process these essay prompts and see if any of the prompts make any sense to you, then proceed to wow them with your originality and distinguished nature.Good luck!How can we write a college admissions essay for colleges in the USA?Aston Tsui, admissions counselorWritten Dec 9Traditionally, college admissions essays/personal statements are written as a story that show character, qualities demonstrated such as leadership and perseverance, overcoming hardship, etc. That’s the WHAT, or the content of what you will be writing. In order to address the HOW, there could be several techniques you could utilize.1.Brainstorm-Brainstorming is something we’ve been familiar with since those worksheets we got in fourth grade, but the process can be daunting when you feel as if you have very little content to work with. The quickest way to start the process is to simply take a blank sheet of paper and in the middle, write down “ME”, or your name, or whatever the focal point of your personal statement should be. (It should be you.) Then, simply write down words that are offshoots of you. Focus on the positive and the qualities you’ve demonstrated in your life, but if it is negative, elaborate on how that has allowed you to grow and change and develop. Remember: the events in your life are objective. The interpretation of those events become your subjective reality, as you process your life through cognition.2.Mindmap-Next, take those words and try to find the links between them. For example, if you wrote down ME in the middle, and the offshoots werea) track and fieldb) NHSc) social acceptanced) AP English compositionf) Your familyThis is quite like a jumble without any kind of coherence initially. As it should be, because you’re just getting started. Now let’s look for the links.I have no idea what your background or personality or how you want to “angle” yourself to the colleges, so this has to be purely hypothetical.These 5 offshoots that I thought of off the top of my head represent sports, extracurriculars, a larger scope of HS life, academic courses, and background. Always think about what your words, sentences, and paragraphs represent. The meaning is more important than the literal words.Now, going deeper, what can we extract from these topics?Sports-leadership, teamwork, dedication, passion, achievement, competition, spirit, growthextracurriculars-going above and beyond, volunteering, sustaining excellence, balancing multiple obligations, potential leadershipsocial acceptance-insight, analysis, relationships, humanityAP English composition-academic excellence, dedication to academics, focus, industriousness, will, interest, potentialfamily and background-Connections, support, love, hardship, learning, growth, forgiveness, understanding1.Layered depth-If you want to get a little fancier, we can go with something I’ll call layered depth, which would be a kind of technique where you go deeper and deeper in a particular topic until you reach something so deep that it resonates and connects beyond a standard essay.Let’s use the social acceptance example.a) School is tough, hard to fit in, like Mean Girlsb) Why is school structure like that? Then you notice cliquesc) How do people behave in cliques? Each person has a role in each groupd) What is the function of each role of each person?e) How can one enter an established group or become expelled from a group through violating social normsFrom here, you have the opportunity to transition into a more academic and mature discussion of topics related to anthropology and sociology to show that you are more than just a typical candidate.f) How similar are humans to animals in the animal kingdom? Wolfpacks, bonobo monkeys, flocks of migrating birds, etc. (zoology)g) in-group out-group theory (psychology)h) How society functions (sociology)1.Micro/macrocosmLastly, microcosm and macrocosm can be used to take one tiny microscopic event and use it to symbolize a grand universal theme. Let’s use sports in this example.You constantly finish last place. That’s a normal occurrence. Somebody has to finish last in every race. But how does that feel? What does that mean? What did you do in response? Did you languish and accept it? Did you analyze it? Did you feel inferior? Is Darwinism the be all end all of land, or does man possess the power to harness his or her own strengths to overcome a situation through force of will and perseverance? That’s one example.Another example could be SOMEONE ELSE constantly finishes last and gets bullied and picked on all the time. You, as an observer, do not contribute to the bullying nor do you aid this person. Meanwhile, you observe, and sit, and watch. How do you interpret this situation? What does this mean? What will you response in the future? Will you do anything? Did you feel compelled to help but felt powerless in the situation because of the power of the social situation? Or did you accept that such is life and one person can only do so much?These are the questions that will reveal your character, and the way you present your answers is the revelation of your own nature. There is no falsifying of content because you are who you are and nobody else. And nobody can be you.But just know that every instance, moment, event, or situation, no matter how mundane (such as Newton’s apple falling from a tree), or cataclysmic (natural disasters, the terror you see in the news ever day), can represent and symbolize the essence of who you are.If you can present it well enough, and it’s a good fit with the school, luck will be on your side. On that note, there will always be a factor of luck. