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Why did my coworker snitch to HR just because I called her fat and to stop eating the pizza and pick up a salad?

Hi, there. Close the door. Have a seat.It has come to our attention that you’ve been offering unsolicited health advice to a coworker and it has become an issue. I’ve looked over your job description and performance expectations. I’ve discussed them with your supervisor and the employee who filed the complaint to make sure I have the clear picture.Now that I have you here, I want to be sure I understand. Does your job involve - in any way - providing expert health advice to the staff?No? Fine. Are you, in fact, a subject matter expert in fitness or qualified as a dietician or other health professional?No? Fine. Did the employee, at any time, solicit your opinion on her general health or fitness in the confines of an off-hours or casual conversation?No? Well. The first two questions shed light on the possible bleed between supplemental employment or activities into your work life, which might have mitigated the issue, if only slightly.As your advice is neither expected of you by your position nor desired of you from your coworkers, let this <appropriate discipline action> stand as our understanding that your continued employment with this firm is based on your agreement to refrain from such activities in future. Further, you have been enrolled in both Professional Decorum and Sexual Harassment training to assist in your understanding of these workplace issues. The physical appearance of anyone working here is not to be a subject of your evaluation or discussion.Please understand that if you see me again related to this subject, I will deduct the cost of the four banker’s boxes you will use to cart your belongings from this building from your final paycheck.Good day, sir.—Editorial Comment—There has been a bit of contextual obfuscation in this thread where certain examples were put out there to make telling a coworker “you’re fat” tolerable or even acceptable. In this open hypothetical, the factual details are open to anyone’s interpretation. Fill in the details as you wish.In my mind, a few things happened before the complaint was lodged.The employees received and acknowledged a copy of the Coworker Code of Conduct which outlines what kind of behavior will and won’t be tolerated. I can’t think of a context in which a coworker saying “You’re fat” is acceptable. There are ways of communicating that diplomatically, I’m sure, but I took the question verbatim.The employees have performance standards related to interpersonal relationships. Those should further define “build positive working relationships” which is not undertaken by calling a coworker a name.I made the assumption that the questioner was confronted by HR after the complaint and asked questions. A PDC or fact-finding meeting was held.I also took the question as an admission. “…just because I called her fat…” This also told me that the complainant was telling the truth and was genuinely offended. If there were two sides to this and barbs were traded, it would have changed the outcome. But that was not evident.I assume that the subject of the complaint does not have a serious health condition on file to excuse or condone the behavior. If, in the course of the fact-finding, the employee were to reveal some kind of need for accommodation, it would have had an impact on the result. But that was not in evidence so I didn’t consider it in my hypothetical response to a hypothetical.Calling a coworker “fat” did not result in termination. The training is intended to assist in helping the employee understand this in a positive way. That’s the carrot. However, the offense is binary. It is not something that can be improved over time. You either do it or you don’t. You cannot tell an employee they must cut down on the number of people they call fat (or anything else). You don’t fail by degrees in this. If it happens again, it is in willful disregard of a direct order and, being a Final Warning, violation of terms for continued employment.Maybe it is harsh. But if the rules are there, is your right to insult a coworker more important than your privilege of employment? Your mileage may vary.

What don’t they tell you about the Chinese Communist Party?

Godfree Roberts's answer to What don’t they tell you about the Chinese Communist Party? pretty much sum up the general facts about CCP which fewer people acknowledge.I was born in a family to have tradition serve in Vietnam Communist Party since 1945. Later on, when I move to Australia (I choose not to do the same step despite family encouragement), I have the chance to meet young CCP members (people call us Red second-generation leadership). Both parties have the nearly identical trait and way of operation, management.Working for the party is not the same for everybody, the variety depends on the position, location, task... In general, most of the position is underpaid, with no overtime pay. I know some most talented university friends, they work for Party many years in junior positions. They can easily get paid 2x - 3x time in the private sector.So what channel an ordinary person can apply to become a member of CCP or VCP?They are recruited from studying time at University. After finishing their time in University, they can choose to work in the public sector (public servants, governance job, various departments…) at the junior level.Enlist in PLA/PAV, finish compulsory training (2 years or more). To become permanent staff in the military, Party member is a must. You will be advised to apply for Party membership if you want to advance your career/rank/payroll.Any ordinary person can apply to become Party member.If you work in the public sector or any service which is paid by the government (law enforcement, emergency service, hospital, public education, public safety service, internal security, state research, SOE, government organization…), become a Party member is necessary to advance your career to senior positions.Selection process and assess the performance/recruiting is brutal. You have to be high discipline, rational, law-abiding citizen, well-educated. You are 24/7 365 days a year Party member, expected to be a model citizen. My Party friends often feel that it was too strict. Any wrong action or words can cost your career, fortune, family. There are a few examples:A group of junior CCPs got into brawling with drunk customers while they dined in the restaurant. One of the guys threatens to bring those drunkards to local police because they mess with authority. At the end, when the video of this fight float in Weibo, junior CCPs had to apologize to the public and victims. They were transferred, disciplined. It will affect their career in future.Some senior CCPs children use luxury and high-end commodity in public. It leads to outrage from people, they have to apologize public because of the boastful lifestyle of their children/family. In many cases, the Central Discipline Committee would like to investigate that matter. There was 1.3 million CCP member got jail time under the anti-corruption campaign.Another mistake can cost CCPs member their career is adultery. In the West, it is not necessarily bad to commit adultery as politicians. They will be disciplined and demoted because of lack of honesty and modesty. A friend of mine was transferred to lower office, he cheated his long-time girlfriend with one of his team-member.People in the West have the fantasy that we CCP/VCPs can flash out our membership card, give order to people or arrest/harass them as our will (Sound like V for Vendetta). In reality, you will be arrested and punished under rules of law and Party code of conduct.Population tend to treat CCP/VCP member with less respect or just like “another job” but demanding their contribution, dedication to society.When leadership needs to mobilize you to help out natural disaster, war, state emergency. You have to pack up and go without any question or hesitation. Party may supply food, drink, amenity while you are mobilized but you are not entitled to overtime paid, holiday compensation. I heard some internal criticizes, members are not equipped or professionally trained for those dangerous tasks which they are assigned to.As a member of CCP/VCP, you are forbidden to run your own business or use your position to benefit for yourself. This regulation also applies to your family, wife/children…Party members who hold leadership rank (ministers, deputy, director…) consider themselves a problem-solver, rather than ruling elite class. It especially holds true to Xin Jiping, (except to lead PLA as Commander in Chief). He does not have the authority to arrest/surveil/imprison any Chineses without Court warrant/order. There is an exception which falls into national security (similar to Western countries). Xin action will be monitored and ruled out by Steering Committee and Central Discipline Committee. While Westerners see President/Prime Minister as Ceasar, Chinese see their President as CEO company - have power and don’t have power at the same time!!The most challenge CCP/VCP encounter in modern time is the “brain-drain” effect. They lose the younger leadership, many of them quit and work in the private sector.