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have the means to put yourself in the best position to become the best that you are capable of becoming.Also, here’s a free personal statement book that I wrote, but it’s extremely difficult to write a full length, polished, and satisfactory book to my standards. But it’s free so why not!Free Personal Statement BookHere’s a script I wrote for a video regarding the writing process…In this video, we’re going to skip a lot of the counseling process and move towards the personal statements because that’s where a lot of the value is. In order to hone your editing skills, you should employ a technique I’m going to refer to as “The 5 Point Check”. It is essentially a checklist of key aspects of the writing in your student’s essay. They are:1) Tone2) Structure3) Grammar/Mechanics4) Flow (transitions+diction)5) ContentTone-Tone is the way something sounds. It can have a serious connotation, feeling, or vibe. This can be conveyed through periods and curt statements. Or…it could be suspenseful…and maybe even animated! The reader should try and stay consistent though, or else it can very difficult to establish the voice of the writer.Structure-The structure is the skeleton, template, or mold of the essay. The statement must progress forward in a way that is coherent, logical, and progressive. The classic way to ensure that structure exists before starting to write is by OUTLINING using a 5 paragraph essay. A 5 paragraph essay consists of:1)Introduction, including the thesis statement at the end of the paragraph2)Main Idea 1 (Body)3)Main Idea 2 (Body)4)Main Idea 3 (Body)5)Conclusion that summarizes the essay and ties up loose endsThat’s the most BASIC structure though. There are many different ways to create form out of your substance, but as long as the essay makes sense as a cohesive whole, then structure has been established.Grammar/Mechanics-Grammar and mechanics are the rules of conventional writing.For a more in depth review of grammar, please check out this supplemental video.Please keep in mind that language is constantly evolving, so rules can be broken if it somehow appropriate. An example would be colloquialism, or if you want to sound friendly, as if you were talking to a peer.Flow-Flow is progression. Flow is smooth. It could be jagged if that’s what you want to establish, but you want to put grab the reader with a hook, then put the reader in a trance with your articulate thoughts and your eloquent style. Simply progress naturally towards an eventual end of your story.Content-There is the ability to write. And then there’s content. Content is the material with which you write.If you are a swordswith, your art is making swords. Your tool is a hammer, or whatever you forge swords with. Your MATERIAL is steel, or whatever you MAKE swords with.If you are a writer, your art is writing. Your tool is your pen, rhetorical devices, and your mind. Your MATERIAL is your content. Content is what life is made of.Your content is the steel with which you’ll carve your character into the minds of your readers.It is most likely the most important component of the five aspects of writing we cover here.Content is important. Because content is king.Good luck!Personal StatementsWhat achievements should I write about in a college essay?Aston Tsui, admissions counselorWritten Dec 8This may sound condescending, but the obvious answer is the achievement that stands out the most. It may be the most relevant, the most prestigious, the most impressive, or the most important, but the key factor is that you should pick the achievement that best represents you. Here is a clue from the old UC prompt #2:Prompt #2 (All Applicants): Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?Embedded within each prompt are clues as to how you should approach essays. Here, the key words under a microscope would be “proud” and “relate (to the person you) are”.Therefore, what comes to mind when we zoom in on those accomplishments that make you proud and relates to the person you are?To be more practical and less coy, lengthier and deeper achievements are usually more favorable than one shot wonders. What that means is…4 years of steady progression in one activity is likely better than 4 ECAs of 1 year each. A jack of all trades masters none, with shallow development in each. A 4 year letterman of a sport, a 4 year member of a band, or a member of CSF or NHS or other honor society that started off as just an observant member to an organizer to an executive board member shows much more dedication, perseverance, and heart. The ties that bind through time are stronger than the ties forged through networks of the moment, for the moment, and in the moment, to perish once the moment ends.What type of application essay touches the admissions officers?Aston Tsui, admissions counselorWritten Dec 8Truthful, honest, sentimental, sincere. The tone often dictates these characteristics of your writing. It’s not so much the “type” of essay so much as the content, or the story that you present. If it’s real, relatable, and human, the spirit or essence of you will resonate with the reader.But keep in mind there will always be an element of luck to “touching” the AO because you don’t get to choose who reads your work. The AO might be callous or may have been fooled before by fraudulent essays. I’m not saying you do or will, but I know that every year thousands of essays are fabricated to some extent.Don’t try to be what the AO wants you to be. Just be who you are and it should shine through if the effort is given, the writing is polished, and the story is sound.What is the best outstanding college admission essay that you have read written by a high school student?As a student, teacher, professor, college admission board member or whoever (X) - What is the best and outstanding college admission essay that you have read or you are aware of.Aston Tsui, admissions counselorWritten Dec 8For the UNC Chapel Hill supplementary essay, the prompt went something like…if you had to create a 28th amendment, what would it be?My student was an international student from China. Most Chinese students have trouble brainstorming or coming up with the ideas of how to begin a personal statement because they are not taught to think or question authority. Anyways, this particular student went on to address the prompt by saying that there should be an amendment creating a limit on the duration of primary elections because they are too wasteful in terms of time energy and money. He put it much more eloquently and passionately than I could, because he genuinely loved politics.Keep in mind that this came during the time of Trump’s ascendancy and our conversations came during the time when Rubio, Cruz, Carson, and about 10 other Republican candidates were still on the board, so it was extremely relevant at the time.He ended up getting into UNC Chapel Hill, Case Western, Wake Forest, UCLA, and many other notable schools. The admissions officer from Case Western even wrote a personal message about how he or she enjoyed reading the essay.The student currently attends UC Berkeley.What is the best way to conclude a personal essay?Aston Tsui, admissions counselorWritten Dec 7Relate it back to the past, or the introduction of the essay. If you do this, it gives a feeling of closure or satisfaction to the essay as a complete whole.The other way is to extend it to your future potential…future plans, ambitions, what will you study, what will you do, how will you contribute to your community, etc. How will college help you become the person you envision yourself becoming in the future—a person the university would be proud of?What are some of your top ten things to have in a college admission essay?Aston Tsui, admissions counselorWritten Nov 241.intellectual vitality2.character3.insight4.leadership5.action6.perseverance7.potential8.fit with the school9.background10.future plansShould I make my college application essay about watching Naruto?Aston Tsui, admissions counselorWritten Oct 24This is actually a pretty fun question because it’s a sort of “otaku” topic but it has all sorts of potential if you tap into the intellectual, cultural, and other aspects of the show.I started watching Naruto probably my junior year of high school (2004) and stopped right after Naruto takes out Pain. WAYYYY too many fillers and I never got to the end, but I generally know what happens.Colleges are looking for a lot of things, but primary of which is academic potential and individual talents/abilities/diversity and a whole bunch of other “qualities”. So how can you show your intellectual abilities as well as your qualities by talking about Naruto?For me, the here are some of the most interesting aspects and how they could present themselves in a college application essay..characters-each character has a special skill set and ability. Japan is a very conformist culture where individuality can be inhibited. How does the revelation of each character’s distinct skillset say about the mindset of the author and how does it reflect Japanese culture?style-is there something about the drawings, the details, and the art of Naruto that really strikes you? For example, Naruto is very brightly colored and has a lot of action. The attacks are very bright with bright blue rasengan’s and jet black with gray lightning in Sasuke’s “Chidori”. Sakura has pink hair, Naruto has a orange jumpsuit, yellow hair, blue eyes, and eventually orange eyeliner when he goes “sage” mode. Does any of the art appeal to you?meaning-although manga, anime, and games are forms of expression that seem more “play” than “work” or “academia”, these mediums are poignant depictions of society. There are many messages spread throughout the lineage of the series, including the relationship between pupil and master (many instances), feudalism (the hokage’s and the different countries and power), philosophy (the most important life is that of the unborn child, as the third/fourth hokage sacrifice their lives for the future, but the scene was from the fourth hokage’s son sacrificing his life as well while fighting akatsuki).Anyways, I hope that spurs your thinking. Remember, regardless of topic…intellectual vitality!What college major will make use of all my time?I hate doing nothing for an extended period of time.Aston Tsui, studied at University of California, Los AngelesWritten Oct 21The major doesn’t decide what will make use of all your time. You will decide how you will use up all of your time. If you don’t plan, you’re not going to be as optimally productive. So if you want to be productive, you could use a timetable and plan ahead. OR, you can wait until the moment comes to you and then you decide what to do in that moment. But without a sort of push factor like motivation or a pull factor like a goal, it will be hard to reach it.With that said, if you study something you love, you will naturally make use of your time. What excites you? What interests you? What do you care about the most?For me, that was psychology. I was able to read the textbooks for fun because it was naturally interesting