Is Diamond Way Buddhism a cult?

I am answering this question as a long-term Buddhist practitioner and participant in a number of groups who believe that Buddhism should have open and clear ethical standards and ensure the safety of all people - teachers, students, pracyitioners, and all beings - through the creation of safe and sacred space in which all people are respected. Rather than making an evaluation, I am providing publicly available information and a method that anyone can use to decide for him or herself the validity or cult-like qualities of Diamond Way.Definitions and frameworkTo clarify the question: The question is speaking about a specific tradition, founded by the Danish Lama Ole Nyadhal. Other, more general meanings of Diamond Way related to Vajrayana Buddhism (the Buddhism of the Tibetan highlands) and the Mahayana Daimond Sutra) are not being discussed here.The other important opening note is the term “cult.” Here, I recognize Buddhism as a religion, and Vajrayana as a sect of Buddhism. A sect is a subdivision of a religion that has unique doctrine or practices. Sects have sub-sects. For example, Christianity is a religion, Protestantism is a sect, and each Protestant denomination (Episcopalian, Baptist, etc.) is a sub-sect.Some cults are not associated with any religion, but we are not discussing that here. A cult is a subset of a religion similar to a sect, but with some distinguishing markers. First, it is operating in a single generation with a charismatic leader. Second, it tends to isolate itself from other groups within its own religion and outside the religion.The above elements of cults are neutral, in terms of harm caused. Indeed, it has been argued that all religions begin as cults.Cult also carries a pejorative sense, but I wish to avoid discrimination and personal attacks. So, in talking about the harmful aspects of cults, I can refer to legitimate standards and discuss verifiable facts.In relation to the Buddhist tradition, central questions include legitimacy of heritage, forceful pressure of isolation and prejudicial views, financial practices that violate Buddhist tradition, and sexual practices that violate Buddhist tradition. In relation to the modern world, a religious leader holds a position of responsibility similar to that of a therapist, so the code of conduct of the American Psychological Association (APA) is a relevant guide. So I will add sexual behavior by leaders of Diamond Way that are in violation of the APA code of conduct.Legitimacy of heritage. This is largely on target. Lama Ole Nydahl did receive transmission from an authentic lama of the Kagyu school, Rngjung Rigpe Dorje, the 16th Karmapa. However, he did not complete a three-year retreat, which is the standard path in preparation for becoming a lama. The entire heritage became embroiled in controversy after Lama Ole was already ordained, and he was a significant figure in a controversy that led to a split of the Karma Kagyu school.Forceful pressure of isolation. There is one report of Lama Ole telling students not to meet and learn from a senior lama of a related lineage. If you choose to be involved in Diamond Way, be sure to visit other Vajrayana and Buddhist teachers. If you are discouraged from doing this, it is a warning sign of cult behavior. Also, Ole himself has made prejudical remarks against Islam that are factually inaccurate. He says that, in doing this, he is speaking as a person and not as a Lama, but speaking untruths and denigrating others are violations of the sila, the Buddhist precepts.Financial practices and appropriate fees. In the Buddhist tradition, basic meditation training and attendance at daily or evening meditations is always free. Reasonable fees can be charged for day-long or longer retreats, and additional fees for room and board. The teacher should receive no pay, but only gifts directed to him. If you are attending Diamond Way events, see if these ancient rules are followed and if fees are comparable with the cost of other Buddhist retreats. I have not found any data on this issue myself.Sexual practices. While a Lama and during his first marriage, Lama Ole openly engaged in sexual activity with multiple female students. This raises three issues: 1) Depending on one’s view of sexual activity as part of Tantra, this may or may not violate Tantric Buddhist practices. It does violate two precepts of the general Buddhist tradition, one calling for celibacy or monogamy, and the other calling for keeping one’s vows. 2) It violates the APA guidelines regarding sexual activity with a person over whom one has psychological influence or control, which is strictly forbidden, and also the rule against forming dual relationships that are open to abuse of power. 3) Similar behavior by another Karma Kagyu lineage holder, Osel Tendzin, led to the deaths of himself and many members of the community due to unsafe sexual practices while the teacher had HIV/AIDS. Tendzin’s behavior allegedly included rape and hiding his HIV status, was effectively murder, and was much more severe than anything reported about Lama Ole. But the similarities raise significant concern.My data is derived from Wikipedia, especially this page, Ole Nydahl. In this case, based on my own personal involvement in bringing awareness to abuse of power in Western Buddhist practices, I am confident that the source provides accurate information, most of it either public and/or acknowledged by Lama Ole himself.

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