to me for some reason. Now I understand that it was to understand myself, society, and people at large.What can you do for fun, and for free? If you can do that thing, you can make a living off of it somehow.What does it take to get into UC Berkeley, UCLA, or UCSD?To anyone that got in: how'd you do in school, grades wise? And is there a large role in ethnicity or location that goes into the application process and acceptance?Aston Tsui, studied at University of California, Los AngelesWritten Oct 19I applied for four schools: UCI, UCLA, UC Berkeley, and UCSD. I got into all 4 and did my undergrad at UCLA 05–09′.Hrmmmmm to get into the UC system. Well, from what I recall, the UC system has a pretty unique philosophy and admissions system. First of all, the motto of the UC system is “fiat lux”, or “let there be light”. The UC system is a public school system and strives to admit students who are excellent academically (based on the A-G requirements) and contributes to the dynamics of each campus in the way that the school can preserve and enhance their culture.The “stats” for these three schools are very broad, because these three schools are HUGE in terms of student body, (around 25,000 undergraduate). But here were mine:1350/1600 SAT (average UCLA SAT)2150 SAT II (Writing, Math, History? I can’t remember the third subject)4.19 weighted GPA7 AP’s-passed 6 with 4 or 54 sports, 2 varsity, 4 years in cross country and basketball, also did baseball and track and fieldnot a leader, but was very involved in extracurricular activites like volunteer, social clubs, NHS, CSF, honor societies, Yearbook, Idea Magazine, etc.My personal statement was about my upbringing, calculus, and basketball/cross country. Looking back, I don’t think it was that good, but good enough.ANYWAYS! After attending UCLA and meeting lots of people from UC Berkeley and UCSD, I discovered that these three schools, with UCLA in particular, strive to admit students that represent the following characteristics:Diversity, social equality, unity, public service, among othersLocation doesn’t really matter, but most of the students are from California. I think they’re still excellent schools for out of state and international students though.Anyways, great opportunities abound! Good luck on your applications!Post-App questionsHow do I avoid the fear of going to college?I am currently a senior high school student, and I study in China. In the next year I will go to the college in USA. This will be my first time going abroad for study.Aston Tsui, BA in Psych, UCLAWritten Dec 16Well, I’m guessing that your fear stems from the fear of the unknown. “What if I can’t make friends…what if I don’t fit in…what if I can’t keep up…what if my English…” etc etc. That’s all conjured up inside of your mind, and to be very honest with you, I think everyone goes through this phase of doubting themselves, especially as an international student.Therefore, first know that you’re not alone and that a lot of people go through this. There should be an orientation during the summer which you should definitely attend to help you get more familiar with the campus and the surroundings.You’ll also have a support system, such as an RA (residential advisor), and possibly programs and also counseling centers that will be there for you. Trust me, even though you might feel scared or tentative in approaching these resources, they want you to go if you need it. That’s what they’re there for.Second, remember when you were in middle school and you were about to go to high school? You had different uniforms, different classes, and different classmates. New teachers, new books, new life. You remember that right? In that moment, weren’t you scared? I know I was. But looking back on it, isn’t it kind of silly and fun to talk about with your friends as you guys reminisce?Now, it’s no guarantee that your transition will be as smooth, but try to be bold, be brave, and don’t let things bother you too much if they don’t work out as planned. Get involved in groups, clubs, and activities. There’s always someone like you. You just gotta find them.[A1]So we talked about using the intro of “I love words”, but when we take it out and go STRAIGHT into the story it’s a little bit more INTRIGUING. Show not tell right? Doesn’t it sound better? The point is, you’re setting up an interesting story based on the fact that you love words. That statement allowed you to get started. So far so good![A2]I feel like “confusion is what’d he would feel in this situation, right?”[A3]Great word for the situation[A4]You can give some great example MUN words you love to use here.[A5]Something happens is not very exciting. Set the stage.[A6]VERY interesting description. Very unique J[A7]haha[A8]great![A9]Can you think of another analogy? What does a doctor do with his tools? Does he/she wave them? Surgeons make incisions. Consider that…[A10]Mak e it clear that the LEARNING or the STUDYING of all these words are like a burden.[A11]“With little fuel left in the tank” is a little better[A12]Reads much smoother. Good job![A13]I’ll start being more specific with the edits here now that I know what you’re trying to say.[A14]Word count, simplicity[A15]Important detail. It gives me specific information about you and your background knowledge which supplements the rest of your application.[A16]Simple enough. Good.[A17]Very nice jargon that shows expertise and realism[A18]Again, superb ending[A19]Can we shorten this?[A20]Can me make this more exciting? Should we?[A21]A lot of TELL instead of SHOW.[A22]Can use a much improved ending.